A Novel Noel (Hallmark Mystery - 2024)

[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Brian and I love Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Brian, I like Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast. Friends host this podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Boy, this song gets better. It ages like a fine wine. It sure does.

[00:00:38] Happy Sunday, everybody. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. We're back. Yeah, we're back. We're back. And it's, I guess, you know, officially Thanksgiving week. It's kind of weird that the calendar week starts on Sunday, but the work week doesn't start until Monday. Sunday's the first day of the week. I know. It's just weird. It's our Lord's Day. It feels like the last day. It does. You know? It does. You get a case of the, what do they call it? My wife says it. The Sunday scaries. Yeah. I never understood that. But I mean, I do get to come in Monday morning.

[00:01:08] I'm going to watch movies, so that might have something to do with the fact. But these movies do scare you. You do? Yeah. This one scared me. Something fierce, Bram. I'll say that. So, I mean, it does feel like Sunday scary. I don't know. Like, I don't really know what that means. Like, you get scared about going back to work, I guess. The Sunday scaries is like you have trouble, like, winding down. Do you have the Sunday scaries, Aaron? Man, I know you like your job. Careful. You're talking to your boss. You don't have to answer this.

[00:01:32] Yeah, no, always. I have had Sunday scaries in the past. I don't get them for this job. I mean, my kids hate going to school on Monday. Yeah, you just dread the next day. Sunday scaries. Sunday scaries. Yeah. So, in the past, you get it. You understand. But, like, my wife likes her job, but still on Sunday, she's like, I don't want to go back to work on Monday. I guess there's something to that.

[00:01:51] I don't want to work. I want to bang on this mug all day. That's right. Hey, everybody. Welcome. It is Thanksgiving week. It is Thanksgiving week. Got a big, big week planned out for you. Yeah, I mean, pretty regular. The following week. It's a big, big weekend next week. This week. You just lay on that big weekend next week. I mean, it's big. It's big. Both places. Start packing your bags for all the fun you're going to have next weekend.

[00:02:19] We are covering, technically, the same amount of movies this week as we are next week. Put a sheet on that door for next week. That's right. Put a sheet on that door. It's just different. We're doing the same amount of movies this week. It's just different. It's different. It's the same but different. Next week's all Christmas. More Hallmark. Yeah, that's right. I hope it's all Christmas. None of the other stuff. Oh, right. Yeah. I don't know. Hallmark plus who knows. They just do whatever they want to over there. It's only Sunday. Yeah. But yeah, we're excited. Another week. You guys like Thanksgiving.

[00:02:49] Thanksgiving, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I like all the fixings. Yeah, you're a fixin' boy. Well, not this guy over here who doesn't like dinner. Thanksgiving. The food at Thanksgiving is the most odor rated. Odor rated. Odor rated. Smell it. It's the most overrated. If it's so good, why don't you do it other times of the year? It doesn't take any longer. It's special. It's like the highlighter analogy. You know, it's special. Turkeys do take a long time. I don't like turkey. Yeah, okay. But the sides. What side is like so special you can only have it on Thanksgiving?

[00:03:16] There's no side I eat on Thanksgiving that I don't eat through. Thank you. And you're consistent with that, and I appreciate that about you. Same here. I love Thanksgiving sides.

[00:03:23] Because it's a normal thing for you. If you go to the Popeyes, you get mashed potatoes and gravy. That's not something you're waiting for.

[00:03:30] I do like turkey, but I've never made a turkey in my life, and it's just one of those things.

[00:03:38] If you're not like... You either have to make a bad turkey or take your time and make it.

[00:03:41] I like a turkey. I like a turkey, so I'm never upset about it.

[00:03:45] But I do think that of the meats that people make, one of the reasons why people don't do turkey all the time is because it does take...

[00:03:53] Most work for least flavor.

[00:03:56] It is a big bird.

[00:03:57] Yeah, most work least flavor.

[00:03:59] Break a break on nine.

[00:04:00] Yeah, big old bird.

[00:04:01] That's exactly right.

[00:04:03] Yeah. I like it, though.

[00:04:05] Okay, sue me.

[00:04:07] I think we're doing all charcuterie this year for Thanksgiving.

[00:04:09] That's a good idea.

[00:04:10] It's just a big charcuterie plate.

[00:04:12] That's what we're doing.

[00:04:13] I think that charcuterie is pretentious.

[00:04:17] Fair.

[00:04:18] I'm coming up with this as I talk.

[00:04:20] If something is good that is pretentious, then I'm fine being pretentious.

[00:04:24] It's one day a year.

[00:04:25] Let's just call it what it is, though.

[00:04:27] See how this works?

[00:04:28] You're starting to get it now.

[00:04:30] It's just a mean cheese.

[00:04:31] Oh, no.

[00:04:31] There's mustard.

[00:04:32] There's a lot of different types of meats and cheeses.

[00:04:35] There's some fruit as well.

[00:04:37] You got bread.

[00:04:38] Crackers.

[00:04:39] Really artisanal bread is a big part of charcuterie.

[00:04:41] You don't do that, though, on meat and cheese sports?

[00:04:43] I put bread and crackers on it for sure.

[00:04:45] That's what I'm saying.

[00:04:46] I think it's just like, hey, we're American about everything.

[00:04:52] And then we get bread and cheese and meat, and we're like, it's charcuterie.

[00:04:56] Well, it's not a sandwich.

[00:04:58] It's charcuterie.

[00:04:58] You should call it a sandwich.

[00:04:59] I know.

[00:05:00] It's bread.

[00:05:00] It's bread.

[00:05:01] I'm like, you're pronouncing it correctly.

[00:05:03] It's meat and cheese.

[00:05:04] Was it Panda that would always, like, every time, it would just, like, spin the wheel of

[00:05:07] how to pronounce this?

[00:05:08] Yeah.

[00:05:09] Charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie, charcuterie.

[00:05:11] Like, he was just like, charcuterie.

[00:05:12] I think if somebody who has a hard time with words, I think that is a barrier for a lot

[00:05:17] of people.

[00:05:18] Charcuterie.

[00:05:18] Do you think so?

[00:05:19] I'm just saying.

[00:05:20] Stick with turkey.

[00:05:21] We've dumbed stuff down a lot here in America, but for some reason with the meat and the cheese,

[00:05:26] it's like charcuterie.

[00:05:28] If it was just meat and cheese, I'd just call it meat and cheese.

[00:05:30] I wouldn't call it charcuterie.

[00:05:32] You get me some pickled peppers, some mustard, some different fruits, some crackers, some bread.

[00:05:38] Now we're talking.

[00:05:39] All right.

[00:05:41] All right.

[00:05:42] I'm just saying.

[00:05:42] Yeah.

[00:05:43] I mean, I can literally, like, oh, my gosh, look at this Thanksgiving spread with all the

[00:05:47] things I either would eat every day or would never eat.

[00:05:49] That's true.

[00:05:50] Everything on that table falls into a column of would eat regularly or would not eat at

[00:05:55] all.

[00:05:55] Yeah.

[00:05:56] But that same is true with charcuterie.

[00:05:58] But it's about the people you're with, I think.

[00:05:59] Same is true with charcuterie.

[00:06:00] No, I don't eat charcuterie often at all.

[00:06:02] Very rarely do I choose it because I think for a meal, I usually would want something else,

[00:06:07] but there's something about Thanksgiving where you're not going anywhere that you can pick

[00:06:09] at it all day.

[00:06:10] So you don't do a sit down?

[00:06:12] You can, but you can just leave it on the table.

[00:06:14] You can come and go.

[00:06:15] I'm asking for you.

[00:06:15] No, probably not.

[00:06:16] You don't, really?

[00:06:17] No, we'll just have it there.

[00:06:18] Have some bevies.

[00:06:19] How about that?

[00:06:19] And you might make the kids sit down and eat so they eat at a specific time, but no, you

[00:06:22] just have it there all day.

[00:06:23] It's like on Christmas Day, we do all kinds of seafood at my house.

[00:06:26] This would do crab legs and lobster, but you just kind of like, we do egg rolls and

[00:06:31] crab rangoons.

[00:06:32] You just bring it out all day and just keep eating and sitting around the TV and play

[00:06:35] video games and watching movies with your kids.

[00:06:37] Sure.

[00:06:37] It's like the best.

[00:06:38] Sure.

[00:06:39] Yeah.

[00:06:39] Sure.

[00:06:39] Come on.

[00:06:41] Well, let's talk about Novel Noelle.

[00:06:43] I think we've done it off long enough.

[00:06:45] This is Brian's number one pick, most excited about movie of the year.

[00:06:50] Now, I will just say really quickly, we were watching this movie in the office and Erin

[00:06:56] came in.

[00:06:57] We had it paused and she immediately pointed at it and said, that's a Christmas movie magic

[00:07:02] card.

[00:07:02] That's a Christmas movie magic card.

[00:07:03] She did.

[00:07:04] That's true.

[00:07:04] So this is a game, this is a movie that the game still works for.

[00:07:07] For those of you that were wondering, this still works.

[00:07:12] This was on your...

[00:07:13] It does work.

[00:07:15] What's going on?

[00:07:15] See, not my first pick.

[00:07:16] No, no, no.

[00:07:17] Not...

[00:07:17] I'm sorry.

[00:07:18] We're two ships passing the night here.

[00:07:20] Not your first draft pick.

[00:07:22] In the kickoff episode, this was your number one pick.

[00:07:26] Yeah.

[00:07:26] This was most excited about.

[00:07:28] Yep.

[00:07:29] Maybe.

[00:07:29] Yeah.

[00:07:30] Yeah.

[00:07:30] I believe so.

[00:07:31] Maybe.

[00:07:31] I believe so.

[00:07:32] Yes.

[00:07:32] I'll trust you.

[00:07:33] Is it going to hurt him in the draft?

[00:07:35] Yes, it is.

[00:07:36] We'll see.

[00:07:38] Math is still out.

[00:07:40] Unless you can give it a hundred, which you've already put on the spreadsheet, then you're

[00:07:43] going to be in trouble.

[00:07:44] DeckTheHomeward.com slash game is what we're trying to say.

[00:07:46] Of course.

[00:07:47] And I think if you order it today, I think you'll still be in the clear for a majority of

[00:07:51] the movies.

[00:07:52] Yeah, but with all the movies you have on your Philo DVR, you can go back and you can play

[00:07:56] Christmas movie magic.

[00:07:57] It's no problem.

[00:07:59] One more?

[00:08:02] Well, I wish we didn't get that one.

[00:08:04] That's a mistake.

[00:08:05] It's on my...

[00:08:05] It's one too many.

[00:08:06] It's my vote.

[00:08:07] Everyone knows the fifth one.

[00:08:08] The fifth one's when you go over the top.

[00:08:10] No.

[00:08:11] No.

[00:08:12] Aaron just quit.

[00:08:13] Aaron Shay just quit.

[00:08:14] He just walked out.

[00:08:14] Oh, Sunny Scaries.

[00:08:15] It all makes sense.

[00:08:17] Different kind of scary.

[00:08:19] A novel Noel originally premiered on the Hallmark Mystery Channel on November.

[00:08:24] And in hell.

[00:08:25] Simultaneously?

[00:08:26] They got his double debut.

[00:08:28] Hell got the simulcast.

[00:08:29] That's right.

[00:08:29] Hell got the simulcast.

[00:08:30] Congrats.

[00:08:31] That's right.

[00:08:31] That's interesting.

[00:08:31] Yeah, yeah.

[00:08:32] All the CCB movies were gone.

[00:08:34] Do they project that?

[00:08:35] Yeah, I think they do.

[00:08:36] Interesting.

[00:08:36] You would think that the fire would cause some sort of...

[00:08:39] I mean, it's like a little bit of an ash backdrop.

[00:08:41] That's nice.

[00:08:41] Sounds nice.

[00:08:43] November 21st, 2024.

[00:08:44] And also apparently in hell.

[00:08:46] And it went a little something...

[00:08:47] Do they have it at a specific time or can they watch it whenever?

[00:08:49] I mean, I think it's around the clock.

[00:08:50] Around the clock.

[00:08:50] Yeah, they're showing it on a loop.

[00:08:52] But there's always a fire going.

[00:08:54] Harper works as a book publisher.

[00:08:58] Which seems like a little bit on the nose, her name being Harper.

[00:09:02] Yeah.

[00:09:03] One of the biggest publishing companies in the world is Harper Collins.

[00:09:06] Right.

[00:09:06] Whatever.

[00:09:07] If his name was Collins, then we'd have been...

[00:09:08] Oh, forget about it.

[00:09:10] About what?

[00:09:10] She asks her boss...

[00:09:12] Bossk.

[00:09:12] What am I talking about?

[00:09:13] My bossk.

[00:09:14] Her boss...

[00:09:15] Can I ask you a quick question?

[00:09:17] You've been practicing real hard?

[00:09:18] Say you don't bring a new saxophone?

[00:09:19] Yeah.

[00:09:20] The boss.

[00:09:22] Ten o'clock is coming to town.

[00:09:25] She asks her boss if she can take a month off.

[00:09:28] She's a little bit disappointed at the reviews of the latest book that they publish.

[00:09:32] At her lowest, she finds out that she got picked to run this bookstore for a month, the month of December, in this small town.

[00:09:41] Not only do you have to work for free, you also get to stay there.

[00:09:45] You stay at the upstairs.

[00:09:47] Five, your waiting list.

[00:09:48] She's been on the waiting list for five years.

[00:09:50] Yeah.

[00:09:51] For a reason that I don't understand, she's very excited about this opportunity.

[00:09:54] She shows up and meets the owner.

[00:09:57] His name is Sawyer.

[00:09:58] And she immediately begins to judge the fact that they sell wine at this bookstore.

[00:10:03] Can you believe it?

[00:10:04] Her whole thing is you either do one or the other.

[00:10:09] Erin, do you want to give your thoughts on this now?

[00:10:11] Or do you want to wait until the hot take?

[00:10:13] I'll chime in at the hot take.

[00:10:14] Hot take.

[00:10:14] All right.

[00:10:15] Thanks.

[00:10:15] She hates it.

[00:10:17] You just pour yourself another glass.

[00:10:20] The store isn't doing well.

[00:10:22] And he's considering selling it.

[00:10:24] They even have somebody who's interested in it.

[00:10:26] She has some ideas, though, such as, you know, events, after hours, giveaways that will drive people to purchase more things, etc.

[00:10:35] But Sawyer's like, no way, man!

[00:10:38] Your ideas suck!

[00:10:40] He does say that you can't host one of your silly little events if you beat me at reindeer games.

[00:10:47] It's pretty serious stuff.

[00:10:49] Turns out Sawyer is secretly a wannabe author.

[00:10:54] And she's like, I can help you.

[00:10:55] And he's like, help me!

[00:10:58] I'll see you in hell where this movie's playing on a loop.

[00:11:03] He's like, all right, give it a read.

[00:11:04] What do you think?

[00:11:05] And she's like, honestly?

[00:11:06] You want honesty?

[00:11:07] And he's like, yeah, I can handle it.

[00:11:11] She's like, honestly, what's going on with the couple here?

[00:11:14] You nailed it.

[00:11:15] But the romance stuff isn't as good as it could be.

[00:11:18] And he goes full like Mick Foley, brings out the tables, starts hitting her with a chair.

[00:11:26] He's real mad about this.

[00:11:27] But does put in the work.

[00:11:29] And after the next draft, she's like, I think this is really, really good.

[00:11:34] Yeah, it's great.

[00:11:35] Let me share it.

[00:11:36] The next day, she hands him a gift.

[00:11:39] And inside is his book printed out.

[00:11:42] And she says, it's getting published.

[00:11:45] That's right.

[00:11:46] And he's like, what?

[00:11:47] This is so quick.

[00:11:47] This is amazing.

[00:11:50] Incredible stuff.

[00:11:52] The store ends up selling.

[00:11:56] Somebody's interested in it.

[00:11:57] They want him to stay on, though.

[00:11:59] And he's like, no, I'm an author now.

[00:12:02] So take your store and shove it.

[00:12:06] He becomes a hot shot in the book world.

[00:12:11] And he's traveling all around Singapore, Hong Kong, Tokyo.

[00:12:18] What's the capital of Thailand?

[00:12:19] What's the capital of Bangkok?

[00:12:21] Then he shows back up one day and he finds Harper and is like, you know what?

[00:12:28] I realized that I can write from anywhere.

[00:12:32] And they kiss and they're going to spend the rest of the day at least together.

[00:12:37] And that, my friends, was a novel.

[00:12:47] Let's take a quick break.

[00:12:48] We'll come back and we'll get to a novel.

[00:12:50] Noelle, the hot takes and whatnot here on.

[00:12:52] Take the hallmark.

[00:13:02] Give me a K.

[00:13:04] What we can do is tell you that the best pastry in the world comes from Racine, Wisconsin.

[00:13:09] It's Racine Danish Kringles at Kringle.com.

[00:13:12] Right now, we're in a blitz.

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[00:13:37] It was a magical moment, Dan.

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[00:13:39] I think back to it fondly.

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[00:14:15] Hello, everybody.

[00:14:16] Welcome back.

[00:14:17] We're talking about a novel.

[00:14:18] I hate that.

[00:14:19] Man.

[00:14:19] We're talking about a novel Noel today.

[00:14:24] And we're going to break it down.

[00:14:25] We're going to start with?

[00:14:28] Hot take.

[00:14:28] The hot take.

[00:14:30] Inspired by our friends and family in hell.

[00:14:33] We're going to call this the hot take.

[00:14:34] That's right.

[00:14:35] We are going to share our hottest takes.

[00:14:37] We're not going to hold back.

[00:14:38] We're going to share our thoughts on this movie.

[00:14:40] And we're going to start with you, Brian.

[00:14:42] Brian.

[00:14:45] It feels like you went extra thick on the sarcasm.

[00:14:49] No.

[00:14:51] It felt personal.

[00:14:52] No.

[00:14:52] We're going to start with you, Brian.

[00:14:54] Brian, what did you think of your movie, A Novel Noah?

[00:15:00] If I could quote one of the greatest television characters I've seen in my lifetime, I've made a huge mistake.

[00:15:14] This is just okay for me.

[00:15:19] It's hard.

[00:15:20] It's hard for me to say that.

[00:15:22] Say that.

[00:15:23] It's just okay for Brian.

[00:15:24] It's like the worst movie of all time.

[00:15:26] It's hard to feel this way and to express how I feel.

[00:15:31] But he's got Julie Gonzalo.

[00:15:31] Are you kidding me?

[00:15:32] Julie Gonzalo.

[00:15:33] Try to find a bigger pen head than a bigger Julie Gonzalo stand.

[00:15:37] I can't find a bigger pen head.

[00:15:40] Even with the support I give to my friends there, this was just a tough watch for me, unfortunately.

[00:15:49] This is not going to help me in the draft.

[00:15:50] No.

[00:15:53] This is a real bummer for me.

[00:15:56] I thought, I really liked the idea of letting readers take over a bookstore and put their stamp on it for a month during Christmas time in Maine.

[00:16:06] Very cool idea.

[00:16:09] But the way this was done, there was nothing really good.

[00:16:14] When you get into the bookstore, it's like, what's special about this bookstore?

[00:16:18] What's special about this town?

[00:16:19] There was no mystique.

[00:16:21] There was no intrigue there.

[00:16:23] This is just a regular bookstore.

[00:16:25] He doesn't even want her there.

[00:16:27] Want to run the bookstore.

[00:16:29] Yeah, he doesn't want to run the store.

[00:16:30] He doesn't want her ideas.

[00:16:31] He wants no part of it.

[00:16:33] But I was like, he either should have been 100% against her being there and the bookstore and hated it.

[00:16:40] And his parents made him do it because they still own it.

[00:16:42] And he has to do it.

[00:16:43] He does it for them or whatever.

[00:16:45] Or he should have been all in on it and like, hey, let's make this place great.

[00:16:49] It's all you're running this place.

[00:16:50] I'll do whatever you want.

[00:16:51] And it was like in the middle.

[00:16:52] He's like, I don't like your ideas, but beat me in this race and we'll do it.

[00:16:56] It was just like, I don't know.

[00:16:58] So like not what I expected.

[00:17:01] I was expecting like a cozy Christmas bookstore.

[00:17:04] We didn't get that.

[00:17:05] The bingo card was a cool idea.

[00:17:08] And I like that.

[00:17:09] Oh boy.

[00:17:10] That whole thing.

[00:17:11] I just like, I was just not impressed.

[00:17:13] I was just like, what's the big deal about this town?

[00:17:15] And this guy's like confusing because he's not, he's not against her, but he's not helping her.

[00:17:21] I don't know.

[00:17:22] So it was not what I was looking for.

[00:17:25] So I was just kind of, kind of bummed out.

[00:17:27] And this is really going to hurt me.

[00:17:29] Your draft's done.

[00:17:30] Hurt you.

[00:17:31] If I'm not in last place, then it's a Christmas miracle.

[00:17:34] Yeah.

[00:17:35] Because I don't even know what brand gave this, but I can tell you what I gave it after he gives his hot take.

[00:17:39] Go ahead, brand.

[00:17:39] Um, so if you remember, Bri, one of the hurdles with this movie going into it, when we do our preview show, our kickoff and all the other things is this whole idea of winning a contest where you get to run a bookstore for a month.

[00:17:56] Yeah.

[00:17:56] And we were like, what is like, what is, what is that?

[00:17:59] Yeah.

[00:18:00] And my whole thing going into this is we've read a lot of bad synopses over the years during preview shows where it's like, hey, it'll sort itself out.

[00:18:10] It'll make sense.

[00:18:11] And typically that does come to some sort of fruition where it's like, hey, I understand what the synopsis writer was getting at here, but there's a more fleshed out thing here that they couldn't figure out how to write about it.

[00:18:30] That's not the case with this.

[00:18:33] No.

[00:18:33] The, the, the, the unfortunate thing about this movie, it, it is, and this is season seven, one of, if not the dumbest setup I've ever experienced.

[00:18:47] Yeah.

[00:18:48] That the, the way in which she gets to there to meet him is being on the waiting list for five years to go and work at a bookstore for a month for free.

[00:19:03] And you just live there.

[00:19:05] It's insane to me.

[00:19:07] And I thought maybe there would be something more to it, but there's not.

[00:19:12] And so that was a big hurdle for me is the fact that someone, not only is someone excited about this, apparently it's five year waiting list.

[00:19:24] It just is.

[00:19:25] It does not compute in my brain.

[00:19:28] Maybe it computes with your brain at home.

[00:19:31] And that wasn't a hurdle.

[00:19:32] It was a huge hurdle for me that somebody would do this.

[00:19:38] And I know it lined up perfectly with, Hey, you know, I, I'm not working for the next month anyway.

[00:19:44] I already took that off.

[00:19:45] So I have the month free.

[00:19:46] Why not go spend some time with books?

[00:19:49] Yeah.

[00:19:49] You know, I get to go explore a new place, but like you could do it anywhere.

[00:19:56] Anywhere.

[00:19:56] You could go anywhere.

[00:19:58] You could go to anywhere you want to and spend all the time that you want to at a bookstore and not working.

[00:20:06] And so that was the overarching, how do we get her to meet him was so insane to me that it would have had to take a lot for this movie to win me back over.

[00:20:21] And not only did it not do a lot, it didn't do anything because to your point, Brendan Penny's character Sawyer is the biggest B of all time.

[00:20:33] Just, we've this, this guy is just a whiny little baby, a whiny little baby.

[00:20:40] And I didn't like him.

[00:20:42] And I thought that the way that he got there was dumb.

[00:20:46] And so it is duking it out at the bottom with five golden rings for me.

[00:20:52] And Dan, we talked about it a little bit.

[00:20:54] I think when you last we spoke, you, you didn't have it at the bottom.

[00:20:58] I've got, I'm willing.

[00:21:00] Listen.

[00:21:00] But my thought process here was I also think that the premise of five golden rings is almost as dumb, especially when you throw in the fact that there wasn't actually five rings.

[00:21:12] It was four rings.

[00:21:13] And my mom made one to make it five.

[00:21:15] So it's duking it out there at the bottom.

[00:21:18] I'm not sure where I'm going to land quite yet, but real unfortunate.

[00:21:23] Real unfortunate.

[00:21:24] So Bran looked at me with 10 minutes left of this movie and he said, this is the worst movie of the year.

[00:21:28] And I tried to argue that it was not.

[00:21:31] And I got to be honest, sometimes, not often, but sometimes I just need to listen to Bran because this is like categorically the worst movie of the year.

[00:21:43] Five gold rings does have something that could be interesting.

[00:21:49] Like going and finding the owners of these rings while turns out to be really boring.

[00:21:56] And there's actually not five.

[00:21:57] There's four of them.

[00:21:58] Could like there's a private investigator.

[00:22:01] This is a movie where someone and I have to believe also, Bran, you said five year wait.

[00:22:06] I have to believe that it's not just this bookstore.

[00:22:08] I don't know if that's true, but I have to believe that this is something that you put on a wait list.

[00:22:13] Five rings of bookstores.

[00:22:15] That like there's bookstores everywhere.

[00:22:17] You can sign up for this.

[00:22:18] When a bookstore comes open, you get because this guy is trying to sell this bookstore.

[00:22:23] He hates his life and he hates anyone else's ideas.

[00:22:25] Why would he be like, come on in and tell me all your ideas?

[00:22:30] But one of the big perks is you get to work and stay right above it.

[00:22:33] Correct.

[00:22:34] Yes.

[00:22:34] So is it only bookstores with lodging attached?

[00:22:37] There's not a five year wait for a bookstore that's about to sell to an owner that might not continue this regardless.

[00:22:45] I got bad news.

[00:22:46] I think it was just this bookstore.

[00:22:47] Oh my gosh.

[00:22:48] That's how I...

[00:22:49] If it's just this bookstore, the movie's already the worst.

[00:22:52] Look, we rate these movies out of 10 for the draft.

[00:22:53] Right now it's at a one and it's descending.

[00:22:56] It is at a one of 10 and we're at the top of the iceberg.

[00:23:02] We're at the top of the hotel.

[00:23:03] This is getting worse.

[00:23:04] Yeah, it is the fact that...

[00:23:08] We're going to talk about this, but you brought it up, Brand.

[00:23:10] And I went on a mini rant while we were watching this movie.

[00:23:13] This guy who has been writing a novel his whole life has the good fortune of getting free employment at his bookstore

[00:23:24] that happens to be a book editor for one of the biggest publishers in the country.

[00:23:31] And his response is, how dare you try to change things?

[00:23:36] How dare you try to do anything different?

[00:23:39] And how dare you read my book and give me constructive criticism?

[00:23:44] You're the worst, man.

[00:23:45] You're the worst.

[00:23:46] You don't...

[00:23:47] No.

[00:23:47] No.

[00:23:48] No.

[00:23:48] No.

[00:23:49] This movie, any sort of whimsy or fun or magic or Christmas that would be involved for someone that loves books.

[00:23:57] When we did this movie in the preview episode and I said, this movie sounds like it sucks.

[00:24:01] There was a chorus of people, including our very own Aaron Shea, that was like, I love books.

[00:24:05] I'd love to get to spend Christmas at a cozy bookstore.

[00:24:08] And I, after we did the preview episode, I started thinking, you know what?

[00:24:12] That was silly of me to say.

[00:24:13] There's a group of people who this really works for.

[00:24:15] Not this movie.

[00:24:17] Not the way this is done.

[00:24:18] This is not some Parisian bookstore with all the trappings of an experience.

[00:24:24] This is a job for free with no perks, with zero perks, nothing to gain, everything to lose.

[00:24:34] What's the opposite of a perk?

[00:24:35] Because you have to deal with Sawyer.

[00:24:36] That's right.

[00:24:37] Including your money.

[00:24:39] You are losing money.

[00:24:40] You're losing time.

[00:24:41] You're losing energy.

[00:24:42] The town isn't cool.

[00:24:44] The bookstore isn't Christmassy.

[00:24:45] It is lose-lose across the board.

[00:24:48] And Bran's going to have a field day with you on bingo.

[00:24:50] And Bran's right on it.

[00:24:51] I like the idea of a secret Christmas checklist.

[00:24:54] I'll say that.

[00:24:55] That's the one glimmer of hope this movie has is a secret Christmas checklist, which they bungled at as well.

[00:25:04] This movie is a disaster.

[00:25:06] It is so bad.

[00:25:08] And the leads are quality humans and quality actors.

[00:25:11] And they are stuck in the purgatory that is this movie.

[00:25:16] Worst of the year.

[00:25:18] Five gold rings is better.

[00:25:20] Stand by it.

[00:25:21] What do you think about selling wine at a bookstore?

[00:25:25] I think it's a great marketing plan.

[00:25:30] If I'm going into a bookstore and I find a good book that I'm going to read that night, and then I turn around and you've got a selection of wines that I can also pick up to go enjoy at my house while I'm reading, you've just saved me a stop.

[00:25:42] And I'm going to come here all the time.

[00:25:44] It's one of the best perks of M. Johnson's here in the bookstore.

[00:25:47] Can I drink wine in the bookstore?

[00:25:48] In the bookstore, you can drink wine.

[00:25:49] Okay.

[00:25:49] So I work at a place called Cook Station here in Ringo.

[00:25:53] And that is their plan, too.

[00:25:55] There's a bunch of cooking stuff, cooking classes, cooking equipment, dishes, you know, fun little novelty things.

[00:26:01] But we also sell wine and you can drink the wine while you shop.

[00:26:05] Huh.

[00:26:05] Yeah.

[00:26:06] Crazy.

[00:26:06] And it's phenomenal.

[00:26:08] And I didn't watch this movie in its entirety, but I heard the scene where she starts complaining about it and was kind of like, I think I'm out on this movie.

[00:26:17] What?

[00:26:18] But M. Johnson hasn't watched the movie yet and she can tell you that it sucks.

[00:26:21] M. Johnson has a great coffee shop and bakery.

[00:26:24] M. Johnson also sells wine.

[00:26:25] How dare you have a wine bar?

[00:26:27] I got to be honest.

[00:26:28] But also, like, his whole thing is she walks in and she's like, you should do one thing and do it well.

[00:26:34] It's pouring.

[00:26:36] Yeah.

[00:26:36] You're not baking something from scratch.

[00:26:39] Like, I don't even think that's a good argument.

[00:26:42] But, like, you're.

[00:26:44] Yeah.

[00:26:45] Yeah.

[00:26:45] But I will say he loves wine.

[00:26:47] I will get to that in the way it was.

[00:26:48] Yeah.

[00:26:49] The one saving grace of this movie to me is that Brian also didn't like it.

[00:26:53] That literally, like, when I finished the movie, even before I finished it, I was like, if Brian comes in.

[00:26:58] Poor.

[00:26:58] That's right.

[00:26:59] Great job.

[00:26:59] File.tv.

[00:27:00] You're getting a show right now.

[00:27:01] Poor.

[00:27:02] If Brian comes in and raves about this movie, I'm going to.

[00:27:04] It's going to be full imposter syndrome.

[00:27:06] I'm going to have to question everything I know.

[00:27:08] But so that is the saving grace is that at least we all can recognize a bad movie.

[00:27:12] Because if Brian Harold says it's just OK for me, that means it is just terrible.

[00:27:17] So there's that.

[00:27:17] So you pour it.

[00:27:18] Pour it all the way up.

[00:27:19] You got a twist at the end.

[00:27:19] You need more or less than in that bottle.

[00:27:21] Go ahead.

[00:27:21] Knock it rolling out.

[00:27:22] There you go.

[00:27:22] Thank you.

[00:27:22] Very good.

[00:27:23] But do a little wrist twist.

[00:27:24] That's right.

[00:27:24] Yeah.

[00:27:24] You don't want to get on the side of the glass.

[00:27:26] Come on.

[00:27:27] Yeah.

[00:27:27] You did it.

[00:27:27] So it's more than pouring.

[00:27:28] There's a twist involved.

[00:27:29] There's a twist.

[00:27:30] Then you can't sell the books.

[00:27:32] Let's get to all the feels.

[00:27:34] Brian, anything in this movie make you go, oh?

[00:27:37] Yeah.

[00:27:37] Or something like that.

[00:27:38] Something did make me go, oh.

[00:27:40] When they found out that his manuscript.

[00:27:43] Oh, no.

[00:27:43] When they actually sent the manuscript to her boss, he opened up some champagne.

[00:27:48] They celebrated.

[00:27:49] And I thought, oh, that's a nice moment.

[00:27:51] You got to celebrate little wins.

[00:27:53] You got to celebrate the victories.

[00:27:54] Yeah.

[00:27:55] It's a good reminder.

[00:27:55] You don't know what's going to happen.

[00:27:57] But you still celebrate the excitement.

[00:27:59] And I thought that was a good reminder.

[00:28:00] Do you remember what made me go on in this movie?

[00:28:03] Nothing.

[00:28:03] Something happened.

[00:28:04] And I went, oh.

[00:28:05] And then I was mad at myself.

[00:28:06] Yeah.

[00:28:06] What was that?

[00:28:07] I don't remember.

[00:28:08] I don't either.

[00:28:09] It wasn't worth it.

[00:28:10] No.

[00:28:10] I will say, and this is actually a pretty funny moment.

[00:28:14] When, yes, it's when they find out that the publisher is going to publish the book.

[00:28:19] Yeah.

[00:28:20] And he like scoots in and they kiss.

[00:28:23] And I go, oh, that's a good kiss.

[00:28:25] And then Dan looks up.

[00:28:26] And I looked up for my notes.

[00:28:27] And it was a terrible kiss.

[00:28:28] It was a good initial.

[00:28:29] Relatively speaking.

[00:28:31] The initial kiss.

[00:28:33] Getting to the kiss.

[00:28:35] Getting to the kiss.

[00:28:35] More invested in the kiss than Brendan Penny was.

[00:28:37] Getting to the kiss was, like, I liked him scooting closer to her.

[00:28:42] There's some hand at.

[00:28:43] There's like.

[00:28:44] Are you going to finish that?

[00:28:45] No, no.

[00:28:46] Hand action.

[00:28:47] Nice catch.

[00:28:48] Nice catch.

[00:28:48] Nice catch.

[00:28:48] So, like, the initial getting to the kiss.

[00:28:53] I liked that moment.

[00:28:54] That was nice.

[00:28:55] And I thought for sure it was going to be interrupted.

[00:28:56] Which it was, but post kiss.

[00:28:58] And the kiss wasn't great.

[00:28:59] Kiss wasn't great.

[00:29:00] So there's that.

[00:29:01] Go ahead.

[00:29:01] Even his moment was not.

[00:29:03] Not even.

[00:29:04] Yeah.

[00:29:05] I mean, you know, we're not watching it anymore.

[00:29:08] So that's pretty good.

[00:29:09] Right?

[00:29:09] We're better now, right?

[00:29:11] Than we were earlier.

[00:29:12] Let's take a quick break.

[00:29:13] Unwrapping Christmas 4 better than this movie.

[00:29:15] Oh.

[00:29:16] There you go.

[00:29:16] Spoiler alert.

[00:29:17] That's all you need to know.

[00:29:18] That's right.

[00:29:19] The fourth unwrapping Christmas.

[00:29:21] The third unwrapping Christmas.

[00:29:21] Whenever that episode comes out.

[00:29:23] Spoiler alert.

[00:29:24] Spoiler.

[00:29:24] Put a shoe on that door.

[00:29:25] Next Friday.

[00:29:26] Next Friday.

[00:29:28] Really?

[00:29:29] That's far away.

[00:29:30] So like the Friday after all of the things.

[00:29:32] Like it's the first Friday.

[00:29:33] It comes out Black Friday.

[00:29:35] Oh, Black Friday.

[00:29:36] Okay.

[00:29:36] Yeah, yeah.

[00:29:36] So this coming Friday.

[00:29:37] Oh, great.

[00:29:38] So this coming out.

[00:29:38] Spoiler alert.

[00:29:39] Phew.

[00:29:40] All right.

[00:29:41] Let's do this.

[00:29:42] Let's take a break.

[00:29:43] I love that.

[00:29:43] We'll come back.

[00:29:44] We'll get to the way we won the Hallmark.

[00:29:45] You're on.

[00:29:45] Get the Hallmark.

[00:29:56] Bonzo, oui, oui.

[00:29:59] Sharkoolery.

[00:30:00] So pretentious.

[00:30:01] I know, right?

[00:30:02] It sounded like weirdly a little bit like Nickelback.

[00:30:06] They wish.

[00:30:07] Bonzo, oui.

[00:30:09] Look at charcuterie.

[00:30:12] Let's get to the way we won.

[00:30:13] Look at charcuterie was there.

[00:30:15] I mean, it's the same syllables as this photograph.

[00:30:18] I don't know.

[00:30:21] Let's get to the way we won.

[00:30:22] That's where we're talking about what in the two minutes go away.

[00:30:24] Why don't I start with you, Brian?

[00:30:25] Yeah.

[00:30:25] The big thing around this whole thing was with Sawyer and just not wanting the help, really.

[00:30:33] Oh, my gosh.

[00:30:34] Why are you doing this then?

[00:30:36] And it's so frustrating because it's like you're really taking the fun out of it for people who are watching because they're psyched that this idea that you get to go work in this magical bookstore for Christmas time.

[00:30:47] And he's just like a downer about everything.

[00:30:50] So it's like throws just a wet blanket on the whole movie right from the start.

[00:30:53] I get that some people aren't great with constructive criticism, and that's tough for them to hear, and they have to process it.

[00:31:00] I understand that.

[00:31:01] But if you've been working on a novel and you have a perfect—

[00:31:04] The dream.

[00:31:05] You and I are on the opposite end of that spectrum.

[00:31:07] You and I both are like, somebody tell us why this is a bad idea right now.

[00:31:10] You and I both live in that world where it's like, please rip this to shreds so I can knock it out of the park.

[00:31:15] Yeah.

[00:31:16] This guy, if you're going to take constructive criticism from someone, who better?

[00:31:21] Yeah.

[00:31:22] Who better?

[00:31:23] You've got it right there for free.

[00:31:25] What an unbelievable scenario situation for him.

[00:31:27] It's the worst development in any of these movies that I've seen this year for sure.

[00:31:31] Yeah.

[00:31:32] The only good thing about him getting so upset was that really quickly he turned around and realized how dumb he was being, and it didn't drag out for too long.

[00:31:40] But still, that's just ridiculous.

[00:31:41] It's ridiculous.

[00:31:42] Also, how do you invite—if you're managing the bookstore and you're taking what I assume there's like an application process, some type of formal process, how do you not know what she does?

[00:31:52] Yeah.

[00:31:52] Like, there's—you've got to have on this—

[00:31:54] It seems like a weird grab bag where you could get a criminal.

[00:31:56] Yes.

[00:31:57] If somebody really wanted to just kill some folks in a strange town, they just sign up for this, and five years later, they're just out there laying waste.

[00:32:04] Like, you've got to have some formal—like, what is—how does that happen?

[00:32:07] Yeah.

[00:32:07] That you don't know, like, who she is.

[00:32:09] And she wrote—so the bingo card thing.

[00:32:12] The bingo card, I think I'm more with you than you think I am.

[00:32:16] Yes.

[00:32:17] I like the idea of that.

[00:32:18] Yes, but it's not bingo is what—I don't want to take Brain's thing.

[00:32:22] No, right, right.

[00:32:22] That idea of doing that whole—but what she did with it, her friend who passed away made this for her last year.

[00:32:28] Recipe's obvious.

[00:32:29] Obviously.

[00:32:29] Yeah, of course.

[00:32:32] She's—she—I could never write all over that thing.

[00:32:34] Like, if that was from a friend of mine who made it for her—

[00:32:37] Wasn't it laminated where she can just erase it?

[00:32:38] I hope so.

[00:32:39] I think it was laminated with, like, a vis-a-vis marker.

[00:32:41] Oh, I hope so.

[00:32:41] I think that's what was going on there.

[00:32:42] Vis-a-vis.

[00:32:43] As soon as she started writing—

[00:32:45] Charcuterie.

[00:32:46] Look at this—

[00:32:46] Look at the charcuterie.

[00:32:48] So, yeah, her just write—if she was writing on it permanently and it couldn't be changed, that's a big way to what?

[00:32:54] Because you can't do that.

[00:32:55] I love the idea—

[00:32:56] It's not going to bring her back.

[00:32:58] Boom.

[00:32:59] Okay.

[00:33:00] Sorry.

[00:33:01] All right.

[00:33:04] Someone just had to give Brian—

[00:33:06] I know we're all down.

[00:33:06] Brian had to give Brian the hard truth there.

[00:33:08] We're not going to bring her back, Brian.

[00:33:11] There's a chance, though.

[00:33:12] You don't know.

[00:33:12] You don't know what kind of magic's in this movie.

[00:33:14] What if you didn't?

[00:33:14] What if you did it and it didn't work?

[00:33:16] Write that down.

[00:33:17] What a bit about a movie.

[00:33:18] But, I mean, I love the idea of this secret Christmas game that you're playing, and even more so in honor of your friend.

[00:33:23] Yes.

[00:33:24] But, Brian, if you're done, go ahead.

[00:33:26] Take it away, Brian.

[00:33:27] It's just not bingo.

[00:33:29] It isn't.

[00:33:34] You're not trying to get a row.

[00:33:36] You're not trying to get a row.

[00:33:37] It's this weird three rows of five, which I've never seen before.

[00:33:42] It's just not.

[00:33:43] You can't call it that.

[00:33:45] We all know what bingo is.

[00:33:47] Bingo is, for sure, the superior—

[00:33:48] It's your name, huh?

[00:33:49] The—

[00:33:50] Superior.

[00:33:50] No, what is it?

[00:33:51] The not superior.

[00:33:52] Inferior.

[00:33:53] The inferior Christmas movie game.

[00:33:55] Cannibalizing yourself, too.

[00:33:56] It's the great leveler.

[00:33:57] To Christmas movie magic.

[00:33:59] Charcutering all over yourself.

[00:34:04] Yeah.

[00:34:05] Bingo is a waste of your time.

[00:34:06] Where do you even get it?

[00:34:07] Bingo is so, like, a couple years ago, Christmas movie magic.

[00:34:09] Bingo is so lame-o.

[00:34:10] You know what I mean?

[00:34:11] But also, that's not what this—this is not.

[00:34:14] Yeah, sure.

[00:34:15] And I was even fine with it being, I believe, four and three.

[00:34:18] I was even fine with it not being a square if you just wanted to try to get a row.

[00:34:21] Yeah.

[00:34:21] She's just checking things off.

[00:34:22] Randomly.

[00:34:23] Calling it bingo is egregious.

[00:34:24] It's a checklist.

[00:34:25] Yeah.

[00:34:26] It's a checklist.

[00:34:28] Contest, maybe.

[00:34:29] How many can you get checked off?

[00:34:30] It could be a contest.

[00:34:31] Could be a contest.

[00:34:32] Not a bingo.

[00:34:33] They are so—for a store that's struggling and not doing well, they're so eager to not

[00:34:40] be at the store.

[00:34:41] Like, any chance they get where they can—like, the whole point of her coming in is to help

[00:34:46] with the store, and he's constantly like, you want to come with me?

[00:34:49] Yeah.

[00:34:49] You want to lock it up?

[00:34:51] Get out of here?

[00:34:52] We want to lock it up and we can go and do something?

[00:34:54] They don't want to be there.

[00:34:55] They don't want to be at the store, which might be one of the reasons why it's not doing

[00:35:00] well.

[00:35:01] Maybe just have regular hours.

[00:35:04] I don't know.

[00:35:05] Shout out Mayor Binky.

[00:35:07] Yeah.

[00:35:08] Just—that's all I have to say about that.

[00:35:09] Mayor Binky.

[00:35:10] Shout out.

[00:35:10] Mayor Binky.

[00:35:11] And last but not least—

[00:35:14] Nope.

[00:35:14] You know what?

[00:35:15] I'll save it for the home.

[00:35:15] Thank you.

[00:35:16] Go ahead, Dan.

[00:35:16] I love that.

[00:35:18] He calls the Reindeer Games not for the faint of heart and says she couldn't win one event

[00:35:25] if she tried.

[00:35:26] Just mean.

[00:35:26] Yeah.

[00:35:27] Cut to egg relay races and ring toss.

[00:35:31] Listen, you can either joke it up or you can say it's not serious.

[00:35:37] You can't do the thing that this movie—this is the encapsulation of this movie.

[00:35:41] They don't pick a lane and it's just kind of bleh and there.

[00:35:44] What are you talking about, bro?

[00:35:47] Like, and then they celebrate him as the five-time whatever winner of this?

[00:35:51] Bro, it's the games my kids play at field day in the first grade.

[00:35:54] Like, you can't do that.

[00:35:56] That's not—what are you doing?

[00:35:59] Just be a human being.

[00:36:01] Be better.

[00:36:03] I'm totally cool with having wine and books in the same place.

[00:36:06] I think it makes perfect sense.

[00:36:07] I think Aaron, you know, articulated that well.

[00:36:10] But I do want to point out that he knows wine far better than he knows books.

[00:36:17] His—the way he talks about wine—poured up, thank you—is sommelier level.

[00:36:23] Like, I think you're going to love this, hint of this, blah, blah, blah.

[00:36:26] It's okie finish.

[00:36:26] But when he talks about wine, that feels like it's his passion.

[00:36:30] When he talks about the bookstore, it's like somehow he got wrangled into a transmission shop through Amway.

[00:36:36] Like, he's talking about this thing that he's doing that's like books.

[00:36:40] Oh, my God.

[00:36:41] We got another buyer on the line.

[00:36:42] When he talks about wine, it's like he has nowhere to be.

[00:36:45] And all day to get there, maybe just do that.

[00:36:48] Like, pursue that.

[00:36:52] His line at the end of this movie, I figured out whether I'm in Tokyo or I'm in Singapore,

[00:36:58] I can write wherever I am.

[00:37:00] Are you stupid?

[00:37:02] Like, are you dumb?

[00:37:04] Like, buddy, you just—that one came—that one just flew into your funnel just now?

[00:37:13] Like, you, like, had to travel on multiple jets to realize, like, this keyboard's still a-clicking.

[00:37:22] Like, are you kidding me?

[00:37:23] Well, you took so much time off from writing.

[00:37:25] I think he just forgot.

[00:37:26] I don't even know.

[00:37:28] Gosh, man.

[00:37:29] He also says everyone strikes gold every once in a while.

[00:37:32] Fundamentally inaccurate.

[00:37:34] I've never.

[00:37:35] Right?

[00:37:36] Yeah.

[00:37:36] Like, some would say that Brandon and I struck—Brand and me struck gold with this podcast.

[00:37:41] We struck gold, and fair.

[00:37:43] Fair.

[00:37:44] But in actual striking gold, historically, and in metaphorically striking gold, the whole point of that is it doesn't happen often and not for everyone.

[00:37:56] Everyone strikes gold every once in a while makes it sound like—

[00:38:01] Yeah, every few years.

[00:38:02] It's pretty good.

[00:38:03] Per person, every few years.

[00:38:06] Right.

[00:38:06] Pretty commonplace.

[00:38:09] Maybe for him.

[00:38:11] At one point, he looks at her and says, not a lot of people have the courage to do what you did.

[00:38:16] What do you mean?

[00:38:17] Get on a five-year waiting list to work for free at a bookstore because you're a billionaire?

[00:38:23] Like, what do you mean?

[00:38:24] Tell me about the courage part.

[00:38:26] This is—no.

[00:38:28] No.

[00:38:29] No, no, no, no, no.

[00:38:31] And then also, for a movie that actually is more about his book than about the bookstore, I think you would even be willing to admit that.

[00:38:37] It's a novel, Noel.

[00:38:38] It's about his book.

[00:38:39] It's so cool that we never, ever have to hear what the book's about.

[00:38:42] Oh, man.

[00:38:43] This was brutal for me.

[00:38:44] The fact that we're supposed to be invested in this guy and his just passion for this novel, and literally, she's like,

[00:38:53] I love how you changed the ending, and I love how the two leads are more romantic.

[00:39:01] Now, like, guys, I just—it's absolutely unacceptable.

[00:39:06] It doesn't mean the bottom-of-the-barrel standard that is a Hallmark Christmas movie.

[00:39:12] I couldn't believe it, and I knew it drove you crazy.

[00:39:15] Yeah, the whole time.

[00:39:16] All that red on that paper, and we don't get a single one.

[00:39:19] Nothing.

[00:39:20] Nothing.

[00:39:20] Are you kidding me right now?

[00:39:21] And then I have one more, but Brant and I laughed about it, and I know Brant loved it,

[00:39:26] and I think it's going to be What the Hallmark, so I'm going to hold off, and if it isn't,

[00:39:29] then I'll add it to my list.

[00:39:30] This is involved with cruise ship?

[00:39:31] Yes.

[00:39:31] Yeah.

[00:39:32] Bingo.

[00:39:32] Yeah, here we go.

[00:39:33] This is an easy—

[00:39:34] Not bingo.

[00:39:34] It's a different game.

[00:39:35] It's not bingo.

[00:39:35] It's not bingo at all.

[00:39:36] Not bingo.

[00:39:37] But this is fantastic.

[00:39:38] Go ahead, Brant.

[00:39:39] It's time for What the Hallmark.

[00:39:40] I'll go.

[00:39:41] Yeah, please.

[00:39:41] I love it.

[00:39:41] Please do.

[00:39:42] So her parents show up unexpectedly, right?

[00:39:44] They knock on the door, and it's like, oh, my God.

[00:39:46] One of the best lines of all time.

[00:39:47] And then they walk in, and she's like, I thought you guys were on your cruise.

[00:39:50] And they're like, we disembarked one port early.

[00:39:53] And then they don't go any further with any sort of explanation as to how that helps get them there.

[00:40:02] And I know—

[00:40:05] We were talking, and we were like, hey, our port's coming up.

[00:40:11] Should we disembark one spot earlier?

[00:40:15] Should we—

[00:40:16] Is it an option?

[00:40:17] Do we know what was the cruise?

[00:40:19] Where were they going?

[00:40:21] It doesn't matter.

[00:40:21] It's just like—

[00:40:22] One port before they're stopped.

[00:40:23] The only thing I can figure is, like, maybe it's like an up-the-east-coast cruise.

[00:40:30] My compliments to the captain.

[00:40:32] We're disembarking a porter.

[00:40:33] We start in Miami.

[00:40:35] We're ending in Boston.

[00:40:37] Should we get off here at Turks and Caicos?

[00:40:39] I'm just saying, if it's going up the east coast, it's stop.

[00:40:42] You know, we got one day in Virginia, and then they just—they get off in Virginia.

[00:40:47] Then they're like, what if we just drive it?

[00:40:50] And we—instead of spending the next quick 12 hours—

[00:40:53] That had to be a place filler line.

[00:40:54] That's a place filler line that made the final cut.

[00:40:56] Listen, maybe I missed something.

[00:40:58] It's just fantastic.

[00:40:58] To where that would be the thing that—

[00:41:00] We disembarked a port early.

[00:41:01] We disembarked one port early.

[00:41:02] How many of you out there listening right now, just email us, message us if you've disembarked a port early during a cruise.

[00:41:08] And Sawyer's like, did you say port?

[00:41:10] And not because an emergency happened.

[00:41:13] Don't give me this like, well, our dog sitter said our dog, blah, blah.

[00:41:16] No.

[00:41:17] If you were just having a cruise, cruise time, a cruisy, cruise time, and you're like, should we just—should we pop off here and call us?

[00:41:24] Because they want—well, and the whole thing is we heard that you were going to be spending Christmas alone, and we didn't want you to be alone.

[00:41:30] I still don't know how you—what's the path?

[00:41:34] Yeah.

[00:41:34] How did this help?

[00:41:35] Couldn't have been quicker.

[00:41:36] Couldn't have been quicker.

[00:41:37] Then just like, hey, we're going to get to our destination.

[00:41:42] Are there weeks in between ports?

[00:41:43] Like, what do we do?

[00:41:44] Like, are they out like near Fiji?

[00:41:45] I think it was just like—

[00:41:46] Was Fiji the port?

[00:41:47] I don't know.

[00:41:48] I don't know.

[00:41:49] Whatever.

[00:41:49] All right, Brian, what do you got?

[00:41:51] Yeah, a huge one was, what is this story and what are those notes?

[00:41:55] Yeah.

[00:41:56] Like, what is that ending?

[00:41:57] Like, what's this—like, what is this?

[00:41:59] That was driving me crazy.

[00:42:00] Yes.

[00:42:00] Because I just wanted—like, give me just anything.

[00:42:02] It's almost like it's a bad movie.

[00:42:03] Like, yeah, they didn't even—I bet—I don't know.

[00:42:05] Do they know what his story was?

[00:42:07] Like, could anybody explain this to us?

[00:42:09] History or his story.

[00:42:12] History or his story is a Bramble Jam podcast.

[00:42:14] Nope.

[00:42:15] Okay, go ahead.

[00:42:15] South Carolina Public Radio for that.

[00:42:17] Shout out.

[00:42:17] If you're looking for something subpar.

[00:42:20] Yeah, that was driving me nuts.

[00:42:22] That's worse than when they don't tell you how much money is involved in things when they're like—

[00:42:27] You're up against it.

[00:42:29] So, that was it.

[00:42:30] It doesn't have headphones in.

[00:42:31] I don't hear anything that's going on.

[00:42:32] I hate that.

[00:42:33] I hate that for all of us.

[00:42:35] I happened to put my headphones in today.

[00:42:36] It's worked out well for me.

[00:42:38] Okay.

[00:42:38] Go ahead, Dan.

[00:42:39] I've got one, and it is who is organizing slash in charge of the Christmas sing-along at this bar.

[00:42:46] Yeah.

[00:42:47] Because when we start the scene—

[00:42:48] It's a hodgepodge beluga.

[00:42:49] It is a full-on hodgepodge beluga, and not the good kind.

[00:42:52] We've been a part of the good kind.

[00:42:55] Hodgepodge beluga!

[00:42:56] Hodgepodge beluga!

[00:42:58] We've been a part of the good kind.

[00:42:59] But the thing is, in this bar, we see this group of friends all singing a Christmas carol.

[00:43:05] And then the song stops, and then Brendan Penny basically goes,

[00:43:10] I've never seen a white Christmas.

[00:43:11] And then another dude goes, how am I friends with you?

[00:43:14] And he stands up and walks over the piano and starts playing jingle bells.

[00:43:18] And I don't know—the only thing that's—like, I don't want live music at a bar.

[00:43:25] A Christmas sing-along at a bar, I could get behind because it's a little bit different,

[00:43:29] and I could be down for that for, you know, an hour or two hours.

[00:43:32] But I can't get behind the hodgepodge beluga is we're all singing this together,

[00:43:36] or anybody can come up to the piano and play any song at any time whenever they want to.

[00:43:41] That was crazy to me.

[00:43:42] Who's in charge?

[00:43:43] I would like to know.

[00:43:45] We did it, everybody.

[00:43:46] Congratulations to us.

[00:43:47] It's the first of many.

[00:43:48] First of many this week.

[00:43:50] We are in a—

[00:43:50] Same number this week, from what I understand.

[00:43:52] Same number.

[00:43:53] It's a big week.

[00:43:54] Big week.

[00:43:55] Pack your bags for a big week.

[00:43:57] This is what I actually found out about seven days—like, when there's seven days in a week,

[00:44:01] if you do them all, it's the same as when you do them all the next time.

[00:44:06] We keep saying we have a big week every week.

[00:44:08] Every week's the same.

[00:44:09] There's an episode a day, guys.

[00:44:10] Every episode.

[00:44:11] Start your morning with DTH.

[00:44:12] We're not doing the port early thing.

[00:44:13] No, we're not disembarking up port.

[00:44:15] That's right.

[00:44:16] We're hitting every port.

[00:44:16] You got it.

[00:44:17] Not at all.

[00:44:17] So next week, when we review Touchdown Christmastime on Sunday—

[00:44:26] Touchdown Christmastime.

[00:44:27] It's still a big week.

[00:44:29] It's a big week.

[00:44:29] We're going to the following Sunday.

[00:44:31] That's right.

[00:44:32] Big week once again.

[00:44:32] So it's technically a week and a day to get to tonight.

[00:44:35] A big fortnight.

[00:44:36] We're disembarking a fortnight early.

[00:44:38] We're disembarking a day early.

[00:44:40] That's what we're trying to say.

[00:44:41] All right.

[00:44:42] We're going to be back.

[00:44:43] Hey.

[00:44:45] We're going to be back tomorrow with another one.

[00:44:47] Until then, maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas.

[00:44:50] Deck the Hallmark's a Bramble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shea.

[00:44:53] What?

[00:44:53] For more information on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to deckthehallmark.com.

[00:44:57] For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com.

[00:45:01] Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.

[00:45:03] For a free trial of Philo, go to philo.tv slash DTH.

[00:45:13] You're about to hear some ads.

[00:45:15] That helped keep the lights on here in the old studio.

[00:45:19] Thanks for listening.

[00:45:20] Or don't listen.

[00:45:21] It's really up to you at this point.

[00:45:23] It's at the end of the show.

[00:45:24] I mean, you're listening to me.

[00:45:26] Hi.

[00:45:27] But here they come.

[00:45:28] I promise they're coming.

[00:45:29] Yep.

[00:45:29] Here they are.

[00:45:30] Happy day.