All I Need for Christmas (Hallmark Mystery - 2024)

[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Brandon, I love Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Brian, I like Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Wow, wow, wow. It's cool to see you're still as invested in a theme song as you were years ago. I love it. People can't see it, but you guys can see it. I love it. I sing along every day.

[00:00:38] I sing it live every day. People don't know that. You do. You sing it live every day. I can't believe your throat's holding up. It's doing good. Hi, everybody. Welcome. We are one week away from Christmas Eve, one week away from our final episode of the season. We're one week away. That's amazing. That's crazy to think. I know what day it is and I know that I'm not tired at all. Brandon, are we just not going to talk about what happened at ChristmasCon this weekend? I just wanted to set the stage a little bit. I wanted to set the stage. We only have...

[00:01:07] We've watched the movies for the week. We only have two movies left. Thanks, Hallmark, for making us come in next week.

[00:01:13] Yep, yep. And I just... I can't believe it. It honestly feels like it was yesterday that we were in the Marathon House doing Real World and now here we are today only one week away.

[00:01:22] It feels that way to somebody.

[00:01:23] You think it's felt like a long season?

[00:01:25] Yeah.

[00:01:25] I feel like this season has flown by.

[00:01:26] Really?

[00:01:27] Yes.

[00:01:28] I don't know. Maybe it's because there haven't been like... The quality's all been kind of mid.

[00:01:33] Sure.

[00:01:33] You know, it's just been in the middle there.

[00:01:35] Sure.

[00:01:35] So I don't know.

[00:01:36] Mid as the kids say.

[00:01:37] As the kids say.

[00:01:38] Look at you. You're so cool.

[00:01:39] So cool. I'm giving mid.

[00:01:40] Yeah.

[00:01:41] Yeah, you are.

[00:01:42] But yes, ChristmasCon was nuts and I wanted to wait to talk about it for a reason.

[00:01:49] I do feel like I owe an apology.

[00:01:53] You owe several.

[00:01:55] Yeah.

[00:01:55] I mean...

[00:01:56] Where are you going to start?

[00:01:57] Yeah.

[00:01:57] The first is you bet...

[00:02:00] Who was that you bet with the Christmas Movie Magic game?

[00:02:02] You made a wager.

[00:02:03] Yeah.

[00:02:04] And you got to pay up.

[00:02:05] I don't even know how you're going to go about paying that up.

[00:02:07] But you got to pay it up.

[00:02:08] Yeah?

[00:02:09] Yeah.

[00:02:10] But we sold out of Christmas Movie Magic.

[00:02:11] Casino could help.

[00:02:12] That was a pretty good day.

[00:02:13] At this point...

[00:02:14] But you can still get it online.

[00:02:15] You can still get it online.

[00:02:15] You can still get it online.

[00:02:16] You could order it today.

[00:02:18] And I feel fairly confident that Jeff and the team over there at Amazon will get it over

[00:02:25] there to your house before Christmas Eve.

[00:02:28] I think you'll have it.

[00:02:29] So you can still play it with your family.

[00:02:32] And I think that's very nice.

[00:02:34] Imagine if this...

[00:02:35] You know how they do a big deal out of the last package delivered on Christmas Eve?

[00:02:38] Imagine if it were a Christmas Movie Magic delivered.

[00:02:41] Do they do that?

[00:02:42] They make a big deal of it?

[00:02:43] Yeah.

[00:02:43] To who?

[00:02:44] Just online.

[00:02:45] You can just find it online.

[00:02:46] You can find it online?

[00:02:48] The last package.

[00:02:48] Can you do it?

[00:02:49] Find online what the last package last year...

[00:02:52] But that's going to be dependent on where?

[00:02:53] On locale, right?

[00:02:54] It's always going to be Hawaii.

[00:02:55] I was about to say, there's no way they can actually...

[00:02:58] No.

[00:02:58] It's nothing like that.

[00:03:00] Isn't Hawaii always the last to get Christmas?

[00:03:03] Like the last package that this driver delivers.

[00:03:06] Is that what you mean?

[00:03:07] Mike?

[00:03:07] No.

[00:03:08] The last package Christmas delivery on Christmas Eve before it's done.

[00:03:13] That's always going to be Hawaii, right?

[00:03:14] What if they finish early in Hawaii?

[00:03:16] What if everybody's on top of it and gets all their stuff early?

[00:03:19] Australia doesn't stand a chance.

[00:03:21] You don't know.

[00:03:22] We're not.

[00:03:23] Ours...

[00:03:24] Okay.

[00:03:24] How about this?

[00:03:25] Yeah.

[00:03:26] We find the place where the last package will be delivered.

[00:03:32] Yes.

[00:03:32] We order one every day to that house.

[00:03:36] Yeah.

[00:03:37] And make sure...

[00:03:38] You know what?

[00:03:38] Like if we can think about...

[00:03:40] We're going to crack this.

[00:03:41] What's the town...

[00:03:41] What a stunt.

[00:03:42] What a stunt we can pull.

[00:03:43] What is the town that is last to turn over the clocks?

[00:03:47] You know what I mean?

[00:03:48] Yeah.

[00:03:48] Right.

[00:03:49] Yeah.

[00:03:49] Yeah.

[00:03:50] Yeah.

[00:03:50] Yeah.

[00:03:50] And again, I don't know how many people care about this.

[00:03:53] We crack the last delivery on Christmas Eve.

[00:03:56] The fact that neither of us had heard about it until now tells you that this is a waste of

[00:04:00] But maybe, you know, he's always trying to find ways not to hang out with his family,

[00:04:03] so he could be reading the news.

[00:04:05] Yeah, that's true.

[00:04:05] That's true.

[00:04:06] That's true.

[00:04:06] You and I, we're invested.

[00:04:07] I mean, do I have to hit the road Christmas Eve?

[00:04:09] Yeah.

[00:04:09] Through Christmas Day?

[00:04:10] Oh, man.

[00:04:10] I'll do it.

[00:04:10] Don't threaten me with a good time.

[00:04:12] That's right.

[00:04:12] That's exactly right.

[00:04:13] All right.

[00:04:14] While you're looking that up, if you can find it.

[00:04:17] Finding a lot of hateful things, actually, instead of the positive things.

[00:04:20] Oh, really?

[00:04:21] So I'll keep digging.

[00:04:22] Okay.

[00:04:22] You keep on digging.

[00:04:23] But yes, I do apologize to everybody that I hurt, offended, and owe money to at Christmas

[00:04:29] Con.

[00:04:29] So I'm in.

[00:04:30] I apologize for that.

[00:04:31] And hi to everybody who watched us on Good Morning America yesterday.

[00:04:35] That was a ton of fun.

[00:04:36] Oh, yeah.

[00:04:37] And so we're having a great time.

[00:04:38] We're having a great time.

[00:04:39] What a time to be alive.

[00:04:40] And hopefully you are also having a wonderful time this holiday season.

[00:04:43] If you would like to watch the show, if you're listening and you're like, I bet these

[00:04:46] guys look good.

[00:04:47] We don't.

[00:04:48] We don't.

[00:04:49] But it is a fun show to watch.

[00:04:50] You can watch this exclusively on Philo.

[00:04:52] You'll never know till you try them.

[00:04:54] Philo.tv slash DTH.

[00:04:55] The show is there.

[00:04:56] And you can watch it.

[00:04:57] But you can also watch all these movies, including what we're talking about today, All I Need

[00:05:01] for Christmas.

[00:05:07] The final Hallmark Mystery Movie of the year.

[00:05:09] Still got one more, everybody.

[00:05:10] Just don't.

[00:05:11] Don't you worry.

[00:05:12] December 12th, 2024.

[00:05:14] And it went a little something like this.

[00:05:16] The movie kicks off by really showcasing the heck out of an acoustic guitar.

[00:05:21] They couldn't have had more shots of this acoustic guitar if they tried.

[00:05:24] We're in a bar and a woman is singing a lovely version of Here We Come a Wassailing.

[00:05:29] Her name is Maggie.

[00:05:30] And she announces that she is about to do a show in Chicago.

[00:05:35] In Chicago.

[00:05:35] And open for Dalton Blake.

[00:05:39] Oh my God.

[00:05:39] Dalton Blake.

[00:05:40] I know.

[00:05:41] Nothing could go wrong for Maggie at this point in time.

[00:05:44] That is until her manager shows up and tells her that the big opening gig, the one with

[00:05:49] Dalton Blake, it's off.

[00:05:50] And so that's unfortunate.

[00:05:52] However, he does give her a new phone with all the fancy apps that she could possibly need

[00:05:57] to really make her career go from here to there.

[00:06:01] And this is a special phone because it's got the apps.

[00:06:03] That's exactly right.

[00:06:04] And then she responds, nah, I got my reliable flip phone right here, buddy.

[00:06:09] With no reason to stay in Chicago, she hops in her old van and heads home to Ed's Christmas

[00:06:15] Tree Farm.

[00:06:16] It's a family run lot and her parents are thrilled to have her back.

[00:06:21] Cut to New York City.

[00:06:22] We see two siblings sitting in a law firm room.

[00:06:27] What do you call those?

[00:06:29] Law?

[00:06:29] Conference room?

[00:06:30] Maybe a boardroom?

[00:06:31] A conference room?

[00:06:31] There's so many words.

[00:06:32] They're with a lawyer.

[00:06:33] They're with a lawyer.

[00:06:34] Yeah.

[00:06:34] Lawyers there.

[00:06:35] And they clearly have a little bit of distrust for one another.

[00:06:40] Their dad just recently died and the lawyer is laying out what is in the will.

[00:06:45] And one item in particular catches their attention.

[00:06:47] A board seat for the business that is going to go to whichever sibling has a higher net worth

[00:06:55] at Christmas.

[00:06:59] Duh.

[00:07:02] Duh.

[00:07:03] His name is Archer and her name is Piper.

[00:07:06] They didn't have a normal childhood and they only had one Christmas with a Christmas tree

[00:07:12] and he has a picture of it.

[00:07:14] And that picture was taken out front of Ed's Christmas Tree lot.

[00:07:19] Back at that lot, Maggie's best friend asks her to consider directing the Christmas play.

[00:07:25] Okay.

[00:07:26] We'll see.

[00:07:27] Archer is staring at this picture and decides to search for this lot to see if it's still

[00:07:32] around.

[00:07:32] It is.

[00:07:33] So he heads there.

[00:07:34] He rents a cabin in the area and heads to the lot.

[00:07:37] When he arrives, he tells Maggie's mom that he wants a tree for the first time as an adult.

[00:07:42] She encourages him to cut down his own and suggests that he goes and does that with Maggie.

[00:07:48] It turns out that he runs a company, the company, that created all those fancy apps that

[00:07:55] she hates.

[00:07:56] When she finds out, she turns on him very quickly and tells him to get lost.

[00:08:02] But when she learns from her manager that she can't book any gigs because she's just so

[00:08:07] boring, he doesn't know anything about apps.

[00:08:11] She goes to apologize.

[00:08:12] She is shocked to find him putting the Christmas tree outside in a tub of water because he just

[00:08:18] doesn't know.

[00:08:19] He doesn't know.

[00:08:19] He doesn't know trees.

[00:08:21] He doesn't know tree.

[00:08:22] When she asks about his family, he avoids the question and gives her baked goods.

[00:08:27] Maggie begins to open up about her failing career as an artist and how her manager is pushing

[00:08:33] her to embrace the apps.

[00:08:35] Archer says, I think it's important to have a balance, you know?

[00:08:38] Not all app.

[00:08:41] Sometimes you got to do some stuff yourself sometimes.

[00:08:45] But maybe it's not all bad.

[00:08:47] The next day, Piper and her kids show up.

[00:08:49] They had the same exact idea to go to the Christmas tree lot.

[00:08:52] The kids join the Christmas play and Archer gives them a tutorial on his cool app.

[00:08:57] Maggie realizes, oh, that app's actually kind of cool.

[00:09:01] Maybe I should play around with that.

[00:09:03] But Maggie and her family starts inviting Archer and his family to all of the Christmas activities

[00:09:10] and they are all loving it.

[00:09:11] The next day, Archer has an idea for a new app and wants to talk to Maggie about it.

[00:09:16] It is a live streaming app.

[00:09:18] We can live stream performances, raise money and whatnot.

[00:09:22] And wants Maggie to be on the test stream thinking maybe we could test stream the Christmas

[00:09:28] concert thing or whatever.

[00:09:30] There's still a lot to be figured out, but she's interested in it.

[00:09:33] Well, Maggie's dad hears about this idea and he takes to his social media, which he just

[00:09:40] started, and talks about how his daughter is going to be on the first stream of this app.

[00:09:45] That video goes viral, obviously, which causes Archer's net worth to rise.

[00:09:53] I hate that.

[00:09:54] When Piper finds out, she thinks that the only reason you're being nice to me is because

[00:10:00] you knew that your net worth was going to rise.

[00:10:02] You're going to sleep in the back.

[00:10:03] And so she leaves with the kids.

[00:10:05] Archer has a heart-to-heart with Maggie and the sparks are flying, but she gets a call from

[00:10:10] her old manager and considers going back to work with him.

[00:10:13] And Archer thinks it's a bad idea and tells her that she's better than that guy.

[00:10:18] It's the night of the big Christmas play, and they're going to live stream it on the

[00:10:22] app.

[00:10:22] Piper shows up with the kids and they make up and agree to sit on the board together.

[00:10:28] We love to see it.

[00:10:29] Another split board situation.

[00:10:30] One chair.

[00:10:30] Two seats.

[00:10:32] That's right.

[00:10:32] We know it well.

[00:10:33] Mrs. Miracle, in fact.

[00:10:34] Just as the performance is about to start, the power goes out.

[00:10:37] And that's nothing for some small town charm.

[00:10:40] They all pitch in to make sure that the performance can go on.

[00:10:42] They manage to get the power back on and the show is a hit.

[00:10:46] The kids sing.

[00:10:47] And then it's Maggie's turn because everybody knows the way that you close out a kid's concert

[00:10:51] is with an adult performance.

[00:10:52] She crushes it and the app loves her.

[00:10:56] Afterwards, she gets off the stage.

[00:10:57] Maggie makes up with Archer and they share a kiss.

[00:11:00] And that, my friends, was all I need for Christmas.

[00:11:05] We did it.

[00:11:08] We did it.

[00:11:09] Let's take a quick break.

[00:11:09] We'll come back.

[00:11:10] We'll talk about this movie with four segments.

[00:11:11] See you, Ron.

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[00:13:08] Hi, everybody.

[00:13:09] How are you?

[00:13:10] Good.

[00:13:10] I'm doing great.

[00:13:11] I'm doing well.

[00:13:12] Brad, what were you supposed to do at Christmas Con?

[00:13:14] Like, you were caught up.

[00:13:15] I was caught up in the...

[00:13:15] What are you going to do?

[00:13:16] Anybody would have done the same.

[00:13:18] So I feel like a little grace.

[00:13:19] I feel like I should have handled myself better.

[00:13:21] You were swindled.

[00:13:21] But I mean, like, in that situation, we all knew you were going to go whole hog.

[00:13:24] You were going to do it.

[00:13:26] That's all he knows.

[00:13:27] I'm sorry.

[00:13:27] Whole hog brand.

[00:13:28] That's what we call him brand.

[00:13:29] They call me whole hog.

[00:13:30] Trying Krusty Bryant.

[00:13:30] All right.

[00:13:31] Let's get to the hot take.

[00:13:32] It's where we share our thoughts on this movie.

[00:13:35] We do not hold back.

[00:13:37] And I'm going to start with you, Brian.

[00:13:38] It's a callback to something people want.

[00:13:41] That's right.

[00:13:42] We know how to get new fans here.

[00:13:44] We're so good at it.

[00:13:45] Now they're wondering.

[00:13:45] Dry and Krusty.

[00:13:47] What did you think about this movie?

[00:13:49] You know, this is our...

[00:13:50] What is it?

[00:13:50] 30, 38th?

[00:13:51] 300th?

[00:13:52] 30th?

[00:13:52] 39th?

[00:13:53] Whatever movie it is.

[00:13:54] What did you think about this one?

[00:13:55] This one, I thought, was just all right.

[00:13:58] Just all right.

[00:13:59] It does sort of commit that cardinal sin for me.

[00:14:03] It was a little tad boring.

[00:14:04] A little tad, you think?

[00:14:06] A wee bit boring.

[00:14:06] A little tad.

[00:14:07] A little bit.

[00:14:08] I wanted more tech.

[00:14:09] I wanted more music.

[00:14:10] I wanted...

[00:14:11] You wanted more tech.

[00:14:13] Yeah.

[00:14:13] I wanted more tech talk.

[00:14:14] You know what I wanted?

[00:14:15] I thought for sure we were going to get some talk about data and tech music stuff.

[00:14:22] Like, hey, you know what performs really well on our platform is this, this, this.

[00:14:27] I would have loved that.

[00:14:28] That would have been a lot of fun for me.

[00:14:29] A little bit of tech talk.

[00:14:30] It would have been a lot of fun.

[00:14:30] It would have been less boring for you to get that information.

[00:14:33] I would have been interesting.

[00:14:34] I would have been intrigued.

[00:14:35] Okay.

[00:14:35] And there would have been...

[00:14:36] Like, he was...

[00:14:37] Dan Janot's...

[00:14:38] He's a good guy.

[00:14:39] You cannot even try to pretend that he's going to try to pull one over on anybody.

[00:14:44] Yeah.

[00:14:44] I don't believe that.

[00:14:45] Dan Janot.

[00:14:45] Dan Janot.

[00:14:45] He's not.

[00:14:46] He's Janot going to do it.

[00:14:48] He's Janot going to do it.

[00:14:52] There's no way.

[00:14:55] So, I don't know.

[00:14:56] It was just a little boring.

[00:14:57] I wanted more music.

[00:14:57] I wanted some real performing.

[00:14:59] I wanted some music streaming data.

[00:15:02] Information would have been great.

[00:15:04] Kids, 100% underutilized.

[00:15:06] In this case, this very specific case, pro-child labor.

[00:15:11] More kid scenes, more kid talking, more kid acting.

[00:15:14] Yeah.

[00:15:15] It's a weird way to say it.

[00:15:16] It's just a weird way to say it.

[00:15:17] Well, yeah.

[00:15:18] Yeah.

[00:15:18] Sure.

[00:15:18] But that's what it boils down to.

[00:15:19] For me, the Ed's Piglet concept...

[00:15:22] I thought, what a cool little thing to introduce.

[00:15:26] I thought, for sure, she was going to start writing little jingles for his videos.

[00:15:30] They were going to go viral.

[00:15:32] She just made fun of him the whole time.

[00:15:33] That's it.

[00:15:33] Didn't happen.

[00:15:34] She just made fun of him the whole time.

[00:15:34] That's how money gets made.

[00:15:36] Music is discovered on social media when it's used in funny videos.

[00:15:40] That's how it works.

[00:15:41] Why didn't they do that?

[00:15:42] TikTok.

[00:15:42] Yeah.

[00:15:43] Why didn't they do that?

[00:15:44] It was right there.

[00:15:45] She could have just played a guitar, came up with a jingle.

[00:15:47] It gets used by other people.

[00:15:49] Just totally missed that one.

[00:15:51] So, yeah.

[00:15:52] Just a little boring.

[00:15:53] Wanted a lot more out of it.

[00:15:54] So, just teetering on okay.

[00:15:56] Teetering on okay.

[00:15:57] This is an interesting movie.

[00:16:00] I haven't seen a movie this anti-tech in a long time.

[00:16:04] And honestly, it was refreshing.

[00:16:06] It's great to be back.

[00:16:08] Because Old Hallmark had a wonderful streak of movies where they would introduce a tech that exists in real life, but they worry that their viewers don't know it.

[00:16:22] So, they dumb it down.

[00:16:23] But they dumb it down in such a way to where it just doesn't make any sense to anyone, much less.

[00:16:29] So, it's like no longer the thing that it's trying to be, but it's so bad it's not a thing that could ever exist.

[00:16:36] And that's kind of what we get with this.

[00:16:38] It is clear what they were trying to do with this tech.

[00:16:41] They're kind of messing around with AI.

[00:16:44] They're messing around with the TikToks.

[00:16:46] To your point, that's how people are discovering music these days.

[00:16:49] And they say people don't know that.

[00:16:51] They don't know that.

[00:16:52] So, let's just like have a phone and on the phone, it's pre-programmed, ready to go.

[00:17:01] Ton of different apps that all do one specific thing.

[00:17:05] And I think people will understand the whole idea here.

[00:17:08] So, it's good to be back.

[00:17:11] Because that gummit, that was dumb.

[00:17:14] And I loved it.

[00:17:16] The minute that manager handed her a phone with apps on it and she said, I don't need to.

[00:17:21] I've got flip phone.

[00:17:23] I knew I was in for a good time.

[00:17:27] I thought these two leads were swell together.

[00:17:29] Great to see our guy, Dan.

[00:17:30] A good year for Dan.

[00:17:32] Good year for Dan.

[00:17:33] What is his movie number?

[00:17:34] He's on the Danube.

[00:17:35] He's in Jane Austen.

[00:17:36] He's all over the place.

[00:17:36] I think he's one and more, too.

[00:17:38] I think this might be number four.

[00:17:39] It could be if there's three.

[00:17:39] But a great year for Dan.

[00:17:41] Always love seeing him on there.

[00:17:44] I said this earlier, and I'm so proud of this.

[00:17:46] I'm going to say it here.

[00:17:46] Dan Janot's the Tyler Hines of Corey Seviers.

[00:17:49] And everyone can just sit with that.

[00:17:51] And do what they want with it.

[00:17:52] Yeah.

[00:17:53] Corey Sevier ends up in these terrible movies, but he's a good dude.

[00:17:57] And Dan Janot is the better looking, more charming.

[00:18:02] He's the Tyler Hines of Corey Seviers.

[00:18:03] That's who he is.

[00:18:04] Do what you owe that.

[00:18:05] Yeah.

[00:18:06] This movie has no right to be.

[00:18:09] He's been in four.

[00:18:10] Yes.

[00:18:10] Four.

[00:18:10] Hey, how about that?

[00:18:11] Falling in love in Niagara.

[00:18:12] That's right.

[00:18:13] Sense and sensibility.

[00:18:14] Oh, the mural.

[00:18:15] Love on the Danube and this bad boy.

[00:18:17] Yeah.

[00:18:18] So this movie, I know Dan's going to hate it.

[00:18:24] I know that Brian, I knew where he was going to be.

[00:18:27] And I knew that I would be the one.

[00:18:28] You knew where Brian was going to be.

[00:18:29] Yeah.

[00:18:30] And I knew that this would be the one where I'm just like, I liked it way more than I

[00:18:34] had any right to.

[00:18:35] This is the one for that.

[00:18:36] I find the charm in it.

[00:18:38] And so do what you will with that.

[00:18:41] Is this year's Letters to Santa for you?

[00:18:43] No, it's not.

[00:18:43] You know, you love that movie and that movie is worse than this.

[00:18:45] It's not.

[00:18:46] This isn't going to leapfrog like some of the other movies have that are, you know.

[00:18:53] Better.

[00:18:53] Better.

[00:18:55] How do you say?

[00:18:56] But I enjoyed myself with this and I'm always going to kind of be happy when, you know,

[00:19:02] these old, old Hallmark tropes get played.

[00:19:05] And so I was here for every second of it.

[00:19:08] Danube.

[00:19:09] Yeah.

[00:19:09] This movie sucks.

[00:19:11] You people are talking about smartphones in this movie like they weren't invented 20 years

[00:19:16] ago.

[00:19:17] I swear to you, it's not one scene with a phone that's pre-programmed.

[00:19:21] They talk about smartphones all movie long in this movie like it is something that the

[00:19:27] majority of the U.S.

[00:19:29] population doesn't have, doesn't know how to use.

[00:19:31] My parents are 72 years old.

[00:19:34] They, they both have iPhones and use them pretty well.

[00:19:41] I just, it's very hard to get over that hump of just like, I don't care what small town

[00:19:48] you're in.

[00:19:48] Everybody has smartphones now.

[00:19:50] Uh, that was tough.

[00:19:52] The sister stuff was real bad in this movie.

[00:19:54] I never felt like Dan Janot and his sister were estranged.

[00:19:58] We're supposed to think that they're estranged.

[00:20:01] I've seen a strange sisters have to talk to each other and be in the same room.

[00:20:05] It doesn't look like these two characters at all.

[00:20:07] I never bought that for a second.

[00:20:10] More dead parents.

[00:20:11] I've just reached my quota.

[00:20:13] I reached my quota a month ago, but here we are still killing parents.

[00:20:17] Every single movie.

[00:20:18] It feels like I'm just over it and done with it.

[00:20:21] Uh, the music in this movie isn't good for a lot of reasons.

[00:20:27] The app that he describes makes little sense to me.

[00:20:31] And then the performance at the end, I have questions galore.

[00:20:34] This is really bad.

[00:20:36] It isn't bottom five bad, but that's, that's more of a testament to how bad the movies have

[00:20:40] been than it is this movie.

[00:20:42] The best Hallmark mystery movie so far for me, Christmas under the lights.

[00:20:46] That's how bad the Hallmark mystery movies have been.

[00:20:49] So there you have it.

[00:20:50] Uh, let's get to all the feels when we're talking about what.

[00:20:52] I do see how Brian liked it though.

[00:20:53] I, I, that doesn't surprise me a bit.

[00:20:55] Uh, let's get to all the feels when we're talking about what this movie.

[00:20:57] It's a phone pre-programmed with all the music apps.

[00:20:59] I don't know what to say.

[00:20:59] I don't know.

[00:21:00] You're speaking brain language.

[00:21:01] My hands are tied.

[00:21:02] Yeah.

[00:21:02] I don't, I mean, my, it was decided before it even began.

[00:21:06] Uh, Brian, what did this movie gave you feels?

[00:21:08] Her family house.

[00:21:09] I thought it was super cozy, decorated phenomenally.

[00:21:13] They had a wall phone there that you just take up.

[00:21:16] People call it a house.

[00:21:17] Got a house phone.

[00:21:18] What year does this movie take place?

[00:21:19] Do you think?

[00:21:19] Ooh, 2002?

[00:21:21] Three?

[00:21:22] Wow.

[00:21:22] I mean, iPhone came out in 07, I believe.

[00:21:24] It's gotta be around there early.

[00:21:26] That's the only way this makes sense.

[00:21:27] It's yeah.

[00:21:28] So that house was.

[00:21:29] I didn't, they could have filmed the whole movie.

[00:21:31] But it has to be after that because of all of the custom app.

[00:21:33] Like.

[00:21:33] Right.

[00:21:34] The text is advanced.

[00:21:35] It isn't.

[00:21:35] It takes place in 2024.

[00:21:37] Yeah, I know, but it can't.

[00:21:38] It's supposed to take place in 2024.

[00:21:40] It should.

[00:21:41] I mean, like, you're right.

[00:21:42] Cause it's, they're utilizing a lot.

[00:21:44] Oh, the other thing.

[00:21:45] Now you're in your field.

[00:21:45] But like.

[00:21:46] Yeah, it's fine.

[00:21:46] The, the pigs are the best part of this movie.

[00:21:48] Oh, yeah.

[00:21:49] The piglets?

[00:21:50] Yeah.

[00:21:50] We love piglets.

[00:21:51] And you just don't get near enough of that in this movie.

[00:21:53] No.

[00:21:54] Well, the pig, you think the child labor laws are bad.

[00:21:56] The pig labor laws are bad.

[00:21:58] The pig union?

[00:21:58] Oh, my gosh.

[00:21:59] Man.

[00:21:59] They can be on set for 30 minutes a day.

[00:22:01] That's it.

[00:22:01] That's right.

[00:22:02] They are smart much.

[00:22:03] Four oinks.

[00:22:03] They get four oinks a day on set.

[00:22:05] Once you get past, if they, they utter a fifth oink, you're going to say that for

[00:22:10] weeks.

[00:22:11] Yeah.

[00:22:11] You're in trouble.

[00:22:11] If there's a politician supporting raising up the labor laws for pigs, I'm all in on that.

[00:22:16] I don't care who it is.

[00:22:17] I think you could easily go 12 oinks.

[00:22:19] You think you can go from four oinks to 12?

[00:22:21] Well, you say 12 and then you probably get six or eight.

[00:22:24] You get 12 oinks.

[00:22:25] That's a max.

[00:22:26] I'm not saying you go 12 oinks every day.

[00:22:29] You're going to oink yourself to death.

[00:22:30] I was saying that's a giant leap.

[00:22:31] It's like seven, eight oinks.

[00:22:32] Save some oinks.

[00:22:32] That's a giant leap.

[00:22:33] I was thinking we'd be happy with six.

[00:22:36] Well, I'm negotiating here.

[00:22:37] I think we would be.

[00:22:37] Are you going to negotiate?

[00:22:39] You're going to go up to 12?

[00:22:40] I think they could easily, safely, and healthily do 12 oinks a day on set.

[00:22:45] I think they're holding back?

[00:22:46] I think they're holding back.

[00:22:47] Wow.

[00:22:47] They're holding their oinks.

[00:22:48] Yeah.

[00:22:48] They're holding oinks.

[00:22:49] And then the oinks.

[00:22:50] In this movie, I believe it is Dan Geno's character, talks about how in high school he sold baked goods because high school kids love baked goods.

[00:23:00] That should have been my feels.

[00:23:01] And they do.

[00:23:03] Do you know how much money I spend as a high school kid on baked goods that kids would be selling out of their backpacks?

[00:23:12] Freaking so much money.

[00:23:14] High school kids loved baked goods.

[00:23:17] You get into first period and you realize I didn't eat enough breakfast.

[00:23:21] Johnny over there has a little Debbie that he bought from the machine, and he's going to charge you double, but your hands are tied.

[00:23:28] Your hands are tied.

[00:23:29] It's a supply and demand situation.

[00:23:31] An amazing situation and something that I forgot about myself until this movie, and so that made me happy.

[00:23:37] Dano?

[00:23:37] Yeah, I'll stick with the piglets.

[00:23:39] Yeah, good feels.

[00:23:40] Shout out to pigs.

[00:23:41] Shout out.

[00:23:43] Eight oinks is doable.

[00:23:44] Eight oinks, I think we could get there, but I mean, we're still low.

[00:23:47] By going to 12, you think eight?

[00:23:49] I think it's more than reasonable that a piglet can give 12 oinks in a performance in a single day.

[00:23:54] That's too many oinks.

[00:23:55] I don't think I'm going to get going.

[00:23:57] I don't think it's safe.

[00:23:58] You could get 12 oinks in in a morning.

[00:24:00] From a piglet.

[00:24:01] From a piglet.

[00:24:02] Without getting out of bed.

[00:24:03] We're not abusing any piglets.

[00:24:05] No.

[00:24:05] 12 oinks, it's middle of the road.

[00:24:08] We want to keep coming back.

[00:24:09] I think you're doing some funny business to get 12 oinks out.

[00:24:11] No.

[00:24:11] No, there's four.

[00:24:13] What is that?

[00:24:13] A tenth of a day work?

[00:24:16] But they're piglets.

[00:24:17] I know.

[00:24:17] We're not asking for 40 oinks here.

[00:24:19] It's a 12 oink day.

[00:24:20] That's a big day.

[00:24:21] Some days they're going to sit around.

[00:24:22] You know this.

[00:24:23] They're going to be in their green rooms, and they're not going to get out for a single oink.

[00:24:26] And you know that.

[00:24:27] I do know.

[00:24:27] And then the next day, all I can get is four oinks.

[00:24:30] But it's not cumulative.

[00:24:31] I know.

[00:24:32] What if they get a bigger trough in exchange?

[00:24:34] Just a little bigger trough.

[00:24:36] I could spice the trough up.

[00:24:38] Well, that's going to up your budget.

[00:24:39] Yeah.

[00:24:39] I mean, I'm not worried about the budget.

[00:24:41] I'm worried about getting it.

[00:24:42] But if I can get 12 oinks instead of four, I'm three days of shooting.

[00:24:44] I can do it one day.

[00:24:45] I'll even throw in some slop.

[00:24:48] You weren't throwing in slop before?

[00:24:50] Extra slop.

[00:24:51] Extra.

[00:24:52] Thanks.

[00:24:52] Let's take a quick break.

[00:24:53] We'll be right back.

[00:24:54] Let's put a pork in this.

[00:24:57] Nice.

[00:24:59] Dan, if there's one thing that I've learned over the years being married, you are as well,

[00:25:04] is how important period care is.

[00:25:06] And it's not as easy as I thought.

[00:25:08] I grew up thinking that everybody has access to whatever they need in regards to period care.

[00:25:13] That's not always the case.

[00:25:14] And that's why I'm thrilled that we have partnered with Joni that not only cares about the people

[00:25:18] that are buying the products, but people that maybe can't.

[00:25:21] That's exactly right, Brandon.

[00:25:22] It's a good company with a great product.

[00:25:24] And I learned a lot through this advertising campaign, including many conventional pads

[00:25:29] use petroleum-based plastic that take over 300 years to break down.

[00:25:32] And it's not always the best material for your skin.

[00:25:36] Joni pads are made with a biofilm from cornstarch and break down in the right conditions in 12 months.

[00:25:42] And here's the thing.

[00:25:43] When we say good company, we mean it.

[00:25:45] To date, Joni has donated over 700,000 products to nonprofits across Canada and the U.S.

[00:25:51] And once people try Joni, they love it.

[00:25:53] And 94% of their customers give them five stars.

[00:25:57] This is why we think the company and their pads are game changers.

[00:26:01] That's exactly right, Dan.

[00:26:02] You can head over to getjoni.com.

[00:26:04] That's J-O-N-I, getjoni.com.

[00:26:07] And give the gift that keeps on giving, period, care.

[00:26:11] Seriously, it's great for friends, kids in college, or yourself.

[00:26:14] And you don't have to worry about the dangerous chemicals or unknown materials with Joni.

[00:26:19] Purchase a subscription and get 15% off.

[00:26:22] That's getjoni, J-O-N-I.com.

[00:26:31] Welcome back, everybody, to Pig Talk with the boys.

[00:26:34] It's good to be here today talking about how much is too much for the piglets.

[00:26:39] It's time for The Weight Watchers where we talk about what in the zoom unit is going to go away.

[00:26:42] What, Brian?

[00:26:43] Yeah, carrying a picture frame in your bag is a move.

[00:26:47] Yeah.

[00:26:48] So risky.

[00:26:49] Did she move?

[00:26:49] I don't know that she's in...

[00:26:51] I had three picture frames with me at ChristmasCon and no one blinked.

[00:26:54] You're a better man than me.

[00:26:55] Because I could...

[00:26:55] Until you bet them all, right?

[00:26:57] You know?

[00:26:58] You had three going up.

[00:26:59] How many you got now?

[00:26:59] Yeah.

[00:27:00] He doesn't leave the furnace on all year at that house in the mountains where it's freezing?

[00:27:07] Like, you're going to deal with frozen pipes every time you open that door.

[00:27:11] If they're in Canada, which they are, that furnace is going to be working your end.

[00:27:15] He was like, the guy's like, oh, I started the furnace.

[00:27:17] I did this and that.

[00:27:18] It's like, what?

[00:27:19] You got to leave the heat.

[00:27:19] You started the furnace.

[00:27:20] It's December.

[00:27:20] You got to have that thing going.

[00:27:22] The heat's got to come on in South Carolina in October.

[00:27:24] Man.

[00:27:24] It's like just a crazy move.

[00:27:28] This guy, he's piping icing in this house.

[00:27:31] He had to go buy everything to stay in this house.

[00:27:35] Cleaning supplies.

[00:27:36] Food.

[00:27:37] Everything.

[00:27:38] And the next scene, as soon as he moves in, he's piping icing onto something.

[00:27:42] He took giant leaps.

[00:27:44] Like, he got everything he needed and then some.

[00:27:46] Like, that's just a lot of extra stuff.

[00:27:49] Like, to get to the level where I'm piping icing on something, like, a lot of stuff has to happen.

[00:27:53] Yeah.

[00:27:54] You got to get it.

[00:27:54] Yeah.

[00:27:55] And, Brian, you'll pipe icing for nothing.

[00:27:57] Yeah.

[00:27:57] Willy nilly.

[00:27:59] Not bright.

[00:27:59] I guess that might be a me thing.

[00:28:01] That might be a me thing.

[00:28:03] And then the Christmas market looked really nice.

[00:28:05] It was just, like, hardly busy.

[00:28:06] Like, there was no one there.

[00:28:08] Not once did they talk about surviving.

[00:28:09] Down day.

[00:28:10] Surviving.

[00:28:10] Down day at the market.

[00:28:11] You think that's it?

[00:28:12] In December, yeah.

[00:28:13] Just a down day.

[00:28:14] That's why we're here.

[00:28:14] Everybody shops early there.

[00:28:15] Everybody got their stuff on December 7th.

[00:28:17] And this was December 8th.

[00:28:18] Oh, maybe that's what it was.

[00:28:20] I didn't even think of that.

[00:28:22] Yeah.

[00:28:23] And again, the diluting the power of the board by just adding an extra seed.

[00:28:28] Here we go again.

[00:28:29] It's just, without a fight, without a struggle, without a conversation.

[00:28:33] It's just a real...

[00:28:34] It's an uphill battle for that.

[00:28:35] This point in the year where I feel like no one checked to see if we're making the same

[00:28:39] movie.

[00:28:40] Right.

[00:28:40] Like, no one checked.

[00:28:41] Right, right.

[00:28:41] Anybody diluting shares?

[00:28:43] No?

[00:28:43] No one knows what the other company is, the other production studio is doing.

[00:28:48] And it's just like, well, maybe we'll have 40 fake relationship movies.

[00:28:51] We don't know.

[00:28:51] No one knows.

[00:28:52] Yeah.

[00:28:53] Remember that year we had two carousel movies?

[00:28:54] It's impossible.

[00:28:55] It's crazy.

[00:28:56] It's impossible to know.

[00:28:56] We had two dead parent board seat movies this year, Brian.

[00:28:59] That's stupid.

[00:29:00] We couldn't know.

[00:29:01] Speaking of the dead parent, that's will reading.

[00:29:05] That's the craziest stipulation I've ever heard.

[00:29:09] I have one board seat.

[00:29:10] That's right.

[00:29:12] Whichever one of you has a higher net worth at Christmas.

[00:29:16] Now, I don't know when he updated his will, but we're a mere week away from Christmas.

[00:29:25] Yeah.

[00:29:26] Is that just bad timing?

[00:29:27] Or, like, if he died, I think he was hoping he'd die in January, and then his kids would

[00:29:33] be at each other's throats for the whole year.

[00:29:35] That's right.

[00:29:35] This is tough.

[00:29:36] He just basically, like, he finds this out, and he's like, well, there's that.

[00:29:39] Like, I can't.

[00:29:40] There's something that I can do.

[00:29:42] That's a bummer.

[00:29:43] Yeah.

[00:29:43] That's a bummer.

[00:29:44] And somebody on, when he was on his deathbed, he should say by two Christmases.

[00:29:49] Like, you just didn't give him enough time to make it fun.

[00:29:52] You didn't make it fun for anybody.

[00:29:53] If you're going to do this thing where it's based on net worth, you got to give him enough

[00:29:57] trying to make it fun.

[00:29:58] Puppets to dance.

[00:29:59] That's exactly right.

[00:30:00] That's exactly right.

[00:30:00] You got to get those pigs to oink.

[00:30:03] But safely.

[00:30:04] Of course.

[00:30:06] Listen, I don't know what this guy's deal is.

[00:30:09] Like, he seems like he's a bright guy.

[00:30:11] You know, he's building apps.

[00:30:12] He has good business sense.

[00:30:13] He's a millionaire.

[00:30:16] I don't know how you get to the point where you go, best place for a tree is outside in

[00:30:20] bathtub and water.

[00:30:21] I don't know how you get there.

[00:30:22] I don't know how you get there.

[00:30:23] There's just no world.

[00:30:24] Like, his thing is like, I didn't have a stand.

[00:30:26] I didn't know what to do with it.

[00:30:27] Lean up against a wall.

[00:30:28] Do anything.

[00:30:30] Taking it outside and you see bathtub.

[00:30:33] I'll add water.

[00:30:34] I know how cold.

[00:30:35] Like, this isn't going to go.

[00:30:36] I don't know how he got there.

[00:30:38] So, we've watched.

[00:30:39] But I'm worried about him.

[00:30:40] Yeah.

[00:30:41] He's not right.

[00:30:42] We've watched some Hanukkah Christmas movie combos where this one lead is Jewish and one

[00:30:50] lead is Christian.

[00:30:51] And the Jewish person is like learning about Christmas for the first time.

[00:30:55] And they know more about it than Dan Janot's character.

[00:30:59] And here's the thing is, it really isn't Christmas.

[00:31:01] It's just like physics.

[00:31:03] Yeah.

[00:31:04] It's just like, you know, cold water.

[00:31:06] When your kid like messes with an ice tray.

[00:31:08] Yeah.

[00:31:08] Like, what did he think was going to happen?

[00:31:12] Yeah.

[00:31:12] Like, there are so, he needs to be taken to a hospital.

[00:31:15] He's not.

[00:31:16] I don't know how you.

[00:31:17] He's going through.

[00:31:17] I just can't.

[00:31:19] Best place in bathtub and water.

[00:31:20] Yeah.

[00:31:22] I actually put, of course, the water froze.

[00:31:24] How stupid are you?

[00:31:25] Yeah.

[00:31:25] That's what I put down.

[00:31:26] Great point.

[00:31:26] There you go.

[00:31:28] The performance with the app is wild for a couple of reasons.

[00:31:33] One, the director is crazy with his countdowns.

[00:31:37] He's like three.

[00:31:38] Yeah.

[00:31:39] Yeah.

[00:31:39] That's great.

[00:31:39] And then his all clear, his all clear is even crazier.

[00:31:43] He's like, I don't know.

[00:31:45] Like, amazing.

[00:31:46] They just said, go, hey, go crazy.

[00:31:48] Go nuts.

[00:31:49] Like, whatever you, you're on a movie set.

[00:31:51] Act like you've never been on one before.

[00:31:53] And then imagine what a director does.

[00:31:55] And that's what he did.

[00:31:55] And I loved every second of that.

[00:31:57] But the app's absolutely nuts.

[00:31:59] You got people, they are live streaming this thing.

[00:32:02] And they're just like putting like Snapchat filters on things.

[00:32:07] Yeah.

[00:32:07] There's like rockets going off behind her.

[00:32:10] Fireworks.

[00:32:11] It's crazy.

[00:32:12] And the app is also just like, you stop making a thousand apps and make one good app.

[00:32:20] Yeah.

[00:32:20] An all in one, one stop shop for musicians.

[00:32:24] It's a great app.

[00:32:25] It's a great app.

[00:32:26] And you don't need to download a thousand of them because we got one of them.

[00:32:30] I don't know why they're like, he just keeps making new apps.

[00:32:33] Stop.

[00:32:34] Stop making new apps.

[00:32:35] He's an app developer.

[00:32:36] He's an app developer.

[00:32:36] Once he stops, you know, once he starts, he can't stop.

[00:32:38] Dan?

[00:32:39] Yeah.

[00:32:40] Before I go with my weight, what's, I do have a clarifying question.

[00:32:43] The concert at the end, was that the original idea he had of, you know, 12 acts, 10 to 15 minutes each?

[00:32:52] My understanding was his initial idea was just for her to perform.

[00:32:56] But then he did this thing with 12 acts, 15 to 20 minutes each.

[00:32:59] He says it out loud.

[00:33:00] Is that what that was at the end?

[00:33:02] Yeah, sure.

[00:33:03] How?

[00:33:05] Like, there are 35 people in the crowd for the launch of this billion dollar app.

[00:33:10] There's a dozen acts.

[00:33:12] There's a dozen different groups performing.

[00:33:15] Just the friends and family from those dozen groups would be 100 people.

[00:33:21] Yeah.

[00:33:22] Like, you can't do this thing where you put out 40 folding chairs and, like, you just launched the next, you know, whatever.

[00:33:30] Like, I just couldn't get over that.

[00:33:31] And then the biggest weight, what did this movie is when the power goes out during that thing?

[00:33:36] Yeah.

[00:33:37] I can't believe, Brian, you didn't clock this one.

[00:33:39] I got to be honest.

[00:33:39] He said, they said, do we have enough power to do the live stream?

[00:33:42] To do the live stream.

[00:33:44] We've been having internet issues around here all week.

[00:33:46] To do the live stream.

[00:33:47] And this joker says, we do have enough.

[00:33:51] We probably have enough power for the broadcast, but not enough for the lights.

[00:33:57] Yeah.

[00:33:59] My man, we do have the kilowattage necessary to record live video.

[00:34:07] Shoot it in the outer space.

[00:34:09] Yeah.

[00:34:09] To wherever you're watching your device.

[00:34:11] Receive comments.

[00:34:13] But the lights, that's going to take a whole nother thing.

[00:34:18] Yeah.

[00:34:18] What are you talking about, bro?

[00:34:20] Like, you can run a light all day and it's like the least amount of power.

[00:34:25] Like, I couldn't.

[00:34:27] You lose money.

[00:34:28] Yeah.

[00:34:28] We just said it and that makes it okay.

[00:34:31] She has a flip phone, which is a big part of this movie, but it's a flip phone similar

[00:34:36] to when I had around 2004.

[00:34:39] You can see who's calling from the outside of it.

[00:34:41] There's a little screen there and she, instead of looking at that, flips the phone open,

[00:34:49] sees that it's her manager and she's already picked up the call and then she just hangs

[00:34:53] up on her manager.

[00:34:54] Mr. Manager.

[00:34:55] I mean, yeah.

[00:34:55] She clearly doesn't want to talk to Mr. Manager and she...

[00:34:58] I feel like there was a...

[00:34:59] So you're saying she opened it up and then...

[00:35:01] So I'm pretty sure, and I did not rewind it because, you know, I could be wrong, but on

[00:35:06] the outside of the phone, there's a little screen.

[00:35:08] It tells you who's calling.

[00:35:09] Yeah.

[00:35:09] That's where it tells you who's calling.

[00:35:11] But I feel like I had a flip phone where it did that, but I still had to open it and

[00:35:15] I still had to press green.

[00:35:16] Answer it, yeah.

[00:35:17] No.

[00:35:17] Mine was when I flipped it, you could turn that setting on or off.

[00:35:20] Yeah.

[00:35:21] When you flip it, it's all...

[00:35:22] So maybe she has it off.

[00:35:23] No, she flipped it and it was immediately picked up.

[00:35:26] She flipped it and then saw, oh my gosh, it's my manager and the zeros went to zero one

[00:35:30] and she went end.

[00:35:31] And I was like...

[00:35:32] Dan, I see you as a guy with a flip phone specifically.

[00:35:35] You would flip it open and immediately just say, go for Dan.

[00:35:37] I wish, man.

[00:35:38] I wish I was that cool.

[00:35:39] That's how I see you.

[00:35:40] I watched CSI 2001, 2002 and Gil Grissom would always answer his phone, Grissom.

[00:35:45] He would just pick it up and go, Grissom.

[00:35:47] And I'm like, that's the coolest dude in the world.

[00:35:48] I mean, Thompson.

[00:35:49] That's yeah, that's it.

[00:35:52] I felt like, and this may have been just me and this movie, that the part of this movie

[00:35:57] where he gets the Christmas tree, not where he freezes it, the part where he gets the Christmas

[00:36:01] tree.

[00:36:02] Have we even thought about it?

[00:36:05] The part where he gets the Christmas tree takes literal years.

[00:36:08] I'm older now.

[00:36:10] I'm older now.

[00:36:11] Go put a clock to it.

[00:36:12] For a movie about apps and flip phones and music and cabins and estranged siblings, he's

[00:36:20] picking out a tree or at the tree lot for, I'm going to lowball it, 300 minutes.

[00:36:27] It's a long time.

[00:36:28] And it was crazy early in this movie.

[00:36:30] They read the will and the will that is being read by this lawyer who says, uh, your father

[00:36:37] did not a lot, a lot, any money for your kids that you may have.

[00:36:43] He's talking to Dan Janot and Dan Janot's like, that makes sense.

[00:36:45] I didn't have them.

[00:36:46] And he says, no, it's because your sister had them first.

[00:36:50] She wins and gets the money in a Hallmark movie.

[00:36:54] I know that the dad's kind of a dead villain, which bold move Hallmark in a hall.

[00:36:59] I do love that.

[00:37:00] They did not redeem that man at all.

[00:37:02] No, but to basically say there is a human being out there that awarded someone because

[00:37:09] they were the first to have children is meaner than Hallmark's ever been.

[00:37:16] ever.

[00:37:17] Like that is brutal.

[00:37:19] I mean, cause you know, there's a clause in there that says adoption doesn't count.

[00:37:24] That's right.

[00:37:24] You don't make that because you can't buy your way to the top.

[00:37:28] This guy died.

[00:37:29] This guy died and Alonzo Duraldi on social media put his, the link to his death up and just

[00:37:34] put dead, not RIP.

[00:37:36] That's how bad of a guy this is.

[00:37:38] That's brutal.

[00:37:38] That's how you know if you're friends with Alonzo, look out for that.

[00:37:40] You see dead, you're a monster.

[00:37:42] I've learned so much about people I didn't know.

[00:37:44] Just by those.

[00:37:45] Yeah.

[00:37:45] I just, I guess that guy's a little shady.

[00:37:48] Look out.

[00:37:48] That's unbelievable.

[00:37:50] No.

[00:37:51] Yeah.

[00:37:52] They do try to bring this back later and her apologize, but you're estranged from your

[00:37:57] brother.

[00:37:58] He goes to find a cabin in the middle of the woods to get away.

[00:38:01] Anyway, you show up with your children unannounced.

[00:38:04] Brutal.

[00:38:05] You may be as bad as the dad.

[00:38:07] Well, she didn't know that he would.

[00:38:08] Well, she did.

[00:38:09] She did.

[00:38:09] She does finally say it.

[00:38:10] Yeah.

[00:38:11] That's terrible.

[00:38:12] Yeah.

[00:38:12] You can't do that.

[00:38:13] Brand's like, still love it.

[00:38:14] I still love it.

[00:38:15] Nothing I can do.

[00:38:16] Still love it.

[00:38:16] Kids on Christmas?

[00:38:18] And then I've not brought one of these up in a long time and I just have one more and

[00:38:21] that's it.

[00:38:21] I promise.

[00:38:23] I've not brought one of these up in a long time, but I swore for all of my life we were

[00:38:27] about to hear Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree in this movie.

[00:38:29] Gotcha.

[00:38:30] I mean, Brand, they started the first 10 measures.

[00:38:34] This movie is like 2012 all over again.

[00:38:37] Like, the first 10 measures are...

[00:38:40] And you're like, it's coming.

[00:38:42] And then it is like the...

[00:38:45] It's just like...

[00:38:47] I love that song.

[00:38:48] It was wild.

[00:38:48] It was a wild time.

[00:38:49] I was caught off guard.

[00:38:52] And then my last one I'll say for What the Hallmark.

[00:38:54] Well, it's time.

[00:38:55] It's time for What the Hallmark.

[00:38:56] So we talk about what could have been.

[00:38:57] Maybe have a good start of clarity.

[00:38:58] Any questions that we still have?

[00:38:59] What are we still wondering about?

[00:39:00] That's what this is for.

[00:39:02] Brian, movie's over.

[00:39:03] What are you still wondering about?

[00:39:04] I'm wondering...

[00:39:05] Dan Janot's character explained that when he was young, the way they would get presents

[00:39:08] is the kid who brought in the most money throughout the year for whatever job they were

[00:39:13] doing would get the presents and the other kid would get nothing.

[00:39:18] And my question was just like, did they...

[00:39:21] Logistically, did the parents buy both kids presents and then return all the ones for

[00:39:26] the loser?

[00:39:26] Or did they wait until the last minute to buy all the presents?

[00:39:30] I could see the parents not buying anything.

[00:39:32] And then once you win, then they go buy the presents.

[00:39:34] Because that seems like the worst way to do it.

[00:39:36] Of course.

[00:39:36] Yeah.

[00:39:36] I mean, I just...

[00:39:37] I want a prequel.

[00:39:40] And I just want it to be the debt.

[00:39:42] Like, I want...

[00:39:43] Because apparently he loves deadlines at Christmas.

[00:39:45] Like, he loves like, hey, net worth by Christmas, sales by Christmas.

[00:39:49] And that's how I got to figure all this out.

[00:39:52] He does sound like a truly awful person and would watch the movie.

[00:39:57] It's a grittier, like straight to Netflix situation.

[00:39:59] But I would watch this prequel of this absolutely monstrous dad.

[00:40:04] Dana?

[00:40:04] Yeah.

[00:40:04] I watched this movie on a screener, but I don't think they're going to change this.

[00:40:09] I'm pretty sure it was a lock cut.

[00:40:11] But everybody's phones in the crowd are recording her.

[00:40:15] Right.

[00:40:16] And I stopped and I did rewind it because they're recording her and she's singing, but the background

[00:40:22] is a beach.

[00:40:23] Right.

[00:40:24] On the phone.

[00:40:24] That's the app.

[00:40:25] You can make it...

[00:40:26] They're watching, I think, on the app.

[00:40:28] Yeah.

[00:40:28] That was my takeaway.

[00:40:29] And you can change the background for where she performs.

[00:40:31] And you can do this thing.

[00:40:32] Okay.

[00:40:32] And they all picked a tropical environment.

[00:40:34] They all picked a beach.

[00:40:35] That's the app.

[00:40:36] That's what I'm saying.

[00:40:37] And then the fireworks.

[00:40:38] That's what I'm saying.

[00:40:39] But when you're doing a Christmas concert, of course you're picking beach.

[00:40:41] That's the app.

[00:40:42] Yeah.

[00:40:43] That's the beauty of the app.

[00:40:44] It's the app.

[00:40:46] Have we thought about just doing it with that?

[00:40:47] Not one of the other ones, but the new one app.

[00:40:50] I love that there is a scene on the cutting room floor where they're building out this

[00:40:57] app and he's like, what if we could put beach in the back?

[00:41:00] Sure.

[00:41:01] What if we did beach?

[00:41:01] You know Zoom backgrounds?

[00:41:03] What if we brought them to this?

[00:41:04] It'd be fun.

[00:41:05] We did it, everybody.

[00:41:06] Congratulations to us.

[00:41:07] Every Tuesday, we dive deep into a life of a double-decker, somebody who has signed

[00:41:11] up for Bramble Jam Plus at the double-decker tier or higher.

[00:41:14] You get access to the Facebook page, ad-free podcasting, and so much other good stuff.

[00:41:18] But also, Brian, you do a deep dive into their life.

[00:41:21] Yeah.

[00:41:22] You look them up.

[00:41:23] You share all those crazy, dirty details.

[00:41:25] That's right.

[00:41:26] And who gets the lucky luck of being chosen today, Dan?

[00:41:32] The lucky luck goes to Dana Litwin.

[00:41:35] Oh, yeah.

[00:41:36] Dana Litwin.

[00:41:37] It's time.

[00:41:38] Dana, a renowned calligrapher, if you could believe it.

[00:41:42] Sort of a lost art.

[00:41:44] But Dana really trying to keep it alive.

[00:41:45] And sort of what I found established a little bit of a side hustle using her calligraphy.

[00:41:50] You bet.

[00:41:51] So she'll create like a paper that you roll out for you, a scroll, I guess, is what those

[00:41:58] things would be.

[00:41:58] Yeah.

[00:41:59] And she'll write like a specific, like a nice message on there for you and send it to somebody

[00:42:04] on your behalf as like a gift.

[00:42:07] So it's just a nice little clue.

[00:42:08] What's it called?

[00:42:09] Well, in this specific case, it's only mean things that she'll write.

[00:42:14] Oh, it's like portraits, but writing.

[00:42:17] A little bit.

[00:42:18] Yeah, but it's for your enemies, obviously.

[00:42:19] It's like a troll scroll.

[00:42:21] It's that's close.

[00:42:22] This is a doom scroll.

[00:42:24] And so it's like all the bad things you want that would happen to your enemies if you

[00:42:29] could get.

[00:42:29] So, yes, just Dana really keeping it alive.

[00:42:33] It sounds pretty dark, especially for the holiday season.

[00:42:35] Yeah.

[00:42:35] I mean, not everybody has a bright and fuzzy holiday season.

[00:42:39] So they don't want to make sure everybody's kind of represented.

[00:42:42] It seems like one that maybe you should have just kept in the back pocket for January

[00:42:46] or something.

[00:42:47] Well, it just seems dark.

[00:42:48] It is a little dark.

[00:42:49] It's very dark.

[00:42:50] But it's something that's out there.

[00:42:53] Five meanest things on Doomscroll.

[00:42:58] Welcome back to Five Meanest Things on Doomscroll.

[00:43:01] I'm Harold Barnes.

[00:43:04] Harold Barnes.

[00:43:06] I'm here with Brian, who's speaking on behalf of Dana Litwin and her new project.

[00:43:09] It's pretty dark for the holidays.

[00:43:11] It's called Doomscroll.

[00:43:12] Brian.

[00:43:13] Number five.

[00:43:15] I hope you get hit by a bus.

[00:43:16] Oh, are you doing an accent, Brian, for this?

[00:43:18] Very, very good.

[00:43:19] I hope you get hit by a bus.

[00:43:20] That is pretty dark and pretty doomy.

[00:43:22] Number five.

[00:43:23] Let's skip to one.

[00:43:24] Number one.

[00:43:25] Fall in a sinkhole.

[00:43:27] Fall in a sinkhole.

[00:43:28] I think that's a little bit better than getting hit by a bus.

[00:43:31] I'm Harold Barnes.

[00:43:34] You get turned into a show?

[00:43:36] What was that?

[00:43:36] I don't know.

[00:43:37] I don't know.

[00:43:37] See, that's the ad.

[00:43:39] You skipped straight to one.

[00:43:40] You skipped straight to one.

[00:43:41] They were up against it.

[00:43:42] Bought some ad time.

[00:43:43] Well, we did it, everybody.

[00:43:44] Congratulations to us.

[00:43:45] The good news is we're going to be back tomorrow with another one.

[00:43:47] We've still got plenty more ahead in the next week, but it's coming, everybody.

[00:43:51] And tomorrow will be one week away from Christmas Day.

[00:43:53] I just can't believe it.

[00:43:55] What a time it is.

[00:43:56] What a time it is.

[00:43:57] It's great to be here.

[00:43:58] Join us tomorrow for another episode.

[00:44:00] Until then, may we be the first to wish you a...

[00:44:02] I was just thinking about how funny it is.

[00:44:04] I just said it's great to be here right before ending the show.

[00:44:07] We'll be back with the next show.

[00:44:08] It's so good to be here.

[00:44:09] Another show.

[00:44:10] May we be the first to wish you a...

[00:44:11] Merry Christmas!

[00:44:13] Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast.

[00:44:15] It's produced by Aaron Shea.

[00:44:16] What?

[00:44:17] For more information on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to deckthehallmark.com.

[00:44:21] For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com.

[00:44:24] Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.

[00:44:26] For a free trial of Philo, go to philo.tv slash dth.

[00:44:37] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio.

[00:44:43] Thanks for listening or don't listen.

[00:44:45] It's really up to you at this point.

[00:44:48] It's at the end of the show.

[00:44:49] I mean, you're listening to me.

[00:44:51] Hi.

[00:44:51] But here they come.

[00:44:52] I promise they're coming.

[00:44:54] Yep.

[00:44:54] Here they are.

[00:44:55] Happy day.