Best of Year 6: Part 3

[00:00:04] Hi, I'm Bram and I love Best of Episodes. I'm Dan and I also love Best of Episodes and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast. Fa la la la la la la. Friends host this podcast.

[00:00:20] Fa la la la la la la la. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Fa la la la la la la. Has the theme song lasted longer than you thought?

[00:00:34] Yeah, no, no, no. I thought it was a one year and done like we've been doing and here we are. Two years in we're still doing it. Maybe it'll never go away. I hope it does.

[00:00:42] I feel like I could go an octave lower or two when I sing. Who, you? Yeah. No. Yeah. No. It's great to be back here. The third of three. Yeah. Best of Episodes. Officially kicks off Year 7. That's right. Once we say Merry Christmas here, we're into Year 7.

[00:00:59] It's wild. It's wild. Actually we're already in it really. Hey, who can really say? I don't really know. It doesn't matter. It's all 2024 this week. We're finally in the year of our Lord. Hopefully yours as well.

[00:01:14] Boy, I just thank you to the people who obviously put all this together. The people who pulled the clips, the people who combed through all of the audio and was like, this is funny. You guys should do this.

[00:01:28] Sheila Calloway for putting all of this together and you for listening and for watching on Philo week after week for the past six years. Unbelievable.

[00:01:39] Obviously, if you're not listening or watching, we're just kind of hanging out and we would do that anyway, but it is nice knowing there are people out there listening. As far as I know. I have no idea. I think they're listening. Okay, good.

[00:01:58] If you're listening, just like give me thumbs up. Yeah. Oh, there it is. I see it out there. All right. Are you ready Dano? Born ready. Great. January preview show, January 3rd, 2024, you know, because the New Year's is a thing. Or how about balls? Party favors? Dang it.

[00:02:13] How about New Year's? We talked about that before. We can't do balls. Give me three New Year's balls with a cream. If you don't mind, I have to be honest. I did not mean to. That is an honest mistake. I apologize. No man's not a bad idea.

[00:02:28] Snowman's not a bad idea. I like party favors. Like, you know, like, yeah, I know. All right. Yes, and here's what you gotta do. You're not able to say the number. You have to do the numbers. So Aaron's doing some quick math over here.

[00:02:45] Would be, how many would that be? Three. You guys got it. All right. Branson, how about balls? Branson, how about balls? How about we do balls? Like that drop on New Year's Eve is all I was getting at. They drop under nobody's head off the building.

[00:02:59] Yeah, big, big. Yeah, they put it on the crane. They drop it. Everyone gets out. You gotta get out of the way. I think it could be good. Got some fresh faces, got some old face. Not their faces aren't old, but we do. Okay guys, hold on.

[00:03:14] Benji, Nikki, I can't meet it. Bows, you guys couldn't look a day over 20, but we've seen you before. You couldn't. It's impossible. But we've seen your faces on the network before. That's all I'm trying to say. We've seen them before, but they are younger.

[00:03:34] But only two are old. And he's back. Oh no, I missed that. Branson's got friends with old faces. I hope they're still my friends. I don't know, man. But I am giving it four. I'm sorry. After a long series of... Curses? Calum-icious? Huh? Calamitous? Calamicious.

[00:04:04] My body's saying calamitous. I be up in the gym, just working on my fitness. Calamicious. My booty is delicious. I put them words on rock, rock. Say it again. Calamitous. What does that mean? It's like calamity? Yeah. After a long series of calamish... Calamitous.

[00:04:32] Calamitous relationship that always ended in disaster. Ranking every 2023 Hallmark movie Christmas edition, January 4th, 2024. Back for Christmas and ahead of Miss Christmas comes to town. Yeah. And ahead of Mystery on mistletoe land. Yeah. And ahead of Never Been Chris. Keep naming movies, yeah.

[00:04:55] Brian, you think this movie's better than Take Me Back for Christmas? No, I do not. You think it's better than Miss Christmas Comes to Town? I have one ahead. Really? Yeah. Why? I had a good time, Dan. I had a good time.

[00:05:09] And I know you're adverse to it. I know you have a hard time having a good time and also letting anything go that I say. But I had a good time, Susumi. But the thing is, is you have a good time in all of these movies.

[00:05:24] That's not true! That's not true! That can't be the defining factor of why you rank it ahead of a movie. I had a good time. There's got to be better than that. No. There's like...

[00:05:36] There's had a good time A, had a good time B, had a good time C. The Christmas Mailbag 2023, volume 1, January 5th, 2024. Brian, Daniel, Producer Aaron, Rig and Tracy, who we don't hear from as much anymore. What? That's a good point. We don't. I'm glad somebody caught it.

[00:05:57] I've been saying it around here for years. You guys just... You guys think we got some stank on us. You guys think we got some stank on us. You guys think we got stank on us. We don't. We're just as good now as we ever were.

[00:06:15] Maybe even better. That's all I got. We would love to see you in person. That would be wonderful. Come down to Bramble Fest. Bring the kiddo. We had somebody bring a baby to Bramble Fest. We'll charge him free. Babies are free. All babies are free.

[00:06:31] It's what we're having to do at Boss Baby Fest, where he's charging babies. Yeah, he's charging babies only free. Rig, how much are you charging the babies themselves? Fees $120 per baby. Per baby. Can the adults go for free?

[00:06:45] If you don't have your own suit and proper attire, that price skyrockets through the roof. To what? Because I would expect every baby, ones that are good and understand, to have their own attire. Bad babies. To be snappy. Bad babies cost... Air Force babies cost extra. How much?

[00:07:03] Well, it's $129 a night, but then the suit costs $500. A night or just flat fee? Wow. And you got to... You're basically a rental? You got to return it in the manner in which it was given to you. What's the manner it was given to us?

[00:07:16] Clean as a whistle. It comes with... ...to it. And I say like you can... All those folks are married to other people. And if there's one thing that I learned from Back to Bayside with Bethann is that you can kiss purely platonically. That's right. That's right.

[00:07:31] She had a platonic kissing friend according to her. Right. Again, double decker. But she is from Mississippi. So I don't listen. In Mississippi... Look, your Christmas or mine part two, December 8th, 2024.

[00:07:48] Well, I think that, you know, I love the fact that you are a fan of the actor who plays Haley's dad, Daniel Mays, because I think we know who's going to play Bran in the next episode. I did have that thought as well. This man has your head.

[00:08:03] He does. He has some similar mannerisms. He is so Bran. It was just between the character's love of Christmas and just this guy's literal, like, you know, phrenology. I'm like, Bran in the movie. We both talk similar. Both have it down to... The accent. Six of one.

[00:08:23] That guy's American. Really? No. Of course not. No. I feel fooled. Boy, I'd like to meet him though. Shout out to that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aaron, can you do a side by side? Yeah, do that in post. Love on the right course, January 9th, 2024.

[00:08:43] Let's talk about what this movie gave us feels. Brian? Yeah, well, one, the first thing I noticed in this was Mark, you mentioned he looked great. He does. And his, like, he looked like a golf pro.

[00:08:54] Like, his shirts just, and also, I don't know, his Instagram was a little spicy over the holidays. And so... I didn't see it. Holy cow. He was on an island in the water. So, shirt's not needed. It's insane. You need to see this picture. Really? It's insane.

[00:09:11] He looks like a superhero. I commented and said Photoshopped. He looks like a superhero. And so watching this movie, knowing what's under the shirt, I'm just like, dude, hashtag unleash the beast or something. It's going to happen. It's inevitable now that this guy does not... What?

[00:09:28] See what I'm saying there? No. It's ridiculous. Holy cow. Ridiculous. Are you kidding me right now? Photoshopped. Photoshopped. I don't know if it's going to show up or not, but... Look at this. It doesn't do it justice. Doesn't do it justice. Oh my goodness. He should be here.

[00:09:42] Phenomenal. Yes. He should be in that. Dude. On the sweetest, the spiciest, yeah, some list. It's unbelievable. It was distracting knowing what's under the shirts. The shirts look great, but just knowing... The shirt looks great.

[00:09:51] You have that much problem paying attention when you know what's under somebody's shirt? Dude, that guy looks... It's a weird thing to say. He's just in such great shape. Must have recorded. For a long time. For a long time.

[00:10:00] Just knowing that he basically almost died over the past year or whatever. Yeah. He's come back. He made a comeback, man. That's crazy. What's our excuse? Dan and I are like, we're going to do a thing where we eat two smoothies a week.

[00:10:12] And that guy fought death and came back looking like that. Unreal. That's crazy. Screw you, Ross. Vic Michaelis, January 10th, 2024. I love that. I love that. Round and round. Yeah. Let's talk about Hallmark. Can you just... Here we go. I know. We made it.

[00:10:29] And we both quite enjoyed the movie. I had it first for the year. Thank you so much. First time. And I had it first for the year. Thank you so much. For the year. We collectively... Bran had it second. I had it second.

[00:10:39] And so my question to you is, why do you think Bran hates you? And I'll take that answer however you'd like to do it. Yeah. That's so funny. That's a question that I would also like to know. Well, and I have my own reasons.

[00:10:50] And we don't need to get into it. But just Biltmore was number one for me. And it was more just the building and the magic and whatnot. You're going to defend the other movie to the actor of the other movie? Yes. I just want to get... Okay. Okay.

[00:11:05] Hold on. Just hold on. Vic auditioned for Christmas at Biltmore and didn't get it. Yeah. So how does that make you feel? So round and round. Would I be the first guest that you made cry on your podcast? On the podcast itself, yes.

[00:11:20] But Dan has made multiple people cry with his reviews. We have had two actors come on the show. And I'm like, if you're on the show, think if they don't listen. And they're like, oh yeah, you made me cry. And I was like, oh no. So that's me.

[00:11:34] And one of them is Tamara Mowry-Housley. The sister, sister actor. You're kidding. True story. That's really hard. Has that changed your reviews at all? Like has that changed the way you talk about movies? My stuff, I try to be like critical, but not like...

[00:11:50] I try to never make it personal. And the other one, I think Tamara said like, you know what you were saying was right. I just didn't. And Ashley Williams was the other one who's a wonderful, like she's a dear friend of ours. She's so sweet.

[00:12:04] She produced this movie with her sister. And they did a Kimberly Williams-Paisley. Yes! The two Christmas movies. The swifter swap. And I basically talked about how this is a great idea, but Hallmark just didn't let it work. Like it didn't really unleash it and let it work.

[00:12:18] And here's why it didn't work. And then when I saw her, she was like, I'm taking off my makeup, I'm washing my face. I'm like, let me see what the guys thought. And I heard you and I just started crying because as a producer,

[00:12:30] what you were saying was not inaccurate. And so I think both of those on the surface, it sounds terrible that I made them cry, but I never go after people. Like I'm not, I hope I'm never punching down.

[00:12:41] Like I hope what I'm saying is very much this movie doesn't work, but I will say it has changed from the beginning. When I first started... You're not looking up people's IMDb's and telling them it's the size of a dessert plate. I would not.

[00:12:53] Yeah. I'm not bringing someone on the show and going, I liked a movie more than yours. Like I wouldn't do that. Okay. I wasn't planning on that, but I, but again, but you know what? My thing is, is at least I reviewed the episode or the movie.

[00:13:07] Dan got the flu and so he didn't. I did a video. No, I did a video where I reviewed the film. So there is a review out there. It's just not on the podcast. Doesn't matter. Vic, on your Instagram,

[00:13:21] you have a picture of yourself wearing an Orlando Magic jersey. This is big. I'm a diehard Orlando Magic fan. Is there... Look at his shirt. Yes, I am actually. Are you a Magic fan? Yes, I am! How? God, Vic.

[00:13:40] My parents live in Orlando and I decided I was going to be an Orlando Magic fan because you can get season tickets for... That's right, because we're bad always. Right. That's right. Yes. And so I was like, I'm going to commit to being an Orlando Magic fan

[00:13:52] and Stuff is the greatest mascot of all time. He's the best mascot. He won mascot of the year, Mother Goose. He won mascot of the year. It's true. So yes, that is earnest. I am an Orlando Magic fan.

[00:14:06] I really was like, I want to commit to a fandom there. And so I did. I'm an LA Sparks fan and an Orlando Magic fan. Can we talk about... That round just moved to two in my rankings. I've been thinking three. It moved to one for me though.

[00:14:20] It was one now. It's nothing to do with what you said. It's just what I've been thinking about. Vic, can we be... Are we friends? Can we talk about the Magic on a regular... I always seen Magic fans in there. Yes, I would love that.

[00:14:29] Who would have guessed that initially I thought I was going to be replacing you on the podcast here. And now we're doing it. Just sit right here. Brian, Brian, we can get something else for Brian. Vic, I have an NBA podcast.

[00:14:40] I have an NBA podcast with another actor. He's a Canadian from Vancouver, BC. That's exactly right. Antonio Kayon. That's right. And we talk basketball all the time. You're invited on anytime. Oh, please. Would love to. Literally anytime. Just sort of cry a little bit and be sad.

[00:14:55] And then we can talk about what stuff was up. Stuff's always up to stuff. Yeah, stuff status. That'd be great. See, I'm just making it up for you. Stuff's the best. I'll come to the stuff report. Stuff report. It's a weekly stuff report. Stuff report. I love it.

[00:15:09] Dying for fame, January 10th, 2024. The first Lifetime movie of 2024 officially. Because we didn't have a lot of movies come out in the first couple weeks. We've been really focused on the Gypsy Rose Blanchard. The what? The who? The Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

[00:15:26] You're going to have to help me here. I don't know any of those words. Munchhausen Syndrome. What? Munchhausen's by proxy. Excuse me, by proxy, of course. Different things. Yes. It is true. Is this a real story?

[00:15:40] For years of her life, her mother, she thought she was sick, bound in a wheelchair. And it eventually got to the point where she found out she wasn't sick, convinced her boyfriend to murder her mother, and she's been in jail.

[00:15:53] I have not heard, I don't know literally 0% about this. I don't know who Gypsy Rose Blanchard is. She's out of jail. She got released. It's a blind spot in my just… She is, she's dying for fame. She's an influencer now. Wow.

[00:16:11] And she killed somebody or had somebody killed? Yeah, her boyfriend. She orchestrated it. So she's, you know, she served her time. She's, what's that called? Conspiring to murder someone. Yeah, conspiracy to commit murder. Yeah, of course. Yeah, so she did that.

[00:16:27] But don't call her a murderer because she gets really offended. All right. Not a murderer. I got it. She is on the line, so don't call her that. So because of that story, Lifetime didn't release any movies? Exactly. This story is so huge.

[00:16:41] Like she, they got the first interview out of jail. They interviewed her like six months in jail and did a four-part docu-series that they've been releasing over the last couple of weeks. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Okay.

[00:16:55] And they did a Lifetime movie about her childhood and the stuff with the mother, with Marsha Gay Harden as the mother. That's a big name. It's a big name. Yeah. Yeah. She's Academy Award winning. Academy Award winning Marsha Gay Harden. Wow. Well, there you have it.

[00:17:10] Let's, well, I guess tell me about dying for fame since we're here, but I now am going to look up Gypsy Rose Blanchard in my spare time. You shouldn't. I shouldn't. Great. I shouldn't. Not a murderer. And we want to make that clear. Yeah. She's just conspired.

[00:17:25] Just on the, yes. Yeah. She's an assistant coach to murder is all she is. She's not the head. Exactly. Yes. Would never choose to go back. Like would never choose, like would take now at 40 over 18 and 17 in high school any day, like any day. What about you?

[00:17:44] I know that you, we talked about high school a little bit with you, but would you, you went to a bigger school. You popular? I went to a performing arts school, so I think everybody was, was a nerd, a theater nerd.

[00:17:56] But no, I was on the morning announcements. So I was the gay guy. Say no more. Say no more. Do you know, say no more. I was happy with my social standing. When you were doing the morning announcements, did you ever have to like go to break?

[00:18:11] Was there like a break in morning announcements or was it just like a, like a straightforward no breaks? Just type five. Never. I went the full first period. Wow. You missed the full, full every day. Yeah. My producer would be like, hello. Hello.

[00:18:28] We got to go to a break. Gotta go to class break. And I'm like, no, no, let's make this makeup for right now. Let's make up for right now. Let's take a quick break.

[00:18:35] We'll get back to high school chat and maybe a little bit of dying for fame right here on deck. The lifetime on court. And pay to be paid to be, he comes running downstairs and Meg's like, oh my gosh, he attacked me.

[00:18:48] And Anna and Meg chase after him through the stairwell. And then Meg just like pushes him over the stairwell and he goes in between the bars and he like plunk plunk down like Plinko. Yeah. He didn't just fall. He hit like every railing on the way down. Yeah.

[00:19:08] Every railing. Oh man, it's like the bell jingle all over. Do we bring a clip by any chance? No, I did not bring him bring up because that was too scary for me. Yeah. I was like, you know, usually you don't see the actual fall.

[00:19:22] You just see the body of the splat. We don't see this, but we literally just see plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk. I mean, this stairwell was probably like 16 floors. It was so much plunking. I like that was unnecessary movie. Yeah, I love it. We got the point.

[00:19:43] No, stairway Plinko. I think, you know, they gotta, they gotta use that budget somewhere. It gave me the shivers. It gave me the, it gave me the shivers. There you go. I don't like that. I don't like that. The Christmas classic, January 15th, 2024.

[00:19:58] I cannot imagine a world where I would share a literal couch, not a pullout. No, not a pullout couch, a literal couch with another person. I cannot. I would. Yes. All night. I would, I would sleep on the floor. I would rather die. I would sleep outside.

[00:20:19] I barely fit on a couch by myself. I don't like sleeping on Queens. Wait a minute. There's gotta be a better way to say that. Mattresses! Man, we just made Alonzo's year. Let's just cut and print it. I have a new ringtone. Love ski. No.

[00:20:40] I thought it was good. January 16th, 2024. Mom has told literally everyone else that she's terminal but not her daughter. Literally. It's not like she told the family. She has, I bet you she told the pizza delivery guy. She has told literally.

[00:20:56] Well, it might be the last tip I give you because I don't know if you'll wear it. That's right, exactly. Here's an extra five spot because I might not even have five left. You know, like I don't even. I don't know if I'll be mailing letters anymore.

[00:21:11] Just like to not tell your own daughter. Don't forget the word of my drug. Why would I even buy a new blouse? Yeah, well this looks brand new but you know, my liver. It's high rotation. Who needs them? Please don't tell my daughter.

[00:21:33] I'm going to have one last nice trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I have 3,000 miles left. I only get my dryer vents cleaned out once every decade but I think you need to know. We might be having a week or two.

[00:21:53] My last grand marquee lasted me 300,000 miles. 300,000 miles. Don't tell my daughter. Whatever you do, don't tell my daughter. I just like guys. X-ray on the Otter Day. Yeah, that's a tough pill to swallow. I get dramatically why you set it up.

[00:22:14] Oh, I'm taking so many pills these days. Oh my goodness. You know they say it's never too late for gutter guards but it might be for me. Why?

[00:22:32] I don't want a pharmacy rewards card because then my daughter might find out that I'm using rewards points and I got cancer. Like everyone knows. Ten punches for a sub sandwich, I wish. That's three punches more than I have left.

[00:22:51] I can't believe I've told this to three subway employees. It's just tough. True Justice Family Ties, December, January 17th, 2024. Ace, God bless you. Fast and Loose is kind with the law. I just like saying Fast and Loose. Yeah, you do. I can tell.

[00:23:17] You can't spell Fast and Loose without True Justice. You can't spell Fast and Loose without Bran calling Aaron at four this afternoon to write a synopsis for a movie she'd already seen. I feel like every time you tell the story it gets later in the day.

[00:23:30] That's right, it was two minutes ago. She was doing that in real time. He was on a CB radio. He had one of those next till direct connects. I did come up with another fun sound effect for the Aaron Shaye True Justice. You ready?

[00:23:50] You probably do that between segments. Yeah, I'll do it. When she's about to go to a different room. When I walk into a new room. That's right, yeah, you get it. That's exactly what we're going to do. You say something like a cliffhanger moment. I'm TMing that.

[00:24:08] Do you think when you make that sound we could also put some words at the bottom to explain? Oh, I like that. Like what day it is, what time it is, where I am. Aaron Brothers Jail Cell. No one's doing that so let's TM that right now.

[00:24:19] On the kick drum. That's right, yeah. Man, that guy is out of it. Has he not seen the most watched television show of the last 50 years? He's head down, focused, researched. He knows Sugar Ray's discography has never heard of Law & Order? My gosh, man.

[00:24:39] I don't think he watches TV. I'm sorry, go ahead. I think he watches TV but not that much. It's sort of percolated up. Percolated? Is that like a cousin to percolated? Percolated. Hey, Brian's just being fast and loose with vocabulary. He is, he is.

[00:24:59] Christmas Mailbag, 2023 volume 2, January 18th, 2024. That was just to tack on, I was actually waiting for it to come in the mail. I've heard that before. Oh, that's a great cap. Nice flat brim on that thing. I saw it and I was like, I think Brian would wear that.

[00:25:16] Will it fit? I think it will. Look at that. Oh, and the little rope thing on the front. It's like a ship captain cap. I love that. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold your way to the furthest tab on that bad boy. This hat off.

[00:25:34] That magic hat off, this magic hat on. Is it on? Did it fit you? Dude, you look like you're about to drop an album. Yeah, you do. A mixtape at least. I'll be on the mic, ha! Nope. I got the baby bottle pop, baby bottle pop.

[00:25:53] No and no. It's not a bad idea though. The end of this says, thanks for talking on a podcast I listen to. It does say thanks for talking on a podcast I listen to. Classic Hope Timberman Hank situation. It feels like a slap in the face.

[00:26:07] It does feel a little backhanded and that's what I think I love about it. It's just a question of, you know, a question of insults. Yeah, is it me? I've been asking that question all morning. Yeah, yeah. This is also from Hope, it's from me. I got Jacob.

[00:26:27] She said thank you for talking on a podcast she listens to. Hallmark Daddy. Whoa, that felt wrong even to write. Merry Christmas, I hope you enjoy the sticker of Twilight Daddy. Ew, I did. Thank you for doing the podcast thing you do. Hope Timberman. Hope Timberman.

[00:26:45] See that was clearly thank you for doing it. Mine was, thanks for talking on a podcast I listen to. I think Hope hates Brian and I think we should get that going right now. In her sentence she gives me no validation or credit. It's so passive.

[00:27:02] So are we starting now, Hope hates Brian bit of the year 2024? Hashtag Hope hates Brian. Hope hates Brian. I got what she needs. Hope hates Brian. Hope hates Brian. Hope hates Brian. Hope hates Brian. She wants him to die. Hope hates Brian.

[00:27:23] I would say this card is offensive if it wasn't so gosh darn hilarious. It is the nativity scene but instead of Jesus, Mary and Joseph it is Edward, Bella and Renezmay whatever they created. The very real baby. I'm not at all CGI baby. Very real.

[00:27:42] Dan do I know you well enough to send you a borderline blasphemous card with a sticker of Edward Cullen's, the sticker I can't show you nor can I repeat what that says.

[00:27:53] It's not as bad as you think but it's too bad to say here that should tell you what it is. Probably not. Did I do it anyway? I don't know. Yeah. Anyways, Merry Christmas. Thanks for watching television you hate for our enjoyment.

[00:28:09] See once again she clearly said she was enjoying something that I was doing whereas you. Hope hates Brian. Hope hates Brian. I feel like that. She wants him to die. The Way Home season 2 kickoff January 19th 2024. Our minds were pretty freaking blown right out of the gate.

[00:28:29] I have not watched a single trailer for season 2. Me neither. I stayed away. That's right. And that is due entirely in part. Pick it up. Pick it up. That is due thanks entirely in part to viewers like you.

[00:28:49] Filo Filo TV there one button ads for the entire season. You can watch it on the air. You can watch it on the air. You Filo Filo TV there one button ad skip makes it to where we were watching the homework movies right back into it.

[00:29:05] No commercial is that is entirely in part to do. That is somewhat altogether. All right, Ryan. If you donate $79.99 right now, that's right. Butterfly in the sky. Lisa, this is why I homework recently did a marathon of all the episodes. Thanks, Lisa.

[00:29:28] What do you want us to do? Lisa watch it. Our job is to know as little as possible. Here's what I want to continue. Right. What's your biggest fear before we wrap this bad boy up? No lobster social with you. Sorry.

[00:29:45] I think Ryan had a really funny thing to say to any ruined it. What would you what you're going to say? What's your biggest fear? I'm going to ask again. Right before we wrap this thing up. What's your biggest fear for the way home season two?

[00:30:00] Dive can never ruin it. That's true. Dive can only enhance. You're right. At what point do we get like flagged? I think we're there. Yeah. Okay. Right. What's your biggest fear for wrap this thing up for the way home season two?

[00:30:22] No lobster social would be where those lobsters going to get out of their own Hey, did you watch the preview? We got several mentions. We got more mentions than camp grammars. They only got three minutes left in the episode, but they're really they're enjoying them.

[00:30:31] I'm sure all the fans appreciate that. They didn't know the show. Thanks for watching. If you donate $7.99 right now. This is what I want to say to the people. We're excited about season two. We're excited about season two. We're excited about season two. We're excited about season two.

[00:30:49] We're excited about season two. We're excited about season two. We're excited about season two. We're entirely in part. Sorry for what happened today. We're really excited about the way home season two. If you're disappointed in this preview show, you don't get the show and we're not telling you.

[00:31:08] And I think that I think it's going to be really fun. I think it's going to be fun. Coupled up for Christmas, January 22nd, 2024 playing Marcus Rosner for just that video. Very specific. A great jacket. It is.

[00:31:23] And this is what I sent him and I want to put it out there on the record as well. I said, I love that jacket. And then I sent him a picture of this jacket and I said a one for one trade. And he said deal.

[00:31:35] So whenever he's ready to make good on that deal, I think we're ready to go. But we have those bomber jackets laying around. We got we we we we grossly overestimated how many people wanted a bomber jacket. Yeah, we did.

[00:31:49] We have hundreds lying around, just lying around ready to be shipped. Thank you. Please. It is my favorite piece of merch we've ever done. Please. Aside from the picture of the pants on a shirt that says my pants, obviously. Please buy the bomber jacket.

[00:32:07] So it keeps the lights on here in this. We don't have the space. I'm being moved out of my office because we bought so many bomber jackets. Anyway, we heard the challenge. You wear a different one every day. You could get one worn by a brand.

[00:32:24] Yeah, I'll sign it. I don't care. This one's a little too small for me. I like to see if maybe I'm getting any. The smoothies aren't working yet. It's early. We're doing a thing. It takes a long for a thing to take off. Two smoothies a week.

[00:32:42] That's going to fix our problem. I've tried. I've lost calories by 20 recent years. Yeah, it's one per sip. That's exactly right. It's a dessert. Anyway, witnesses them singing Christmas karaoke together. You can't fake it. No, you can't. She's like, hey, you, I don't like your girlfriend. Yeah. Nice.

[00:33:07] I think you need a new one. Here's the thing, we want the real Avril back. We know that Avril is a bad person. We know that Avril, that specific year went missing. She's been replaced. They're all aware of it. Right, Aaron? 100%.

[00:33:27] Are we starting a new podcast where we deep dive into the Avril Lavigne? Avril Lavigne is where it is. I will deep dive about that. The current Avril is not the real Avril. This is absurd. She went missing in 04. Something like that. I heard she died.

[00:33:43] Her body double, they paid her to take over. That's why her hair is so blonde. You've lost your mind. You think the real Avril would marry Chris Kroger? I think so, yeah. What about Chad Kroger? Chris Kroger is the founder of the Kroger grocery stores.

[00:34:01] But he did write Photograph. Anyway. Bring Avril back. Avril's here. Don't be a hater, boy. We'll see you later, boy. See you later, boy. Tiffany's snooping around and discovers... This may be my favorite moment of 2024 so far. Wow. The whole thing. Not the hater, but that was terrible.

[00:34:28] Tiffany's snooping around. Chris Kroger especially. I was doing so good with the cup. Fuck! The music's going to run out. Betty's a bad luck in love. January 23, 2024. Speaking of the decade, I understand, Rick, you're having a watch party up at Fitzy's. Invite only.

[00:34:49] How do people get an invite? You would need to know someone to get an invite. That's part of the whole reason Fitzy's exists in the manner... How do you guys... Fitzy's isn't regulated by the government in any way. We've established that.

[00:35:03] D-Hack or DA or Fed, FBI, CIA, CSI, NBC, all of them. None of them regulate... Most of them I would hope not, to be honest with you. You've got to know somebody to get something, if you know what I mean, wink wink.

[00:35:17] But you have not invited, as far as I know, any of us, right? You're not winking, but you're saying wink wink. That's how it should be done. You're hosting the decade. I know, but I still like to get an invite.

[00:35:29] Do you think you could be two places at once? Is that what you think about yourself? Are you so high and mighty on yourself that you think you could be two places at the same time? What I'm saying, Wrigley, is that maybe...

[00:35:39] I'll be dressed up in my finest cargos. Yeah, you're dressed cargos. I'll have a Tanquilla in one hand. Who knows what else in the other, you know what I mean? You can carry a Tanquilla in one hand? Well, it's got a handle.

[00:35:52] It's a two or ten pound toy tank with a handle. I'm not going to be far from the bar. Where do they put the handle? Right by the nozzle. That doesn't make any sense at all. They're doing a new drink though for the decade. What's it called?

[00:36:05] Oh, dang it. What's in that? All I'm saying, Wrigley, is I would come before or maybe I would go after for drinks. You're going out? Yeah, you're going out drinking. So if you wanted to scoot and invite my way, I would maybe show up. You're not welcome.

[00:36:25] Oh, wow. I don't want to say it. But I'm on the show. I don't want to say it. But you're having a watch party for a thing that I'm on. I'm not making this up. I'm starting to think he's not doing a watch party of the deck.

[00:36:39] Yeah, we're doing it. Wink, wink. I would stay away, Brant. He didn't wink once. Trace will be here though, even though we have nothing for her to do. I will be here. Haven't missed the deckies yet. You haven't missed the deckies yet.

[00:36:56] I remember none of them, but I haven't been in any. You've been fired as producer. I was not fired. I stepped down. You stepped down? I stepped down. Really? Yes. Interesting. Step down firing. In a matter of think speak. Who's going to be wearing this?

[00:37:19] That's a good question. First of all, that's between me and God. But second of all, you guys remember Jessica Simpson? I do. She threw out a bunch of stuff recently at her local Goodwills. Do you follow her? Do you like outside of her house?

[00:37:35] Well, it was an accident. What was an accident? You were out there? No, that I saw her and followed her. Like I didn't set out, I didn't wake up today and go, I'm going to follow Jessica Simpson around. What about that day?

[00:37:49] I saw her and then I followed her. You saw her? A couple weeks ago. And you've been following her ever since? No, that one day. And the clothes fit great. The gown fits. I can. So you're wearing a Jessica Simpson original is what we're saying. Yes. Got it.

[00:38:12] A JSO. JSO. JSO. Responsible for that. Let's talk about Better Call Betty. What's it called? Betty's Bad Luck at Love. In Love. In Love. B-B-L-I-L. B-B-L-I-L. Yes. It originally aired on... B-B-L-I-L, that is exactly what it was. BB Lil. I saw BB Lil live. Oh my goodness. B-B-Lil.

[00:38:47] Hey everybody, my name's BB Lil. I was assuming it was going to be like a concert, but it sounds like it's more like a show. It's talk shows. Hey everybody, my name's BB Lil. What's up?

[00:39:01] Are you on the line, or is this a clip from you at your show? Yes. We're going to have a dab now. So tell me how BB Lil is. That's my pop rock, I tell. Yeah. BB Lil. In the house. Way Home Season 2, Episode 1. The Spanish Between.

[00:39:26] January 24th, 2024. Originally aired on January 21st, 2024. And it went a little something like this. I thought that was the new thing you were going to do. We just got the ride music in. We're just a season late, that was for Ride. Go get the horse head.

[00:40:01] We see Jacob. We see Jacob. People now think we are a morning zoo radio show now. There's nothing we can do about it. Gosh, I wish. It's time for Nearly Nude.

[00:40:14] It's the part of the show where we talk about whether or not somebody in this episode was nearly nude. We're going to bring in our nearly nude. Ryan looks terrified. We're going to bring in our nearly nude correspondent, Brian. Brian, are you here?

[00:40:29] All right, come on in, buddy. Brian, just grab the mic if you could. There you go, right there is fine. Just bend down. All right, Brian, anybody in this episode nearly nude? The way I interpreted it was we were nearly getting to the idea.

[00:40:44] It's more of a philosophical concept, constructs even. No, unfortunately not. It's a no. Thank you, Brian. I appreciate that. Thanks for putting that jacket on and everything. All right, well there you go. That's a strong replacement for Russell M. to the ground.

[00:41:05] Andy McDowell is the one who wrote a whole article about it. He wants to talk about it. You shouldn't have said that. Why not say that until the week it happens? We were already going to be in the show.

[00:41:17] Now every scene with Andy McDowell is we're going to be like, we're trying to figure out how is she going to end up nearly nude. That's right, in this scene. This wouldn't even make sense here. Byron's not even in this. Poor Roy. Poor Roy.

[00:41:34] Well, we did it, everybody. The Recipe files January 29th, 2024. Isabel, she can't let this go. And so she goes down into the down there's of below. Sorry, she goes down to the basement is what I'm trying to say. And she sees some left.

[00:41:52] You don't call the basement to down there's. She romance with a twist January 30th, 2024. Are you guys waiting to the bowling pin joke? We've been setting it up for weeks. Was that the joke? No, no, it's not. It's going to bowl you over.

[00:42:13] I hope it's not in the gutter. No, it'll strike. I'm a turkey. You just said I'm a turkey. You know how you know this movie is good? What's that? That's how you know. That's exactly right. Huh? Gabby is the friend. Hey, Gabby. Katrina is the boss.

[00:42:39] I thought they were one in the same. Nope, Katrina and Gabby two different people who is who's Bennett sister Gabby Gabby's. Yeah, I even know she had a boss. I thought it was the family company.

[00:42:54] Gina's one of the things she does art and honestly thought they were all the same person. Really? Yeah. Well, any whom her friend Gabby shows up and is like, hey, my brother Bennett, who is a famous aerialist is coming into town.

[00:43:11] Maybe your top five aerialists of all time. Danny Tamburino. Leo Carnile. We all know those two Tamburino and Carnile we know and after that good luck. Frankie Fills. Frankie Fills? Leslie Lodo. Are they all illiterate? Yeah. And Carmichael Capps. Carmichael Capps? All literate is also one of them.

[00:43:37] Yeah, yeah. Which was really funny. I thought there was some pretty good humor and he was being a real jerk. He was being super mean and she was relentless and she cracked that nut. I would say that you've got to be able to say that a different way.

[00:43:52] There has to be so many ways to say that. That hard exterior shell. She just got right in there and was like, break it open. We're going to have feelings talk and it's going to be great. That scene I thought was really good.

[00:44:05] Yeah, HR is on the line for this episode. Just keep them waiting next to the whale guy. Would you say it's like you with a Hershey kiss with almonds? How you just worked all the way around that? No, no. By the way. I wouldn't say that. It's insane.

[00:44:24] You just suck on it. I don't. You guys made that part up. I said I bite the chocolate around the nut. No, I don't think bite was ever in there. I do think you said you lick around the nut. Aaron, turn your camera on.

[00:44:40] A lot of people know. I don't think I said that. I don't think I said that. Exactly. We'll have to check the tape on that. I definitely said it. I don't think I said that. You just bite around the nut. I don't lick the nut.

[00:44:58] Why would I do it if I have an allergy? I don't want to consume it. I just. It's just weird. There are so many avenues for you to get chocolate that don't involve eating around a nut.

[00:45:10] I said it's a unique way to limit your chocolate consumption a little bit. If you're looking at, you know, you have a. So you're doing this to cut back. Part of it is like, hey, I feel a little bit better about myself that I'm eating a full.

[00:45:22] Do you find yourself eating chocolate uncontrollably and just want to stop? If you want a bounce. I got a new diet for you. It's called suck around a nut. It's when you put Hershey kiss in your mouth with almond in it. Suck around it. Spit out almond.

[00:45:41] It's less chocolate. Give the almond to your friends. If someone who likes them. I don't know, but just in case. I mean, I go back to the episode. You can lose me on the friends. The friend. Remind me not to eat the nuts in this office. No kidding.

[00:46:09] The Way Home Season 2 Episode 2. Hanging by a moment here with you. January 31st, 2024. But imagine someone coming into your house soaking wet and saying, hey, Papa squat on my leather couch. Totally cool with me. Elliot, you're a villain. Just an insane answer to throw them up.

[00:46:35] Not a towel. It's like a it's like a wool blanket. Like that. It's just so many choices made there. If you're soaking wet, I'm going to be like, could you stay and sit stand over there outside? We'll talk out there. You're not sitting on a leather couch.

[00:46:54] You're not getting anywhere near code on to with your with your soaking wet jeans. Get out of here. Border unless their farm is right on the border of America and Canada, then none of that talk holds water.

[00:47:06] And it's a weird time to place this story when you don't really have the history to back it up. And maybe I'm wrong and somebody can correct me, but that is my understanding of the war of 1812. That's all I got. Awesome. Thank you, man. No, no, no.

[00:47:22] I knew it was good. I knew it was good when I was saying we were all in. We're all out tomorrow. I'll roll up in my truck and roll down the window. So I guess you heard about 1812. Heard about the war.

[00:47:33] No, there was impressment on the high seas. But also the British were making guns in Canada. I stop me whenever you. It's ridiculous. All right. You know about Francis Scott Key? You know, hey, that is the war of 1812. Nicely done. It's music related. Yeah. Battle of Fort McHenry.

[00:47:53] Don't care about the war. I do know about the song. I do know if it's a music related. I got that history down. February 1st, 2024. We got scars by Anne Griffin. Danny Griffin sounds like someone who's always eight. I'm Danny Griffin. I'm Danny Griffin. Does anyone got Skittles?

[00:48:14] This is my own personal spit on the news. Welcome to my YouTube channel. Smash that subscribe button. Don't forget to like and subscribe. I'm Danny Griffin. Danny Griffin. On the news. Great job, Danny. Thank you. They're twins. They're twins. They're both named Danny Griffin. Hi, I'm Danny.

[00:48:40] I'm Danny too. Brother sister twins. Today on the Upper East Side. We thought the ice cream truck was coming. It wasn't. It wasn't. Turns out it was just some weird guy playing ice cream tunes. Extra, extra subscribe. Like. 1895. The New York elite have decamped. De what?

[00:49:11] Is there a hyphen there? Decamped. D-E-C-A-M-P-E-D. Decamped. Decamped. What's the next? They've decamped to Newport, Rhode Island. There's DeForest. There's Decamped. For the summer of 2021. Decamped. For the summer of balls. Garden parties. Summer of balls. I wonder what it's hot as. What are you talking about? I'm reading.

[00:49:44] Merry Christmas. Play the outro. We've gone on way too long already. Let me get through this. I'm starting with movies and mysteries. I got nothing. I got nothing out of that. Decanter. How are you buddy? I'm doing great.

[00:50:04] I have decamped so many times, I can't get over it. And the summer of balls don't get me started. What are your thoughts on this movie? Well, it sounds like there is some intrigue, some murder, some mischief even. I love some mischief. You said you had a question?

[00:50:18] I do not have a question today. Thank you Decanter. Thank you for your time and service. Service like military service. I was not saying thank you for that. He's a vet. I'm not a vet. I'm a veterinarian.

[00:50:34] I tend to save one for the end and I'm glad I didn't save it for the end. This movie sounds like boring and then they try to do way too much. I try to hold off on the cream as long as possible.

[00:50:42] Yeah, wait as long as you can anyway. Just wrestling with that. Yeah. What? You just wait as long as you can. You don't want to cream too early. That's right. It's a struggle. I'll go through quills on this. No cream. Danny. Brett Brady. Paging Mr. Darcy. Nope.

[00:51:10] Will Kemp, February 2nd, 2024. 100%. After Will's admission to being only lukewarm on Hallmark movies, I feel like, you know, there's nowhere to go from there. I don't buy that for a second. I think he's a bigger fan than I am. But if he's not, then this middle chair.

[00:51:26] That's true. We got a chair. We'll put it right here and you can come if the acting somehow the acting and dancing doesn't work out for you. We can we, you know, South Carolina might be in your future. Bless you guys.

[00:51:40] I can imagine myself sandwiched between the two of you and it wouldn't be pretty. We should all stay where we are. And of course, I'm a big fan of Hallmark. Of course, of course, you are. We want to get that squared away.

[00:51:52] But we are going to cut that clip of you being sandwiched between us. Use that. We should definitely have. It's gonna be really good. Take that. If if I grew up and I did ballet, please relate your experience to Will Kemp's. No, no, no.

[00:52:13] This is leading to a question. I eat a pop tart every day at 10 o'clock. I do. And honestly, you are. You are interrupting by pop tart o'clock and it's fine. If I grow it growing up in Florida, did ballet my my buddies would have ragged on me.

[00:52:30] And your buddies would have ragged on you. Is it just different over there or did your did your buddies rag on you? I think it is different where we're obviously an advanced speed. Right. You're doing great. I want to talk about the Scorpion King for. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:52:52] One, because our buddy Victor Webster was in that movie and we've had him on and he told some insane stories. Oh, my God. Of the Scorpion King for like almost dying on the set.

[00:53:04] Is ACL got thrown off an elephant and then did another take like the dude's crazy. So I mean, it's all an exaggeration. Right. Big stuff. This big Canadian guy lifts lots of weight. You know, all the girls love him. He's got a dog. He's also very sensitive.

[00:53:24] Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's really in real life if you meet him. Right. He's not that he's not really that imposing. You know, he's not that big. He's got a very high. The worst. No, I love I will meet me under the mistletoe. February 5th, twenty twenty four.

[00:53:43] Reese's and as it does. God, the table, though, that we sit at all the time to take lunch. Yes. All the back here. This is the war room. You know, this is where we just like we're grinding.

[00:53:57] We never take a break and go, what a day we would never eat at this table. We would never eat at this table. No, the podcast. No, because that's the thing. Like once you start eating at the podcast table, then you start podcasting at the table.

[00:54:09] It's a whole mess. You got to leave your work at work. You got to leave your boundaries. And once you start eating wings, this job man will eat you alive. You're not careful. That's exactly right. Just like Ali wings. Not at this table.

[00:54:25] Mr. Darcy, February 6th, twenty twenty four. Darling, it's your friend Brian and I love Hallmark. Love you. Every films. Hello, darling. I like Hallmark. Love you. I don't know where that went. That's me, Dan. I despise the Darcy films in this. It's a Hallmark podcast. Pip.

[00:54:50] Now if you think for one second that these hats were not form fitted, laser measured for our heads, you would be mistaken. Because if you think that we all got the same size hat on, you are wrong. This is one of those movie tricks, right?

[00:55:08] It's like the fourth perspective. This is a camera trick. Yeah, yeah. Brian's head is not eight sizes too big. You finally got that magic trick down. I got my box of tricks. Anybody have a card? Pick a card. It's time for Mr. Darcy four segments.

[00:55:28] We're going to start with a hot take. I'm going to start with big hat, small head over here. You know the men in black when they shoot the guy's head off and it grows back and it's really small. That's you. That's me. Brian, this was...

[00:55:43] You're a hat factory. That hat is eating your head alive. It's nothing I can do. You are just a nose and a microphone. That's all you got. That's unbelievable. There's no use in fighting back. This hat has taken over. But the tummy tap's a problem.

[00:56:03] The guy knows what he's doing. What about the knee? If you're sitting down, he was up. You can do that fully erect. You can do that. There's got to be a better way. You can do that while standing. You can say it like that. You can do that.

[00:56:20] You can tap your leg while standing. You can tap your leg fully erect. That is accurate. Also while you're not erect. If we're getting scientific about it... I can't say anything nowadays. Not like that. If you say it like that, we have to talk about it.

[00:56:37] I think it's about how you say it. The tummy tap is a good move. The Way Home Season 2, Episode 3. February 7th, 2024. This episode didn't... If this were a relay race, this may be fumbled the stick a little bit there in the relay race of The Way Home.

[00:56:56] One of the worst analogies I've ever heard. I actually don't think it's that bad. If you... If season 2... If season 2 were a relay race... If season 2 were a relay race... ...was handing the baton or the stick, as you so eloquently called it, to episode 3. Episode 3 fumbled the stick.

[00:57:16] A little bit. A little bit of a stick fumbling. Not full on the ground. It's just like, uh-oh. You know, you kind of slow down a little bit. It wasn't a great handoff. It wasn't a great handoff. That's exactly right. That's exactly right.

[00:57:33] I have a couple of things really quickly. One, I'm sinking... I'm sorry, I'm swimming. I'm going to swim both of these things. One, when I first saw... I love it and I want to, but I can't. I don't have time. Slowly I've become the one with the mud.

[00:57:55] But if I can't swim after 40 days, I can't do this. We don't have time. Dead on. Gilded Newport Mysteries murder at the... February 8th, 2024. Confusing week. Wait until you see who we interview tomorrow. And where. You may imagine if we pulled the ghost out of...

[00:58:19] You've received a collect call. He's in prison. He's Cody Friss' roommate. Yes, exactly right. Cody Friss. Are you on the line? How's it going everybody? Alexander's a B. I call him Alexander Graham B because he's a B. What's up guys?

[00:58:39] You're starting to sound a little bit like Henrik. On the nines? He's been listening to a problem. He didn't even have a message from you. He said, Cody, I love you so much. I love you so much, Henrik. What's up guys?

[00:58:53] Do you have any ultimate Frisbee announcements for us? I've been working on so many ultimate Frisbee things. What's the ultimate Frisbee for us? The President's Day Frisbee. Get him out of here. Yeah, that's coming up. Is that a political statement, Cody? No. The President's Day Fitness.

[00:59:11] Get him out of here. How does that work? Basically, the goal is to play Frisbee and get as many people to think that I am real. It's tough. That's a big ask. It's tough to know that you, yourself, are real. Or that you are real.

[00:59:29] No, the number one step of getting over this hump called life is to know that you are real. That's how you get over the hump called life? Are you supposed to throw a Frisbee at some point? What's the other one, Cody? You guys remember Groundhog Day?

[00:59:43] It just happened. It just happened, yeah. I mess up my days. It's going to be March 2nd. Groundhog Day Frisbee spectacular. Okay. We play Frisbee with a bunch of groundhogs. Yeah, man. Peeta's pissed. Peeta's not happy about this. I can see that.

[01:00:05] The groundhogs have fun though, at least, I hope. They have so much fun until they don't. So Peeta's got to chill out. Oh, until they don't. Maybe Peeta's got a point. Cody, thank you so much for doing all the Lord's work there from prison.

[01:00:17] I love you so much. Love you too, buddy. I'm going to go to the bathroom real fast. How about that? They put her brother in jail only to find out that the jail is at the Ritz Carlton with a window inside it.

[01:00:32] I don't like top 10 places to put a jail cell where you know something shady's going to happen. Number one is window. Number one is door or window in or around your cell. And if you want to tell me there are bars in between him and the window, yes.

[01:00:48] But anyone could sneak in any manner of things. For instance, Brian said a gun. Brian said a Kit Kat bar. At the same time, Brian's like, yeah, you can still sneak stuff up there. And Brian's like a gun and Brian's like a Kit Kat bar.

[01:01:05] And both are true. What's Stacey Ann Harding, February 9th, 2024? And a year and a half later, I directed the final episode of Mystery 101. It was an offer that hit kind of hallmark.

[01:01:19] Yeah, I saw that on the IMDb and you know that ended on a cliffhanger and they're never making another one. So how do you sleep at night? Just like, you know, as someone who's taking all the blame for that, how do you sleep at night, Stacey?

[01:01:32] I mean, you know, it's taken me some time. A lot of white noise, you know, those therapy apps have come in really heavy. Yeah, that's so interesting. That's so interesting that it's all your fault. You worked on an Air Bud movie.

[01:01:48] Not only an Air Bud movie, the sequel that went to theater, Brian. Golden Receiver. How dare you? Thank you for convincing. What was Bud like in real life? He's everything you dreamed he'd be.

[01:02:04] I hear he's not as good a football player as the movie would lead you to believe. Shut your mouth! And I hear the AD helped a lot there. The second one in particular. Yeah, that's exactly right. Merry Little Batman February 12th, 2024. I'm Alonzo and I am Christmas night.

[01:02:24] And this is the Dick Hallmark Package. What happened to our video? Boss Baby made a Christmas special. That was fun. Well, we're back. We're talking about what was that, Rick? The Boss Baby. Is there? Yeah, he's full of festive yuletide cheer.

[01:02:42] And he's still a boss, still a baby, but Christmas. Still a boss, still a baby, still Christmas. Alonzo, what in this sweet, sweet animated Batman movie made you go, wait, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, what? That would have been it.

[01:03:00] Love and Jane February 13th, 2024. Hey, I'm Brian, welcome. I'm Jane Alston. And I love Hallmark Jane Alston movies. I'm not doing it. Hey, I'm Brian. Not Jane Alston. I'm doing brand doing Jane Alston. I like Hallmark Jane Alston movies. I'm Dan. I'm not in the mood today.

[01:03:24] No, do it. I'm Dan. I'm Brian doing brand doing a British accent. I despise Jane Alston movies. I despise Jane Alston movies. Because you want to publish my book because you're my gentleman caller. Hello. Hey, gentleman caller, how are you? You got another one? I've got so many.

[01:03:49] Give me one. Hey, what are you wearing? Green Hallmark shirts and jeans. Likely story. All right. Thank you, buddy. Your hat is too small. You're watching on Philo. What? It's a prank call from a long time ago. What's the punchline? You better let him out.

[01:04:18] I love the gentleman caller. You have Jim Beam in the bottle? Yes. You'd better let him out as well. What about my water? Do you have aqua fina in the water? You could have just said aqua fina. Oh, no, no. The Fido family insists.

[01:04:37] You'd better let her out. Tall, dark and deadly. February 14th, 2024. He downed it like a shot but with also tongue. Right. And this reminded me of the time that I drank out of the same cup with Andrew Walker. That didn't happen at Bramble Fest, did it? It did.

[01:04:59] So this literal scene happened at Bramble Fest. Andrew Walker was Alice and I was the stalker. You didn't smell the cup, right? You didn't shrug it, though. I did remember that. Did you smell the cup?

[01:05:12] I didn't smell the cup but I may have put my lips on it fully. So, still there. Manifold rules. I don't know what to tell you. Alice is a lawyer but she's a real estate lawyer. Not as helpful as you would think. She's like the chiropractors of doctors.

[01:05:34] I'm just kidding. Before, I just want to be very clear, real estate attorneys are— It's like you were telling me earlier, they're the elementary teachers of teachers. That's what you said. You said that earlier today. Wow.

[01:05:50] It's like you were telling me they're the Coast Guard of the armed services. Well, yeah. Sing the Coast Guard song. They're the Tom Sandoval of the Vanderpump Rules. Love by Design, February 15th, 2024. Tell the people what's going on in your life. I'm doing great.

[01:06:10] I'm just sitting here with my vision board. Amazing. And part of this vision board is trying to get a movie on UP TV this year, which I don't know how you feel about that after watching this one. You can see all of my game face.

[01:06:23] Walk us through what all these— Is that someone from Twilight in the top left corner there? No, that's Andrew Walker. Not Andrew Walker. Wow. He's on the brain. No, that's—oh my gosh. I don't think it's going to work out. I don't think it's going to happen.

[01:06:42] I love him. I want to call him Andrew Goldwasser, who's the guy I did theater with. Andrew, oh my god. Can you show us the picture again a little bit better? Andrew Garfield. Guys, I'm so sorry. Jacks did not know the name of Andrew Garfield. Andrew Garfield.

[01:07:00] Out of order. And here's the thing, he listens to this show too, so any chance— what are you trying to do with Andrew Garfield? You know, I met him on a plane. He helped me put my luggage up in the compartment I was coming back from on TPAs.

[01:07:18] And he was so nice. Yeah, they say Chivalry is dead. But why is he on your vision board? Oh, because I'd like to work with him. Oh, okay. Fortune? Is that just like you want to make money? I want to make money.

[01:07:33] Then I have, really importantly, Parverde and Mae Martin. They're now dating, but Mae Martin's my favorite comedian. Parverde is one of my favorite Survivor players and now is doing an amazing job on Traitors. I've never heard of them.

[01:07:46] You said so many names and I'm so happy for them. She led the Black Widow Brigade. I'm just saying, she— She led the Black Widow Brigade. And you haven't stopped talking about that. Black Widow Brigade.

[01:08:00] We have Keisar Ray right here, who I love and want to work with. Keisar Ray is a genius. What's the other corner opposite Andrew Garfield? Who's that guy? Oh, Donald Glover. Donald Glover, of course. What's the Gambino doing on there? You want to be on his next album?

[01:08:15] I just want to hang out with him. I also do. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a fun time. If you've not watched it. I'm really excited to watch that. I also love Maya from 1015. Yeah, she's great. She's unbelievable. They're so good together. Their chemistry is wild.

[01:08:34] Why is that couple— I don't really understand your board. So they're queer icons. And as a queer woman, I'm excited about queer icons. They're two people that I loved independently that are now together. And I want to be in their orbit. Okay.

[01:08:49] Trying to create a bigger queer community for myself. Yes, of course. Wait, is your vision board just people you want to hang out with? This is where we're getting to. I don't know if you know what a vision board is. It says television on it. What's fresh? Fresh?

[01:09:04] Oh, just that my skin continues to look good. What else? Give me— There's a couple of— It says Mariska Hargitay. I've been having a lot of Law & Order auditions, but haven't booked a wine. Oh, this is your year. What's our show? They're turning you down for Law & Order?

[01:09:21] They've been— But all that being said, they were roles that I'm okay with not booking because they were all moms of 18-year-olds. Oh! So I was like, I feel like I'm— Especially with your fresh skin. Yeah. She doesn't stand a chance.

[01:09:41] Everyone at Bramble Fest tells Jax that her skin is looking fresh. So fresh. And then I'll know that my vision board is coming true. That's right. And what's our show? We've been pitching. Yeah, we've been in that process. Always be pitching. But I gotta say,

[01:09:59] I really liked the two leads. I thought they were really great together. What? I really like Joey Lawrence. I thought he was a lot of fun. This movie is insane. This movie is my favorite movie of the year. I had a blast with a capital B.

[01:10:16] Big fun for Bran. Give me love. Give me love by design over any Jane Austen movie this month, and I haven't even seen two of them. So what you need to know, first of all, is it's not fair.

[01:10:32] The Jane Austen movies are predisposed for Bran not to like them. They're about a book. But the other thing is, and I need to be very clear, is this movie Bran loves not because qualitatively it's great, but because it has that zany, absurdist quality

[01:10:47] that drew Bran to these movies to begin with. I think that's the thing you need to know about that take. Before all you Bran stans rush off to see this movie, it doesn't hold up in any capacity. Bran loved it because you literally from scene to scene

[01:11:03] did not know what was going to happen. That's what Bran loved about it. So, because Jax looked like she had to be somewhere, anywhere but here. And I need to be clear. You need to buy this movie. You need to play anymore.

[01:11:17] And so you've got that going on. You've got a mom who is villain of the century in this movie. She is world's worst human. And having a scale in the kitchen, she makes her adult daughters... What? You don't think the mom is a villain?

[01:11:34] I 100% I think the worst human in this movie by far is the sister. Jax! Mom stole the dog! I cannot say on this podcast that I won't say that I am just like about that sister. I was like, this, she is the worst. The sister's terrible.

[01:11:53] But Jax, mom stole a dog. Yeah, stole someone's dog. Mom coming from a... But the wrong thing for the right reasons. The sister is just an animal. The kitchen scale? The kitchen scale, Jax? She has a scale in her kitchen. She makes her adult daughters stand on

[01:12:10] apparently every morning. Because she knew what her previous weight was by the exact number, looked down and said, you've lost five pounds! And again, I don't blame her. I blame the patriarchy. But the patriarchy did a real number on her and she became a terrible villain.

[01:12:30] Doc Ock, that would be like saying I blame science. Yes! Yeah! Science is the root cause. I still think the sister is worse. I still think the sister is worse. She's so mean! The sister is so mean! Wait a minute though. She doctors a scale.

[01:12:48] She steals a dog to this guy, brings the vision board over on purpose and then never ever comes clean. Never apologizes. Never tells her what she's done. I don't think she's a great person. Oh, she's awful. I think villain of the century,

[01:13:08] I still think the sister is worse. Wow! I think the double-deckers will be split on this. But I invite them to let us know what they think. That mom is a treat. That mom is like just the worst of the worst of the worst of the worst.

[01:13:22] On the way home, diving into fan theories February 16th, 2024. And listen, I know everybody is waiting for me to press the button. I broke the soundboard that it was loaded on. The soundboard that has that button on it that would be perfect for such a time as this.

[01:13:38] So I have to make the transfer over and I apologize because I don't have that. We don't have it. We don't have the audio. Yeah, I have this. I'm lonely. Oh! That's from a deck that don't... I'm lonely. Oh, stop it. The way she says...

[01:14:02] She's clearly singing, right? What? I'm lonely. The whole... The whole bit of that was that's a line of dialogue that's given not as a song in that movie. One more time. Here it is from the top. What? I'm glad I have that. That line of dialogue is delivered

[01:14:30] as if there is... like she's not supposed to be singing. Lonely. It was a bit. No, it was a real movie that we turned into a bit. Yeah. So, at the very least we have that. The Naughty Nine, February 19th, 2024. When they finally get into the workshop

[01:15:00] they take a step back and they see this wall of moving letters and what not. It turns out that's the naughty list constantly updating. And I got to be honest, the naughty list seems pretty glorified in the North Pole they have an entire wall

[01:15:20] of a in real time updating naughty list. Is there a nice list anywhere to be found? No. It's the North Pole hell. Maybe. But in this case it would be the equivalent of getting to heaven and the sky is a constantly updating list of who's in hell.

[01:15:42] Like, you just... no nice list. What if the presumption is that all children are nice except the ones on the naughty list? Does that make it less, like, terrible? If the idea is that we're taking it as a given. We're taking it for granted that all children everywhere

[01:16:04] on the good list except for these miscreants. But do you want that to be the first thing that you see when you walk into the workshop? I mean, look, they're not giving tours. This is a strictly internal thing. Usually there's one kid who's on the naughty list for...

[01:16:23] One of your boys? No, one of the kids in this movie, How Dare You. Sam is not real. One of the kids in the movie who's on the naughty list because he over, basically he overuses his cuteness or uses it to get things he shouldn't. Abuses his cuteness.

[01:16:43] So if I ask for things and if I say, son, the answer is no. He will go, man, I was trying to use my cuteness. He literally will say that to me which is adorable and I love him for it and it makes me want to give him

[01:17:01] the thing he's asking for. My kids started saying sucker because of this movie so it's been great. But my kids referenced this movie this week An American in Austin, which is a great movie and it's called Except No Other. I did ask, we were watching a movie today

[01:17:21] and I asked Brandon how much I'd have to pay him to grind up some of the sweetheart chalk and snort it like a rail of drugs and he said, I hate that feeling, it drives me crazy, probably $100. Really? Which is my favorite answer ever.

[01:17:41] There's a lot in that answer. At least that's what he's telling people now. I have snorted Pixie Stix. That's what they call it on the streets of Titusville, Florida. His name McNasty has nothing to do with basketball. Yeah, that's right, man. Pixie Stix.

[01:17:57] I'd snort anything and it was nasty. It was McNasty. And I would do it at a McDonald's parking lot. That's McNasty, there it is. Yeah, 100 bones, maybe a little bit more, I don't know. Somebody Venmo me. You gotta get it in Super Course. Yeah, Super Fine.

[01:18:17] Do you want it in Course? No, I want it fine. I want it fine. With Mr. Darcy. She gets in the cab, dozes off, wakes up in horse and buggy. Did you say horse and buggy? That would be bad. I did not. Okay, good, that'd be really uncomfortable.

[01:18:39] What's your favorite Jane Austen book? Persuasion. It's a guide to how to persuade people into buying a 4'2". It's very helpful. Hasn't worked on me. Well, you'll get that as soon as you understand the benefits. What is it? What is it?

[01:18:59] It is the ability to grill and broil at different temperatures on four different surfaces at twice the speed that you would normally do. I didn't know there was a broiling aspect of the 4'2". It's a new you. Are you persuaded yet? Can you do four things? For two?

[01:19:21] But you can only fit two. There's four surfaces for two. I'll get it one day. You know like a baseball mitt? Yes. Turn it inside out. You got to loosen the strings a little. And then add a broiler. That is as clear as you've ever been

[01:19:40] on the 4'2". Can I ask you a quick question? I would love that. Love you too. You'd love me too? I would love you too. Here's what happened. I would love you too. My question was, I actually heard that you would do anything for love.

[01:20:00] I would do anything for love and here's what you need to know though. I won't do that. What? That was the one thing. I'd do anything for love. Won't do that. I'd do anything for love. Can you pay your bill? I need to leave.

[01:20:20] Now, we know that Alice is a terrible server. This is the time in the podcast where your good old buddy, Dame, will tell you that all of those folks are working really, really hard and you need to tip well and I try my best to do that.

[01:20:34] Even servers that have not done their best. Maybe they had a bad day. You still throw them some money. That's not my experience with you. That's worse than the American flag on the truck. That's a good observation. A taste of love, February 22nd, 2024. Fascinating. Tough ticket.

[01:20:52] You've had a conversation with Jeb. I have had a conversation with Jeb. You looked at me and you said, I love Jeb Bush. I did not say that. That's when you put your gun rack up on the truck. Between the flag and the gun rack

[01:21:06] and the don't tread on me sticker. You'll get that later. Later, that's going to kill or not at all. Yesterday. Man, we are call back. Jeb Bush could not be a nicer human being in my one experience with him. In your one 22nd experience with Jeb Bush.

[01:21:22] No, it was during a commercial break at the debate and no one else wanted to talk to him. Literally, we were hanging out. Waving his brow for him? He did ask, do you want a selfie? Please clap. Remember, please clap. Classic. Classic line.

[01:21:44] During years where there is normal debates with normal candidates and it's all happening as it normally does. During commercial breaks, they just kind of wander. They just kind of wander around. Stretch the legs a little bit. Some go back and get some powder. Some hairspray. Jeb, old Jeb,

[01:22:05] does anyone want a picture? Who wants a selfie with old Jeb? Jebediah. Jebediah Bush. Jebediah. Did you get a selfie? Is his name Jebediah? It can't be. It's probably just Jeb. Jebediah Bush. What are we doing here? Jebediah Bush. Texans, they're cutting it short. Jebediah. John Ellis.

[01:22:34] John Bush. John Ellis makes a lot more sense. My name is John Ellis. Here it is. Phenomenal. I literally said my boy Jeb with the photobombs. He just wanted to end the picture. Did you tag him? You should tag him now.

[01:22:54] Jeb's going to get that and be like, whoa, you just made Jebediah's day. I'm going to go home and churn some butter. Here's the thing is that was as seamless a way to check off the Jeb Bush box as I thought we were going to.

[01:23:10] I knew we had to do it today. It was really clunky and weird. How do we mention Jeb Bush in today's episode? It was super natural. Smooth. The redemption arc in Cobra Kai plays so strongly into my... There is no redeeming sense of creed.

[01:23:26] 100%. He's back on my good side. No, he was never on my good side. Like a literal child abuser. Just letting you know right now. Times were different, Dan. Okay. Alright. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Brad, do you have any feels? Dan Janot. Janot. February 23rd, 2024.

[01:23:52] I knew that eventually someone was going to come along and convince me that Hallmark movies were the real deal. It sounds like Dan Janot is up for the challenge. To be fair, I've liked some of recent. I could be convinced.

[01:24:04] We've got Pride and Prejudice coming out this weekend. Sense and Sensibility. I know that you think all Jane Austen novels are the same because you hate women. But I just... I hate most women. That's... Put it on the record. I can't be on this show.

[01:24:22] Love to start with the basics of the actor going back to their childhood. I do want to get this out of the way. On your IMDB, it does... Under the Did You Know section, it says your trademark is your dark green eyes. Wow. Man, I can see them.

[01:24:40] Can you... I did not write that. I did not write that. I wouldn't have said I had dark green eyes. Get real close right now for the folks watching on Philo. Man, they look better. That's a trademark. Lighter green? I think it's lighter.

[01:25:00] You said you wanted to go back to the beginning. So you want to know how did I end up genetically with green eyes? Correct. I would love for you to give me your parents' eye color if you don't mind. My first question is really going to hit home

[01:25:14] for the people listening to the podcast. There's a clock behind you that is doing the thing where it kind of goes like this. It hasn't moved. The actual hands themselves. What's up with that? Are you saying that throughout our interview you've been watching the clock?

[01:25:36] You've been so bored by one way or another. No, no, no. Brandon hates women and is bored by our guests. I am not bored of Dan Janet at all. What I'm saying... Don't do that to my name. What I'm saying...

[01:25:51] The T&OT family is going to be so upset at you. What I'm saying is I noticed it at first and I was like, oh, the time's wrong. And then I noticed at the time maintained its wrong spot for the duration of the interview

[01:26:05] despite the ticking of the clock. Yeah, so you want an answer for that? It's our time. I love it. It's a great answer. That's an easy rapid fire. I hadn't noticed that the clock was not ticking at the right time. It's a beautiful piece. Xmas, February 26th, 2024.

[01:26:26] That's very funny. Dan? Yeah, I didn't initially have all the feels. And then you know what? I had an ice cold Heineken straight from the fridge. It wasn't just... In drinking that Heineken not only did I come up with the feels but I also heard they have

[01:26:48] a low-cal, low-carb Heineken Silver. They do. And it's in one of those slim cans. So I had one of those and then I realized that I need to alarm my house with ADT. This movie goes harder for Heineken than Travis goes for Taylor.

[01:27:07] It goes so hard for Heineken. So hard for Heineken. Like this movie has Heineken in no less than a dozen scenes prominently displayed. Can this movie be nominated for a Deckey since we reviewed it in 2024? It deserves the Decky. This should win the Decky for product placement.

[01:27:32] We told them about the fancy shoes. We're changing the rules. Can we change them back? Yes. You can email Sheila and Elizabeth because you just changed the rules. No movie's going to beat it. You said the 2023 Monday movies with Alonzo do not count. Why not?

[01:27:52] Because they didn't all air out. They didn't come out that year but we reviewed them this year and it's tough because then you got to review all of them. Can we nominate Madam Web for the giant Pepsi neon? Suddenly it matters a lot. Before we were like,

[01:28:09] we don't care. 2023 movie, why would we get a Decky for 2024? Suddenly it matters a lot. You need to know guys, it's the only beer anyone drinks all movie long. In every refrigerator there's a six pack. There's Heineken, there's Heineken light, there's Heineken silver.

[01:28:33] It makes the daisy cottage cheese and it's like, I've not had a Heineken in years. I was thinking about the fact that maybe it was unbelievable. Not since Blue Velvet has Heineken had such pride of place. That's right. Of course I do. Blue Velvet.

[01:28:55] Well, I think that movies have the power to teach people to do better, to be better people. I really hope that folks are familiar with the polite way to turn down a three way. Because I think in a lot of these movies,

[01:29:14] for years the go-to would have been ick, there's a guy, no thank you. And Stephen Amell knocks his drink back. Robbie Amell. Robbie, sorry, one of them. The Amell we get here. All the arrow stands are out to get you right now, Alonzo. Sorry, I can't.

[01:29:32] Anyway, he knocks his drink back and is like, yeah, no, no, can't do it. It's me, it's not you. And that's the polite way to do it. It doesn't have to have this moment of gay panic. It doesn't have to be like

[01:29:45] a how dare you assume I would want to. It's just like, gonna pass. Not my thing. So I would like to see more of that in the world of sort of showing people the polite way to extricate yourself from situations without having to be gross about it.

[01:30:01] Yeah, we had released our own tutorial on that. We do it to ourselves all the time. You and I have been invited to so many threesomes. Y'all can't leave the house without. It's unbelievable, quite frankly. It's why we didn't go to Christmas Con this year. It was the...

[01:30:15] Sense and Sensibility, February 27th, 2024. Baby! I can feel you kiss from a rope. Two, that horse is emo. Fertilizer. I'm excited to see that My Chemical Romance is going back on tour with that horse with hair down the front. When I was a young horse,

[01:30:38] my father rode me into the city to pick up some more hay. He said, Son Wynn, you're a big horse. You might meet somebody named Rick Dilby and he'll call you a horse. The Way Home, season two, episode five, February 28th, 2024. They brought his pickup truck down

[01:31:06] onto the sand right there. They talk, they flirt, and they get... Nearly Nude! Let's go! Sound the alarm, sound the nearly nude alarm. You know the sound. Thank you. Dominic the donkey. Crime time, free fall, February 29th, 2024. Cop Sean shows up, and they're both like, well, hello there.

[01:31:36] Hello there. Decanter? Yes, hello! How you doing buddy? I heard hello there, which is my bat signal. I came running. How are you bud? I'm doing splendid, how about you Brandon? Doing great. Brian, yourself? Very good, yeah. Not so much, but I did hear hello there

[01:31:59] and thought I would just pop my head right in and say it's good to see you fine boys this day. So thoughtful. Anything we can help you with? I just bought a set of commemorative plates. Wow, fancy. Of what? Commemorative plates. It commemorates something.

[01:32:17] Right, what are you commemorating? Well, here's the first, it's the walk on the moon. That's a nice plate. That's a great plate. Yeah, one small step for man, one small town for Dan. You don't think that there's a historic nature to the first step on the moon?

[01:32:33] It's only the most important thing in the history of our planet. One small step for man, one small town for Dan. That's right. Well seeing as how it didn't happen to Canter, I don't really know what will. Oh, I've got to leave hello there to you sir.

[01:32:49] Hello there to you as well. She's going to head to a small town. I was born in a small town. Yeah? I got nothing against a big town though. You need to know that right up front. You've spent the last three minutes

[01:33:03] telling me what you have against a big town. Nothing against a big town, but I was born in a small town. Your preference would be a small town. Yeah, but listen, if you asked me to talk crap about big towns, I would say no.

[01:33:17] I don't begrudge anybody a big town. And nothing against them. I'm just saying it's not what it seems. Nothing against a big town. Say one nice thing about a big town. I got nothing against them. Right, that's generous. It doesn't mean I have to say something positive.

[01:33:34] It just means that I have nothing against a big town. And legally that's all you can say about it. What about a little big town? Oh, I have plenty against a little big town. But also, I'll die in a small town. You better, that's good enough for me.

[01:33:48] I'll die in one. Don't say I won't. Don't you, don't you, don't, don't, don't. I'll die in a small town. Why would you think I would think you'd die in a big town if you haven't said one nice thing about a big town?

[01:34:01] I know you don't have anything against it. But I'll die in a small town. I'll die in one. Nothing against a big town. Then go die in one. I'll die in a small town. Really does grab you. And then there just happens to be

[01:34:17] a murder when she gets to the small town. But I'll die in one, but that's neither here nor there. I was going to ask you. I'll die in one. So if you fell from a plane and landed on the ground,

[01:34:31] you'd want it to be in a small town. I will die in a small town. So if you jump from, with a parachute of course, your parachute doesn't open. Stop trying to make this about big towns. I'm not making it about big towns.

[01:34:45] You're trying to make this about big towns. You're the one that's actively avoiding big towns. I have nothing against a big town. It can't be true. I will die in one. The regional puddle jumpers, that's all you fly in. They don't go to big towns.

[01:35:01] But what would happen if hypothetically you did die in a big town? I don't know. What else do you need from me? Then just say you don't like big towns. Stop being inconsiderate. You're being inconsiderate right now. I have nothing against a big town. You know that.

[01:35:19] I have nothing against a big town. Dan, the only way for you to promise me that you're going to die anywhere other than a small town is by actively avoiding big towns. I will die in a small town. Say no more. You don't like them.

[01:35:33] We'll be right back here in Back to Homework. You hate big towns. Just say it. I don't quite understand where we go from here aside from the fact that another murder is going to happen in this very small town. That's the thing about small towns.

[01:35:49] I was born in one. Yeah, well, so you get it. You have nothing against the big town. You didn't even talk about Jesus in a small town. Of course you did. I have nothing wrong with the big town, though. Yeah, you have nothing against it either.

[01:36:03] Neither one of us do. I'd personally die in a big town. You wouldn't die in a big town? I don't have anything wrong. There's nothing wrong with the big town. I have nothing against it either, Brian, but I think you've lost the plot a bit.

[01:36:17] It's a March preview show. March 1st, 2024. Being stuck underground for so long. Ryan's colon train. Rhymes, coal, and train. I thought you said Ryan's colon train. No, no, no. That's their couple. Their throat. Yeah, I... Yeah, I want two, three, four. Vroom, vroom.

[01:36:41] Anytime anyone says rev the engine up a bit, we have to do that full sound effect, which is... Which we paid for, unfortunately. We paid for the rev the engine sound effects. Rev the engine sound effects. We did. It's in the archives we bought.

[01:36:57] Yeah, we paid for it. There's nothing we can do. We're not going to lose money on that. No, no. My name is Tickle Tidbitch. Did we pay for that? That came with it, I feel like. It's almost like we took our second break

[01:37:13] and we don't have enough to fill this last... My name is Tickle Tidbitch. Tickle Tidbitch is on the line. Tickle, how's it going, buddy? Tickle Tidbitch. You sell tidbits? I share them. And we bought them? We bought the tidbit of the car revving up its engine from you?

[01:37:31] I have a tidbit for you. Why is your first name Tickle? Tickle Tidbitch. Don't ask about that. Because it's my name. I'll ask you why your name's Dan. That's what my parents' name is. Exactly. Your parents' name, you Tickle? Tickle Tidbitch.

[01:37:51] I didn't sell them, I give them to you for free. You give them to us? Yes. Do you do this for everyone or just for us? Everyone. Everyone gets a tidbit? Okay, cool. Well, what other tidbits have you given away? Lots of them. Such as?

[01:38:11] I like how tall things are. That's a good tidbit. Good to know. Are you ready for a car-related tidbit? I would love a car-related tidbit. Uh-oh, there's an ad. Are you just getting these off of Wikipedia? No! You're just reading, we could do this.

[01:38:29] We could do what you're doing. It's like a surprise tidbit. We don't know what we're getting. It could be really good. A tidbit we never found. It sounds like you're working on this in real time. If you don't want me here, I don't have to.

[01:38:43] I don't want you here. That's all it took? Just real quick, one. There's over one billion vehicles being used around the world. That sounds like too many. Tidbit out! I think we need a fun fact Frankie eater to come in. We don't. That's just an animal.

[01:39:01] It's tentacle tidbit, I'm doing a fun thing. I'm doing a fun boy. Genie, March 4th, 2024. Just going to happen. This is a schmancy restaurant that's too cool to have. I'm just going to back you up, Dan. When we go out to eat, you always...

[01:39:17] I always look at Aaron like, we're all out to eat and I'm always like... They come over and I'm always like... It is just a very, just like riding a bike. Oh, yeah, no, Dan's always like, the lady will have the spaghetti carbonara and a Mountain Dew.

[01:39:29] I always, I don't ask Aaron what she wants, I just order for her. Yeah, I've tried many new things because Dan's just like, this is what you're going to get now. This is what you're ordering now. Here you go. And you're going to like it!

[01:39:41] Pride and Prejudice, March 5th, 2024. Dan, what's up? What's going on, man? Did you find out? The Dame Society? I didn't find out much of anything. I got sent to a voicemail and then they called me back and they just said... Hey, Clip! You've reached the Dame Society.

[01:40:02] We're unable to answer your call because we're either eating, smooching or all of the above. Please leave a message after beep. Okay, so in that clip, a couple of interesting things. First of all, the Dame's way more Southern than I thought they were.

[01:40:19] I think it was just a recording. And they're either eating or smooching. Or both. Or all of the above. And that's another interesting... We also have your voicemail! Hi, Dame Society.

[01:40:34] Just want to know you sent me a letter that I was blacklisted and I just wanted to get a little bit more info. I heard that you had to send me by law. By law. Sorry, I wanted to... Hey, Dame! He's in the background. I love the Dame!

[01:40:52] I love the Dame! By law. It would be nice to have a Dame here in the office. I hope it would. You have so many great possibilities to play that role of the Bennett patriarch. Top five Mr. Bennett's for Mr. Thompson! Bill Nye would have been great.

[01:41:14] Bill Nye the science guy? Bill Nye the science guy, also not British. But would have earned it. Could have, yeah, absolutely pulled that off. Ben Stein? Yeah, Ben Stein as well. Also, inspired choice. Vin Diesel. Elizabeth. Elizabeth, you want to marry Darcy? You may. You got dry eyes.

[01:41:40] He loves Greenville. Ben Stein loves Greenville. The Way Home Season 2, Episode 6, March 6, 2024. Can we do all of you and Alyssa's budgets? Now that you've moved in together? There was a moment. I've been asking about this since we moved in. It was literally Jared.

[01:42:00] Alyssa and Ryan go silent when she talks about this next thing they have to buy, like a new AC unit. He stands up and he's like, I want the VHS! And he walks out. It was kind of like that. I said, hey, what's today babe?

[01:42:13] 375 for the VHS Blurry Player would be ridiculous. And she goes, it's not that it'd be ridiculous, just that we really need a dining room table. Here's the thing. I'm back on the Colton's a horse wagon. I think this episode. We already did Jake and Rick earlier.

[01:42:31] I'm going to save myself out. God bless. I know, listen, I went pretty hard early on in the season. It was like, Colton's a horse. I know, it's silly. Is it silly? You tell me.

[01:42:47] You watch that scene with Del on the horse and you tell me that that horse isn't Colton. You tell me with a straight face. That horse is not Colton. I actually am kind of with you. You're with me. I'd love it. Colton's a horse and Elliot's a villain.

[01:43:03] And I think those are two things that we're all willing to die for. That's how they get the three of us back. That's right. Colton's a horse. Brent, I again hope I'm not infringing on your territory. Here's the thing.

[01:43:19] I wasn't as invested in Nearly Nude as you were last week. You were taking off your shirt. You were taking off your wedding ring, which was a choice. It was a move by you. How Caitlin killed it when you definitely told her.

[01:43:31] I don't think that that is completely accurate. You literally took your ring off as we were talking about Nearly Nude. That was coincidental. You literally took the ring off your favorite play date. I play with it all the time. I've not seen you do it since.

[01:43:50] I do it every day all day. That's the only time I've ever seen it. DTH Oscar ballot predictions? March 7, 2024? The problem is, Brandon, we've just had to listen to the overwhelming majority of people that listen to our podcast. Which is the throngs of people. The songs.

[01:44:07] Nope. Throng, throng, throng, throng. Do you want me to read them? Yeah, go for it. The Creator, Godzilla minus one, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3, Mission Impossible, Dead Reckoning Part 1, and Napoleon. Great, thank you.

[01:44:34] They kind of defer to me on this one, but let's start with Best Short Live Action. Best Short Live Action. The After. Invincible. Knight of Fortune. Red, White, and Blue. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar. You're really liking that, aren't you?

[01:45:01] This voiceover is getting more and more professional. I don't know how we got that guy. I'm not going to make it through this episode. I'm voting Sugar. I'm voting The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.

[01:45:11] And I will just say, I'm not just doing it because they're telling me it's a wonderful story. I'm doing it because of the sugar. Up next is the Best Makeup and Hairstyle. Best Makeup and Hairstyling. We're never going to finish this episode. Golda. Nystro. I hate these words.

[01:45:34] Oppenheimer. Poor things. Satiety of the snow. The consistency with which they are saying Oppenheimer, though, it's like they recorded it. It's unbelievable. It's the same every time. A Christmas Family Secret, March 11th, 2024. Great question.

[01:45:53] She does decide that she's going to go home, and she walks inside and finds out that her dad's dead. Is that the secret? No. That is not the Christmas Family Secret. Our dad's dead. They buried him a couple weeks ago. A couple days ago.

[01:46:12] They tried to call her. They tried to call, whatever. She gets over it almost immediately. We also find out that her mom... You can do it. We also find out that her mom died when she was three in her sleep. Sorry.

[01:46:37] Not funny. That's not funny. It's very serious. She found out that her mom died when she was three in her sleep, and she doesn't know what happened. So they start to investigate. Obviously, first you go to talk to Shady Santa. They go to talk to...

[01:47:02] They go to talk to a Shady Santa. She hears her mom died in her sleep when she was three. We gotta find a tall, lanky, white gentleman in the woods for the Santa Bear Stat. He's like looking around. He's constantly...

[01:47:18] He's gonna get caught for telling this Christmas Family Secret. And he claims... He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you die. And he can sell you drugs, apparently. Yes. There's a few lines in this movie that made me just cackle laughing.

[01:47:37] And at one point, dude is trying to help her with trying to find her biological father. And he's like, what if we use one of those DNA sites? And she's like, yeah, those are helpful, but we would need a real person. And I know after they keep...

[01:47:54] After they talk further, I know what she's trying to say, which is... Figuring it out. We had to do a lot of the legwork here, but we did figure it out.

[01:48:05] We have to have the DNA of someone else from my family in the system in order for that to work. The dad would have to have given his DNA. No, anyone with her similar DNA would have to have given theirs is what she's trying to say.

[01:48:21] But her response to what about those DNA sites is just, well, we would need a real person. As opposed to a fake person like my father. Like I just couldn't believe it. And then there is one scene where he...

[01:48:39] They're while decorating the Christmas or taking down the Christmas tree. And they're remembering the good old days, I guess. And the lines they say to talk about remembering what they did as children are... A madlib is generous. This line actually exists. It is, do you remember the...

[01:48:59] Do you remember the Christmas field day? Do you remember the Christmas field day they were out there betting on a kids' kickball game? It sounds corrupt, man. Why does it sound corrupt? Like someone is at a typewriter going, do you remember the... Hey, give me a holiday. Christmas.

[01:49:25] What was your favorite thing as a kid? Field day. Name of a sport. Kickball. Do you remember the Christmas field day they were out there betting on a kids' kickball game? We get nothing else. That's not... We don't get anything else to that story.

[01:49:43] That's all that we get. Doesn't matter. Which is just fantastic. A royal makeover. March 12th, 2024. The formation of the video game. And the driving in it is excellent. Yeah, I've heard great guys. I will get to it. I'll get to Gran Torino. It's not Oppenheimer Dance I'm watching.

[01:50:06] It's like let me see that bomb drop. Stop forcing. Stop forcing. This movie is... It's a movie that's... It's a movie that's... This movie is... At the very end... Within one year there were three movies about kids playing baseball in the major leagues?

[01:50:27] Yeah, yeah. Little Big League, Rookie of the Year, Angels in the Outfield. Kathy says Little Big League over Angels in the Outfield and Rookie of the Year. That is absolute garbage. Do you know why I know that, Kathy?

[01:50:36] Because I saw all three when they came out. I was 10 or 11. And I couldn't remember the title of Little Big League. That movie isn't even close to the other two. What a year that was for kids. Rookie of the Year, Angels in the Outfield, and Little Big League.

[01:50:49] One of those came out in 1993. Rookie of the Year was first, then I believe Angels in the Outfield, and then Little Big League. That's a massive 12 month period. What about Sandlot? What about Sandlot? Sandlot was 93? Sandlot may be the best of them. Maybe. Well here's the thing.

[01:51:08] We've got to start making movies about kids playing professional sports again. What are we doing here? What a time to be alive. What are we doing here? Can we write this now? Can we be done with this and go write it now? Merry Christmas!

[01:51:22] Merry Christmas! Sandlot wouldn't fall into that category. Because they didn't play professionally. The rest of those movies were all kids playing professional baseball or being on the team in some form or fashion. He ends up on the team in Sandlot. Spoiler alert.

[01:51:36] Bethanne McGraw-Smith has the correct ranking of those three movies. Rookie, Angels, and Little Big League. Little Big. Payback for me saying Little Big League is trash, that's fair. I'm just going to bring some DTH business to the table here.

[01:51:51] Holly has still not seen Rookie of the Year, has not seen Sandlot, and made some weird comment in the chat about how she's too busy watching toenail videos. Should we kick her out? All in favor? I think you reported Meredith instead of Holly. Whoops, I'll go back in.

[01:52:09] I'll keep Meredith reported. Won't undo that. I'll also report Holly. The Way Home Season 2 Episode 7, March 13th, 2024. 43 left already? 31 episodes left of this season. We've got to wait until next January, presumably. Presumably? I've heard it before. I've not until this very moment. Presumably! Subliminably.

[01:52:33] Sublimitable messages about the supposedly. Let's get... We're going to play this song through seven straight scenes. We paid for it, we're making sure we use... We want the extended play version, so love that scene, love the song. Tell me why. It ain't nothing but a heartbreak, you know?

[01:52:53] Tell me why. It ain't nothing but a... Mistake. Tell me why. I've gone too long. Listen, I never want to hear you say I want it that way. I never want to hear you say I want it that way. Real mess. So my three proper ones.

[01:53:12] This, for anyone not on file, it's a Ziploc bag. This is not going to protect... This is like Brian saying how you can't wear jeans in the pond times a thousand. Brian brought a prop? In what scenario? For anyone who's never seen a Ziploc bag, see Exhibit A.

[01:53:30] Brian brought one. He got the whole thing out. In what scenario? She's in a rush, okay. But either... Through a hundred years of seeing things on screen, you bring a briefcase into the water, you take it out of the water, it's submerged with water with it.

[01:53:50] It's just so stupid. There was zero chance of success. Brian throwing shade on Ziploc right now. It's in the name. Zip... Ziploc! Smart House. Like Zetus Lapetus. But... It was two Ziplocs. First of all, and I think we can all agree on this, F-Ziploc. I hate them.

[01:54:17] A bogus company. I think we can all agree on that. All right, let's get... A bogus company? They're liars. They're straight lies. It's not truly locked. It's not truly... Anyone can open that thing. It's not locked at all. It's a Ziploc. It's not a padlock.

[01:54:41] Hunting Housewives, March 14th, 2024. We're ready to go. Do you go nuts on St. Patrick's Day? Because of your name? I used to, yeah. If your name is Patrick, it's required for you to go hard on St. Patrick's Day. Even as a child, I was doing car bombs and...

[01:54:58] Sorry to the Irish people. It was crazy. I've known how to do a car bomb since I was three. This nine-year-old Patrick walking downstairs, be like, you guys ready to get wasted? My name's Patrick. There's nothing you can do. It's my dude. And the Australian one is like,

[01:55:16] I can't bury my friend. I can't bury my friend. Oh my gosh, how did we get her? We got her here? Is it live from down under? I love Nene. I love Nene. I love my name. Can I tell you what you sounded like?

[01:55:33] You know that SNL sketch, the Californians? Oh yes. You turned into that is what you turned into somewhere along the way. That's fair. And you stayed away from shrimp on the bobby, which is the only thing I can say in Australian. Down under. Rise of lights.

[01:55:50] I don't want to be cliche. Brooke Dorsey, March 15th, 2024. It's like the opposite of COVID when you were doing everything with your eyes, you know, when you're wearing a mask. Yeah. I was like, man, I'm really working out my eyes today. I really want people to know it.

[01:56:05] It's good. I thought it was good. You had to be. It wasn't bad. I'm sorry for making fun. I see that you have a pool behind you. Are you good in there? Am I good at swimming? Yeah, I can do a pretty good job. Yeah.

[01:56:24] I can do a pretty mean front crawl. Yeah. That's good. I'm not, I'm not good in there. So anytime someone is good and are you getting there? How dare you? Well, it's a good question. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:56:42] I can kind of, you know, make my way, make my way through it. If I have to see that's a billiards table back there. Good in there. I thought it was a great question. Hot girl winter, March 18th, 2024. I go on this trip by myself.

[01:56:54] So she hops on a plane to MIA with a red coat and her pants. She takes out her bags and she leaves them on the sidewalk. Then they get stolen. I'm done. It's good. It's not bad. That's not bad. Having Santa Claus strip on stage is blasphemous.

[01:57:18] I was offended. I was concerned because I was going to have to talk about it. It's not my Santa. I'll say that much.

[01:57:27] My Santa is a jolly fellow who has a wonderful time making toys, being a good boss to the elves and is in a loving relationship with his wife. I don't know what this was, but it hurt me.

[01:57:44] This billionaire, he sold his company for $2 billion, ties up his own tiny, tiny yacht. That is not a euphemism. He goes out to the dock and ties up his own yacht. His yacht is a yacht that a middle class person could afford. It's absurd.

[01:58:13] He has seemingly no staff whatsoever. He drives himself places. He's just, you know, he's a baller on a budget. He's the people's billionaire. Crimes of Fashion, Killer Clutch, March 19th, 2024. I'm pretty sure that this broach won't come back in any way, shape or form.

[01:58:33] We will broach that subject again. Man, if you were a ball of bread, I'd dump you right in that chocolate milk. I'd eat you right up. I'd let you. I bet you would. What did you do with the middle of the bread bowl that you pulled out?

[01:58:49] Put in your lucky charms? No, I didn't eat the whole bread. You didn't hollow it out. I wouldn't hollow it out. Someone's got to sop up all that chocolate. It was a soft bread. No hard parts. No hard parts.

[01:59:05] Next time we go to a restaurant where they bring bread, can you ask for a side of milk? Maybe tonight? Can you bring me your finest chocolate milk? I could get a chocolate martini. I would do that in a heartbeat. Breadsticks and a chocolate martini?

[01:59:21] No, not a breadstick because that's got too much seasoning. The dinner roll that's just plain bread. 100% in your chocolate martini. Guys, I don't think this is as crazy. Brainattackthehallmark.com if you've ever dunked your bread. I'm emailing you right now.

[01:59:35] I love a tres leches cake, which is cake covered in milk, soaked in milk. 100%! It's not that it... You're having a hard time with this. We have a hard time with this for no reason. It's the tray.

[01:59:50] You poured carton milk onto a cafeteria tray and then rubbed bread around it and ate it, buddy. That isn't good. It's just styrofoam tray. It's not like a reusable one. Oh, okay. It's still not great, but I thought it was a plastic... No, styrofoam. That's what we had.

[02:00:12] You dunk anything in milk, any sort of carbon milk, it's not going to taste terrible. That's not why it was disgusting to me. I want to be very clear. Look at us now. Man, my table's a jerk!

[02:00:23] The thing that I can't get off my mind, when the eclair cream shot out... Eclair? Eclair. I've just been shot with an eclair! Where did they get the eclair cream cannon? Please say eclair. How much did it cost?

[02:00:43] I'm just asking for a friend who's looking for eclair cream cannon. The amount of cream that was shot out of that eclair. It was fully loaded. Hey, can I get an eclair fully loaded? I saw a fully loaded eclair live. They were unbelievable.

[02:00:58] The Way Home, Season 2, Episode 8, March... Nope, Episode 8, March 20th, 2024. The past week or so, stopped hearing about NSYNC. Was it all you ever wanted, Ryan? Oh, Dan, that was really...

[02:01:13] See, Dan, you clearly only know three songs, yet you're ready to whip out the references at the uncanny reader. We got to get moving because in 30 minutes my... I got to say bye-bye-bye. Hey, is Terrell an NSYNC fan? Something to think about on the ride back.

[02:01:25] More of a Backstreet Boys guy, for sure. I will say this. This episode that we're getting ready to talk about is really tearing up my heart. Ah, nicely done. Yeah? Okay, I think we did it all. One of us is going to not like this episode.

[02:01:40] It's going to be me. That's funny. Anyway, what's going on? So that's four songs, thank you very much. They did a thing. Anyway, what's going on? Maybe we'd be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. So... Let's take a quick break.

[02:01:58] We'll come back with a Wait What? And the sink or swim here on Deck the Hallmark. I got it, guys. Ready? I just swallowed some water. Deck the Hallmark! You went with the full-throated confidence of someone that had other people that were going to say this with him.

[02:02:21] Yeah, I did. And you were like, Deck the Hallmark! No, I'm on my own here. I'm on my own here. But it sounds like there's a difference of a him and everybody else is waiting for that next measure. Yeah. I have, sure. This is too soon, you know?

[02:02:36] Sometimes when you're into each other... If you're going to do this before you bring your briefcase out, for every single Wait What or complaint, we're going to be here all day.

[02:02:42] No, I'm just saying as somebody who has kissed a lot of women, sometimes you fall into one and you're like, hey, we clearly dig each other, but it was too soon. It was too soon for that. Sometimes you fall into one?

[02:02:56] and you're like, oh man, did we make a mistake? We haven't even had to define the relationship talk. We slid right into a kiss. And so maybe it just felt like it was too soon. And just to be clear, I've never kissed a deaf author.

[02:03:06] You definitely have a full DTR before a first kiss. Always, always. Man, the show about Bran and youth group is gonna be. I, and now here's where I'm like, listen, cause I know some people have been tough on us and I understand some people just saying,

[02:03:20] hey, we're enjoying this thing. Don't bash on this thing that we're enjoying, especially when Ryan and Bran thing jingle all the way. Right. Has somebody brought that up? No, but I think that's a fair argument. It's not a fair argument. It's not, I'm not the pervert.

[02:03:36] You can't say that. You're Clay Aiken in the invisible situation. Irish wish. I didn't even try there. March. Oh, sorry. March of the wish. March 21st, 2024 top of the morning. We, you know, maybe like a tender kiss

[02:03:52] in a Hallmark movie that I, that would be enough for me. Like, okay. And I don't like, I don't want to be that guy but like Jax, you're also off the market. Right? That's true. It's true. If we could cut that line, if we could cut,

[02:04:09] that's the tagline right there. Bran is asking Jax. I just want to like, did I, I just, yeah, just, just no, but like, you know, every couple status Jax. Every couple has their hall pass. The hall pass. And mine is like, you know, Amelia Clark,

[02:04:29] Parvati from Survivor, May Martin, they're dating and Ben Rosenbaum. Tell me about who's the Survivor? I don't know anything about Survivor. Who? She was on my vision board. Parvati. She's the leader of the Black Widow Brigade. There was Donald Glover and Andrew. I couldn't remember his last name.

[02:04:45] Andrew Garfield. Yes. You couldn't remember Andrew Garfield. How was your, Jax has, Jax has a hall. Yeah. Yeah. A hall pass port. A hall pass. Like a hall, just a hall. Page after page of blanks. That's right, there's so many stamps on there. Doolo is even jealous.

[02:05:01] It's crazy. Hall pass! Ha ha, got him! Nice. We're on fire! Let's go, Jop. I would like to take this opportunity to talk to Ayesha Curry, who is in this movie. We've gone this far, Brandon. Well, no, no, no.

[02:05:15] I did a little deep dive and I found out that she and Lindsay Lohan have recently become best friends, which I always think is sweet when you meet someone that you really connect to. Like, we're in our 30s.

[02:05:27] At this point, I feel like I have all the friends I need. That's right, yeah. But when someone special comes around and you meet somebody new and you're kind of like, where has this person been my whole life? I feel like we've known each other

[02:05:37] and that's from my understanding how Lindsay and Ayesha feel. But I would like to talk to Ayesha Curry right now because I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity. You know, this is her first movie. Maybe she's listening to reviews or watching on FileLTV.

[02:05:48] If you and your husband, I believe it's Steph, would ever like to do a double date with me and my wife, we would be thrilled. I'd be thrilled to go out with the two of you. I don't really know much about Steph.

[02:06:00] I'm definitely not gonna ask him a ton of questions about basketball or anything like that. But I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I just would love to get to know you guys. I think you seem like great people. Brandon at deckthehallmark.com,

[02:06:13] if you guys would ever like to get together, let me know. I think it'd be a good time. Listen, you gotta shoot your shot sometimes. Yeah, I'm gonna ruin that shot for you right now. Ayesha, if you go on that date,

[02:06:23] ask Brandon what he thought of your performance in Irish Wish. Ask him. I thought she was great. I thought Ayesha was great. Ask Bram what he thought of your performance if you're gonna go on that double date. We're happy. I'm happy. Bram could say something like factually incorrect

[02:06:41] and Jax would be like, what Bram's trying to, I get it though, I get it though. What Bram's trying to say is. It's because for the four years that I've been on the podcast, for three of them I was pretending that I was intellectually on the level

[02:06:54] with you and Alonzo and throw poor Bram under the bus. And I think you'd be all right. For years, Jax would just smile and shake her head. Jax has created two straw men just now. One, that she's not super intelligent

[02:07:07] and two, that she used to be sitting there thumbing her nose at Bram. I don't know which one of those is more strawy than the other. Both just slam full of hay, I can tell you that right now.

[02:07:19] Give me dumb Jax over mean Jax any day of the week. I love dumb Jax. Unbelievable. But both of their foreheads look good. They do amazing foreheads. It's subtle needlework. I mean, you can hardly even, I wouldn't have even noticed. I wouldn't have. Even up close in person.

[02:07:36] Yes, and we're always talking about foreheads too. Yeah, we have a whole board of do you think they've had work done? We discuss it every week. We do forehead of the month. We do forehead of the month. We do forehead of the month. Yeah. Forehead of the month.

[02:07:47] Pretty big deal. It's my forehead. Shifting gears, March 21st, 2024. You did a diary. I did a diary. A travel diary. It was the episodes that we did. Go ahead and see that clip. Dear diary, I'm flying back from London again. I miss my friends. I miss my boys.

[02:08:05] I guess I miss Aaron too. It's good to be back in the studio and away from my family. Go America, red, white, and blue. Signing out. Oh beautiful for spacious For amber waves of grain From purple mountains of majesty Above the fruited plain Play ball!

[02:08:36] Mary had a little lamb Get your hot dog here. Hot dog's here. You know what's wild about that video diary that we totally did record is that at one point I had you guys sing and I made the drums front and center.

[02:08:53] I was like, the only way that I can show you how much I miss America is if I can do the drum rolls on the snare. Louder than everybody else. Yeah, I'm glad we had that. Yeah, it's beautiful. Because people would have thought

[02:09:05] maybe I didn't fly back from London if we didn't do that. We have the proof. That's right, in the pudding. You know what else? It's flawless. Flawless show. And it's scripted like Yeah, down to the hilt. Yeah, absolutely. And it's all researched too.

[02:09:20] Bound, bound, bound to the hilt with Terrell. Oh, hello everybody. Hey Terrell. I'm Terrell. Welcome to And I'm Barrel. Welcome to the hilt with Terrell. And Barrel. That's not in the name. I'm a part of it. Barrel! I'm a part of it. Barrel!

[02:09:38] I just want to be a part of it. Barrel! There's no Barrel. To the hilt with Terrell. To the hilt with Barrel. Barrel to the hilt. Wow, that's good. That's terrible. And you're right, that was what? 13 and a half seconds, just like we planned. That's right, exactly.

[02:09:55] That's all that was? It felt like it was. It probably was more. It's time for the hot take. It's where we share. We might be over-scheduling right now. Oh, we gotta catch up. Brian, do your best here buddy. I know you're stuffed.

[02:10:07] Yeah, we've got to talk about the utter lack of grease in this movie. Oh yeah. That is just not present aside from on a shirt or on a face. A little bit. Like occasionally. And like, I don't claim to be a mechanic.

[02:10:20] When I was in high school, I worked- That's not what you said earlier. When I was in high school, thanks Brian, I worked at a car lot three summers. Was that me on recording? We gotcha. Is that in one of the diaries for me? I'm a mechanic!

[02:10:31] I'm a big dirty mechanic! Interesting. I got sludge all over me! Sludge, huh? Fascinating. Any more? Is that all we got? Antifa! Antifa? That's definitely Dan. Yeah, that was today. I'm a big dirty mechanic. Sludge covered. Antifa. Books, another one. We're coming back tomorrow with the episode nine.

[02:11:02] The way home. Ooh. The prolific, the prol- Hold on. I really don't even know where you're going. Prerequisite. Don't tell me when it's before the season finale. It is called- Oh, dude, come on man. Oh, I have it! You've got it. It starts with a P, right?

[02:11:20] It does. It does. How about this? Shush, shush, shush. Okay. How about this? Writing. Writing? What would you write with? A pencil. Penultimate! There you go! Yeah! Wow, that was great. Suck it enemies! Suck it! That's right. We'll be back tomorrow on Never Alone, March 25th, 2024.

[02:11:42] Never gonna be alone for Christmas. Never gonna be alone. Hey, hey! Never gonna be alone for Christmas. Never gonna be alone. Welcome everybody. Oh boy. We're back. Any more than that and you'd have to pay. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got out just in time. That's true. Yeah.

[02:12:01] Have you ever seen an eclipse real good? Yeah, there was one a couple years ago. I remember standing in a parking lot with people and like one person had the pieces of cardboard and we all watched it on the asphalt.

[02:12:13] This is like the last one for the continent at all. Everybody says that. I'm done. No, no, no, no. I heard back in 2017 or whenever it was that it was the only one of its kind for the next hundred and some years.

[02:12:26] And I was like, all right, I'm in. This is it for me. And then I hear there's just another one. I'm done. Eclipses are lying to me. The sun says it's gonna stop touring and then it does a residency in Vegas. So after- It releases a new single.

[02:12:40] After April 8th, the next solar eclipse that can be seen from the contiguous United States will be August 23rd, 2044. Yeah, dude, when that episode happens, we'll have a special party here. We're gonna go nuts. It's gonna be awesome.

[02:12:57] You guys aren't even gonna know what to do with yourselves. I'm gonna be 60. Yeah. Alonzo's gonna be- I'll be 77. 77? All right, let's all make a pact. Let's all make a pact. Bran will be 40. Let's all make a pact. In 2044, we're all gonna get together

[02:13:14] for one big solar eclipse party. In- Wherever it is. I don't know where- Well, can I- What's the date on that before I book it? August- Put it on your calendar to see if you got anything else. August what? August 23rd, 2044. Very close to one Aaron Shay's birthday.

[02:13:31] That's right. You in for that? Yeah, you're invited. Oh, the 23rd, that's so good. Yeah, the 23rd, you're out on the 23rd? You got a breakfast all day schedule? What do you got? Probably. Let's see what the- Statistically speaking, yes.

[02:13:48] The Way Home, season two, episode nine, March 27th, 2024. Just wanna talk really quickly, Dan. We talked about this a little bit off. There's a Dude Perfect smoothie at Smoothie King. There's a Dude Perfect smoothie. It feels personal to you. I got it, I got the Dude Perfect smoothie.

[02:14:07] It's not bad. It's exactly what you would think it would be. It's not my favorite. What is it? It's like, it's got pineapple, which I- It's blue. It's blue, but it's got, yeah, it's- And I will say, it tastes very sweet. It's a little bit too sweet

[02:14:17] and a little bit too heavy on the pineapple. A little pineapple goes a long way for brand. Okay, yeah. In regards to pineapple flavor, yeah. But Dan and I have gone on the record saying we're doing a thing this year. We're doing a thing.

[02:14:30] Where we have two smoothies- Two smoothies a week. A week, and we've been doing it all year and it's been going great. It's been going great. And then I wake up one day- What do you mean, it has been going great? What do you mean?

[02:14:39] No, I just, everything Bran said, then Dan echoed. It was just, I was just laughing at Dan. Was it too much? No, it's great. Okay, thank you. I laughed, I enjoyed it. All right. Thank you. Going great! Thank you.

[02:14:51] So I wake up one day and I find out that they've partnered with another male-centered creator team called Dude Perfect. Does Dude Perfect have way more viewers and listeners than we do? We don't know that for sure. I do know that for sure. We don't know that.

[02:15:14] We don't know how many people watch us on Vylar. That's true, we don't get those numbers. It could be millions. Yes, it could be. I just want to say what gives, and if we could flood Smoothie King social media

[02:15:29] and just be like, I don't care about Dude Perfect. Give us- Where's the Hallmark podcast? But what would our smoothie be, Bran? I was going to say, like, what's the flavor? We'd have to, I want to know what, what are the creating of their flavor?

[02:15:40] Did the four of them or whatever, however many dudes there are? Oh wait, it would be, it would start, I know it's not super seasonal, but it'd have to be like an eggnog smoothie, right? Bran's not a big eggnog guy. I'd do a peppermint smoothie. Peppermint?

[02:15:53] If we could try to make the, if we could try to make a peppermint milkshake, but be healthy in smoothie form. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, right? That sounds awesome. Let's get into the lab, let's get into the lab.

[02:16:03] Can we also just get on the pizza and wings while we're at it? Let's get, let's get into the lab and make this. Let's get into the lab, back to the lab and do it. The peppermint smoothie. I like-

[02:16:14] Get in the old laboratory and make the peppermint smoothie. Wild white chocolate peppermint smoothie. Because they have, the chocolate smoothies from the smoothie king are really healthy for you. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think there's any way to concoct a peppermint smoothie

[02:16:26] without other things going on. I think a peppermint smoothie would be disgusting. It's just, no, it's too much. No, white chocolate peppermint smoothie. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty good. Now we're talking here. Throw some almonds in there maybe? You won't even taste them, I promise.

[02:16:40] No, I'm fine with that. I try to throw as much stuff in my smoothies as possible that will help me, but without tasting it. I gotta be honest. How have you felt? We're three months into doing this thing. I feel good. Three months? Yeah, we started in January.

[02:16:54] I feel good and I just feel like if there was any dude team that would be perfect for Smoothie King, and this is no knock on Dude Perfect, I'm sure they're swell, but come on now. Come on guys. We've been doing a thing. We're doing a thing.

[02:17:10] And it's possible they've also been doing a thing. We didn't check with the guys. No, we didn't check about their thing. We didn't check with those dudes, but. You guys made a joint New Year's resolution. That's adorable. That's like, it's horrible. They're holding hands on Filo.

[02:17:24] Filo.tv slash DTH. I just wanna know why we weren't considered. We weren't. Maybe they didn't know. Maybe they didn't know. Maybe they didn't consult it. But so everybody just do your part here. Do your part. Homework podcast, Smoothie King collab.

[02:17:39] Message them, don't be mean, but like politely be like, hey, what the F are you doing? Basically. Don't be mean, but politely be mean. Don't be mean about it is all I'm trying to say. But also contrary to what the show is trying to smoke

[02:17:57] and mirrors you to believe, they have established time and time again that the past remains unchanged. You cannot. The rest is still unwritten. Yeah, standing. Here's the thing. Before you open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the ones

[02:18:15] that you cannot find reaching for something in the distance. So close you can almost taste it. Release your inhibition. Thank you. They've established. I wish we could harmonize properly. I know, you just need to be down here. Let's hashtag get Ryan to Gville. I don't know.

[02:18:36] We'll work on the hashtag. We'll get this really long and weird hashtag. Sounds more like a kidnapping plot. It's gonna happen. He knows that the love of his life is Kat. He's not out there trying to be nefarious and Alice has to know.

[02:18:52] You coming on here and saying Elliot's not being nefarious is great. No, after a season of the album. Timeout, timeout. High school Elliot. I understand what you're saying. It was just great. Searching, like trying. I just want someone to take you being like, no, you could.

[02:19:09] Elliot's a villain. Elliot's not out here trying to be a villain. This is what the media does. That's exactly. That's not the 40 years of good stuff. So yeah, you liked that, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know who all that was for,

[02:19:23] but it was for a few of us out there for sure. It's an April preview show, March 28th, 2024. To sign up, go search deck the Hallmark. Save all the things. I dare you to. Do I dare? I double, I triple dog. Whoa. You triple dog dare?

[02:19:39] You want rates of triple too. I know. I know. You're not messing around. I'm a bold man. I'm a bold man. It's a new ballad that Brands working on. I do bold things. Something about font, right? Italian bold. Yes. Write a line. I'm a bold man.

[02:19:57] That's the choir. Yeah, oh, that's really good. I'm a bold man. I do bold things like a triple dog dare. This is starting to sound a little bit like a real men of genius commercial. We've got six movies. He does a double down when he could triple down.

[02:20:16] That's right. Everywhere a triple down. Man, a class. We gotta. Yeah, and if you see us recording on file, it was just cinnamon sugar all over our shirts. Just don't worry about it. No question. It's not cinnamon sugar, it's powdered sugar. Powdered sugar, both hands.

[02:20:29] Yeah, but now that we've heard cinnamon. Oh, yeah, throw a little of that on there. Get your pissy whip. It was a hard end return that. There's so much. If you try this again. If you try this again, we might get canceled. There's so many ways to go.

[02:20:47] Is there a better way to go out? Is there a better way to go out? I said pissy whip. Get your pussy willows ready is what I was trying to say. Get your pussy willows ready. That's right. That's not what you said. Get them ready.

[02:21:01] You creaming this one, Brandon? Three in a dime, I'm not creaming. Oh, yes! That's exciting. Dingus, dingus, dingus, dingus. No, you're not. For those of you who are- It is our favorite holiday. Yeah, yeah. We talk about it all year. We do talk about dingus day all year.

[02:21:22] All year round we talk about it. Yeah, you dingus, read a book. Nothing of what we said is out of bounds aside from pissy whipped. I don't know what that is. Other than that, right. You need pussy willows on dingus day. Get pussy willows on dingus day.

[02:21:35] Get your pussy willows ready. Get your pussy willows ready. You took extra time there, I appreciate it. Get your pussy willows ready. We didn't need another one. Ah, ah! Yes we did. Three in a dime. We're gonna take a break. We'll be right back here.

[02:21:49] You should have done pussy willows. We should have done pussy willows. Deck the Lifetime Encore Game Show Palooza number one, March 29th, 2024. I think Jason Momoa is a black horse here. I think, is that a say? It's a dark horse. Dark. You racist. You racist.

[02:22:12] Were you thinking black sheep and dark horse? Did black horse, I think we should take it out just in case, I don't know man. Did black horse open for selective mute when you spawned? There you go. There it is. All right, and they used a dark horse

[02:22:28] and the black sheep of the family. There's something in the barn, April 1st, 2024. I do love that this elf, this barn elf, essentially turns on his own people for what I think is a total of three cookies over the course of two days. He is so like-

[02:22:48] He pulls a reverse avatar. Yeah, he's like, that's my guy? He gave me three cookies. He gave me three cookies. He taught me this thing. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do. This barn elf's gotta die. In Easter bloom, March 2nd, 2024.

[02:23:03] The Hallmark story, we wonder what could have been maybe because of gluten. Ryan, what are you still wondering about, bud? Yeah, I just, I got the vibe towards the end of this movie that her flower bed that she got for her birthday.

[02:23:15] Yep, the little four by four thing, raised garden. Do you think her dad's buried in that? Oh my God. I kinda got vibes that her dad was buried in that. She talks to her dad. She went out there at the end of the movie.

[02:23:28] She's like hanging around it. It's kind of a size that seems- In the spirit of the resurrection, I'm gonna grant that to you. You might think that what I'm about to say is an April Fool's joke, but it's not. It's time for the Double Decker of the Week.

[02:23:41] What happened to you? Double Decker of the Week. Welcome everybody to the Double Decker of the Week. I know some of you are asking, it's been six months. What is this? The thing about the Double Decker of the Week, this is where you sign up for bramblejamplus.com.

[02:23:59] People still do this? Double Decker tier or higher. Believe it or not, we have a fun time on the Facebook group and Panda, our beloved Panda. Listen, there's some people that don't even know who Panda is. That's right. Panda used to do the show on this show.

[02:24:10] That's right. Then he got too big for his britches. He passed RIP obviously. He was old. We did the best we could. He would always give a little bit of a deep dive on a different Double Decker every week.

[02:24:21] Well, when he left, he told Brian to take it over and we were like, great, Brian will jump in November 1st. The problem that none of us knew, I don't wanna throw you under the bus, none of us knew this. You didn't know this at the time.

[02:24:34] What Panda didn't tell us is quite an accreditation process. Quite a, the amount of work that you had to do for the Google Plus was off the charts. Exhausting. And a lot of it too, I felt like was a hazing period

[02:24:47] before I could even get to local hazing. Did you get a lot of Panda prank calls? He's like, here, click this link to get in and malware for days. Like, oh my gosh, you put malware on your laptop. Yeah, just fried my computer.

[02:25:00] Click this link, spam, add this, that. It was a real brutal time dealing with him. And so he finally, we got to the point where he trusted me enough to- You lost three laptops. Yeah, man, it's been quite expensive actually. My, I still have a bill to HR.

[02:25:19] If you guys could please straighten that out for me. No. That'll be in the mail, don't worry about it. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna give you the name of one of the Double Deckers and you'll just kind of tell us

[02:25:30] what you dug up on them. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What info you found and we'll try to get, we really like to get to know these Double Deckers as best we can. And this process helps us do that. Dan, who do we have today? We have Erin Rimpey.

[02:25:41] Oh, Erin Rimpey. She's wonderful. She's exciting. She's wonderful, yeah. So it took a little while, did a little deep dive, found out Erin is- Erin. Erin, that's ironic. Erin. Erin, Erin. Erin. Erin Rimpey. Erin Rimpey, yes. She's got an idea for a product

[02:25:58] and it's actually, it's pretty far along. Wow. In the process. It's pretty far along. It's pretty far along and I can't unfortunately say a lot about it because she doesn't want anybody ripping this off. So why are we doing this right now? I'm just gonna tiptoe,

[02:26:10] I'm gonna probably go a little deeper than I should. It's pretty far along but we're not, I can't say a lot about it. Right. Did Panda write the script? It's, when you get into Google Plus, it's a little wonky. It's not what you'd expect in there.

[02:26:23] That's why when you Google it, it would say, now I don't have the accreditation, but it would say, she's pretty far along. So go ahead and out Erin for all the work she's been doing and not ready to. So what I found, Erin, she's been creating this product

[02:26:35] that like sometimes you find yourself in a situation where there's like an emergency situation, a car wreck, your house is robbed, there's a fire. Sometimes you find yourself in those situations. Sometimes. And you meet Dan. You meet Dan and all this, there's another thing that will pop up

[02:26:51] that totally unexpected. In the spirit of the resurrection, I forgive you. In the spirit of the resurrection, sometimes you end up, you're a little bit hungry too at the same time as your house is burning down, as your car is totaled. Okay, this sounds like you're giving away

[02:27:01] a lot of information. So I won't say much more, but it's really in the ingredients that I can't get into. I got you. But she's come up with a solution for this scenario. When you meet Dan. What is it? A solution or a pro?

[02:27:13] It's a product called Enqueso Emergency. Enqueso Emergency. Enqueso Emergency. So this is the queso, the cheese dip that you eat if there's an emergency? If you're in an emergency. How do you get it? That, unfortunately, we can't get into. Let me be honest.

[02:27:33] I thought when you started this that there would be an upgrade of some sort. And I am sorely mistaken. Wait till you taste this stuff. So wait, is it kind of like, is it like those bags of the meals in a bag

[02:27:45] that they send over like into overseas? Or MRE. Yeah, MRE. It's obviously better, an upgrade over that. These might be the new MREs. These might be the new MREs. I've been considering it. This is what I didn't want to get into.

[02:27:58] Now Kraft is going to be all up on this? You say there's a fire. So you see a fire. Or war. Or you're in war. And you are like, could I call someone about this fire? Yes. But I got some cheese dip with my name on it.

[02:28:14] Enqueso Emergency. Enqueso Emergency. And I think that the second phase is when you crack that open, it automatically calls the first responder. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. You're not supposed to be talking about. You just bullied her with the lead. You bullied them into it.

[02:28:28] I, amazing, first of all, I hope you see it come to, you know, availability. It's going to start off small, but hopefully gross. A long way far down the line from what we've seen. Does it come with something to dip into that?

[02:28:41] That, unfortunately, you're on your own at this point. Oh no. This is- It's just the queso? Enqueso Emergency. This is the flaw. This is what I identified as the flaw, Aaron. So you got to work on it a little bit more, but.

[02:28:53] The Way Home, season two, episode 10, March, April 3rd, 2024. Your sweet emotions and not always give you hope that everything's always going to be okay. You're talking about Lost? Who is this? Who, me? Yeah. Who is this? Frederick Lost. Your name is Frederick Lost? Named after the show.

[02:29:23] My parents gave me the last name Lost because of the show. They changed their names. They gave you the last name Lost? They changed their names, Ryan. You sound a lot like Rig Dilby. I know the man. You know the man? I know the man.

[02:29:38] You know Frederick Lost and Rig Dilby have hung out. We met at Fitzy's. We met at Fitzy's. This all checks out. You sound like you could be his brother. I don't know. His last name's Dilby. My last name's Lost. Do the math. Okay. It's a great show.

[02:29:57] It is. It's a great show. It's a great show. My parents changed their last name to Lost so that my last name would be Lost. I understand. Then they changed their names back. So it's just me stuck with it.

[02:30:11] Is your email not at timtebow or whatever at yahoo.com? Is that you as well? I vaguely remember what you're talking about, but no, it's not. Lost's a great program is all I'm trying to say. Thank you. Thank you, Frederick Lost. That's it for me.

[02:30:32] I like the finale. Great, yeah. The Lost finale's really good. I like it a lot. Some people don't. Okay. Rig does. Yeah, of course. Rig, you know that guy? Oh, you mean Freddie Lost? Only I could call him Freddie. We did meet at Fitzy's.

[02:30:50] He's wrong about that finale though. I will say his parents went a little hard, a little hard by changing their last names. Did he say, Rig, you might notice, did he say that his parents- Like my last name used to be Hogan T. Rose. Rig Hogan T. Rose.

[02:31:04] So it didn't really work for me, so I went back to Dilby. The Dilby family crest is a- It's a great crest. It's a great crest. Can't show it on TV, but it's a beautiful crest. You can't do it with middle fingers alone.

[02:31:15] Did he say that his family, after he was born, changed their last name back, but he was stuck with it? I don't know. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think he's the only one that's lost. Wow. He's- What a metaphor. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean?

[02:31:30] It's a dynamite drop in Rig. It's good to see you still there in that undisclosed location with just blinds. Yeah, don't ask questions. Are you selling those blinds? Is there a promo code I can get to? Blind chalet? Listen, I gotta make a buck on the side.

[02:31:44] Go to the Power Rangers. I'm outta here. Last but not least, one, hey man, I know I'm about to get shot. Here's some coins. You know what he left out of that? I'm wearing armor! Just tell her! Just tell her you sent this poor woman

[02:32:10] walking after a hard kiss, knowing full well she thinks you're about to die! And you know I'm wearing armor that looks similar to the weird thing Emily Blunt was wearing at the Oscars with the big things. You were wearing armor! Interesting fashion talk from Brandy.

[02:32:30] Tell her you're wearing armor! Go ahead. I mean, if he wasn't sure that the armor would work- Hey, heads up! There's a chance that she maybe- But he doesn't wanna give her false hope. Oh, why would you watch? But maybe he doesn't want her to keep coming back.

[02:32:49] He wants her to live her life- Then don't hard kiss her! Then don't hard kiss her! And he wants them to live their life in 2024. He hard kissed her? Or 2023, whatever year we are in Canada. He hard kissed her and sent her packing, knowing full well-

[02:33:06] Yeah, and she can just think about that hard kiss in 2024 for the rest of her life. Don't, it's gross. A couple things. First of all, the chat is unanimous. You're wrong on the kiss, so there's that. What do you mean I'm wrong on the kiss?

[02:33:18] Unanimous, they all love the kiss. It was a good kiss? I would've kissed him. Yeah, there you go. Second of all- Are y'all gonna get me a good- I hope you get a good dentist! Y'all gotta- Go back! Go back to me!

[02:33:27] I hope y'all got a good dentist! Because try at home, try at home. Go up to your significant other and just smush faces hard. And go, oh, that was fun! I got teeth coming out, blood going out like you're Andrew W.K. Get out of here!

[02:33:42] That is not how hard they kissed! They went so far! My acting coach nightmare, April 4th, 2024. And she's like, what are you saying? Like, he just wants me to be the lead because I'm hot? Like, I have talent. And this is what I say all the time.

[02:33:58] Like, you want me to just do this because I'm hot? Like, I'm talented too. Patrick gets, that's the one thing. Patrick's really low maintenance, but the one thing is, is that if he thinks he's getting special treatment because he's attractive, it is, gosh, it's tough. It's tough.

[02:34:13] Look, it's tough. We're trying our best here, Patrick. But one time a barista gave me a drink for free. I threw that in their face. I said, I don't need your free drink. I am, I will pay with my money. My looks don't get me everything. That's right.

[02:34:26] But does it get you some things? Because it seems like you're pretty aggressively pushing back against it. Well, right. It's called pretty privilege and I don't want any of that. Well, your tank top backpack says otherwise, Patrick. The guy that wears a tank top to record

[02:34:42] doesn't want you to treat him differently because he's pretty. Vic Webster, April 5th, 2024. I know you watched all, I believe it was 43 Hallmark movies this past year to do Fighting Chance. You watched them all, obviously. You watched them all, you had to.

[02:35:01] Did you have a favorite that you watched for Fighting Chance? You know, I think they were all really, really good. I would hate to just narrow it down to one. Of course. No, and I, yeah, I think that's true. But Will Kemp's was really good.

[02:35:18] Yeah, that's a smart answer there. It's a smart answer. I will say some of the best acting we saw in some of those movies was in your Fighting Chance. You gave a couple of performances in there. Teared up at one point.

[02:35:33] Above and beyond what was asked of you. I mean, it was like award-winning stuff. I mean, was that out of boredom or is that just you wanting to over-deliver? What was that? That was me wanting to spice it up a little bit.

[02:35:49] You know, I think I just got, you know, I got reminded of some of my traumatic childhood and then it just came out in the video and it wasn't even a conscious choice. It was just, you know, sometimes you just can't hold onto those emotions.

[02:36:06] Rapid Fire, I would like for you, if you don't mind, Dan and I, we have our problems. We sometimes get in arguments and sometimes on a rare occasion, we get into a little bit of a ruckus. We do a bit of rolling.

[02:36:25] I think that there's a way in which we could do this with it still being, you know, we don't want to hurt each other. Could you give us some, maybe a quick tutorial on how to best spar to get out that frustration

[02:36:42] without trying to, attempting to hurt the other person? If you could give us some pointers. You said biting? Body sparring. Body sparring. You don't hit to the head at all. So it's just like this. Everything is to the shoulder and to the body. Wasn't necessary.

[02:36:59] Okay, rate, rate, can you- Tuck your thumb when you punch. Okay, rate my punch. Rate my punch. Nope. Was that? You're gonna break your thumb? But I tucked it kind of. Like this, he said like that. No, you want outside.

[02:37:16] So this right here, you're gonna break your thumb. Oh, so go out. But he's not even, he's punching like he's- And you wanna punch with these two knuckles right here. He's casting a rod real out of there. And twist at the end. And twist.

[02:37:28] Yeah, he's gonna catch a big bass in a second. I'm not gonna hit you this time because I don't wanna hurt you. Just go ahead, just go ahead. Okay, so I'm gonna give you one more piece of advice. Don't punch. Oh man, oh man. Oh boy.

[02:37:48] That is for the best. If you ever actually have to hit somebody, just open up your hand and hit him with this part of your hand right here. I can do that. Yeah. I got a pretty mean kick too. I could see that in you. He doesn't.

[02:38:02] You see that? Whoa. That wasn't bad. You guys, can we film that in 240? Cause that was too fast to see with the human eye. We need to slow that down. Let's get Ang Lee in here for that frames per second. We'll slow it down.

[02:38:19] Christmas of yes, April 8th, 2024. I wanna speak really quickly to all the bosses out there. Hi bosses, including the boss baby. Hello? Girl boss. You, I just answered his call. I'm not a baby, no I'm not. But I do answer the calls for the boss baby.

[02:38:36] No, and I know that about you. At the Red Roof in 2024. Again? What are the dates? They give us a deal. What are the dates? It's probably gonna be around July 18th if I'm not mistaken. Oh no. You need to talk. Like you listen to our show.

[02:38:50] You listen to our show. And they have promised, I wanna just get anybody from last year who did not get a refund. They have promised to spray for those cockroaches. They're gonna get rid of them. Listen, it was a bit, we all,

[02:39:02] especially with all the babies on the floor. Yes, in the conjoined rooms. It's just, it's hard to get to those conjoined rooms with all the cockroaches. It's a blind date book club, April 9th, 2024. I don't know enough about that melody to sing it. You'd love it.

[02:39:22] I feel like you'd love it. I think she'd love it. You're big country music guy. It's a blind date, it's a blind date book club. It's a blind date book club. That's good too. It's a blind date. You're reading a book. It's a blind date book club. Drink.

[02:39:36] The Hallmark here on Deck the Hallmark. Come on Brian. Hi everybody. Hey everybody. We're having a good time. Nope. I know I'm having a good time. I'm watching this movie on Philo. I'm loving my life. You can watch this episode on Philo, philo.tv slash DTH.

[02:39:59] Little stuff is the easiest stuff to put away. You just rake it in a drawer. But you want to take it with you, have it handy. You said put it away. You didn't say take it with you. Yeah, you put it away in the cell.

[02:40:07] You don't want to hold it in your hands. You would like some coins or some goldfish, but you don't want it to get lost in the shuffle. You get a bag. So Colleen came up with this product. You get a bag. It's a take on a bag.

[02:40:18] Is it like a tiny, tiny? It's a tiny, tiny little thing, right? The name is important. You'll get it when you say it. Now you put stuff in, you take it with you. I'll get it when I say it.

[02:40:28] When Brian says it, I'll get it until I say it. You're not going to say it. I'll say it. And I'm not going to get it. You're going to get it? The one thing she's a little concerned about, little concerned that has it been long enough?

[02:40:39] Has it been long enough? Let's find out. The name of her product, smallpox. Ooh, ooh. Just like small little pockets. Dan, I can see you're struggling with getting it. Go ahead and say it. Smallpox, I got it. I got it. It took a second. What is it?

[02:40:57] So Colleen decided in order to start a little stuff, she's going to name it after a disease? This was probably before the disease came out that she thought of this idea. You know what? She had another idea. It was where two people could share the cost

[02:41:16] of a rental at Blockbuster. It's called COVID. Do you think that's going to fly or not? I can't wait until she comes out with those. Too soon? Are we waiting until year 3000 for that one? Timing is important. When Calls the Heart, season 11, episode one, April 10th, 2024.

[02:41:36] It is springtime and Elizabeth and Rosemary, they're beating their rugs because it's spring cleaning time, everybody. I don't know. No, no. I can't get in trouble for this. I can't get in trouble for this. I didn't mean anything by anything I said.

[02:41:55] I don't really know if it's bad. I just don't like the way people are looking at me. I don't like the way people are looking at me. All I said is that they were beating their rugs, which is what they're doing. And I didn't mean anything by it.

[02:42:05] I didn't mean anything by it, Jax. They're spring cleaning, guys. Spring cleaning. I will say I prefer her with Pickham. I really do. I think it's very, very cute. Yeah, of course. She's living her dream. Of course you do. You just wanna see Pickham happy. Yeah, that's all.

[02:42:32] Doing his little exercise in his cute little shorts. Gotta have something for Ben Rosenbaum to do on that show so Jax can watch. You know what's funny? I was gonna joke but be like, oh, I can't believe Aaron Krakow hasn't blocked me on social media yet,

[02:42:46] but it's because I'm just so not, I'm not even worth it to block, but I'm so obsessed with her partner. It's just Vic. Love you, Aaron. It's so fun when we get to take these clips and post them on Instagram. Just to remind people.

[02:43:04] People don't listen to this all at once sometimes, Jax. Even Dr. Carson knows where the leg is. He would've done it. Even the guy who's killed people. That's right. Even him. Remember when Dr. Carson killed his wife? He's been shot in the leg.

[02:43:20] Remember when Dr. Carson killed his wife? Yeah, and they let him go for it again. Oh, here's the best. It's worth it. It's terrible. It's terrible. Should we wrap it again? No, it looks great. One bad apple, a Hannah Swenson mystery, April 11th, 2024. Norman- Really funny in this.

[02:43:46] Say it, say it. I thought Vic Webster was still the star of the moment. Of course, he's Vic Webster. He's a god. Okay. So, and when the trumpet sounds, Vic's coming. That's all I got. Fighting chance with Vic Webster. It's time for all the feels.

[02:44:01] This is where we talk about what this movie gave us those feels. I'll start with you, Brian. After this song. I'll start with you. A fighting chance with Vic Webster. A fighting chance with Vic Webster. Vic Webster! Boy, that's good. That's great. That's good TV. Me?

[02:44:21] You got a specific drawing. How about, can you, you know what I want to do? You know what I would like to challenge you with? And maybe this could be a little incentive to join bramblejamplus.com. I would like for you to take a cooking class

[02:44:34] and then do like a short, sorry, baking class and then do like short 15 minute recap podcast for the exclusive, for exclusives. Oh, exclusives? Like letting people know, letting people know what you learned, maybe trying your own new thing. I don't know. I'm just throwing out ideas.

[02:44:50] It sounds like a fun project. Actually, producer Aaron has- Just pulled it up. All sold out. All sold out. Cake baking, cake baking. I want something that I don't know. Those are only the last next 10 days. I bet if you keep going, yeah. Ooh, I love chicken salad.

[02:45:04] But this is just at one location in Green Bay. So what are you looking for? You said no to cakes. You said no to cooking with strawberries. Like a pastry or a... No, I don't need to do cookies. I don't know, but we'll agree on-

[02:45:16] I don't need to do cookies or cakes. I just want to bake something. You don't want to bake. You don't want to bake. Shut up, Brian. You're done for the episode. Cookies, I mean everybody can- I want to go to a baking class.

[02:45:26] I don't want cookies or cakes is what you just said. What about gnocchi? Gnocchi's not- Gnocchi. Is that, that's pasta. Yeah, that is probably delicious. It looks like it could be. I would do that. I would do that. Cakes are, cake is a cake.

[02:45:39] Like, I don't know, I can make a great cake. Unless it's a cool cake that I don't know nothing about. What people can't see is, what people can't see is Aaron is sweating from how hard it was to look these up. I mean, it was so-

[02:45:51] You see what I mean then, Aaron? She pretty much skydived. See what I'm talking about. She, she like is unbelievable. He jumped out of it so crazy. I like the idea. I'm having a tough time. Yeah, you are. That, all the feels really took it out of me.

[02:46:03] And after we climbed a mountain that is looking up baking classes. Let's all take a nap. We've all worked hard here tonight. I want to run a marathon. I want to sign up for a baking class. We'll be right back. Maybe two probably Alps. Hello, friends?

[02:46:14] And then sign up for one local baking class. Maybe a handmade biscuit, artisan-based biscuit. I don't know. Bro, if you take a biscuit class, I will lose my mind. Scone class? What in this movie made us go wait, what? I'll start with the red.

[02:46:27] At the chameleon, Hannah ordered a glass of red wine. Am I right? I mean, I mean. I'm just happy you do it. You do it every once in a while. I couldn't wait, man. It's fantastic. Couldn't wait. That's a callback from over two years ago

[02:46:45] before Brian was on the podcast. And I love it every time. What is it? Panda, Panda decided one day for a wait, what? He was going to try to slide by us that a character ordered a beer. Just a beer. And didn't call out a brand name.

[02:46:59] And he thought that was a good wait, what? And we just, we just rested. Rest in peace, obviously. Yeah, for those of you who don't know Panda. But once every four or five months, Brian does it and it's fantastic. Wonderful. Nicely done, Brian. Thank you.

[02:47:14] That was a good time. Bradford was. He just can't go into a bar and order red wine. What's red? So many reds. So many reds. Oh man. Yeah, and the best is, is that the woman holding the gun never sees her drop one.

[02:47:32] And she's like, it's a bright turquoise, always well lit. And she's just chucking it out willy nilly and nobody, the woman with the gun. Is that willy nilly? Yeah. We got him? What's up baby boy? Willie, how's it been, man? I'm so good.

[02:47:51] I'm on the road right now. Since fire, fire, fire. We were both there. Not that one. Not that one. Years prior. Spelled normal. Spelled normal. We celebrate fire. You live up to your name there. You went all willy nilly. I went all willy nilly. I gotta be honest.

[02:48:11] A lot of people think maybe they get fire from back then. I, it's mine. I came up with it. This is why I decided to keep my distance a little bit. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm no caveman. You're a jokester. You're no caveman. Thank you, Willie.

[02:48:25] Anything else for us? I'm going to be at the house of blues. Different, different, different than the big venues. Is that where this year's fire fest spelled normally is? No, I'm actually doing a new thing. I'm doing a new thing called water con. Water con.

[02:48:41] I'm trying to be all in the elements. And a lot of people say maybe water came from earth. No, sorry. It's your boy, Willie Nilly. You know, there was a chance in there for Willie to hang up and it would have been perfect.

[02:48:57] And then he stayed on the line. I'm kidding. I didn't create water. He stayed on the line and it got real terrible. And then it came back around for me anyway. House of blues. So if he hangs up now, I think he nailed it. He's a massage therapist.

[02:49:11] I thought he might stick around a little bit longer. What about the other elements though? The air up there. When's that fest? Oh, you want to talk more? Yes. I'm working on a few things with the other elements. The air. Is there any more? Wind, air. Wind!

[02:49:29] Oh, shut up and be. Wind and air are the same thing, you dumb ass. Are you serious? No. Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, Daniel. You mean to tell me you think that the wind and the air are the same? Yes.

[02:49:43] Well, you are nothing but a big old whipple snapper. All right. I'm kidding. I know the difference. But do you? All right. Thank you, Willie. That was fantastic. Beastie Boys. Beastie Boys. Viv Leacock, April 12th, 2024. In the last 10 years, Viv, and not to scoot ahead too much,

[02:50:09] in the last 10 years, how many IMDb credits of different shows and movies do you think you've done? Not how many episodes, just how many different programs and movies have you been on in the last 10 years? 10 years. 2014. 12. 70. Seven? It says that you from- That's a big gap! Wow!

[02:50:38] Viv, from 2014- Is there a clone working that you're not aware of? You are the hardest working man in show business, according to IMDb, unless they're just lying. I mean- Wow. 2014. Throw out a title. See if he did it. Hold on, I gotta scroll back up.

[02:50:54] We're gonna play a game called Did You Do It? Did You Do It? All right, let's play that game. Let's play the game Did You Do It? Were you in an episode of Almost Human? Yes. Yeah. Were you in Bed Bugs, a musical love story? Yes, I was.

[02:51:10] Were you in an episode of Signed, Sealed, Delivered? Yes, I was. Were you in High Moon? Yep. I think it might be 70, Viv. Were you in Santa Hunters? Santa Hunters, yeah. There's 70 after 2014? Viv, those are all just from 2014, Viv! He did 12 in 2014.

[02:51:31] Viv, that's not individual, like in Supernatural, you were in three episodes. When Calls the Heart, 38 episodes. That only counts as one. You're in 70, and that is just in the last 10 years. You are working, sir. You are after it out there. I might be working a little too much.

[02:51:53] We got two more things we have to get to before rapid fire, and we've gotta have you back, Viv, because I wanna talk about Haley Dean. I've not seen those. Everybody tells us we have to watch them. Our producer is going crazy that I've not seen them,

[02:52:04] that everybody says you're the best part of these. They're so good is what our producer Aaron just said. So it's the best. Aaron, just relax. Aaron, calm it down over there. All right, Aaron, you have five seconds to say whatever you want to to Viv, go.

[02:52:18] Oh no, that's so much pressure. Five, four, three, two, one. You're an awesome part of that cast. I love when they rebooted it. That's all we got. Yeah, that's it. It was really kind. There's nothing we can do there. I'm sorry, it's all the time we have.

[02:52:30] How the Gringos Stole Christmas, April 15th, 2024. They say you've given me the best Christmas gift, which is you as my husband. And they've skipped so many. You didn't do. They've skipped so many things. Like unless they got eloped last night. Unless they got eloped?

[02:52:49] Yeah, unless they got eloped. Dang it, I can see now. Unless they got weddinged last night. Yeah, well, you know, the melons can't get married because they can't elope. This white person in this movie doesn't know the rules of soccer. Everyone, everyone knows.

[02:53:12] They're the easiest rules to learn. You can't touch the ball with your hands, kick it in the goal. This dude doesn't know the rules to soccer? You know, we give the Hanukkah movies a hard time for like being like, well, tell me about this Christmas.

[02:53:30] Tell me about these eight lights and these two. This movie takes the cake. Legend of the Lost Locket, April 16th, 2024. Let's see. Legend of the Lost, I wrote down pocket. Where'd my pocket go? Someone took it. Well, we'll give you a refund

[02:53:52] because the axle broke on the rental car. The rental car that you rented and we said would work isn't working. You're on your own, you're SOL. Maybe they didn't say it would work. Maybe they didn't. Say what? Hello? Who is this? This is Axel Broke.

[02:54:10] Your first name is Axel? I'm Axel Rose's brother. We have the same name, different last. No. Same first name, different last. So you are the brother of Axel Rose from Guns N' Roses? Wow, that's cool. But your last name is different. Yes. Axel Broke. By birth, it's different.

[02:54:35] Obviously. By birth, it's different. Okay, and why are you calling in? I thought you called me. I didn't, I didn't. You said Axel Broke, come here. Hannah, come here, cute little boy, come here. Huge mistake, really sorry. You got any questions for him? I don't have anything.

[02:54:52] Give me one. How long did it take to fix an axle? I don't know, Jack Squire about cars. Man, you got one. When you say your last name was different at birth, what do you mean? It means that at birth, they did a switch them ups.

[02:55:11] I ended up somewhere else. Are your mom and dad the same as Axel Rose's mom and dad? Yes, but they didn't know about me. Neither of them. That makes sense, yeah. They didn't know about me. That explains it, yeah. Okay, all right, that's a great answer.

[02:55:25] Thank you, Axel. Aaron, do you have a question? No, no, no. For me, Axel Broke, do you got a question? I have no question. All right, God bless, guys. You have none, you're fine with this? Yeah. Oh, go ahead, sorry, Bran muted you.

[02:55:39] We almost, she was almost gone. If I ask less questions, maybe he'll hang up. Ooh, yeah, that's tall. Joke's on you, producer. As someone that's been to Boston. Sorry guys, that was weird. That was so weird. Bran, did you have a question for Axel Broke? I didn't.

[02:55:58] I feel like you guys handled it. We got the gist of it. It's different, just a different last name and birth. Switch them up. When Calls the Heart, season 11, episode two, April 17th, 2024. I can't wait either. Also, the other reason it's the best of my week

[02:56:13] is at this point we're recording this. What are you doing? You were over here for a long time. I was just right here. No, you were kind of in the- No, I was not over there. You were basically right now. I was right here.

[02:56:21] You were putting your hand on my leg. There's nowhere else I was not. How would I? I can put my hand on your leg if that's what you want. Okay. This, by recording this episode- Yeah, I think I, that scene, maybe it's the magic,

[02:56:38] maybe it's the chemistry between Aaron Craig and Kevin McGarry, but when he was doing whatever he was doing with the glitter in her hair, trying to pull the coin out, whatever it was, because I actually couldn't understand it that well, probably because I was horned up.

[02:56:54] I was horned up. I thought it was great, you guys. And it gave me feels, horned up feels. The other thing that I want to point out- This is from a separate podcast we do, and it's not, we can't put it even on the air, but

[02:57:11] Jax is a co-host, I'll tell you that much. It was excellent. They ask him, I know that a lot of you out there are pulling for Elizabeth and Gowen, and that's fine. They ask him how Abigail is, and he says this line,

[02:57:28] she's as fine as she's ever been. Are you kidding me right now? He knocked on that door, she opened it up, and we didn't hear from him for a weekend. That is what happened. That line delivery- He kept knocking on doors, if you know what I mean.

[02:57:45] Oh my goodness, are you kidding me right now? Gowen, like just that, I was just like- Like if people thought that the polling, the little star glitter out of her hair was hot. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Give Gowen two minutes with Elizabeth. That's right.

[02:58:04] No, they had more- Well, hold on. I'm sure he can last longer. The way you said that, hashtag horned up feels. That is what we're hashtag- Like in the scene where they hugged, the chemistry there is, it is clear as day that Elizabeth is attracted to Gowen.

[02:58:21] It is clear as day. How's Abigail? She's as fine as she's ever been. Guys, listen, I love Baby Jack as much as the next guy. There's no way- It sounded like- What did I say? It sounded like you almost said

[02:58:41] you love Baby Jack as naked as the next guy, and I want you to be able to correct that now or the drummers will have a boy. Correct the record. That's not what I meant. It's not even what I said. I was trying to say-

[02:58:57] I'm sure Aaron certainly thought so. I was trying to say as, okay. I was trying to say- And I wish we had the Aaron Camel in there. I was trying to say as much as the next guy. I don't know if you know this about me.

[02:59:08] Sometimes I have a hard time with words, and it came out, I think, at I love Baby Jack- As much as the next guy is what you're trying to say. Yes, but I think it just came out, I love Baby Jack neck guy. Yes, yes, yes. And so-

[02:59:21] That's what happened. Yeah. Stacked a lifetime on court, game show palooza number two, April 18th, 2024. So I just texted Patrick as well. Send it in. You're the weakest link. Phones down, heads up seven up. Okay. So, oh, hold on. My phone's in airplane mode. God almighty.

[02:59:43] We cracked games. We cracked it. All right. Games never stood a chance. Okay. All right, so how did she die? Madison? How many sisters did she kill? Ooh, how many did she kill? Yes. Option A, 10. 10 sisters. Option B, four. Patrick Serrano now voicing the SAT.

[03:00:10] Patrick, can I ask you a question? Did you- Yes, yes. 10 sisters. Did you forget to do multiple choice for this one? Well, yes, but I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. The last one's gonna be like frogs. 10 sisters, six sisters, 12 sisters, six frogs. What?

[03:00:32] Okay, we're going with A as 10. Sisters, got it. Yeah, sisters. All right, your options are of upcoming Lifetime movies in the next month or so. Wow. My Child, hold on. Okay. My Child, hold on. I think that one is fake. Oh, my child, hold on.

[03:00:56] Pascal Hutton, April 19th, 2024. One person that we get requested, not just during When Calls the Heart season, but every time she makes a movie, Pascal Hutton, and she's here. She's here today. Wow. Pascal, welcome to Deck the Hallmark. Thanks. Deck the Hallmark. Thank you, thank you.

[03:01:15] You finally wore me down. That's right. Yeah, it was years of return letters. Yes. We write handwritten letters. People don't know that. It's actually a little rough. And you just, yeah, you have a middle finger stamp. You just stamped on them and you sent them right back.

[03:01:28] So thanks, thank you. Which is fair. Which is fair. Persistence pays off here is what it is. You know what? My stamp just wore out at me, so here we are. Well, yeah, and you're from Canada. It would be impolite to not respond.

[03:01:40] So instead you just did the show. That's basic. There's gonna be a scene with that person. And so you could see when you're young, like, oh, this might be like, there's an allure because it's on a bigger scale than you've maybe worked before.

[03:01:55] But it's like a bigger scale and like maybe more exposure than you really want to put out there. Great, that's great advice from you. As somebody who's been shirtless on this show, I wish someone gave me that advice for me before that happened.

[03:02:07] Before you did a weight loss. I didn't know that this show goes that direction. Well, we had Tyler Hines on and he took his shirt off to try to get Tyler Hines to take his shirt off. And I'm sorry, if you want to hang up right now,

[03:02:18] that's fine. It was a ratings get. Which we got. Did it work? No. Did it work? Thanks for asking. We had an ad, it was right before the break. Pascal, you have to hear this. He takes his shirt off and he's so proud of himself.

[03:02:32] And then we go to a break and the ad he has to read is for new weight loss. And he's reading it shirtless on camera. An iconic moment. An iconic moment in Deck the Hallmark history. One for the history books. This sounds perfect. That's right.

[03:02:49] One for the history books and for Google. And for Google. And for Google. That's what we Google. Brain and Gray Deck the Hallmark shirtless is the thing we get most often. I hate to say, I think it would pop up. It would probably pop up. Shot unfortunately.

[03:03:02] I lied, I have one more. Pascal, is this the season where Elizabeth and Gowen finally end up together? I think the tension's there. It is clear. Elizabeth and Gowen over here. That's not what we're, we know that Gowen is meant to be with Abigail. Don't be slick.

[03:03:17] I don't think, listen, I don't think that. I respect the opinion that that maybe could have been a possibility. Yes. But we have to talk about what we see on the screen. And what we see on the screen is Elizabeth and Gowen, the sparks are flying.

[03:03:36] I'm just saying, I know the people. They're both talking about Abigail. He made a special trek to go see Abigail. I think that's on, that's happening, whether it's on screen or not. I'm not opposed to a throuple. I think, listen, I think Christmas in the vineyards, April 22nd, 2024.

[03:03:57] His mom then says, you're gonna go to this small town and you're gonna blend in. And so you can't have all the normal perks that you have. We found a place for you to stay. You also can't have your normal company car. You've got to go incognito.

[03:04:13] What is incognito for him? A bumblebee yellow Fiat 500 with a black racing stripe on the side of it. No, nothing says I'm from out of town. Ask me about my bank account more than a bright yellow Fiat 500 with a black racing stripe. Camouflage, dazzle camouflage.

[03:04:38] There's three 1989 Chevys and a Fiat 500 as bright as the sun. The shade Fiat gets in this movie is unjust. They're like, this car starts shaking over 30. Guys, Fiat's a real company. You can't do that. Real people made this car. It's not a Vespa, it's a car.

[03:04:58] There's a woman on the board or something of Baldwin that at three different times. This is a great one. Is like, where's Carter? What's going on with Carter? She is thirsty for some Carter. What's going on with this woman and Carter? It is unbelievable. This woman is-

[03:05:17] This woman is- Gets her job to be 65 years old. She has written her own backstory. She is definitely like similar age to the mom and she's very concerned about where Carter is. Way more concerned than the mom ever is. A whole Cougar narrative going on.

[03:05:35] I think she's got something going on for Carter. It's just- Falling in love in Niagara, April 23rd, 2024. Character, is it Madeline? Is that her name? Yes. Madeline is one of my least favorite leads we've ever had. Not the actor, the character. She is insufferable.

[03:05:55] Her and that dude at the beginning of this movie, they deserve each other. Jeremy, Jason, they deserve each other. They are both insufferable human beings. How much of that has to do with the fact that she's opinionated and you don't like opinionated women? Yeah, yeah, of course.

[03:06:09] You know me. He was saying that earlier, Aaron, right? He was saying that earlier to you in particular? This is unbelievable. I'm not allowed to speak to Dan and Tom Storm, too. Of course, right. But I'm asking you and you know that I'm for you

[03:06:22] and that I'm always cheering you on. Always encouraging you. Yes, thank you. You're so encouraging. Five, four, three- That goes for me double. Yes. Thank you, Aaron. Sorry, Dan, go ahead. Talk about how much you get the length of it. You gotta do what you gotta do.

[03:06:35] She's insufferable. Yeah, we're not talking about Aaron anymore. No, no, no. Okay. All right. I don't talk to Aaron because she didn't speak to me and she knows she can't do that unless she's spoken to. That's what the law says up behind her.

[03:06:47] It says it right behind her, actually. It says- It's time for all the feels where we talk about what this movie gave us feels. Braga? Yeah, this was my favorite karaoke scene in a movie that we've seen. I almost- Is this the scene? Brian, kindly, kindly-

[03:07:03] Oh, come on. Exit the premise. Say you're doing a stand. Tell me you're doing a bit. Tell me you're doing a bit. I enjoyed it. What do you mean you enjoyed it? I feel like the music choices were good for the couples. Dude, you're doing a bit.

[03:07:14] I'm not. You are trying to be as Brian. You're like, I'm filling up my Brian take and top it off. You are not. This is not real. It's not. I thought it might be the best karaoke scene in a Hallmark movie that I've seen.

[03:07:28] You should be shot on sight. This is my favorite one. It didn't feel cringy or awkward like they usually do to me. Are you kidding me? I had a fun time. I liked it. Just go to Brian. Just go to Brian. Just go to his face.

[03:07:39] Go to Juan, whatever that is. I thought it was good. I liked it. I could have used more of it. You could have used more of it. It was insufferable. I mean, I wish there were more people there to see it.

[03:07:47] What do you mean you liked the music choices? Describe it. Describe the music. Duets. Describe it. Old timey love songs. So you're telling me, you're telling me you go to karaoke and three straight times people go on stage and do that?

[03:08:03] And you're like, yeah, give me one of that. That's what I want out of karaoke night. Are you kidding me? I gotta be honest with you. If at Bramble Fest, you go up there and you try this once. So help me God, Brian.

[03:08:15] If you go up and you try it. Excuse me. No, thank you. All right. Thanks, Trace. Appreciate that. Both Trace and Rigg this week. Trace, how you doing? I'm doing great. Thank you for asking. Good, good, good, good. Glad. Anything else? I'm having my bar mitzvah. Your what?

[03:08:33] My bar mitzvah. About time. I don't know if I wanna ask any more questions. You shouldn't. What's the theme? What, no, Brian. What is it you're having? And don't just say that again. What is it that you're having? I realize I've gone too far. Yeah.

[03:08:52] I've said too much. Thank you. Thank you. That's Trace. For those of you that are on the platform. Speaker Steve said I can't say anything else. Speaker Steve probably wise on his part. First Baptist Lilies. Shout out. First Baptist.

[03:09:03] A lot of people said it wouldn't make it this long. COVID. The economy. The economy, thank you. Anything else, Trace? Those two things, it sounds like. I was offended by the montage in this meeting. The Red Lobster can't even make it anymore. Yep, they can't. They went bankrupt.

[03:09:24] That's exactly right. That's exactly the right time. Not First Baptist Lily. Not First Baptist Lily. Thriving. They're a non-profit, so. Thriving. You don't need the profit. We're up to 17 people. It's thriving, yeah. When Calls the Heart season 11 episode three, April 24th, 2024. I would watch 22 episodes of this

[03:09:54] for one more season of the West Wing, Jax. Oh my gosh, absolutely. Oh, one more season of the West Wing. Bring Aaron Sorkin back. Jax, you know it's not happening, right? You were responding as if it was actually on the table. I've got Aaron Sorkin on the line,

[03:10:09] and I was like, if it's gonna take what it's gonna take. Like, I've pulled all the strings here. I've made it through that. Walking and talking. I have to tell you guys something really funny quickly about the West Wing,

[03:10:19] that the other day, I don't usually do CBD gummies, but I was having one in the evening to relax. I took two straws. Oh, okay, good, Brian. We should make them a sponsor of the pod. They did. The microdose. I don't know who you were using,

[03:10:33] but microdose was a sponsor. Well, I thought, okay, oh, hi, Microdose. I thought I was microdosing. Let me just say I wasn't. Mistakes were made, and I was at a whole new level of not knowing what existence was, and the only thing I could say,

[03:10:49] I said to Alex, I said, I don't know what's happening. I don't feel tethered to reality. Put on West Wing, I need something familiar, and then I fell asleep to just Jed Bartlett comforting me, and that's all that was keeping me tethered to reality was West Wing,

[03:11:08] so I would do almost anything for another season. Yeah, and apparently, I'm the worst negotiator in the world because what I asked for was a 22-episode When Calls the Heart season. Ah, bad. Bad joke. This looks cute. I've never seen a,

[03:11:24] we need something for Henry Gowen to do more than, what if he builds him a daycare or lets him use the space? A daycare. He's like strumming a guitar and they're all sitting around. Who's the guy that killed all of our husbands? Ah!

[03:11:37] What if, what if we got, what's his name? He killed all of our husbands. All of them? Some of our sons. What if we got, what if we got the guy that killed our husbands and sons to, what can we do? You know the guy responsible

[03:11:53] for the forgive me, pa situation? Yeah. What if he could, what if he could start a daycare for us? Listen man, it's the beauty of forgiveness. What are we doing? It's the beauty of forgiveness. There's no testimony without test, am I right? That's exactly right. Forgive me, pa.

[03:12:09] And I'm also, There's no sinner for minors without a killer for minors, am I right? Up top. Way downtown, bang! Oh. I haven't thought about forgive me, pa in a long time. Thank you, Bran for bringing it back. Your wife, what's her thoughts on minors and?

[03:12:31] She thinks that all mine deaths are hoaxes. You know that. Jax learned that. You, you, she, we are both big coal mine death hoax people. Like we both, we feel so strongly about it. That's where I proposed, you know that right? I know that.

[03:12:54] Jax knows that of course. May preview show, April 26th, 2024. Barbecue. We should just keep the sales. I can't give something half a barbecue. No. We should keep this. What about ribs? Yeah. What about ribs? And we bring in a rippy. Rippy in. What else we got, anything else?

[03:13:12] That's it? I think Aaron anticipated us knowing what maypoles were. I think that she anticipated us. Big let down. Yeah, maypole. I got nothing. I love that we asked and she just looked at us. Maypoles though. She looked at us in pure disappointment. I'm sorry. What about ribs?

[03:13:29] We like ribs. We do like ribs. Yeah. A rack of ribs or a half rack. A rack. I like that. I like that. Give me five. Wait a second though. Guys, I'm just thinking, I'm not going to say it, but I'm just imagining we're giving ribs

[03:13:42] and a rack or a half a rack. And then if we add something to it, we're back in a situation where I don't know if creaming ribs is a great representation of how we really feel about movies or what have you. So you mean to say,

[03:13:56] if I said two and a half racks and a cream, that would be a problem? Just use your discretion. Just use your discretion in the way in which you say it. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Everybody knows we're not trying to do something weird here. We know. We know.

[03:14:12] We're just thinking of all the scenarios. We started with coffees. We used creams to talk about a little added bonus to it. Yeah, a little something, something. And now here we are. Here we are. There's nothing we can do. Memorial day ribs.

[03:14:27] How about we could say creaming it with some barbecue sauce? Squirting some barbecue sauce on there? Squirt a sauce? I don't know. Let's just stick to what we know. We'll cream it. You want to be like, give me say like three racks of ribs

[03:14:39] and put some sauce on it? Yeah. Instead of cream. We won't have cream. In some cases, sauce would ruin the rib. I think we have to stick with creams for the sake of tradition. Sure. Or die trying. Earthquake underground, it's happening. Brian, two Qs. Two Qs?

[03:15:01] Hold on my cream. Two ribs, what have you? Two ribs? Two ribs. Singular? Racks. Quarter rack. Quarter rack for Brian. Oh, so this is where it gets tricky. Yeah, I guess a quarter rack for ribs. A rack or a half rack? Half rack, because quarter,

[03:15:12] a half rack is four, right? Yeah, a rack of ribs. So I'm going two, so quarter rack. You're really giving it a quarter rack? We can, okay. So you're doing .25 for this? You put that under Dan, by the way. It felt like a Dan rating.

[03:15:26] What are you talking about a quarter rack? Earthquake underground, you're giving it a quarter rack? I was thinking one rack was like a five, but it would be- No! This is unbelievable. This is ridiculous. We've gone so far off of what we normally do. Karaoke's the best seed.

[03:15:40] Eight bones equals a five, what is your problem? Two maples. Two maples. Holding my cream on those two maples. Holding onto that cream. Two racks of ribs from Brian. Two maples. I still- Gosh darn it, Brian. This movie's not even gonna come out, so it doesn't matter.

[03:15:56] It is out! It is out now. We'll see. It's out now. Hopefully it doesn't get to the X-Fact TV today. And are we getting two creams overall? Two creams total. How many total movies? How many do we have to do? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

[03:16:11] Okay, all right, whatever. Let's get it done. Let's go. Yeah, okay. This is absurd. I'm making stuff up right now. Four racks of ribs. I'm not, I am creaming it since it's out now. Thank you. A Vineyard Christmas. April 29th, 2024. Well, you know what the thing is,

[03:16:27] is we're so excited. It's May right now. Right. It's May. It is May. We are mere weeks away. It's gonna be May. We're weeks away. Is it? Are you sure it's still April? Man, it's still April. It's definitely still April. It's kind of like May,

[03:16:48] but there's still showers. Look, I'm telling you, it's been a weird day, guys. Keep your eyes peeled on that. An actual interview with Alonzo. We get to have Alonzo as an interview guest? Listen. I've been trying to make that deal happen for five years now,

[03:17:06] and his people have been ruthless. They're awful. It's unbelievable. They're awful. Every time my name came up, it was like, is he on When Calls the Heart? No, then pass. It's true. That's right. That's true. That's right. You do need to pick a team, Nathan or Lucas,

[03:17:22] before the interview. You need to know that right now. I thought we were all Gowan. Okay, well, that's fair. You can pick that. You can pick Gowan. I didn't really have any real feels. I did enjoy the awkward moment where they're gonna kiss under the mistletoe

[03:17:38] and then just do a weird handshake. I enjoyed that, and it resonated a bit with me. Maybe a little bit. A little bit. Maybe lived that life. You've done that. You've done an almost kiss, awkward handshake under the mistletoe. I honestly don't know if I have,

[03:17:57] but it feels like something I would have done had I was given the opportunity. Had I was given the opportunity. Had I was given the opportunity. Hitting around a word ball is all you're doing. Had I was. Had I was. Had I was. Had I was.

[03:18:15] Had I was. Had I was. Had I was. Had I was. Had I was given the opportunity. Yeah. Getting real folks on, had I was. In 2013 in the back of a cab in Costa Rica, Brant asked me if South Carolina was a Hampton.

[03:18:32] He said, is South Carolina a Hampton? And I've known him. We've been doing this thing for 11 years, and I still don't know what he's talking about. I still don't know what he means by that. Is South Carolina a Hampton? You don't know either.

[03:18:56] It's something to do with Wayne Hampton, but I don't know what entirely. No. Is it a Hampton? And you've yet to answer me. It's a simple yes or no. Is South Carolina a part of Long Island? Yeah, is South Carolina a Hampton? A Hampton. One of them?

[03:19:18] And the snowman that wins only has two balls. Not, like it only has two. I got it. It only has two. There should be three. There should be three. Like, it should have a. You should go to a doctor, brother. You gotta get that looked at, man.

[03:19:33] Listen, one, two, three. The number of structures in the snowman, get your mind out of the gutter, throng to throng, throng, throng. Branching out April 30th, 2024. I had a great weekend as well, Peter Porowski. Also hung out with you. We all got distracted.

[03:19:51] I hung out with everybody but Brian this weekend, so it was actually a pretty good weekend. Wow. Well, I hung out with the best Grays, Grizzly and Gavin. And then Brian had to come home at some point. So I saw him there.

[03:20:03] But then why didn't you come over? I never heard a reason why you weren't there on Saturday night or game night. Oh, we, I went to Pickens. Right, of course. On Saturday morning. Oh, can you tell people, did you stay for the husband calling?

[03:20:17] Is that what it was called? The husband? The husband calling, yes. Husband calling contest? We did not stay in the arena area for husband calling, but don't you worry, you could hear it throughout the entire festival. Now, explain husband calling really quickly.

[03:20:32] Which festival did you go to in Pickens? The Azalea Festival. Yes. Now explain husband calling, because this was news to me as well. I mean, I know what it is, but for these guys. So it is women get up on stage and they do their best,

[03:20:46] their best yell of how they get their husband's attention. And it's a bit like, I think you would call like a dog or something. But it always, it seems to, cause we looked up a couple of videos. It does seem like it starts with the name

[03:21:01] and then just degrading them and then the name at the back. And so it'd be like, Dan! Come here right now, you're always so late. Come here now, you're always so late, you big dummy. Dan! The one woman that I heard one,

[03:21:17] she hit an octave that I didn't know humans could hear. And I don't think she took a breath for like a full minute. Like that, it just reached the whole festival. Like we were a few streets away. That's how Pickens classes up all of their festivals.

[03:21:34] Typically with some yelling of some sort. You know the- They also had food trucks and that's kind of why I really wanted. Enjoyed this movie. I thought they did a really good job. It was really well done. It's sort of a good PSA for people who like,

[03:21:46] if you don't want to be a parent and you're not like, and you don't want to go to jail, don't do a DNA test and don't let anybody in your family do a DNA test and put it online. But if you're cool with like maybe having a kid

[03:21:57] or going to jail, because for whatever you've done, you can submit your DNA online. But just be careful putting your DNA online. It sounds like you are against these DNA companies. Would you ever do one? No, no, no. This guy rejects all cookies all the time. Absolutely not.

[03:22:12] He is just- You can't, but the problem is- He's got money under his mattress right now. In my dresser or next to my mattress, I do. Can we just be really clear here and like maybe also don't commit crimes? Why are you sticking up for the criminals here?

[03:22:26] I'm just saying whether you did a crime or not, or somebody in your family- If you didn't do the crime, then it won't matter. That's right. It's DNA. Somebody in your family could have done a crime and then any DNA in your family could lead back to them.

[03:22:39] So you gotta protect- Then they should do the time. You have to protect your family criminals. No, obviously the crime, don't do the crime, obviously. If you don't want to do the time. But I'm just, it's so dangerous because one person in your family throws it up there

[03:22:53] and it's like, it's a free for all. I'm going to find a way- No. Get a mug that Brian's been using and go somehow get it in the system. I'm too willy nilly with my mugs and trash.

[03:23:03] I'm going to start taking my trash with me when I leave. So Danielle's got, she's on to something new here. It's in that vein. And it's a little game show called Super. Soup or. Is that what it is? Is it super or something else? Or something else, yes.

[03:23:22] And it's just called super? Soup or. Soup or. Super. Soup or like ellipses? Soup or ellipses? Okay. So give me an example. So like it would be, you'd be on the panel and- But your soup is a liquid base. Yeah, it's harder than cake.

[03:23:38] It's not like is it porridge or stew? Like it is soup, liquid base. How do you fool somebody into thinking this? How do you think, is it not? Like how, is it just like got them, it's chili. No, no, it's tricky because it all appears to be liquid.

[03:23:53] Appears to have a soup consistency. But sometimes it's not. They're hiding a steak in that bad boy? Sometimes they're hiding. No, they would never. They wouldn't do that. It's like you'll open it, you have to taste it. Obviously you sample it. And sometimes it's actual soup.

[03:24:08] And sometimes it's like something else inside. Wouldn't you know if they hand you a spoon or not if it was a soup? Well, you would know it's a liquid soup. But it could be soup or egg. But sometimes it's just like poor Gatorade in a bowl

[03:24:19] and they're like, is this soup or is it Gatorade? Like for example, they would say like, for example, this bowl is a woodpecker. And you would say, okay, that's either a woodpecker in there or it's soup. It's 20 woodpeckers saving my cream. Write that one down there.

[03:24:35] I gotta be honest. I'm sorry, I was there and then you brought up woodpeckers. It could be anything. It could be anything inside. That's not a liquid. No, but it could be inside there instead of there being the standard. There's a dead woodpecker.

[03:24:45] Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be, you look at it and you have to decide whether or not that's soup or it's like another liquid that they've made to look like soup instead of a solid object like a woodpecker? No, I think having-

[03:24:57] There's a dead bird in the water? We don't know if it's dead. It's underwater, Brian. Woodpeckers are pretty good underwater. Woodpeckers cannot breathe underwater. You don't have gills. A gilled woodpecker? Get out of here. You're only underwater for like a minute. They shove it under there?

[03:25:13] Yeah, real quick behind the curtain. You think a bird's holding its breath for a minute? I gotta be honest. It's gonna be doing a little flapping, but yeah, it's gonna hold its breath. It's got no choice. This sounds very interesting for literally the worst- We got a clip!

[03:25:25] Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. We got three contestants today. Is it a bowl of liquid? Is there a bird under there drowning slowly in soup? Oh! Welcome to your host, Brian. Thank you for joining us today on What is a Soup?

[03:25:40] Pause the clip, pause the clip. Brian, you- Brian, you're the host? You host the show? You host Soup War? I didn't think this was an important detail, but now we're here. Well, I gotta be honest. Is that why you came up with that cockamamie scheme

[03:25:54] to drown a bird? Seeing as how- Seeing as how you were so bad at describing it to us, I can't wait to hear how you describe it as the host. All right, play the clip. Okay, so thanks for joining us today on Soup War.

[03:26:05] It's funny you have three cans. Kill the birds! Kill the birds! We have three bowls and you have to decide, do we have soup or- Take your shirt off. Something else. Oh, I'm not taking my shirt off. Though I could have a shirt in one of those bowls.

[03:26:21] Brian, what's in- I think you're dying! What's in bowl number one? Kill another bird! I have a bite. Bowl number one, thank you for your time. I'm looking at- I'm bowl number two. Yum, yum, oh yeah! And I'm bowl number three. I like long walks on the beach.

[03:26:42] Can we pause the clip one more time? Three great options. You didn't tell me the bowls talked. How are you supposed to know? Had I known that the bowls talked- I didn't want to talk it up too much,

[03:26:52] but now that we're here, I'm glad you guys get it. This show seems so little to do with soup. Soup. So little. Well, it's Soup War. The bowls talk. Emphasis on the or. The bowls talk, Brian. It could be a voiceover. You don't know if it's the bowl

[03:27:06] or somebody pretending to be the bowl. And I'm pretty sure that second bowl was the Kool-Aid man. So is it, could that- That could be soup. Oof. Did someone try Kool-Aid soup? Did someone try to kill you in that episode? Someone in the crowd sent it out.

[03:27:18] Is that a good- Well, that's pretty standard for those. There are a few different things going on, but one of them was I hope you die. Pretty standard for those episodes, yeah. Yeah, it's a controversial topic. Where can you find these episodes? So this is, it's Philo, obviously.

[03:27:30] You could probably, we're pushing hard to get Philo to pick this up. Oh, so Philo hasn't yet. No, we're pushing hard. Has anybody? It's mostly internet-based. Okay, then let us know where on the internet. A website called just,

[03:27:45] is it soup or a voice of somebody else.net slash index? You gotta work on that. Slash index, you gotta get the index in there. You gotta work on that, you gotta work on that. Win calls the heart, season 11, episode four, May 1st, 2024.

[03:28:02] You're gonna look at that guy and you're gonna be like, who's that, is that Arnold? And I'm gonna be like, no, it's just Fran. It's just Fran. No, Rick? Who? Rick. I'm just, oh, hello there. Rick, how's my Arnold? Two days in a row.

[03:28:19] I know you do a really good. There's a bunch of my ticket. You do a really good Arnold. I do an amazing Arnold. How was, did you hear mine? Oh yeah, I heard it. How? It was dog trash. Oh, what's the key to doing?

[03:28:29] That's where dogs keep their trash. What's the key to doing a good Arnold? You gotta, it's at the back of the throat. Can you teach me? Ah, see, can you do that? Ah, ah, ah. One more, ah. Okay, and then you gotta go ah, ah, ah.

[03:28:45] Nope, you're getting off track there. Ah, ah, ah. Okay, everybody stop listening. Here we go. Get to the chopper! Get to the chopper! You're useless, that's the one still there. Sorry. Elizabeth is gonna help with this. Afterwards, she and Nathan walk and they flirt

[03:29:12] and they have a good time. I don't like saying the word flirt. It makes me feel, does it sound weird coming from me? Yeah, it did sound like you put a little extra emphasis on it. I didn't like it.

[03:29:22] I think you just are trying to figure out how to say it and be normal. Yeah, that's the problem. I'm in my head about the word flirt. If you say it with less of an emphasis, you just go and they flirt and they have a good time.

[03:29:32] You don't add anything. Don't put any sauce on it. When you said it, you didn't. They walk, they flirt, they have a good time. I don't think it's a weird word. Not until this very moment. It's a little bit of a weird word.

[03:29:41] Jax, is it a weird word? I'm gonna be very honest. It only sounds weird coming out of your mouth. Does it? It does sound weird. That's coming from Jack and Colleen. It does! But I'm glad that you're self-aware enough to know that there's something.

[03:29:55] They walk and they flirt. All right, let me try it one more time and I'm not gonna put any extra stank on it. Afterwards, she and Nathan walk and flirt together. It's better, better. That was better? That was better for me.

[03:30:07] It sounded like you tried to rush through it on purpose. Yeah, I did. Afterwards, she and Nathan, they walk, they flirt. We'll get there. Take five's gonna be amazing. He's a great actor. What's that, Baby Jack? What's that, Baby Jack? I thought Graham was gonna talk.

[03:30:25] Yeah, what's up, Jax? Love ya, baby girl! What's up? Baby Jack, would it come to your surprise that I had a different opinion of Baby Jack in this episode? Nah, man, you monster! You monster. You're the monster inside of my head and right next to me!

[03:30:42] Eminem, shout out new album! Death of Slim Shady, that's right. Death of Slim Shady! That's exactly right. Over the place. All right. Nice and tan. Kiss next week, let's do this thing. Dano? Bram, the way you say kiss is now sounding like the way you say flirt.

[03:30:58] Can you say kiss and flirt together? Kiss and flirt? If they were flirting and kissing. Next week, they're gonna flirt the whole episode and they're gonna kiss at the end of it. I hate it. I hate it too. Curious caterer foiled plans May 2nd, 2024. I'm being optimistic.

[03:31:15] Rick Dalby, how you doing, buddy? Oh boy, it's good to be here. It's great to hear your voice. All right. You just got winky up from a nap. Now. Just grinding. I'm grinding, always be grinding. ABC, baby. Rick, you might be wondering,

[03:31:28] and I'm sure the listeners at home are wondering, why is he on the show so early? We're only a minute into the show. And I was told, somebody handed me a note. It just said, Rick has big news. And so obviously, I'm so excited.

[03:31:41] I'm like Brian when I get an email and I have to go and rip open my desktop computer because I'm so excited. What's the big news, buddy? First batch of Kendo. First batch of Kendo. First batch of Kendo. First batch of Kendo, that's right.

[03:31:56] Down at Fitzy's, we've been working on a Kendo. What's Kendo? You know Barbie? Yeah. Yeah, Ken, he's just Ken, you know him? We're baking bread. You're baking bread with Ken? Ken Doe. We're baking Ken bread. What does that mean? You'll get there. Okay. Yeah, so first batch.

[03:32:18] We've been working a long time on this. First batch of Kendo's up. Is it a new type of bread? You can pick it up raw, you can pick up the dough. We could bake the loaf for you, a bit of Ken loaf. That seems like the best option.

[03:32:31] What's the closest, like sourdough, Kendo? I've never heard of this, what? What is it? Sourdough. What's sourdough? It's like a type of bread. What? Sourdough? Sourdough. Why would I want sour bread? I'm not saying you do, I'm just like- You're saying the first thing that came to mind

[03:32:48] when you thought of bread was sour bread? No. And you think I'm crazy for selling Kendo? I don't know what Kendo means. Just come on down and get you some Kendo. Give me a flavor compare, like, okay, so the word- Give me some notes of citrus.

[03:33:03] Okay, getting there. Yeah. Is it like a white? It's like a, it's boggy. How would you describe the color? It's bread. You know when you go to Sherlock Holmes and they say, would you like khaki or bread color, baby? Yeah, Kendo. That's big news, right? Yeah, I guess.

[03:33:23] First batch. It's coming in hot. Literally, when can we try it? You can try it today if you come on down to Fitzy's. You didn't bring us samples? No, we're doing a vape pinoff down at the Fitzy's though. Whoever can smoke the whole vape pin first

[03:33:39] wins a bowl of loaf of Kendo. That's the only thing they win is the Kendo? Oh, that's a big deal. Kendo's huge. Is it? Yeah. It's the first I've heard of it and you've done- It's better than your dumb sour bread. You've done a really bad job.

[03:33:53] Oh, I got sour patch bread. I gotta put sour sprinkles all over the bed. Sour's a descriptor at least. Ken's not a descriptor. Yes, it is. How? I gave you citrus and bulky. But what I'm saying- In that order. What I'm saying is,

[03:34:07] it doesn't like, Ken doesn't tell me anything about the bread. It's just Ken. Do you see the movie or are you not a feminist? Both. You hate women. You hate women and you like your bread sour. That's on you. It's on you, short stack.

[03:34:23] Are you making any sandwiches on the bread? Probably. Are we gonna be gotten that far? Yeah, we'll get there. First batch of Kendo out now. First batch of Kendo. Great, thank you. Man, we've gotta stop. If it says he's got big news. What's weird is someone ran in.

[03:34:42] I don't know who it was and handed me the note. Rick, who was that? That ran in? Shiffy? Who? Shiffy. Is Shiffy, I don't know Shiffy. Shiffy's our runner. You know how the people, the law offices have couriers? Sorry, so you hired someone for your weird bar?

[03:35:02] We have a courier, 50's courier. Just runs out messages? Were they wearing the big hat? Yeah, they were wearing the big hat. Big hat, it was big, 40 gallon hat. It was huge, that was the big takeaway. Mass headed to dip in through the door, right?

[03:35:12] We would not stop talking about that. Because they'd be fired. Shiffy would be fired if they weren't wearing the big hat. No, big hat and running real fast. The fence. They're on the fence. On the fence with Janny Fencer.

[03:35:23] I'm Janny Fencer, thank you for bringing up my program. I didn't think it was a real program. I was on my way to pick up the kendo and I heard you say my name and I figured I'd call in on the fence. You're going to get the kendo.

[03:35:37] I'm Janny Fencer, yeah I am. What's your show about? Are you kendo nuts? Of course I am. That tagline's taking off so fast. Sorry, really quickly, what's your show? On the fence with Janny Fencer. What is it? It's you literally sit in the middle of a fence

[03:35:54] and then we give you an issue and you gotta jump to one side or the other. That's actually pretty cool. It's actually not bad. Thank you for mentioning my program. I'll leave it with you, Janny. You're gonna leave the program with us? Do we get it?

[03:36:09] I think Janny meant leave the show. Leave the show with, I'll leave it, I'll take my answer off the air. Well I wonder if at first they did it and you couldn't tell so they were like. It was like what you described is a happy accident.

[03:36:28] I'm at your level and I smell your hair and I think to myself, self, it's good smelling hair. But this was a thing for him. Full eyes closed situation. This was a thing for him. Yeah, I would've loved to see the first take of that. That's good hair!

[03:36:51] Finally not TV slash DTH. That was weird. That was fun. That was weird. It was an accident! That makes you uncomfortable. It was an accident! Well, because you and Brian do not have a will they won't they relationship. But they know each other, they're friends.

[03:37:05] Back to different acts. I think there's a bit of will they won't they. A little bit at least. After that sniff, are you kidding me right now? Gotta at least talk about it. So earlier when you introed with,

[03:37:17] or coming back from a break when you were like baby booze, it was plural. And you used to say that baby booze was only Caitlyn. That's true and you said baby booze plural. So that is wow. Wow. Wow. I guess, wow. I'm inadvertently showing my cards.

[03:37:31] I'm inadvertently showing my cards. Whoa, whoa boy. My cards. I move my hand there, I take it back. Accidentally. An interview with Alonzo Duraldi, May 3rd, 2024. Deck the hallmark or mystery Friday interview is none other than the, we made his deal, the Alonzo Duraldi.

[03:37:49] Alonzo, how's it going buddy? Yes, thank you for meeting my very strict rider. I really appreciate it. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. We do the best we can. Brand is- Number one being no brand. Yeah, brand is, yes. Yeah, that is part of it.

[03:38:01] That's better than what I was gonna say, which is normally when he's out, I say he hates the thing we're talking about. So brand hates gay people and you heard it here first. This is breaking news. Brand, we couldn't make his deal to interview Alonzo.

[03:38:19] The one was Christopher Walken. Oh my God, you got to do a Q&A with Christopher Walken? Oh yeah. How have I not heard this story? Oh, I don't know how, this is a good one. So he's, you know, he's Christopher Walken.

[03:38:33] And so like all of his answers wind up being kind of short and not just like monosyllabic. And I'm like trying to find some, because the thing is like sometimes, as I'm sure you know this with interviews, sometimes you have to just sort of like keep,

[03:38:45] keep hitting targets and then hope for the one that's gonna open the door, you know? Like one time with Dennis Hopper. Couldn't really get him talking about movies or art, but then I brought up Waterworld, which had not opened yet.

[03:38:58] And he went off on this, how much he loved Hawaii and how good the golf was there. And I'm like, all right, well at least we're talking about something. No kidding. But Walken, I just, I couldn't find it, I couldn't find it.

[03:39:07] So I start taking questions from the audience and somebody goes, what was it like working with De Niro on The Deer Hunter? And his answer was fine. That movie doesn't delve into anything deep. It's a real short, easy watch. What is there to say really?

[03:39:26] It's a wonderful knife, May 6th, 2024. Producer extraordinaire Erin Shea, host of the show this week. You had a chance to say in This is the Deck the Hallmark Podcast and you did nothing. I know, sorry. It's weird trying to produce from this seat and also host. So we're-

[03:39:46] I'm doing the cameras and the sound as you could tell by all of the delays. Yes, we're doing great. We're doing awesome. It's cool to be here. Erin, you're like Barbra Streisand directing herself. You have to have both those hats on at the same time. Welcome to our-

[03:40:00] Don't worry, by the second ad break, I'll get it. Yeah, of course. No, I will too. Oh, I have to use that button this time. Rayan wrote a synopsis because he thought he was going to be here before he decided, yeah, work sucks.

[03:40:10] And so I am going to try my best to read the synopsis and also remember which of these is the synopsis button. I think I know which one it is, but it's going to be fun if I'm wrong. And so let's do that and let's see what happens.

[03:40:26] Which words will you mangle strategically along the way? That's going to be good. I think whatever button you press is going to be the synopsis music that we just choose for this episode. Yeah, this is what we call playing with house money because if I mispronounce a word,

[03:40:38] you know that I'm doing it because I'm acting like Brian. It's, there's no losing here. Welcome back to Deck the Hallmarks. Things are going great. We've had- Brand who? Exactly, yes. We've had no issues. And to be honest, my batting average is what his is.

[03:40:56] Like let's not act like he's perfect. We give Brand a hard time, but he does know how to drive this bus. How dare you? Are you recording the audio? Yeah, yeah, I'm recording the audio. See, there's things you don't even see. Sometimes Brand doesn't do that.

[03:41:09] That's going on. Earthquake underground finally, May 7th, 2024. I told Brand this weekend, I watched Hook with my kids and did you know it was a Christmas movie? I forgot it was a Christmas movie. He was like, yeah, there's some really good Christmas stuff in London,

[03:41:36] and then he said, the pan-verse, there isn't. And I said, we call that Neverland here in the real world. We don't call it the pan-verse. I hope that was floated at least in a meeting. I just want to say, did I goof?

[03:41:50] Did I forget that Neverland was a- Tinker Ell spread, put the dust on us. Now we can fly the pan-verse. We live in a society now where- We just call it Neverland. Yes, we do. And I was wrong. I just want to say,

[03:42:03] I forgot that it was called Neverland and that's on me. I do, like we live in a world where everything is a-verse and every streaming service is a-plus. Bramble Jam Plus, by the way. Should we go with pan-verse? Maybe we should go with the bramble-verse. I don't know.

[03:42:20] Everything is a-verse. Like the meta-verse, the spider-verse. Everything is a-verse. And so I done goofed. Yes, I called it the pan-verse and I'm sorry, but I do think it at least should have been considered. And I think if Pan was created now, that's what they would go with.

[03:42:37] Jay and Barry would have never written Neverland. He would have written- Neverlands either. He would not have written the Netherlands. He would have written pan-verse. Pan-verse. Take me back to the pan-verse. The last one I'll do is,

[03:42:50] is Reese is trying to use his remote to find his car and his car makes a sound that no car has ever made when anyone has pressed a button. The sound is, he's pressing, I don't know what button he's pressing. Is that an emergency? Is it unlock?

[03:43:07] It is a find. It's not a bam, bam to find. It's not a bam, bam. It's, that's all it does. He hits button, car goes, it gives you just enough to not be able to find it. Is it when like, you know, sometimes when you lock the car,

[03:43:23] it makes a little noise? Yeah. It does that. All cars are a little bit different. This car is giving you just enough to be frustrating. Do that. Could you do one more? Nope. I'm going to need a little bit more. If you could maybe two or three,

[03:43:38] and we're done. There's no, it doesn't, it's the worst. It is the worst. You just hit the panic button and let it go, right? That's how you find the car. That's a panic situation. That's a situation where you use the panic button.

[03:43:49] That is a perfect, perfect panic button situation. I'm sorry, Dan, who do we have today? Sandy Day. It sure is. Sandy Day. Ryan, tell us about Sandy Day. What'd you dig up? Yeah, I found some really good info on Sandy Day. You know, Sandy,

[03:44:08] I don't know how many people know this about Sandy. Sandy's- What's fun about her name is you could just call her Sandy. Sandy. You could. I'm sure she loved that. I'm sure she's probably never gotten that throughout her whole life. No, no, not once. So Sandy's got what-

[03:44:23] Sandra Day O'Connor. Maybe she went with Sandy to avoid that. You guys know who Sandra Day O'Connor is? I'm sure both of you do. Yes, actress. Who do you think she is, Brian? Prime Minister? Wow. All right, it's cool. You guys can- So Sandy Day,

[03:44:40] who is obviously more important at this point than Sandra Day O'Connor, something that affects- Everybody's screaming at their radios, which is great. Just under 3% of people, she's got a garlic allergy. A garlic allergy. Which is, and I don't, she doesn't like to talk about it.

[03:44:54] She doesn't mention it to many people because it's kind of a hassle. As somebody who has an allergy myself, it's just kind of a hassle. You don't want to bother people. But what's kind of annoying is the people who don't have allergies and how they don't get it.

[03:45:06] They can't relate to the problem. And so Sandy's decided to, time to take this head on, put these people in their place so they know what it's like to be in a position where you got an allergy situation. So she's opening up a new shop in town,

[03:45:20] her town, called Garlic Knot. And so what we're going to have here is, Garlic Knot is not what you think it is. So you go in, if you're a big garlic fan, bread fan, if you will, you go in there and you think,

[03:45:37] I'm getting some delicious garlic knots. Joke's on you. There's no garlic in these knots. It's a garlic knot. Is it spelled on the door with K-N-O-T or just N-O-T? N-O-T. So you think people are going to go in there when the sign on the outside says Garlic Knot?

[03:45:53] It looks like an old sign. So you think maybe the K fell off. Oh, so she did it on purpose to trick people? That's fast up, man. You gotta trick the people. So her way to fight back against garlic allergies

[03:46:07] is to trick people into eating less flavored bread? Right. In your face, people who don't have an allergy, and thank you very much for not stepping on our toes anymore. People who do have allergies, this is what it's like. Do they serve anything aside from bread? Just bread.

[03:46:23] Just bread. Bread, no garlic at all. You think you're getting a delicious garlic treat? Sandy, thankfully, is leading the charge here to put the non-allergenic people in their place. Ba-dum-ba-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba. Ba-dum-ba-ba-dum-ba-dum. Hi, I'm Sandy Day. You ever thought, I would like food,

[03:46:38] but I don't want it to taste nearly as flavorful? Yeah. Just plain khaki pants food for me. Give me. Come on down to Garlic Knot and try all of our delicious food. Will you find any garlic? No. No way, Jose, you won't,

[03:46:50] but will you find bread without flavor? You bet your sweet bottom dollar you will. Come on down to Garlic Knot. Ba-dum-ba-ba-dum-ba-dum. Yeah, sounds like he got it. That tells it the way that it is. When Calls the Heart season 11, episode five, May 8th, 2024. That's impressive.

[03:47:07] Do you want to know one way in which you can tell this person that you've known for many years and have been crushing on for a long time that two people don't look at each other the way that they do if they're just friends? You just kiss.

[03:47:20] You just do it. And I don't know what we're waiting for. I don't know who's happy with this, because if your team, Nathan, which I don't even really know what that even means anymore, because there are no teams, but if your team, Nathan, and you're watching this episode,

[03:47:36] I guarantee you no one is satisfied with anything other than a kiss at this point. And so to be like, hey, I think we like each other. No freaking dog you like each other. What are you doing? I thought we already knew that.

[03:47:52] I thought this is what we've been doing all season. And so to get to this thing where it's like, hey, I think I might like you. How old are you? Just kiss. Just do the thing. We've been working so hard. I've been putting in the hours, guys.

[03:48:07] I've been watching the show. And I thought finally we were going to get the thing that we all thought we were going to get this episode and no. And so you're right. Blue Balls is exactly right. Not just Nathan, it's all of us.

[03:48:17] All of us at this point feel picked up, aggression and energy because we've all been saying there's a kiss. And we get an episode where they're building up to where there's going to be a kiss. And what do we get? I like you. Oh my gosh.

[03:48:32] What are you doing? Why are we doing this? And not just that, I will just say the idea of these two towns merging is insane. It's ridiculous. But if somehow it puts us out of our misery and the show ends, because hey, everybody,

[03:48:51] we got a new teacher in here. There's no reason to continue this. It will all have been worth it. Because at this point I've reached the end of my rope. I've snapped and all the forward momentum that I felt like we had going into this episode,

[03:49:05] I feel worse than I ever have. I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I mean, I think it's pretty clear that I'm pretty distraught right now. And it's just that I don't like myself like this. I don't like not liking something. I don't like being frustrated.

[03:49:24] And I was so close to being like, I'm so ready to be rooting for Elizabeth and Nathan and to be like, yes, let's do it. I don't know how you can. And I just felt like we were finally gonna get there. And so now I'm just sad.

[03:49:38] I don't like myself. And I don't think anyone else likes me. And so I just wanna say I'm sorry. I love you no matter who you are. Yeah, and I just wanna... Yeah, I kind of love seeing the side of you that's all fired up, Bran.

[03:49:52] I just wanna love things. I love Hallmark movies. I love Hallmark Christmas movies. It's how it all started. It's how it all started. And now we're in May and season 11. We're gonna hit side by side with this, Bran. If you love something so deeply,

[03:50:05] the only way to love something so deeply is to have, that's the light side. And then your shadow is, when it doesn't meet those expectations, then you're frustrated and you couldn't have one without the other. You have a really big shadow. You have a really big shadow.

[03:50:21] I like the shadow. No, no girl, what? How dare you? It's because you have so much light, you have a really big shadow then. Why'd you call me fat? The Diss List, May 9th, 2024. All right, number 10. 1998 classic film directed by Greg Beeman, Disney Channel's Brink.

[03:50:43] What are we doing? What are we doing right now? Oh, oh, oh, oh, boy. Ryan, that is not the assignment. No, no, no. It took one effing spotless list. This is unbelievable. You are out of your mind. I was told these are my favorites. This is crazy.

[03:51:04] I double checked on this before we started. I emphasized the word favorite. If you expected Raging Bull to be at number 10, like you shouldn't have asked me to do this then. I can't believe we didn't say at least in the theater. No, Ryan's right.

[03:51:21] Tell us why you love this sorry excuse for a movie, Ryan. Ryan, you cannot possibly look at me with a straight face and say that this is one of the 10 best. Man, I don't know that the assignment was not 10 best fourth movies.

[03:51:36] But we expect a little bit of decorum. I don't. Just a little bit of like understanding movie. I expect that. That brink isn't even a movie. Brand, brand. Was the assignment 10 best or 10 favorite? Who can really say? And I think regardless, I think favorite and best,

[03:51:54] there's a bit of- I think it's your intelligent and you can do what you want. But from this point forward, we're gonna make it theatrical releases only because this is BS. No! People can- I think that's a bad idea. People should be able to do whatever.

[03:52:05] And if there is a movie that didn't go to theaters, because that would, to that point, does Netflix count? Does Netflix count? Yeah, Netflix does theatrical releases for all their big ones. Okay, but did the Adam Sandler basketball movie go to-

[03:52:19] They show it in one screen one time so it accounts for Academy Awards. Yeah, okay, fine. I will rent out a theater and I'll put Brink in it. Like if this is the game we wanna play- Production studio has to do it, not you.

[03:52:29] I have a production studio. It's called Bramble Jam LLC, mother effa. Nothing but not predictable. 1996 directed by Robert Lieberman. Give me D3, The Mighty Ducks. God almighty. I don't know why we did this. I thought it was a good idea.

[03:52:45] It was, Brandon and I came up with this idea together. We put our heads together. We thought this is the best of our two personalities in one podcast. All right, to peel the curtain back here a little bit, number seven was the last, although it's number seven,

[03:53:02] it was the last to make the list. It was the one I had forgotten about until literally this morning before recording. It's from 1996. As a young child, I thought it was real. It was directed by Joe Pitka and it's called Space Jam. Sorry, Michael Jordan. I don't have...

[03:53:25] Go ahead and explain why this movie is on your list. An amazing blend. First of all, Brent, I'm sure you had a similar experience as a child. An amazing blend of just two of our favorite worlds colliding. Both, for anyone who's unaware,

[03:53:41] Space Jam stars the Looney Tunes playing basketball. Look at you, look at you. How do you sleep at night? How do you sleep at night? You just said the sentence in ranking the top 10 sports movies of all time. You just said, for anyone unfamiliar.

[03:54:10] It stars the Looney Tunes. I don't know how to be your star with a Looney. A lot of people might've started with Michael Jordan. Bill Murray, even. Bill Murray. And not the names of the people that voiced the Looney Tunes. They're real, Bugs is real.

[03:54:24] It stars the Looney Tunes. Could have said Sean Bradley. Really interesting film. You said it stars the Looney Tunes. It's really interesting too because the Looney Tunes, it's a really meta film because they're playing themselves. But yeah, so like, like it's not like Bugs Bunny. Like they're not,

[03:54:58] I thought it was cool as a kid. I still think it's cool now. The sequel sucked. Kevin Smith, May 10th, 2024. The most confusion that I ever got was people just not being able to pronounce my name. No one, no one. You guys got it right.

[03:55:13] Pascal, you must've listened to a person or something because no one ever gets my name right. We did the best we can, KVaun. Thank you for joining us. We appreciate it. Hey Vaun! Kevin! A quick funny story.

[03:55:24] So I go to the coffee shop with my kid one time, my eldest son, and anytime I order a coffee, they're like, what's the name? I always say Kevin. I just say Kevin because it's easier. So he says to me, he's like, dad, why are you saying Kevin?

[03:55:38] Your name is Kavin. It doesn't make sense. Like, why are you embarrassed about your name? I'm like, no, it's not. Okay, excuse me, miss. It's actually Kavin. And she's like, Calvin? I'm like, no, it's Kavin. Heaven? No, haven't. Calvin? No. Gavin? No.

[03:55:56] So I look at my son, I'm like, he goes, okay dad, I get it, I get it. Done, that's all I need. So I got the job and basically what they had told me is sort of what he was and what they wanted to do.

[03:56:08] And I guess it would have been on my, maybe second episode or something. I still didn't, I'll be honest. I didn't quite understand what was happening. I didn't quite get it. So I was just, I remember I was off the side

[03:56:22] and I just had this perplexed look on my face like, what? And Martin Cummins, who plays Gowan, came over to me and said, yeah, he's like, I know, don't ever quit this show. Don't ever quit this show.

[03:56:36] And I was like, not that I was, I'm not in a position, I'm not the kind of actor that quits shows. I don't have that career. So I was like, okay, why? And he's like, because this show's gonna go for a long time. Wow.

[03:56:47] And I was like, really? Based on what? Like, I'm watching this. And he was like, the fans, he goes, there's a group of fans that have caught wind of the show and grabbed hold of the show called The Hardys.

[03:57:01] And I was like, okay, I guess it's a pretty good name considering when it calls the heart. But I didn't know anything about it. And I still, actually still to this day, I can't believe, the only reason the show is still a show is because The Hardys.

[03:57:15] That's it. But they've calmed down a lot, right? They're not nearly as big anymore. They're very chill group. Martin's like, you think this show doesn't make sense? I do Riverdale. And if you could, if I could sit you down and tell you about Riverdale, you'd be like,

[03:57:28] oh, this is, makes perfect sense. I love that Martin Cummins is just spitting sage advice regardless of if he's on set or offset. He's just, you know, we've not talked to him, but he's just fantastic. That's great. And then lastly, this movie does a good job

[03:57:44] of empathizing with people. Aside from the fact that a bus driver decides to stop driving a bus in the middle of this movie. People use mass transit to get from one place to another. This bus driver arrives at the mall and is like, maybe I'll go shopping.

[03:57:59] There are sales. She literally just doesn't do her job. There are people freezing cold in Chicago waiting for a bus. She's not there. That is a problem. I stand by it. The mall pulls you in, Alonzo knows it all too well. Yeah. We've all been there.

[03:58:16] Alonzo's not driving a bus. He wasn't on his trash route picking up trash. You go, well, I'm gonna stop today. Yeah, I gotta stop today. Wasn't performing a public service. No, no, he was not. I've never done. Hey, don't sell yourself short. Hollywood pride out tomorrow.

[03:58:33] And I think that's a pretty good public service. A whitewater man, I gotta be honest. I, we've been doing this for a long time. Never a good sign. I think we've done enough. I think we've done enough for like to giving back to the world and the community.

[03:58:48] And I think it's best if we call it quits. Okay. Okay. See you guys. Every once in a while, every once in a while, we're gonna have a whitewater romance. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

[03:59:01] I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Every once in a while, you know, we get months like this where Hallmark's like, we forgot about May. Guys, we forgot there was a month in between April and June.

[03:59:16] We filled April to the gills. June is jam packed. We forgot about May. Sometimes Brian is alone in the studio and I do think he deleted some files. You can't prove that. I'm Brian. Is there a third shovel in the house? And we're the Three Brians.

[03:59:36] And three shovels. Ba-da-bum-bum-bum. This fall on ABC, watch as Three Brians cover their tracks with three shovels. What they do? Only one way to find out. They'll never catch me. Or me. Or me. Three Brians. Three shovels.