Best of Year 8 - Part 4

[00:00:03] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast. Well, hi there! I'm Bran and I love Best Of Episodes. Hi there, I'm Dan and I also love Best Of Episodes and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast! Deck The Hallmark gets this podcast. And friends host this podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast.

[00:00:35] Well, hello everybody! What a fun time this has been, Dan, revisiting some of our favorite moments from the past year. Which happened to be our eighth. Really flew by, Bramble. It really did. Thanks entirely to the Double Deckers who helped make this possible. You say entirely, you did a lot of work putting these together. Well, actually a ghosted it this year. You ghosted it. I showed up one day and they were all done. I thought you said I ghosted it. You said a ghost did it. A ghost did it. Wow! Shout out to the ghost. What's his name?

[00:01:05] Ranald. Ranald? Ranald the Ghost. Yes. You really came through in the clutch for us, buddy. You sure did. Shout out. But this is it. The rest of the moments, all these are coming from 2026. It's a big boy. It's a big boy. This is the longest one of all of them, but it just feels the rightest way to do it. So I don't know if you're into this, Dan, but I am. I say we get started. Yeah. And I think Ranald would appreciate that. He's kind of waiting on us. He's weird. Kind of tapping his toes. I didn't even ghost had toes. He's a toe tapper. Toe tapper.

[00:01:35] I'll get us started this week, Bran. Ranking every Hallmark movie, 2025 Christmas edition, January 2nd, 2026. We can't. We can't. Melt My Heart should be at the bottom. Not for the... What? I have Melt My Heart as the lowest. Oh, no. You guys are the ones that had Christmas come. I said that. Oh, no. Specifically. I can be talked into a fish bump. I can be talked into a fish bump. It was so bad, guys. Guys. It was so bad. The glass blowing movie.

[00:02:03] They had to move trees out of the way to get the fire trucks out of the fire station. Walter Gregson's Seal of the Season. We got it. We got it. Glass blowing movie where they skipped the sexy glass blowing scene. It's a terrible movie. The North Pole was in the fire station. I mean, Bran, you make the call. They shut down a house party and a Christmas cup. A Christmas party. But they did it with the fish on screen. You know what I mean? Right. The fish was there. The poor fish.

[00:02:32] Let's just keep it as is. All right. They have to learn. You can't do this. You can't do this. You can't do this. Keep throwing the slob out of here. You can't just keep putting the fish in bad movies and expect us to continue to give it a pass. Because she's wonderful. That penguin movie, a bump. I know. Fish bump. I'm putting my foot down. This is the time. It's clearly a line. Let's give the fish great movies. Please. She's a delight. So there's this fish. There's this fish. Her name's Rhiannon, actually. And she's wonderful. She's in the worst movie of the year, though.

[00:03:02] The champagne problems, January 5th, 2026. Also, I got to ask you, New Year's resolution, what you got? I don't believe in them. I think the worst. Why would you make January even worse? Yeah. Yeah. Like Christmas is over and there's that pivot where the ads all used to be about sour cream and now they're all about joining a gym. Yeah. No. Why add to that burden by like forcing you to deprive something? Just save that crap for Lent. Okay.

[00:03:34] That's right. June resolution. Yeah. All right. Let's try to let's see what happens next. Uh, Jack's resolution. What you got? So my good friend, Kaylee Scott, shout out to her. She said that she doesn't even think about resolutions until the spring equinox because that's when her year starts. Um, my only real resolution is I got one of those vibrating plates and I like standing on it every day, sitting on it and I like vibrating.

[00:03:58] And so this isn't, this isn't, this isn't the thing they were selling at Christmas. Colin, do you know what I'm talking about? No, actually no. There were these machines that shook and people would stand right here. Yeah. Sitting on it. That's where when you sit on it, that's when I, I can do it. Are you willing to show showcase to people? Oh my God. So basically I can put it on right now. January 5th already, huh? Yeah.

[00:04:27] I have it on right now. What does it do, Jack's? What's the, what do you mean you have it all? Health benefit or other. I'm taking my legs right now. I have to, hold on. Let me. Try standing up. Okay. Can you see that I'm shaking? No. No. I'll take your word for it. You look so stationary. You look like you're doing shrieves. Can you hold a wine glass maybe? Oh yeah, but wait, hold on. I do. I have a, hold on. I have a, hold on. Okay. That'll be good. That's such a drastic part.

[00:04:56] Your living room also has, it looks still as it could be. Now you're just going like this. I guess I'm just really, I swear to you. What are the benefits of this? Lymphatic draining. Lymphatic draining. I saw that live. Okay. Well. Man. That show was so crazy. I agree with all my limbs. You don't want to sit in the first three rows though. Yeah, I know. So what do you, what do you do? You do like what? 10 minutes, 10 minutes draining each day. I do like 10 to 20 minutes a day.

[00:05:26] There's also these little, you know, bands that you can do. Do you ever feel like, dude, my lymphatics don't need draining today. They're good to go. They're dry as a bone. There's nothing there. I'm also doing oil pulling with my teeth. I don't know what that is. So I'm just trying to get everything out of my body. What is that? What is that? You're doing what? Oil pulling? This is a mad lib now. You just mad libbed health? Oil pulling with my teeth? You mad, you mad libbed health. Did you join a, did you join a homeschool co-op? What are you talking about?

[00:05:56] For my new year's resolutions, I'm going to put essential oils in my earlobes. What are you doing right now? What's oil pulling with your teeth? So basically oil pulling is a way to, it's a natural way just to like pull toxins out of your mouth. It promotes like fresh breath, but also just like, like being healthier. Like it's getting rid of toxins. And that's different than brushing your teeth. Oh, you have to brush your teeth.

[00:06:23] You have to floss before then do the oil pulling, then brush your teeth. You can tongue scrape anywhere in there. I love a four step dental hygiene process. Are you kidding? I do the four steps like usually. You've seen Dan and I smile, right? Like you know what I'm doing. Four steps. That's right. We live in South Carolina. I have a sneaky suspicion that Alonzo is no stranger to a four step dental routine.

[00:06:53] I mean, okay. Only because I have two different kinds of floss. Okay. Because I have, I have a, I have a bridge. I have a bridge. You have to go under it. It's a thing. Okay. And then really quick with the draining. What was it? The lymphatic draining. David Lynch's TV adaptation of lymphatic draining was unbelievable. Um, at least the wind started it. Incredible. With a hypothetical. Like, let's just say, I don't know what that is.

[00:07:23] Um, how would I know if I need it, need a drained? If you feel, if you have to ask, if you feel, um, puffy or bloated, or if you feel like you have brain fog or you're just tired. Um, it really just, I'm living, what are you talking about? So for example, out of Alex, run out of boxes to check. If you woke up this morning, you might have to keep saying stuff.

[00:07:50] If Brandon's going to realize he has it, I promise you. You might need a lymphatic drink. If you. So what you're saying is all I got to do is shake for 10 minutes a day and I'm not going to be tired anymore. Here's the thing. And this is true. Alex has always had, not always the past few years back pain. If he goes to the gym, he doesn't have it, but that takes time. So when he does the vibrating plate, he wakes up with no back pain. All I have to do is a vibrating plate. I will say I do have some back pain.

[00:08:21] You guys lower or lower. Oh, which doctors lower. This is ridiculous. Lower back. How are your backs doing down the lawn though? My back is great. I feel wonderful. My back is yeah. Weirdly. Okay. But like, don't make me pick up anything off the floor before 10 30. I do. I do. I walk about eight miles a week and then I do about two more hours of cardio. So I, I feel like that's my lymphatic drink.

[00:08:49] I feel like it. Okay. So send me, can you send me the link to the, to the shake plate? I absolutely will. Oh, my sister does call it a shaker plate. Good. Okay. Today. Cool. Oh, her sister makes her promise that while in France, she's going to take one night off for herself. And she pinky promises, Dan. Pinky promise. Thank you.

[00:09:19] Can't break a pinky promise. Can't do it. Um, and at that point in time, I didn't realize how important the pinky promise is going to be to the overall movie. Really? So just more on the inside that more on more on pinkies to come. That's right. The goal was for it to look like you'd seen it a million times. So we did it. Bravo. Uh, you, are you so proud of yourself that Alonzo wanted to add? Yes.

[00:09:49] And it is the height of my career. Alonzo's like, Brand said something constructive and interesting there. I'm going to jump in here if I don't mind. If you don't mind. It does happen. I have to be honest, Brand's reaction to it has been the highlight of my year. It was so awesome. He's just like, yeah, yeah. Alonzo is going to piggy piggyback. You try to like keep it in. You try to like be cool about it. Even on my best, it would be like that Brand's a film critic.

[00:10:20] But if you squint at that five seconds, you might, you might see. Dan, what'd you think? Hi, we are back. And, and, and, and, and, uh, if you don't mind, if you don't mind. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said. We're talking about champagne problems. And I got some champagne problems. Guys, I drink a lot of champagne before doing this. Jack's give up three years of sobriety for this episode. It's crazy. We're just between proud lifts. Uh, let's get lost in paradise.

[00:10:50] January 6th, 2026. I know we have things to do. No, Dan, can you please tell the story of us in the car with the driver who you, Dan is so great. He always asked the drivers for like recommendations. Oh, this guy's from Jersey. I think enough time has passed. I want to be very clear. I don't always bother the driver, but if the driver is a talker, I'm with two people who are not going to engage. No, it is like, that's all they want. You're welcome.

[00:11:19] All they want in their life is to talk to someone. And I know it. If they're not a talker, I'll shut up. But when they're, when I can tell this guy, all he wanted to do is talk. And these two jokers wouldn't, they wouldn't. It got quiet a few times. I'm like, ah, this is nice. And then he starts it on something else. Well, the best celebrity I did security for. And then the, and then on the way back, he's talking about how he's Trenton, New Jersey, born and raised. Like that's who this guy is.

[00:11:47] So on the way back, uh, double decker Vanessa is bringing us sandwiches from this, uh, New Jersey deli that cheesesteak is still the best. It's the best sandwich I've ever had in my life. No way around. Vanessa. Great. Yeah. You, after I see you the video, you followed great fault. Right. Um, this, I, I, this guy, New Jersey born and raised. I'm like, Hey, what's the best sandwich in New Jersey?

[00:12:08] And he doesn't miss a beat and says Jersey Mike's doesn't even, he doesn't even like, he's just like, well, I mean, Jersey Mike's there's a reason that they're everywhere. Like the consistency is legendary. And I'm just like, uh, uh, uh, and meanwhile, I know so many people from New Jersey and everyone. When I told that story to, they all wanted to murder. They wanted to actually murder him. They couldn't believe it. This is why me and brand on engage in these guys. You imagine being in Dallas and be like, where's the best barbecue?

[00:12:37] And somebody's like Texas roadhouse. You go to ribs, Texas roadhouse. You get it. That happened. I mean, Kansas. I just love anytime. Anytime. I know that like Dan is fighting for his life. Like he's like, his soul has left his body and he's just fighting. He does it. Like, cause he's saying, you know, Dan's so nice. He's not going to be like, well, that's the dumbest. No, no, no, no. Cause Dan loves food. He wants to encourage. I love food so much. And he's really, really wants to know. Give me a place.

[00:13:07] Yeah. Anything else? What's number two on your list? Yeah. Is there any other place? Some way. Blimpy. Big blimpy guy. Big blimp head. Oh man. You got this grocery store. Oh dude. We're starting off the year with a strong movie and with Dan. Dan. New York City me. Right where he's supposed to be. I'm not trying to make it harder on me than I need to. No. I like to hire percent. Yeah. That was super high. Yeah. No.

[00:13:37] I like to hire percent. So as I was watching this, one thing I was thinking is what could make, I mean, being stranded could be pretty terrible, but what could make it pretty even worse? A wet dog smell. Holy cow. That dog, it was pouring. They're in this tiny little makeshift tent with wet dog smell. Wet dog. Brutal. You got to dry that dog off. Uh, smells like up dog in here. What's up dog. Got him. Uh, good stuff.

[00:14:06] Get some up dog on your shoe. Yeah. Uh, does that magic magnifying glass do anything else besides light fires immediately? What a magnifying glass. I couldn't believe it. What a time to be alive. I couldn't believe it. Oh, so great. It was cloudy. How many, how many ants did she burn as a kid? Oh, she's a psycho. She's an ant burner. Diana was doing this this summer with the boys out front, like holding magnifying glass and you'd get some smoke after a while on these leaves, but like it was bright, hot sun. It took a long time. It takes a lot of work.

[00:14:36] It was just like, make it like do something, make a time lapse or something. Cause it was just immediate. Yeah. Um, and I mean, not to keep bringing up survivors, but, uh, I feel like we're gonna. So like sometimes some old people have glasses. How do you use your glasses with the glasses and it rarely works? Like it's hard. It's a lot harder. You need sun. You need a lot of sun. Very bright without him noticing. Yeah. She starts that fire. He looked away for a second. He's like, what the, like, how did the fire get going? She put it like a lighter right under it.

[00:15:06] It wasn't looking. Yeah. Yeah. That was just great. Uh, when calls the heart season 13, episode one, January 7th, 2026. Yes. I don't really, I don't know. Let's dive into this. Uh, hope Valley, hope Valley, 1874. Let's dive into this. Oh no. Yeah. If you were listening, if you were a double decker, bramblejamplus.com, you know, we've already talked about this, but also you're watching this episode live right after the premiere

[00:15:35] of when season 13 live Sunday night. If you can believe it. So hope Valley, 1874 is coming out in March, which is exciting, I guess. Uh, because that means no, but what it means is Jack's, we slide right on it. You're on the beat. You're on the beat. Uh, and it's, yeah, it's a, it's a, a, a stacked cast BJL, uh, Ben Ayers, uh, I believe

[00:16:02] Chelsea Hobbs, Chelsea Hop, the Chelsea Hobbs, man. Chelsea Hobbs. Wow. And, uh, I, I don't know. I don't really know what to expect from it. All I know is that it's going to be on a Hallmark plus, which is shocking. And it's also supposed to be cold Valley. Guys, let's get in. You're going to do that. I know guys, that is weird, right? Let's get into it. We've seen the show. It wasn't called Hope Valley then. So it is confusing. My guess is that it's, the name's going to be Hope Valley of the show, but they're still

[00:16:31] going to call it cold Valley to the, much to the chagrin of all of us. They're going to make us all mad just by, they're going to say cold Valley the whole time. And the show's just going to be called Hope Valley. Eighth comment. Will there be an explanation as to why it's not called cold Valley, given that Hope Valley wasn't his original name? Nobody cares more about those details than the folks who are fans of the show that does nothing every week. There you go. That's what they live for. There's the details of this show that does nothing. I get that though. I get it.

[00:16:59] When you're passionate about something, you really want all the details. Like you, like, I don't want to bring up all the death, but a lot of, there's a reason they changed the name. The miners weren't, it wasn't great for the miners. It wasn't good. They all died. The miners died. So maybe let's not constantly be reminded of the coal. That's right. Right? I know that's true. Yeah. Could be. There's no way that they don't call it cold Valley, right?

[00:17:28] They, they have, they can't, they have, they can't retcon that. Yeah, they can. They shouldn't. Hallmark's everywhere whitewashing history. Whitewash. Did I use it right? I'm pretty sure that coal Valley was in fact, they kind of reverse. I, I'm pretty sure coal Valley has always been all white, but when we watch, when calls the heart, it's just a cornucopia of races in a way that we all wish. Well, thank God. I mean, it wasn't for the first, what? Seven and a half. Eight years.

[00:17:57] Um, Lucas calls her with bad news. The inspector. You're just going to skip right over skeet. You're not going to talk about skeet in the synopsis. I'm not. The most important part of this television program. I'm not going to talk about it. You're not going to mention that little man. I'm not going to talk about the little man. No, I'm not. With the beard and the hat and the weird voice. No. You're not going to mention it. I'm not going to mention it. Uh, Lucas calls her with bad news. The inspector.

[00:18:28] Nothing happens in the show. There's a weird dude that shows up named skeet and he's like, you can't get a deep bit to my web. Steve. In my defense. I didn't know who was going to come in clutch. Dan. We never see him again. Skeet. But he's very important to the episode. You're not wrong. There is a man named Skeet who's very important in this episode, but at this specific point time, I didn't know that.

[00:18:56] But if you saw skeet and heard skeet, he should have made the cut. Sorry. National treasure for skeet. So. Calls the hearts season 13 premiere up in the air. Uh, also a movie. Also the, the original title was skeets big adventure. And a lot of them skeet got cut. And I think that that was a mistake. It was a mistake. They had skeet. Skeet. In the, they had him in the pocket. He was there.

[00:19:25] All five, two of them. Little wiry gentlemen with the, with the beard. Yeah. He had big eyebrows. Yep. He was ready. We know him. We love him. What in the world? All right. All right. It's time for us to share our thoughts. Let it shine, man. The skeet's on your show. Yeah. Uh, let's share our thoughts on this episode. I'll start with you. Jax, hot take it. We're a tier one insulin clinic. Yeah. Let's waste these, all of the stuff right here in Oak Valley.

[00:19:59] I'm excited. Honestly, it's the future. Like, okay. So look, it's the future is quite a sentence. What? What are we cheering for? That there are tier one diabetes. Tier one insulin clinic. Oh gosh. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. No, I think Jax is going to argue that that's a real reason to cheer. Which is hysterical. I heard Liam Linklister. Honestly, that's on me. And I was like, who's that? That's on me.

[00:20:26] My grad school acting teacher always said I was all vowels, no content. So that's on me, brand. That's not a used name. All vowels call your, you know what I mean? That's what we call them. They like to call me. No vowels. I love the attitude, Jax. And I'm with you, bud. Because here's the thing. You better be. This show doesn't matter. And neither does life. So let's, let's just, hey, bright guy.

[00:20:56] Hi bright guy. Wait, this show has made you annihilist? Yes. Yes. Life is meaningless. And you know what? In the meaninglessness of it all. It's a fun episode of One Calls the Heart. And so it's good to be back in Hope Valley. You have lost your mind. And I can't wait to go back to Hope Valley, 1874. You're talking nonsense. Coal Valley. We're back, baby. We're back, baby. Let's go.

[00:21:24] If you believe brand just now, you just have never listened to this show. I, I can we start there and help the most people we can. This is the first one. And we got a whole episode about how it's a romantic gesture. Cause Nathan called Skeet to bring in the Cessna. What are we doing? This was terrible television. The show can't win with you. You get, you get, you get Skeet. Skeet saves the day.

[00:21:52] Skeet's your national treasure. You're mad that he saved the day. I'm mad that we got one Skeet scene. You're mad that he saved the day. No, I wanted more Skeet. Didn't get nearly enough Skeet. Skeet's a hero. Go ahead. Skeet's a die in the head. Honestly, Dan, I know I've been, I'm a unit. And oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm really earnest. Everything I was saying, but what was incredible was that I, I was talking and I looked at you guys and not just respectfully or for a bit, brand was yawning.

[00:22:22] I had the biggest yawn of all time. Biggest yawn of all time. And Dan was like scrolling, which was fine, but like probably looking at your notes. No, I was 100% looking at my notes. I didn't have a feels and I was trying to figure out. I was trying to dig deep and find the fields, but branded yawn. Brand was full big yawn. It's nighttime guys. We don't record at night anymore. Okay. It was an amazing, it was an amazing comedic take, but what was so funny is like, it was, it was huge, but it also wasn't performative. And I was like, Oh, that's the worst. That's the worst. I was like, he feels it.

[00:22:52] But I will say that. No, no, no, he meant it. He was just really full big going. He meant it. He meant it. Thank you. He knew. Yep. So anyway, that's my big feel. Um, Dan, have you heard of my boy Skeet? Uh, my boy Skeet shows up. Does he live in that house with them? I think so. I think that might be Brooke Shields, his husband. I'm not positive. He rolls in like he owns the place though. I know he is. He is.

[00:23:22] I think it's Brooke Shields. Brother or, or uncle. So he seemed like a crazy. He is, it's giving weird billionaire old prospector vibes. He is wily. He's rascally. He's, he's Skeet. His name is Skeet. And we got one solitary scene with Skeet. Never to be heard from again. I'm positive. We're never going to, we're never going to see him again. Shout out Skeet Ulrich. Skeet Ulrich. Yes. What a friend.

[00:23:53] He was in Riverdale and he was great. Yeah. Uh, Christmas mailbag, 2025, January 8th, 2026. Julie says Brandon, Daniel. Yep. Shout out. Julie gets my name. I don't know if y'all ever found Abba Zabba, but I saw these at the comedy store. I think though it's candy. It's not. I wouldn't be surprised though. I love it. At the candy store. At the night time too.

[00:24:23] He held out. At the company. He confirmed it in his head. Comedy store. That's what it was. It's definitely comedy. And got it for y'all to try. Let the group know how it was. Julie. Julie, we're going to go live this Wednesday. Julie did a type five on candy. You hear about this one? You hear about this candy? I don't need it from you. Thank you, Julie. I'm very excited to try this. Thanks, Julie. I'm very excited to try this. ...heel scene while yelling at our TVs. Are you okay? Comedy store.

[00:24:51] Your sacrifice does not go unnoticed. No, this is my knife. See you, sucker. Iron clad, unfortunately. It's a regent. It's a regent. But up here it does say, dear Dan Bran. So I don't... This is my knife and I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Don, this is exciting. It's murky there. On the record, I also like Cutco. I'm going to use this knife way more than Bran would. Tell you that right now. Brother, you don't know my life. Oh, I'm going to use it more than Bran.

[00:25:21] Brother, you don't know my life. I promise I would use it more than Bran. That's what I promise. How often do you use your current Cutco knife? The Cutco one that I... I have a Cutco pair of shears that I use at least three times a day. The knife that we got. The knife that we got, not big enough to do what this does. I understand. How often do you use it though? That one? Not super often. Probably three, four times a week. Interesting. How many days are in a week again? This knife, I will use so many times. So, so many times. I'm so excited. It's not a real number. So many. It's not even a number. All right.

[00:25:51] Bran's eyes only. This before. At the comedy store. You can feed this and then destroy. Comedy store. Here is an idol. Use it wisely. I know I've told you this before. The candy store. The comedy store. I know I've told you this before. Okay. All right. Here we go. Lights, sound... I can already tell. Is there a knife in there somewhere? There was not a cutco knife, which you would think in all of her spare time, according

[00:26:21] to her this summer, she could have sent me at least a knife. Honestly though. Man. Honestly. Not bad. Wow. All right. From Ronaldo. He's watching right now? Yes. Oh, cool. From... Dude, he just said in the chat, he wrote it in cursive. I'm so excited for you to read this, Bran. Love this. Rinaldo, please take everything personally you're about to eat. Yeah. Remember when Rinaldo joined us? That was from Marathon. We got to talk to him.

[00:26:51] It is the highlight of my year getting to talk to Rinaldo. It's been so fun having him. Get your letter reading voice. It isn't cursive. Oh, can't it? It's small. It's very small. Bring it home, Bran. Woo. Good luck. You get what you get. You don't pitch your fit. You know what I mean? Hi guys. Get your reading glasses. I hope this note and gift finds you in good health and a festive spirit. It does. It does. Thank you.

[00:27:21] He's just guessing. I also hope you guys can read my handwriting. I'm writing this while waiting in the lobby of the adult academy. Comedy store? I teach at... I teach at... Okay. Um... Something at the Christmas tree. Oh, looking at the Christmas tree. Got it. Cool. Looking at the Christmas tree. I reached... I reached my brain...

[00:27:53] Yeah. Oh, I... What is it? Ratched my brain. Ratched my brain. Ratcheted my brain? I ratcheted my brain. Yep. I racked my brain. I racked my brain. I racked my brain. Reracked. Okay, but... Still quicker to ship... I don't know. That's what I'm saying. No problem.

[00:28:23] Ship your pants. You can ship your pants. Because we're way over here. I got it. It's all I'm saying. It's a long trip. Regardless. Gosh. Um... Where was I? Initially... You reached your brain. Initially, I thought some... Uh... Novelty Korea snacks. That would be nice. That would be fun. But like with all...

[00:28:52] Brother. Uh... You need me to tap in here? But with all... Gifts, food... Yeah. Go ahead and try. This is where I'm at. Uh... With all... He could just from anywhere. Probably is fine. Oh, that is hard to... See? See? Yep. No, no, no. But with all... It's gone before we know it. So I landed on giving you guys something more lasting.

[00:29:21] And are artisan. Mm-hmm. I've had several of these lights made for people over the years that mean a lot to me. I hope that it brings a smile to your faces when it's lit the same way I smile when Dan hates a preview episode. When Brian finds the silver lining in the cloud.

[00:29:52] That's nice. Or when Bran makes up movies higher than Hallmark... Something up movies higher than Hallmark ones. Oh, ranks up movies higher. Oh, ranks up TV movies higher than Hallmark ones. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, your friend in Korea, Rinaldo. Okay. Oh, man. So we have... He has a postscript. He is. I threw in some orphans.

[00:30:23] Drop some orphans on our... I threw in some... Something anyways. Okay. Snack maybe. Oh, my gosh. I can see this. This is gonna be awesome. I gotta plug right over here, Brandon. Okay. Thank you all for... Does Brian always pause in weird spots when he reads? Or is it just after 11 o'clock? I think it's late. Okay. All right. Cool. I think it's gonna be in the guys. Thank you for all the... Comedy stores. ...winter laughs. All of the...

[00:30:54] ...antlers and laughs over... I don't know what that says. Countless. Countless. Countless. Countless. I got it. You guys did. Over the years and... Winter or winter. Winter's laughs. Those are the best laughs. Brendan Penny, January 9th, 2026. Oh, boy. It finally happened there. You know, we are... Congratulations. We are pretty... Like, we're pretty low. We'll do about anything for a bit. But for us to make Marcus Rosner get in Brendan Penny cosplay and do a fake Brendan Penny interview is...

[00:31:24] Yeah, hold on. Hey, Marcus. Hey, Brendan Penny. There it is. There it is. Dude, that's really good. It's also a little George Bush, too. Yeah. You got a little... It was a little W. A lot of... That was a really good Marcus, actually. We had... Marcus could play a really jacked George Bush one. Yeah. Yeah, he yoked George Bush. Just absolutely yoked. ...on the line, not only on our show, but also for Brendan's first podcast.

[00:31:53] This is Brendan's first podcast of any kind. And he's about to find out why he... Why he doesn't do it. That's right. But Brendan, welcome to the show. We're so happy to have you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Absolutely. Another thing that's going to make the viewers happy on YouTube, Brendan, is you're wearing glasses. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, Brendan, but you... I learned this through watching you in the movies. You got three to five times hotter when you started wearing glasses in your movies. Did you know about that? Did you know about that? No, I don't. I didn't know that.

[00:32:21] Literally, there are people we've seen in comments go, Brendan Penny was always fine, but he put on glasses and now I'm like, can't look away from Brendan Penny. Was that a strategic move by you? I think the more apparatus you can put on my face, the better I'm looking at you, Tom. You know, more naked. Oh, this guy. Interesting. So you don't think that it makes you hotter. You think that it just separates the viewer. That's correct. You and I are naturally hot. Brendan has to put glasses on in order for it to be just palatable for people is what he's saying.

[00:32:50] That makes sense. Brendan, we always like to start at the... Wait, are you a Survivor fan? I would give up my entire career for one shot at going on the other. We have a Survivor podcast. We have a Survivor. I am a co-host of a Survivor podcast. I'm down on it. He coached. How excited are you for season four? How excited are you? Dude, Brendan said he's going to be on your show. So I would... I will be on your show 100%. That is... We can do it.

[00:33:19] We can change your background. We will roll right into it. That's fantastic, man. So... An actual real life podcast and you made it through. How do you feel? I feel great. I feel actually a little sad and embarrassed that I was a certain way. And then as soon as we started talking about Survivor, I kind of elevated. I think I should have brought some of that. I've entered into the first bit. Dude, I gotta be honest with you.

[00:33:49] There's nothing... You guys are a Survivor? Why did you say that years ago? I don't know. There's nothing that I would rather do less than talk about myself for an hour. All I'm dying for is somebody to ask me about Survivor. So the fact that you did it, thank you. It was very kind of... The other side that we're re-watching, but I haven't seen it because there's a gap where I didn't see it, but this season 26 where Brandon, he says returning where he just, he flips out on, um, on Phillip. Yes. Remember that? And it jumps the rice.

[00:34:19] Dude. That was where we last night and I'm like, yeah. How great is it? How great is Phillip? I love it. I love how excited this guy gets about the Survivor. That's fantastic. Phillip in his pink underwear is the best. Looney too. The specialist. The best. He's a specialist. Okay. I need to go on your podcast because I need to talk to you about so much Survivor stuff. I don't, I'll, I'll send you, I'll send you the show. I think you'll really like it. Cause we're just like, we're just being dumb talking about Survivor. So that's right. You can do it. Don't introduce him as like an act.

[00:34:49] Just be like, this is my boy, Brendan. This is Brendan. Like he doesn't even, nobody has to know that you're on. You know what? No one, no one will know. So don't worry. It's fine. I love that. All right. The Baltimore on January 12th, 2026. That my friends was the Baltimore on. We did it. Is there a the there or is it just, I think it's the, the, okay. I was right. Okay. I did. I thought I was wrong.

[00:35:18] As soon as I went in hard with the, I was like, no, no, no, no. I just, I just goofed it. You goofed it. I goofed it. It's fine. It's fine. All right. We're going to take a break. I didn't want to be the Grampy that adds the. Yeah. I'm going down to the Walmart, the double dunker. The double dunker. Is that out yet? There's an ice cream flavor that I refuse to just call double dunker. It's the double dunker. And I, I stand by it. It makes me old. It makes me old. I'm fine. I'll be one of those all state commercials. Yes. All right.

[00:35:44] Let's and I, I do get a kick out of the fact that his excuse, basically, when his fiance comes is an excuse. I don't think anybody has ever given to anybody ever, which is I was having an amazing day with my dentist. That's the excuse. That's right. Never in the history of mankind has somebody been like, Hey, sorry. I was MIA today. It's just, well, what a time I had with my dentist.

[00:36:13] It just got, one thing led to another. I didn't want it to end. Yeah. We just had such a great time. I was broing out with my dentist. It was just too much fun. I had too much fun with my dentist. On Christmas. And he seemed surprised that that, that, that didn't land. He thought like, I don't know. Why are you having such a, like, I was having a good time with my dentist. Like, do you don't get it? What else do I have to tell you? You haven't been there? You haven't finished up like a crown and just be like, you want to keep this party going? All the time. All the time. All the time.

[00:36:43] A Melbourne match. November, January 13th, 2026. I'm thinking about bailing on the Dolphins becoming a Panthers fan. Wow. My kids want to be a Panthers fans and the Dolphins suck. If you are a Dolphins fan listening out there, or you know one, tell them to email me to talk me off the ledge. Cause I'm about ready. I'm about ready. It's time. It's all. I think it's about time. Do you think you're really going to be able to do it? I've never been able to successfully. Have you ever successfully shed a fandom? Ever. No.

[00:37:11] What are you going to do about that dolphin tattoo you got on your lower back? That's tough. It's lower back, so we'll just get it. I'll make it a, like, like a ring of dolphins. Yeah. You do love dolphins. I just love the animal. Yeah. The animals, you do love dolphin animals. Now it does say 17 or 1972. I don't know what to do about that. Yeah. In particular. No one will ask. I can make it a bunch of ones and zeros. No one will ask. I guess. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Make it like a number, and then it's like, that's how many dolphins I've seen. Email Dan about the lower back tattoo and talk about the ledge.

[00:37:42] Tell me why I should stick with the dolphins. Because listen, if you're a dolphin fan, maybe it's me. I mean, I was born in 1983. Last year, the Super Bowl was 1984. You literally could make a case that it's me. What are you going to do if you say, if I'm shedding my fandom, I'm all in on Panther Nation, keep pounding. That's their thing. Oh, it is? That's tough. Don't love that. They get some people come out, like Cam Newton came out and banged a drum and everybody goes, keep pounding. And I'm like, I just, I don't know. But what will you do?

[00:38:11] You, you, I'm all in on Panther Kingdom, keep pounding. Panther Kingdom. Uh, and the dolphins go to the Super Bowl. Oh man. You've talked me out of changing fandoms. Here's what I'll say. The dolphins don't say keep pounding. I'll say this right now, and this is not football talk, but this is as close as we're getting. If the dolphins hire John Harbaugh, I'm out. Wow. That's all in all done. That is the push off the ledge that I need. If they hire John Harbaugh, I'm going to become a Panthers fan. I'll go all in. It'd be fun to cheer for someone with my kids. We can all. Dolphins make playoffs. Yeah.

[00:38:42] They haven't want to play off. You know this. They haven't, you know the story. I know it. You can still kind of root for them in the back of your heart if you need to. In the back of my heart. Back there in the nethers of my heart. That's right. Keep pounding. I don't know if you, your heart that is. Yeah. Heart's going to keep pounding. Keep pounding. That's right. Yeah. Um, when, at the beginning of this movie, they are establishing the heck out of the fact that, uh, Georgie girl does not have a well-balanced diet.

[00:39:10] Uh, she just kind of like snacks. And when she gets to her sister's house, she goes straight to the, uh, the, the nut cabinet, which is right above the sink with nothing else in it. Heck yeah. She opens it up. Only nuts. That's it. If you don't keep your nuts in its own cabinets. Right. Keep one. Yeah. Right above the sink. Nothing else there. You know, it's like sometimes people, sometimes people that are like trying to like eat healthy

[00:39:40] You know, we'll like put. Put more wall here. We'll, we'll put like a, uh, one of their like cheat snacks. We don't need two bays in that garage. Do we? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I'm talking about. Whatever you're ready for. I'm sorry. That's stupid. Keep pounding. Keep pounding. Uh, and then they go out there speaking of big white gestures.

[00:40:08] And I thought I was 100% confident that a kangaroo was going to wave at us. This kangaroo goes, Oh, this was a great bit. Like this. And then it's just like here. Dude. And he, he's staring right at the camera and he went like this. I thought for sure. That kangaroo is going to wave. They trained a kangaroo to wave at the camera. Everybody was thinking that right. Yeah. Everybody, everyone.

[00:40:37] That seems going on. You're like, Oh my gosh, they got kangaroo to wave at the camera. Kangaroo is that itchy ear. Yeah. Classic. Itchy ear. At one point she talks about how she's like married to her work. And she says, I run the 24 hour out. I run the 24 hour column. So my life is pretty hectic. We don't know what that is. I don't. We looked it up. We tried. We tried. That's not a thing.

[00:41:05] Can a real journalist tell me what the 24 hour column. I would assume it's a column that gets a new column every day. Well, it's her, her main thing. Her main beat, if you will, was 24 hours in XYZ city. So like 24 hours in New Orleans. Oh, so she just calls it. That's right. She's saying. She's implying. Yeah. She's doing it. Like that is, listen, ma'am, that's an offense to everyone that works. Mm-hmm.

[00:41:31] The idea that because you get to travel and write that your whole life is consumed by that. Like, and that's your excuse is like, everybody's working. Yeah. Like we're all like. We're all doing that. Not me. Don't get me wrong. Like I, not me. I'm not talking about me, but like people who are journalists that also managed to like. Find something outside of that, that, that like a relationship, like they're all doing it. Do the deep dive and you make sure that you've, you know, tell their story.

[00:42:01] Uh, who do we have today, Dan? This week we have Nick Ferguson, Nick Ferguson. Yeah. Ferg. Yeah. Nick, a bit of a world traveler themselves. They're been around and they've seen a lot of stuff in other countries that we don't, there's something in particular. We don't really have. That hasn't really kind of blossomed here in America that they want to bring to kind of make bigger and more popular. And that is bidets. Okay. So one thing that they're thinking is what's more American, uh, than a Mr. Potato Head,

[00:42:31] nothing almost. And so what they're trying to do here is kind of like use, like kind of, you know, go off with the idea of a Mr. Potato Head and, um, Mr. Bidet head. Mr. Bidet head? Is the product that they're pushing here. Yeah. It's a bidet, a standard bidet with just some tweaks. One of the tweaks. Just like, are you going to add eyes to it? Like interchangeable parts. Like you could put your fake eyes or fake ears.

[00:43:00] I want to get, listen, we're at, we're a PG show. This is all very fun. This is just fun. Like let's get used to the bidet being around. Are you used to dressing up something before you sit on it? Mr. Bidet head. I mean, they go both ways. You can take the bidet parts and put it on your Mr. Potato Head if you want. Squirt some water out. It's really, uh. Oh, really? This is like in conjunction with Mr. Potato Head. They're working on like a partnership here. Um, it's not fully flushed out if you will. Oh, so like you can.

[00:43:30] Really good. So you can take Mr. Potato Head's eyes. Yeah. You started that joke and worked backwards. I know you did. Okay. That's the job. So you can make Mr. Potato Head's eyes like become like the flusher and then put the flusher on Mr. Potato Head. Right. Yeah. You do all this different stuff. Or lips. Or ears. Feet. I'm not. I'm not. I don't want lips on my bidet. I have no more to say about the Mr. Bidet head. The Mr. Bidet head is, and it's gonna be what I'm hearing early. Yeah. That's just in.

[00:44:00] This year's Elmo. Market research. There's no way it's this year's Elmo. Could be. It's early. No. No. It could be. No. Mr. Bidet head. Elmo's not pleased by this. No. You shouldn't be Elmo. Elmo does not like bidets. Yeah. What about Elmo says no sir? Really? I'm surprised. You know, you, you, I mean your fur Elmo is pretty. I thought that Elmo would be into this. It probably saturates all that fur. What does? The water from the bidet. Right. Mr. Elmo head. Elmo doesn't like it.

[00:44:30] Okay. No. That's okay. You shouldn't. It seems like a. It makes me uncomfortable. I think it may. It's making everyone listening uncomfortable if they haven't turned off by now. Elmo's, Elmo's learned a lot on Sesame Street. One thing I've learned is that it's okay to say no. It is. That's right. That's true. And this is a good product to say no to. This week's letter is P. For keep pounding? No. For urine. Because of the bidet. Bidet won't help you there. Mr. Bidet will not help you there. It will not help you there. And poop.

[00:44:58] Well, that's kind of the idea. Elmo thinks it works both ways. Yeah. Elmo sounds like Elmo's on board. Keep pounding. Elmo, will you, if we have season tickets, will you go with us? Elmo will be there every week. Elmo should pay for the season tickets. I think we're in on that. Elmo has even. Elmo's got out of it. Hey, Dan. Yes. We lost our funding. Sesame Street lost funding. Yes. Thanks for reminding me. I can't afford it. But you personally may bank, Elmo.

[00:45:27] I don't get any of it. You don't make any money? No. What? Elmo's manager sucks. Fired up last year. Elmo's in on Mr. Bidet head, I think. Yeah, apparently. He shouldn't be. Nobody should. Elmo out. Wind Calls the Heart, season 13, episode 2, January 14th, 2026. And then you guys, it really, it really irked me when Rosemary, and I adore her, called Little Jack LJ. I don't want this to keep happening. LJ?

[00:45:57] LJ. I don't get it. I don't get it. Call him Jack. Call him Little Jack. Please don't call him LJ. I don't know why. It just makes me feel so weird. Yeah. I'm not a fan of any of the Jacks. You're reading my mind. Oh, my goodness. I'm so glad that you get that, Little Jack. I don't like it. I don't like the LJ, Little Jack. I don't like the LJ. Are you fine if we transition away from Baby Jack to Little Jack to keep- I'm all right with that. I got it. Okay, thank you. I mean, we found out you were, you know, you could rent a car. Yes. How old are you? 28? 36? My 30s. You're in your 30s. Yeah. That was upsetting.

[00:46:27] I get it. I get it. I know because of your contract, you're not allowed to say that you're smoking a cigarette right now, but I can see it. Yeah. So, what's that like to have to hide that? Well, it's not just a cigarette, Dan-o. Not the only thing up in smoke, if you know what I mean. You got it, buddy. You got it. Cool. God bless. Yeah, great. Is this going to get cut too? No. I noticed I got cut last week. You got cut last week. I noticed I got cut last week. You didn't make the final edit, which is crazy. All right. Yeah. But you're going to- I think you're going to make it.

[00:46:56] The fact that you smoke and also do drugs is necessary part of the lore of- 100%. Little Jack. LJ, if you will. There's a scene in this episode where Elizabeth brings Nathan a sandwich. And I just want to break down what happens in this- This is the wildest scene of all time. We couldn't get over it. Thanks, Dan. We couldn't get over it. Okay.

[00:47:22] So, Minnie made a lot of sandwiches because people from Benson Hills are coming in. She put them in a parchment paper, which- Readily available. Readily available. Ready to go. Pre-cut squares of parchment as you classic 1920s. Ready to go. I just learned about those because I'm a baker now here in 2026. Okay, there you go. Pretty. Over a hundred years ago, pre-made the pre-cut. She could have cut them. We don't know. We don't know. We weren't in the days of the- Those lines were pretty sharp.

[00:47:48] Anyway, so he walks in, hands Nathan the sandwich, to which he opens up with the parchment paper and does what any normal person would do in that moment, which is to use the parchment paper as your plate. That's right. I'm going to eat over the parchment paper. And he's so hungry. Yes. He talks about how hungry he is. He's been out fighting fires. He devours a bite of that sandwich, like full on- He takes a bite of the sandwich. Yes.

[00:48:16] Elizabeth says, no way. Takes the sandwich from him with parchment paper, throws the parchment paper onto the clean dishes. That's right. Takes a plate, puts the sandwich on the plate, and then cuts it in half. What are we doing? This man's hungry. But, but, then he falls asleep. And then he falls asleep. He's starving. What's the point? The parchment, you had a perfectly fine plate thing there.

[00:48:45] And clearly he was fine with it not being cut in half. He just wants to eat the sandwich. This is two pieces. Unless it's a hoagie. If you've taken a, if you've taken a bite of bread, a flatbread flatbread sandwich, if you've taken one bite, you can't cut that thing in half. That's against all the laws of nature. You can't do it. It's like going to like a, this is to me, like, okay, I'm going to go to a sub place. I'm going to bring my sub home. I'm going to unwrap it from its wrapping. And I'm going to put it on a plate.

[00:49:14] Like, if you have the wrapping there that already has crumbs on it, what good, you're just wasting, you're wasting a dish at that point. You're dirtying dishes. You're cutting it for no reason. You already have a bite taken out of it. The fact that he's, I can see the sub on it. I put a sub on a plate. If I get a sub from Publix, I'll come home and get a plate up. Really? Yes. But tell me why. Because I've got oil and vinegar in that sub and that paper's not going to hold it. It's going to leak right through it. It's not going to hold it. My sub is messy.

[00:49:44] And so I put it on a plate. But my problem was, he took, he takes a bite of a sandwich. He's starving. He does. She doesn't take it out of his hand. He goes and sits on his, at his desk, puts the sandwich down, is clearly going to eat it all. She then removes the sandwich from his possession, unwraps it, cuts it, and then re-presents it to him. That was the part that I was like, why are we doing this scene? Why? I think, I think, here's the thing.

[00:50:12] While I completely agree with the two of you, as a single mom for years, and she's had, this woman's had no therapy. She over-functions and she's controlling. Yeah. Fair. So she needs, she does these things. So she's an over-functioner. Now, I have empathy for her. But it is weird. Weird. But that's the motivation. I would rather just wipe up the oil and vinegar after. That's crazy. Because I don't want to dirty a plate. If I don't have to dirty a plate, I'm not going to dirty a plate.

[00:50:40] I don't use, and it should come as no surprise to you, we don't even have paper plates in our house. Well, I don't either. We use, but everything we use plates. If I don't have to use a plate, I'm not going to use a plate. Oh, yeah. But, Brian, okay. So I think I'm in between you guys. If I had just a sloppy sub like that, and I'm getting hungry for one, I would open up the parchment or open up the paper, put like a paper towel underneath it so it soaks it up, and then put it all in the trash when I'm done. Yeah. So I'm not dirty either.

[00:51:09] Yeah, so I just, in my opinion, I would much rather, the cleanup is easier for me with a dish than without a dish. If I am, especially when I get a cold sub. Huh. As soon as oil and vinegar is involved, that sub is a sub worth anything. Like we went to Wawa, got an Italian sub, you're going to have peppers and oil and vinegar everywhere, right? So like for me, like having a plate makes that far easier. Interesting. Yeah. It just is so easy to just go trash, plate, dishwasher, done.

[00:51:38] Yeah, but then I have to go and get a plate. That's also part of it. No, if you're, I will say this, if you're not going to an extra step, she did two extra steps. Yeah. What James is saying is she goes and gets a towel, like a paper towel. I do get a paper towel because I like the feeling of eating that sub out of the parchment. Yeah. I don't want to feel like I'm trying to do that. Oh, listen, we had the Wawa subs without plates. We did just fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I'm at home, I'm grabbing a plate. Oh. You know what?

[00:52:07] I have a motto I like to live my life by. What? What's the motto? And that motto is, this is no time for magic. Uh-uh. And I understand. That you live your life by. That's my whole life. And I understand that sometimes that might be a bit harsh. And I might be wrong. And there is an occasional time. You are. That is for magic. Can I tell you what's not a time for magic?

[00:52:32] When you're the governor of a Canadian province experiencing a national tragedy, we forget. We forget. And, Jax, you know that I know that you were charmed. You know that I'm right here. Lucas spends a lot of time in Hope Valley. And we have just decided, even though I've tried otherwise, to just let go the fact that the governor of this massive Canadian province is spending his time in a town of 80 people.

[00:52:56] And he's governing from there, which in the year of our Lord, 2026, that would be something that people would anger people. But in 1922, that's impossible. But that's what he's doing. We've just decided, you know what? He's governing from here. This is a work from home gig. This is a wildfire. This is a wildfire. It is an actual, he can do something about this. He can go to the aptly named capital city and he can get, he can use the, what government is for?

[00:53:25] Using the power and the resources and the money of the national government to help facilitate a quicker recovery and the end of this wildfire. What is he doing? What's there behind your ear? Did you guys see that? Where'd the, where'd the kerchief go? Oh, it's on the floor. He's the governor of a Canadian province. What's great is. Do your job.

[00:53:54] What's great is that Rosemary make sure that we remember it too. It's not like he's going to do magic and we're in the hope that we forget. Rosemary sets him up as the governor. This is, listen, I am here for entertaining the children in a time of need and crisis. Lucas Bouchard, this is no time for magic. This is no time for magic. You are, it is your job to be calm, make decisions and send help as quickly as you can. As possible.

[00:54:24] Be a decisive leader of action. Now's the time. Not, Oh, I dropped it on the floor. Some might argue. Maybe I should wave not a habit. I would argue that he's doing what, what a lot of us politicians do. Yeah. Do photo ops and like, look at me being cutesy, but he is so cute. I don't want to draw any attention to an actual national tragedies. We've had leaders on camera in our country do the wrong thing. Yeah. This is an opportunity.

[00:54:53] As soon as the fires appear to be uncontained, he should be on the next train to capital city to say, open up the budget, open it up. Whatever money we have, whatever money we don't have. This is more important than money. Send people, send anything that can, that can carry water, send builders and carpenters, hire people to recreate infrastructure infrastructure. Do your gosh darn job. What are you doing?

[00:55:23] You can't. There's nothing more important than magic. This is no time for magic. Said what I said. Would you, would you have been okay? Okay. Let me just. If Kevin Smith says the mayor is doing magic, I'm fine. No. Okay. So wait, the mayor can do magic. Yes. There's always a time for magic. It's just who's doing the magic. Yeah. I think that there's rarely a time for magic. I mean, don't get me wrong. I still trick my kids. I learned card tricks when I was a kid and I still can get my kids and they are wowed by it. And I teach them and that's fun. Okay.

[00:55:53] And I would still say, this is no time for magic. I love magic. I often, I, I, I, I love, I often watch the Penn and Teller show Fool Us. I think it's great. I love it. Big fan. I love it. Do they fool you usually? Every time they fool me. Me too. I don't know how to do magic. That's why I love it. But I love seeing if they can fool. It's not magic. It's an illusion. It's not real magic. No one thinks that Dan. We don't know that. Oh, right. No one thinks that Dan. At the same time.

[00:56:22] We don't know that. I hate when Bran makes me look naive. Sorry. Oh no. No worries, buddy. Oh, it's okay. Yeah. At least he's a governor. Stoot toot. And then Gilmore the Marrier season one, episode one, January 15th, 2026. Episode of the Gilmore girls. That's right. And not committed so much as locked in the house and can't leave. That's right. They hit my keys. We hit them. And your rider is crazy. Yes. Loose leaf, Japanese tea only. It's wild. 600 thread count. That's right.

[00:56:52] 600 thread is a minimum. And it has to be at least 80 degrees in there. That's right. And it was, you guys nailed it. Yeah. And you counted every thread. It was weird. You got a magnifying glass out and counted it. But we're here. We're ready, Bran. The eclectic, unique dreamers the town is made up of. I love it. I've lived in many small towns. I currently live in a small coastal town. You bump into people like this and it is so fun. Yeah. Because you're like, I'm not in a boring little suburban town. Dan, you grew up in a small town? I was born in a small town. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I'll die in one. Really? Yeah.

[00:57:24] Aren't you going to start saying that? No, no, no. Just write it down. Okay. Just make sure you have the date mark. Okay. Well, again, how do you make sure? I've got nothing against a big town, Bran. But how do you make sure? We always do this. I don't have anything against a big town. Like that's totally fine if that's, but I, I'll die in a small town. I don't know how you can guarantee that. I can. You don't live in one now. Have you ever lived in, what's the biggest town you've ever lived in? Greenville, South Carolina. No, St. Louis, Missouri. I live in St. Louis, Missouri. For a short time. Right. Imagine if you died there. Right? Yeah. But I did. You had to change the song. Oracle was right. Yeah. Okay.

[00:57:54] Go get your acoustic. I feel like we've got a song here about a small town. Okay. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll get to the way what and the written in the stars hollow here on Gilmore. The barrier. La, la, la, la, la. Love that. Love that. Can you, are we muted at this point? Nope. No. La, la, la, la. We're back. We're back. We're not muted, Chad. Never. Never. Just assume we're never muted. That's what I was saying last night. That's the same thing. Accuse. Karen Reed.

[00:58:23] January 16th, 2026. We found Mr. Christmas. We found Mr. Christmas. We found Mr. Christmas. One to ten on this year's crop of lifetime Christmas movies. One being the worst crop ever. Ten being the best. What was it? What was the best lifetime one? No. Not even close. Rank the whole crop. Just as a whole. As a whole. Oh, rank them all? The group of God. What a rank. Is there a carbon monoxide leak?

[00:58:55] Patrick, take all the movies from lifetime. All the Christmas movies as a whole. Those movies. Those movies. If the best group of lifetime. If the best year. 2018. Let's say it was the best year. If that was a 10. And 2023 was a one. The best year versus the worst year. What was it? On a scale of one to 10. Okay. So yeah. Rank all the movies. As one big movie. Yes.

[00:59:24] I would say this year was a five. Okay. Right. Okay. Now. Right. Not great. I was watching this movie. If you were to watch one lifetime Christmas movie from last year, which one should we watch? From last year, the Jennifer Love Hewitt one for sure. Okay. Okay. She did another one. Oh, no. I meant you shouldn't watch any from this year. I don't even know it. Patrick, are you here with us today? Are you here? We're here to talk Karen Reed.

[00:59:54] Oh, I'm from the past. Okay. Got you. We have a recording. We have AI, Patrick. From June of 2025. That's right. That was a good one. Have you guys seen that guy on YouTube who does the AI videos where he's talking to the AI and he's like, spell strawberry. And it's like, strawberry has two R's in it. And the guy's like, no, it has three. I failed my spelling bee. Yeah. It's funny. It's funny. So good. Okay. We're talking about Karen Reed today.

[01:00:23] Accused. Yeah. You know, it seems like, and he's drinking and she's clearly drinking. Who's driving there. They're drinking lots. And I, and I just want to say, you know, like, of course she's going to be driving. Drunk driving, but is that a crime? I mean, come on. Come on. Yeah. It's like, it's a real crime, right? Yeah. That's a crime. Oh my God. You ever doubled up a double shot of vodka in that vodka soda, Patrick? You know, I probably have in my life.

[01:00:53] Let's try it next weekend at the deck. Double vodka soda. I used to drink vodka waters. That wasn't fun. That was a terrible. Vodka water. Just water. You're hydrating. You're yeah. You're hydrating while you're drinking vodka. I thought it was genius at the time. Is the deal with vodkas. Is the deal with vodkas. You thought it was genius at the time. That's like me being like, that's like, well, beer is only 5% alcohol by volume. It's really all water. Uh, but is the thing with vodka soda? It just doesn't have many calories in it.

[01:01:23] Is that why it's ordered? Exactly. So you can, it's like the lowest calorie drink. I think you don't want to drink your calories. That's the whole bit there. I'm literally just putting this together now. I'm not trying to like that. That's why a lot of, uh, you know, I would say females and gay people drink vodka vodka soda. Vodka soda. Vodka soda is gay water. I mean, gay water. Got it. I'm learning so much. Gay water.

[01:01:50] So if I went up to a bar and said, I'll have one gay water, they would know at a gay bar. Sure. Okay. Got it. Good, good, good. Yeah. You have to specify. I'd like a bottle of water, please. Yes. Otherwise you're getting a vodka soda. Don't ask for water. Yeah. Um, okay. So yes, Karen does. She's, she's talking to her dad and she's like realizing, and I'm gonna try to do my Boston accent here.

[01:02:16] And she says, uh, let them, if I did something wrong, I'm a, I'm a pay my dues. It's wicked hot up in here. There you go. That wasn't anywhere near a Boston accent. It was hysterical. And then you trying to say the word wicked made it even better. Yes. I, so what's interesting, like, yes, she does say that.

[01:02:45] I would like for Patrick to do the rest of the episode in that accent. I'm not, accents aren't my thing. You know. Actists. Go. Man slaughter or murder. Okay. Murder. Is guilty of drunk driving. Which. Yeah. Right. Time served. Which we've learned is a crime. What? Yeah, I know. You can't just do that. We learned that. Get out of here. No, you cannot do that.

[01:03:10] Patrick, can you just, just a piece of mind, help the people at home know that you're doing a bit. Yes. It's just a bit. It's just a bit. Patrick would never. I always get an Uber and I don't even really drink anymore. But, but when I did, I would, I would take an Uber. What I think was especially worrisome is that we know how you drive. We know you're driving sober. Sober. Yeah. Right. So you can't add, you can't add substances to that. No.

[01:03:37] Like I'm already, I'm already like, uh, what is it called? Uh, incapacitated from my skills. Yeah, sure. That's right. We'll go with that. Yeah. Um, and yeah, so she's Iron Man, January 19th, 2026. Oh boy. There's no turning back. There's nothing that we are more qualified for. The Christmas bros talking marble. You know what I mean? Yeah. The good stuff.

[01:04:05] Did I, did I ruin? There is definitely listeners out there who are like, boy, before this Popola guy came on, they stuck strictly to made for TV, Christmas movies. No, I think that this has been good because we get to see the parallels between these big blockbuster movies and a Hallmark movie. Okay. That's right. I just, yeah, of course. There's parallels to be, to be made. I do love.

[01:04:35] We actually did find a lot with Fast and Furious. That's what I'm saying. We did. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And Marvel, I mean, this is, it is, it's part of the cultural zeitgeist. It's how we all grew up going to Marvel movies. We all grew up going. What's scary is there's definitely like 14 year olds listening to this that are like, yeah. Yeah. But also, I mean, doomsday is coming out. We're back, baby. Doomsday is coming out in December. Isn't there another one before? Is there another Marvel before? Spider-Man brand new day. Brand new day is coming out.

[01:05:04] So brand new Zen day. Day. So, I mean, like, we're going to finish this like the first weekend of October before doomsday comes out. We'll hit Christmas hard in the end Christmas season. The Marvel, the Christmas boys will be back for a Marvel. And that Marvel is Avengers doomsday. And it's pretty perfect. It's perfect. It is, you know, and you know, Marvel has gotten to the point where it's just almost like a ho hum thing. The new Marvel isn't a big, but we all remember. We all remember when the new Marvel was coming out.

[01:05:32] The whole, like the, you just would block your whole weekend. Like it was a big deal. I think we'll be back there by December. I have a good feeling. I think us doing this is going to make it less ho hum come December. And I will say I have thoughts we'll get to later about how this is maybe going to change my opinion of some Marvels. Yeah. Doing this. You know what I love here? The Marvels?

[01:05:56] That we're doing this not only because it's called Marvel Mondays and it works, but most of, mainly the reason why we're doing it is because it was called Marvel Monday and it works. So, I'm excited to dive in here on the first of the Marvel Mondays with Iron Man. Fast Fridays. It just kind of works. You get it. Mighty Mondays. Mighty Mondays. That one was a bit of a stretch. A bit of a stretch. Mission Mondays. I totally forgot about Mission Impossible.

[01:06:23] We've covered a lot of theatrical releases on this here podcast. I legitimately forgot. All of which have parallels to Hallmark. Yeah. Okay. With that said, this movie feels totally in line with the MCU that comes later and it's by far the best superhero origin story of all time. Wow. Now, I will say, hot take then. I will say.

[01:06:50] Batman begins sitting over here just laughing at you. Well, here's the advantage that Iron Man has over specifically Batman and Spider-Man. Those origin stories have been done to death. We have seen Bruce Wayne's parents die and Uncle Ben pass away tragically multiple times. And we like it. We love it. We love it.

[01:07:14] The fact that we're supposed to be surprised or anyone is supposed to be surprised that this guy is secretly warmongering. Right. Is not passing the sniff test at all in my opinion. Well, because it's like. It's a good job of the sniff test, right? I appreciate that. Well, way to commit. Ryan, you want to go full on me real quick? Yeah, go ahead. Stop passing the sniff test, if you know what I mean. It's good. It's good. Really good. It's good. Didn't pass. Didn't pass. You get it. I got to be honest, it's kind of a nerve.

[01:07:44] It's a big fail. Yeah, it's a big fail in the sniff test. Love on the Amazon, January 20th, 2026. The DDB. We went out, we did our thing. We went to a cabin. We went away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we like hiked into the woods. Big white board. Like how do you guys, like what did you guys think about the awards? How can we do it better next year? And the biggest thing we walked away with all, the biggest font that you can imagine, Tyler Hines No Wars. You circled that thing a hundred times. Yeah. Yeah. So. It's a hashtag. It was trending. It's not, I don't think it is anymore, but. It's not.

[01:08:14] Yeah. It was. Whatever. I will never think about this movie after it probably in the ranking, maybe. Oh, yeah. I got to be honest with you. I got to be honest with you. I won't remember it then either. I'm probably going to forget about this movie in about 25 minutes if I had to guess. Dano. Thank you. I hate it. This is what we call in the biz an all timer gang. This is all time bad.

[01:08:42] Listen, the Amazon's beautiful. I think we get a lot of interior boat in the script and a lot of interior jungle in the script that lends me. I mean, to believe that maybe the budget was restrict a touch here. Um, these two leads I'm sure fine in other things. Jason. I know JC Elliott is romance and styles. Why? I know well, two movies that I think she's lovely in this movie. I'm not sure if they are ever on screen together.

[01:09:10] They like they are on screen together, but I'm not sure they know it. It's like the movie is absolutely pointless. There are so many better ways to get your sister this information than what you decided to do. So many. There are so many problems with the entire premise of the letter. Uh, it's crazy town. Like, so I'm already out. I'm already out. And then when we get there, the lack of a like real Amazon, I felt like was pretty bad.

[01:09:39] And then lastly, the chemistry was not good. Nor did I really was I really pulling for them to be together. This is kind of a nightmare of a movie. And also it doesn't help that. I'm sure these two leads are capable, but the supporting cast. Oh boy. Uh, guys, it's just, uh, it's better to forgive and forget than to have never had at all. And when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I hated this movie. I'm out. Please don't ever make me watch it again. Whatever's next week's going to be better. It can't get any worse than that.

[01:10:09] I mean, it's racially cook at Luke McFarlane. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. It's a skip. Should've used my skip. I think Luke McFarlane's a spy if memory serves. Oh, come on. It's already better. That's terrible. I've had a lot of like incoherent hot takes, but I think you though you what you did there at the end, that was, you're giving me a run for the money. I liked it. It was good. But you know, Dan, you know, it's Dan's in a tough spot when he just at the end is just there's, these are all things.

[01:10:38] I've all, I've mixed all the metaphors together to let you know how much I hated this. I didn't like it. Um, vice principals taking all that shit in this movie. Uh, yeah. Oh yeah. Like, so early on in the movie, she's like, I'm a vice principal. I like if I'm gone for two weeks, who cares? She's vice principal. Then at the end of the movie, like, she's basically like I'm vice principal. And like, no one wants to do that. And so they're not going to miss me. Uh, it's not what I want to do in life.

[01:11:08] Like this sucks. This whole thing sucks. Uh, she hates being a vice principal and vice principals. And in general, my understanding, uh, from this movie is that they're the worst. Yeah. So, uh, poor vice principal. I mean, keep doing what you're doing, but no one cares and you can be gone for two weeks at a time. No one would miss you. Then when calls the heart season 13, episode three, January 21st, 2026. It's great to be here. Um, we are cruising through when calls the heart presents deck.

[01:11:37] The hallmark presents when calls the heart is what we got today. Does everyone know about nobody knows about should we talk about Pita? I would love to talk about Pita. Yes. So last, was it last week? It was last week. So last week we discussed your KFC commercial, which you were wonderful in. Oh, you crushed it. And, uh, and now it's aimed at us. Well, we get an email. We got an email from Pita guys. You think nobody listened to this show? Pita emailed us straight up.

[01:12:05] I thought it was a, I thought it was a bit. I also thought it was a bit turns out real Pita. Yeah. Yeah. Real Pita. Pita emailed us and not only were they very kind. It just, the subject line was from Pita read chickens. That's right. Which I like, I like that. That does feel like it. Pita has offered to send us vegan wings to try. Right. And we're going to try to do that, right? Yes. We're going to try to try to eat the vegan wings and give an honest assessment of those wings.

[01:12:35] Uh, then they also, obviously because they're Pita did go into some detail on the why you shouldn't eat chickens and that's fine. And I think that got to Jack's more than it got to me, but Jack's, you can take it away from me. I just, this is the final paragraph of, of, uh, the email. Jack's, can we count on you not to promote eating chickens again? So I do want to allow you to respond. You know, what's great about this is this is a microcosm of what every working actor has to deal with on everything,

[01:13:04] which is I want to work. Someone wants to hire me and the folks behind who want to hire me may not be reputable in some form or fashion. And every actor, Are you bad mouthing the Colonel? Every, I would never. Are you trying to say the Colonel's not on the up and up? 13 original spices. I don't, listen. You couldn't find those spices. I'm not saying it's KFC. Maybe there's another meaning here.

[01:13:28] What I'm saying is, is that every actor has to have some sort of plumb line that works for them. And for some of them, it is a job's a job. I go on set. I do the thing and I leave. I don't ask about anything outside of my periphery of my lines. I had to eat the dad gum chicken tender and I ate it. I'm an actor, you know, like actors all the time portray characters. They wouldn't want to be in real life. So like Jax is playing a character. She's wouldn't actually want to be, but she lived in that character and that's fine. But actors often make that call.

[01:13:58] So Jax can Pete account on you to not promote chickens anymore. So Pete, I have a question. I, yeah, I won't ever do it again. Can we, we're going to continue. I'm going to need to like that commercial is out there. Yeah. Like that's me promoting it, but Pete, I'm, I'm, I am done. You're done. You've retired from chicken. Okay.

[01:14:28] Well, let me ask you this for me. Yes. For me. Um, I just am mad. And somebody in the chat, Bramble Jim plus mentioned this, that like Pete, I heard this and not any of the chicken of the week episodes. Like where were you, Pete? Uh, when we were spotlighting a chicken, that's living a wonderful, like none of those chickens and chickens of the week. We're being, yes. Our friend at PETA, if you could go back and binge listen to the chicken. Chicken sisters. I think you're going to hear different.

[01:14:54] Just go to the last, go to the last 10 minutes of all those episodes and you'll hear the chicken. Because before that there's a lot of fried chicken talk. You're going to want to skip. Yes. That's not the show for you, Pete. No, I don't think you'll enjoy that show. No, no, no, no. I wonder if they emailed the Hallmark. Yeah. A fun little nugget in there. And then of course, the scene with May and what's her Futs, Mikey's sister, the mayor. What's her what? What's her what? What's her name? What's her Futs? Futs?

[01:15:24] I've never heard what's her Futs. Wait, what is it? What is it? What's her face? Oh, what's your face? A Futs seems nicer. What's her face sounds aggressive. What's her Futs? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go straight to the best of clip for this. Whoever's doing this. What's her Futs? I've not heard that. Did I coin that? Maybe there's somebody, maybe this is a classic word. I thought you did a curse. I thought it was like, yeah, I thought you broke up. I thought it was a profane. Yeah. Wait, oh my gosh, I'm sorry. No, I meant Futs.

[01:15:53] I thought what's her Futs was a thing. What's her Futs? No, I'm just not familiar with it. Please, someone in the chat tell me what's her Futs is the thing. What's her, what's her name? The scene between, oh, oh, uh, Rena, Rena Seltsman says, she says, what's her Futs? So we're wrong. We're wrong. We're, it must be a theater thing. We're dumb country bumpkins from the South. No, it's a theater thing. We don't know. We don't understand. You big city gals with your. What's her Futs? With your, what's her Futs? With your, what's your Futs? It's a new segment. It's a new segment we're trying out. What's her Futs? Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

[01:16:22] Just as good as chicken is weak. We were going to do a best child actor for TV for the decades. And then we got nominees and of the five nominees, one was an actual child. And it was baby Jack. And it was baby Jack. And so we just canceled the category. Not to not give him an award. We just felt like, hold on a second. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

[01:16:49] we didn't, we didn't cancel not to give you an award baby Jack. That's what you got. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got to at least acknowledge that's what it sounds like. No, we canceled because we wanted it to be five child actors. Yeah. And two of the actors were like 25 or higher. Put my name down five times. Put your name down. 100%. You were by your own admission in your thirties. Yes. Okay. So what are you talking about? You got to at least acknowledge that I look the most like a kid. Sure. Yeah. But that's not what this is about.

[01:17:18] We decided it was a weird category to have when. Cowards. Okay. Call me whatever you want to call me. Cowards. You know what? In one of the, there's the nominations or what's your futz. The nominations are, are right in. And a lot of people did write you in, but one person wrote in, please God, not baby Jack. Okay. Who was that? I don't know. It's anonymous. That's the thing about the, the deck. Nothing's truly anonymous. Yes. Well, I mean, I didn't. I'll get your IP address. I'll track you down. I'll come to your house. I'll put a cigarette out in your bed. I'll light it on fire.

[01:17:48] Did you start the fire in the park? No. What a twist that would be. Wouldn't that be crazy, man? That would be awesome. That'd be awesome. No, they didn't let me do that. They didn't let you do that. No, I hate that. Thanks baby Jack. Not LJ. Not LJ. Not LJ. Not Little Jack. Sorry. Little Jack. Sorry. I'll get into it. I'll get into it.

[01:18:25] We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Did you just nail it up there or you tack it up? Put it in a little shadow box. Yeah, of course. Eventually it'll start to... Yeah, but I'm thinking again, like a flavor-flavestyle necklace. So like a gold-plated ear. Put the ear on it. Hold on, wear it next time. This is a real ear, right? It's a real ear. As far as I know, it's sent to me. I don't know. I'm going to come to Bramble Fest and I'll be wearing it. That's how you'll know who I am. Yeah, that's the only way.

[01:18:55] You'll be able to distinguish me. Chad will be the one wearing the dazzled ear. Can you imagine getting ready to go on a first date and somebody says, you'll know me. I'm the one that's wearing the dazzled ear. Exactly. There might not be a second date. You might be still going on that date. Maybe you're dating Dan Gull. I'm just supposed to look for the guy with the ear necklace. That's all. That's all he knows. I will say most people get an ear in the mail and they might just discard it or take it to the police or whatever. They send it to the right guy. I'm getting it pierced soon. We're going to Claire's. It's like his own pet rock. It's crazy.

[01:19:25] We're going to Claire's. I do love the idea of showing up to Claire's. You can't spring for a real piercing? You're going to Claire's? I don't know the ear that well. I love going to Claire's and being like, I'm ready to get my ear pierced. You hold on. An external ear. How much for one ear? Right. Oh, which one? Left or right? Detached from the body. How much? That's got to be a discount, right? Could I have done this at home? Uh-huh. Yeah. And then they give you the price. Dislist best ears to pierce? No, no. It's got to be a discount. Oh, I was like, what is that? Dislist ear piercing. How about when the price comes out high? I go, wait, I can't hear you.

[01:19:55] Can you lower it a little higher, buddy? I see what you did. Honestly, at first I was concerned, but this is actually, I think, going to be really helpful for you. Lots of play that you can get with this ear. I think it's a new bit. That's right. Maybe we can even have Elmo talk to, talk the ear during an episode. I love when Elmo comes out. We don't need Elmo. Elmo loves Chad. There he is. You brought it. You say him three times. He shows up. Elmo loves Chad. Elmo's a big fan. Elmo's a big fan of Chad? Yeah. Why have you never said that about me, Elmo? I don't understand. Because I was tickling Elmo last night.

[01:20:25] Well, that's a different. We had a wonderful night. What? Elmo whispered into the ear. But not my ear. The ear I was wearing. The external. I had it off at the time. So you just don't like me, Elmo, or is this personal? Elmo does not like you. Yes, sir. It is personal. It is. Why? Because every time Elmo comes on, you go, oh, God, here comes Elmo. Thank you, Chad. But I didn't do that the first time. Elmo wants you to take it to the tape. You want me to take it to the tape? Yeah.

[01:20:54] I just think this isn't fair. Elmo, what are you pushing these days? What's the toy that we need to be purchasing, aside from you, obviously? The Bop-It. The Bop-It. Elmo's a big fan of Bop-It. I hate that thing. Man. Are you Baby Jack now? No, Elmo. Elmo loves Bop-It. Elmo loves Mr. Tato-Head. Mr. Tato-Head. Mr. Tato-Head has ears as well that are removable. Elmo knows. It's all coming together. Elmo knows. Elmo's out. Elmo. Thanks, Elmo. The Chad is loving this.

[01:21:23] They're claiming it's your best impression. Always. I didn't know his impression. I thought it was Elmo. What are you talking about? Right. Best impression. So I got to, one, being on the golf course with Rory and her grandfather. It made me think about me going on the golf course with me and my buddy Dan. It's not something that we get to do very often, but I will go. Back in the day when we weren't busy, we would try to make it happen. I'll go and I'll make a giant divot and they'll be like, it's okay. And I'll be like, was that right?

[01:21:52] And like, it's very similar. Very similar. Very similar. I show you how to grip the club. It's all. Yeah. It's hot, admittedly. Like, it is a sexy scene out there between the two of us. And the steam room after. And the steam room after. Yeah, the courses we go to definitely have steam rooms. Definitely have steam rooms. They have courses without steam rooms? Yeah, it's gross. But it did make. It's like going to a hotel without a top hat. Yeah, you said the bellhops just running around. A good callback from last week. Oh, yeah. That was a long time ago to really pull that back out. I had time to clean my clothing and put it back on. Yeah, good. I, yeah.

[01:22:22] So that made me want to go golfing with you, Dan. Maybe we can. We got to get that on the calendar. Chad loves golf. He can come with us. Let's do it. I'll play. I have to. If you pay for my daughter to go to Chilton, I'll play golf with you guys. Okay. Once a week. Every Friday night. Every Friday. Under the lights at three. Every Friday when the waves are great. You got to go play golf instead. There's no price. Yeah. The limit does not exist. That's right. But I did love her first day. She's in a classroom and the guy is doing the lecture

[01:22:49] and he ends his lecture perfectly. Like he wraps it up and then the bell rings. And I, you know, I can't. It's the host. Just he had it dialed. Dialed. My guy was dialed in that day. And it was a perfect stopping point. He's like, and don't forget, tomorrow your papers are due. He was like, yes. I did it. Teachers teach their entire lives and never know that high.

[01:23:18] Have you done that? I've done it. I've done it. And it's the best. I mean, two, three times a year. Were you like, they signed the papers at Appomattox. When it hits, it's the best thing ever. And you want to like give the kids a high five. Like, did you see what I just did? But I think you can't do that. I have one that I remember. Really? I literally have one of these that I remember. That was mid-time. I mean, I was in AP. The goal is you, in the U.S., you have to kill Lincoln by Christmas. Like that's to stay on track. You said it once.

[01:23:47] Lincoln has to be dead before you go on Christmas break. Lincoln is dead? I know. We were up against it. And on my last day of lecture before the midterms, I literally was like, and then at Ford's Theater on April, blah, blah, blah, 1865, blah, blah, John Wilkes Booth comes in and he shot Abraham Lincoln setting off the next phase of our evolution in civil rights known as Reconstruction after the Civil War. Bang, bell rang. Whoa! Really? Killed Lincoln at the bell. It was great. No video of this? No video. I'm still living off that high. Yeah. You're still chasing him.

[01:24:17] No video of the classroom. Wow. Still chasing him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, all those kids could have given you a round of applause. They should have. Actually, they did because it was very close. Everybody was in. And they knew we had to go Lincoln by Christmas. Otherwise, it would have been like Strodinger's Lincoln. Yeah, we don't know. He's there at the play. It could be. You did it and they applauded? They applauded, yes. That's the best day of all time. It's easily. Yeah, it's a top 10 moment. For sure. Disless. Dan's top 10 moment. Yeah, it's coming. Oh, what? Five. January 23rd, 2026.

[01:24:47] First of all, okay, there's this whole bit where Zazie recommends, you know, the hot new candle, you know, because she's very Oprah. And so Michelle Pfeiffer, of course, as a worshiper of Zazie, runs out and buys it for her gift that she's going to give everybody. And so she's going to give one to the perfect neighbor across the street, played by Joan Chen. And of course, Joan Chen comes over to give her her gift. And it's the three-wick version of this candle.

[01:25:15] And so Michelle Pfeiffer's like, oh, I'll get you your gift later because like now she has to one-up this woman somehow, which involves going to Crate and Barrel and shoplifting a five-wick candle because she doesn't want to wait in line to pay for it. And it just makes no sense for this character as presented that she would do something this flagrantly ridiculous. And then it leads to this very unfunny thing where she and the daughter are looting security

[01:25:44] guards and driving off. And then ultimately nothing happens, which is sort of like- Nothing happens. Are they making some statement about like, if you're a white lady, you can get rid of get away with anything or did the woman just forget that it happened? They get away with it and then she doesn't give it as the gift. What happened to the candle? Do they tell you? Yeah, oh, that's true. I forgot. Yeah, we never see that candle again, except I did see it on Instagram because Michelle Pfeiffer was selling that candle at Crate and Barrel.

[01:26:11] And I'm like, you are shilling a candle that your character in the movie steals from the store? What's happening? No, it was very confusing because she does get home and then she brings her the peppermint bark and not the candle. To your point, you load a plot gun like that for it to not pay off in any way, shape, or there is literally no reason that comes up later in this movie.

[01:26:40] If you want to say she's harried, she's had enough, she's starting to snap, she steals the candle. I'll buy that if it pays off. Yeah, have the cops chasing her across country. I thought the cops were going to arrest the woman across the street. She was going to give it to her and they were going to arrest her and that would have been what we call comedy. But instead, we got what we call nothing. They didn't do anything. She left, they got away with it, they stole the big candle, and then we get home and we never see the thing again.

[01:27:09] I don't get it. You did the work, why not give the candle? I don't understand. That's the biggest whitewater movie. Yeah, giant setup and then we just walk away from it. Yeah. The other one that drove me up the wall, and this is a thing that we have been Stockholm syndromed over the years to forgive in a Hallmark movie. If we're going to go with it, we accept whatever, fine. This movie would have us believe that Eva Longoria is playing basically a combination of Oprah and

[01:27:38] Martha Stewart. Uh-huh. And that this woman records a live TV show on Christmas Day. That's crazy. And Boxing Day. And it's like, this movie is made by people who work in show business. That's right. They all know this is a total lie. Yeah. They all know this is a gigantic contrivance to make this plot such as it is work the way that it does. And it's nonsense.

[01:28:04] Like, if the movie had even acknowledged that, like, she's a taskmaster that makes her staff come in on Christmas Day or something, you know, maybe. But no, we're just meant to accept that she tapes her big Christmas episode on Christmas Day when, of course, everyone is tuning in. Um, gobsmacked. Like, even a Hallmark movie that would be pushing it. But for a quote-unquote real movie with a real cast, it just felt flagrantly lazy.

[01:28:33] The fact that they film live on Christmas morning and then again on Boxing Day, it, like, makes Hallmark look like they know how television works. Well, yeah. But also, like, Ian, they're going to do the Zazie Mom's Christmas contest winner reveal or whatever on that show, Christmas Day. And they bring out all these moms who their kids have written in about how much their mom does for Christmas. You just stressed out so many of those moms.

[01:29:01] I got to go to Zazie's on Christmas morning? You pull them out of their houses, away from their events. You won't believe what my mom does on Christmas. Well, not this year. She's not. Not this year. Not a chance, bro. Zazie wants her Christmas Day. Sorry. Zazie wants as he gets. You know what I mean? There's nothing we can do. Anything else. It's all Zazie's road. We're living in it. That's right. Again, there's a ton, but those were the two that just, with the boulders that I could not get out of my path. Yeah.

[01:29:29] Incredible Hulk, January 26th, 2026. The raves are in. Yeah. People, they wanted to be in all Marvel. They were asking for Daily Marvel. I don't know how we would do that, but that's what they're asking for. They're asking for Daily Marvel. They're asking for Daily Marvel. Should you guys just eliminate Hallmark films for a bit? We can get this done in about a month. And it's just Marvel. We're watching the TV shows. What's suspicious is actually all those letters are sent in by Dan, who just wants to stop watching Hallmark movies.

[01:29:58] Monday, Tuesday's Loki. Wednesday's Agatha all along. I don't know. Agatha all the way. All the way. Think of Agatha all the way. All the way. Hey, Agatha. Sheesh. By the way, I think you guys are in the running for my groomsmen still. Ooh. That's great. Boy, this is big. This is big. The more I've been thinking about it, it might be the best way to make nobody angry. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Go with the two South Carolina boys. For sure. Yeah.

[01:30:28] Everybody tag below. Tag Tori Kelly below. And let's make this happen. Yeah. Let's make this happen. Would we be in green and gold as well? Or would we be in black tuxes? And you being green and gold. Probably black. But like, you know, it's too soon to say. And I don't want to get in the weeds here. But if those suits are Power Ranger themed, are we allowed to do that? Oh, like, do you guys want to wear Power Ranger suits? Is that what you're saying? I'm just like, are we allowed to be Black Rangers? I don't. Listen. I don't. No, no, no. I see what you're saying. No, no. I think you're too far.

[01:30:58] I don't. Yeah. I think. All right. I think whatever Elizabeth wants. When we run for office. I don't want it to look like. Not Elizabeth. Alyssa even. I would be. I would be more than happy to just comply with that. All I'm saying is when we run for office, Dan, I don't want anything. When we run for office, it's going to be us in black tuxes at a wedding. That's going to really stop that train. Yeah. When it's clearly Power Rangers. When he's got a green and gold one on and everybody's going to be like, why do they think they're Black Rangers? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:31:26] I think it'll be fine when you guys co-run for office together. When we run for office together. Of course. You get it. I want to talk culture. You want to talk Hulk? And also, yeah. I mean, also Hulk kind of green and gold. So really I'm doing it for the old. Yeah. It's Marvel Mondays. The thing about Ed Norton is he's an amazing actor, but he is like the Hollywood male Bethany Joy Lins. He is going to dig his heels in. We've had to bring it back to Hallmark somehow. He's going to dig his heels in. The parallels.

[01:31:56] And he's going to make the product he wants to make and he'll die on the hill every time. And that's why he makes very specific movies. Guys, I want to bring up something. And this might be a little bit more PG, PG-13. But we've got to talk about Abominations Wiener. So when we talk about these giant creatures, we have Hulk.

[01:32:23] Hulk, one of the things that's interesting about the Hulk is he gets big. His pants get big with him. He's always covered. His mid-region is always covered. That's right. Abominations not. Abomination is fully in the newts as best as I could tell. We don't see Abominations Wiener. And it makes you wonder what happens. If Lee doesn't cut, we've got to talk about Abominations Wiener. Where did it come from? Where did it go?

[01:32:52] Where's Abominations Wiener? Someone tell me so. Like, where is it? Where is it? There's like one shot where it looks almost like it's in some sort of bone satchel. Whoa! Like it's got like... I don't know. I don't know. Someone had to talk about it. And I'm here to talk about it. You know, we've all come to terms with the fact that the Hulk pants get big. But Abomination, I don't need, went sans pants. Sans pants.

[01:33:19] And also, maybe possibly sans wiener. I'm taking all the bone satchel stuff I have in here out. I'm sorry. Just give me a second. Thank you. I don't know. I don't know. And speaking of like things, like we know, we did like has Hulk ever jumped out of a helicopter just to see if he'd live? Like he seemed to have that clapping effect ready to go. And like if that doesn't work, like if I'm big guy doing this, surely it will cause someone.

[01:33:46] But if he doesn't do what it does, there's problems. There's probably like it worked out perfectly. How did he even... How did he figure that one out? Was he just like... Was he Hulk one day but also listening to some tunes? He's like, oh, that's windy. Like how did he like... He had that... Where did it come from? Where did it go? Where did it come from? Oh, it's windy. But mainly I just want to know about Abominations Wiener. Yeah. All right. Go ahead.

[01:34:15] I had Abominations Wiener, which makes this tough for me. William Hurt's character talking about the history of them trying to make a super soldier decides he is too cool and too official to say World War II. He says WW2, a phrase I've never heard... I've never heard anyone say it. WW2. I've taught history for 20 years.

[01:34:44] I've never heard anyone say WW2. It takes longer. Got to save time. That is World War II. World War II, three syllables. World War II. WW2. WW2. It's five syllables. Six. W. It's seven. Seven syllables. You could maybe say World War II twice, actually, before he can say WW2.

[01:35:08] He says WW2 like he's in on some secret lingo that only the Army knows. We don't say World War II. Or maybe that World War II is copyrighted. I don't know why he says it, but when he said it, I rewound it. Why is William Hurt saying WW2 drove me nuts? What if he said W? W. WW2. W. That does save time. What about dub, dub, dub, two? I've heard the second... We call it the dub, dub. The dub, dub.

[01:35:38] Dub, dub, dub, dub, dub. I've heard the Second World War before. I've heard that. I've never heard WW2. That's something that a child would say when reading it to me. My kid is reading a book and go, Dad, what's WW2? That's what that is. William Hurt is not saying WW2 for sure. Apparently he is. No, the screenwriter wrote it down. It does save time writing it. I will give the screenwriter a pass there.

[01:36:06] Maybe he wrote it like that thinking they would say World War II. Maybe the director thought that was an Ed Norton line. He's like, I'm going to make him look really stupid. William Hurt's the Ron Burgundy of this movie reads whatever's on the prompter and just reads WW2. It's time for Caught by Love, January 27th, 2026. What is this? Whoa, what is that? Yeah. Is that yuck? What is that? It's chocolate.

[01:36:36] Oh, you got chocolate? When were you eating chocolate? I don't know what's happening. I don't know. I don't know where this chocolate came from. Mystery chocolate. Should we call it? Mystery chocolate. Can we call Luke? I don't know what to do with it. How did you get it on your hand? I don't know. This is paper. Let's wipe it on there, I guess. Oh my God, that's gross. There's a bunch of chocolate. What kind of place are we running around here? I honestly, I don't know where it came from. Did you have chocolate today? No. You were at the detox center earlier. No chocolate. Okay, anyway.

[01:37:05] Gilmore Girls, season one, episode four and five, January 28th, 2026. La la la la la. Best theme song ever. Gilmore the Marrier. Marrier. To another episode of Gilmore the Marrier. Gilmore the Marrier. It feels like we were just here. It does. Do we have any new reviews? Yeah. Yes.

[01:37:34] Nope. This one says right here, best theme song ever. Best theme song ever. Wow. And if it were only longer. Yes. I believe what they said is it feels close enough to a La La Song of Gilmore Girls that I would recognize it, but not close enough to be copyright infringement. Right. I hear you. You got to toe that line. Yes. I got to toe that line. Now, Chad, you were here the last two weeks you drove down. The third week you've driven down again, but you did change clothes this time, which is great. I did, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I spilled coffee.

[01:38:04] You went with a bright coral kind of look. You're really embracing the spring early here. Yeah, exactly. You're not going to come down next week, though. There's no way you come down four weeks in a row. I do. I'll probably wear the same top. That's all I'm saying. Okay. You're committing to it twice in a row. Interesting. I was embarrassed one time I showed up with that B-52 shirt under the blazer because I spilled coffee, but that's a whole other story. Embarrassment as big as a whale, you know what I mean? 100%. It's great to be here once again. We're diving through. Are you okay? Yeah. I'm just going to check it out.

[01:38:33] Sometimes it's emotional. I love to show some shit. We're diving in the stars, Hawk. Yeah. We are making our way through Gilmore Girls. I've seen the show. These two have not seen the show. One of my favorite shows of all time. I'm hoping it'll be theirs as well. We've got a lot to get to, though. This is only episodes four and five this week. That's right. We're doing two at a time. That's the way I understand it. And I'm very excited. I got a couple.

[01:38:59] One, this is more like, I just think it's funny that at this school, it's very fancy, very uppity that the bullies at this school just fixate on grades. They really do. They don't like talk about the way she looks, where she's from, anything like that. It's just like, oh, you got a D. Hey, can you believe that? Someone's got to do whatever. The worst type of bullying. The worst type.

[01:39:26] At one point, Lane's mom, who sells this antique shop, sells a table for $375. And I just think that that lady got rocked. I think it was $372. That's too much for that table. That table was nothing to write home about. It was funny that they had to get up while they were using the table. It was very funny. But then when they get up, I'm like, $375. Okay. So when she goes to this meeting, she is in a B-52 shirt, as you mentioned.

[01:39:56] And she goes to talk to Mr. Medea about the D or whatever. And he goes, are you big B-52s fan? Do you want to go to my love shack, baby? And she says, no. I just keep the shirt in my car. I spilled coffee on my other shirt. What? Why? Excuse me, what? I'm not a B-52 fan. I hate them, actually. That's why I have a shirt in my car as a just-in-case shirt.

[01:40:26] My backup shirt is a band I don't care about at all. I just have it in my car for whatever. You never know if you're going to spill coffee. At one point, to showcase how much homework Rory has, she carries in four bags. And I don't understand. They're the number one, like, multi-sport athlete, super Mensa member, Brainiac.

[01:40:54] They don't have four bags. Like, it's got to be a more efficient way to go about that. I'm just saying, like, you- To illustrate that she's busy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just- That was tough. When she gets hit by the deer, her jeep is there. And then we see the jeep is pulled up to a four-way stop. The stop sign is not facing the jeep. It's actually facing the wrong direction. No, the deer did that too. The deer had spun it around.

[01:41:20] The deer had turned it with his hooves to exactly a perfect angle. The deer's a prankster. Yeah. Is that his first time? No, no, no. He loves that intersection. Right. There are two scenes, one in the grocery store and one in the bake sale in this episode that involve no less than 20 extras who are all 100% silent. Right. And it is off-putting. They are walking through- They didn't add any crowd, like any noise behind us in post. They didn't add any crowd noise. No.

[01:41:48] And it is like something out of a Shyamalan movie. Or like who? Because that's- Yeah, you get it. We'll get that. Because that's how they shoot those scenes. Yes. But usually they pipe in a little noise in the back and they- When you're in the grocery store, how incredibly terrifying would it be to hear nothing? Dead silent. To hear nothing. Like you're about to die. Interview with Christopher Palaha, January 29th, 2026. But the last three- Well, you also did a non-Christmas movie.

[01:42:16] You played the little football soccer coach. We're not talking about that one. With the hair cut. I love you. We're not talking about that one. Love the hair, man. The hair was great. I legitimately love the hair. Everybody wear your hair, dad. That's right, yeah. And then you just borrowed it for mimics, right? It was the same- That's right. Right. But yeah, man, I thought when they came to me with that, I was going to play her dad. That's interesting because my understanding is you only did it for the shirts.

[01:42:45] Yeah, no, that was the other thing. Big wardrobe guy. I mean, amazing shirts. Yeah. Our costume designer was also the costume designer that worked on Sex in the City. Okay. And she is quite honestly and possibly a genius. Like, every outfit had texture and color and fabric. But I was like, really? That one? We're going to put me in that one? Yeah. I mean, one of those shirts was straight from Garth Brooks. Like, it was the best. Garth Brooks shirt. Yeah. The red and black one.

[01:43:14] Yes, for sure. Crazy colorful one. And I was like- And when the comedy hits, you're like, we got it. Am I boring you, Brandon? No, it's just I'm not used to recording at night, Chris. I'll be honest with you. He shouldn't have even been here. Could have been just the two of us, Chris. You know what I mean? He's like, guys, I don't want to talk about it. Very Merry Mystery, January 31st, 2026.

[01:43:39] The thing that I like is in this movie that doesn't really get explored at all is the idea of a murder mystery party that's Christmas Carol themed about who killed Scrooge. I think that's a funny idea. Like, the idea of you have to play a character from Christmas Carol. Tiny Tim is a suspect. Like, there is a lot of humor to be had from the premise Christmas Carol murder mystery. Like, the premise that you want to do a new take on Christmas Carol.

[01:44:09] How about somebody, instead of Scrooge learning a lesson, instead of that, somebody going, I'm killing the rich guy. And then we all have to figure out who did it. That's fun. We don't start by questioning Tiny Tim, but we get there eventually. Yeah, sure. We have to at least clear him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100. He's a person of interest. When that crowbar slides out of his crotch, it's crazy. All of a sudden, you're like, oh my God, he did it. He did it. So they're all there, right?

[01:44:37] And then when this real ransom note appears, after that, the police, the detective comes in and basically at least two people in that room wax poetic about how much they hated the person that's missing. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Can you imagine being in a house where someone gets taken and you're like, oh my God, I hated them. Can you imagine being in that boat? I mean, not out loud. It's something you text each other. Can you imagine?

[01:45:04] Now that they're gone, thank goodness, because I was ready to kill them. Like, you can't do that, dude. Like, it's not going to go well. I want to know, the lipstick stain on this guy's collar is massive. It's not like, you know, CSI caught a break and found a follicle. Like, this thing is ginormous. And so my question... She missed his skin altogether. Yeah, exactly. Like, that was a whole list.

[01:45:34] She was making that with the shirt. She loves that shirt. That shirt is so... The starch. Give me the starch. I love it. I just want to know if that was added toward the end of the movie in the props or we missed it all movie. Because I did not bother to go back. But when they show the lipstick stain, I'm like, how did no one comment on this all movie lyric? This entire movie. This is like, it would draw your eye immediately. And then I was like, well, it didn't draw my eye. Was it on him earlier?

[01:46:04] Did they have him turned all movie? I don't know. I'd have to go back and watch it again, which I most certainly will not do. So I guess it will remain a mystery. When Calls the Heart, Season 13, Episode 4, February 1st, 2026. What's all over your shirt? Oh, they're olives. They're olives. Got it. I was trying to figure out if they were jelly-filled donuts. Like, I couldn't tell. Oh, no, but actually, that'd be cuter. Yeah, yeah. Jelly-filled donuts. Who makes that one? Um, this is not Queen of Sparkles. This one's rented.

[01:46:33] Oh, I think it's Rachel Antonoff. Rachel Antonoff. Is that a runway? Rent the runway? It's a rent the runway. Of course. Of course it is. Someone's wearing olives on the runway? Yep. I mean, if it's good enough for Jax, I think it's good enough for the runway. I think we've established that. Well, no, I think that it's a beautiful top. Great work. God, that is disgusting. It's just disgusting what you said. And I can't explain why it's disgusting. And I don't know. I don't know.

[01:47:02] Lee, if you could clip it along with Jax looking like she's going to vomit, that would make me happy. I don't like it either. It's a beautiful top. All I'm saying is... What are you doing? Are you smoking a cigarette outside of a gas station? Never once. It's a beautiful top. Hey there. I never once wanted to go to... What do they call it? The runway. The runway. Runway times. A fashion show. That's the one.

[01:47:29] But I'm more inclined to go to a fashion show with sweaters with olives on it. With beautiful tops. Yes, I hear what you're saying. Yes. Because they're beautiful tops. They're beautiful tops. They're beautiful tops. Keep going, Jax. Please go. When I was a junior in high school, I had... I don't want to reveal too much, but I had like a mid-20s... Since when? What are you talking about?

[01:47:58] I don't... I'm going to play this one close to the best. This is not... This is not... I like protecting others rather than myself. Sure. So this is why there was a mid-20s man in my life that was a figure, an authority figure, that when I told him I was turning 18, it had the same reaction that Allie did with Allie turning 18 in this episode.

[01:48:24] And I was like, why is Allie so excited that Allie is turning 18? And I know the actress is actually 19 in real life, so there was something about it. Like, look, I know it's just... But she's not. But Allie's not. Allie's still a minor. Not that kind of minor. Those are all dead. Those are all dead. Shout out. There is no better romantic song than that you and your husband chose well.

[01:48:53] Rene, Jax, you want to give Rene a little... I am a man who will fight for your honor. You guys know it too? Oh, yeah. I sing along. You guys know it. Yeah. I don't know the track now. Wow. Man. We'll do Freeport Harmony sometime. All right, I'll learn it. We'll get it ready for next time. Missing the Boat, February 3rd, 2026. For Crandall... Crandall. Crandall. Crandall. Crandall Cruises, but they also own other things.

[01:49:23] Crandall Enterprises. Who is... It's hard to get by that. Potentially... You guys talk about me all the time. Crandall, how you doing? Finally, finally, I get some recognition and notoriety from all of my successes. Crandall, were you surprised to hear your name in a movie? I was picking my teeth over it. I was... Were you doing that anyway? It just happened? Picking my teeth when I heard it. Yeah, that's what I meant. I'm not used to this format.

[01:49:52] I'm used to other formats of media. What? What? Television. Okay. Beta Max. Disc. Disc. Wait, so what are you having a hard time with? You guys never talk about me in the right way. How is that true? I have a bone to pick with you as I was picking my teeth and I heard what they said, which was all the good things.

[01:50:23] You wouldn't get it. Thank you, Crandall. You're welcome. Crandall's out of here. Douche it. Don't let the door hit you with the good Lord split you. Yes. Parker works for Crandall Enterprises, who is potentially... It was a fresh toothpick. It wasn't a used toothpick. I was picking my teeth. Oh, I heard. I was picking them. I had had roast beef. I was picking my teeth out. It's not weird. Don't say it's weird. It's not weird.

[01:50:53] It's not weird. You're looking like it's weird. Why are you looking like that? No, I just want to move on. I just want to move on. It's not weird. Can you say it? It is called a toothpick. Picking your teeth with a toothpick is not weird. Thank you. Crandall's out of here. Heroes for Crandall Enterprises. So those are actually dolphins. Orcas are dolphins. That's not a great example. You seem to know a lot about whales. I know. Yeah, that's why they're the worst. You know what I mean? Can you imagine this other... Oh, no. Is he on the line?

[01:51:22] Did he hear all that? Whale guy's here? Didn't we hang up on him like months ago? No. It's hardwired. What is your name again, whale guy? Whale guy. But what's your name? Whale guy. On your birth certificate. Whale guy. Your last name is God. First name's whale. That's exactly right. So it was pretty much set in stone what you were going to do. Yes. Yep. Why are you here? Did you have a presentation today for us? Oh, you heard. I'm always here. I'm on QC. You're on quality control? For the show. For the show. You didn't know that. Any reports for us?

[01:51:52] You guys have been doing a really good job talking about whales and then it all came tumbling down today. Oh, man. It all came tumbling down. It sure did. Okay. House of cards. Anything else? Whale guy? Mr. Guy? Disappointed in you, Dan. Okay. Thank you. We got the Walter Grayson seal in season. Just remember, I'm always here. And I'm always disappointed in you, whale guy. Oh. I just want to be very clear. Six and a half dozen. Okay. Thank you, buddy. God bless. Yeah. God bless you. Oh, no. Oh, no. Can you imagine the other?

[01:52:24] For her. She's a big fan. And she's thinking like, I want to give back to Hey Dudes. So I'm going to... She's out there pitching products to Hey Dudes because she thinks she can add to their portfolio. And so she... She doesn't want to start her own company. No, no, no. She wants to hitch a wagon to... To Hey Dudes. Yeah. Hitch a wagon to Hey Dudes. She wants to be one of the dudes. They got everything set up. You know, you just get in there and you start rolling with them and you'll be all set. Yeah. So she's... What I learned, she's presenting pretty soon. A brassiere product.

[01:52:54] Okay. To the company. And so... I haven't heard the word brassiere in a long time. No, that's what it's called. What's a brassiere? A woman's product that goes under the clothing. A brassiere. That's what that's called. Like a bra. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. A brassiere. Yeah. A brassiere. She is pitching a bra to the shoe company. Called Hey Dudes. Right. To help them expand their portfolio. I can hear people unsubscribing. Say brazier one more time, Bri. I think that'll do it. Brazier. There it is. All right.

[01:53:23] What's it called? Sup, brah. We're all really rooting for her because, you know, this could be huge for... Worth it. I take that hair they ever said. Sup, brah. Spunny. Spunny. Right behind that, she's got a very fancy hat idea. Yeah. No cap. No cap. That's right. You could have saved that for a different one and been great, but you doubled down. Sup, brah.

[01:53:52] I mean, she's just full of... That's right. She's just rolling. I mean, this is going to get her in the door, I think. You think so? Oh, yeah. Sup, brah. No cap? Absolutely. So watch out for those. I don't know how fashion works. Are those brahs? When's the next Spider-Verse movie coming up? That's about when you should... Like Hey Dudes, are the bras big and bulky and weird? Yeah, very weird. Right on brand. Right on brand. Love that. I love that. Very cool. All right, everybody. We did it. The February preview show, four days into the month, February 4th, 2026.

[01:54:23] One month, 28 days, four movies. How are you going to hear about them? Only on a Death to Home, our preview show. That's right. How will you know how to go into the movie expecting good or bad if we don't tell you? That's right. Preview, preview, preview. We... Wham, wham, wham. There you go. That one always works. That button when you... Never goes wrong. Some other buttons don't always work. That button always works. Yeah. It's hardwired. Every time. So we got a lot to get...

[01:54:54] All right. Bri guy. Chicken parms. Sure. I think I'm going to go two and a half chicken parms on this because it's a little bit below the misconnection for me, I would say. And so two and a half chicken parms for me. That's a death sentence. Two and a half chicken parms. This movie... We love Sarah Drew around here. Yeah, we do. This movie... You know, any eclipse movie I'm already thinking is going to be really bad. So that's tough. Yeah, I'm just...

[01:55:22] I have a cream and if I don't use it here, I'm using it on the last movie, whatever it is. And that's a real tough spot to be when you know that it's a preemptive. You have to. It's an imperative cream. I... Brother. It's zero. It's zero no cream. I'm sorry. I'll take my chances. Zero chicken parms. I can't possibly enjoy a chicken parm with an eclipse movie on it. Are you kidding me? There's no one I trust... Has it ever been done? There's no one I trust less with an eclipse movie than Hallmark. No one. But what about with Sarah Drew? I think that I thought about a half parm, but I was like, at that point, why even parm it? You know what I mean?

[01:55:52] Well, you still get half parm. Yeah. No, I think it's a zero. Half parm is better than no parms. It's a zero. Always. Eclipse movie is bad. It's a bad idea. So I agree with Bri guy. 17 minutes in, this is content. All right. The movie that Dan is craving. Oh, boy. The movie I'm craving is... Oh, boy. Is Romance at Hope Ranch. Oh, no. It's a ranch movie? Starring February... Sorry. Yeah, it is in February. February 28th. Come on down to February.

[01:56:19] February's the star, but you're going to steal the show in your brand new Kia. And then Dan, the creamed movie is the one with Allison Sweeney and Gabriel Hogan. Oh, dear God. Sounds like a good time. Hope Morgan. Well, that's interesting because his name is Gabriel Hogan, but her name in the movie is Hope Morgan. Hope Morgan sets out to begin a new chapter of her life.

[01:56:50] Fulfilling her childhood... Fulfilling... Dan? Fulfilling her childhood dream of running a ranch. I hate everyone. In the picturesque town of Rudoso, New Mexico. This is a cream against my will. And... And... Cream crime. That's right. And... Reviving the beloved Giddy Up Gala. No!

[01:57:21] The Giddy... Yeah! No! Giddy Up Gala. Coming to town. The Giddy Up Gala! It's coming back. The Giddy Up Gala! Boy, we've missed it. Haven't we? Buddy! From your lips! Hasn't been the same without it. Goat Megan? How they doing? Yeah. How about that? Oh my gosh. Yeah, man. Yep. Well... This is the worst. This is why I need to read ahead. Well... Yeah. If I read ahead, this doesn't happen. What would you have? Can I retro... Oh, absolutely.

[01:57:50] You know the answer to that. What would you have? If I could go back... If I could turn back time... I probably would cream the Cupid movie. Uh-huh. The high boom bust potential. Uh-huh. I would have probably... In retrospect... Or maybe the New Yorker one. They got worse as they went along. Can we say that? I think we... We went from the New York Miss Connection to Cupid to Eclipse to the Giddy Up Gala. Giddy Up Gala. It's a good name. What's her dream? It is shit. Let's not poo-poo on it. Let's not poo-poo on her dream. Uh-huh.

[01:58:21] Uh, Bri? Gilmore Girls, Season 1, Episode 6 and 7. 6-7. Wow. February 5th, 2026. Gilmore the Man of Year. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Gilmore the Marrier.

[01:58:50] A Gilmore Girls podcast from a guy who loves the show and two fellas who have never seen it. We're getting to experience it for the very first time. A beloved show. Dan, how are you dealing with all the pushback that you're getting? I'm dealing just fine. You know, that's never bothered me on 1,500 episodes of Deck the Homework. But I will say, I didn't realize how much people love this show. And I'm glad that I'm watching it. Because if it's a beloved show, then it's something I would like to be a part of. There you go. And now that you know how much it means to people, will that affect you? No.

[01:59:20] God, no. Maybe the other way. I'll sleep like a baby. And Chad. And then with the seltzers you have. That's right. You get it. So on the opposite end, you're continuing to get more fan mail than we've ever seen. Yes. It's crazy. We need to get a bigger PO box. Right. They got mad instead of the post office. You were telling us beforehand, though, about something that you weren't expecting. What was that thing? Oh, my gosh. People were sending me giant bags of gold. Wow.

[01:59:46] They're just saying that since I'm spewing out gold week after week with the show, they wanted to give it back to me. That's phenomenal. So you're making actual gold on this deal? Apparently. I mean, I haven't actually tested it metallurgy-wise to see if it's real gold. But it certainly looks like it. One, I did open it at Chocolate Inside. I was thrilled about that. It was more than gold. But other than that, just sacks of gold. Will you let us know if it's all chocolate or if it's all- And if there is a cash component, is there anything you can share with it? Gentlemen, let's just say it's all chocolate. I'll handle the gold. All right, guys? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My back hurts, though.

[02:00:16] It's a lot. But thank you, everybody. Please keep sending it right to the PO box. Yeah, for sure. 100%. Weird. So far, an ear and gold. It's a weird combo of gold and ears. It's very nice. What's that PO box, Sophie? It's PO box 6365, Greenville, South Carolina, 29606. Yeah, keep sending that gold. We'll get it. I mean, Chad's coming down every week. Yeah, he's coming. We'll get it to him. We'll get it to him. I did get a kick out of it's her birthday, and she decides I'm going to go down to the college fair. Right.

[02:00:46] Why? Why is she going to the college fair? It's important. Because she needs a new brochure from Harvard. Which needs a brochure. Harvard needs a brochure. Harvard is big on- Yes. Harvard has a table at this outside college fair. Ostensibly for recruiting. I understand. We're at Chilton. This is at Chilton. Fancy school. Uppity ups. It's Harvard.

[02:01:15] Harvard doesn't need to convince you. Case in point, she already has a brochure, and she wants another. Further, clearly, if you want to go to Harvard, they don't need to convince you. I wait for the two-for-one coupon. Oh, totally. On Black Friday, they mail out the mailer, and it's got the two-for-one. That's when I do Harvard. Right. If you want to go there. Well, you see the table next to it with somebody who is also selling oxygen. They're like, try us. Breathe us. Please.

[02:01:44] Something you should try. Yeah. Top elements. And you mentioned it while we were watching. It was next to the Bugatti dealership. They were doing free test drives over there. Them having a table at this college fair makes it seem like they're going back to the office being like, man, it was a good day. We do give away some. I think enrollment might be up this year. I think we might get those numbers out. You think we're going to have a full boat? We're going to have a full boat. We're going to pack all those dorms at Yale. Guys, guys, one came in. Somebody came in to apply.

[02:02:14] We got an application. Yeah, we got an application from Yale. We haven't had a full boat in years. Yeah. Maybe this is the year. We're going under. You know what? Your strategy of showing up at random school fairs is paying off, guys. Yeah, it's great. I'm already looking forward to the email that we're going to get at GilmoreTheMerryYourPod at gmail.com. That's like they actually do show up to tell us. Of course. Yeah. So.

[02:02:41] But my favorite of this week is easily. You know, the best part about this show, in my opinion, is the snappy dialogue. Aaron Sorkin, Amy Sherman Palladino have this thing where everyone says the thing that they're feeling as articulately as possible immediately and quick, locked and loaded. And it's not realistic. It's better. It's better. I want my this particular TV show to have this rat-a-tat-tat dialogue where everyone's already. You know, you know how many times you leave a situation and you're like, I should have

[02:03:11] said this. Why didn't I say this? I didn't remember this. That doesn't happen in Stars Hollow. It doesn't happen on Gilmore Girls. They've got it loaded, ready in the chamber, and they're ready to pop their pop up, boom, boom, boom, back and forth. Everybody's listening intently and everybody's speaking intently and they're super articulate. And very rarely does that bother me. But Dean, at the end, talking to Lorelai, explaining in terms that maybe a 30-year-old would explain

[02:03:34] why it's important that she, like him, is the least high school boy thing of all time. It's hysterical. You need to watch Dean, who's like, in the previous episode, I got you this necklace. He goes from that to be like... Gracelet? That's right. Right. There's a collective understanding that the mother of a daughter of a single-parent home is diametrically opposed to my love for her.

[02:04:00] And if I can't have your blessing, then my chances are precipitously in peril. Like, it's like, what in the world, Dean? Right. Did he just attend a TED Talk? He's got a thesaurus over here. Hey, guys, I'm Dean. Welcome to my TED Talk. About why it's important to get the mom on board early. It is my absolute favorite, because normally, like, you know, and Aaron Sorkin shows us the same thing. Like, people aren't this articulate. They just aren't on a regular basis and that fast. And so it's part of the show.

[02:04:29] I'm not mad at the show, but when this high school boy does it, when talking to Rory's mom, who, you know, as a high school boy, you're talking to a 30-year-old woman that looks like Lauren Graham, and you're just like, well, let me... This is when I break out the big words. This is when I'm, like, really going to show you how awesome I am. I actually put a lot of thought into this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I came up with the whole speech. Hold on one second. I have a... That's right. Yeah, exactly. It was great. Joy to the World, February 6th, 2026. Pretty ex-movies. You and I couldn't stop giggling over the hot dog tattoo, though.

[02:04:59] That was half the movie. Oh, man. He has a hot dog tattoo, and they never really explain it, and we just couldn't stop laughing that Brad Pitt just was like, went into a tattoo parlor and was like, it's time for the hot dog. Yeah. That's right. Weiner me up. Yeah, yeah. I do think there was a deleted... We found out that he's pointing at a scar from a back surgery. That's right. It's a hot dog. But we don't get that information in the movie, so... And they do a lot of close-up on the hot dog. There's a lot of hot dog play there. You just gotta stay in the hot dog mystery. That's right.

[02:05:28] It makes you wonder what does Big Hot Dog have over the Oscar guys. Oscar. You got it. Oscar. Over Oscar. The Oscar Myers. Ah! It's all coming together. It all makes sense. If you want your movie to get a Best Picture nom, you just gotta put a hot dog in there somewhere. That's right. Where are the Franks? That's right. If you watch Sinners, it's a split second. Yeah. But the hot dog's there. Del Rolando eating a hot dog. That's right. That's very good.

[02:05:57] Outside of Nathan's. That's right. All right. We're talking... There are logs on the shelf. If you look at the decor of this house, there are literally logs on bookshelves. Where are you putting your logs? That's great. Of course. You know, I would have loved for them to catch fire up there just to see how that was gonna go. Is it like the birch wood that's sometimes used for decor? It's...

[02:06:24] I don't know what they were doing, but it doesn't work. It's not like it's a door of flame, but it's still not... It's not going for the effect that they think they're getting. And then finally... A lot of times that Liza during this looks at the camera and goes, Are you getting this? This is live TV! Yeah. It's live! It's live! Liza! It's live! You can't look at the camera and be like, Are you getting this? Just hope they are. At one point she says, Keep it rolling. This is TV gold.

[02:06:54] It's live! It's live! It's pushing it live! This movie makes... What's the one where Danny isn't adopted? Right? Road to Christmas or... Yeah, whatever. Yeah. This makes Road to Christmas look like a documentary about how you do a live TV show on Christmas Eve because they truck in lights. There's a bank of monitors. There's a whole crew there. This movie, it's the two of them. I mean, we haven't spent long... Do you have others? I just have one more.

[02:07:22] Because we haven't spent long enough on the fact that this is live on Christmas Eve. It's live on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve night. Yeah, Christmas Eve. That's what everyone's watching. Everyone's watching Christmas Eve night. Yeah. And doing something like this... The stronghold that Liza has on her audience. There's... About that mom, but it isn't... It's actually about the dad. How bad of a human being is that dad? They came back early. He didn't even show up. He didn't even show up. He didn't even show up to pop his face and to be like, Is my child okay? He's so mad. He's still in the car.

[02:07:52] He's just... I can't believe we came home early for this night. So we're going to spend time with our kids? And he's not there. And then like the next day, right? She goes to the house where they're all like, They've got plans and stuff. And he's still not showing his face, right? I could have been neck deep in stew. I could have been four bowls deep minimum. I didn't even know what was possible. I heard it is. I heard it is. My confidence will go through the roof. That's exactly right. I've just been taking cocaine. I could just do stew. This is crazy. I could have been doing stew this whole time. That's why they call him Disco Stew. That's right.

[02:08:21] We did everybody... When Calls the Heart, Season 13, Episode 5, February 7, 2026. Using that bravery, speaks up and says, I don't want to be Little Jack anymore. That's big news. I'm not Little. For now on, I would like to be known as LG. LJ. LJ. LG. LG TV. LJ. Yeah, LJ. Which is short for... Little Jack. But... But... He's different.

[02:08:51] I'm not Little. Call me LJ. Which is a shorter version of Little Jack. Hey, Dan. Yeah, but... I gotta be honest with you. If you want to get away from Little... Right. Wouldn't you suggest... No, I brought it up with the writers ASAP. Right away. ASAP. When I saw this in the script, I said, this is ridiculous. Little Jack. That's what I'm saying. LJ. Yes. That is... That does... It gives Little Jack, right? I pushed... I pushed for BJ.

[02:09:22] Big Jack. Big Jack. Yes, BJ. They said they won't go for that. You pushed for BJ. I pushed... They said... They said we're not doing that. Not doing Big Jack. Not doing BJ. Big Jack maybe in a few years. Maybe season 18. We're not doing BJ. It's on Wind Calls to Heart. Not doing BJ. They said no. Right. Big Jack was out. BJ out. What about Hungry Jack? Like the biscuits. Oh, I love those biscuits. BJ. BJ. All right, I gotta go. Jax is ahead of me.

[02:09:53] I wasn't gonna say it, but Jax said it. It was great. I was willing to make a subtle joke. I wasn't about to allow it. And Jax was like, what if I said... What if I went... What if I did... What if I just made it obvious to everyone? What if I made sure I got out in front of it? Lee shows Gwen his plans to rebuild Benson Hill. I love Bill. I know you do. No, thank you. I love Bill so much that I would be thrilled if he crashed a date with me and Alex.

[02:10:22] But that's for other reasons. Anyway, never mind. All I'm saying is, then he crashes Ali and I shouldn't have said it. Cut it. This is the dirtiest episode of When Calls the Heart Deck, the Hallmark we've ever done. And it's all because of Jax. I want to be clear. I know what LJ did when he came on, but I thought that was subtle enough. I know what LJ was. But what Jax has said on this episode is the dirtiest thing we've ever done. You know what?

[02:10:50] I just really like to bring it to the forefront in case no one's understanding. In case everyone's as slow on the uptake as I am, I need to really spell it out as soon as I understand it. I'm like, oh, Hungry Jack. You are to podcasting as Ali is to acting. I really am. Like you want it all out. You want it all out. Honestly, and girl, I appreciate it. We don't always need subtle, please. Leave that to other. Leave that to the greats. Like Meryl Streep and the two of you guys. And Deck the Hallmark. You know what I'm saying?

[02:11:20] Yeah. This was a fun. Girl, you go ahead. Go off. Like me. Oh, get out of here. Get out of here, Jax. Look, I will say all the girls from Mount Carmel that ended up coming out later on in life were the ones giving me titty twisters on the basketball bus. So I don't care. Anyway. What a sentence. What a sentence at all.

[02:11:48] I just, we can't record this early ever again. We get the filthiest Jax that we ever. 10.30 AM. It was on the basketball bus. It was on the basketball bus. Well, let's get to really quick. Yeah. The ED and Lucas. What wonderful chemistry. They're moving this desk, right? Thor. February 9th, 2026. Pretty cool hat though, right? Pretty awesome hat. Very cool hat. Pretty awesome hat. What do you like to get there?

[02:12:16] I mean, we pretty much just get essentials. Although I got to say, you know, I know we're out of season. Underrated Christmas section at Costco. Oh, they got a great Christmas section. Like they always have several Disney exclusives. They do. Like exclusive to Costco brand. You know this very well. We talk about it every year. Of course. I got my Christmas tree from Costco. I know. And I forgot to ask you the follow-up. So it made it through the season. One more year. Just to pull back the curtain. Just to pull back the curtain. The curtain. I'm pulling back that curtain.

[02:12:45] We were, you know, late, late October. Ryguy's getting ready to put up his Christmas tree. And he's telling me, I don't, I mean, I'm nervous to turn this thing on. This might be it. It might be, it might be gonzo for the Costco tree, which you've had for how many years? I got in 2019. Yeah. Really, really good price. I mean, it's been a great run. Yeah. Great run. Yeah. It showed some signs of, it showed its first real signs of fading last year. And so I thought this year was going to be a massive decline, like 85 to 80, if you will. Yeah.

[02:13:14] Or inverse that, depending on who you're talking to. You did it. You did it. Yeah. But it really, I mean, no worse this year than last year. Wow. So we're going one more year. That's great. I bought a really expensive, right? How do you contain your tree? How do you contain it? I got to be honest. It can't be contained. It's on fire. It's unconscious. What do you mean? Yeah. Boom, shakalaka. Are you asking me how he packs it up? Is that what you're asking? Yeah. I just put it. How do you contain it? I just put it back in the box that came in like a normal person. Yeah.

[02:13:43] So I got rid of that box years ago. And so we bought a really heavy duty. Yeah. That made me happy. We bought a really heavy duty container with wheels just the other day. Yeah, you did. Do you guys remember, it was three weeks ago as the Icepocalypse. You remember this. I think so. Yeah. Three weeks ago. You hunkered down. Three-ish weeks. And we made it. We made it through. Costco was a madhouse. That's why I know about the 85-15 is because I bought it just in case.

[02:14:12] And I'm glad I did, obviously. Yeah. But it took me a while. It's your just-in-case beef. It took me a while to pull the trigger on it. Like, it'll do if I have to. I'm in the store. If you need to live. And it's jammed. And there's plenty of ground beef. And I keep looking going, I think 85-15 is as close as I'm going to get. Do I want four pounds of 85-15? And at the end of the day, I did pull the trigger on it. And I, you know, but- Proud of you. But, you know, it was a zoo. I can't imagine that happening during Christmas time. Like, Costco's already a zoo during Christmas time.

[02:14:38] If what happened three weeks ago happened the week before Christmas, I don't even know what you would do. I don't even know. I parked probably- That's good Costco. I probably parked a quarter mile away from the entrance. You get your steps in at Costco. You get your steps in at Costco. It's crazy. Or outside of it. Yeah. Unbelievable. It's a big warehouse. It's a big warehouse. All right, Wife. Big warehouse. That was really good stuff there, right? Oh, really? That was great. Yeah, man. That covered up. Yeah. We're talking about Thor. In Norway. Can you slow down?

[02:15:08] I'm taking notes over here. Using the Tesseract and hoping of taking over Earth. Hoping of taking over Earth. Can you spell Tesseract for me, Brad? Yeah. Two S's or one S for Tesseract? Two S's is my understanding. On the test. And then act in the conventional way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the test is spelling count. Is spelling count on the test? No. Okay. As long as I can tell. Luckily, the Asgardians show. The image that sticks with me when I love, I love stuff in Asgard. I love stuff in America.

[02:15:37] But this part of the movie is just like so bad and it sticks with me. But it feels like Rainbow Road. It feels like we're, you know. I was thinking about Lee taking the clip of you saying I love stuff here in America. I love stuff here in America. You want a better cut of it? 80-20 ground beef. Yeah, it's really cool. Physical media. The things that matter. Finally, the truth comes out. They love the way things are going. Made in America. All right. It's time for what a Marvel. What a Marvel. That's where we talk about.

[02:16:06] ...talk about is known by most as one of the all-time worst of these movies. By, you know, pretty, the consensus is Thor The Dark World's a bottom 10 Hallmark movie. Or a Hallmark movie. It's not, maybe. Wow, that's a major test. That's bigger than the Natalie Portman take. That's crazy. Can we do that? Should we rank 10 Hallmark films and 10 Hallmark films? Oh, yeah. But like this movie, I don't know what the secret sauce was that they...

[02:16:33] The Way to You, February 10th, 2026. This is a Dr. Hallmark podcast. Going to... Trying some stuff. Is he doing training? Is he just freestyle on here, dude? Oh, yes. Yes, that's subway. Going to... I'm afraid there was a blackout, Brian. You get to start. The S train with Brian, who loves Hallmark movies. If you think for a second that I'm joining you. If you think for one second. Brian, on the F train, I like Hallmark.

[02:17:03] Train movies? I'm Dan. Nope. That's not the... Tag in. This is... The S train for stupid. Okay. I'm Dan. This is the Dr. Hallmark podcast. Both M and Conrad. Brian, did you call yourself the self-proclaimed mayor of Poundtown? Nope. Almost, but no. All right, really quick. I mean, do we... Yes.

[02:17:33] Can you explain that? I didn't know this. How did that start? So, I'll tell you a little bit. Brian... It's a fun weekend of the group. That's what I'll say about this. If you were in the Facebook group, all above Bourne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should join the Double Decker group. Brian is watching Survivor David Wirth's Goliath. And on Survivor David Wirth's Goliath, there is a player who's a wrestler who says that he is from... He's the mayor of Slamtown. Yeah. And I think that's how you got there? No. That's two different situations.

[02:18:02] So, you brought up Mayor of Poundtown. Yeah. Separate from... Unrelated? Yeah. There's another player of Survivor that runs a dog pound. Yeah. It was dog-related. Somebody made a comment that I was immediately taking my dog and kids to the pound or something, and I was making a joke. I'm like the mayor of taking to the pound. Man. Town. What a time. What a time to make that joke. But shorten that. Like they shorten Subway to... But I thought maybe it was on their mind because of the mayor's name. They're talking about it in the chat right now. Oh, right now? And that's how I found out about it. Yeah.

[02:18:31] That's still got a long tail. Yeah. Sure does. Dog? Yeah. That's still the nickname. Sorry. Anyway, whenever you're ready. Emma and Conrad are single and ready to mingle. Emma's sister in... All right. You're going to cut that, too. Let's take... What's that? I called you Boingo. That's your name now. I think it sounds better than brain. Boingo? Boingo. Thanks, Boingo. Let's take a break, and we'll come back. I like it. I bet it's better. And it went a little... Boingo. I just said it. It went a little something. Typical Boingo.

[02:19:02] We dress like that. Welcome back, everybody. A classic Boingo. I know. I know. Welcome back, everybody. We're talking about The Way to You today here on Deck the Hallmark. I am Boingo here with my buddy, Brian and Dan. It's time for the hot things we were sharing. Exactly how we felt about this episode. We do not hold back, and I will start with you, Bri. What did you think of The Way to You?

[02:19:34] Thumbs up from Dan. Absolutely. Thumbs up? Did Dan like the movie? Yeah. What? Dan like the movie. I mean... All the more. Dan like the movie. Your tickets here. Cold beer. Ticket guy. Hey, it's your ticket guy here. How are you? Seems about right. Tickets. Ticket guy. Corn dogs. Corn dogs here. Yes. Get your corn dogs. Pass them down. Big dogs here.

[02:20:04] Do you have any... Woof, woof. Big dogs here. Do you have any pizza? Pizza. No, no pizza here. What do you have? I got corn dogs here. You have corn dogs? Cold beer. I got Amstel Light. Amstel Light. What else? Corona. Got Corona here. What else? Corona here. You have a... Nita Meyers Plus. Do you have a... I got Nita Meyers Plus. Do you have a... What was the drink I had at the deck? I got a Tang. Tang. You got a Tang here. Do you got a Miller Lite? I don't have a Miller Lite. No. Can't help you. You have a Tang? A Tang here.

[02:20:33] Juicy juice here. I got your juicy juice. I'll take a juicy juice. Grape cherry. Grape cherry. Pass it down. Pass it down. Take the money. Pass it down. Thank you. $2 short. It's an $8 juicy juice. I'm not covering that. $8 juicy juice. Do you take Venmo? No Venmo here. Pass it back. We all have coins back. Thank you. No juicy juice, huh? Cheeseettes. Who is that? He's back in.

[02:21:03] I think we're good. Ask how much first. All right. It's time for all the feels. We're going to talk about what in this movie we gave us. This feels. Right. Yeah. You alluded to this a couple of times. And this whole movie, all I could think of was that summer sensation that was the I'm looking for a man in finance song. Do you remember this? Obviously, you were kind of singing it. That's all I had in my head this entire movie. You don't know this, Dan? What are you talking about? You don't know this? I've heard of the phrase. Oh, it's this girl. I don't know.

[02:21:32] She was just like this girl. Her name is Megan Bonnie, I think, a.k.a. Girl on Couch is her online name. Shut up. And she was just like, all right, guys, do your best with this. And she just started saying this phrase. And it was, I'm looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. Six five. Blue eyes. And she just kept doing that over and over. And so a bunch of people added beats to it. And it came out really cool. And it was like the song of looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. Six five. Blue eyes. Finance. Six five.

[02:22:02] Blue eyes. Finance. And she's over. And it was. And so the whole movie. And they even said a few times, man in finance. And it really added to it. So that was my feels. Man, I didn't see that coming. Yeah, it was good. That was really good. I really liked that. I just, you know, I've never seen. Gilmore Girls season one, episodes eight and nine, February 11th, 2026. What about this? Can we get to 50 reviews in five weeks?

[02:22:31] Oh, easily. 50 and five. 50 and five. I love that. I won't talk about the number for five weeks. Let's not talk about any reviews until then. Yeah. I mean, we could read a couple of the older ones, maybe. Maybe. But none of the new ones. Like this one from Lobby Crush. Lobby Crush? Have there already been podcasts where straight guys watch Gilmore Girls for the first time? Sure. Yeah. But not with these straight men, namely Bran, who's actually a Gilmore Girls fan. Not all straight men have done it. Alongside Chad from Christmas Cousins. Got us all.

[02:22:59] Their takes are entertaining and the theme music is appropriately Sam Phillips-esque. Thank you. Wow. Someone understands. Thank you, Lobby Crush. Sam Phillips is who does all the Gilmore Girls. Shout out. Not there's going to be negative reviews. No. No. Are you kidding me? It's all fives. All fives. Beautiful. Love it. Yeah. And the thing is this, is that we need to do this show because you're right. Not all straight guys have yet done a podcast on the Gilmore Girls. And we won't rest. That's right. Until all straight guys do.

[02:23:25] Like it's not enough for me to only see Chad when he's selling me a nasal device to clear my congestion or an Amex Platinum. I need to see him just as Chad. Well, and I'm happy that your daughter got the tutoring that she needed. That's right. And it's been really good for her. Yeah. That guy's very busy. Yeah. Whatever you guys are referencing, no one even knows at this point. So I don't think that's this Chad. It's someone else. Chad refuses to take credit. Yeah. It's a different Chad. A different Chad altogether.

[02:23:54] I thought it was very sus that Max was just in town getting his car worked on. You know, so that was interesting that he showed up there. Best mechanics are in Stars Hollow. That's what I've always said. You go to a small town where somebody doesn't know you to work on your car. That's the key. You know what I mean? That's right. Open at night in a snowstorm. Those are the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They will never rip you off. Right. Don't look up if they're selling out of the back at all. So both of them. I was suggesting next time I'm down there, the three of us sleep overnight on beanbags

[02:24:24] just to get some research. I want to see if we sleep through the night. And I think the three of us, we're all young bucks. It wouldn't bother us. We can sleep anywhere. I can sleep. I know I can sleep anywhere. I don't have to. I don't need my own pillow. No. I don't need. We'll dance first for a few hours. Yeah. I don't need my Tempur-Pedic mattress. I can sleep on this floor. I can sleep on this table. A beanbag chair would not mess me up for weeks. No. No. I'd be fine the next day. Great night's sleep. Hang on. I'm just Googling Greenville chiropractors. Excuse me, gentlemen. Oh, there's one nearby. We're good. Okay.

[02:24:54] Okay. I think we have to. Yeah. I have a natural delay even when I was there saying that. That's true. We don't want it to feel any different. We want it to be all feelings. It's time for the way. We're talking about what? We called it a natural delay. It's a natural. This is an unnatural one here, but that was a natural. It was organic. It was organic. It was organic. It was organic grass-fed delay. Time-space. That's right. That's right. That's right. Okay. Let's get to the wait-what. Shad, what in these two episodes made you go wait-what? Major wait-what.

[02:25:25] Emily is eating pizza. She is rich. She's not an alien. She grew up in America. Yes. And she acts like she's never eaten pizza. Even at a fancy restaurant? There's no world. Right. At some point, she's had pizza. And I mean, I've met rich people. I know Joe, the Christmas officiant. I was very lonely. I've seen him eat pizza with his hands. He loves it. And she is completely unfamiliar with Parmesan as a topping. Where is- Fresh Parmesan. So it wasn't out of the bag. It wasn't the shreds from the Publix.

[02:25:54] Like, it was an actual block of Parmesan being shredded like you were at an Italian restaurant. Yes. Yes. So how can she relate to Lorelai if she can't relate to eating pizza like a normal person? I mean, that's the big question. And also, since we're on the pizza topic- I would- It was- What you don't know is she actually didn't leave her parents because she got pregnant. She left because they didn't do the frozen pizza. They didn't do pizza. She found out about pizza and she was like, I'm out of here. I'm going to go eat as much pizza as possible because- 16 years.

[02:26:22] For 16 years, I haven't had pizza. I'm not here to tell you that Parmesan cheese can't work miracles. But Emily went from saying it was disgusting to saying it was amazing because of Parmesan cheese. What was in that Parmesan cheese? That is an absolute game changer. And I expect in future episodes, Emily tailgating, trying all American foods, burgers, everything you can eat with your hands. You know, I'm not a frozen pizza guy. I just am not.

[02:26:51] But over the winter apocalypse that we had, we weren't leaving the house. I got a Costco cheese pizza and I churched it up. I did it exactly like I got pepperoni, banana peppers, cherry peppers. I put a little spicy cheese on there. I put some Italian seasoning, some crushed red peppers. And it was almost edible. I mean, it was borderline decent. Really? Did you eat with a fork? No, I ate it with my hands. Yeah. That's bad. I'm a red-blooded American. That's right. What? Can you imagine a fork and knifing a frozen pizza? Frozen pizza?

[02:27:20] Like sometimes, you know, at certain places, you got to at least start with a fork and knife and then you work your way to the hand. But if the deep dish comes out piping hot, you got to give it up. That's why I use chopsticks with pizza, just because it's kind of in between. That's the key. Yeah. It's not weird. I know you've been pushing that for a while. Yeah. I know. Slice right up. Exactly. Tinseltown, February 13th, 2026. Hi, I'm Brian and I wish Christmas movie. Dear God.

[02:27:49] I'm Dan and I despise a little British Christmas movie. I'm Alonzo and I tackled a Christmas tree. And this is the Get the War podcast. And you know what? I appreciate that Kiefer jumped on a Christmas tree. Like he did back in 2005. I don't know how what he does does everything else.

[02:28:16] He jumps on the Christmas tree and then it knocks out the entire power for the entire town square, which is amazing to me. Even though he literally just took a giant candy cane and smashed it on the soundboard. Nothing happens there. Sound keeps working, in fact. But you jump on a Christmas tree nearby. If your entire grid goes down because one Christmas tree gets tackled, it's a bad grid. You've got problems. You should get that. One bulb burns out and the whole thing goes. The whole town goes.

[02:28:44] The entire town was connected to that tree. And the bulb went out and what can you do? Dano? Wind Calls the Heart, Season 13, Episode 6, February 14th, 2026. Christians like notoriously thought Freud was there to ruin the church. Like in the 1920s. Right. Notoriously were like stay away at all. It was like how Christians thought of Kid Rock in the 90s. Sure. It was like they thought that Freud was going to be the end of.

[02:29:14] The amount of times I've thought about Freud and then Kid Rock. And Kid Rock in the same sentence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many sentences. They must look like your mother. What the heck, dude? That was, you know what? No, we're done. We're going to break. You're not even going to finish your point. That's crazy. And I've muted you too. I've muted you as well. It's time for the wait what. So we're talking about what? And this episode made us go, wait, what?

[02:29:44] Jax? This isn't a funny one. All right, fine. I'll unmute you. Jax, you were going to say something about a possible queer character. And we just got off on a big sidetrack about how Kid Rock's luscious locks look like. I don't think we're getting it. No, you're back to muted. I gave you a chance. Move on. Jax, you go. There's no way we're getting a queer character. Okay. There's no way. Sorry. No, I actually don't think. Oh, my God. He is muted.

[02:30:14] Yeah. I love it. I love it. All right. Here we go. I call a locker room a tackle room. You, I guess, I guess you could call it a tackle room. Yes. But Lee also calls the fishing spot his honey hole. Yeah. Nobody, nobody was going to bring that up. We're just going to let that slide. Like that's a normal thing to say. Gallon leaves the, the, all the equipment here. And this is my special honey hole.

[02:30:43] What are you talking about? Now, is that the same thing as a glory hole? I, I think it's, he's talking to a minor. I'm pretty sure it's just where he fishes, but what is he talking about? This is one of my, he doesn't say singular either. He says it's one of my favorite honey holes. What are you talking about? Do you think, does Gallon have multiple, uh, honey holes set up across the forest? Yeah.

[02:31:13] I thought, I think he's got honey holes everywhere. What are we doing? One of them is coming back next season. Um, I'll say this though. I'll say this. Turns out, turns out I'll just leave you to it. Uh, Dan, where's your favorite honey hole? It'll cost you $300,000 to find out. Uh, I just applaud you for not bringing back up my mom.

[02:31:43] I really appreciate it. Really appreciate it. Cause I would have been the rest of the episode. You did it, Fran. That would have been messed up, man. But you did. I'm saying, but I'm happy. But you did. Yeah, but I. Why would I do that? That's disgusting. Cause you, um, you're pretty much. Continuing to be excited by my girl, Gwen.

[02:32:09] And look, I'm excited with whatever's going on with Fernando and Edie and Lucas. You know, I said they wouldn't do a queer character, but I, I didn't say anything about Polly. And I think Fernando and Lucas had some chemistry. Not that they would be together, but I don't, I don't think they would mind being in the same room. If you catch my dress. It's like, it's, I don't even know. By this point in the episode, we have.

[02:32:37] If this is the last week I thought was the filthiest thing we'd ever. This is now the filthiest episode we've ever done. And Brad, I like how you said, don't get your drift, but it was more like, I refuse to catch your drift. Cause I see that you could catch it, but you've decided not to. Do you know how many people have written in saying they listen to this show with their kids? So many people. And every week on When Calls the Heart, we're like, what about the honey hole? I. Like those cartoons. So that make all those jokes, but you don't really get them.

[02:33:07] What are you talking about? You know, like all those sophisticated cartoons where like the joke over the kids' heads. Are you having a problem understanding cartoons, Jax? What are you talking about? You know those things. You know those sophisticated jokes. Like how in Aladdin, he's like, take off your luck. He doesn't say that. He doesn't say that. Oh, that's an urban legend, huh? Captain America. February 16th, 2026. Hi everybody. How are we? What's up, man?

[02:33:37] Doing all right? No. You're not? This is kind of sad. What are we? What? Is this mid-Feb? Late Feb? I don't know. We're almost done with Marvel Mondays. We're almost done with Marvel Mondays? No. This is only the fifth one. We've got 30. I thought there were like seven of these. There's like 36 or 37. Yeah. No, we got a long way to go. What? Yeah, all year now. I don't know if I want to do that. Okay. Well, then sit a few plays out. I can do that? Yeah, right guy and I'll take it. Use your skip on Marvel movies.

[02:34:08] You only get one, though. I only get one skip? You only get one skip and you should have used it on Love on the Amazon. You didn't. And now we're here. Yeah. Right. For a million dollars. Here we go. Tagline of this movie. Go. Skinny guy gets muscles. Is this their first Avenger? Like, is that what you're looking for? Like the subtitle? No, no. There's like a little. Oh, there's actually a tagline? Yeah. Red, white, and blue.

[02:34:38] Time to avenge. No. Assemble. We are looking for. Now, this is according to IMDb, but when patriots become heroes. There's no way that was on any movie poster. That was never in any advertising. There's no world. I don't. That's just what IMDb says. Somebody made that up. Patriots become heroes. I want to know. I mean, when patriots become heroes, I don't know what to tell you. You know that classic Captain America tagline, when patriots become heroes? When patriots become heroes.

[02:35:12] I had this thought, Dan, and you're going to hate it, but him and Red Skull are kind of going at it. And Captain America gets back up, and Red Skull goes, you just don't give up, do you? Yeah. And I was like, imagine if that was Jim Carrey. There was a scotch of Jim Carrey in the delivery. I would love this movie. Oh, listen. And imagine Jim Carrey as Red Skull. Okay. Okay. Great. Jim Carrey is a super gifted actor. He said, you don't give up, do you?

[02:35:42] Yeah. And I was like, oh. Okay. Somebody. Okay. Imagine Jim Carrey. And then that was the rest of my night. So that was my feeling. That was the rest of your night? That was the rest of my night. Are you okay, bro? Yeah. I was just thinking about it. I just photoshopped Jim Carrey's face, Red. Get the magic off the screen. I got the magic. Yeah. Yeah. I want to shout out the score of this because Cupid, February 17th, 2026. I always say he used to be a lot of fun. He used to be. Not so much.

[02:36:11] We used to be able to go to the movie together, get corn at night. Oh, I would have dominated some popcorn in the late night. Now, we guys, we went to Mimics. We went to Mimics. Oh, heck yeah. And Dan just straight out refused. Brian. We passed. Brian bought the corn. We passed it in front of Dan the whole thing. Brian ate popcorn at Mimics. Brian bought the corn. I'm in a movie. I'm celebrating. There's nothing you can do. His hands are tied. We're celebrating a friend. You could talk me into it in retrospect for next time. We could have. I didn't know we could have talked you. You could have talked me into it. Were you sneaking corn?

[02:36:41] Well, because we saw it at 720, right? 725, yeah. So in theory, like you could eat corn. You could have eaten corn until like 8 and just push the window. Push the window. Yeah. Well, no, it's not. You can't push a window in IF that the math doesn't work because you've lost your window. You take a day. But it's not about IF. It's about, I bet I could eat corn early and still give me my full two hours before I go to bed. I just don't want to eat anything two hours before I go to bed. Well, sure. Just stay up until 10. You're going to go home from the movie. You went home from the movie and went to bed?

[02:37:10] Right to bed? Dude, you were pretty scared. You were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's late. It's dark. I know. That movie. I was nervous. I didn't let it all show, but yeah, I was a little scared. You let it show. Oh, I did? Okay. You did. When you jumped? When you squealed? I was at an itch. You had an itch. Yeah. Got it. Some time to figure out what the note card act, like what are these ingredients? Because it's like, you know, medieval, not medieval.

[02:37:40] Greek mythology stuff. It's medieval. Also is another way to say it. Very similar. One thousands of years old. One hundred. It doesn't. But they do. And they start to hand it out to people to drink. It's great, medieval. Some of them. The feudal system for Zeus. I don't need it. Dan, I don't need it today. Not today. Nike runs a marathon for the fiefdom. He knew that. Some of them, when they drink it, they fall right out of love.

[02:38:10] But some of them jolts. Because they were riffs. Stand for the love of God. Mythology. Let me get through this. Gosh. He set his limit. I'm at my limit. Bucks. We're going to come out. We're going to break down because of Cupid.

[02:38:38] We're all taking vows of Cupid juice. Just like they did in the medieval days. Guys, it is the season of love. It's love you wearing. And I feel none of it. We're doing this out of love. I feel none of it from you guys. Oh, man. That's good stuff. Y'all are. Yeah. Grinding my gears. It's time for... Dan, we were watching this movie together. And... Did you guys fall in love?

[02:39:09] We did. We were already in love. Let's be honest. We love each other. Despite how mean he was to me in the first time. It's a medieval love. It's a mid-love. The great Aphrodite in medieval times. Sure. You misspeak one time in eight years. And everyone holds it against you. That's what we have now. That's right. And all we can do is we can't go back. What we have at this moment. We can't go back to medieval times. That's right. So that was just the...

[02:39:39] Gosh, I wish we could. Big old turkey leg. What if we went to medieval times? Did a show from there? Oh, you think? Do it live? From the stands? It's a big turkey leg. I think they have them at medieval times. Renonissance. Medieval times brings you a whole vat of stew. That's true. Yeah. I've never been to medieval times. I haven't either. It might be fun, though. You think so? Pod. Watch pot. No silverware? Just out there eating turkey legs and vat of... Vat of stew. Vat of stew. Vat of stew. The way God intended. Huh. How much did that cost, I wonder? God didn't give us silverware.

[02:40:08] That's true. He gave us fingies. Oh, my God. That's what they're for. Oh, my God, indeed. Yes, he did. Won't he do it? Dan, dang, nothing special. Kind of used to it. You and I, we're going to be back tomorrow with some Gilmore Girls. That went close to heart. Yeah. Then Christmas fun. It's going to be a lot of fun. So come on back for that. Until next time, I'm going to be the first to wish you a man. Double down. Double down. You're going to break him.

[02:40:37] I think he needs a minute. You saw me heading out, right? You saw where I was going. I saw where this was going, yeah. Just kind of rolling with it. All right. I thought of it in that moment. You see that. I wasn't trying to be mean. It's not what I see. I thought about it in the very moment. I felt personal. I need to update this. Yeah. I do have my keyboard though. So just pick one and I'll put it on here. Pick one? Yeah. Because I don't know.

[02:41:06] I don't know who we've done the past two weeks. Gilmore Girls. Season one, episodes 10 and 11, February 18th, 2026. The total lack of control. Laura Liespark kissing Max in the classroom on parents day. Give me a break. Max may be hot. He's not that hot. You know what I mean? So that's it. I don't know. Clip that right there. Right? If you find yourself at parents day at Chilton alone with Max Van Dine in the classroom. You know, things are going to happen. You're telling me. You know what I mean? You're telling me. Okay.

[02:41:36] Fair enough. I know it's an unbelievable scenario to find yourself in, but here we are. I have though, which is weird. It's crazy. Yeah. It's so weird. Yeah. Strange things happen. There was also the children's gossip mill. Literally. Now remember, there are no text chats going on. It's impressive. It's impressive. Within five minutes of Paris seeing the parents kiss, it spread all over the school. Just wildfire gossip. It was wild. The good old days, right?

[02:42:06] Yeah. Right. We would spread fake. Now you just do one group text. You think everyone will know. I know. Even the hard way. We used to really have to work to bully kids, right? Nowadays, you can do it from the comfort of a phone. The safety behind a screen. Back in the day. Good old days. Yes. To spread the rumors. You know what? Let's go back to those days. It took effort. You know? Kids have to learn. You didn't really think about it. You had to really put some... Teenagers gossip again. The old-fashioned way. That's exactly right. That's right.

[02:42:36] In person. Where there's ramifications, they can get punched. Make gossiping hard again. Right. There you go. So that's it. Those were my wait what's. It was boom mics, dirty skates, and gossip. Dude, I saw them live. They were unbelievable. So good. Oh my gosh. I love their acoustic set in the middle. Oh yeah, in the middle. Yeah. I heard that Jenks might leave. Really? Really? Jenks might leave. He says that. Come on. It's the fight with Snarf. Yeah, it was the fight. It was. Snarf's fault. Yeah. You think so? That's crazy. Wow.

[02:43:06] That is a take. We'll take this off. I don't even know if we can continue. We'll take this off. Okay. Justice for Jenks. Justice for Snarf. Right. I gotta, you know, I clearly I love Luke. Yeah, I can tell. It's not a secret. But I did get a kick out of him saying this line. And, you know, excuse my French. Why the hell would someone celebrate Christmas two weeks early? I mean, wait, wait.

[02:43:35] You got it, Luke. Wait until he finds out what Hallmark Channel does in October. On Labor Day. And in July. And Labor Day weekend. Wait. Yeah. Wait until. And every Friday night. Yeah. And every Friday night. All year long. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's wild. Wait. He's just gonna hurt him. When Calls the Heart. Season 13. Episode 7. February 19th. 2026. I'm great. I'm great. I am. You were in Florida. I was. What were you doing?

[02:44:05] You were at Mar-a-Lago? What were you doing? Oh, my God. God. God. No. What? We can't have fun here. We can't have fun here. Oh, no. It's just awkward because I wasn't Mar-a-Lago. I heard about the people you were hanging out with. Oh, listen. Yeah, no. No, I wasn't. Jax, my parent, my dad said, Jax, doing the chicken tender commercial during the decus was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

[02:44:36] Now, I will say. He was like, it was so disturbing. For those that. The sauce all over her face. I need to respond to Pete up. It was so. I was going to say is, for those that are not up to date, we had a whole incident with PETA and Jax. We decided to do a funny video. It was funny. It was funny. For the decus where we basically like caught Jax actually being a big fan of chicken, which

[02:45:04] by the way, you were eating not real chicken in the video. In the video. That is genuine. Yes. I mean, I don't know if we're bit on bit on bit. No, no, no. No, no, no. We're doing it. You said that in the video, it's real chicken. You're like, I don't want. But that's not real chicken. No, it's fake chicken tenders. But, Jax, you gave me so much footage to work with and I appreciate it. Of course. And I used most of it because it's really good. But there was one part of it in particular that I went back and forth on and whether or not

[02:45:34] I should include it, which was you eating food that you had already spit out. Disgusting. I think that was what got my dad. I feel like that was probably upsetting to yourself. Oh, man. That was tough for me to watch. It was upsetting to me. In the best way possible. You crushed it. But I felt like it really made you so darn unlikable in that part. That you were re-eating the killed chicken. Yeah. It was like another level. That you had said you had made your B word.

[02:46:00] You know, honestly, it really descended into a crazy place. But if you have any- This was lamenting her life and you see, you turn and it's LJ and Lily and they're just staring up. I thought that was great acting by both of them, even though it's just the look. It was very funny. Thanks, Jax. No, I appreciate it. I thought that was- It was wonderful, LJ. I thought that was some of my finest work. Findest work? I found it. Yeah. And I put it on screen.

[02:46:29] How do you feel about Bran leaving you completely out of the- I get it. The synopsis. You get it. I get it. Interesting. It was worth the- No, I- It was worth- Your plotline was worth this? No, I pushed back against it pretty heavily. I thought that I should have been in the berries. He also left out the entire- I had a whole- Dan, if you don't mind. Okay, I don't mind. If you don't mind. Yeah, whatever. Let's do it. I had a whole storyline that I pitched to the writers where I'm in the berries, I fall down, I fall underneath the berries. Underneath the berries?

[02:46:58] Yes, it's a really big tub. Yeah, yeah. I'm a small boy. Yes. I fall underneath the berries. You guys remember how good I was at all- And look at the camera's still on, Bran. No, it's not. It's not. They can't see it. Yeah, all they see is actually full you, Jax, right now. Oh, God. Good Lord. I'm not giving anything. Okay, I'm sorry, everybody. How about this one? Okay, now it's Dan and Jax. Yeah, it's both of us now, Jax. Okay, so I fall underneath the berries. Yeah. You guys remember a couple of seasons ago where I almost died? Yeah, Nathan carries you out lifeless from the forest.

[02:47:28] Yes, yes. My best work. Thank you, Jax. Yes. Your best work was playing dead? 100%. Great. Not everybody can do it. They said you couldn't. That's the way you did it. They said you couldn't play dead, and you did it. So I said, writers, let LJ cook. Push me underneath those berries until I almost die. Let's have you a kikiru cook in berries. Someone has to save me. I'm covered in berries head to toe. Yeah. They have to get me to the infirmary.

[02:47:58] Still berries everywhere. That's probably not good for the diabetes either. Right. You ingest some of the sugar there. But then we find out Faith is allergic to berries. Faith is allergic to berries? Faith is allergic to berries. Dan, I was actually thinking the opposite of that storyline, that he gets submerged in berries, and they think it's bad, but then they realize his blood sugar was low, so it actually helps him survive. And they just jam him underneath all the berries. Exactly. I'll pitch that. Yeah. You guys like that idea? Yeah. His insulin's low. I do. Quick.

[02:48:27] Where's the vat of berries? You always got to keep one handy. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, LJ. All right. Love you guys. Thanks, Jackaroo. Yeah. Jackaroo. Okay. Thanks. Jackaroo's apparently the other nickname. Thanks, Jack. Jack's a roo. Yes, of course. Thanks, Jack's a roo. Jack's a roo. Look at that. Yeah. Sweet, sweet boy. And then my other, my. The wind. This was great. This is, all right, I want to be very clear.

[02:48:57] This is supposed to be romantic. Wow. The wind blows her hat off. That's right. And he says, and I didn't help you so that I could watch you chase the hat. I'm sorry, Norman Bates. You did what again? What's the read I'm supposed to get from this? What am I?

[02:49:25] What's the romantic part of this? This man has never seen a pair of breasts jiggle before. This is his first time. What in the house is it, Jack? He's running away from him. So I don't know if the breast jiggling is in play. Well, but the hat, you see the hat in the wind. It goes there. It goes there. He's watching her run away, and who can blame him? Thank you. And then she's coming back, and he's like, I've never seen this before. And so I want to be very clear.

[02:49:55] This guy on his first date, this woman, her hat, she's dressed to the nines. Her hat gets blown away, and she is running probably in a very nice outfit with shoes that aren't made for running. He is like running, trying to catch up with his hat. The wind blows it as she bends down to pick it up, and he is standing still as a statue watching her look like a fool.

[02:50:23] And that is, and he's decided in his jar of memories for her, he could have kept that to himself. He could have just put that one away in the bank and been like, oh, I bet he has. Which bank, Frank? Yeah, I know. Which bank? I know. We're not doing it. I'm just saying. And then what does that say about what turns him on, that that's in his bank? That, like, this is a first date, and this woman is flailing about trying to get a hat.

[02:50:52] And then he decides, I'm going to give this to you as a romantic gesture. If I'm her, I'm like, you could have helped me? Like, I was just, I assumed you were helping me, and I got to the hat first. I just want the video of Ned being like, yeah. Oh, yeah, get that hat, girl. Like, what in the world? I can't believe. Dan, you're doing a lot of judgment right now for somebody who, when we first met,

[02:51:19] you let my dog go on purpose so you could watch me run and grab him. For real? Yeah. Oh, God, no. It's a lie. When we first met, he didn't even have a dog. It was a lie. This is the weirdest of all the ways for Ned. There's so many things Ned could have done to be like, I remember this about our experience and our relationship together. When he did that, I just was like, dude, at the best version of this, is you're a freak and you think it's normal.

[02:51:47] The best version of this is you think everyone does this. Everyone sees someone struggle and doesn't help them immediately. On a first date, no less. Like, when would you be more apt to be like, oh, my God, your hat fell off. I got to go. Like, that's your natural instinct. Ned's natural instinct is to be like, let me see how this plays out. What in the world, Ned? He was aroused, brother. That's clear. And then since we're having a...

[02:52:17] Since we're having a... Unexpected Christmas. Not that one. February 20th, 2026. Hi, I'm Brandon. I love stars. Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise stars. Christmas movies. I'm Alonzo and I'm lonely. This is the Tech Nullmart Podcast. I'm lonely. Somewhere we do. Oh, first try. There we go. This is Brian waiting on Scott to text him a compliment.

[02:52:47] This is how I feel. I'm lonely. Ha! All right. Let's talk unexpected. Such a mixed bag. Um, because on the one hand, like, terrific casting, you know, Lil Rel Howery, Dominique Perry, the great Anna Maria Horsford. Um, she goes, go to her IMDb page and pack a lunch. Don't give me that look. What's great is no one else can see you. Right now, you are full screen.

[02:53:17] No one can see us do our thing. They're doing their little look. Like, oh, I'm going to open this thing again. I don't know what you're talking about, Alonzo. We would never. There's a bunch of, like, TGIF sitcoms that you guys grew up on. So don't even, don't start with me. Anyway, so, like, you know, good stuff. Dano? Yeah, I know that Lil Rel Howery's character Richard is hiding something.

[02:53:42] But he seems shocked that the woman he's laying in bed with and they're wearing matching pajamas and living together wants to know how to define their relationship. Uh, you should, no one should be less surprised if you, A, live in the same space and, B, wear matching pajamas in your queen size bed. No excuse there. You've got to at least have an answer locked and loaded in the chamber, buddy.

[02:54:11] Matching pajamas is a relationship level unto itself. Yeah, yeah, that's, that is actually above exclusive. Like, if you, if you got, like, exclusive is dating. We've got to lock down. It's like, you're seeing each other dating, exclusive. It's complicated. Matching PJs and then engaged. You can't, like, you just can't sit there. It's the promise ring of sleep with. That's right. You can't possibly be like, uh, ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba. You cannot be backpedaling and scrambling. Where is this coming from?

[02:54:41] Yeah, I don't know how you got it. That's where it's coming from. Matching pajamas in bed together. Uh, the Avengers. February 23rd, 2026. Hi, I'm Brian and Avengers assemble. Doesn't leave a lot for me, but hi, I'm Ryan and Avengers assemble. I'm Dan, Avengers assemble. Yeah, yeah. Formal invitation. Yeah, okay.

[02:55:11] Yeah, you guys are still in groomsmen running. Okay, all right. Let's listen. Yeah. This is as much as we can hope for. What do we got to do to lock it up? Sweet in the pot. Like, what, is there anything we can do? I'm just telling you right now, if we're groomsmen. You want to buy me a pair of rollerblades? Yeah, absolutely. If we're groomsmen and we got to be up there the whole Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It's a big commitment. I'm going up there Thursday and I'm doing all of the different Connecticut pizza so I can give my informed opinion. Oh, wow. I'm coming up. That should maybe happen anyway. I'm coming up early and I'm doing, I'm literally, yeah.

[02:55:38] Or if we're groomsmen and we get to be at a bachelor party, I'm definitely going to come up and I'm going to. You guys are on the bachelor party list. I'm coming up to do the tour. I mean, obviously yours is the most important, but just under that is the tour of the pizza. I'm having a dance. The Salis and the Pepe's and the pizza. We just went to Salis the other day. Okay. See, that's what I'm doing. I'm here for all of that pizza and I want to get my, because I hear one more person from Connecticut tell me they have the best pizza. I just need to taste it all. I want to, I want to go. I don't want to taste it all. I don't want to give my, give my opinion. Brandon, we also have really good shawarma here.

[02:56:08] Oh, big shawarma. Oh, shawarma. Like they get at the end of, what movie is that? The Avengers. God almighty. Oh, that's right. They do the funny thing with this warm run and stuff. I tried. We both did so hard. Uh, the Avengers. We're locked in though on the team. I just wanted to. The Rippers. Yeah. Yeah. What really? I know. Jesse and the LA Rippers. Really quickly. What was it? It's even, even Black. He's in Thor. He's in Thor.

[02:56:38] When? He's literally guarding the thing with the, the, the hammer. He's in it for about. So that's one of my weight. He's only in it for about 10 minutes. Somebody got mad at you for not mentioning him in your synopsis. I totally missed it. No, he's in there for 10 full minutes. Okay. Remember when Thor's like in the tent thing. Yeah. He's fighting all those dudes. Yeah. I don't know. Should I take him out? He's at the top of like a, of a, of a perch. Like right. This is why I shouldn't talk about this. I care so little. I mean, it's not blank and you miss it.

[02:57:07] He's, but he's also not in it. He's in it for a couple of scenes, but he's in it. It's a pretty, I mean like. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a egregious that you didn't realize it. Yeah. He's definitely a part of the movie. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. Well, good to see him again. Uh, my feels. That's so funny that I missed Hawkeye and Thor. I mean, it's yeah. You should have definitely called him. It might be more like seven minutes. No, stop it. Right guy. He's under 10 minutes. If you wanted any proof that I cared so little about the action of that movie.

[02:57:37] I only cared about Thor and Natalie Portman. There's the proof. Yeah. I honestly, I tuned out. You remember him kicking all those dudes. But 100%. I didn't care. The whole time they keep going back to Hawkeye. Who's up there going. He's talking to Colson and, uh, missed it on the calm. And he's like, should I tell you about him? They never label him as Hawkeye brand to be fair. But you know what Jeremy Renner looks like. I do. I do know what, I do know what he looks like. Yeah. But if he's not. One of the world's most famous people. If he's not zipping baddies, whatever. He's not zipping. He zipped some baddies, I believe, in the movie, too.

[02:58:07] Does he? I think he might. I think he might shoot an arrow, too. Let's go back to the love story. Those two, those two falling in love is good. Yeah, here he is. He's up there in the rain. He's doing all the. He's just standing up there the whole time. It's like, it's like the pivotal moment of the second act. But yeah. I didn't watch it. I passed. I said. Yes, I'll try to. I'll try to do better. That's a Christmas movie. Iron Man 3. I know. I'll try to do better, guys. You got this. If it's Hawkeye related. You didn't watch Thor with me. If it's.

[02:58:37] I didn't watch this with you. I know. You're right. It's true. You guys are always with me. You probably would have been like, hey, there's Hawkeye. I would definitely have said something about Hawkeye being in there. Or brand like, hey, there's very famous person, Jeremy Renner. That's right. He almost died. I don't know if you heard. Yeah. There's like a guy who's kind of like sketchy on the outside. Jeremy Renner. Apparently he's done some sketchy stuff. So I'll tell you. All right. We're going to be back next week. Stars Between Us. February 24th, 2026. Pre-Eclipse Masquerade Ball.

[02:59:07] That was weird. That was weird. I want to be in the world. That's all you have to say. You didn't say anything else. You guys heard all those words, right? We're not interested in that, right? Guys, we got a. It's a four-day conference. Just five minutes of Eclipse. What should we do? The Eclipse is coming again. Some trivia, maybe? Another totality. Masquerade Ball. Nobody has their kids, right? Everybody's got their nights open. Perfect. I couldn't believe it. Like, you got to do something. Oh, my God. I get you got to do something, but.

[02:59:36] This movie is just a bunch of spin the wheel. Yeah. It's like, what haven't we seen in a while? The only thing this was missing was Sarah Drew needed to plan a party. If for some reason she had to plan the dinner, that would have been it. Yeah. And we'd have had it all. Hey, we're going to all get together. Can you just whip us together? So that was, you know, it speaks for itself.

[02:59:59] You know, the guy who's the big famous astronomy podcast guy, he eats a bite of cake like he's drinking it. I don't know how else to say that, but he's like, I got me a lunar cake. Shoot it back. Why does he? It's cake. Is it? But is it? Have you ever eaten cake like this? He eats cake like he's drinking it. Is it? I don't know. He's like, I got a lunar cake.

[03:00:26] And he goes to bite it and then decides this guy shoots it. Yeah. He shoots it. He scores. That's what he does. He shoots it. I'm actually going to start eating all my desserts that way. Yeah. Shoot them back. Lastly, they kiss and miss Gilmore Girls Season 1, Episodes 12 and 13. February 25th, 2026. It was the first time that I was watching this show and I went, oh, this was a paycheck.

[03:00:54] This was someone wrote a check to someone else so that this band could organically appear in Connecticut. And it was disappointing. It was New York City and they went to New York City for you. I'm sorry. To New York City. I'm sorry. It was like the King's Hawaiian rolls of music. Well, I mean, we would never say anything negative about King's Hawaiian. No, we wouldn't. We wouldn't. Even if we were. We were. I can say whatever I want, but I wouldn't say anything negative about King's Hawaiian.

[03:01:23] We got to talk about the Pop-Tarts. What are we doing, gang? Okay. So. Is she made of money? Rory has friends from school and this was right after she says, I'm going to make a pizza. Ordering pizzas. I'm going to get pizza. She goes in the kitchen. She is putting no less than 10 Pop-Tarts. A dozen Tarts out there. On a plate, spreading them around. Half of them chocolate frosted.

[03:01:52] Half of them not chocolate. Un-frosted. Un-frosted. Naked Tarts lying on the table. And once you take those suckers out of the wrapping, it's just, you know. But also. It's a use it or lose it situation. And they have pizza coming. Pop-Tarts come two and a sleep. Two and a sleep. That's what I understand. Absolutely. And you can go and have breakfast and eat two and a sleep. Some people get the sleeve open and they eat one. And they call it a day.

[03:02:16] She is giving four teenage girls like at least three Pop-Tarts apiece. A piece. With two pizzas coming. And that's living large. Pop-Tarts were like fancy for me. If I got delivery pizza and a Pop-Tart in the same hour, I think I might have spontaneously combusted. I would have been so excited. I mean, she's just like, here. Have three Pop-Tarts and a pizza? Let's go.

[03:02:44] But also, like, no one's picking nude tarts. No one's doing that. Yeah. I mean, you can cut that, Lee, obviously, for later. Like, you know, there's been times where I've been like, hey, I got to lay off the Pop-Tarts. We all know that's not happening. So I'll get the unfrosted ones to make myself feel better. But that goes against everything we know about Lorelei. That's just taking a smaller shovel to dig yourself your grave, you know what I mean? It's just ridiculous. It's ridiculous.

[03:03:13] I mean, we had Pop-Tart o'clock at our office for years. We did, which I've put an end to it. Literal years. 10 a.m. I know. Or 9 a.m. What was it? I've put an end. It was, yeah, it was 10 o'clock. I've put an end. Pop-Tart o'clock. Do you miss it? This made me miss it a lot. Even though I just saw the new Tarts, like I did, there was a part of me that missed it. Nobody's choosing those. That's what you're saying. You can email me. Like, we can dialogue about it. I don't know why you would. That's all I'm saying.

[03:03:39] I don't know of any reason other than tricking yourself to be healthier that you would willingly pick. I'm just of the opinion if you're going to eat a Pop-Tart, eat a Pop-Tart. That's what I'm saying. I can't imagine eating the Pop-Tart and not having the frosting on the outside of it just because, why? What are you proving to whom? It's like having a low-fat ice cream cake. It makes no sense. Go full Pop-Tart. It's like those people that dab the top of the pizza for grease, you know? You know those people?

[03:04:09] And I'm like, unless you think it tastes better that way, Ryan Cook would never. He would never. But unless you think it tastes better that way, you have saved yourself eight calories. You're about to eat a piece of pizza, and you enjoyed it less because of it. What are you doing? And then, sorry, I have really quick. I know we spent a lot of time on Pop-Tart. It's fine. We don't have to be right there. Is Suki not mad?

[03:04:35] I know we've got to be right there. And they are. So shout out to those people. Fun fact, the same guy that whistled on Walk Like an Egyptian whistled on Every Morning Sugar Ray. What a whistler. Really? Yeah. Huh. Producer of both records. What a whistler. Yep. Yeah. I mean, what else has he whistled on? Do we know? It's just those two.

[03:05:03] Sugar Ray didn't want the whistle, and he said, I've only whistled on one other song, and it was Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles. Didn't he do the opening whistle of Thomas the Tank Engine? I cannot confirm or deny it. Okay. I thought it was him. Maybe not. Maybe it's the other guys. Snarf. Snarf. That's right. You got it. Unbelievable. I knew it. Okay. And we do see every little mishap that Lorelei makes. Okay. These notes aren't working. Here's my last one.

[03:05:32] What happened between Dan and Ryan Cook? I mean, where was there a fallout? No, he was a dear friend literally through 10th grade. I think I said 7th, 8th, 9th. There's more 8th, 9th, 10th. And then he moved. He did graduate. Interesting that you say that. He did. Let's get to the bottom of this. His family had moved, and they were trying to keep him at the school. It was a private school, and it wasn't Chilton. But he moved.

[03:06:02] You think Wadsworth knows him? You think Wadsworth would know? I don't think so. Okay. No. But two years younger, too. But he just disappeared. Like, even in the social media age, like. Really? Yeah. Someone we know has to know. Yes, we've got to find him. Dude, he dated a mutual friend of ours who's a bartender at the 07, who I've known for years and years, and they dated. And I asked her, and she was like, I don't know. I haven't heard from him. Really?

[03:06:32] Yeah. Let's make up missing person signs. Yeah. Find the cook. Let's get it going. Ryan Cook. Was it C-O-O-K? C-O-O-K-E. C-O-O-K-E. C-O-O-K-E. C-O-O-K-E. We can start there. I'll just yell his name, see if he turns around. Cook. Cook. Ryan. Right?

[03:07:02] Dude, I remember the day Ryan Cook got his restricted license, and his parents were the opposite of mine, and they just were like, take the van. And we just went out and just did stuff. Like, we just went out driving around. Did you tell your parents about that? Oh, God, no. Absolutely. Of course not. Are you kidding me? I think he was 15. Yeah. Went right to the Bengals concert. We went to Bojangles. Very similar to the Bengals. I mean, that's what you have to tell. Yeah. Yeah. We got into some trouble with Bojangles. Really? What did you guys do at the book? He's serving time? That's all.

[03:07:31] He got Cajun. Maybe he's serving time. Yeah. Find out. I want to find out. It's fascinating. That's a really good one written in the Stars Hollow. Do you remember his license plate number in the van? I don't. That would help. That would help. Yeah. Okay. If anybody knows of anyone in the van. If anybody would know of a friend's license plate from a B. One of yours has BKY in the back. Yeah, it does. I always remember it as Valkyrie. Imagine if we hear from him from this episode. That would be fantastic. Shout out. Dananddeckthehomer.com.

[03:07:59] But don't, guys, don't catfish Dan. Don't do it. This is serious. Don't show up with your fake Ryan Cooks. That would be mean. That's mean-spirited. I'm not welcome to. We were like really, really close too. Good dude. Should I be worried? No. We went to concerts. He was big in the music scene. He played bass for a band. But if he comes back into your life, like, no, maybe. Start the podcast. Yeah. Maybe don't email. Really? I got a good day. I got to pay the bills. Yeah.

[03:08:28] The Cooks are leaving you for someone I've not talked to in 20 minutes. I think you're leaving me for Ryan Cook. Okay. Old friends are the best friends. Old friends are the best friends. Right. Brandon Kaiser? You leaving me for Brandon Kaiser? There's nothing that Brandon Kaiser could say or do that would fix all the things he's done to me. Wow. You know where he is. I do know where he is. That's right. So there's that. New podcast, Brandon Dan, The High School Years, coming out soon. It's going to be fascinating. I'll be hosting that.

[03:08:57] I've actually been friends with another Ryan. It was three. It was two Ryans and me, Ryan Hollingsworth. I know where he is. We still talk. But Hollingsworth doesn't know where Cook is either? No, I should text him. Text him right now. He doesn't know because his dad worked for Michelin. And eighth, he moved to France. So the three of us would hang out in seventh and eighth. And then he moved to France. Wow. You know, and so that was the end of us hanging out. He wouldn't know. He wouldn't know.

[03:09:24] It wasn't for lack of back then, as you were old enough, it was just a matter of how much your parents would allow you. But that, Ryan, I would go to the beach with his family sometimes. He moved back to Columbia, where I'm from. So I'd go down and hang out with him, also a musician. He works for old Stephen Furtick at Elevation. It is. Deep cuts here going on. I get people tuning out. Yeah, I know. Wind Calls the Heart, season 13, episode 8, February 26, 2026.

[03:09:53] Let's do a little recap for the folks at home that maybe aren't watching this season. Because there are many. More than anything we do, we get emails from people that are saying, I don't watch the show, but I love listening to your recaps. People, wow. They love it. And they love you. There's a lot of people that love Jax. We get a lot of people that say, Jax is great. She's making the show more PG-13 every week. Sometimes are. PG-13, like, oh, okay.

[03:10:21] So I'm not making it more, I'm not making it cleaner, like, from R-rated to PG-13. No. You're taking our squeaky clean G-rated show. I am sorry. Are you? You're welcome. Wind Calls the Heart, season 13, episode 8. Powerful stuff. Some of my favorite phrases from that episode are, mega funeral. I'm very worried that these kids are going to be dumber than they already look. Lord, man.

[03:10:50] And the best quote. That was definitely a U-line, right? I didn't say that. And the best quote. White women. Am I right? Forgive me, Pop. Bianca says, speaking of white women, Jax, I love how she has single-handedly dragged this show into a PG-13 rating. Every week, I look forward to what absolutely unhinged things she's going to say, and every week, I love her even more.

[03:11:18] I don't watch Wind Calls the Heart, but I have a vague memory of Bill Avery wearing a Mountie uniform and Jax being all about that. And seeing how disappointing the mysteries were in this season, I thought I should dust off the old drawing tablet and make another illustration for you. It's a drawing based on those dime mystery magazines from the 1930s with Jax and Bill Avery as the stars. Jax, I hope you like it, and I hope this inspires Hallmark to give you your own mystery show.

[03:11:47] Thanks for the years of entertainment. Love, Bianca. Can you open it and hold it up? I sure can. Let's see. Can you zoom in at all? Stop it right now. Yeah, that looks really good. Wait, this is incredible. Wait, will you send this to me? This is- No. I am- Actually, she has to stop. I need to. No, she didn't. She wants it for my saying thing. Oh, man. It also- I had to. I had to push it to PG-13. What'd she say? What did you say? I missed it.

[03:12:17] No. You'll just- You'll hear it in post. It says, Wind Calls the Murder, Two Bone Chilling Tales of Coal and Hope. The Miner's Mega Funeral by Brandon Gray. Hamilton Horrors by Daniel Thompson. Forward by Daniel Pandolf. Rest in peace, obviously. Illustrated by Bianca. Lee! That's like a magazine cover. Bianca, I absolutely adore this. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times. Thank you. I'm sending it to you right now, Jax. Oh, my gosh.

[03:12:47] Thank you, Bianca. Really great. What a great one there. Great one. Good stuff. A Merry Little Mystery, February 27th, 2026. Hi, I'm Bran, and you're on my heart just like a tattoo. I'm Dan. How am I supposed to breathe with no air? I'm Alonzo, and I was promised a mystery, and this is the day to all my guests.

[03:13:13] I mean, you took Tattoo out of the gate, and I had to reach deep in the Rolodex for a second. You did go with the better song. Jordan Sparks song. No air is a better song. Oh. I could have gone with Eighth World Wonder then. You could have gone. I wasn't clear what we were going to do. You could have gone with. Well, those are the only three. I didn't even know the Eighth World Wonder was her. There you go. Why does love always feel like a battlefield? Is that her? Yeah. Like a battlefield? Yeah. All right. We got four. No air is a banger. No air is a banger. But there's Chris Brown.

[03:13:42] Tattoo is the one that I would have told you I knew. Yeah. Chris Brown, though, on no air, and so it's like, what do I do with this song? I still sing it for karaoke sometimes, though. My hands are tied there. There's something that I can do about it. They're not tied. There's literally a sea of songs you could sing that aren't that one. No. It seemed like you're tying your own hands. I did a long time ago. And that's okay if that's what you're into. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's how you, if that's your karaoke king, there's nothing for us to say.

[03:14:12] I only do karaoke tracks for terrible people. That's right. That's my thing. You do R. Kelly and Chris Brown karaoke tracks. Sorry. My in-house editor, Dave White, is reminding me that Eighth World Wonder was by another American Idol contestant, Kimberly Locke. Okay. I don't know any Jordan Sparks. You don't know any? No. We took the only, I was about to say, we took the only two. You don't know, can't live, can't breathe with no air. It's how I feel whenever you ain't there. Sing it with us.

[03:14:42] No air, no air. You got it, Lonzo. We'll put it in post. As Dave will tell you, what I miss in contemporary pop music is staggering. So, you know. And, you know, we all have our blind spots. Our blind spots. Brands is all of cinema before 1992. Yeah. And a good chunk of it has. That's true. That's exactly right. Yeah. Pre-cranks. He doesn't know. He doesn't really know. Pre-cranks. But post-movie pass, come at me, bro.

[03:15:11] I've seen them. I've seen the flicks. This is a big responsibility. Does she even want to do it? Well, she goes for a walk. She thinks about it. She's in. It did not take her very long. You know, this is 74 minutes. Your hands are tied. She's in. She's in. She's in. She's in. I think we're all saying let Jordan Sparks cook. Let Jordan Sparks cook. Let Jordan Sparks. Let the eighth wonder cook.

[03:15:41] You know what I mean, Alonzo? Not her, but yes. But the general idea. Yeah. Holds. Give her some air. That's right. There you go. Let her go about battlefield. You know what I mean? On Hallmark, just like a tattoo. See that? So you go, yeah. See, now we're doing it. Now we're cooking. Let her cook. Tell my heart just like a tattoo. It's time for all the feels.

[03:16:06] One of my feels is late in this movie, Jordan Sparks' two best friends come in and they say to Jordan Sparks' grandma, the article came out, he wrote it, and she's in it. Which all of us that have seen ten of these movies know that what that means. That means that he didn't blow her cover. And when I say all of us, I mean all of us, unless your name is Brandon Gray, who still

[03:16:29] is, who is still, and my feels is legitimately my wonderful, amazing, best buddy in the universe who after 1,200 made-for-TV movies can still be fooled by Mary Little Mystery, even though it was telegraphed so well. He said, I can't believe he wrote the article and out it, or I can't believe he did it. Like, he was in it, guys. He was, I just, not a bit. I was sitting right next to him and I was like, bless your heart.

[03:16:59] I'm not kidding. I thought they did a good job, in my defense. You know, he really wrestled with whether to send it. I wish I could beat you some days. I do. And so I was like, oh, that's interesting. He actually did send it, and then they said that, and so. But anyway, so, okay, so we'll buy the fact that this magazine still matters and people care about it. However, this reporter apparently has written an expose that has stopped a company from

[03:17:28] polluting a river and presumably, like, making everyone around, you know, sick. Incredible. That didn't get him a promotion. No. What's going to get him a promotion is outing a small town secret sand. That's exactly right. That's the stuff. This is because the National Weekly is secretly like a villain publication. They only care about, the water thing got him in trouble, actually. He says, and he says it like it's a Mad Lib.

[03:17:55] He says, you know how important this article is for my whole career? He says that line. You could, he could, there's a world where he could say, hey, this story is really important to me. And he could be telling, and we could get some sort of, like, motivation or empathy. The, he, we're supposed to believe, as you've already articulated, Alonzo, that his entire career as a journalist rests on the shoulders of him outing the candy cane Santa.

[03:18:26] Yes. For whatever little tiny podunk town this is. What you don't know is that his boss is literally the Grinch. Yes. He's like, no more sugar sandals. Get me that candy cane Santa and get me pictures of Spider-Man. People can drink good water now? Get out of my office. Ruin it small town. Ruin it down. Burn it down.

[03:18:54] We, we make fun of this a lot, but there are some movies where it really becomes frighteningly evident and it becomes all the more hilarious. Just, just to fill in folks who, Jordan, if she's tuning in for the first time. In these movies, if you speak, they have to pay you more. That's right. So if you are on camera and not talking, then you just get whatever the flat sort of background rate is. This leads to awkward moments. A hundred dollars a day.

[03:19:22] In certain movies where characters should be talking, but aren't. So in this movie, first we get the charity guild who are not speaking, even though it is a meeting where people are supposed to be coming up with ideas. We get two children. Oh man. Who get silent. It's snow boots who say nothing when they get this gift they love and who say nothing when they are being interviewed about the gift.

[03:19:49] This guy is asking them direct questions and they are not talking. And it's because the director told them not to. And it's just like, oh man. Say thank you. No. I will not. She's walking on the street. This is early on in the movie. And he's like putting a note on a door. Do you remember this? Like, hey, if you don't even remember information. And she, and this house is decorated for Christmas.

[03:20:18] Oh yeah. Okay. And, and, and she says, no one's going to be there. No one has lived there for 30 years. And he says, well, who's keeping up with the house? And she said, the grandkids are trying to figure out what to do if they sell it. And that's all the information that we have there. We've been fixing. Have they been figuring it out for 30 years?

[03:20:42] Have they been decorating that house for Christmas every year for 30 years as they figure out what they're going to do if they sell it? Weird. This family has two traditions. Decorate the house. Don't sell it. That's right. You get it. 30 years. Why? Generations have embraced decorating the house. Also not selling it. We're not selling it. We're not selling it.

[03:21:06] And I thought for sure it was going to come back around and that at the end was going to be like where she had the business. Nah. No, we never hear from it again. No. Like it's just, this is just kind of what it is. Iron Man 3. March 2nd, 2026. Hi, I'm Brandon. I love Marvel Christmas movies. There it is. She took my thing. Yeah, there it is. I'm Ryan and I like Marvel Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I also love Marvel Christmas movies.

[03:21:36] And this is the Deck on my podcast. Yes. It is. However, as I look to my left here, we could do a little, not unboxing, but a haul review if you'd like. I'd love to do a haul review. We haven't done one of those in a while. This is stuff that you've bought off eBay exclusively or? Buy it. Amazon. A few Amazons. A few Amazons. I want to preface this though for anyone listening, especially one person, that January and February, we're into March now, right?

[03:22:06] Of course. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I have crushed it financially this year. Absolutely. Oh boy. I wonder who you're talking to. Absolutely crushed it. You've been working for one week. What are you talking about? You've been crushing it. No, no, no. That's not what I mean. My, although that helps. My credit card bill in the month of January was the lowest it's been since I was 20 something years old. Wow.

[03:22:32] I mean, like we are talking not just, we're talking triple digits. Holy cow. We're talking, yeah. We're talking significantly lower than even my lowest triple. But all things considered, brand to your point. Sure. I'm being more mindful, but I also just think, hey guys, I'm about to be 36 years old. Like this boyish charm thing can't last me forever. I want what? 10 years tops left on this.

[03:23:02] You think you can get away with boyish charm at 46? I mean, really? When do we think I'm going to start to like look older? It's a great question. I do think you've got a genetic component. Italian, you can, I think you can hold onto the youth, the looking young, I think for a while. I mean, I think, I think haircuts still look fresh. The what? The Stitalian-alien. The Stitalian-alien. You know, Rocky Balboa, the Stitalian-alien. Yeah. The famous. Okay.

[03:23:32] So, mention this to you or not. I know I was talking to somebody about it. Dan, you're going to hate this brand. You're going to love it. It's a, uh, the Ben 4 Simbad Jingle All The Way t-shirt. It says Ta-Ta Turtle Man over there. Ta-Ta Turtle Man? It's just, for anyone just listening to the pod, uh, it's just. Come see this shirt. You're going to love this shirt. It's like, I couldn't not get this. You 100% could have not gotten it.

[03:24:01] Like, I mean. Ta-Ta Turtle Man? But, like, it's for anyone just. You don't love this? For anyone just listening. Get out of here, Brian. Brian gets it. Brian gets it. Get out of here, box. Get out of here, box. Uh, for anyone just listening. It's just really a big picture of Sinbad. It's a giant. That's a giant Sinbad. It's hard for me to be mad about a Sinbad shirt. Useful exuberance. I can still pull something like this off. You know? Most 36-year-olds. I would agree. I would agree with what you're saying. Most 36-year-olds cannot pull something like that off, but you 100% can. Thank you. Thank you.

[03:24:31] That actually means a lot. Yeah. You should be proud of yourself. So, I've created a bank account just for dumb purchases, which I think has helped me big time. Well, how do you decide what money you're putting in the dumb purchases account? It's kind of like, you know, you- How the spirit leads. Yeah. Like, you know, yeah. But what's stopping you from seeing something you really want and putting the money in the junk account? Nothing. Well, once I- Nothing, but I mean, that's- I'm a man of valor and honor. Yeah, of course.

[03:25:07] This is Romance at Hope Ranch, March 3rd, 2026. The final love-you-weary flick. A movie that I creased. You sure did. You did. You sure did. Did you give it a- It was a by-default cream. It was a default cream. Yes. Of course, yeah. That's why- This is why preview shows don't matter. Not if you don't put your heart and your soul into it. You're a strategist. It's a terrible strategy. Dan- Okay. Whatever, guys. You just have a different strategy than Brian and I. That's right. And then- It doesn't matter.

[03:25:36] I forgot what I creamed, but I'm sure it was better than- The movie that we all should have creamed is the Subway New York movie. That's the one we should have creamed. And we didn't. Well, I think I did. You did. Wow. Look at you. I'll have to go back and look. I'll have to go back and look. I still have to brag about your creamed. Okay. Okay. No. No. No. That's typical boingo for you there. Typical boingo. So I creamed- We did chicken parms. Of course we did. Of course we did. February. What else would we have done? So I creamed the stars between us. That's unfortunate. Yeah.

[03:26:06] Rye Guy creamed the love potion. None of us creamed the one movie that was good. Yes. And then you did creamed this week. I mean, we don't know yet. We've not given our odds. Maybe it's not. What is not creamed is the top. That's right. That's right. We all do. The creams mean it's not special. Well, that movie is, I believe, it is the most chicken parms. Oh. The Way to You. It's so crazy. That movie is the most chicken parms of the month. We chicken parmed that thing hard. That does mean a lot.

[03:26:36] So you do got to think about that. Winner, winner, chicken parm dinner. Yeah. I don't think I ate one real parm all month, though. Dude. I'm thinking about it. I didn't. I didn't have a parm. Embarrassing. I had a chicken parm sub. That counts. I had a chicken parm sub at Augusta Street Market. Shout out. Shout out. It's the best chicken parm sub in Greenville. It is? It is by far. Holy cow. It's got some, it's vodka sauce, which is really a chicken vodka parm. Sorry about that, guys. Dude. It's amazing. You bleeped that in the post. Augusta Street Market doesn't need my help. They're doing just fine. Okay.

[03:27:05] But it's better than the chicken parm sub we had up in Jersey. It's, I mean, it's real good. That was very mid. Yeah. Every March, the first double-decker to join in March, we let them plan that year's Giddyup Gala. That's true. That is true. I almost forgot about that. As of today, the third, we've not had someone join yet. We haven't had a new member yet. So if you want to plan that Giddyup Gala. That's right. Now's your chance. Get it hailing up. That's right. We don't have anything to do with it. No. Right. Some years. Like Deckey's voting.

[03:27:34] Some years, great. Some years, to be honest. Yeah. Not great. Wish they didn't sign up. Wish they didn't. When Winnipeg planned it. Oh, Winnipeg. The whole family, really. Winna, especially. That year was, I guess the best way to describe it would be weird. It was weird that year. It was weird that year. Because they went really heavy on like the chimpanzees. Yeah.

[03:28:03] And that was an interesting. It was an interesting choice. No horses, only chimps. Only chimps. Yeah. That's exactly right. But that's Winnipeg. That's Winna. That's Winna. Yeah. What better time to do this inspection than the day of the gala? You mean, what kind of gala? It was the giddy-up gala. The giddy-up gala. I got it. When she... When she... This is the giddy-up gala no less than a godforsaken 50 times in this movie. We're going to say it, Brian.

[03:28:35] Let's take a break. We're going to come back. We're going to giddy up. Yeah. With the hot takes and stuff. Here on. Nobody kicked it to me. Here on. Deck the Hallmark. Deck the Hallmark. Deck the Hallmark. Deck the Hallmark. Wrigley, I couldn't help but notice that you're here today. Oh, I got a bag to get on the show these days. You guys are big shots. No. Hoity-toity. No, we're not. Skipping the intro on the YouTubes. That's how it is. We've actually... You're a serious podcast yourself. We stopped doing it. I didn't see any change. We didn't see any change. I didn't see any change.

[03:29:05] People drop off regardless. They drop off no matter. It doesn't matter. A lot of horses in this movie. A lot of horses. Giddy-up. Wrigley, you were telling me, I think it was last week at Fitzy's, about the time that you threw a giddy-up gala. Yes. Yes. How was it? It was okay. We had a lot of people get hurt, but that's okay. We played horse kick. What's horse kick? Well, you know how sometimes you see to get behind a horse.

[03:29:34] They say don't get behind a horse. They say don't do that. And those horses' hind legs can whammo. They're going to get you. We played a game where it was like musical chairs a little bit. Oh, yeah. It was like Pie Face. You know what I'm talking about? I know about Pie Face. So one guy's in the front trying to make the horse mad, and then you take turns walking behind the horse. Man. We thought people was mad before. Wait until they hear this one. So there'd be, and then music goes, and then they switch places? Yeah. And then what? Yeah. That's right. Wow. And then loser gets kicked?

[03:30:04] Loser walks. Maybe. Maybe. That's right. All right, Wrigley. Love you. Shout out. Horses. Shout out to horses. That's right. It's an offensive movie on all fronts. It's offensive to ranchers. It's offensive to daughters. It's offensive to town inspectors. It's offensive to mayors. It's offensive to party planners, which is a group of people I never thought that I would be defending.

[03:30:31] Most importantly, it's offensive to horses who just get a bad go of it in this movie. And at one point, they just disappear, never to be seen of again. This was a tough watch. This movie, Dan, you today brought up Saving the Christmas Ranch from Up TV. Give me Saving the Christmas Ranch every day.

[03:31:00] Coming up, baby. For no other reason than the theme song alone that they had was an absolute banger. This is, I don't know if I've disliked a homework movie as much as this one. I actively disliked it. I disliked everything about it. Oh my God. And that makes me hurt. That makes me hurt hard. Oh my God. So, Dan, tell everybody about how much you liked it. This movie's a banger. I know what your problem is.

[03:31:30] I creamed it for a reason. And the way that she finds out isn't like an email saying, uh-oh, something's gone wrong. Her calendar just says overbooked. Yeah. Yeah. It automatically, like whatever this software is. Calendar process. Put in to her calendar. Overbooked. Overbooked. AI's getting crazy. Uh-oh. She's not seeing.

[03:32:00] I made accident. Sorry. I made accident in my calendar. Uh-oh. The overbooked. And it's like in there like three times. I don't know what happened. It's crazy software that she's using. I love that it like, it makes it seem like it knew what it was doing and it did it on purpose. I knew that I was overbooking. I mean, I'm going to put it in your calendar. It's going to be quite a surprise. You should see the look on her face when I just switched to overbooked. Yeah. In the calendar. And there. Gilmore the Marrier.

[03:32:30] Season one, episodes 14 and 15. March 4th, 2026. And there's one question on everybody's lips. What happened with Ryan Cook? Did any, in the intervening week, has anybody heard from Brad? You said, I said that Ryan Cook was tough to find and I could not find him anywhere. And you would have thought that the entire, you know, the throngs of people that listen to this show would have been able over the course of our calm down would have been court over the course of a week, been able to make some headway on this. Nothing.

[03:33:00] Nothing. I even put out it. I put out an APB on the Christmas cousins with a 47.83 million listeners. Nothing bad. Where is this? Maybe next week. Maybe next week. You never can tell. Cause you might be back in studio next week too. Yeah. We get 50 ratings. We're close. We're getting close. We're getting close. So if you're listening, give us ratings and I get to come back down. It's going to be a lot of fun in person. Who finds Ryan Cook gets an autographed Gilmore the Marrier t-shirt, which we, you know, we don't have, it'd be a one of one. It'd be a one of one.

[03:33:30] We would actually make it on Canva. We would, we would print it out on fourth wall. We'd sign it. Yes. And so would Ryan, right? Would Ryan speak for him. I can't do it. We can't promise that, but yes, he would sign. You know, it's a forgery if there's no E at the end. I'm just saying. That's how you know. In episode 15, Christopher Robbins returns. I'm sorry. Christopher. You know, it's almost like we've been doing this without breaks of a week in between to recover.

[03:33:58] This is not Winnie the Pooh. This is nothing to do with Christopher Robbins. Hundred acre star hollow. That's where we are. The hungry, a hundred acre damn Donna Reed. That's right. Here we go. Suddenly Christopher Robbins comes rolling up, uh, looking for his sweet bear.

[03:34:23] Uh, they film a softball game at the beginning of episode 15 that I can only describe as not a softball game. Uh, they are filming clearly in the rain. It's unfortunate. The bleachers are soaking wet. It's raining behind them. There's two people out on the field, Luke and Dean. You can tell they're miserable out there. I felt bad for them. And then also, if it, even if the skies are clear and the sun's out, what is this softball game?

[03:34:50] Is this an organized thing where adults and children gather together on Saturday morning for a very competitive softball game amidst two teams that aren't good? Is that the way I understand that? Like sometimes it's soggy softball. It's a thing. It's yeah. I got to Google it. That's my problem. I can't decide if it's something that I think Luke would actually be a part of.

[03:35:15] Cause Luke is like grumpy, you know, go, you know, goes to the town hall meetings, but only because, you know, he, he wants to know if there's actual town stuff going on things that the reenactment is done, but also shows up early Saturday morning for softball. Like, I don't know if that's a thing that Luke would actually do. I haven't decided yet. Even though he wears a backward tat. All the time. Religious. He's always ready to catch a ball.

[03:35:45] Wind Calls the Heart, season 13, episode nine, March 5th, 2026. I like to think of myself as a very bargain basement, Miss Rachel. Rachel. Like I adore her. And even the way Miss Rachel talks to kids is like, hi friends. And it's, but it's still genuine. I felt like they were condescending to LJ and it was really weird. But I picked up 100%. I picked up on that. There he is.

[03:36:14] I had a feeling he'd be around this episode. I'll say this. I'll say this. When I got the pages for this, for this episode in particular, your boy, your boy was pumped because for the first time ever, I get an episode basically all to myself. Yes, finally. And then I start frolicking across town and people are like, oh, look at poor little baby Jack. I'm not baby Jack. I'm LJ. Talk to me like a man, please. So you're, by your own admission, you're like 30 years old. That's right.

[03:36:44] Yes, in my 30s. And you look to what you do. I mean. That's right. You get patronized from time to time. All the time. Yes. Were you upset that they brought that onto the screen? Yes. Okay. And I asked them, I asked, I brought a lot of changes to the table read and people didn't like it. Okay. Yeah. What did they say no to, LJ? Well, you know, well, let's say that. So I was fine.

[03:37:11] If they want to, if they want Faith to talk down to me, that's fine. But let me smoke a cigarette. You wanted to smoke a cigarette. Let me smoke a cigarette. Cause that's how I would handle it in real life. Hope Valley, notorious for being the only town in 1921 with no one smoking cigarettes. Trust me, Dan. They wanted to let the child. Not for lack of trying on my part. Okay. Got it. Got it. Thank you for trying to bring that authenticity into it. Absolutely. In between takes, you ripping butts?

[03:37:36] Honestly, sometimes when they're doing my over the shoulders, you might see a little smoke. Wow. A little whisper. If you look close enough. Yeah. Okay. All right. Honey, honey, honey bear. Yes. I think we need to get you one of those nicotine patches and I'm not trying to be judgmental. It's just not great for you, especially at your age. I'm in my thirties. I'm fine. All right. Right. We've been doing it for years and that means that your lungs are. Yeah. It's probably not good for you, but I know it looks cool, but it's just not worth it.

[03:38:05] If I make it to 60, it's a miracle. And I've come to terms with that and you should too, Jax. If I make it to 60, it's a miracle too. No, me. But you know, you for me. Not because. You're going to live long time. Thank you so much. You too. One CBD got me a month. You're going to be fine. You're going to live long time. What are you talking about? Me live long time. I'm going to go. Bye, guys. Bye, LJ. Bye, LJ. This was fine. It was something.

[03:38:34] If it was up to me, Daddy Galen would be the star of this program. And, you know, maybe that happens next year with Abigail coming back into town. Maybe we get more Daddy Galen. Wait, you said, sorry, you said Daddy Galen. And I just thought, wouldn't it be a great to do a remake of Paper Moon with Daddy Galen and Gwen? Or wouldn't that have been a beautiful story? Oh, yeah. Her dad. For sure. Like, she's just Gwen. She's just Gwen. Sorry, you said that.

[03:39:03] I just got excited because the two of them bringing such vulnerability and pathos. Like, pathos. Pathos? Pathos. Big pathos. You know, but Galen's saying, thank you for letting me be a part of this while looking right at the camera. I don't think he did, but in my memory of this scene, he looked right at the camera and said, thank you. For letting me be a part of it. Thank you for letting me be on camera. For being a part of this. I only have one thing, and it has to do with the patriarchy. The fact that... Get in line, girlfriend.

[03:39:33] Cut it and clip it right now. It's perfect. That should be a go-to gif for everyone. I only have one thing, and it has to do with the patriarchy. It's perfect. We'll put it on different merch next year. Oh, yeah. The Christmas Decoy, March 6, 2026. Go to me. Just go to my camera. I will just skip straight to the way it was. I appreciate everybody's opinions a good one. Whatever.

[03:40:02] This guy in this movie delivers the line, that's because you don't know how women think, and then puts a hand up like a chef hand. He does it like this. That's because you don't know how women think. He does that in this movie. The guy that Alonzo said gave a great performance. He's playing an awkward guy, Daniel. That's how... Sometimes... That is one of the worst line deliveries I've ever seen. Ever.

[03:40:31] I can't believe this from Alonzo. I can't. This is a... You know what? That's why watching these is important. Because I didn't see it. You know what? You're surprised every day. You learn something new every day. Yeah, man. We... You know, this is long. It's a long movie. It takes a long time to get into the movie. And once you're in the movie, you're like, why are we in this movie? What's happening here? Why?

[03:41:01] To your point, Alonzo, this might be the least amount of chemistry I've ever seen between two people that are supposed to be in the history of doing the show. It is... There's just nothing there. And the kisses seem to actively hurt them. Yes. Like, it was as if there was some sort of shock that happened. She literally pushes him off of her at one point. So there's that. You know...

[03:41:32] Who here is a real film critic? Hands. Okay. Thank you. All right. He pulled it out. It took eight years, but he finally played it. You're making me. Okay. My opinion matters more. This guy rules. Alonzo played the I'm a film critic card on the Christmas decoy. Christmas decoy. Decoy. Excuse me. You drove me to it. I didn't want to. Does anyone in this hotel work the graveyard shift?

[03:42:02] No. Because normally, you know, sometimes you arrive late at night because your flight got in or whatever, and there's supposed to be somebody at the front desk to check you in. Sometimes you arrive at night, 6 p.m. They wouldn't be there. Yeah. No. Nothing. Like, you got your day shift and we're done. Like, everybody, you can just sit in the lobby and wait until we come back, I guess. But then last but not least, I don't know this for certain. Not 100% sure.

[03:42:31] I have not back sourced it, but I believe that this movie is responsible for the most usages of the word turd in a movie I've ever seen. So congratulations to this movie and their usage of turd, I believe. You did it, everybody. Three times. On three separate occasions, someone calls somebody else a turd. And it's the same character. You know what? I love that. I love that. I love that for us. I love that for him. Dan? It is mentioned, but the kiss in this movie that's on the lips, she closes her mouth so tight.

[03:43:00] And then after about a second and a half, she pushes him off of her like Moses is standing next to her as the tablets are being chiseled. Don't commit adultery. She is, she, like, it looks like a crime's being committed. It's the worst kiss in a Christmas movie I've ever seen because she clearly feels wrong about it the whole time. You should check it out. It's disgusting. And I can't believe that it made the final cut.

[03:43:26] Aside from they clearly didn't want to do a second take with it because it couldn't have gotten worse. Couldn't have gotten worse than that. Really, really bad. The March preview show, seven days into the month, March 7th, 2026. It was before the first new movie. All right. Whatever. What are we doing out of since it's not a real team? That's a great question. I mean, you know. We did chicken parms last month. You know, clovers, St. Paddy's Month. Okay. Chicken parms and clovers. Yeah.

[03:43:56] That makes sense. Could be. Burgers on the grill. Hot dogs. Hot dogs, yeah. It was also March Madness is coming up. March basketball. Buzzer beaters. Buzzel beaters. Buzzel beaters. Buzzel beaters. One out of five buzzel beaters. Anybody? We can't do half a buzzer beater, though. Sure you can. It's a quick one. Whoops. Yeah. It's an ah. Yeah. You missed it. It was a shot at the buzzer, but it missed. Bowls of Lucky Charms. Bowls of Lucky Charms. Yeah.

[03:44:26] I like buzzer beaters. All right. Let's keep that. Half court shots. Half court shots. I like buzzer beaters. Buzzer beaters is good. Buzzel beaters. Because no one will say it. Dan will. Dan won't say it right once. No. Oh. Backspace. I don't want any part of this movie. However, Pasco Hutton and Kevin Smith have good chemistry. Sure. And they had a lot of fun in the first one. And it's for that reason that I will give this a couple of beaters. Two buzzer beaters?

[03:44:56] Really? Two buzzer beaters. Two hands. Wow. Two-handed. Two-handed buzzer. Yeah. Two-hander. Double-handed Nelly. All right. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We will get to our final two movies from March. Here on. Jack the Hallmark. I got it, guys. I am going to cream this movie because I don't want to get stuck. I don't know what's last. And I don't want to get stuck. You're not first.

[03:45:23] With my cream in my hands again because last year it was a mistake. Yes. So I'm going to give this. I do like the pairing as well. Yeah. Two buzzer beaters and a cream. And that way I don't have to worry about whatever you're going to say next. Yeah. Thor The Dark Worlds. March 9th, 2026. Hello, brother. I'm Brandon. I love Hallmark Marvel movie. Hallmark.

[03:45:52] Are you going to start over, dude? Hello, brother. Hello, brother. Hello, brother. Brother. I love Marvel Mondays. Brother. Take my hand. Grasp it. And agree with me that you like Hallmark Marvel Mondays. Brother. Hallmark Marvel Mondays of the pits. And this is the Deck to Hallmark Podcast. Brother. Brother. You know there was two post-credit scenes, right, Brent?

[03:46:21] Honestly, I did not stick around. Wow. You want to tell me about them? They let you skip the credits. They literally, Disney makes it so easy to go straight to them. Do you want to tell me about them? First one sets up more Thanos and Infinity Stones stuff. They bring the Death Stone to him, and they want to hide it in certain places. They want to have two stones in one place. Yeah. And then the second one, just Thor and Natalie Portman make out. Yep. In a post-credit scene. Oh.

[03:46:53] It's starring Natalie Portman. Yeah. The greatest living female actor. Pound for pound, for sure. Pound for pound. This is often... We don't need to get weight involved in this discussion. No, it's a metaphor. What's it a metaphor for? Who is pound for pound the greatest fighter? It has nothing to do with their weight. Very specifically, pound for pound does. It's a weight class. No. That was the whole point of pound for pound, is a lightweight wouldn't fight a heavyweight. Pound for pound.

[03:47:23] That's like when Shaq says Allen Iverson is pound for pound the best basketball player of all time. He's literally talking about weight. Not a metaphor. Pound for pound means pound for pound. No, it's taking weight out of the equation. No, it is not. Yeah, I'll go double for nothing on this, and you got to get me... Double for nothing? Yeah. Right guy. Yeah. I think you're misinterpreting the phrase. No. If Shaq said pound for pound specifically, because if Allen Iverson goes up against him, he's

[03:47:52] just so much bigger than he is. Exactly. Yeah. So what he's saying is, is that per pound, no one's better than the person that weighs because he weighs so little. So you're saying pound for pound Shaq can never be the greatest of all time? I'm saying that when you say pound for pound, you immediately bring size into the equation. That was my whole point. I think I'm right about this one. I'm not. I'm not. This is...

[03:48:21] I'm not getting punked here. All right. Pound for pound, often abbreviated P for P, is a mythical ranking used in combat sports to determine the best fighter regardless of their weight class. So, so you're saying... How do you interpret that? Who's right out of, from that definition? But you brought weight. When you say pound for pound, you're saying... Brian, answer the question. Well, what it seems like is it's saying that it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't matter your pounds.

[03:48:51] So if it doesn't matter your pounds, why do you say it at all? Just say they're the best actor. What does pound for pound mean then? Brian, answer the question. Brian, if pound for pound means... Dan, I didn't write the internet. But why would you, why wouldn't you just say... I said greatest actor and you said pound for pound, greatest actor. What was the clarification for there? It's just, it's just a term used to describe who... The same reason why you would say it in boxing. Yeah. Pound for pound.

[03:49:20] Brian, you still haven't answered the question. You just said it. I honestly, I thought that it meant it was taking weight into the consideration. But off of the definition you just read from the internet, who do you think would be more right, me or Dan? I mean, it sounds like, it sounds a bit like... But why say the phrase? One more for the right guy. All right. So this is, this is often regarded as a bottom tier. The internet just heard you and changed its mind.

[03:49:51] All right. The AI was wrong. His Google AI was... Your one internet definition is right. I read the Google AI one, literally, originally from boxing, where someone might fight in a lower weight class, but have more skill. People would argue who the best boxer was pound for pound, meaning adjusted for weight. That is the actual definition of that phrase. Another one for the Dan man. Go ahead, Ryan, whenever you're ready. That was, that was gimmick infringement if I've ever seen it.

[03:50:21] We can talk about this offline. I can't believe we had this discussion. For a second, I thought I was getting completely gaslit over here. I feel rather vindicated. This is wild. I can debate with the best of them. Pound for pound, I'll say this. Pound for pound, I'm a great debate. Turd. It's turd. Turd. I think it's turd. He's giving it his turd. I'm giving it my turd, actually. I thought about this.

[03:50:50] I'm giving it my turd, and I am putting it last. I am putting it behind the Incredible Hulk. So that's what I got going on here. Dana? Yeah, I saw this. Are you giving it your turd? I'll get there. And I'm here to report back. This is not one of the worst Marvel movies. This is one of the worst movies. This movie is 100% getting my turd. Oh.

[03:51:19] Okay, so I thought of this, and I want full credit for this, for something that I came up with. Oh, my God. Here we go. Low key is low key having more fun than everyone else. All right. First of all, it's a terrible pun. Second of all, he didn't think of it. Third of all, he didn't actually think that that's true. And then I said low key was having more fun than everyone else. And then Brian said, you should say low key. And then Brian says, I'm stealing it. That's what actually happened there. Brian doesn't even like low key in this movie.

[03:51:48] You don't like low key in this movie? True story. I don't. High key, you don't like low key in this movie? He doesn't. High key, I don't care for low key overall. What would you give him on a scale of one to ten? Six? Six? Seven? Seven? Oh, my God. No cap, brother. You guys are so cool. Dan, was that your feel? Pound for pound. That was hilarious. Pound for pound. Yeah, pound for pound it was. You're right.

[03:52:17] Sugar and Vice, March 10th, 2026. Originally premiering on the Hallmark Channel, even though, and a quick reminder for those of you that have forgotten, they still have a mystery channel. Yeah. It's called Hallmark Mystery. It's a real channel. And they don't use it. That really exists, regardless of if they have mysteries to premiere or not. That's not what's important. Right. So. You missed the point. I'm getting lost in the weeds here, and I'm sorry.

[03:52:46] I apologize. I used to think names matter. No. How could you possibly think that this far into this job? March. March. They tour the kitchen. They find out that, you know, like the hors d'oeuvres are going to be cooked. Ord'oeuvres. The windows. You go through the window. Ord'oeuvres are going to be cooked first, leaving the ovens free for the desserts, because they're all going to be sharing the space.

[03:53:15] I don't need it. Windows. Ord'oeuvres. So thorough. Yeah. Well, listen. He said it. I did it. We did it. Nope. It's time for What the Hallmarked. We weren't even close to doing it. Well, it's close. It is close. We still have Double Decker of the Week. Yeah. It's time for What the Hallmarked. Yeah. Segment that matters the least, and I think we would all acknowledge that. Yeah. No. For sure we tried to change it. People got upset. That's exactly right. Advice almost went with Kerplunk. Yeah. That's right.

[03:53:46] All right. Braga, what are you still wondering about? So you just mentioned him, Rob. Kerplunk. Yeah, Kerplunk. Mr. and Mrs. Kerplunk. Rob, he's Barbara Niven's boyfriend now. Yes. I believe he's Captain. Sure. Captain Rob. He's dating Barbara Niven, so obviously they're going to be together forever. Will Captain Rob make Hannah call him dad? Ew. I'm just wondering if they're going to get to that point where he's like, listen, just call me dad. Call me daddy. Call me daddy Rob. Podcast.

[03:54:17] Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's the big question. Is she going to have to call him dad? At a certain point, you don't ask your kids to do that. And I think she's past that point. You think so? She's way. I hope so. We'll see. I mean, call Barbara Niven in her 50s. But you can absolutely see Barbara Niven being like, call him dad. Just call him dad. Show him respect. Show him respect. Sheriff. You could just call him sheriff. Sheriff dad. Sheriff daddy.

[03:54:47] Sheriff daddy. Daddy sheriff. Yikes. Daddy. Sheriff. Kerplock. There's nothing else that you can do as a mystery wheel. Double wedding. The wheel. The treads are worn double wedding with him and Sheriff Daddy. Mm-hmm. Yep. I'm afraid that's where we're headed. So I'm hoping for a double wedding. Double wedding murder mystery. I now pronounce you and you, husband and wife. You and you, husband and wife.

[03:55:17] You and you, daddy and daughter. Good God. Then does Vic Webster have to call him dad at work? 100%. He has to call him dad. 100%. Daddy boss. Bossy pants. Daddy bossy pants. Daddy in law. Daddy in law. Daddy in law. Daddy in law. Dill. Dill. What? Dill. Dill. Just Dill. Daddy in law. Gilmore the Marrier. Season one. Episode 16.

[03:55:47] March 11th, 2026. At Knox. I emailed Knox multiple times about my statue on Main Street. He has not replied to me. You know what? I'm going to follow up right now. Yeah. Text him right now. See if he responds while we're live on air. It has been a weird amount of time for me to follow up, which I think will be fun. Just let him know someone's in town visiting and he was circling Main Street looking for your statue. And couldn't find it. So the last time that I emailed Knox was November 27th of 2023. It's been a while. Yes. Or maybe not. Right.

[03:56:16] The subject line is statue recommendation. Of yourself? Yeah. Wow. Okay. We can email our mayor around here. That's the kind of town we have. Small town. Hey, Knox. Been a minute. Been a minute. How's the statue? Any update on the potential statue? Branch pulled himself. I don't need a statue. You know what I mean? You would take a lot more marble than Branch. I would take a lot more marble. That's right. Okay. Yeah. For sure. Would it be marble? It'd be marble. I mean, honestly. Takes a while. Yeah. Okay. Honestly, everything. Anything's fine.

[03:56:45] Look at these nice things by Scotty Newman. I know. You can make one out of wood. Scotty Newman. Did he give you one? Did he send you one of these? No. I'm hoping. But he could make a brand wood statue. He could? Yeah. Let's do a wooden statue. Let's do a commission. Commission Scotty out here. There you go. We call him Commissioner Scotty. Commissioner Scotty. And then she heads home to call Max. But before she can call Max, Rory shows up and tells her that she and Dean have broken

[03:57:11] up and that, my friends, was Gilmore the Seen of the One episode 16. I love crafts, lovers, and others as strangers. I did an actual payback with the Fisco title. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back. We're going to break this episode down here on Gilmore the Merrier. We're ready. That's why I drove down. We do this every week. I moved here just for that.

[03:57:40] Welcome back. Welcome back. The idea of Knox White working, getting an email, a hey, just circling back on a three-year-old email. Good for me. But maybe it's on his to-do list. Maybe it's on his to-do list. I was bumping it up. I just bumped it to the top of inbox. Brand lives in that liminal space of I'm not getting the thing I asked for, and if I do, bonus. If I'm not, maybe I'll get something that I didn't have. You know what I mean?

[03:58:07] He lives in that space where Knox, to get him off his back, is like, here's a shout-out at the drive game. And Brand's like, great. Nice compromise. I love it. Or at the Founders Festival. It's like a punch or something. You can light the Christmas tree one. Oh my gosh. See what I mean? That's what he lives for. Speaking of Brand, I saw the saddest thing on the beach the other day. A discarded, dying, withering Christmas tree. Do you know what I saw?

[03:58:32] I saw an article about people burying their Christmas trees in the sand. Really? Why did you do that? And I didn't get far enough into the article to find out. You stopped reading. It wasn't good enough at that point? Yeah. I was too sad about that. You don't have any more information off of me? No. You just led with that, and we don't know why? No. Right. Well, they buried him in the sand. They buried him in the sand. Okay. I'm going to let you know. Is it the act of reading that really threw you for a loop? Like, what's going on? It bumped me out. Yeah. The picture? What if it's great for the environment?

[03:59:01] Now I've got to look this up. Yeah. Just because something's good for the environment doesn't mean that we have to do it. But it can't be great for the environment. Yeah, clip that. Go ahead and clip that just right where it was. It's perfect. It's time for the hot take. It's where we share exactly how we felt about this episode. Dude, do something. Like, do something. Do anything. Dean's out here doing stuff. Now, was it too much? Do not read the room. Of course he didn't read the room. Of course he didn't think about things from Rory's perspective.

[03:59:30] He's a high school boy who hasn't been taught any empathy. Well, yeah. And they're outside. They're outside. Yeah. I mean, listen. Can't read the room. They're outside. You can't read the room. It's too big. It's too big. It's the room of the atmosphere. But I like the episode. He can't read Tolstoy either. No, he can't. No, he doesn't. I will say, not a wait what? Just, hey, Rory, just let Dean be. Maybe he didn't like Toy Story. Like, I don't like. He's more Toy Story than Toy Story. Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, nice. Wait for it. Hey. Nice.