Christmas Holidate (ALLBLK - 2023) ft. Alonso Duralde

[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Bran and I love

[00:00:04] all black Christmas movies

[00:00:08] That's that's the network. Do this to me

[00:00:11] Watch me

[00:00:18] I'm Alonzo and I need to see at least one other all-blackers movie before I weigh in and this

[00:00:31] And then and friends host this podcast

[00:00:45] We're working on them guys we're working on them that was really tough man that was a tough spot to be in yeah

[00:00:53] Cuz I'd be lying if I said I loved it

[00:00:56] Right, right. It's important to know that that's the streamer. Yes. Okay. Yes all caps

[00:01:02] ALL BLK, it's not name of the company not the descriptor. No, no not describing the movie in that way

[00:01:09] That's right. Oh, it's great to be here a Monday talking about Christmas holiday. This could be a lot of fun

[00:01:15] It's June. It's June. Can you believe it? It's June. It's June

[00:01:21] Unbelievable. I have no idea. It is June

[00:01:25] It's

[00:01:28] Memorial Day everyone aside from brand who conveniently skipped over Memorial Day

[00:01:34] No, we got Memorial Day

[00:01:41] Yes, you say happy Memorial Day I just didn't you know, it's a memorial. Yeah

[00:01:50] Barbecues and like enjoy I just I don't know what I don't I just want to make sure I'm a brainates the troops

[00:01:56] Is what I heard from this?

[00:01:58] Happy birthday to my sister who is I'm sure listening. Yeah, happy birthday to Alonzo belated last week. Oh, thank you birthday

[00:02:05] Yes, absolutely. Yeah, congratulations on another year and a book. What are you?

[00:02:10] Telling you

[00:02:12] Who knew that I would have a book and a birthday in the same year

[00:02:16] What are the odds I wonder what he's gonna do for next year's birthday?

[00:02:20] Yeah, got a one-up. That's right. I know what I do in July though a lot

[00:02:24] You're gonna come over to Bramble fast. Yeah, July 19th 20th right here. And yeah, yeah. Yeah that great bill

[00:02:30] That's right. It's gonna be a ton of fun. We

[00:02:33] Start to get some news in on people that are gonna be here and it's very exciting

[00:02:36] I don't want to tell I don't spoil it. I mean you got news

[00:02:39] I just know Alonzo is coming who else matters Patrick Serrano. Okay, that's messed up his leg. Did you see this?

[00:02:45] No, I did not see. Oh poor thing. Yeah, his calf muscle

[00:02:50] When he said when he texted Aaron, do you have more insight?

[00:02:54] That it was broken

[00:02:56] Yesterday broken broken calf muscle torn upper calf muscle is the diagnosis from

[00:03:03] Patrick Serrano and then he said being 40 is tough. He was just trying to work out. That's all he was trying

[00:03:09] This is a this is important. That's right. This is an important bit of information

[00:03:15] Text him and I said, okay, so not exercising saves lives and that's where I am. Well more I've always said it's a

[00:03:22] It's a menace working out yeah, I texted him and the only thing I could think of because we just recorded with him was

[00:03:28] He was telling us that he's switching jobs and he finished his job in Chicago

[00:03:33] I like 15 years and he had a little extra time

[00:03:35] He was enjoying it

[00:03:36] But he was worried that his new job hadn't wasn't offering benefits and he was gonna be without health insurance after June

[00:03:42] And I just I think he got this one in and I was like, hey man

[00:03:46] But I'd be lying if I didn't you know, if my first thought wasn't thank God is it's May and he has health insurance

[00:03:53] So

[00:03:56] How about that, but he'll be your boots maybe I don't know

[00:03:59] I don't know how long does that take to heal this guy probably four weeks

[00:04:02] He said he's going to another a specialist or something to see how long he's gonna have specialist. Yes a calf special

[00:04:07] It's actually

[00:04:09] on a dairy

[00:04:10] Yeah, like baby cows baby cows. That's right, but he can also help your leg help your leg as well

[00:04:15] interesting

[00:04:17] Memorial day does that change anything about you like for this podcast?

[00:04:20] Do you feel like you've got extra time you thought it was June turns out you've got four more days

[00:04:25] Yes

[00:04:27] Well, yeah, it does actually I I had a lot of stuff that I would

[00:04:31] Thought that I had forgotten and now I know that I didn't forget it because this hasn't happened yet. So that's good

[00:04:36] It's always good to know. It's always good to know that you're living in the past not the future

[00:04:40] Um

[00:04:42] Bramble fast is what we're trying to say

[00:04:46] Jack's is gonna be there Ryan Popola is gonna be there

[00:04:50] cancer

[00:04:51] Dickens cancer will maybe I don't know cancer if we can make the canters rider or not. I don't know if we can make

[00:05:00] So good to see you good to see you to go in Oh excellent, sir. How's it going?

[00:05:06] You know, I've never been better Alonzo you

[00:05:11] Specifically for the canter

[00:05:13] Look, I understood there was a possibility that he might be at Bramble fest and you know

[00:05:18] I just I wanted to be ready for machine. This press is just phenomenal. What does that have to do with?

[00:05:25] Because I don't know how much longer I'm going to enjoy this silky smooth coffee and if I'm still enjoying it

[00:05:31] Well, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it. I actually

[00:05:33] Had an espresso machine for a short amount of time, but I couldn't figure out how to operate it

[00:05:38] Yeah, see that was my problem, too

[00:05:39] I called up somewhere and I was like I've got these pods right and I've got this coffee machine

[00:05:44] Why do I stick them in exactly right? Yeah. What did he did they give you an answer?

[00:05:49] They did they were very helpful on the spresso line. Do you like it? Yeah, maybe you can come over and help me

[00:05:54] I will and rainbow fest in or out. We'll see. All right, let's talk about expect the cancer this morning

[00:06:01] I gotta be honest

[00:06:03] I didn't expect it, but he's here and you know

[00:06:06] That's right. Yeah, absolutely to canter. Happy Memorial Day. Yeah, happy Memorial Day to cancer

[00:06:12] Let's talk. Let's talk about Christmas holiday

[00:06:16] from all black a streamer Dan despises

[00:06:21] his words

[00:06:24] His words take it to the tape

[00:06:27] Take the tape back up

[00:06:29] Originally, it's so much originally dropped on November 2nd 2023 when do your kids hear about the least I showed

[00:06:38] Showed up for Alonzo's interview at least that's true

[00:06:44] Voice over Holly is telling us about how much her family loved

[00:06:51] Christmas growing up also apparently Holly's mom

[00:06:55] Always said that she was a great matchmaker and that's why when she grew up she decided I want to start

[00:07:03] Holidays it is an app for people who need a date around the holidays it

[00:07:10] best to my knowledge

[00:07:12] hasn't launched

[00:07:14] She's working on an update. Okay for the launch

[00:07:17] But there are plenty of people using it. It's not it's a soft launch to beta. It's a beta. It's a beta

[00:07:25] No, and the rule the number one rule you need to know about her is that she will not under any circumstance

[00:07:32] Use her app. No, that would be a conflict of interest. You would never she's not she's not interested in dating

[00:07:40] She gets a call from a hunk named John John's from IT

[00:07:45] He's actually very important to this movie. I didn't realize at the time, but she doesn't want to talk to him

[00:07:50] Unfortunately though for her he's right behind her watching him watching her decline the call he says that he wants to talk

[00:07:59] To her about becoming a partner in the app because of how much work he's putting towards it

[00:08:04] He cares so much about this app. It was a little skin in the gate. What's some skin?

[00:08:09] But she's like I don't want to talk about this right now. Yeah, you're John scram

[00:08:13] John's also like hey, I got to talk to you about this about this update. I don't think it's ready yet

[00:08:18] She's like don't want to talk about it

[00:08:20] So there you go

[00:08:22] all Holly really wants to do is

[00:08:25] Get her family to spend Christmas together like they used to they haven't spent Christmas together like that since

[00:08:34] Uncle John died uncle John for John different John for John. He died and

[00:08:40] That's unfortunate. So the first step is getting aunt Rhonda who was married to uncle John to come back and

[00:08:49] Have spent Christmas with him and now aunt Rhonda and Holly's mom Ron joy

[00:08:54] They haven't talked in a long time

[00:08:58] So when Holly and aunt Rhonda show up Holly is not thrilled by this

[00:09:03] aunt Rhonda is about to leave because she realizes she's not welcome there and

[00:09:08] Just as Dan would want and so Holly says she has a guy coming necessary

[00:09:15] So Holly says I got a guy coming I have I'm in a relationship and they're like wow she's if she's in love

[00:09:21] We gotta meet this guy, right? The only problem is she does not have a guy

[00:09:26] So she reluctantly decides to break her number one rule and use the app and she has a match

[00:09:33] immediately Santa Santa Santa

[00:09:36] The name she said the Sampson Santa Sampson Sampson to Sampson. We love him

[00:09:42] So back at the office John sees that she has used the app and

[00:09:47] Also sees that the app has a bit of a bug

[00:09:50] So he goes to find her and tell her that there's something wrong with the app

[00:09:55] but then when he shows up they naturally think that he is

[00:10:00] Santa Samson the boy Santa Sampson and so

[00:10:03] He just kind of falls into that role and I think that's gonna be the hijinks

[00:10:08] Take care of the movie things are actually going really well until

[00:10:13] The guy that she actually matched with the real Santa Samson

[00:10:17] Please stand up and he does and he shows up at the house. And so

[00:10:23] She's like I never said John's I never said John's my boyfriend. I never said I never said that

[00:10:27] No, you guys John for my tea. That's right

[00:10:31] You guys intimated that he was my boyfriend, but I never said I never said that correct about John's nothing

[00:10:36] So John leaves he's sad now

[00:10:39] and

[00:10:41] Finally tells her that's on his way out that he likes her and he's like I like you

[00:10:47] I'm gonna go find this glitch basically the glitch he finds out is

[00:10:52] causing multiple guys to

[00:10:55] Match at the same time and so typically like you'd be like, hey

[00:10:59] I want you to show up at this time that is now happening to multiple people at the same exact time

[00:11:05] And so multiple guys start showing up also named Santa Samson and they're like hey

[00:11:10] I'm here to meet you. And so obviously she finally has to come clean to her family and

[00:11:17] Tells all those guys to get lost. There are a couple of very serious conversations that happen in this movie

[00:11:25] Neither of those conversations matter now

[00:11:28] all she wants to do is find John which she finally does John finally got the

[00:11:34] The fix and so she finds him

[00:11:37] He makes the fix happen on her phone and then she's basically like I'm willing to give this a shot a shot

[00:11:42] So they show back up together. They celebrate the midnight Christmas time together and they do a

[00:11:49] Kiss and then they dance for a long time and that my friends was

[00:11:53] Christmas holiday

[00:11:57] We did it let's take a quick break and we'll come back and we'll break this movie down

[00:12:02] The way only we can here on the hallmark

[00:12:13] Everybody hopefully you're having a wonderful day maybe grilling up some some brats. Yeah some burgers. Absolutely

[00:12:24] Let's talk about Christmas holiday

[00:12:25] Shall we from all black you were on vacation and you came all the way back him all the way back from Florida?

[00:12:30] Yes, I did as well

[00:12:32] That's how come down the pool noodle and that's right

[00:12:34] I said I got to talk about Christmas holiday with my friends. That's right. Let's do that. Let's talk about this

[00:12:39] We're gonna start with a hot take we're gonna share exactly how he felt about this movie

[00:12:42] We will not hold back Alonzo so far our journey through 2023 movies has maybe been a little bit rocky

[00:12:50] Has Christmas holiday?

[00:12:54] Right righted the ship

[00:12:56] Has it no

[00:13:01] I

[00:13:03] Mean look, you know me, you know that if there's a there's a category of these movies that I I'm gonna be like

[00:13:12] Down for it's gonna be the fake boyfriend

[00:13:16] I love I love a fake boyfriend a fake fiance a fake relationship like bring him back to the family thing. It's my jam

[00:13:23] Family too, and I love a messy family. I love it

[00:13:26] I love a squabbling dysfunctional got to get their act together for Christmas family

[00:13:32] But man

[00:13:35] Yeah, this is a movie where like just the logic from scene to scene falls apart

[00:13:42] Where people keep saying the same sentences over and over again?

[00:13:50] Where yeah, it just

[00:13:52] Whole characters are like wait how and why did they but didn't wasn't the I?

[00:13:58] Mmm. Yeah, this was a constant movie of like writing down wait what's and then about eight scenes later?

[00:14:03] They've maybe sort of explained something

[00:14:07] Yeah, this is this is the first draftiest of movies

[00:14:14] Yeah, that's fair there is a great drinking great game in this movie where if every time she says I got to get my family

[00:14:20] My family back together

[00:14:23] You wouldn't make it no

[00:14:26] I don't think it's possible

[00:14:28] No one is able to handle that

[00:14:30] This is not a great movie. I will say there is a star in this movie, and it is her dad is

[00:14:39] wonderful he sings some which is great and

[00:14:45] But this movie

[00:14:47] This movie totally is really weird and like goes between

[00:14:53] funny hijinks to

[00:14:56] random songs to really really serious conversations that no one asked for and

[00:15:02] So it's yeah, it's a bit of a mess there are some bright spots

[00:15:05] But unfortunately those bright spots are not bright enough to shine a light on an otherwise dim movie

[00:15:12] I don't know how good that was

[00:15:14] Figuring out as I went, but I felt like I did okay, Dan

[00:15:17] Yeah, this movie is really really bad, and I love the fake relationship trope as well and this movie goes to

[00:15:27] Considerable measures to make it not work they go above and beyond in how they go about

[00:15:34] ruining the fake relationship trope in numerous ways in this movie, and and I just

[00:15:40] Could never grasp what they were trying to do and then totally it will just shift into

[00:15:47] A movie that is way more serious than this movie is earned also

[00:15:51] There's just crazy amounts of filmmaking issues at one point the the the scene goes slow-motion in the middle of the scene

[00:15:59] Which is is impressive like a Zack Snyder was like you know what you should do here

[00:16:04] Like it's a mess. It's a mess of a movie, and it's super unfortunate, and I hated it

[00:16:10] Thanks, Dan. It's time for all the fields as we talk about what in this movie gave us feels Alonzo anything

[00:16:18] Feels you say yes feels

[00:16:22] No

[00:16:24] Nothing

[00:16:25] This might be a a first a triple no

[00:16:32] So the one thing about this movie that worked happens in the first five minutes, which is

[00:16:38] They have an app for a holiday have we seen that before

[00:16:43] So yes, we have all the way go all the way mingle all the ways just for the holidays

[00:16:50] Because it's a bad title if it's not

[00:16:54] Because bingo all the way like I thought this was the first time

[00:16:58] We had seen the we have a dating app

[00:17:00] And then we have a subsection of our dating app that is just for you to find someone else

[00:17:06] That you need to just be there and be a basically a warm body during the holidays with no strings attached

[00:17:12] And I was like okay

[00:17:14] This is this is something that I'm I'm for like I'm on board with this

[00:17:19] And if it's if that's what mingle all the way was I thought mingle all the way was just a a fake dating app

[00:17:25] I if I'm wrong about that then I

[00:17:28] Don't remember

[00:17:29] I did appreciate the fact that the whole app wasn't all holiday all the time

[00:17:33] It was just like a little adjunct section

[00:17:35] But it did seem to me like you know Christmas Eve's a little late to be fixing that

[00:17:43] Mingle all the way is a new networking app designed to pair busy professionals together for upcoming events

[00:17:49] Yeah, that's so that's very like what this was was just hey

[00:17:53] We're not gonna make any no bones about this like we have a dating app

[00:17:57] But if you just are in need of someone to be there to act like your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever

[00:18:02] We you can also just do that right here, and I just thought that was great

[00:18:06] I thought that was a great app, and I was like I'm happy

[00:18:10] Just interested to see where this movie goes and then I was very disappointed

[00:18:14] Yeah, I'll say a quick break. We'll come back with the way what and the what the hallmark here on

[00:18:28] We're back we're talking about

[00:18:32] Christmas holidays

[00:18:34] Today and it's time for the way what part of the show so we talked about one in the two minutes ago wait

[00:18:38] What we'll see if there's enough to go around

[00:18:41] Alonso

[00:18:43] Alright the one of the very first things we see in this movie is the dad and the uncle

[00:18:50] Wearing those like cousin it Santa beers where it's just this long veil of hair

[00:18:56] Like it's not a mustache and a beard. It's just this like it's like if you took a long

[00:19:03] Gray wig and turned it upside down and put it on your face

[00:19:07] You know so that's already throwing me

[00:19:10] Then we we segue into the opening credits that are basically a screensaver

[00:19:14] Yeah, they are not this is like stock winter

[00:19:18] wintry forest footage that we will never see again in this film that are not locations that we're about to go to and where the

[00:19:24] Snow is not anything like what we're gonna get for the rest of the movie either. It's very distracting

[00:19:28] Yeah, they're all of different quality like the key to stock footage is that it needs to all be

[00:19:35] The same or else like it doesn't make any sense and unfortunately that's not what happened here

[00:19:41] We get into the whole like yeah, that's a holiday thing, but we're gonna launch a Christmas Day cuz you know what perfect timing

[00:19:47] we are told that

[00:19:50] Rhonda's husband is dead and

[00:19:52] Then suddenly there's a reference to uncle David, and you're like what and then it's like oh because she remarried

[00:19:58] And that's why the mom is mad at her

[00:20:00] But like these pieces of information are not given to you in order so you have to kind of

[00:20:06] Cobble them together yourself and figure out what's going on

[00:20:09] I was wondering why aunt Rhonda and the mom were not speaking for a long time in this movie

[00:20:15] Oh, did they just kind of bread reverse bread crumb you or out of order bread crumb?

[00:20:19] I don't know what it is. Yeah. Yeah, that was the you know you you've really got a

[00:20:24] Just start weaving the pieces together on your own because the movies not gonna do it for you

[00:20:28] I

[00:20:29] Get that padding happens in these movies and obviously this is not anywhere near you know like the legendary

[00:20:35] You know 15-minute credits a sequence that shows you the entire movie again, but I couldn't help

[00:20:44] Good times I could not help notice the the movie parks on the daughter

[00:20:51] Putting her beret on and putting like little jewel accoutrement things on the beret, and I'm like well this is

[00:20:59] Going somewhere right where we're parked here for a reason right? We are not

[00:21:06] Just a little little accessory moment

[00:21:10] Was the equivalent of the the insulting the bad haircut thing that we saw in that other movie

[00:21:16] Just five minutes of why are we doing this she like takes it off and puts it back on oh my good times

[00:21:22] times yeah still

[00:21:24] You know I heard they had like a tie-in with Michaels where you could buy some of these you know

[00:21:29] Baubles or whatever it was yeah very baffling

[00:21:33] Okay

[00:21:35] he

[00:21:36] When when John from IT is trying to track down where our heroine is he stares at a screen full of code

[00:21:44] Yeah

[00:21:45] It is he is not tracking her iPhone. He's not looking at a map

[00:21:48] That's not there are all kinds of cyber ways that are real and true that makes sense that you could

[00:21:54] Track you could ping someone's location, but no he just

[00:21:58] Stares at a screen of code and that is supposed to reveal to him the answer regarding her location this movie takes place

[00:22:06] He's outside of the matrix and so he's doing that code you get it exactly yeah

[00:22:12] Bullet time and it all happens yeah, so all right

[00:22:17] We

[00:22:19] Somebody they were coming so fast and furious like I didn't even I couldn't even make one

[00:22:23] They were all crammed into one sentence. Why is uncle David not there? Why is she just manic at times she has I mean

[00:22:31] Literally these are like I get it acting is hard and sometimes you need a director to like reign you in but like she's just I

[00:22:37] Thought she was she was just gonna like I don't know collapse to the floor

[00:22:42] She's so like at some point get so high-pitched and energetic about the thing that's happening

[00:22:48] If the ongoing thing is her family talking about what a great matchmaker

[00:22:54] She is which is never really explained

[00:22:56] She has like some dumb advice to give along the way that is as basic as you can get

[00:23:02] Why is it a secret that she has a dating app and that the family can't know about it like that's never

[00:23:09] Explained several times. They can't know we can't tell them that I have this app and I'm like

[00:23:16] Why

[00:23:18] You want to talk about hoops to jump through she is a successful app developer she has a new app

[00:23:26] She cannot tell her family about that app, but there are plenty of people already using the app

[00:23:33] Yes, it exists. There is no Venn diagram

[00:23:36] It just doesn't make any sense

[00:23:39] And it's not like it's somebody she's doing this shady thing for a living or like her parents are super

[00:23:45] Something that they would object to it like it's just thrown in there as a new

[00:23:49] Whatever. I literally wrote down the words drink every time she says get my family back together

[00:23:53] So we're all on the same page there there

[00:23:56] This is one of those sudden narration movies where like there hasn't been duration for a long time

[00:24:01] And then there is and then none anymore like and she's narrating a thing that we know

[00:24:07] What's going on, but she they the movie feels need to explain it to us again

[00:24:12] At one point he's like rattling off this techno jargon that uh, and she just says above above what and I thought that is

[00:24:20] In a nutshell all of the tech talk

[00:24:22] Is above above what because it all sounds like a complete nonsense

[00:24:29] The snow comes and goes at one point when you know

[00:24:33] He leaves and whatever they play a like mournful version of

[00:24:38] jingle

[00:24:41] Jingle bells

[00:24:45] Domain for all its worth. I mean like of all the mournful Christmas songs

[00:24:49] That's just not the one

[00:24:52] She says she realizes from the earlier conversation. They had was just to find him

[00:24:57] Oh, he's gonna be looking at lights and she goes to find him and he is not

[00:25:03] He's off the side of the road looking at tree like a tree

[00:25:08] The bad looking at a ravine that scene deserves its own category and we can

[00:25:13] Know where John is and she goes in her head

[00:25:19] She remembers thanks to a scene that they show us in black and white that they showed us in color

[00:25:25] 20 minutes earlier

[00:25:27] That he goes and looks at the lights

[00:25:30] Drives around and looks at the lights on Christmas Eve and she's like, that's it. I know where he is

[00:25:34] First of all, no, you don't because if you're driving around looking at lights, you could be anywhere in town

[00:25:41] So she has no more information than she did when she remembered that scene aside from the fact that he will be in a car somewhere

[00:25:49] Then she finds him not in a car

[00:25:53] Not looking at lights

[00:25:57] What movie did we miss about these woods

[00:25:59] I just he is standing a foot away from woods like he can't see it. He is this close I

[00:26:07] It was the most inexcusable thing I've seen in this movie and it's an own goal

[00:26:12] You know like like the movie is telling you this thing

[00:26:14] They could just the line could have been I go to the woods and look at the trees, you know

[00:26:18] And that's you know where to find him

[00:26:19] But like if you're gonna write I look at the lights then you then have to do that scene or vice versa like yes

[00:26:25] That no one's making them do either of those things

[00:26:27] They just chose it if you are if you are someone that's gonna put the line the plot point in your movie twice

[00:26:35] That I'm gonna go look at lights and then you don't show it I

[00:26:40] You're a night shot that's on you

[00:26:44] One arm that's really strong how do we use that later?

[00:26:47] Oh, there'll be a lady in the water

[00:27:02] Man

[00:27:04] Just like a couple of minor things like the

[00:27:07] John's coat fits really badly at the end of the movie. Yeah, I is Rhonda's husband never invited

[00:27:14] Why is John wearing one outfit for the entire movie?

[00:27:18] but then finally the last one that I

[00:27:21] Genuinely would like an answer to this one if someone

[00:27:24] Could say in the opening and closing credits like there's a writing credit

[00:27:29] There's a directing credit and then somebody gets a created by credit. I

[00:27:36] Don't know what that means in the context of a feature film like in a TV show sure, but what?

[00:27:42] By credit no

[00:27:45] Created it but that didn't direct or write it was like I've got this idea, but I don't want to be have any part in making

[00:27:51] this

[00:27:54] And do you want to claim that

[00:27:58] Create it and the

[00:28:00] weren't involved with it all created by credit was David E. Kelly, which is crazy if

[00:28:06] You even think about it

[00:28:10] That's so funny guys I

[00:28:13] Have a few what he did mention is his coat which when he turns around while looking at the woods

[00:28:18] He his his coat is long

[00:28:22] weirdly

[00:28:24] Tight tights and also the pockets are up here. Yeah

[00:28:28] If we had a bit budget we to come in with high pop with high pockets

[00:28:31] Pockets are wild. I mean, is it a lady's coat?

[00:28:38] It does thrilled that you said it first yeah, I can tell you right now

[00:28:42] I'd rock that coach, but the pockets are a little too high for my like it's a little wind calls the heart

[00:28:47] You know

[00:28:49] I have a few one

[00:28:52] They it's a little thing

[00:28:53] But they're not letting that girl stay up till midnight every year that logo that little girl at the beginning is not staying up till

[00:28:59] Midnight every parents like get out of here. Yeah, let us adults drink and dance. Yeah and have fun and

[00:29:05] Wrap some presents, right? That's right. You're not saying until midnight

[00:29:09] There is music in in the background of this entire movie

[00:29:14] aside from the one scene where they desperately needed music where she's

[00:29:20] Walking around the house singing this really weird song. There's no music behind it. It was very weird

[00:29:28] And you and it's very noticeable

[00:29:31] Because the rest of the movie has music the entire thing this movie did remember is that when we watch these movies that are like

[00:29:38] lower budget than Hallmark

[00:29:39] The the death knell is the silent scene where no one knows how to act in that scene and then it's silence like

[00:29:47] Yeah, it is just like time is standing still this movie doesn't do that

[00:29:52] They literally are playing music the whole time

[00:29:56] You can hear there's some some audio problems

[00:29:59] And so is that's a great way to cover. Yeah, you don't hear like an air-conditioned, right?

[00:30:13] Will that come back no way

[00:30:17] The so the other the the Santa Samson to the real one shows up and

[00:30:25] The aunt and the mom make him mix food because he has big muscles

[00:30:31] Why wouldn't you but the key to having somebody mix something?

[00:30:36] Without there being something is to not show the inside of the bowl

[00:30:40] But unfortunately, we do see the inside of this bowl because he aims it at the camera while mixing. There's nothing in that

[00:30:49] It's a travesty that even the the most bare-bones film could get around

[00:30:55] It was tough

[00:30:56] There's not a character in the world in the history of film TV or otherwise

[00:31:01] That talks to themselves more than John talks to himself. He talks to himself

[00:31:09] 24-7 if he's not talking to you or somebody else he's talking to himself out loud

[00:31:13] Yeah, just letting you know everything that he's doing. I've got to find I've got to find it. Where are you?

[00:31:19] I can't find it. There you are like just give him Wilson the volleyball so he can talk to

[00:31:28] So they really the dad especially really took a liking to John so he found out that John wasn't the real

[00:31:35] Boyfriend and this other guy was he was a little disappointed especially because this is what he says about this new guy

[00:31:41] He's alright, but he doesn't know anything about fishing or charades

[00:31:50] Do you know about fishing okay, but try this one on for size charades

[00:31:56] Yeah, that's weird he doesn't know anything about he's never played it

[00:31:59] I don't know anybody of her to bring home a guy to meet her father right knowing that he doesn't know anything

[00:32:05] Yes, two things. He cares about respect fishing and charades

[00:32:08] Yeah, and he doesn't even put in the time to fake it like yeah, it's like he's like yeah

[00:32:12] No, of course no he just if you can do them together like that's the that's a golden day for him obviously

[00:32:20] We were really bothered by the scene where he was not looking at Christmas lights. He was looking at the woods

[00:32:27] An important thing you need to know about that scene is that it happens during the day because the Sun is still out yes

[00:32:34] They then agree hey, let's go back to your family's house for Christmas

[00:32:38] They walk in and they say it's almost midnight. Yep

[00:32:44] I

[00:32:46] Asked what like what is happening. This is the setting for Chris Nolan's insomnia this movie. It is wild

[00:32:53] Fact that he's looking at Christmas lights in the day. Yeah, we didn't even get to that gonna go look well

[00:32:58] Maybe that's the problem

[00:33:00] He went to go look for Christmas lights, and then realize it's still daytime for me. What else could I look at?

[00:33:09] At the end of this movie

[00:33:11] They are putting up the ornaments and she

[00:33:16] talks about

[00:33:18] Spoiler alert kids if you're listening

[00:33:21] When she found out that there was no Santa this movie for no reason ruined Santa for kids

[00:33:28] This movie is the Dan of movies

[00:33:32] Christmas for people know what we've sat through an hour and 20 minutes of this movie. What's one more thing we can do

[00:33:42] If your kids are listening you can you can pause it or mute it or whatever you need to do don't pause it cuz it's

[00:33:46] Still here

[00:33:48] Out of the car

[00:33:49] Listen, I like to think in a safe place in a safe, but don't just drop

[00:33:54] Let him look at the woods. You know I like to think that your love of Christmas can begin once you realize Santa's not real

[00:34:01] Sure, that's what I liked it. That's great

[00:34:06] Sorry, I want to piggyback real quick

[00:34:08] And this is a movie that this is a thing that a lot of movies are guilty of so I don't want to just lay it

[00:34:12] On this one, but this one does it a lot

[00:34:13] Which is a movie where people talk about?

[00:34:15] Oh these the ornaments and the traditions and the we've had them for years and there's not a thing in this movie

[00:34:20] There's more than five minutes old. Yeah, like they all just came from Ross Dress for Less and

[00:34:25] They have a shine on them. They're like they're still peeling the price tags off and it's like oh yes our traditional ornaments

[00:34:32] We've had for generations

[00:34:34] Ornament that she hangs up that she apparently broke like like ten minutes ago in the movie looks perfect

[00:34:41] Yeah, there's no way you could have throws it across the room when you hear a shatter sound and it looks perfect

[00:34:46] No problem

[00:34:46] I'll ask my ladies Dan will occasionally be watching a Hallmark movie or otherwise and boo the screen when he doesn't like it

[00:34:53] And I think that's a little tacky

[00:34:55] Until I see the kiss at the end of this movie. Oh my gosh

[00:35:00] Because here's the thing if I'm gonna if I'm gonna make it through this I

[00:35:05] Know I'm getting a kiss at the end of the movie and it's all gonna be worth it. I

[00:35:10] This to call it a kiss is generous. The two actors have to be related

[00:35:16] They had to be concerned they were breaking a law I would kiss brand like this

[00:35:24] We would kiss more passionately

[00:35:26] Passionately

[00:35:28] We love each other legitimately

[00:35:30] They don't just like they are leaning at an angle

[00:35:34] That they could not be further apart when their lips meet and their lips meet for maybe a tenth of a second

[00:35:40] And it is like it's like I've never seen

[00:35:45] It was a grade school kiss that you do on a dare it was the it was sad

[00:35:50] And I exactly what and I actively boot I booed the kiss and so

[00:35:56] You know I never

[00:35:59] I just wanted two actors were related and they're like brother and sister

[00:36:03] It's when the photographer makes the ring bearer kiss the flower girl. There's like

[00:36:13] Find the movie and go watch just that scene and you're gonna be like they're gonna kiss me

[00:36:19] I said you were booing and I was like they're gonna kiss again right like this is like they're in front of their family

[00:36:23] No, that's the kiss in this movie blink and you miss it it is yeah, it's unbelievable tough Dan

[00:36:30] Early on in this movie. There's a montage of the family all together

[00:36:34] Hanging ornaments where they proceed to hang five ornaments on one branch

[00:36:38] Guys just spread it out a little give everybody a chance on that tree to work. Just a little bit. That's a lot

[00:36:45] Um I it goes without saying but Christmas Day app launch

[00:36:50] Christmas Day update launch for a Christmas service

[00:36:55] So you're updating your holiday app the big update for this movie is

[00:37:02] scheduled to

[00:37:03] update on Christmas morning

[00:37:06] No, no no no no and the best is is she says I can't delay this update anymore

[00:37:12] Everyone's waiting on this update, and she says this line. I can't postpone it. I just did a podcast

[00:37:19] The reason she can't postpone

[00:37:21] The update is because she went on a podcast and talked about it guys. I got news for you

[00:37:27] We say stuff all the time here that doesn't ever work out. I'd like I thought this was legally binded

[00:37:33] Yeah, she already did a singular podcast. Yeah, there's no way she can turn turn back now

[00:37:39] It is the update is going

[00:37:41] Nothing

[00:37:43] John starts to make his feelings for her known and she responds with this line

[00:37:48] John we're like bleach and ammonia when we get together we sting I

[00:37:54] Did look this up, but that's the least of your worries if you're in a room with bleach and ammonia

[00:37:58] Yeah, that is like the best possible case scenario

[00:38:03] For you hanging out with bleach and ammonia is just it stings your skin

[00:38:07] Like if that's the illustration you're going with then you should never see him ever ever again

[00:38:13] We are a poisonous gas

[00:38:18] We're like TNT we're dead

[00:38:22] She is so disappointed

[00:38:25] That the hired holiday doesn't care about her childhood ornaments. I just got look

[00:38:33] What are you asking for here lady?

[00:38:36] This dude is calling himself Santa Samson

[00:38:40] He is showing up and dealing with your dad who's mad. He didn't know about fishing your charades

[00:38:46] He's here for one day you expect him to care about your childhood ornaments

[00:38:51] Are you kidding me right now?

[00:38:53] Like no, no, it's just not his job. It's just not his job

[00:38:58] He doesn't care because

[00:39:01] He shouldn't care that that is that is he's a hired Christmas date

[00:39:06] He's not there to learn about your ornaments. He's there to just be beside you and get through the holidays

[00:39:15] It's just not fair to this guy. This guy just walked into a buzzsaw

[00:39:20] I love that when she starts showing him the ornaments

[00:39:23] He immediately goes to his phone and I'm thinking oh you're back on the app trying to find like is there somebody better

[00:39:29] loony pants

[00:39:31] Manic Christmas lady. Yeah. Yeah, there's no world what he

[00:39:36] Bargained for is just not what he got walking in there. I it's crazy and you mentioned it briefly Alonzo, but

[00:39:44] We still don't ever get a reason said out loud that aunt Rhonda just can't invite her husband

[00:39:50] Yeah to the Christmas Eve now we are to assume that is because they think she moved on too quickly

[00:39:57] Right. Yeah from his brother, but they never say it. They just have decided that aunt Rhonda was

[00:40:04] Loyally faithfully married to someone for years and years. He died and a few years later. She gets remarried and that right there

[00:40:11] That's it. We can't do anything else with this woman

[00:40:14] how dare she and then on top of that she gets talked into coming to Christmas by

[00:40:20] conniving crazy pants, right and leaves her husband at home like

[00:40:25] Not even like they tell her don't bring the husband she chooses not to bring him and it's finally there's like oh, you know

[00:40:31] What you should we should have him to him like this poor guy like

[00:40:35] How much?

[00:40:36] She has a nerve I guess to call him at 11 p.m. And be like

[00:40:44] Like that is a great transition to my what the Hallmark good luck thinking of it when you want

[00:40:49] No, no, it's weird. Still. Yeah, what the Hallmark? I thought we might I

[00:40:53] I mine is this guy

[00:40:57] What's he doing?

[00:40:59] She left him alone on Christmas Eve. Is he like thrilled like he's just just doing whatever he wants

[00:41:04] And then he gets the call at 11 p.m

[00:41:06] I gotta get I gotta do something or is he like what the f bro?

[00:41:09] Like we just we're not even gonna spend Christmas together. Like what's he doing? I need a VFW pounding

[00:41:17] This guy being left on Christmas Eve by his wife

[00:41:23] For because he's not invited I just need to know what's going on in his life. That's fair. Yeah Alonzo. Do you ever what the Hallmark?

[00:41:32] I would love to know what planet this movie was set on I guess, you know

[00:41:36] Like I think that this is we're in some parallel universe of you know

[00:41:40] And we're this is how we celebrate Christmas on Trouthamador everybody. But like I don't I don't know I

[00:41:46] Have like a why why'd they do this?

[00:41:50] Should about the

[00:41:52] Editing of the movie at the beginning with what they're doing the thing

[00:41:57] she's explaining the family and how it broke up and

[00:42:00] They show a shot of the family all standing side by side and they say and she says uncle John

[00:42:07] Passed away and they fade fade him out pour one out and he's gone

[00:42:11] So and you're like, okay great

[00:42:13] And then she says and mom found other stuff to keep herself preoccupied

[00:42:19] And then they fade her out. That's right, which led me to believe she

[00:42:28] She didn't she just working out a lot she was working out a lot

[00:42:32] He couldn't do Christmas because she had to exercise

[00:42:34] So like why did we fade her out like she died and why also why with that line mom found other stuff to keep herself?

[00:42:43] preoccupied

[00:42:44] It makes it sound like she joined like the like I don't know she joined something like a cold

[00:42:50] The bomb squad we don't talk about it. Mom's not here anymore

[00:42:53] We can't she found other stuff to keep her so preoccupied. She's just working out 24-7

[00:43:01] That's it fade her out. She's dead. She's dead to me. What do we say to me?

[00:43:06] So we're gonna have a mom character who doesn't want to do Christmas. She just wants to exercise. How do we write that?

[00:43:12] Hear me out what if she's just found other things that make her too too busy for Christmas busy

[00:43:22] Anyway we did everybody congratulations, we're back next week

[00:43:25] We're gonna talk about a movie called werewolf Santa and typically I would say give it a shot

[00:43:29] I have watched it. Don't give it a shot. Well, we will talk about it. We will explain it

[00:43:35] Whatever

[00:43:39] Recommendation to go watch this movie don't watch it not an endorsement. Don't watch it. We'll tell you why next week

[00:43:46] Till they move the first wish you a Merry Christmas

[00:43:49] The hallmarks of bramble jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shay

[00:43:52] For more information on deck the hallmark

[00:43:54] You can go to deck the hallmark

[00:43:56] calm for information on the deck the hallmark family

[00:43:58] You can go to bramble jam plus

[00:43:59] Calm deck the hallmark is presented by philo TV for a free trial of philo go to philo dot TV slash DTH

[00:44:11] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio

[00:44:17] Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show

[00:44:23] I mean you're listening to me. Hi

[00:44:26] But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here. They are

[00:44:29] Happy day