Clickbait: Unfollowed (Tubi - 2024)

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Bram and I love Tubi Movies! I'm Brian, I like Tubi Movies! I'm Dan and I despise Tubi Movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast! Deck The Hallmark, it's his podcast Friends host his podcast We hope you like this jolly podcast Well, hello everybody!

[00:00:35] It is great to be here today talking about another Tubi Movie Probably be a disclaimer on this episode Yeah, it's a lot I mean, it's a lot here It's a lot, maybe don't watch the movie with kids But also, you know, it's an intense movie

[00:00:50] Intense movie, we'll talk about it Directed, written by Cat Barrel Yes, Cat Barrel Cat Barrel So that's fun, we'll get to that in just a second Guys, Thursday is here and everybody wants to know If you could be any type of bear, which bear would it be?

[00:01:10] And why? Grizzly It's Thursday question of the week Thursday question of the week Where we ask you questions And you answer them Question of the week Good Is that it? Yeah I made that Wow Whoa TM Made it up I made that

[00:01:34] Well, we've been doing this segment for weeks, years Yeah, yeah, yeah So I guess Yeah, that makes sense I feel like it's the first time Grizzly bear, fry back to you Bruins, mascot bear Well, we normally do it off air So, and I didn't get to this

[00:01:44] We still record Is there a bear in here? Bear coming through the ceiling I wonder if that was picked up on the mics It's a Thursday question of the week Oh, Thursday question of the week Hey guys, happy Thursday Merry Christmas to you, by the way

[00:02:03] Merry Christmas to you Here's your Thursday question Christmas in July Nope, this is from Pause This is from last December When I was playing another clip I was playing Oh, yay It's a Thursday question of the week Hey guys, happy to say

[00:02:18] I hope you guys are doing good Doing great, man Here's your Thursday question It's chilly outside today Here's your Thursday question of the week If you Thursday already? Dude, if I ran a graphics company And you Watch your language Messed up your graphics so badly

[00:02:31] What could it be? What would you call it? Graph follow up Greek squad Greek squad Greek squad Greek squad, that's a good one Yeah, that's alright If you guys could be any of the 12 Days of Christmas What would it be? What are the 12 Days? Drummer's drumming Nice

[00:02:46] Oh, that was mine Is there a flamingo one? Yes I'll take that one Great Yeah, see how that goes Is there a flamingo one? Yeah Do we have any more? No, that's it You only kept one from December? One Thursday question of the week Oh Hey guys Hey

[00:03:02] Chilly out there, huh? By the way, Reed can't come in today He called me He told me Stanley made it rain I don't even know what that means No Yeah, I don't know what that means Stinks They're running through those cards, man That stinks Happy Halloween

[00:03:13] I don't even know what that means I hope the other guy doesn't use it on the day they're supposed to open that farm-to-table restaurant He's been so excited about that farm-to-table restaurant They've been planting seeds Happy Halloween, by the way, guys What's your favorite famous ghost? One, three

[00:03:31] One, two, three Casper Also my favorite mattress company Spoiler alert Come on Thirty years ago Slimer Thursday question of the week That had a little tag on it Yeah, it did It was because I didn't want it to be confusing You never answer the Thursday question

[00:03:51] No, I just ask Wow I'm hands off You guys know that You sure are It's the Thursday question of the week Hey, guys, how's it going? Hey, Bobby It's time for our 13th birthday parties Finally And Brian, it's time for our 13th birthday parties Yeah, happy birthday

[00:04:13] Go back in time Use the voice Oh, yeah, it's time for our birthday parties Hey, guys, I got a question for you for the Thursday question of the week It's really tough to do with the cameras being what they are

[00:04:23] I got the Thursday question of the week for you Shoot it What's your favorite type of candy bar? Oh, that's easy, Bobby No, it's still Brian I know, I know Bobby's gone I know, but Bobby's gone, it's Brian again I've sued Bobby twice

[00:04:43] Dan, you go to a puberty and your voice is so much lower than ours I'm speaking on behalf Favorite candy bar, baby roof There's the question of the week So that was a weird one That was back when we were 13

[00:04:59] What's loud is right before you queued or someone queued that one up I said, did you ever get to answer one? And then we played one with a different voice So in my head, I'm thinking Sure There's a different voice

[00:05:12] So Brian is going to get to answer the question of the week Turns out that's one from when we were all 13 together When you were 13, I was 22, which means my voice sounds correct Right So Thursday question of the week Cat, hey shut that cat up

[00:05:32] Quiet that cat down She's being everywhere Brian, that's a great question My answer would be 100 grand There's the question of the week We're talking clickbait Why was I talking like that at 10? I don't understand So you guys pulling the clips I think that was a minute 30 to 5 minutes

[00:05:57] To 6 minutes How was the song still you singing when you were an infant? AI, really good question We put it in post Who's recording it? Someone was recording it Someone has recorded everything we've ever done together our whole lives That's true

[00:06:17] From the time you were infant and I was 9 1 half We don't have any more clips We don't have any more They're in the vault Clickbait, that's never going to open too That vault is criminal Enterprise is criminal Clickbait, Disney? The Enterprise of Disney? Yeah, you heard me

[00:06:39] I say that as someone who just recently had to purchase tickets for my family to go to Disney in October Criminal You can't be that magical You're getting reimbursed, right? Yeah, my dad's actually paying for it But on behalf of your parents On behalf of my parents Criminal

[00:06:55] It's like they don't want poor people to go to their park You're in your first everybody Wow That doesn't sound like the Walt Dyno It does actually if you can believe it Clickbait, Unfollowed Originally dropped on Tubi on June 7th, 2024 And it went a little something like this

[00:07:15] It did what? What does it do? Missed that one Still working on it The movie stars It's good, it's good We don't need it Hey I'm Gary, here's your joke of the day Honk honk Y'all are messed up You guys are messed up people

[00:07:35] You guys are messed up people Sick world It's a sick world we're living in, sick How'd you get to the North Pole? You guys have to ride with Scotty again You guys are just mad How's the Starbucks line in the North Pole? Here's the news

[00:07:54] You guys are just mad You guys are just mad that you don't get invited on Christmas morning And you wonder why And you wonder why Our only other show that makes money Hey, Decom Descendants called It's using it's make it ring card Yeah that's crazy

[00:08:17] That's what we did on today's pod I think The movie starts with this mom making her son open up a box for the camera They live stream unboxings And it's a mystery box They were sending Mom is so excited because they're finally being noticed

[00:08:34] And having stuff sent to them Inside of it is a tablet They turn it on And it is an invitation to something called the social mansion And it is They're doing a reality show of sorts With different influencers and what not

[00:08:50] And we see clips of all the other influencers that are going to be on the show And we find out that whoever gets the most followers wins And gets one dollar per new follower That's nice There's a funny girl named Mimi A fashion icon named Peach

[00:09:07] Jerk face Axel Meditation expert who is also really into blood Workout dude Kyle And then of course Mama Julie and her son Parker They all show up to the house And it is a big, big house Lots and lots of room There's a table in there What?

[00:09:32] Can I ask you this? You could put That's what I was going to ask you Dude, I'm ahead of you Math it out Math it out The best way I can extrapolate that food table for you is lots and lots Lots and lots Yeah

[00:09:47] Dude, and can I be honest with you? The thing that I was most excited about Is at the beginning of the movie You see the pool and stuff But what really tickled my fancy Was the yard itself As soon as I see a yard out there

[00:09:59] You think about me Yeah, I do And I'm like after a meal We're going to go outside We'll go outside Throw the pigskin around Play a little football And it's a big, big yard You could do it Yeah So you might be wondering While you're watching this movie

[00:10:12] Whose house is it? It's John's house It's my father's house No one knows who the host is Or where they are No, John's house It's John's house But they have a meal waiting for them And as they start eating They realize that they all have 250,000 followers

[00:10:31] Peach is very uneasy with everything Like where did this meal come from? And then when NDAs gets into the tablets Peach really wants to read through it Before signing it But Gaia is like No, no, no You don't need to do that It's just legal Mumbo-jumbo

[00:10:47] And she comes over And she signs it It doesn't take long for Mimi To have a panic attack Because she hasn't been able to see her Follower count in a while She goes outside She goes outside She takes a nap She talks to Peach

[00:10:59] And now it's time to get started Because the first challenge is afoot They gotta take some pictures With some props They see these creepy guys Standing with Parker They're weird You can't see who they are They're wearing masks and whatnot So they go to the living room

[00:11:13] And they finally see the host via video And it's someone named Sofia And she... A lot It's the big lips Seems like they've had a lot of work done And you're like what's going on here? So Sofia explains the challenge You gotta tell your truth

[00:11:31] In this first challenge So Parker does just that By telling the truth That he doesn't want to be an influencer at all And his mom is peed right the O off That he's coming out here and being so honest All the videos get posted

[00:11:44] And then Parker ends up getting The most new followers After round one Because people love the honesty of this channel Was everybody honest, Brian? No Kyle is a little loser liar And he gets the least amount He actually lost followers in this first round

[00:12:02] So he has to film his goodbye video You're like oh Kyle gets to go home The weird mask people then begin They make him get on a treadmill To record the video And then they put a spiked wall Up against the back of the treadmill

[00:12:17] They begin to turn the speed up of the treadmill And eventually When Kyle can no longer keep up With the speed of the treadmill He falls backwards And is pushed backwards into the spikes Impaling and killing Kyle So that's tough It's at this point that they all realize

[00:12:34] That if they lose They die But they're offered a twist Right then and there They can all decide to leave now But they would all have Their social media accounts deleted They realize that they are so obsessed With their popularity That they would rather risk dying

[00:12:51] Than lose their followers Parker and his mom are next to go They lose And we see that Parker Well we're told that Parker Is inside one of the boxes That they have A casket And mom is given the option You can either take over His social media account

[00:13:11] And run it yourself And you can live Or you can go ahead And get in a box yourself And she says you know what I'm going to keep this going I'm going to take over The social media account So she agrees They move on to the next round

[00:13:23] Which is brand partnership They have to like sell something Mimi's up first And she uses her time To tell people what is happening That they're part of some crazy competition Where people are actually dying And in the process of this She gets shot in the head

[00:13:38] By somebody in a cabinet Gaia realizes that She recognizes the host voice And so she's like How's your sister Shailen? So they cut the feed They turn off the lights And Gaia and Peach Decide they need to go And try to find

[00:13:57] Where the hosts are within the house And Gaia uses this time To catch Peach and us The viewers up to speed The sisters The one on the screen And her sister They owned a social media platform But got bought out Because they wanted The new people wanted to

[00:14:16] Make social media more addicting And so this is their way Of getting payback Like showing that social media Is awful basically So Parker's mom and Axel Join forces And they agree to take out The other two competitors They join forces Do they join forces? Do they join forces?

[00:14:40] They join forces I've been told Earlier this week That I'm not allowed to say more They join forces And they are going to take out The other two competitors So during the next round Gaia ends up losing And is killed via blood Being taken from her

[00:14:58] Because blood's a big part Of her whole thing And the next round They have to vote On who gets to go home next So you think that Axel and Mama Are going to vote for Peach Because they join forces But Mama turns on Axel And she and Peach

[00:15:19] Both vote for Axel So Axel dies in a way That I would say Is significantly more brutal Than anyone else That died in this movie And I'm not even going to describe it It would have been something That Jigsaw would have done In a sawmill

[00:15:35] He would have been so excited About this dream of his This is on par with that kind of stuff Crazy But the graphics aren't as good Graphics aren't as good But a crazy way to die So it all comes down To Peach and Mom

[00:15:47] And they have to do Apology videos And they get in an argument About this And she's like I'm so good at apologizing I'm going to make myself cry And he's like I'm not going to apologize for anything I don't have anything to apologize for

[00:15:58] And they get in a huge argument And then they realize That they were both already live And now everyone realizes How awful and fake The mom actually is And she loses a ton of followers And so Peach wins But uh oh The sisters come down

[00:16:14] And they show Peach That Parker is still alive In a greenhouse Playing soccer as he does As he is And Peach has to decide Whether to save him From gas that they're going to turn on Or die himself So at first he's hesitant

[00:16:30] So they turn on the gas And then he has to change parts So he goes and he saves Parker And makes sure that he comes back to life Wake me up Wake me up inside Wake up Save me Thank you Um so They are going to go

[00:16:44] They push him in the pool And this pool is Going to electrocute them When they turn on this big Big lever Big lever Um and this is when he points out That he didn't actually sign The terms Wow really? Uh that he didn't actually sign

[00:16:59] Oh get out of town We did a full big house bit We ran on his fan We did the honk honk The whole thing So uh It's at this point That he points out That he didn't sign The uh terms And it was actually somebody else

[00:17:12] That signed it for him And so Can't Can't kill me Uh I was never I'm being held here against my will And the other sister is like I don't care Let's turn on the uh The switch anyway And while they're fighting about it Parker goes and

[00:17:27] And kicks a ball towards them Hits them in the face They fall in the pool Peach comes out Turns on the lever They get electrocuted And uh Parker and Peach Go on their own way They do see a box Outside on the road Which uh Peach is like

[00:17:43] Let me take a look at that Inside of it is Uh Parker's mom's head So that's That's how That's how she went And uh Peach is like Nah it's nothing Don't worry about it They go on their own way And I guess they live Totally normal functioning lives

[00:17:58] That's right with no trauma at all And that my friends was Clickbait unfollowed We did it Uh let's take a quick break We'll come back We'll break this movie down Here on Deck the Hallmark Could you be making more noise With your chair right now? Who me?

[00:18:20] I don't hear anything So that means it's not coming through Oh good great Uh it's time for Clickbait unfollowed We're gonna start with a hot tag We're gonna share exactly how we felt About this movie We're not gonna hold back Uh Brian you are now two

[00:18:34] To be movies deep at this point Yup How this movie compared to Earthquake Underground And what you think of it overall Yeah this Qualitatively higher I would say Um More twisted More like On Earthquake Underground was more Like big disaster I wouldn't call this a disaster No

[00:18:54] Movie at all Uh very twisted idea Freaky idea Um but engaging Like I was engaged the whole time I really was wondering What was gonna happen Lots of good twists Like stuff I didn't see coming Which You're right there's a microphone Right there Right there

[00:19:11] Literally every time we record So watch out Just throw this mic around You know just settle down Uh twists Which threw me off I didn't see coming Which I think says a lot For the movie so What were the twists That you didn't see coming I did not

[00:19:23] Well my favorite twist was The live When they didn't know it was live Their apology I thought that was really cool I didn't I don't know if you said it out loud I don't know if you guessed it or No I saw them hit record Right

[00:19:33] So I didn't Realize that And when that Came that it was live I thought that was great Like that's awesome The um There were some other twists too I can't think of Right off the top of my head now This movie's been

[00:19:44] Out of my mind for a little bit now Uh but I remember being surprised A number of times And thinking that's really good Um they did go Hard with the It wasn't too gory But they definitely went With some gore Right Yeah It was like

[00:19:58] It was a little bit like Whoa They went there And so yeah Pretty good overall And uh I had a good time I think Um I mean I Think so I thought it was pretty gory Like Oh They picked their moments It's not gory consistently No no no

[00:20:14] There's like three scenes That are very gory Yeah yeah yeah I just didn't want people to be like Brian told me it wasn't gory And turning it on And then seeing that one scene And going like Yeah there were three scenes Yeah Where they They pay it off

[00:20:26] Yeah And one exceptionally Yeah Gory Just another level Um Yeah It was really really fun I thought that the cast Was great You know Especially If we compare it to Earthquake Underground As the other two movies That we've seen This movie seemed like It was like

[00:20:44] A totally another world Yes Like the performances Were so good Across the board Um And a really interesting story With lots of Uh I think overall For the most part Good payoffs To you know This type of thing Where you're gonna You know Um

[00:21:02] I think it got a little Overly messy A little overly complicated there With like the sisters back story And Um All of that And You know That part was like What Whatever To me Um But the overall Uh Characters And the execution Um Of the game itself

[00:21:24] I thought was Was really fun Um So yeah overall Really pleasantly surprised Uh By How like Good this movie was For you know Cause like You know Go back to Earthquake Underground That movie's not good But I had a lot of fun Yeah This movie

[00:21:41] I also had a lot of fun And it's also like By and large Really really I felt like it was a good movie So there you go Dano Yeah I think Uh Cat Barrel should keep Writing and directing stuff It's a great idea And I think

[00:21:54] There's a lot Positive to say about the movie It's funny It's unique Uh But it has a lot Going for it It does get Really muddled there With The rules of this game Are a little wild to me Especially when you realize That people are actually watching

[00:22:08] And they know that people Are getting murdered Like At that point I don't know how They can keep this game going The sisters Not running the company anymore And trying to boost Likes and watchers To make them look bad Is weird The The motivation

[00:22:22] Of some of these characters By the end of this movie You find out that the mom Is basically The mother Of the kids And the mom Is basically Just like a full on sociopath And I don't know if Some of her actions Throughout that movie Warrant that

[00:22:36] But that's what she is Um Yeah So it It kind of becomes really messy But underneath that If they could have Paired it down By like 15 minutes And made this Like an 80 minutes Sleek Fun Satire Of social media With some really fun Gory kill scenes Not for kids

[00:22:54] This movie's definitely Not for kids But well directed And has some really Fun performances She's fun as the villain There's a lot to like here I think they really Could have streamlined it And made it a little leaner And a little meaner And really had something But Yeah

[00:23:08] Compared to Earthquake Underground An absolute smash hit Yeah Uh It's time for all the feels Oh man What gave Like what was really Moving your heart In this movie Brian Yeah The Well that live stream twist Was really surprising to me So that was a good one But

[00:23:24] At the end of the day They They're all Just Really Good movies And I just really Appreciated that Yeah As As someone who probably Does read the terms and conditions Of everything he signs up for Yeah Yeah Freeze through those Once in a while This guy's like

[00:23:42] Getting digging into When people want him to Allow cookies on a website He's like Digging into like Dude Disable those man Preferences Strictly required only Dude All day Hashtag Everyone Dude All day Trials All Whatever you can do Without a credit card Do it Um So You

[00:24:05] You did mention Dan That they They really By the end of this movie The mom is A full blown sociopath That like just likes Seeing people Die Apparently Uh Which is interesting But I I kind of appreciated it though Because in the In the day in which we

[00:24:21] Live Where there are Legitimately parents That are like Hey We're gonna make you go viral Cause you're cute And you know It just It doesn't sit well with me I don't like it And so having someone like that In this movie That is like Not only is

[00:24:36] She the worst mom She's also the worst person I kind of really appreciated that Cause it's like one thing To be a full grown adult That's like Kinda loses Loses their way And it's like doing Like kind of Uh Doing whatever for money And for fame online

[00:24:49] Like that's your own choice But like There are parents out there That do There are parents out there That do this Make their children's Uh Like open up Gifts and stuff And make funny videos or whatever And put them online And make money And then And it's just

[00:25:04] It's never sat well with me And so I appreciated that They basically said If you're If that's you You're the worst person So I appreciate that My My feels Was actually like Kind of the reverse I just think they could've gone further With almost all of these characters

[00:25:17] Now I know a couple of the kill scenes Are as extreme as they could've gone But I I feel like Instead of landing the plane On the satire And the satire that is Ripe in this movie is All of these people would literally Rather die

[00:25:30] Than not have their quarter million followers That is the Like At the end of the day If you scrape away everything else People Like They're beholden to this thing And It's such a great idea And I felt like Instead of really Hitting a home run with it

[00:25:48] They kind of go out of their way To To try to give you Somebody to root for Weirdly enough Like Peach Peach and the kid And it's like I didn't want to pull for anybody I wanted to watch all these terrible people

[00:26:01] And that way you don't feel bad if they die And you don't know who's gonna Like You find out pretty quickly I did at least Like You know The number one rule is If you don't see the dead body And especially a bad movie

[00:26:12] Or a bad TV show If you don't see the body They didn't actually kill him Like I immediately was like He's not dead There's no way they killed him And then You show Someone inside of A Parker sized box Like pushing up against it Trying to like breathe

[00:26:25] And then eventually they do that But you know Parker's not in it Yeah You know Did you know Parker wasn't in the box? Of course not No You thought they killed a kid that early in the movie? I didn't know that he was I think he was dead

[00:26:35] The one innocent person In the whole thing I was I was surprised I forgot about Parker And then when he came back That was another twist for me I was like Oh Parker's not Oh It's Parker I took it at face value I will say

[00:26:48] That is one thing they had going for him Is they They did that to Parker so early They did it Yeah Even if you think like Oh I wonder if He might not actually be dead By the time the hour comes around You've kind of forgotten Yeah

[00:27:00] Parker because of all the other crazy deaths That happened I just think Between him and then Peach emerges clearly As a good guy Like He clearly emerges as the I actually would be okay If this wasn't my life And I kind of hated that Because I Like

[00:27:13] This movie where you're having these Very graphic bloods And you're like I'm not gonna die I'm not gonna die It's very graphic Bloody kills of these people Like Works better If it is pure satire Where we can laugh And Enjoy the fact that

[00:27:26] We don't know who's gonna win Because they all are equally terrible And so That did ruin it a little bit for me I'll take a quick break We'll come back Yeah We will get to the Wait what And the What The Hallmark here on Take the Hallmark

[00:27:42] Welcome back Thanks It's serious around here guys This is serious It's a serious topic Serious moment It's time for the wait what We don't know We're not gonna mess around We're not gonna goof off We're not gonna ask any more Thursday Questions of the week Right

[00:28:00] Because they're all recorded Yeah We have as many of those We already played all the ones that we have Even the ones from when Bran was in Thursday question of the week Man That must have been like an early version Of the Yeah It's like a little rough

[00:28:11] That sound Guys Who is this This is Bran This is Bran Yeah This is Bran This is Bran This is Bran This is Bran This is Bran Yeah This is that weekend he hung out with Tyler Are you okay Bran Smoking hand rolled cigarettes I'm doing fine

[00:28:27] You doing I got a question for you Okay go ahead If you guys could be a color What color would you be What color would you be Where color would you be What color would you be Which color Which color would you be I think

[00:28:38] I think green is a safe bet Nice man Yeah I like blue Nice Yeah thanks Nice I like blue I like blue I like blue I like blue I like blue Nice Yeah thanks Nice man I have mono You what Thank you Mono finally we get the truth

[00:28:57] Hey do you have a favorite color while we got you He doesn't answer the question Oh okay This is a good one Anyway what's Bran Yeah I had mono I was back when I had mono I think I was 13 Yeah you mentioned that Yeah I think I was 13

[00:29:07] The kissing disease Oh look at you I wasn't from Look at you go Bran It wasn't from kissing We all know that I didn't get it from kissing You were fooled Bran I was trying to help you out I know I just wanted to get ahead of it

[00:29:18] I'm sorry I just wanted to get ahead of it Before the people online have their fun and go oh yeah that's so funny Like I get it I know I get it Bran didn't kiss anyone but he loved to lick a water fountain Yes

[00:29:31] He lived to lick a water fountain Still to this day out in the hallway in our office We had one installed right Pull him off of the water fountain Let's go Because he is just tongue that Lee Yeah I don't know I don't know Lee

[00:29:47] Milo cannot air that I'm telling you to do that Lee Milo cannot air that Okay but if we see that later in the group I said lick a water fountain and what you did was more graphic than this movie

[00:29:58] No what I was doing was I was putting the whole No no The whole fixture in my mouth Yeah we know what you were doing Your jaw just unhanded Wow Guys you can't do anything funny anymore You perverts in here

[00:30:12] You guys are out here trying to make me look bad Bran in that video what you just did is not because of me and Bran Boy Anyway let's Yeah We're gonna have to fire Bran No change the term and condition so people can't screenshot the videos

[00:30:34] We need to change the terms Can we add that? It's on filo You just did something No but yes it's on filo but I don't want it in clipped out In perpetuity I don't want people to just be out there In clipped out Then you'll stop doing it

[00:30:48] I'm adding the time We've never had terms and conditions before I'm not agreeing No Lee you can clip that all you want to buddy By the way did you get a text last week a random text from a number you don't know? What? That said a funny phrase

[00:31:03] You didn't get this? It was from Lee Lee texted you a really funny text Okay I just was reminded of it Alright cool this is really good for audio and video Yeah it was a funny text Off the look sorry I messed that up for everybody

[00:31:16] Go ahead Brian Clip it though Lee Clip it up If we can just put that together with the other two it's just going to be We have actually two against three if the board votes on the terms and conditions I feel like my weight was for this movie

[00:31:32] Kyle wasn't super ripped for a fit dude Here we go over here This guy He was in great shape I will say of the three of us to make this Wait what? Brian is the one that could make it that's true

[00:31:46] He was in great shape but just not Do you want to show us what you got? No no I don't look as good as Kyle Absolutely not Yeah but you're not supposed to be in a movie Right Like we see Marcus Rosner Dude he's shredded

[00:32:00] And then this guy is supposed to be the buff dude And you're like Where's the buff dude? Every Hallmark actor could go and do that Maybe it was because he was supposed to be an up and coming They didn't want him to be too ripped

[00:32:12] But it would have been funnier to me if he were a real roided out guy Like in Glass Onion Yeah Someone like that And the budget there is very similar to this budget You can work around that type of stuff

[00:32:23] It seemed like Kyle was a stand in for the guy they wanted to actually be the guy And then they realized they couldn't get that guy And so they just made the movie with him His personality was really good He felt sincerely

[00:32:35] You could tell he was empathetic towards the kids So he was good in that role but just not super ripped And then what else we got here I lost Oh there they are Oh yeah so when he was on the treadmill He kept kind of really light

[00:32:48] It was a real slow jog first of all Like he could have done that for a while He was barely moving Could have done that for a while But also you can step off the treadmill Easily You can just step right off

[00:32:58] And these guys like this sort of rolls into another way Which was like I feel like these people could have taken those Whatever they were called Those guys The dressed up guys They could have just made a plan Sneak attack Round them up Strangle hold

[00:33:12] Whatever you gotta do They could have taken these guys Like I feel like they could have over But also Maybe I've escaped the social house What's the big deal But the treadmill kill in general For a number of reasons Is the worst kill in this movie Yeah

[00:33:27] Number one The treadmill is maybe on like four and a half Oh man no incline either It's nothing Just flat run Second of all You can step off on either side of that treadmill No question No problem Easy And third

[00:33:42] He would have looked behind him at some point It just doesn't add up That he's just gonna catapult himself to get impaled He went flying Yeah Flying And yeah These dudes don't have guns They have tasers That's it And they seem like really Like just doofuses really

[00:33:56] I mean you could take these guys Or try They didn't even try to overthrow And then so her face got ruined Wrecked from a chair being thrown at her I think that's what her sister said She threw a chair at the two sisters Okay

[00:34:09] One of the ones who had the wrecked face Cat Burrell's character Her sister threw a chair at her And that's what happened to her face Oh I thought she just kept getting work and couldn't stop The original injury was a chair to the face And then yeah

[00:34:21] Then she just She couldn't get it the way she wanted It just seems like not the type of damage That a chair would require That type of work So yeah other than that Pretty rock solid for me They didn't Speaking of the work

[00:34:34] The movie kicks off with this title card That shows her getting all this work done to her face They didn't have to go that hard They went so hard right out of the gate We weren't prepared We just saw this kid doing an unboxing video

[00:34:50] And the next thing you know It's just like staples to the face Ripping skin Man it was gnarly It was the hardest I've ever seen a title sequence go It was just right out of the gate They really went for it I think the first giveaway

[00:35:06] That something was up Was when you walk in and you see that there's a 10 year old there Like everyone else is adults And then there's a 10 year old That should have been the first clue That this isn't above board No reality show would be like

[00:35:22] Alright we're gonna get 95% adults One 10 year old Throw them in the mix Mix them in there with all the alcohol and the what not It'll be fine It'll be totally groovy Nothing weird is gonna happen at all That should have been the first sign that something's not right

[00:35:43] The kid has been in a greenhouse Kicking a soccer ball all day And I know he says he loves soccer Corner kick That's a lot of soccer At some point when you're told Hey stay here in this greenhouse Here's a soccer ball

[00:36:04] At some point you try to get out Where he goes something's not right here The good news is it's glass I can break down a wall or something He sits there When they come out He's still just kicking the ball to himself

[00:36:16] It's like he doesn't know anybody else exists in the world Yeah this is totally normal This is what adults do sometimes They stick you in a greenhouse For a whole day And they say have fun with this ball In this little patch in between all of the holes

[00:36:29] Yeah this little area is fine Dano? Yeah so one of the deaths involves them draining all the blood out of someone We don't need to get into specifics But when they show you very specifically them draining the blood They don't have someone stick a needle in a vein

[00:36:46] They just stick a needle right into somebody and start draining blood out And that's just not fundamentally how that works You have to find a vein They just literally just grind In your torture experience It takes longer Yeah you gotta find a vein

[00:37:00] You can't just stick a needle in and hope for the best I wish That's crazy Imagine that Imagine how easy it would be at that point The movie really starts to break down when Maya's character Literally says they're holding us hostage And they're murdering us one by one

[00:37:17] Live on social media And then she gets shot live on social media And that social media platform does nothing It doesn't shut down It doesn't go hey does anybody have eyes on Maya? Was this a bit? Nobody's looked for Maya If this happened on Instagram

[00:37:39] The fallout would be crazy And it doesn't even matter It's not even a blip on the radar in this movie She basically says they're holding us hostage We're being killed one by one Get shot live There are people watching it and liking and commenting

[00:37:56] Nobody calls a police officer Nobody does anything And Parker's mom keeps talking about Parker accidentally in the past tense And none of the followers are like Can we get a visual on Parker? We'd like to see him It's ridiculous My biggest frustration with this movie

[00:38:15] And Cat Beryl if you're listening Which God love you if you're listening There are some of the most imaginative kills in this movie Like throughout the movie The treadmill one is a little bit mad But it's still imaginative The idea that the treadmill goes so fast

[00:38:30] You just get catapulted off and get impaled Like the blood one, very imaginative The way that your boy dies Axel, not my boy It's imaginative There are some very imaginative fun kills here There is one character that by the end You hate with a fiery burning passion

[00:38:51] It is the mom It's the only character Obviously we don't want anybody to die in real life But in this movie you're like Finally she's going to get her comeuppance What she did to her kid All that stuff Bran said in his feels

[00:39:04] What she did to her kid What she did to all these other people She's the worst of the worst of the worst And we don't get to see her get killed All these fun imaginative torturous things that happen

[00:39:15] You're like oh my gosh I can't believe I watched that And then the one person that you're like How are they going to kill her You don't get to see it They don't show you They just kill her off screen somewhere And that was unfortunate

[00:39:28] It's time for what the Hallmark story We wonder what could have been Maybe have to get some clarity Any questions that we still have Brian what are you still wondering about buddy? The big one was just those workers What's their deal? Where do you find

[00:39:39] Is that a ZipRecruiter thing? Yes Where do you find these people And they seem like just so easy to just be run over I wasn't impressed by them I always think about the crew in movies like this Where there's one central bad guy

[00:39:57] But he has people behind him That do all the dirty work for him And it's like Come on Dan It's like one How much are you paying to do this? And why would you trust them? They're bad guys We all know they're going to kill

[00:40:12] But also in this case They're even more expendable Because they have masks on No one knows who they are It's not like when there's a handful of baddies Helping the big baddy This is a handful And we don't know who they are

[00:40:26] So I guess if you make a mistake See ya See ya later No one's going to know Because we don't know who you are So that's tough That is tough But also not getting paid enough To clean up that stuff The guts Not getting paid enough

[00:40:40] No way no how Yeah I guess my question is In the backyard The pool scene The lever That takes place Where they go And they turn on the lever Brian do you think That they at any point in time When installing the lever Went

[00:41:01] What's this going to be used for? Did no one Or did they do that in house? Like I don't know And why was the lever so big? It was a giant lever It would make me Because everything else I felt like They could have figured out in house

[00:41:18] You know Although that weird The spike wall Put some spikes on a wall It's a DIY situation The electrocution lever was giant It seemed like something That you would have to have installed It just seems like Someone would ask some questions Dano?

[00:41:35] Yeah so I have a lot of questions About these sisters And just the genesis of All of their stuff But I can boil it down to this Their big plan here Is After this is over They're going to Release a video montage That they've created

[00:41:54] Maybe they'll play like Five for Fighting in the background And they're going to play All of the kills back to back And they're going to post it on social They'll probably get flagged For the music On the winners But my whole thing is Number one, why? Number two

[00:42:18] It's going to get pulled immediately By the people in charge at social Like immediately The best question is Does this social media platform Take place in our current world or not? Because in our current world It would get pulled If it's in some sort of

[00:42:38] Alternate world where we've Really gone down the rabbit trail Of letting social media control us Like are we further Further gone than we currently are In the world in which this movie takes place Because if it does Maybe at a certain point Social media could in theory

[00:42:57] Get to the point where If it makes money You can keep it on there So it doesn't matter if it's good or not There's platforms out there That's their whole thing It's like we're not going to So in theory If there's a social media platform That's taking off

[00:43:11] And making a bunch of money They could leave the video But that actually goes back To my first one then Which is why Because they're not making Any money from this video The whole point is They're going to put it on there And they're going to show you

[00:43:24] How bad social media has become And it's like Well you just killed a bunch of folks I'm not sure it can get any worse Than what you just did So I don't know It just kind of got messy there And the idea that you're going to

[00:43:39] Put a montage of all the kills On somebody's page Is crazy to me Fair We did everybody Congratulations We're back tomorrow With another Best Of The holiday season from 2023 And if six hours was too long for you I've got good news This one's about half that

[00:43:57] It's about half of that So yeah It's nothing We weren't very funny over the holidays No we were Well it's also less time But mainly not funny We'll be back tomorrow with that Until then Remember the first to wish you a Merry Christmas Deck the Hallmarks

[00:44:10] A Bramble Jam Podcast Is produced by Aaron Shay What? For more information on Deck the Hallmark You can go to deckthehallmark.com For more information On the Deck the Hallmark family You can go to bramblejamplus.com Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV

[00:44:22] For a free trial of Philo Go to philo.tv slash dth You're about to hear some ads That help keep the lights on Here in the old studio Thanks for listening Or don't listen It's really up to you at this point It's at the end of the show

[00:44:44] I mean you're listening to me Hi But here they come I promise they're coming Yep Here they are Happy day