Dashing Through the Snow (2025)

[00:00:03] This is Deck The Hallmark Hi, I'm Bran and I love Christmas action movies I'm Dan and I despise Christmas action movies I'm Alonzo and y'all are not making August any easier And this is Deck The Hallmark Podcast Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast With Dan and Friends host this podcast

[00:00:33] We hope you like this jolly podcast Oh boy I don't know what you're talking about Could we safely say that August is the January of Festive Fridays? Yes, because usually January is like stuff that was in theaters recently The best of the best

[00:01:02] And January for theatrical releases, not as much anymore It used to be a dumping ground Oh for sure, yeah So it works both ways But yes, August is the January of Festive Fridays It's the cruelest month Yeah, Bran looked We did a double feature to pull back the curtain a little bit And at one point during that double feature Bran looked over to me and he goes I guess I'm somewhat to blame And I was just My words to him were choice And I can't repeat them on this show Somewhat doing a lot of lifting Yeah, a lot of lifting there

[00:01:32] Yeah, like Alonzo and I got together And we're like, what about this one? No No Speaking of theatrical, I know that we're getting Violent Night 2 this holiday season A Christmas movie going to theaters in December A choice that I guess they're fine with, I guess But the trailer looked really fun So I'm back And I love the first one So I'm in on this Ditto, I'm on board

[00:01:59] And everybody mark your calendars for January or February of 2027 When I will make Bran watch the new Pedro Almodóvar movie Which is called Bitter Christmas Have you seen it? No, I can't wait though Well, I was going to ask you Do we know of any other theatrical Christmas releases aside from that one? I know that's the big budget one But I'm sure there's a couple Yeah, there are a few There's a film called, I want to say like The Chaperones or something

[00:02:25] That re-teams Cooper Hoffman and David Johnson from The Long Walk Okay I believe that's a Christmas movie This is a good Sleepy Kitty Paw question Right, of course There's like three or four around the band, I believe Put up the signal We need Sleepy on deck at all times Of various, various, like, you know, big biggies And also like some indie stuff And so, yeah, we'll have our work cut out for us I reached out to a

[00:02:54] I feel like he'll be fine saying this I reached out to Michael Rady When I saw the news Of him being in a new Christmas movie this year I was like, I can't wait And he's like, how do you know this? And then I just screenshotted Sleepy Kitty Paw's post And I was like, I don't know how they know it But it's out there, brother Yeah But it's out there, brother They know all, see y'all Can you like honestly review the new Almodóvar movie? Like, Almodóvar making a Christmas movie

[00:03:22] Is like Oppenheimer for me Like I studied in college Favorite director Like this is what Alonzo Couldn't be more my jam I mean, yes I'm not It's already The film verdict already reviewed it Because it premiered at Cannes this year But yeah, I'll be talking about it on podcasts Okay Yeah, yeah, yeah I will do my best to review My favorite director making a film In my favorite subgenre Alright, we'll have to figure out how to sneak it in Because the original plan was in 27 To go and do all the Countdown to Christmas movies

[00:03:51] We haven't done from the back catalog Oh, right, true, yes But I think we can sneak in a few Oh, we're watching it But also if Alonzo gives it a thumbs down Then I'll know it's one of the worst movies ever I'm trying to be as impartial as possible Of course Have I seen a movie by this? You do an amazing job Have I seen a movie by this director? Um They're all in Except for one They're all in Spanish with subtitles So I'm going to guess All About My Mother was a fairly big deal No, I haven't heard of it No

[00:04:18] The Room Next Door from a couple years ago Was in English It starred Julianne Moore and Tilda Swinton Is The Skin I Live In Antonio Banderas? Is that him? It is Antonio Banderas in that one, yes But that's Almodovar, right? That's Almodovar That would have been his widest release Maybe in South Carolina Like that one came out and was here for a few weeks Yeah, Pain and Glory was pretty big Pain and Glory Yep These are the three that I've seen I'm striking out guys, I'm sorry It's all about my mother I watched for film and a movie And it is phenomenal Yeah I mean, so good I'll tell you

[00:04:47] Brandon, if you could deal with the subtitles I can deal with subtitles I would start you with Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown Which is a very, very funny movie I've not seen that one I need to watch that one It's a great, great comedy All right So that one's super accessible That's a good place to start with him And then, you know We'll dig right into this new one Well, we gotta talk about Dashing Through the Snow first Pretty much Yeah, we do Now, Dashing Through the Snow This is not Andrew Walker's Dashing Through the Snow Debbie McComber's, if you will

[00:05:16] This is not the Dashing Through the Snow That came out on Disney Plus A couple years ago That we also reviewed We reviewed all the Dashing Through the Snow This is our third Plus one crash Not stop now Yeah, that's right It felt like we had to We're a completionist here Sure This is a Dashing Through the Snow That came out on November 13, 2025 To various streamers And it went a little something like this The movie kicks off with a Santa and his elves In costume, of course Not the real Santa and his elves

[00:05:44] They're up on a mountain Getting ready to snipe a woman What the heck, Santa? Cut to 12 hours earlier We're gonna find out how we got into that pickle in the first place We meet Mary Mary is pregnant, a little on the nose And single and spending Christmas in the woods Mary, did you know? She did know She's spending Christmas alone in the woods for some reason We then meet Joe

[00:06:12] Joe is a U.S. Marshal Well, she was a U.S. Marshal She ends up getting fired Oh, just kidding I don't think she is fired? Question mark She is going to try to find the wife of this fugitive That they just captured Well, technically they didn't capture him A bounty hunter did But that's neither here nor there We gotta find out where this guy's wife is That wife is Mary

[00:06:40] And so Joe gets to Mary's place And Mary is pumped to see her Because she thinks that Joe is her midwife She is getting ready to go into labor She's in fact gonna get induced So that she has this baby on Christmas Which is something I guess you could do Mary realizes that she's not the midwife And Joe tells her who she really is She tries to make a run for it And when she gets outside The bounty hunters are there To make matters worse

[00:07:10] It seems like Mary's husband Has hired hitmen to kill her So Mary and Joe have to work together Now we're back at the beginning of the movie, folks And they're able to And they're able to fend off the bounty hunters And the hitmen for a while at least We find out that the bounty hunter Offered Joe $100,000 to help them But she can't be bought Integrity matters to her, okay? Well, unfortunately for her

[00:07:40] It does not matter to her partner Her partner does give in to this deal And turns out that he's been working With the bounty hunters for a while Giving them tips and whatnot It all comes out when Joe is on a FaceTime call With her doctor brother Who is helping her walk through How to check how far along Mary is in labor Now her partner is holding her family hostage As the bounty hunter comes in

[00:08:09] And shoots Joe and takes Mary She stitches herself up She tracks them down at the airport nearby Calls her boss for backup Because she still has a job And unfortunately, Mary goes into labor In this plane hangar thing And it's a mess Joe is going to help deliver this baby The ex-husband And ex-husband's new boo thing shows up And we find out that the boo thing

[00:08:38] Is actually the one Who put the hit out on Mary And she ends up taking What she thinks is the baby Turns out It's fake baby And they go up in the plane And the plane ends up crashing Bad for them But everybody else is safe Yay! The movie ends With the original Santa Hitman Hitman opening his eyes Because he's alive

[00:09:05] And that, my friends, was Dashing through the snow 2025 edition We did it We did do it Alright, let's take a break We'll come back We will break this movie down With four segments here on Deck the Hallmark Welcome back, everybody We're talking about the 2025

[00:09:34] Christmas action movie Dashing through the snow It's time for us to break this movie down With four segments We're going to start with the hot take Because we're going to share exactly How we felt about this movie I will start with you, Alonzo Alonzo, did this one pass you by last year? Or did you start it? Somehow, yes This escaped my notice I never know with you, brother Sometimes we do this And you're like I actually saw 30% of this movie Yeah, no Would that it were still not in my notice

[00:10:04] But I've noticed it now I have watched the whole thing I mean, look The idea of two women Doing Midnight Run at Christmas Is not the worst pitch No You know, the mismatched buddy cop You know, fugitives thing And throw in a pregnancy And make it Christmas And call them Mary and Joe I mean, sure, sure, fine But man, you gotta do it better than this

[00:10:31] The execution here is like It is execution in the other sense of the word And that it is deadly Yeah, it's not funny It's not exciting It's ham-fistedly put together And has no sense of rhythm Or suspense or anything else Or characterization It's not Yeah Yeah Yeah I had a thought

[00:11:00] While I was watching this Which was We get a lot of Low budget Low, low budget Micro budget If you will Christmas movies Because it lends itself Really well to it But We don't get a lot of Low budget Action movies Like this Like this That's exactly right, Dan I think we found out in this movie Why we don't see that very often Because it is really hard To get you to buy in To this action

[00:11:29] To the situation at hand For us to be concerned about Mary And to care about The budding friendship Of Joe and Mary And That's not the case With a romance A romance If the chemistry is there And the actors are okay Then I will buy in And the snow And the lights It helps But the snow And the lights Don't necessarily help In this case It was It was tough

[00:11:59] It was tough And also just like Over Overly complicated It was convoluted There was Too Too many layers Of this The hitman The bounty hunter The partner gone rogue It's just like Too The estrangement From the brother Yeah, the estrangement From the brother The ex-husband Convict Yeah It was just too many things And I think That this very well Could have been Like what if Mary Just

[00:12:28] Like what if she Was the criminal And she is having a baby And that is Like Why did the hitman Have to get involved here I don't know But it was a lot And none of it Was particularly good I didn't mind Like the performances Of Joe and Mary I thought that Like the two of them At a certain point I was like Okay These two are okay But everything else Around it I thought was pretty Pretty unfortunate Dano

[00:12:57] Such a kind read By you I mean like It's just always Above and beyond In giving everyone The benefit of the doubt For everything This movie sucks Like I know Like I do Contrary to popular belief In 2000 episodes Of this program Like I do appreciate Like a scrappy Really low budget Making the most Of what you have Attempt at something I just Like I When we started This podcast I would say Things like Why don't they Try to make a

[00:13:26] You know On this movie Or like these Genre movies And this is a Great example Of why you do not Try to do that I still would love To know how long David Koechner Was on set And how much He got paid To be there Because it does Feel like They did have A specific Vision for this Movie And then they Decided If we get One guy That people Have seen And you know Like unless You're at the Upper echelon Of the A or B

[00:13:56] List in Hollywood Like you're Taking these roles Like if they Meet your quote Exactly Like if they Meet the number Like you'll You know I Working Like being In Reno And watching Chris Palaha Direct mimics And he had Jonathan Frakes To do a role And Jonathan Frakes Had a conflict And couldn't do it And then he got Chris Parnell Right And neither of Those folks Necessarily Like he Jonathan Frakes Did know Chris From Biltmore Christmas

[00:14:26] But he just got Will Chris Parnell From making A quote Like that happens But like I think They're really Counting on That Hanging their Hat on This one Thing Whereas The movie The camera Does not Stop moving In this movie Like my Head hurt Like they Watched a bunch Of Tony Scott Movies And they were Like anybody Could do that Hand me a Camera And it's A really Tough watch It's hard To do They want You to watch A labor Scene

[00:14:56] Gunshot Straight to The head Someone Sewing Them A wound Up On their Own body Those are Really hard Things to do When your Budget is Eight dollars In a dream It's hard To do Those things Shooting Down a Plane Yeah I just Like So it's A very Tough watch And this Is one of Those movies That You're not Wrong The pitch Of the movie Is a fun Pitch But every Minute after 70 minutes This movie Goes

[00:15:25] The worst That the Totality Of it Gets Because You just The opening Scene Kind of Is the Moot Like you Get to See a Like the Day before Christmas A gun Fight And a Drone shot Of the Gun fight Out in The street And then From that Point forward The movie Gets less And less Novel And less And less Believable And less And less Interesting And it Just becomes Like wins It like A classic Watch looker Where you're Just trying To get done

[00:15:54] With it And that's Unfortunate Because It shouldn't Be that It shouldn't Be boring But it Was It's time For all the Feels We're talking About what In this movie Gave us Feels I'll start With you Alonzo I did I did Have one Laugh Early on Where The The Where Joe Is spying On her Strange Brother And her Niece And she's Telling the Partner On the Walkie The tree Is being Decorated And he Thinks That's like Code for Something

[00:16:33] Love at Christmas Love at Christmas

[00:17:03] They Utilized The Heck Out Of A Drone And Some of It is Unnecessary But I Will say I do Feel like Drones Like why Are more Low budget Movies Not using Their own Aerial footage With a Drone Like everybody Uses the Same B-roll Of Establishing Shots And it's like Get out there With a drone And just Capture some Stuff of The Like we Knew That that Was Mary's Like it Comes in Far

[00:17:31] And they Do a Thing where The drone Goes in Through the Door And that Was Unnecessary But like Just to Show us Where we Actually are Like help Us actually Understand the Place in Which these Characters are Living because Guys there's The same ones Over and over Again when you Watch these Movies and so Let's get some New footage out There and just Throw a drone Out there and Call it a day Alright the Feels for the Drone great Pour one out Good I did Forget that

[00:18:01] The problem with The way What's are Really trying To do the Deck the Homework Treatment of This movie is Is that every Time you think This movie is A serious Action movie They remind You that It's kind Of a Like they're Everything is Kind of played For laughs In this movie It's not fair Not fair for a Couple reasons Because one You're not Anytime you Want to take It seriously They kind of Remind you not To buy what Someone's wearing Or what someone Says but also It's not very Funny and so That hurts too But early on In that first Action scene These two cops Come around the

[00:18:31] Corner and this Guy's like yeah And I did this For 50 grand What's that as a Cop your whole Year's salary And the guy Goes well like 56 With benefits And I did Think that Was funny I was like I don't know What movie I'm watching Yet but that Is funny That's a funny Line but then From there That point Forward the Comedy didn't Land with me At all so There's that All right Let's take One more Break Come back We'll get To the Way what And the What the Hallmark Here on Tag the Hallmark

[00:19:03] We're back Hi everybody We're talking Dashing through The snow Today from 2025 It's time For the Wait what Just where We're talking About what In this We made Let's go Wait what I'll start With you Alonzo So the Movie opens With Mary In her cabin She's decorating The tree And she's Talking to Her unborn Child and Saying that Like oh Next year I'm gonna Have all These ornaments That are Gonna Commemorate Everything And she Mentiones First poop And y'all Are parents No

[00:19:33] First poop Happen within The first Few hours Ideally You actually Have to have Some sort Of poop Before you Leave the Hospital That's right Like all The things Have to be Working Yeah Right So it's Sort of Like I Don't know If that's The thing That people Necessarily rush To bronze You know No I Don't think So I Don't think That's up There on The list Okay I had To look This up Because when The whole Thing of Like the Her birth Coach her

[00:20:03] Doola is Is a man I was like Is that even A thing And it turns Out yes It is a thing So I'll Come on Alonzo I didn't Know I wasn't Sure But Classic Alonzo Stuck in The olden Days Indeed You know They're called A midwife No look It's great I'm all For inclusion In this Department But We are Then expected To believe

[00:20:33] That Sasha The midwife Would attempt To murder Joe To keep Her from Taking his Place in The cabin And like Is trying to Strangle her At one point With lights I'm like So is this Guy a combo Doola And executioner Like he Handles him At both ends Basically And a coyote So he's moving This baby And mom Into safety And a DJ Oh yes Right Right Yes So midwifing Is not his

[00:21:03] Only gig Yeah Sasha contains Multitudes That's right His business Card Continued On track That's right That's right That is the Fastest delivery On record Like you talked About how When she gives Birth in the Hangar It's a mess It is technically Not a mess That's true Not really What would Actually be Happening And it happens Real fast I'm sorry If we ever Did a clip Show of Highlights Of these Movies

[00:21:32] Scotty Thompson Shooting a Handgun At a plane And somehow Hitting the Gas bank Dude Yeah Die hard 2 Eat your heart Out Exactly Would have To be up There Yeah John McClane Could never And then And then Finally The shocker Ending with Santa being Alive and Coming back And you know Like oh Great let's Set up a Sequel Because we're All dying To have That happen Yeah That's Worst Worst Shock ending Ever Like even

[00:22:01] Shyamalan Would be Like yeah No You heard The music And I was Like this Thing's almost Over right I have to Imagine it Was only Because they Knew that Everybody would Be wondering Wait that's It for him Like he's The like Only real Person of Any sort Of notoriety I feel like In this movie And so when He got Stabbed and Died I was Like that Did they Really just kill Him that Quick like He's on screen For less than Five minutes Of this movie So I feel Like it was More of a Like And I guess He did commit To a sequel

[00:22:31] Let's remind People that We did it That we got This guy I mean he I mean he He committed To it as Much as He knew They made His number This time Like I Just but Like this If everybody Was on their P's and Q's and And staging And everything Was set Kechner could Have done His scenes In under An hour Like under An hour Like he Was not It's barely In this movie Crazy A crazy Thing that They set That sequel Up with that Character That's the Good thing About being A sniper Is that

[00:23:01] You can't Operate at A distance From everyone Else That's right You don't have To be in The same Shot That's right Anything else I'm sure Y'all will Have plenty I mean this Is another Movie where They keep Talking about The storm And we Do finally Get like We do get Some snow At the end Of this movie But boy Howdy They keep Talking about We got to Get this Done before The storm And I'm Just not Not buying It Early in This movie She's looking At pictures Of her Ex

[00:23:30] And then She throws Her phone Onto the Couch Which triggers A like On that Picture Crazy Crazy I told Dan That's like When you Throw a Gun And it Shoots And it's Like I Guess Maybe It could Happen But boy It's Tough luck When she Opens up When Mary Opens up The door And sees Joe She's like She comments On her Sweater And then She says I love Your I've been In here And I Knitted Mine No you Did not Mary You did Not

[00:24:01] Knit That sweater I can Guarantee You not And She Mary Ends up Getting in Contact with Joe's brother Who is a Doctor And she Did that By taking Mary's Phone And contacting Him on Her behalf Which Leads me to Believe that This U.S. Marshal Doesn't have A password On her Phone Or even A face ID Nothing Just like

[00:24:31] If you Get it You know What If you Take my Phone You deserve It You've Earned it Have at It Kiddo And That's It For me Dano Yeah Early In this Movie Mary At her House There Is a Popcorn Dish In the Middle Of the Couch Like Like I don't Know How else To say This Like Even If You Are Sitting Eating Popcorn You Wouldn't Put Not A bowl Like A dish Where The Popcorn Is on Top Of It Any Movement And It's Spilling And Then We See

[00:25:01] A shot Of It By It And You're Like Who Keeps Popcorn In The Middle Of Their Couch Like Are You Just You Just May As Put The The Kernel Straight In The Cushion What's The Mattress With The Wine Glass Yeah Look At This Couch The Weight Transfers Crazy It's Unbelievable We Watch Our Lead Put A Snowflake Over The One Day Till Christmas And Say I Really Hope We Get A White Christmas Are The Dopplers Broken I Mean At That Point You Would Probably Know At Least What Your Chances Were

[00:25:30] I Think Hope's Not Even In The Equation You Pretty Much Narrowed It Down Maybe I'm Missing This There's A There's A Boss In This Movie Who's I I'm Not Going To Comment On The Acting You Can Go Watch For His But He Threatens To Fire Someone In All Of His Scenes I Think It's Supposed To Be Funny Is

[00:26:12] Oh Right I Was Like I Think It's Like An Anime Thing Okay Cause There's 47 Ronin That Keanu Reeves Was In And It He

[00:26:42] Doing Why Is He Wearing It Um None Of These People Have Ever Seen A Prison Or A Police Station Never These Interrogations Are Taking Place In Like Probably Bonus Rooms And Households Like They're Not Taking Place Anywhere Near Anything That Looks Like A Police Station David Kechner Comes In As Sniper Santa And Proceeds To Fight With This Dude And It Takes Him Three Attempts To

[00:27:16] Decelerating Like Not Wanting To Hurt Him It's A Tough Watch You Should Go Check It Out There's A Guy In The Woods That Uses A Cell Phone In This Movie That Zach Morris Used In Saved By The Bell It Is A Giant Clunky Like Brick Yeah Yeah I don't Know If They Think We Think It's Like A Sat Phone And They're In The Middle Of Now We're In The United States Of America I Don't Know Why You Would Need A Phone That's An Antique To In Order To

[00:27:46] You Know And I Think We Have To Bring Up The Wonderful Wild World Of Accents That Take Place In This Movie There Are Two Or Three Choices That Are Made By Individuals That Are Just Hysterical That's All I I Figured Out Ronan Dan What Is Operatives Veterans To Help With Like Weapons Trainings But This Is The Shirt That's

[00:28:16] It Yeah That Is The Shirt That Is Definitely The Shirt Which Is Cool But I Mean Was It Casual Friday He's At Work He Has Come Up With A Full Back Story For His Character It's Christmas Eve And It's Where We Wonder What Could Have Been Maybe Happened Because The Question We Still Love What Are We Still Wondering About I Mean Obviously We're All Wondering Is Sequel Did

[00:28:46] Santa Live We Know That So What Else Alonzo Are We Meant To Understand That A Year Later Mary Is Now Pregnant With The Brother's Baby I Don't I Didn't Get There Was Something About That Last Moment Of Family Togetherness That Made Me Feel Like A Mary And The Brother Had Gotten Together And B She Was Now Pregnant With His Kid And Also Taking Care Of The Baby That

[00:29:15] She Had I Missed That All Together Okay Maybe That's Just That Was Just My We Got The You Got The Director's Clearly Wait Mary And Joe's Brother Yes Fascinating That That's How I Read It Maybe I Maybe By That Point The Movie Had Officially Broken My Brain Yeah Yeah Wow That's Crazy Yeah I Just Want To Know So They Do An Interesting Thing Here Where When The Baby Is First

[00:29:45] Born We Only See Like The Very Tippy Top Of Baby's Head Right And Then Like Ten Minutes Later I'm Like Oh We're Just Never Going To See This Baby So That's Fine Right But Then They Do Show Us What Is Some Sort Of Baby And Baby's Tush And Then A Really Really Close Up Shot Of Baby's Face What Is All Of That What Like They're Waiting For First

[00:30:15] Poop That's Right Big Deal We Gotta Tush Out But Like I Honestly Like It A Baby Doll In The Traditional Sense Was It One Of Those Like Hyper Realistic Babies Or Like And Then Was The Footage Of The Baby's Face Like B-roll Of Someone Else's Random Baby I Don't Know I Don't Maybe They Borrowed The Stuffie From Married Little Baby Possibly

[00:30:45] Possibly I Just That Whole Thing Was Crazy Because When The Baby Comes Out They Like Refuse To Show You Baby And I'm Like Oh They're Just Not Gonna Do It Yeah No But Then They Scenes In This Movie Like There Is An Early Actions And I Know That That's Kind Of A Shot At The Movie

[00:31:15] But There's An Early I Said This While Watching It A Guy Gets Shot In The Head In This Movie Early On And Obviously They Don't Have The Special Effects To Pull That Off The The Lifetime Gunshot Where Like It's Just The Fake Stuff

[00:31:45] Coming Out Blue Flame Coming Out Of Take The Foot Off The Gas You Know What Mean That's What I Got Well Congratulations To Us That

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