Deck the Lifetime Uncorked - 12 Men of Christmas (Lifetime - 2009) ft. Patrick Serrano

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Bramble and I love Lifetime Christmas movies! I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm liking Christmas movies more. I'm Dan and I despise Lifetime Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark podcast! Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast. With an infant host, this podcast.

[00:00:23] We hope you like this jolly podcast. Yes, yes, yes! People around the world are standing up. They are excited. They are cheering because we're talking about 12 Men of Christmas. I'm shook a little bit because ever since I've known Patrick Serrano, he has introduced himself on this podcast as,

[00:00:48] Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm a Lifetime movie expert. Well, what was your first impression of this podcast? Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I'm a Lifetime movie expert. What was it? The first week of July, he said he's not ready for Christmas. He's not ready where he did?

[00:01:02] Yes. So maybe I just made that up in my head. Well, you know, I am a Lifetime movie expert, but since Christmas... That hasn't changed! Yes, of course. Since Christmas in July, I'm mixing it up a little bit. Mixing it up. Experiment.

[00:01:16] We know the New York Times said that I'm a Lifetime expert. It sure did. You remember the Wall Street Journal put us in their paper and we went to find an actual copy? Physical paper. Impossible. We had to go to Barnes & Noble to find it. Really?

[00:01:36] I don't even know that mine was printed in paper. I think it was online, or Alisticle or whatever they call it. Alisticle. We also got published in the Greer... What was it? Something Greer Weekly. Yeah, it was for Simpsonville. I don't remember what it was.

[00:01:56] We've been around. We understand how it works. Absolutely. Any local paper we'll talk to. You should talk to your local paper, Patrick. I've been in it. For what? Notable alumni of Blake High School. You were notable for doing the podcast? For being a Lifetime person, I guess.

[00:02:20] Oh, Lifetime movie expert. Yeah, it was about my Lifetime movie and all that. They literally just found my Instagram and wrote a story about it. In a mere two days, you're going to be doing a Lifetime game show, Pelusa, live at Bramble Fest. How do you feel?

[00:02:38] I finished my presentation. This is homework, you guys. No one told me... I haven't made a PowerPoint since... My... Okay, get ready, Dan. I had to do a persuasive essay or persuasive presentation in college and in a communications class. My topic was why you should like Mandy Moore,

[00:03:00] the singer, the actress, the triple threat. Please tell me... What's the third one? Model. Commercial actor? Triple threat. Please tell me you still have that presentation, Patrick. I do not, but it was a PowerPoint. I remember that. It had the chimes and the zoom in.

[00:03:24] I put a lot of work into that. Yeah, you did. Let me tell you, PowerPoint's come a long way. This game show looks a lot better than my Mandy Moore presentation. It's called Google Slots. You did a Canva. Canva's easy to use. Very easy. Dropping... Drop and drag.

[00:03:46] Can you give us a tease something about it that we won't understand now, but will understand later? Okay, yes. I put in a lot of thought into this, and it can be played in person and online. Wow! Okay. I wanted it to be interactive for the people

[00:04:09] also watching in the live stream, because, you know, it's no fun to play a game and watch other people play. So, wait, what does that mean? How are they going to be able to interact? Now I'm just asking, there's no longer a tease.

[00:04:23] So, like, you know, if we have teams, we'll have an online team. Why not? Great. Maybe the online team will win. Are they cheating? They could be cheating. But we'll do honor system. Yeah, we'll do honor system. The virtual ticket. Bang for buck.

[00:04:43] I mean, it's there. It's all there for you. And if you're worried you're not going to be able to watch it live, you get a link. So, you have it. In perpetuity. In perpetuity. You have it forever. So, you can still get that ticket.

[00:04:57] The tickets for in-person closed, shut it down. But, virtual tickets. I mean, that's the tip. You got to get one. I'm very excited about this weekend. It's going to be a lot of fun. Just being able to, like, touch everybody. You want to touch everybody?

[00:05:13] That's a weird thing to say out loud. Well, like all my friends. Being able to touch everybody. Patrick, I can't wait to touch Patrick. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine with that. Patrick is neutral on that. He's like, whatever. Yeah, it's great. We're good.

[00:05:33] I will see Patrick and I will touch him. It's just so many ways you can say it. I just can't wait to see everybody. Give him a hug. I can't wait to see Patrick. I'll touch him. It'll be great. You don't admit that sounds weird.

[00:05:49] I think that is totally fine. Okay, all right. Fine. Great. It's time to talk about today's movie. Which is... Well, yeah, speaking of touching 12 Men of Christmas. I'm going to talk about this movie. Yeah, there's a lot to talk about. Before we start,

[00:06:11] I have to say I misremembered this movie. It might be another Christmas movie. I thought remembering this from 2009, 2009 you guys, Kristen Chenowitz was gonna be... She told me I could call her that. Of course. KC, the whole Chenowitz family. Wonderful people. I thought that...

[00:06:35] Chenowitz was gonna be dating 12 Men of Christmas. The 12 Men of Christmas would make me think that there are 12 dudes that she dates over any period of Christmases. So it could be 12 different Christmases. It could be one Christmas. That would be my understanding of that.

[00:06:53] That is totally what I thought. Totally what I remembered. Oh, yeah, there's all these hunks. So many hunks. It's a calendar. It's calendar related. There are still hunks. But she's not going on a date with all the hunks. We got Riggs and the Saphitsies calendar. It was tough.

[00:07:13] We couldn't even get to February before we had to throw that thing out. Oh no, oh no. Well, you wouldn't be throwing this calendar out. Let me tell you. So the movie stars... You might know some of these people. I wrote down the notable ones.

[00:07:30] One of the guys was on Biggest Loser. He was the Bob Harper replacement. All right, great. I know that. What that means. Bob Harper. Wait, you guys. Bob Harper, he was like one of the coaches on Biggest Loser. Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels. Yes, I knew Jillian Michaels.

[00:07:50] Did you think I know about reality TV? Did you know Jillian Michaels was on Biggest Loser? Reduced by 90%. I know enough to make jokes from the first two seasons. And from the first season of Survivor, Richard, Gervais, Susan. That's all I got.

[00:08:06] If you do anything aside from that, I'm going to be like who is this person? I wish we could have had Bob Harper in this movie. Yeah, Bob Harper is southern. So I thought you guys knew him. Okay, yeah. It's a small circle.

[00:08:20] He's gay so then I know him. We should all know him based on those two attributes. Not everyone. Only if you're southern or gay. That's a big swath of people, Patrick. And if you're gay and southern, you definitely know Bob Harper. Absolutely.

[00:08:36] Those are my favorite type of gays. I love when they are gay. It's just like bless your heart. You know, I'm like, oh my god. I am so dumb and not from the south. How Dan and I grew up,

[00:08:48] there was a chance that the reason we didn't know him was because he was gay. That could have been a thing. I'm not going to go back there, at least out in public. You don't consider yourself southern being from the Maryland, Virginia area, Patrick? Correct.

[00:09:06] There are southern parts of Maryland. I will give you that. If you go to the western Maryland, it is very country. You go to the eastern shore, it is country. Where I'm from is not southern. It's basically like DC light.

[00:09:18] Okay, so I've always like as an actual southerner, Virginia is like barely southern to me. Virginia likes to think that they are southern and they have a huge part in the civil war. I'll grant them the history, but You will grant them civil war. Civil war.

[00:09:33] But Robert E. Lee is stronger. I'm heard of it. I will grant you. A lot of people in Maryland, when I lived in St. Louis, people were like, we're southern and I'm like, no, no, you're not southern. So at least you get it.

[00:09:49] I mean, my grandma was from Macon, Georgia. So she was southern. That cred is unimpeachable. Yes. I know about pimento and cheese. I know about all that stuff. Don't worry guys. Wait, is that not what it's called? It's pimento cheese. Oh, sorry.

[00:10:09] But you know, like I get the vibe. I had fried chicken growing up, like made from a pan. Yeah, the good stuff. Bob Harper, not in this movie. Chris and Chenowens. She's in this movie. From Broadway and from Pushing Daisies. Christmas Love Story on Hallmark.

[00:10:29] Oh yeah, with that wolf guy. With that wolf guy. Will Albrecht. Will Albrecht is from Cougar Town. Was the only thing I knew him from. But he's kind of cute. Anna Chomsky. Chomsky from a V. My girl. Herself. And then finally, Steven. Hussar. Hussar. That guy.

[00:10:57] I recognize him. I didn't even recognize him. You said his name and I'm like who? The hair was bad. Okay, jumping in. So we have Chris and Chenowens. She has it all. I'm going to say it wrong every time. Fine, I know her in real life. We're friends.

[00:11:17] Okay, that's fine. What's wrong with the way that you're saying it? It's Chenoweth. How are you saying it? Like a yeah, Chenoweth. I've heard of both ways. Only from Patrick. Right. When you grow up as a young gay, sometimes the THs are hard to say.

[00:11:37] So you work around it. That's all I'm going to say. Okay, all right. What am I supposed to say to that? Patrick, you can pronounce people however you want to. There you go. You give him that permission? You don't give me that permission? You weren't a young gay.

[00:11:55] Right, it's true. That's fair. New Yorker, perfect. She has an apartment. She has a PR job. She has a fiance named Noah. And she's nice. Right? She gets cold play tickets for her assistant and her assistant is so excited. 2009, that's huge. Huge. That might be Gwyneth

[00:12:21] and that guy, Chris Martin. Yeah, having an apple. That's Viva La Vida territory, right? So yeah. Let's just say, Kristin Chenoweth is connected. She's very connected. Very cool. So she has been a 350th in the last night of her life.

[00:12:40] How do you say this because it all depends on her? You know, what she's doing. She's going to be a big step. She's going to be the star and being the best Brexit and the only thing that she ain't seen. We have to see her.

[00:12:54] So she was a great new person. She used to be a great success owner. Yeah, we do. She's beautiful. She's a great perspective. She's a big job. His contacts start acting up. Have you ever worn contacts guys? I have not no I'm done. I'm perfect producer

[00:13:13] I think is nodding That and she's wearing them right now. She said yeah, so you know now on current 24 24 times We need to call someone for I knew exactly what you I Know current 2024 times. Yeah in current 24 times

[00:13:40] You can get contacts that are softer and they don't hurt your eyes as much but back in 2009 They have these little hard contacts that you would put in your eyes and they would like sometimes like Like get

[00:13:51] In your eye like feels like a dust in your eye or something So you had to go like splash water on it or something. It was terrible terrible times for eye Problems or I I say dance so mad hearing

[00:14:01] Times for problems. Yeah, I was so no I know those people with eye issues Terrible so he goes to the bathroom to adjust his contact Yep, sure he does

[00:14:13] Kristen Chenowitz is like this a great time to freshen up. I'm gonna go to the powder room as if she needs it Am I right Patrick? She doesn't need it. She's not even uh, she's not even uh, dewy She's just perfect. She's not even dewy

[00:14:28] Yeah, I mean dewy is in now, but it wasn't in 2009. Yeah, we all knew that. Yeah, I'm coming in the middle That's right. So you just want to have a powdered face real brian harper situation. Was that his name brian harper?

[00:14:39] What's his name? Bob harper. Bob harper was very close. Yeah Yes, so she goes to the bathroom. She's on the phone with her sister She's talking and she's like for some reason she likes to look at people's shoes in the stalls and see what shoes they're wearing

[00:14:52] Okay, like while in the in the women's bathroom. It means something different than a men's bathroom They're just you know, like taking it taking a tinkle Um, so she looks at the shoes and she's like, oh are these a pair of Gucci pumps?

[00:15:05] Hmm. Are these a pair of lubatons that uh, I bought for my boyfriend? Yes, her boyfriend is in the stall hooking up with Kristen Chenowitz boss Boy Burnett boss dust and his eye doubt it Right. He was faking. He was using eyesight to

[00:15:27] Have an affair and that's messed up man. Have you ever messed up right now Patrick? Do that I have an affair, but if you ever use contacts or glasses to get out of something

[00:15:38] Yes, I can't see without my glasses. So if I lose my glasses, I need to be Taking home by somebody immediately. So yeah, so you've used that before in a social situation you'd be like

[00:15:49] I gotta have you ever just you just threw your glasses you saw I can't find them Oh, yeah, I'm like I lost my glasses. I got to go. I got to leave somebody get me

[00:15:57] Yeah, my contact fell out. I got to go home. Wow. So this seems like it's a regular occurrence for you Oh, a good one is I got my eyes dilated today. I can't work. I can't see the computer But is that that sounds like it's just true

[00:16:09] It is true, but you know And I am sensitive to the dilation, but there it's like, you know, like two times a year. I'm like, oh, I really can't work today A good one is I had surgery today

[00:16:22] And I can't uh, I can't work Patrick's boss is like Does Patrick get his eyes dilated every week? I bet if you asked if you asked Leslie, she'd be like, yeah I have no the days every monday. I would come in with sunglasses and like

[00:16:37] Towel over my head and like it's so bright out there Is it monday already, huh? It's the monday dilation. Yeah, yes So of course Kristen Chenowitz breaks up with him

[00:16:50] She packs up her desk at her office quits her job because her boss was like, you know, also in on this And Noah on the way out of the office is like, can I have the engagement ring back? It's messed up Mm-hmm And she's like

[00:17:05] And she'd like gives it to him. She's like never talk to me again She goes home. She watches miracle on 34th street for like the whole Christmas week into new years She doesn't leave the couch. She's eating chinese feeding the dog chinese What you shouldn't do

[00:17:20] You shouldn't feed the dog. Yeah, the dog. That's greasy. If the food's greasy, you don't want to give it to a dog That's not good for their No, they can't they can't eat cooked meat like that. That's not no look. It's good for them

[00:17:32] So but it but Kristen does what she wants. Okay. Yeah as a as a close personal friend That's right She's always been like that. That's right. She and she always has dogs. She always brings dogs everywhere. She goes she always does

[00:17:46] And they really show the miracle on 34th street you guys they really show little natalie wood being like Oh my doll house Whatever Yeah, do they show a lot of the movie or they just show a clip of it They show more than i've ever seen in any

[00:18:03] Public domain, right? But they show like i mean how much do you need to establish that? I mean you just need to see when they're bringing all the letters and you pretty much establish it, right? That's right. Well, we don't see santa getting his beard pulled and

[00:18:15] Speaking in that language to that kid But we do see natalie wood and the mom whatever her name was Of course. Yeah Moira Mary No, that's jimmy stewart. He's he's not in that movie. He was asking for a name

[00:18:32] It's been a long time since i've seen miracle on 34th street, but anyways Yeah New years happens we like skip over christmas the whole movie is called 12 minutes of christmas But christmas is over it's over the first 10 minutes of it. I was pretty worried about that

[00:18:47] I mean it's in the title. I think you're gonna be okay Are you? If dano, I hope you I hope you need glasses and then you lose them if I ever need glasses I probably am not doing contacts. I am going to just wear glasses

[00:19:04] The idea of dealing with contacts seems oh they but it sounds like the technology's evolved Yeah, i'll wear contacts to bramblefest when i'm on stage But if i'm like, you know getting breakfast like i'll wear glasses your glasses are iconic patrick. You're not gonna wear them on stage

[00:19:19] But not with our special guest me He's here's the thing. He's Patrick knows our special guest and he's now very like attuned to the fact that he's trying to like

[00:19:31] Keep himself in order. He is uh, remember yesterday certified sexy now. It's like I have to I have to get go get Reapply because i'm having doubts No, you should never have to but the reason why you can't wear this guy. He's gonna be hosting the paloosa

[00:19:45] That's true. Like that's a lot of moving around the paloosa with glass you take them off like chew on one in there True you guys, I don't really see that well with my contacts. So I might need to wear my glasses The glasses

[00:19:58] Yeah, we would hate for you to mess up reading that'd be a That'd be out of character very out of character and I would not like it Okay, okay, so christin gets a call after new years because she has no job. Don't forget

[00:20:11] um the montana board of tourism wants to hire christin to come to the city for 12 months for like a Like bringing entrepreneurship to montana. Yeah, I don't really know why I like how they all got in contact with her but

[00:20:30] It's you know, she's she needs a job and uh, she doesn't want to go to montana But she's talking to her friend and it's like maybe this is exactly what you need right now Yeah, a fresh start. I like some some clean air

[00:20:42] But by kc kc is kc's new york through and through could she make it in montana? Could she make it without the big city stuff? I don't know Right. She she drives to montana. Um The town is called it's a real town cal calispell callous spell

[00:21:02] It's real um and She she drives to uh, montana There's a whole scene of her like with a map getting lost on the version i watch The sound was cut out because it must have been a christmas song. Um And I couldn't hear what it was but

[00:21:20] But yes, she drives It's all sorts of debauchery happened with the map and she's like looking up and you know comedy gold Yeah, she gets lost a lot. She is constantly relying on The movie does take place in 2009 right it does okay GPS is pretty widely available

[00:21:38] It would it would have been a garment and you know, yeah If you have a garment in your car someone's gonna break in and steal that The dash we had a tom tom right we had a tom tom. Let's try a tom tom christmas gift in 08

[00:21:50] Because we didn't have any money We were in st. Louis and it was a lifesaver that tom tom. Yeah like yeah Hook it up your computer to download the maps. What a time to be alive

[00:21:59] I love that a company was like, what do we call it a tom tom a british company for sure right? He said tom tom. Yeah Garment was too expensive. We couldn't do garment. It's too expensive. Oh, okay my bad my bad

[00:22:11] Can't hide money Patrick there was a third one that was like started with an m. What is it? Magellan? Magellan? So there was you know, but christin doesn't need any of that. She's just doing a map Let us know what GPS was your favorite digalbert.com Yeah

[00:22:29] Watch us on filo file.tv slash dth making a file. I think we should take a quick break Okay, we should take a quick break and we'll come back and we'll uh dive more into the actual 12 men

[00:22:40] That are of christmas here on let's get to the map. That's right. Degna Sounds like the uh producers back there was a real itchy trigger finger there Hey, I don't know if I could do that again. Nope couldn't it's impressive Wow

[00:23:08] Okay, um, so we're back christens in montana now. Yeah, and uh Her rent for a whole house is five hundred twenty five dollars A month. Wow. And this is in the middle of a financial recession in our country Uh, yeah

[00:23:24] 2009 but she's like a blown away by that and she's like what and the person who's like showing her the house Um, is like is that too much and she's like no, it's gonna be great. So just different You know different new york to montana. It's different

[00:23:39] So much comedy found in that city girl in a small town They should really do this more often. They should yeah. Yeah, you know, I think this could be where it originated. Um

[00:23:51] Maybe not originated but you know, it's an older one. So uh, she goes to the town of course the the The there's like the police station or I don't know. I guess it's like the

[00:24:03] What's it called like the city council or something like that the town town hall Yeah, and she's like meeting the mayor and he's like, oh, I'm so glad to have you. You're gonna be so great for montana

[00:24:14] What do you mean? She's like I need my own office and I need an assistant immediately And the assistant is anna chumps chumps chumps ski clumps ski

[00:24:25] And her name's jan in the movie. She doesn't really get much to do. She's too good for this movie and uh, you know What a waste of talent What a waste what a waste she doesn't have much to do with me. Why the Beverly Mitchell?

[00:24:38] Yeah, fair as she's the Beverly Mitchell of this week Totally she's great in deep Great Also in the movie that veep is based on called in the loop Great in there too. I want to be in the loop

[00:24:51] Yeah, I want to be in the light. So we made our first hunk His name is will he is the town's george cluney And everyone knows that's what they call them. That's what they literally call him

[00:25:05] He is talking at the post office and he's like getting really in the weeds with like how his aunt's doing or whatever And christin gets so mad She cuts in front of him in line and she's like I have to send this package

[00:25:19] And he's like, well, don't you think you're important? I guess uh, I'll just go back in in line and uh, you know Wait there while you're doing this and she's like i'm from new york

[00:25:29] That's exactly right. That's exactly right. She doesn't have time. She's not used to these Uh small town people like telling everybody about their life. It's just like I got a packet I got to do something with the mail. Let's do this thing

[00:25:43] Yeah, yeah, she's from the city dan. Yeah, things have got to move They've got to move She beats another hunk his name's eric. He works as a volunteer firefighter and uh, they have like a little barbecue

[00:25:57] To raise money. They have a bake sale and she's like, this is so cute. You guys see carbs And they're like ha ha weirdo. Uh, yeah, of course we eat carbs. That's exactly right now the town

[00:26:09] Has tasked a tap you got it wait for you ready? Are you ready? I put my glasses on with The town has tasked her with like helping with with tourism and whatnot

[00:26:21] And from the big city. Yes, and what she notices is that this town doesn't know how to raise money So they're like raising money for like a more Fire department stuff to keep people safe and whatnot and she's like, how are people

[00:26:35] Gonna come to this town if they don't feel safe And then the unspeakable happens patrick She's uh, she's watching the telly. She's watching the tv and there's been an avalanche And someone died Moral of story is they don't have they don't have the equipment needed to

[00:26:57] Really deal with what they need to deal with to keep people safe And all they're doing is doing little bake sales and christin says No more of this We have to make sure that people feel safe so that if they feel safe

[00:27:11] They will come to our town and that is when she gets the idea of all ideas, which is what patrick She gets an idea Because this guy drops off some old calendars of montana pictures Here we go

[00:27:25] And they're like who wants to hang that on the wall some nature? No, thanks. And I agree nature is boring Um, and she's like light bulb. She sees all these cute guys and you know, she's like, okay

[00:27:38] Maybe we'll do a calendar. She doesn't say it out loud. She doesn't say it out loud because she first has to see one of the hunks But ass naked Really very naked. She goes to a like a venue to like check out like a

[00:27:54] Fundraising it's like a rich dude's house that yeah, they might have a party at or something And in the pool swimming naked is well totally naked and he Naked he gets out of the pool And he's got his naked body

[00:28:14] And his pangas out. I mean she's like not much to see here It's just so crazy to me That anybody if they you know one I don't swim naked naked if I either naked nor if I Swam naked

[00:28:32] And somebody came up to the pool. I'd be freaking out what I wouldn't do is immediately get out of the pool and go Look here Look at what I have But that's what he does That's what he does his first reaction when she walks up is to

[00:28:48] Is to look at I gotta get out of the pool. Look at here It's him if you watch the movie you're gonna be like, oh my gosh He really does and it's like dude like put it away. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy

[00:29:03] I've definitely gone skinny dipping in my time and it's usually at night not in the middle of the day That's right But if someone if someone comes up, you're not jumping out of the pool right and going look at here No, that's no that that is like

[00:29:16] Psychotic. Yeah, it's a salt but also right. I'm like she didn't ask for that. No no no So she tells him uh, you know Put it away like this is where she gets the idea she she's like we're gonna do a naked man calendar

[00:29:34] to raise money it's so great. She makes the pitch at the fire station and um All the men are like, haha, we're never gonna do that And she's like you guys you're normal looking men. You're real men

[00:29:47] We want to see real men not models on the calendar and i'm like these guys are models These guys are models. They have like one guy. He's like the mayor. Yeah But even the mayor is ripped. He's just bald. Yeah, you know

[00:30:04] 11 or models real dudes, right? Yeah, there's one guy who's like Stephen. Lazar is trying to be a normal dude Exactly exactly 2009 Stephen has right. It's like prime Stephen has are That's the minus I don't know. I think he's pretty prime 15 years ago

[00:30:23] Yeah, so christin shanowitz works on nailing down these 12 men. She gets the the mayor is on board The hot cop is on board We get two pairs of rival brothers who like weirdly do it because the other brothers doing it They don't want to be left out

[00:30:39] Stephen with the long hair They're like super competitive and so it's like I can't my brother can't be showing his body because you know I got to show my body type of thing which is exactly how we got into that situation

[00:30:51] You know what i'm talking about and I get to do it here. We're both embarrassed and we're both sorry Hey things happen Also, we don't have a stack of spares in our car at all time. No don't ask Uh, Eric the guy that jan likes

[00:31:07] He's religious, but he's gonna do the calendar. Everyone's doing it except for will will's not for some reason He doesn't want to get Neckad He's like no, I think this is objectifying men and I don't want to do it. Wow hot take

[00:31:22] Yeah, it is it is a hot take But then the men start, uh, you know Not eating carbs working out there their girlfriends and wives are like you got to get ready for the calendar slapping donuts out the hand

[00:31:36] I mean it's classic. It's uh, the the typical like a fat jokes of the era Yeah, uh, that's what we're doing this week for bramble fuss. I did I have no Carbs did I have my parlor donut this morning?

[00:31:49] Yeah, I still did of course I did because I didn't know that rule Yeah, I mean it's like out of your hand if you want a donut eat a donut No, I'm gonna eat donuts

[00:32:01] Ain't nobody's the man have locker room talk and like compare bodies and are like, oh your body is like whatever It gets weird. It gets weird there

[00:32:11] Yeah, it's uh, yeah, it's a different type of locker room talk. It's not like, you know, the locker room talk talk to weave That's exactly that. Got it. Yeah Got it. Okay. So, uh, when I say ab sailing you say

[00:32:25] Uh, let's go am I supposed to know something to say? No, you say what's that? What's that exactly? Right, you would think that it's sailing right ab sailing like some type of sailing. Yes No It's it's nice some type of mountain climbing like repelling down a mountain

[00:32:45] Yeah, you use your abs a lot. It's an abs. Yeah, no you and I went abs sailing last week That's exactly right call it Thursday. What's fun is that some rock climbing and propelling you don't use your abs propelling repelling repelling

[00:33:02] You're not on a boat some uh, that's exactly that's the problem here Some of that time you don't use your abs. This is particular to the abs And everyone knows that chano its is very confused. She shows up in a little sale outfit

[00:33:15] She has like, you know her little dick yawn and the hat and the whole thing and everyone's like what are you wearing? We're repelling down this mountain and

[00:33:26] And then she's like, oh, okay. Well, I can just do it in this she goes down the mountain. She's doing really good She's like the view is beautiful. I understand why you like Montana now and then

[00:33:36] She she gets a fear like over her like she loses her footing and she can't can't move She has like a panic attack. She's like freaking out So will our nick a guy who's wearing clothes now goes down Repels down the mountain for now

[00:33:52] For now wearing clothes and he's like you can do this. You're okay and she's like, oh my gosh Thank you so much. You helped me and now they're like falling for each other And he's just a normal guy falling for each other nailed it Normal guy

[00:34:07] So, uh, will has a change of heart Of course now that he likes christin and he's like gonna do the calendar, but he wants his uh, his Like company I guess he owns like a sports store

[00:34:19] Uh sports sporting goods store. He wants that to be the the sponsor and christin's like, um You know what? You're not very nice And I don't want to like because he's like I like you but like you're so annoying and I can't believe

[00:34:33] I actually like somebody who's as rude and like city and new yorkie as you and she's like that's not a way to talk to somebody Who you like and I don't need your sponsorship

[00:34:43] It was a right an a bold way to tell somebody that you're into them to be like I here I actually like there's like a ton about you that I hate Yeah, it was so rude everything going on wrong with you. Yeah After all this time

[00:35:01] So we finally get to our photo montage which lasts a very long time very maybe five minutes Yes, okay very much. We're not upset about it though. Are we I mean like it is

[00:35:15] Look at that guy next to a horse. Oh, that is the guy from kugertown. There he is. Yes There is kugertown next to a horse Next to a horse for some reason

[00:35:25] We have the mare in a hot tub. We have a hunk fishing. We have a hunk by a tree We have a hunk camping. We have a hunk with a dog. We have a hunk chopping down a tree Everyone's not naked. They're they're just shirtless just shirtless

[00:35:41] At some point they drop that's exactly right. Yeah, that's I was confused. Did I miss something? No, no, they just didn't do the naked part when they guy first when the first guy walked up for photo shoot

[00:35:54] And he had pants on I was expecting another one of those. All right drop drop it But they never dropped it. They just another one of those all right drop it Yeah, like like naked guy earlier

[00:36:06] Um, I thought it was going to be naked like that, but it's not they didn't they didn't drop it. They shot it The camera. Yeah Yeah, so the pictures turn out nice the pictures turn out nice very nice Uh, not what we were expecting the town

[00:36:23] However does the thing which also happens in a mandymore movie. Uh, you might remember a walk to remember I remember it Oh, do I there is a part in a watch to remember where they take mandymores head and they put it on a naked body

[00:36:36] And it's so embarrassing for her because she's a good religious girl and the the the naked body Do you remember that? I saw it in the theater With my now wife and I gotta be honest. I remember hating it. That's the only thing I remember about

[00:36:50] They're making fun of her because she's such a little goodie goodie. And so they photo shopper face Okay, yeah if you say so So that happens to the mayor here the mayor gets his head put on a naked body and everyone laughs at the bar. They're like, haha

[00:37:08] With your Naked. Yeah, they're so mean they I'm like they're raising money for charity you guys like this guys have grown adult Support the cause mayor of a montana town. Why does he care? He just be like, that's not me

[00:37:20] And move along. No, it's him. Oh, he he was really upset. Okay. All right. He's like he's like landon I have cancer What What I'm quoting a what I'm quoting a watch to remember. Oh, no, sorry. I thought that I'm sorry. I'm sorry

[00:37:37] It she says she doesn't say I'm gonna do a cancer subplot in this movie and I was not prepared That's the that's the one to remember. Yeah, watch her remember She has a walk. She remembers. Yeah

[00:37:49] Yeah, yeah, she says I'm sick. Yeah, landish. I love that movie. Do you really? So good. Yeah, it's great. You're also great Great switch foot. Wow Who knew who knew I've seen him live a number of times and Like a bunch of times didn't make that any better

[00:38:11] Dude chris the channel. It's got you tickets. You probably did. Yeah, she probably did I mean early on didn't take much to get switch foot tickets took four or five albums before anybody knew that's true I uh, yeah, I love that movie

[00:38:23] Watched it. Okay. So within the last five months. I'll probably watch it again in the next one. Does anyone love that movie? I mean, I know it by heart that movie sucked I wouldn't say it's great. You were 10 you were 12 now. I didn't watch it when I was 10

[00:38:37] I watched it when I was an adult Mandy Moore dying with a great soundtrack falling in love It sounded like you wanted her to die. So it sounded like Yeah, okay. All right. Yeah, I feel better the consensus is it's not yeah three to one

[00:38:52] Once again, you are in the minority It makes you aren't seen It makes you I've sighed us I thought I was Film criticism My mind here because I was talking to the three of you and it turns out no that movie does in fact suck

[00:39:09] Well, there you go, but you know In my presentation in my powerpoint it was a highlight Highlight of that of that presentation. Okay, um, so we're We're back to the holiday season And Kristen Chenowitz gets the calendars printed and they look so good

[00:39:27] They throw a party everyone has like an easel with their naked picture. They're taking pictures by their naked picture um And everyone starts slow dancing As you do. Yeah And everyone couples off, you know, Kristen Chenowitz was kind of talking to Steven Steven has uh, has our yes

[00:39:50] But she has committed to will so they're dancing. We realized she's very short but it's also a little bit confusing because the they were like Kind of a thing her and has our but then has our just kind of like this appears and has are

[00:40:05] was uh naked guys Like best friend boy and yeah, and now they like hate each other and at this point in time We don't know why that is she's like, well, that's crazy. And so

[00:40:19] She and has are are kind of having a thing. He disappears for a while starts, you know Obviously falling for naked guy and now you're in a bit of a sticky wicked here Right. Yeah, because uh There's too many men

[00:40:34] You know too many 12 men you you might fall in love with more than one you might fall in love with two add two of them not 12 I would fall in love with all 12. Yeah, everyone has their their uh, they bring something unique to the table, you know

[00:40:48] They can't be compared no, you can't so Jen and and a clumsy. Oh god. I'm so bad. You got it. You nailed it answers Kristen Chenowitz phone And it's Gucci pump boss Gucci pump boss is like

[00:41:05] I need Kristen to come back to work. I have a job. I have I will double the salary. I will even Not wear my Gucci pumps anymore We can leave the Gucci pumps in the past

[00:41:18] Oh, I forgot to mention Kristen like totally breaks this woman's shoes in the bathroom, uh at the beginning and uh, it's hilarious That is revenge That is revenge and speaking of breaking stuff. How about we head to a break? Wow

[00:41:32] See what I did I did that on purpose. Yeah, you sure did. Well, we're back here at the dome So I live my hands and pray Yeah, I've seen many more perform that song live. Yeah, you have

[00:41:58] And it was amazing. She's like, I've never seen this since the movie here we go She's saying it for you. He had to be lying She wasn't lying. It was like on the it was on like, uh, bus fee the next day

[00:42:11] Like many more performs the first time ever of this song live Wow Man, yeah, is that a ticket coming back from? Oh, probably, you know

[00:42:26] I could take it. I felt like you drove home to see Mandy Moore and then when you were driving back you got pulled over Maybe in the carola going a thousand miles. I'm just saying it was uh

[00:42:38] It was great. Yeah, I mean if I heard Mandy Moore sing that song, I'd also speed That's exciting Yes, yes so We're we have the yes we have praying but but chris and chano it needs to be praying because Adam The phone the phone lady boss it

[00:42:57] We get a miscommunication that happens with the phone conversation. So Will overhears the conversation about moving back to new york and misunderstanding Yeah, they get into an argument and she's like forget it. I'm taking that job. I'm going back to new york. He's really mean He's mean

[00:43:15] He's like he's like, I don't even really want you to stay. He's like unnecessarily mean There's like there's like maybe uh, Maybe 25% of this movie where he's not a jerk. Maybe tops right and I think on cougar town

[00:43:29] He's also a jerk kind of a jerk on cougar town But he's just good at playing jerk. I think everybody on cougar town is a bit of a jerk I I lost a couple of seasons of it like I feel like that's kind of the vibe

[00:43:39] But everyone is kind of a jerk. I think Okay, could be wrong There you go. Is that obed's favorite show? I think so and then he's like, yeah, does it does a cameo and yeah because then tbs picked it up

[00:43:51] I think there's a whole thing there. All right. Wow. Okay. Yeah, so we're back in new york Kristen is thinking about she just has like flashbacks to all the montana memories Which should be a song montana memories. It should be should be she

[00:44:06] Like leaves the city in the middle of a presentation after hearing about an avalanche So they have an avalanche and she's like, oh my gosh will he's in trouble She goes to the hospital

[00:44:18] This is my favorite part of the movie. This is my favorite part. I'm gonna say it right now Wow, she goes to the hospital The nurse is in the room like pulling the sheets off the bed and chris is like, where is he?

[00:44:29] And the nurse is like, he's gone And chris and chris is like, oh my god. She has a sad moment And there's a sad music behind it too Sad music He's gone It is a full It's an arrest development It is not Oh, it's good

[00:44:47] Where's the doctors like I'm afraid we lost him and it turns out they couldn't find him Yeah, they can't find him Right Yes, um, well then will shows up on crutches and he's like, why are you so upset?

[00:44:59] And then chris is like, oh my god, you're here they make out then the same nurse walks by And sees them making out she rushes over to the nurse station and rips up

[00:45:13] Mr. December who happens to be will she's like, I guess I am not going to be sleeping with mr. December then And throws it in the trash wow And dream that and uh, kc decide she's gonna move to montana

[00:45:26] Yeah, because it's just better there. She missed it already And uh, but you know, I think what it's one of those things where you realize I even really she goes back to the big city. She's like, I don't like the big city

[00:45:39] Because at one point they're walking down and she's like Her friend is like I found this amazing place for 4.5 million and then it cuts back to the guy saying $525 and she's like

[00:45:49] Yeah, yeah a condo a condo for four million. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what's your salary in those two places? Yeah, that's true. That's that's true So Yes, they uh have a little gathering at their house

[00:46:02] It snows outside the camera pans out to the wind through the window and that whole bit And uh, that's the movie. Yeah, that's it 12 minus christmas. Let's try we did it Okay, now

[00:46:14] We either pour it up or put a cork in it pour it up means you uh are into it Put a cork in it means you would not be into it and dan since you watch this movie with your imagination

[00:46:25] We will see you a pretty good job. You guys did a good job You did a good job today and you guys were invested in the details that always Leads me to believe how you're feeling about the movie. Um, this stuff. I'm a huge christen chin with fan

[00:46:38] I saw her first on the west wing right really loved her in pushing daisies She's got a great voice. She pops up at other stuff. She's really funny. She was in holiday which we watched She's in a bunch of stuff where she's really funny

[00:46:53] Um, she was good in christmas love story. I think she's really good. I love anna clumpski. She's in this movie Do from cougar town? Uh It seems like a movie that if I watched I would give a this is better than most but not my thing vibe to

[00:47:06] Sure for the sake of this podcast i want to pour it up Okay, i'm gonna pour it up great brand Oh, what are you thinking? I'm pouring it all the way up. I love this movie. It was wacky

[00:47:18] It was wild. It was not what I was expecting. I was fully it went once she says we're gonna do a A a naked calendar and I realized that's why it was called 12 minute christmas

[00:47:28] I was like, okay, we got something something cool going on here kc's the delight Um, all the hunks are just kind of like I don't like whatever they don't really matter because kc's so good

[00:47:40] Um, that's what I call her. That's me and her. We're friends. That's what I call her I call it case. I know patrick you have a different kind of relationship

[00:47:47] Um, but yeah, I love this movie. I thought it was super fun super weird and um a real 2009 delight for brand Yeah, definitely 2009 for sure. So guys i'm going against the grain i'm gonna put a cork in it because oh boy I thought

[00:48:04] I thought it wasn't sexy enough. It wasn't what I remembered being so scandalous. Um at the time I was like, wow, this movie is really going there back in the day And now i'm watching it with my 2024 glasses not contacts and um

[00:48:19] Yeah, I'm like this is way tamer and lammer than I remember it being So I think compared like at the time it was like, whoa, this is so groundbreaking But now it compared to everything else that has come out and everything I've seen

[00:48:35] There's definitely uh slattier lifetime christmas movies and uh, you know, I'm here for that I mean, but home art would still not do this. They wouldn't have they wouldn't have a shirtless calendar So there's that

[00:48:48] You're right. They wouldn't and they wouldn't market it as a nick of calendar first That's the that's the one part that I will give a big strike against this I do think you're right about it like they the movie the first part of this movie

[00:48:58] You're like they are going to do something because they're talking about how they're going to like Cover their parts with an axe and stuff like that and then they just don't do any of that

[00:49:06] It's just pain they don't and there's that movie. What's that movie that British movie the full montee where they do that? And I'm like that movie is so good and there's not like another movie where a bunch of old British people make a calendar Like yeah

[00:49:20] Calendar girls calendar girls. Yeah, that's it Right. So like let's do it. It's been done before um, so That's my that's my reasoning. That's my reason. Can you read this review that you have on lifetime on court?

[00:49:33] Oh, I forgot. Yes. So uh, I I do read the IMDb reviews just to see what people are writing and this one was really good um Honestly, this isn't quotes Honestly, I've watched this one because I had nothing better to do and I was enjoying my supper

[00:49:51] Meanwhile my supper. How was it? Good this movie 12 men of Christmas. Are you kidding? Dan what? They said there they said their supper was good and the movie was like not that great. Okay, cool

[00:50:07] I wonder what they had for supper. Yeah, what a time review. Good for you. I love supper. Supper's like my favorite meal Yeah, I think I'm with you. I don't know lunch. It's not bra. I don't eat breakfast. That's one of those two

[00:50:19] Yeah, I'll have to get back to you. Uh, patrick. We're so excited to hang out this weekend at bramblefest again I want to reiterate my excitement to touch you and Uh, really excited about the game show of paluse. I think that's going to be a ton of fun

[00:50:33] And we only have one more Christmas in july movie that we're doing here on deck the lifetime in court and it is a uh We go from straight sexy to Totally different flavor just by the title heaven sent maybe a little religious angle

[00:50:53] From lifetime which I didn't know they did Uh, they they pull it out every now and then they they, uh, let jesus take the wheel every now and then You have to you have to

[00:51:05] Um, well, I can't wait for that. That's gonna be uh next week very much looking forward to that And at some point in the near future, maybe if you're lucky everybody, you'll get to hear the game show palusa

[00:51:15] Maybe no promises. No promises. Best way to do is of course like the harmon.com slash fast You can watch it live Uh this weekend play live in the live stream play live in the live stream. We've got all those logistics figured out

[00:51:27] Yeah, we do. It's gonna be amazing. We're really good at planning. We are uh, all right until next time We'll be the first to wish you a merry christmas Deck the hallmarks of bravel jam podcast is produced by erin shea

[00:51:39] For more information on deck the hallmark you can go to deck the hallmark dot com for more information on the Deck the hallmark family you can go to brable jam plus

[00:51:46] Dot com deck the hallmark is presented by philo tv for a free trial of philo go to philo dot tv slash dth You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio

[00:52:05] Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. Is at the end of the show I mean you're listening to me. Hi But here they come I promise they're coming. Yep, here they are Happy day