Deck the Lifetime Uncorked - A Gift Wrapped Christmas (Lifetime - 2015) ft. Patrick Serrano

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Bram and I love Lifetime Christmas movies Hi, I'm Patrick Serrano and I like some Lifetime Christmas movies I'm Dan and I despise Lifetime Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Deck The Hallmark it's his podcast And friends host his podcast

[00:00:24] We hope you like this jolly podcast Follow along Wow Howdy ho everybody! Merry Christmas! What's that? It's the poop from South Park Oh, okay Bring it back Bring it back Way back Bringing it way back That's a great Christmas episode Good For those playing at home

[00:00:51] Boy oh boy it is great to be here today recording live And yeah, that Greenville South Carolina Patrick, you're the one on to Yeah That Greenville in a week? Yeah, for Bramble Fest presented by Visit Greenville SC So you will be visiting Greenville SC though Patrick

[00:01:10] I will be and you know I had a story that I was going to say off air But now that I know we're sponsored by Greenville I don't think I could share that story So never mind They're not, listen we are It's just the fest is sponsored

[00:01:28] We still got a week and a half Not the pod So you guys I was watching like one of these murder shows that just happened to be in my algorithm all the time Oh no

[00:01:39] And there was one that was in Greenville about a bike store, like a motorcycle store Where everyone got shot and killed Do you guys know about this? It was like the biggest unsolved murder in like South Carolina for years and years

[00:01:52] I mean the only motorcycle store I know of is Harley-Davidson over by the Quaker Steak and Lube Yes, a place that does exist And I'm looking it up now Was it at the Harley-Davidson by the Quaker Steak and Lube? No, it was a different one

[00:02:07] It was like I don't know Rocket motors or something like that Rocket motors November 6th 2003 Superbike motorsports in Chesney Oh Chesney Chesney isn't Greenville That's the thing Is Chesney going to Chesney That's like 45-50 minutes outside of town I don't know how Okay, okay

[00:02:27] Maybe they were saying like the killer was from Greenville Somehow Greenville was involved in that case I don't think Greenville was involved in that case Visit sc.com It's like being in Boston Visitors are having a whooster Yeah That's what I learned today watching a different

[00:02:41] That's exactly right It's just like that There you go Okay, well I was very concerned for you guys I was like oh gosh, that's unsolved murder We got a, you know, batting down the hatches Not Greenville has nothing to do with it So we're good

[00:02:52] We're in the clear Okay, there we go We're fine We're not quite in the clear yet As far as Christmas movies go We're actually right in the thick of it In the thick of it Things are going great though

[00:03:03] Christmas and July is, it's almost like a fever dream Because it starts, get 4th of July Brayble Fest happens And then before you know it Christmas and July is over So I'm soaking up every second of it I know you watch it You're gonna soak up the sun

[00:03:16] That's what Cheryl Crowe told me Yeah That's right Dan I was like are you gonna sing it? Fran, but No, I was waiting on him I was waiting on the I'm gonna soak up the sun Okay, there we go To lighten up To lighten up, is that it?

[00:03:37] I think so Is it really? It's really lighten up I'm gonna tell everyone to lighten up Yeah, I got my 45 on You missed that one Yeah Which is not a gun It's just sunscreen from what I understand Yeah, she is not packing

[00:03:50] But I always thought it was a 45 But you're right, sunscreen makes more sense Oh my gosh It could be a record Dude, what if she has a gun on With sunscreen while listening to a record She's got her gun in hand Polishing that gun Listening to her vinyl

[00:04:07] Sprayin' sunscreen Don't mess with her man She's just like the American dream She's just like lighten up Put that picture away Cheryl Good girl I'm like if you're not wearing SPF 50 What are you doing? 100% The fact that she would only be doing 45 is reckless

[00:04:22] I don't put SPF 50 on You just put it on 50 Yes Everyday Everyday on my face You're 50 boy I don't actually know what minus I just put it on But She's plenty, right? Am I wrong here? Erin, you seem like you wanted to try me

[00:04:39] Erin is really white and Irish No, she looked like she wanted to chime in I wasn't trying to No, that look was I should not have left this open container Of dill pickle goldfish next to me And it was like how do I get this away from you

[00:04:52] Well the good news is I also use SPF 50 The good news is I can mute you So you can eat as much as you want to Dan's not allowed to eat as much as you want to The other good news is Erin and I have cracked snacks

[00:05:02] Goldfish came out with a new flavor I have a feeling that I've heard of this I have a feeling that we will have talked about this Yesterday and probably tomorrow You know what, Brinn? It still won't be enough Patrick's interested You can just Okay, tell Patrick

[00:05:18] Tell Patrick how you We discovered spicy dill pickle This is what's happening We've made a mix, Patrick So there was a spicy dill pickle flavor Langley Clements brought us some In the studio while we were doing something They ate them, they were wonderful

[00:05:35] We had some Frank's red hot goldfish And what we realized is Is basically a two to one Two spicy dill pickle goldfish For every one Frank's red hot goldfish You mix them together in a big giant Tupperware container And it is the best snack in the universe

[00:05:53] And we cracked it We cracked it right here At Bramble Jam podcast studios I'm sure we'll have some of that in the Yeah, that Greenville We didn't have a bite in Bramble Fest We cracked snacks though Bramble Fest presented by Visit GreenvilleLSC.com Erin and I

[00:06:08] I imagine you'll have some of those In the green room We'll just be a giant vat of that In the green room at Bramble Fest Presented by GreenvilleLSC Hopefully Yeah, I mean there might be a D-Com At Bramble Fest Maybe this is the delish

[00:06:19] We'll find a way to tie it in Yeah, luck of the Irish Luck of the Irish pickles Pickles Done Hot dog There you go Patrick before we dive into this movie As you and everyone at this point Knows we're doing a live Lifetime game show Pelusa

[00:06:37] At Bramble Fest How is the preparation coming on that? About as well as you'd expect So I have no ideas But they'll come to me They'll come to me Now one thing that you have to play with here though Is that we're doing teams We're doing teams

[00:06:55] You could do There's a family feud You could do a lot of different things here A lot of things you could do But also remember One team is going to have Alonzo Derraldi on it And he is better than the rest of us At these types of games

[00:07:08] True But you say these types of games As if the game show Pelusa Is a standard type of game Well, Alonzo wouldn't be much help In the Vivike Fox series Guess you picked the wrong boyfriend Or whatever He wouldn't help there

[00:07:25] But anything with like stars of the 80s and 90s He's going to crush it And whomever gets him Is going to be in much better shape There you go I love teams We'll do team collars or something That'd be great I love team collars

[00:07:44] I love that we're doing it live That's a good thing to worry about You know my opinion on games The rules, the rule book Toss it aside Just get out the pieces and start playing I can guarantee you it's going to be a mess

[00:07:57] And I can't wait for it It's going to be a ton of fun And you can still join us virtually For that by the way DegtoHomer.com If you would like to watch along Live In two weeks Not this weekend And you can chat You can chat

[00:08:13] The virtual ticket is a steal Imperson's going to be a blast I mean it can't wait We're ready to go I heard from Elizabeth We have nothing left to do Which is unbelievable And this is what it is It's Wednesday? Yes It is my understanding

[00:08:29] That Doc the bounty hunter Is potentially coming Going to be in the virtual chat? No Yes Doc's definitely in for Doc is in the virtual chat In the virtual chat For sure I just want to say I want to get ahead of this Sometimes he says things

[00:08:43] That are out of touch With what's going on I am sure something has happened That Doc the bounty hunter Has done or said something In the past 10 years That I'm not aware of And I just want to get ahead of that I apologize

[00:08:59] Patrick let's talk about today's movie Yeah Alright so guys We're in Christmas time We have a lifetime Christmas classic According to the people I did a little research And the comments And everything online Is like this is officially Not officially Because there's no official Lifetime classic list

[00:09:23] But the people seem to be Nostalgic for this one It's called a gift wrapped Christmas From 2015 So it is before all our times Covering Christmas movies But I do remember it fondly And I believe this might have been The catalyst movie

[00:09:40] That got me to think of this idea This is your gateway movie This is the movie where I was like I have a lot of funny comments That I'm just making To whoever was watching And oh yeah I should write them down Or something you know

[00:09:56] You are funny too You're funny Sometimes sometimes When do you start writing The block Like the next year So 2016 season Have you been doing every movie Since 2013 Or whatever year it was 2016 I know Yep So we have a movie Your 10 years coming up

[00:10:20] In a year and a half We gotta do something We gotta have some sort of celebration Right Yeah that's when I retire Ten years I'm like I'm good And you go back out to the clubs It's finally time Now you're It's time

[00:10:35] What was the thing he said once Once he's over 40 He's a legacy He's a legacy You're divine What is it I don't remember You can't go to the club from your 30 or 40 And then you're something You're too cool for school What is it I have no idea Iconic

[00:10:51] What is it I don't remember Yeah I think it was iconic We'll have to roll the tape We'll have to roll the tape back Yeah I think so Half the time I don't know What came out of my mouth Or like you know

[00:11:01] I'll just be talking to be like What'd I say Anyways Quick question Is this gift wrap spelled the normal way Or is it R-A-P-P-E-D And this is a wrapping movie It's not a wrap It's definitely a wrap movie Just picture everyone in like Missy Elliott Black trash bag

[00:11:18] Implating Okay got it Easy That'll help with your imagination Since you haven't seen the movie Dan That'll help you That'll help you Yeah locked in The movie stars Let's see if you know any of these people We have Meredith Hanger is our star star Leading lady

[00:11:36] She is giving Kelly Pickler when she got her hair cut Oh no Yeah Is she doing, is she giving the same performance Or just in how she looks Definitely not Just the looks Just the looks You may know her Meredith Hanger you mean Meredith Hagner right Sure yeah

[00:11:54] But she told me that I could say Hanger Hanger Hanger is six and a half dozen of the other We have a mommy dearest joke No more Meredith Hangers you know What do we know her from She's from, she's actually done a couple Christmas movies

[00:12:13] On Hallmark and Lifetime But she got out of Oh, she's in search party Yes she got out of purgatory of TV movie hell And was on a successful show I don't parties Have you seen it Oh yeah I love that show

[00:12:28] I don't want to show my hands too early Yeah Here they are Here they are I also loved her I thought she was great Yeah she gets what she gets the movie she's in She understands She would be great on these She's really good at such really great

[00:12:44] She only did a couple She only did a couple Our next guy is Travis Millen Millen Millney Milne Milne Milne He's there He's giving me Brandon Ralph I can see that Yep Anna Van Hooft I just like that name Hooft there it is Louder Love that name

[00:13:09] My favorite TV movie actor Dolores Drake Dolores Drake is in the house You will definitely recognize her I heard about her beef with Kendrick But that's over right It's over it's over She's backed off that But this is my gateway to her

[00:13:29] This was probably the first Christmas movie I saw her in And she's in Millen Kendrick Lamar's four minute diss track On Dolores Drake Is more than you would ever The things he said about Dolores Drake You didn't have to go that hard You were just like that is

[00:13:43] That should be a crime Poor Dolores I think it is I think that's defamation And then finally The most notable person Is the least to do in this movie Beverly Mitchell from 7th Heaven Unbelievable When I saw that Beverly Mitchell was the sister And not the lead

[00:14:01] I thought obviously a crime had been committed Because Beverly Mitchell is on 7th Heaven Which means she automatically qualifies As leading role on lifetime Yeah That was my understanding Here's the thing Beverly Mitchell Always the sister in these things She's never the lead That's crazy Never the lead

[00:14:20] That's crazy Because she I think she's She had Jessica Biel to contend with In 7th Heaven That's true How are you going to compete with that What are you going to do And then she's cut up against Meredith Hanger As I say Most people say Hagner

[00:14:35] But you do you No contest Beverly Mitchell was no contest And Beverly Mitchell I don't know Something's up We need to get her on the show Have you guys ever talked to her What do you mean something's up Like she doesn't want to be the lead Okay

[00:14:51] They offer it And she's like I'll be the sister I don't have time for that Yeah We weren't going to have her on the show But now we have Beverly Mitchell is like Two weeks of work is just too much Yeah She must have like a rich husband

[00:15:04] She's like I like acting But I don't want to learn all those lines Yeah You know It's not about Maybe she just doesn't want to be away For that long You know Sometimes when you have kids Two weeks is a big commitment And it's three weeks of rehearsals

[00:15:18] I wouldn't want to be there For that long You know I'm saying she She gets offers And she must turn them down Or must counter offer with a smaller part Is it possible We are speaking too highly of Beverly Mitchell Yes No No Beverly Mitchell Is like

[00:15:35] So great on 7th Heaven She's like the best part She's the best part I can't say I've ever seen an episode of 7th Heaven Oh what do you come she is What do you come She's in a D-com Right on track Right on track That's right Sorry What

[00:15:50] I've never seen an episode of 7th Heaven What I would say don't go back Yeah I'm not playing on it What like I mean It's not what It was a A capsule in time Kind of like What's that other one It came out when I was 13

[00:16:07] I didn't really Interest in it at all It was today's You're like the demo That's the demo For 7th Heaven Unless you grew up in my house With four channels I mean It just wasn't I know that I actually had that channel You had the WB

[00:16:20] But you probably weren't You weren't allowed to watch that probably When you were 97 I mean when it was 1997 1996 And we did Our old Hammer Radio The show today's big thing And we talked about 7th Heaven You were lying the whole time I didn't want you to be

[00:16:35] Ashamed of me And so Okay So here we are Do you think Do you think I'm a conflict Go ahead No I was just gonna say I'm a conflict mediator So if we need to hash this out right now I'm ready Did you Do you have the training

[00:16:52] You're certified I'm also CPR certified And sexy certified When do you get that certification You just apply online Oh interesting You have to be sexy certified To call her a hanger Instead of a Hagner I do know that That's true Right That's why

[00:17:12] There's nothing we can do here It's a Hagner to us Always will be Let's get into the movie Now that we've been talking for 17 minutes It should be time for a break But I can't even Even in the best of days Even in the best of days Yeah

[00:17:27] Go to a break without talking about the movie first Okay Yes we gotta get It's a different show So the movie starts We have Gwen our protagonist She is a personal shopper And she is in the city We are back to the city

[00:17:43] We are not in New York We are in the city We're in the city Do you know anybody Who has used a personal shopper Not personally no But I've seen it in a lot of TV movies There's enough movies about Personal shoppers that I feel like

[00:17:57] I should have met one by now Right I mean no I've never met one And I've never known anyone to use one But I've never met somebody Who is sexy certified And now I have So just because I haven't met It doesn't mean it doesn't exist

[00:18:10] But don't forget This is 2015 The idea of a personal shopper Is one for super duper rich people And so the way it's portrayed on TV And then the fact that we've never heard of it Okay no surprise Okay Right Gwen knows everybody in the mall

[00:18:27] She's walking through the mall She's like spurt on perfume And she's like I love that Kathy That's such a great smile And you know she's like Buying presents for everybody She gets the best gift We get like a little montage Of her giving someone gloves And they're like

[00:18:41] Oh my god how did you know My hands are so small These gloves fit perfect You know she like Pays attention to details She gets it You know who doesn't Pay attention to details Dan Josh Milne Who's Josh Milne Is that the lead Oh Charlie Baker Yeah

[00:18:57] Charlie Baker Doesn't pay attention to details He's too busy He's too busy Patrick He is very busy He is a downtown Office person Business owner He sure is It's all very nebulous I mean Travis Milne of course And he knew that Thank you Meredith Right Charlie Baker is

[00:19:15] And I Patrick You and I both know What his job is And we'll say it on the cat Of three One, two, three Stock Business Mannequin I think he's a mannequin He said business It's fantastic Yeah Gwen is assigned to be His shopper for the holiday season

[00:19:35] Because he's too busy To possibly by presence She goes to the office In her Dodge Stratus Name Daisy It's her dad's car Very sentimental Delores Drey My favorite movie star Is the reception assistant And she's like Oh Charlie's in a meeting Hold on

[00:20:00] And she just has behind her Like a shell full of coffee mugs Coffee mugs everywhere And Gwen's like What's up with the coffee mugs? Delores is like He gives me a mug For literally every occasion And it's like the worst gift But she keeps it all

[00:20:17] And keeps putting them up So That is true That is giving the wrong message Giving the wrong vibe there If you don't want mugs Maybe don't put them up Every year, you know Right And anybody who gives mugs As a gift I'm so sorry

[00:20:31] But you are about to get dragged By this movie This movie really hates coffee mugs Has a vendetta against coffee mugs Have you been upset by a coffee mug gift before? Never Ever I always think they're funny And I mean I'll probably throw it away But whatever

[00:20:47] It's a good joke Let's go ahead and take that coffee mug Out of Patrick's world Sexy certified coffee mug Go ahead and take it out We know he doesn't need it You don't need coffee mugs Is what the I think the reason the gift is like

[00:20:59] You have coffee mugs already Yes Yeah, I think we get it Everyone does Yeah But I didn't want to say sexy certified on it Maybe you do I don't know I'm pretty sure I did So Charlie He's no fun, right? He just gives coffee mugs for a gift

[00:21:14] He doesn't want to dress up for the holidays He only wears gray and black suits That's it And Gwen is like What? I cannot have this She drops down to her knees And she does And gets like Measuring tape Measuring tape She does what? I know

[00:21:31] When it came out of my mouth It was inappropriate But she's measuring She's measuring for measuring guys She was doing the measuring tape It's lifetime, man It's different Yeah She's like Whoa What are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, she's like

[00:21:48] The big saying there from Patrick is It's measuring She's measuring Even more What's she measuring, Patrick? She's big save from drops down to her knees The inseam The inseam She's measuring Come on, guys Where's your mind going? That's what they're calling it

[00:22:05] She's going to get a nice suit Designed for him And he's just like She's too much She's doing too much Coming into the office He's like I don't even know why he here And he's talking about his son Like he needs a gift for his son

[00:22:21] And the teacher would get a gift or whatever The son has to get a gift for the teacher And Gwen's like Well, why don't you just ask your wife Like what the teacher likes Because Charlie has no idea what to get her A mug And he's like

[00:22:37] My wife is dead 2015 was better It was a better time Does he go that hard on it? My wife is dead He just says My wife is dead And that's the end of the conversation We just go to another scene or a break Gwen's like Okay, noted

[00:22:54] And yeah We go to another scene She does some online research I think we go to a break, Patrick There we go We got it I think we go to a break As will we We'll be right back here at Dignalmer We're back Welcome back everybody

[00:23:19] Hopefully everyone has their in-seams measured Yeah And we can dive back into this movie We just found out that Charlie's wife is dead She's there Dad We don't really get more details until later We learned that Gwen is living with her sister Beverly Mitchell

[00:23:38] Beverly Mitchell is forcing her husband to be on all types of diets throughout the movie This movie loves diets and fat jokes So 2015 This movie is insane This poor guy Every scene he's in There is a joke about how much he eats Yeah

[00:23:55] And he's not even that big Like he's not like He's just us hanging out Yeah Just us hanging out How dare they Beverly Mitchell has a weight standard for her husband She like has a BMI chart I mean she's She's going crazy She's going crazy

[00:24:13] But it's Beverly Mitchell I think she was bringing that 2016 Every day Every day she gets on her knees and she measures The in-scene To see how much he eats That's right That's how you do it Yes

[00:24:28] We already talked about why Beverly Mitchell is not the star of this movie And how that's crazy She's also very nosy and tries to set Gwen up on dates With like a psychologist and stuff And like she wants

[00:24:43] Basically she wants Gwen to find a man and get out of her house Is the whole storyline there I can't stress this enough At one point Her husband drops cookies on the floor And he's like three second rule and she is beside herself Like is just

[00:25:00] Why'd you marry him? I don't know Like that's not new behavior Like dude has been doing that all while you were dating And it's like the nerve to say that only big people Abide by the three second rule Faults We all do it, right?

[00:25:15] Dude was it crashing through the snow Where there's four of them And I was like there's three people who look amazing One dude who looks like us Right And we got an email when I said that That was like why are you fat shaming

[00:25:27] To me and I'm like No this movie Fat shaming This movie should have been called Wrapped in Fat Shaming Yeah You know So Charlie and Gwen continue to have their little shopping They have a love hate thing going Which is like the hottest Christmas romance type

[00:25:44] Because it gets, they get hot They get angry And there's like tension We're just waiting for that like bottle of the burst The whole movie right Yeah So Gwen goes out on a limb She goes shopping at Charlie's tailor Who happens to have all the measurements Yes

[00:26:01] She didn't need to take the measurements Yeah she didn't even need to get down there And take those measurements No she didn't She is set on a purple pinstripe suit It brings out his hazel eyes The purple brings out the hazel huh Interesting Yeah

[00:26:15] I mean behind these hazel eyes Right Does she have her 45 on? Right We know it's not the same singer Right We know Back off Kelly Clark and Cheryl Crowe are different people Our best friend So they say Charlie also gets shamed for gaining weight

[00:26:36] But because the suit doesn't fit The suit doesn't fit when he tries it on And Gwen is like Somebody must have gained weight Somebody must have gained weight And he's like No I didn't And she is like teasing him Like fatty fat fat fat You know

[00:26:52] She says that in the movie She says fatty fat fat fat No She doesn't Dan She doesn't But she does She does say somebody gained some weight She does I think somebody had some extra cookies And later he goes home and he gets on the scale

[00:27:07] And he's like Oh no this scale must be broken Like and he's all sad And then he turns into a Santa Claus He starts growing the beard It's the whole thing Right And I'm like LOL these fat jokes are hilarious in 2015 I think in 2015

[00:27:24] They may have been funny because they were about men You know So they were like We're flipping it We're gonna flip it And we have to think about the men They flipped it hard A lot of hard Turns out

[00:27:37] Turns out fat jokes are mean regardless of the gender What? Get out of here Yeah Maybe we should just stop commenting on that So The gift giving That Gwen is doing all the gifts It starts to pay off for Charlie right? Yeah it does His clients are like

[00:27:53] Whoa that was a really thoughtful gift you gave us How did you even know? He lands like the biggest client from some gift backed Basket Gwen gives him The wife loves the chocolate macaroons or whatever Gwen also decorates the office Much to Charlie's dismay

[00:28:11] But his son who speaks in Marble Mouth Garble The whole movie Adorable child Adorable child Adorable child But he speaks in that child that only the parents can understand What they're saying You know that age when you're that age? I do know that age Yeah

[00:28:31] Yeah he's cute though Cute kid And he comes into the office and he's like Wow Is it reverse Charlie Brown? Yeah yeah it is It's just a kid's wow Apparently he liked it Apparently he liked the decorations Big fan And he's a big fan of Gwen

[00:28:52] Because anytime Gwen's around he lights up And they start like they hang out together one day Cause he's too busy Like it was supposed to be It was supposed to be take your kid to work day And he ditches his kid like immediately Oh yeah Classic Charlie

[00:29:08] Classic another classic 2015 He's very into work He's very into work He's very into work They don't like the thing about They don't like paint Charlie to be Like this bad like awful person But it just like I think part of it like 2015 It was like this was like

[00:29:25] Oh yeah the guy, the dad Dads aren't involved Nah And uh 2015 Yes 2015 I don't know It wasn't like they were When they actively try to make a character awful Now like this was just like It was passive Passive daddy Yeah he's just kind of a Move to parenting

[00:29:44] Like my wife died Now I have this kid Yeah my wife is dead But don't worry there's a potential Wife replacement We have our bitchy brown Brown-haired woman Also known as a brunette Cause what you said was Bitchy brown brown-headed woman And that's something totally different Yes

[00:30:06] But this is an archetype In these movies This is probably where Where it really solidified I think cause this woman Her name is Victoria She starts off the movie On the phone Stealing a cab from a young family That's shopping and the kids

[00:30:22] Literally like stick their tongues out at her And uh are like You're the worst Okay Brown-haired woman She has her hair pulled back The whole movie Does not let those tendrils fall She's brown-headed girl I don't know what to tell you She thinks Gwen is classless

[00:30:40] She thinks Gwen is a dumb dumb And she Uh thinks kids love wagyu beef burgers With wasabi cotton candy foam I do just want to point this out Let me tell you Kids may not But I'm here for it Can I just

[00:31:00] So I want to append a sentence Am I now pulling for whomever What's her name again? Victoria Of course Victoria convinces Charlie To go with her to this fancy restaurant The boy comes along And doesn't want to touch the burger And they leave without eating at all

[00:31:21] He tries the burger But it's wasabi So he's like Uh this is really spicy I want a regular burger He says it's spicy Well he actually says Never would drop a drop You had the captions on Uh I was going to get into another

[00:31:36] Star Wars movie at some point It uh It was too spicy It's spicy Do your kids like spicy stuff at all? Um Gav more than Chris Oh yeah My kids love it They take Frank's red hot sauce And just create a pool On the side of their plate

[00:31:52] To dip stuff in Yeah That's great I love that I'll get you Right? It's a fun time So go ahead sorry Since they can't Eat at this fancy restaurant They leave Victoria And Charlie and Owen Go to Gwen Slash Beverly Mitchell's house For actual burgers They eat normal

[00:32:11] Like just like Sesame seed bun And lettuce And whatever the thing is Um And When Was that the big Mac song? That you were doing I was trying I was trying to do it Sesame seed bun and lettuce Whatever the thing is But yeah I realized

[00:32:28] Sesame seed bun Lettuce Whatever the thing is Exactly You got it though From Sesame seed bun Yeah Charlie and Gwen Get to talking And she talks about her dad Who passed away He's dead He's dead He's dead She gets cold So he gives her her jacket

[00:32:47] We love that Um And he like Intentionally ignores A phone call from Victoria So we know it's getting serious It is getting serious Look out It is getting serious And they make little Snowman marshmallow Things To like You know roast marshmallows But it's like a big

[00:33:02] And they make little You know roast marshmallows But it's like a big A big marshmallow A medium and a small And I thought that was adorable And we should bring that back It's adorable But it's not practical You need three different Size of marshmallows

[00:33:13] In your house at all times To make that pass Possible Yeah That's a lot of marshmallows That my kid would just Eat a bag of when I wasn't looking Seem fun It seemed fun It does seem fun You are right about that I don't have kids So

[00:33:26] There you go You can handle that type of responsibility My kid would be in the pantry If he knew that was in the pantry He would be in the pantry As soon as I was out of sight And he had a half bag down

[00:33:34] Before I got back in the room Yeah, I love marshmallows Wow Yeah We got a shopping montage Because of course We have to have a shopping montage She's a personal shopper When When uses a nose trimmer On herself And she's like Oh god A nose trimmer

[00:33:48] She tries to wrap a yoga ball Like she's like How do I do this with paper And then she just ends up Like bouncing around And like rolling around on it Very silly Very silly Like a public domain Christmas boy or what A terrible Yeah

[00:34:02] Public domain Christmas song Yeah, it was Got it But she eventually gets Everything wrapped And Charlie's like Wow, you come to the Christmas work party And she's like I don't know I'm not I don't work here And Dolores Drake is like Well You are employed by Charlie

[00:34:19] So technically You are his employee So you could come And This is all great Before they go Gwent That's little pine tree Cuff links In his shirt Charlie's shirt To give him a more festive look Okay I mean if that doesn't turn

[00:34:38] If that doesn't make people like you I don't know what will It's the cuff links Everybody knows Yeah First thing someone notices about you Is how festive your cuff links are Duh Yeah, so he goes and mingles And Dolores Drake is like Hey First of all

[00:34:52] Love the present you got me For my back A back brace Cause my back My back's been bothering me From the chair And she has like A nice face for her chair now So it's great And she's like I'm not a fan of Victoria

[00:35:03] Because she seems more like A business partner to Charlie You know kind of giving Gwent Like the go ahead Like you should make a move And this is when we play our game We have a fun game Guests the holiday song

[00:35:16] They play a piano version of the song And people are guessing right Yeah We love this song And when you When you guess Right you have to sing So of course Victoria guesses correctly And refuses to sing Don't make me sing Don't make me sing Yes

[00:35:32] But she's really like Don't make me sing Or I'll like sue everyone in this office Yeah The way that she like Reacted I thought she was cheating somehow Like that's how Against singing she was She got it right It was like up on the house top

[00:35:48] And they're like You have to sing it And she's like Oh no It was like someone Shazam'd a song And it was like I didn't see it I didn't see it It was a very weird reaction But she did not want to sing Yes But Gwen and Charlie

[00:36:03] Are tasked to sing Because they answer at the same time And they're like jinx And then they're like Oh my god we have to sing together And I brought a clip of them singing So you could hear the lovely sounds At this moment Gwen is chugging her wine

[00:36:16] Which I loved Cause she's like I gotta Gotta get ready And then here they go Here they go Charlie's like Should I sing along with you? Right Maybe I should start singing along with you There he is There he is Wow It's very moving Yes And her performance

[00:36:44] Yeah no Her performance is very Like a middle school chorus teacher You know what I mean? It's better than when Kelly Pickler sang it In Graceland so Totally And then I believe Another movie She loves Silent Night She loves Silent Night They do a nice little Listen

[00:37:03] For spur of the moment Not knowing that you have to do a duet It's not bad Alright Not bad You know Gwen carries the whole performance Really because Charlie is just kind of like half singing But she gets upset because she's I'm coming Victoria is being a hater

[00:37:24] And just talks trash about Gwen So she runs away and goes in her car And starts crying The car won't start So Victoria and Charlie see her outside They're like do you need help? And Victoria's like well this Jalopy of a car And she like smacks it

[00:37:41] And then it starts up And Gwen gets the heck out of there Classic But Victoria Is trying to get Charlie to propose to her And she's like Hey so remember how you were Like gonna buy a ring And blah blah blah

[00:37:54] And before she can like really get into it The pine scent from the Cufflinks Makes her sneeze She starts having allergies from From nature And she's like I gotta get away from you You're like making me sneeze So he sends her in a cab home

[00:38:10] So now we know Brunettes with allergies Will never find love Yeah No chance That is the moral of this story Yeah For sure Yeah Yeah Decorating montage happens More Psycho sounding Christmas music Here I didn't record it But it was bad Very bad That was a fun little

[00:38:33] That was a fun little tag there Patrick Were you Were you born out there What were you doing I don't know I was being like that That joke where you're like I am the window viper You know I don't know I don't know that joke

[00:38:48] I don't know this I don't know the setup All I know is the punchline I am the window viper I am the window viper I am the window viper Why did you say window And then viper Like what would we say Well he says He says window viper

[00:39:03] I am the Window viper It's a joke Look it up That wouldn't make any sense Hey Dan we're gonna take a break Well we're taking a break Yeah And you look up the joke And then we'll get on the other side I'll break here and take it over

[00:39:24] Welcome back everybody We're talkin' about the movie You heard the title of Dan you got the window viper Yeah this is a quarter of a red I'm the viper. I'm coming next month. She hangs up thinking it was a prank and forgets about it.

[00:39:36] A few weeks goes by and she gets another call. I'm the viper. I'll be there tomorrow. Now she's worried. She calls the police and tells them the next day there's a squad car across the street. Her phone rings. I'm the viper. I'm coming for you.

[00:39:51] She runs across the street, tells the police, she's calling the police. I'm the viper. I'm coming for you. She runs across the street, tells the waiting officers. They tell her to keep calm and go back inside. 15 minutes later there's a knock at the door. She opens.

[00:40:07] There's an old guy waiting outside with a bucket and a squeegee. I'm the viper. I've come to vibe the windows. There you go. Oh my gosh. That was stuck in my brain from who knows when. I say Christmas in July doesn't bring out the best in us.

[00:40:25] I say otherwise. Oh my gosh. We've got our 45 on. I can tell you that right now. Yes. Okay. Sorry about that. So Victoria leaves town. She leaves Gwen and Charlie and Owen. Time to bond. They play football. Brandomly. What was the football about? That was weird.

[00:40:45] That was weird. He's a good dad. Okay, okay. Charlie asked Gwen. You're so good at giving gifts for everyone else. What do you want for Christmas? She says no. They almost kiss. But what about Victoria? Gwen says you're going to be married to her.

[00:41:04] You're going to get engaged. He's like I don't know about that. But Victoria comes back and she's like me to Gwen again. She tells her to like, can you go out and shop for rings for me? Because I'm about to get engaged. And here's what I like.

[00:41:20] And Gwen's like you're not my boss. So don't tell me what to do. But also she's like, oh no. Charlie's going to propose to Victoria. She's very upset. She doesn't know whether to believe her or not. Because she's like hey he's getting ready to propose.

[00:41:34] Which would make you think like oh they've talked about it. So it's tough. Yeah. And Victoria is like ready to go in all in on this family. She buys a house. She buys a house. She buys plane tickets to the beach.

[00:41:49] She's going to take them on a Christmas resort. And they're like we don't want to go to the beach at Christmas. Like what are you talking about? And you should have talked to us about this before. And Charlie takes her out to dinner and he's like

[00:41:59] you know what? Or he says what's my eye color? And she's like I don't know brown. What are you talking about? Where's my ring? And he's like my eyes are hazel or green. Oh my gosh. I think you might say green. And he's like we're done. It's over.

[00:42:20] And it is like the most distinct breakup I've loved it. I was like great. And I will just say this is a bold move though. Because we know your rules on breakups around the holidays. We know how you feel about them. Right. You gotta wait. You gotta wait.

[00:42:36] You gotta wait until the news. Yeah. And Victoria is like we can work it out. We can work it out. I'm the Vindavaipa. I'm the Vindavaipa. Meanwhile, Gwen is finishing up her final shopping items. She sees that engagement ring gets the wrong idea. She storms out hysterical crying.

[00:42:55] But not really. But it would be funny. And she ends up eating a bunch of Christmas cookies and looking sad for a while. That's right. Her mom pops up. I was like what is the mom doing? I'm surprised there were any cookies left over with the brother-in-law around.

[00:43:14] Any other broken? Any breaks? In the cookies? Yeah, or anywhere. No. We already took two. Wow. Could have sworn we had only taken one. Oh cool. You were looking up the cookies broken, Patrick. You were looking up the joke during the last break. That's right. No breaks here.

[00:43:43] No. So, yes. Basically what happens is Charlie doesn't have Gwen come back to work the next day and he's like what the heck? So he leaves town. He goes to a cabin with his son. He doesn't bring a toboggan which is what the kid really wanted.

[00:44:03] How they understood that. I have no idea. Toboggan is a hard word to say because he's an adult. And it could mean sledding. It could mean sledding. It could mean hat, right? Boy, I've made that mistake, haven't we all? He wants the sled. In case you were wondering

[00:44:23] the kid did not ask for a hat. He didn't ask for a hat. He would like a sled. Delores Drake realizes the sled is left behind and tells Gwen hey you should take this up to the cabin. I think it's all been a misunderstanding.

[00:44:37] He gets her old Jalopy car puts the sled in the back. Sinks really off key driving to the cabin for some reason. I was like why is she all of a sudden bad at singing? Really made me mad. And the car breaks down, of course.

[00:44:51] She has to carry the sled in her stiletto boots to the bus station. What I loved about this bus station is it's just a little bench. It is a little tiny house. It's a little tiny, I don't know.

[00:45:07] This guy is sitting there and he's like where you want to go? And she's like I want to go here. And I guess that's how it works on the side of the road. There's just a bus station on the side of the road and you can get there.

[00:45:17] Yeah, and she does. She takes the three hour bus drive or whatever it is and Trout is like what are you doing here? And she's like oh I just had to make your son's wish come true and he has a gift for Gwen. The coffee mugs of Christmas.

[00:45:35] Everyone just gives snow globes out all the time at Christmas. Means nothing. But she loves it because it has snow in it, of course. So she gets her snow. Then it really starts snowing outside and they realize their feelings for each other. They kiss

[00:45:55] and then the little kid interrupts but he's adorable and he's in Ugg boots in 2015 and they look outside it's snowing and that's the end of the movie. We did it. We did do it everybody. Our second Lifetime Christmas in July movie. Patrick, what do we do now bud?

[00:46:17] Yeah so now we are going to decide if we are into it or not into it. Pour it up. If we are into it, put a cork in it. If we are not into it, dance since you haven't seen the movie and you used your imagination

[00:46:27] because everyone was in trash bags the whole time. The trash bags Missy Elliott thing helped a lot. I would say this sounds like a movie and I'm not going to get the title wrong. 12 gifts of Christmas, 12 presents of Christmas. It's Katrina Law and the dude from the

[00:46:41] made together made for each other movie. Katrina Law did another Christmas movie? I know she's done two, I think three max. She, that movie I'm a as you all know big Katrina Law fan that movie I only thought was okay. This sounds like a

[00:46:59] worse version of that movie so for me it sounds pretty generic. I'm going to put a cork in it. Okay, that's bad. Sorry, not sorry. What are you thinking? I loved it. I thought it was a blast. You know 2015 it's a sweet time.

[00:47:17] I always feel when I go back to 2015 lots of times I'm like this is nice. I don't need it all the time but it was nice this movie was nice. And yeah I like how you feel when you blast your Kanye West. That's exactly right. So I'm pouring

[00:47:35] Time and place. I'm pouring it up and I'm also pouring it up for the Vendor Viper joke. That was almost worth it there. Well thank you for that. Yeah, I think you guys are right. So if you look at this movie at face value it is nothing special.

[00:47:51] It is very run-of-the-mill TV movie. And I think the most recent special I think is the time and place that it was existing in. It was right at the precipice of this whole kind of boom of Christmas movies that we have all experienced

[00:48:07] and it really kind of shows like what's the little special like ingredient like chemistry that cannot be described that makes these movies so rewatchable I've seen this one like many times and it's definitely one you could have on and just kind of half watch

[00:48:27] and have like a enjoyable time. So I would pour it up as well. So this came out the same year as 12 gifts of Christmas at home. So they were dueling it out. Secret shopper movies. Right, yeah that makes sense. On Lifetime on Court Patrick

[00:48:43] he also said LOL bring back the fat jokes. So He didn't say it everybody. No I didn't. I will say this movie was just listed on YouTube the past year and already has a million views on YouTube. And the comments are all like

[00:49:01] I watch this movie every year. You just paid somebody $10. It's unbelievable. They got some good money off of this one. I think a lot of people have seen this movie over the years and it's basically like what's it called? It's a wonderful life of these movies for Lifetime.

[00:49:19] This is it's a... Oh okay and how much it's revered? For Lifetime. Specific. But I forgot that subplot where George Bailey had a secret shopper. Well and Lifetime doesn't have many... I got another mock man. Yes, Lifetime doesn't have many Christmas classics. So let's give them this one.

[00:49:39] Alright, next week I think we are getting another real classic with 12 Men of Christmas 2009. If you thought 2015 was irreverent stay tuned for the other one. Get ready, get ready. My fellow certified sexy Christian Chenoweths. That's right. Well, certified sexy I get to say it how I want.

[00:50:05] That's true. That comes with the certifications. She calls me Patrick Patrick Sierra now. On the back of the certificate it says you can say name however we want to. That's right. I'm dying for one of these certificate. What do we got to do around here?

[00:50:19] To be certified sexy? We will try for years. We will be back next week with another Lifetime movie and of course we, Dan, you and I will be back tomorrow for another ABC Family movie. So jealous. Missletones. Oh my God. Real quick. Hot take on Missletones. Tori Spelling

[00:50:39] The Good Mowry Sister What Could Go Wrong Nothing. This movie is perfect. There is a literal musical in the middle of the movie It should be on Broadway. It also sits right in the middle of the run of Glee on television from no coincidence whatsoever. Right? Yeah.

[00:51:01] Totally Glee inspired. Glee ripoff and I loved it. We will share our hot takes tomorrow until then may be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. The best of the Bramble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shea. For more information

[00:51:17] on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to www.DectheHallmark.com For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to www.BrambleJamPlus.com Deck the Hallmark is presented by Filo TV for a free trial of Filo. Go to filo.tv.com

[00:51:36] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. You're listening to me, hi.

[00:51:50] But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep, here they are. Happy day.