Deck the Lifetime Uncorked - Planes, Trains, and Christmas Trees (Lifetime - 2023) ft. Patrick Serrano

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Brandon. I love Lifetime Christmas movies

[00:00:04] I'm Patrick Serrano, and I am a Lifetime movie expert

[00:00:07] I'm Dan, and I despise Lifetime Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Uncorked podcast

[00:00:13] Go

[00:00:15] Post post post turkey post turkey

[00:00:20] Shake that turkey out shake that turkey out gobble gobble gobble. Oh hi everybody's turkey post turkey

[00:00:27] Is this Friday? Is this Black Friday? This is Saturday Saturday, of course it is so post shopping

[00:00:32] Post shopping post turkey business Saturday small business Saturday

[00:00:37] Yeah, so donate to

[00:00:39] Deck The Hallmark we are a small business that will you get shop deck the home or comm slash shop

[00:00:44] We got black Friday deals going on week-end long that sweater. Hey, yeah sweaters out there. Yeah, it is

[00:00:50] Mmm

[00:00:55] Patrick how was your Thanksgiving amazing I went to a mansion

[00:01:03] It's wherever the mean girls is set that town I forget what it's called

[00:01:08] I don't know that town for all the money in the world couldn't tell you but like a Chicago suburb

[00:01:14] Very wealthy so went there they had an indoor pool a friend a friend

[00:01:20] Not family a friend not family he calls her bunny. He calls her okay his bunny his bunny

[00:01:27] She's not his grandma, but she's a grandma figure who's very wealthy, and I'm like you got to get not well

[00:01:33] You gotta get now. Well, I gotta get a will in the

[00:01:38] Sounds bad. It sounds dirty it does

[00:01:41] I think I'm in I'm in the will now

[00:01:43] You're in the wheel that it went that way was that good a Thanksgiving huh good for you

[00:01:48] I did a full turkey lurky dance

[00:01:53] It's from promises promises it's a musical from the 60s, and there's a song called turkey lurky and

[00:02:00] There's a dance that goes with the only reason I know promises promises is because I do listen to smart

[00:02:04] List from time to time and they don't need a plug on this podcast

[00:02:07] But because they basically stole our entire bit

[00:02:10] but but the

[00:02:12] Sean Hayes was in promises promises, and they do they make fun of him all the time

[00:02:16] All right, you're not gonna do the turkey lurky dance for us. I would need a larger than this screen could could hold

[00:02:23] It's a it's full

[00:02:25] It's a full production value, and that's how you got my knees well a turkey jerky

[00:02:29] You got a jerk your knuckle around being the turkey. It's it's a whole thing

[00:02:33] You gotta stretch you got to do neck rolls and stuff. Yeah, it's dangerous. Yeah now does bunny cook Thanksgiving herself

[00:02:41] Or does she cater that junk in oh?

[00:02:43] No, no she does I mean in the mansion

[00:02:47] I don't want to make assumptions like yeah just cuz you're rich doesn't mean you don't like to come here from producer

[00:02:52] And then she does it's Evanston Evanston Illinois is what we're looking for there you go

[00:02:58] You know that's good people were probably screaming in the I found out last week

[00:03:02] Patrick that our figure skating talk got a bowl

[00:03:06] They were so angry that we didn't know that it was Tara Lepinsky. Oh that we had numerous messages of

[00:03:14] Yeah, air wasn't here, but apparently we talked about Michelle Kwan and I was throwing out every skater name

[00:03:21] I was a try I just was throwing out all the skater names

[00:03:24] I knew to prove my skater cred you are a skater boy. I was a skater boy

[00:03:28] I said see you later. Yeah boy and and and it was Tara Lepinsky is what we were looking for

[00:03:35] Not caragin harding or Yamaguchi people do you still want that pot?

[00:03:41] I threw that one out. I didn't have four and then I we are in the wrong generation of

[00:03:47] You and I were like that was like the 92 or 94 Olympics and and

[00:03:52] Lepinsky was like the 98 Olympics

[00:03:55] speaking to the Mike

[00:03:58] Patrick I'll relay it

[00:04:02] Patrick spend Thanksgiving in

[00:04:05] An Olympic winning figure skater was from that town. Do you know who that is what?

[00:04:10] Olympic figure skater is from Evanston that that is won a gold medal

[00:04:15] Brian boy Tano

[00:04:17] No, he's Canadian. It's gotta be I'm just going to the four names. I know

[00:04:23] How about Jason Brown is it Jason Brown?

[00:04:27] Is it Jason Brown is it Scott Hamilton

[00:04:32] Is it Midori Edo

[00:04:35] Evan Lysichak Lysichak Lysichak

[00:04:38] Not Lysichak Lysichak

[00:04:43] Daily Lysichak yeah, come on in well sounds like you had a great Thanksgiving

[00:04:49] Tests to a road to your skating

[00:04:52] Check that off the list. All right, I talk about plane trains and Christmas trees

[00:04:58] The second oh

[00:05:02] Brian boy Tano not Canadian

[00:05:04] Brian Orser is don't you know your battle of the Bryant's I don't once again

[00:05:10] I know about ten names from figure skating and I'm throwing them out and on a loop

[00:05:16] I'm starting to lose interest in my own podcast

[00:05:19] That's all I'm doing. I don't know anything about any of the boy Tano because South Park had the what with Brian boy Tano do song

[00:05:27] Oh, that's fun. I mean they're Canadian men. So I thought that's why there you go. No fair enough where it came from

[00:05:34] Yeah, so

[00:05:37] American playing trains and automobiles also

[00:05:41] Oh

[00:05:42] Not automobiles Christmas trees

[00:05:45] Plane trains and automobiles has John Candy in it. Who's also Canadian so we did bring it full circle. There you go

[00:05:52] That's exactly right

[00:05:55] Plane trains and Christmas

[00:05:58] Movie here we go. It stars Catherine Davis

[00:06:03] Oliver Rednude and Richard

[00:06:06] Now

[00:06:17] His last name is just googly eyes in an animated picture

[00:06:22] Okay, all right now the lead here Catherine Davis

[00:06:28] We saw her in

[00:06:32] The Valentine welcome to Valentine

[00:06:35] That one I knew she looked familiar had the I am to be in a

[00:06:39] Assuming that the indb is correct. That's course always that's who that is but lots to get to in this one

[00:06:45] Patrick so take it away by totally so

[00:06:48] We have Kayla she is shopping at I thought of mall, but then it turned out to be an airport

[00:06:54] She's in one of those airport Christmas shops as they have

[00:06:59] I'm sorry

[00:07:01] Chat they tell us that the creators of South Park are also not Canadian

[00:07:10] Let's take it on the chin in this episode

[00:07:14] They're Canadian, you know, they're Canadian. That's great

[00:07:19] Just assume everyone's Canadian

[00:07:21] Actually especially in this movie. Oh boy there. There are some Canadian accents going on

[00:07:26] No one in this movie

[00:07:31] A fellow traveler

[00:07:34] Just real quick and I'm sorry there is there

[00:07:37] She is shopping and she's buying a snow globe. They don't sell snow globes in airports, right?

[00:07:43] I've seen it. That is a weapon that is a weapon. Yeah, you break that sucker you stab you call it a day

[00:07:49] You break that sucker you stab you call it a day man

[00:07:53] Yeah, right the damn you call all the day

[00:07:58] Well, huh

[00:08:00] You not see that movie with Diane Lane with where the Canadian

[00:08:05] Diane Lane and Richard gear unfaithful unfaithful

[00:08:09] I've seen some of it. I don't weapon of the weapon of choice is a snow globe

[00:08:14] I feel like you could get one of the duty free. You think so. I don't know

[00:08:19] I

[00:08:21] Have had them cut but going you can't take it through and of course, but you can buy one in they can't sell them

[00:08:27] They can't so may I don't know that was my big take my big takeaway from this movie is

[00:08:32] The this is not safe. We're not safe. We're not okay great

[00:08:38] That's the challenge that's the challenge to the listeners this year look for snow globes

[00:08:43] Look if somebody sees them tag us on social media at home our podcast and at lifetime on court. Let us know

[00:08:52] So is Google telling me that snow globes are less about the glass and more about the water about the liquid

[00:09:00] Why are we so worried about liquid?

[00:09:04] Like there's got to be an answer why are we so worried about you could only take it if it's just a little bit like

[00:09:10] That's glass. It's it's a glass ball

[00:09:14] To be clear a blunt object that killed the hot guy in unfaithful and unfaithful watch unfaithful

[00:09:21] Anyway, she buys a she buys a snow globe

[00:09:24] She does and there is this creepy guy his name is Brett and he looks at Kaylee

[00:09:30] Like lurking he's like lurking around he like follows her on the airport the vibe was off

[00:09:35] I was like this guy if this is a lifetime movie this guy is a stalker. You know what I mean?

[00:09:42] Yeah, it was yeah, it wasn't giving romance. It was a weird me cute and I didn't like it no

[00:09:48] No, and they get they get called to the that the

[00:09:52] Though oh my god. What is it called the inner time? Yeah

[00:09:55] The the the flight attendant booth at the booth and they're like your flights canceled

[00:10:01] However, we see that Kaylee and Brett are both

[00:10:05] Travelers and you guys should travel together and get a car and drive together

[00:10:10] Good luck. We can't rebook your flight. Good luck and

[00:10:14] Kaylee's like I'm not comfortable with this. I don't know this man

[00:10:18] But the flight attendant said it so they do it they get a they rent a car

[00:10:23] It is slightly more complicated than this he is really pushing it

[00:10:28] He's like we should do this she does try to rent a car. There are no more available

[00:10:33] So the she doesn't have a choice in this matter, but he is really pushing it he yeah

[00:10:41] He's all creepy. He's all on this idea. Yes. What are you gonna sleep in the airport?

[00:10:46] Wouldn't you rather sleep while I'm driving you somewhere? No, she's like no, no, I don't want to do that

[00:10:53] That's weird. I don't want after I don't lower a form you

[00:10:56] Yes with this liquid in the snow globe

[00:10:59] I

[00:11:02] It's gonna be a little bad a little amount of liquid but it's still liquid. Yeah

[00:11:07] She's like, okay, we'll go but I have a boyfriend just so you know

[00:11:10] I have a boyfriend and he's big and strong and he will beat you up

[00:11:14] And they're driving she talks about her job. She's an event planner and a perfectionist

[00:11:21] He's like I'll take you to the train station since you seem kind of uncomfortable

[00:11:25] And maybe you could take a train so we've got the planes. We've got the trains now. We need the Christmas tree

[00:11:33] Yeah, yes, yes correct

[00:11:35] They're on a train. So we really got those out of the way the train unfortunately didn't run there are no trains

[00:11:42] Are they missed they missed it?

[00:11:43] Plane trains and Christmas trees there is no automobile

[00:11:45] There are a couple of train closed calls, but there are no trains in this movie

[00:11:49] Yeah, they they don't like he has to stop for a bathroom break and that causes her to miss the train

[00:11:55] So it's plain trains and parentheses close enough

[00:11:59] And Christmas trees and the car is really we don't even title the car is implied

[00:12:05] Then a winter storm hits and they get diverted and Brett just happens to

[00:12:10] Have his hometown like right nearby and he's like let's go there. I haven't been there in a long time

[00:12:14] My uncle owns a

[00:12:17] Airbnb or a bed and breakfast or something

[00:12:19] Yes, now both of them. They're trying to get to new york city. He's trying to get to new york city to spend Christmas with his kid

[00:12:25] He's trying to get to new york city because she has a big event that she's playing in

[00:12:29] But they do get stranded in his hometown

[00:12:32] Which happens a tough break happens to be where they're passing through

[00:12:37] So it's good. Uh, good for that

[00:12:39] The kid I will say doesn't come until act three

[00:12:42] That's true. We know the kid does not we don't learn about the kid

[00:12:46] He he's all we know is he used to be a pro quarterback. Yeah, he used to be a pro quarterback now. He's a sports agent

[00:12:53] Um, old as these people. I don't know man, but um, what is happening?

[00:12:58] The weird thing also about this going back to this guy is it's like

[00:13:02] Hey, we should this storm is really coming and you need it

[00:13:06] It's basically like take my word for it. The storm's coming. We should stay in my uncle's barn

[00:13:11] It was

[00:13:13] real real creepy

[00:13:16] It it doesn't stop getting creepy with this guy like this guy is

[00:13:20] Going to kill her at some point

[00:13:24] It's gonna happen plain trains coughing

[00:13:27] staff call it a day call today. Yeah, yeah break staff called a day

[00:13:33] Yes, kaley

[00:13:35] daily gets

[00:13:37] To her room and she gets a call from her boyfriend nick

[00:13:40] She ignores the call she keeps ignoring the call from him every time he calls throughout the whole movie

[00:13:45] I don't know. She may have might answer at one time, but she answers it. Yeah, she answers it a couple of times

[00:13:51] But it is clear that she's uh

[00:13:53] Going through some stuff through some stuff. Yeah

[00:13:56] And she's very worried about a work meeting that she has scheduled

[00:14:01] she's planning an event in new york one of those new york christmas events and uh

[00:14:06] It's like she's never heard of a zoom call like she's never heard of a zoom call like it's

[00:14:11] What kind really you say one of those new york christmas events? What do you mean?

[00:14:16] Is that the kind that happen? Yeah, like it's a christmas eve party. Okay got it. Okay

[00:14:21] Yeah, and like this could be the one that really puts her on the map. I think is what she says

[00:14:26] Oh, yeah puts her on the event planning man. She has somebody coming

[00:14:30] um who had

[00:14:32] She books the artist that had the number one new christmas song last year

[00:14:37] She's playing at her party and it might put her on the map. Wow, so

[00:14:41] Think about who that might be in real life

[00:14:44] Could be anybody could be anybody. I don't know

[00:14:46] I don't know who was it who's the new artist that had the hot new song last year

[00:14:51] But think about who that could be and that's who it is love it

[00:14:54] But she does say who the artist is doesn't she yeah, she says the name

[00:15:00] But I think it's a made up name, right?

[00:15:03] Could be a canadian get in catch the name. No, who is it?

[00:15:07] It was like riba mcglacklin

[00:15:12] We're just gonna drop a riba mcglacklin

[00:15:16] Your name is riba mcglacklin mcglacklin. You're changing your name for your for your stage name

[00:15:22] You're not going to be that close to riba mac and tire

[00:15:25] True mcglacklin. Yeah, it was riba something and I was like, how are we just gonna drop in a riba and not have a

[00:15:32] Dolly Patton

[00:15:33] I'm gonna

[00:15:34] Dolly Patton. I'm gonna go sing some songs. Yeah, no what right?

[00:15:39] Uh boy, okay. So uh, there's also a cousin Brett has a cousin her name's jenna

[00:15:45] She doesn't matter the daughter matters the daughter matters a lot. She's cute as can be

[00:15:51] Danny and she is

[00:15:53] She is the star of the movie. Wow, Danny's great. Danny's Danny's

[00:15:59] kid of the year

[00:16:01] Kid of the year we got a kid of the year kid of the year guys. This is it. I'll call us now. Danny's kid of the year

[00:16:08] She's the one about that award kid of the year

[00:16:13] Kid of the year who's the kid? What's the kid doing? It's the kid of the year

[00:16:19] Sit down john

[00:16:20] Never gonna be your john never gonna be your year john you keep you keep campaigning john

[00:16:27] It's never gonna be your year bud

[00:16:31] Yeah, jenny is going all out natalie wood

[00:16:36] In miracle on 34. She she wants a dollhouse for christmas

[00:16:42] A candy dollhouse

[00:16:44] And they do ask the question. What is a candy dollhouse?

[00:16:48] It is what it sounds like it is a it is a dollhouse

[00:16:54] Yeah, do the math it is a dollhouse that you decorate with candy apparently that is a thing

[00:16:58] So the structure isn't candy. It's not like

[00:17:02] You know, it's not like the the drywall

[00:17:04] I'm foggy on the details. Okay. Well, and I'll explain why later, but I'm foggy as if

[00:17:10] There might be

[00:17:12] A candy dollhouse available for sale. I don't know

[00:17:15] But we do get a little bit more information later on. Okay. I mean, she's a kid of the year

[00:17:19] She deserves a candy doll

[00:17:22] sit down john

[00:17:24] Let's take a quick break. We'll get john out of here and we'll talk about this video some more here

[00:17:28] Don't let that

[00:17:40] That was rough. You never need to do that. You never like to get too strong. You never know

[00:17:45] I never thought I'd see brand throw a child

[00:17:48] And it's throw them that's exactly what happened. He let go through

[00:17:56] Anyway, that's danny danny is kid of the year danny is wonderful. There's also

[00:18:02] What is the uncle's name uncle uncle elie?

[00:18:06] All right, so uncle elie by the way

[00:18:11] By the way, Eli a great uncle as well. He's after uncle the year and

[00:18:15] Um, he basically runs

[00:18:18] the town

[00:18:20] And when it comes no mere Eli, he just does all the christmas stuff

[00:18:25] He and like no one does it like him

[00:18:27] He's he's very much like I know all the things about these events and it is what it is

[00:18:32] That's why it is especially tough when uncle elie

[00:18:36] Best we can hear through the wall falls down. We don't get to see the fall camera. We hear the fall

[00:18:44] But we don't see the fall, but he is uh his

[00:18:48] He sprains his wrist. Oh no, so he's gonna be out of commission for a while. What why?

[00:18:54] You just put a brace on

[00:18:57] I don't know

[00:18:58] There is a lot of stuff that uncle has has him doing through this movie that i'm like you don't need a wrist to do

[00:19:04] This stuff swinging a baseball pass

[00:19:07] You don't need a lot of stuff of of of wrist to do this, but whatever

[00:19:14] The christmas pinball is not gonna happen

[00:19:16] Not gonna happen. Yeah, he'd be out of christmas pinball. He would but luckily kaley is the event planner from new york city

[00:19:24] And so she says while i'm here the least i can do is help with this

[00:19:29] Event so it's in it. It's obviously can't be in his hand because his wrist is hurt. So it isn't good hands

[00:19:35] You let go well and she has a clipboard that she brought from from new york, so she's ready to go. She's ready to go

[00:19:43] They do some like christmasy things like the christmas festival they dress up as elves and do like sanas workshop

[00:19:50] That's how we learn about the house

[00:19:52] candy house and they uh also uh

[00:19:57] Take donations from the local businesses and go around and

[00:20:01] Uh kaley teaches bret how to be a functioning human. He can't

[00:20:06] Talk to people or can't smile doesn't know how to like ask for donations for charity

[00:20:12] um, they practice and and he gets a little more human

[00:20:17] But we've learned that they're generating donations not for kids

[00:20:23] Kids for the holidays or not for a non-proff

[00:20:27] Not no not for not for uh, you know

[00:20:30] socks

[00:20:31] It's for the football team the town football team the high school football team not for socks

[00:20:38] Not for socks who this team this high school football team at christmas time

[00:20:46] Could be their year

[00:20:49] Could be it it's not because you know

[00:20:53] Football's a winter sport. Yeah, so yeah, it could be

[00:20:58] Is there a year?

[00:20:59] No, it's the high school football team

[00:21:01] They have been done for a month. It could be it could be their year

[00:21:07] And so but not not all the parents have what they need

[00:21:11] In order to maybe give them that extra

[00:21:14] Yeah, and so we're gonna donate to the high school and even even I know football doesn't have around this time

[00:21:20] I don't know anything. Oh my god, and uh

[00:21:24] What's the money for socks?

[00:21:28] Brett give us in the socks this when when they were raising it for kids or socks

[00:21:36] Yeah, the socks I got my priorities

[00:21:40] Socks the cat for what year

[00:21:44] When

[00:21:45] Brett finds out that they're gonna be raising money for the football team

[00:21:49] He almost cries. He's like I love this team

[00:21:53] Knowing that they are maybe they maybe have a shot this year

[00:21:57] Means it means so much to me. Oh

[00:22:00] They can win a few games in december come january. Maybe they'll

[00:22:04] Maybe they'll make it just playing through blizzards, etc

[00:22:08] There you go. There you go. So, um, you know, they're they're very excited that the the flight people call

[00:22:16] They're like we still can't get you out. Um, but it's okay

[00:22:19] So because they're both still trying to get to new york, of course. Yes, of course the snow the blizzard

[00:22:24] It's just yeah, there's nothing we could do. Yeah up against it

[00:22:28] We see um bratt talking to his son on facetime and and this is how we learned he has a son

[00:22:33] All of a sudden he's just facetiming with the child and he's like go to bed

[00:22:36] And then he hangs hangs up and then kaylee walks in she's like, who is that and he's like, oh, that was my son

[00:22:42] And she's like give us a

[00:22:44] What the hell

[00:22:47] And she takes a call from nix and and he's like talking to her and they're getting in a fight and

[00:22:54] That is like listening like outside the door like very creepy like lifetime movie creepiness. Um

[00:23:00] Like he should not be listening to that call

[00:23:03] Yeah, it's really intense. She's she you can tell

[00:23:07] They're going through it. They're going through it and it's tough. She just wants some space

[00:23:11] He won't give her the space constantly calling left and right

[00:23:16] Come on man. Yeah

[00:23:18] Yeah, um, and then they so they're stuck again. They do like an auction next

[00:23:23] Can I tell you can I tell you about this auction? I just want

[00:23:28] Yeah, go for it bram. This town has a a christmas tree auction every year. Yeah, okay where people around the town

[00:23:36] decorate trees

[00:23:38] From the confounds of their own confines of their own house the confounds and then transport the trees to the community center

[00:23:46] After they decorate after they decorate them

[00:23:48] I don't know. That's dangerous. I like to go wrong

[00:23:51] We had to move a balsam hill tree from here the court room area and it was like a 10 step operation

[00:23:56] It was forget about it. Yeah, it was a mess

[00:23:58] The and they they decorate the tree and it's all nice and stuff

[00:24:01] But all i'm thinking about is how are you transporting this? They don't we're not primitive that information but

[00:24:07] But it happens. Well, they're raising money for the football

[00:24:10] Maybe the football maybe the football stars

[00:24:13] Come and help move or something like that. This is like their pre uh

[00:24:17] Pre-workout workout where they just carry all the trees. So but dan no one no one is coming to this auction

[00:24:24] So what do we do what we do even for the football team? Well, here's the thing. I guess no one knew about it

[00:24:30] I'm not really sure but no no one knew brat was there

[00:24:33] No one knew brat the

[00:24:35] This is when we find out

[00:24:37] That this guy matters like up until this point

[00:24:41] I

[00:24:42] Didn't know he mattered in the grand scheme of like like

[00:24:46] Players it'd be like colton from the bachelor, you know, I didn't know where he was at

[00:24:52] I still don't know who colt bob Blair. So there's I didn't know where I

[00:24:56] He's trav he's he's taylor swift's boyfriend status because when youth when this guy they throw it on

[00:25:02] Travis kelsey there it is when they throw it on a button

[00:25:05] For the people at home everyone knows course this boyfriend. Um the guy from the sheets

[00:25:11] Um

[00:25:13] There's going nuts

[00:25:16] When they post on social media that that uh old old greggy is gonna be there. Is that his name greg?

[00:25:22] Nick it's nick brett brett brett brett brett when they find out brett's gonna be there line

[00:25:27] Blocks down the road just huge

[00:25:30] Um and because he's gonna sign an autograph for everybody the football team shows up and the football team's like man

[00:25:36] Here's the reason why we're playing so good this year

[00:25:39] So it's it's big stuff. It's big stuff. It is it is and it was all it was all kaley's idea

[00:25:45] Um, does does elie say they raised 10 times more this year than they did last year

[00:25:51] 10 or three three or 10 somewhere in between three or 10 somewhere between it might be three

[00:25:56] I think it's three times. I think you're right 10 times. I don't know. Do they raise a dollar or what?

[00:26:01] Kayley kayley has a conference with her work and they argue about crème crème fraiche crème fraiche

[00:26:08] Okay, so uh, that was that's what she's doing for her event

[00:26:12] The call drops and she's upset. She talks to jenna

[00:26:16] Danny's mom who we know dandy's more important

[00:26:19] But dany is having a rough

[00:26:21] Co-parenting experience with her husband and they might be having a

[00:26:25] Big deal. No big deal the big d big d but they don't drop they don't drop the d word

[00:26:31] They don't drop they would never this is old school, man. They're like, uh, we can't talk about

[00:26:38] Sad they don't talk about burning about divorce. No

[00:26:42] Um, I think it's a good time for us to take the day the big b the big break the big break big b

[00:26:49] We'll be right back

[00:26:52] Here on dyna homer

[00:27:02] John taught the big during the big b he was gonna sneak in he's gonna sneak in. It's not the time to sneak in

[00:27:07] No, it is not

[00:27:08] Danny would never would never dany would never dany knows what's up dany knows what's up

[00:27:13] Kidding your

[00:27:15] Kidder there so uh up next slipping on ice happens

[00:27:18] You know, it's very very romantic the thing that's never happened is slipping on ice being romantic

[00:27:24] I've slipped down a full flight of stairs before and let me tell you

[00:27:29] Wait a minute patrick you've slipped you've slipped

[00:27:33] Down a full flight of stairs backwards

[00:27:38] So you slipped on the top stair and fell all the way down like tell me tell me first tell me all the way down

[00:27:43] Back no on my back on your feet up like this and you fell backwards and slid all the way down them

[00:27:50] Yeah, nobody like helped or caught you they just watched or nobody was around

[00:27:56] There were my hippie neighbors were there and they all they all laughed at me and I was very embarrassed and and I

[00:28:02] laughed at you. Oh

[00:28:04] I smashed my burrito. Um, I was probably uh five martinis and

[00:28:10] I'm not okay, and uh

[00:28:12] They said don't take an ambulance. It will cost $500 and I said should I take one and they were like

[00:28:19] Don't do it. I'm like, all right, and then I went home. I don't know what happened. I woke up throw up

[00:28:26] Everywhere in my house everywhere. Uh, I was pretty sure I was concussed pretty sure I was concussed

[00:28:32] Pretty sure

[00:28:35] Pretty sure I probably should have

[00:28:37] You just said you just said ambulance

[00:28:41] You might so take us don't take the ambulance

[00:28:44] Don't take the ambulance. It's $500. This guy had five to eight martinis

[00:28:50] 10 times a burrito to go

[00:28:53] He gets to the top step of his home and does a full marve from a home alone

[00:28:59] And right all the way back down this boys and his hippie neighbors say don't take an ambulance

[00:29:07] The next thing you know

[00:29:10] There's vomit everywhere

[00:29:12] Oh my gosh

[00:29:14] How have you not told this story before?

[00:29:17] It's not my shining moment. Laura marling kicked me out of her concert that night. She said she said hey

[00:29:23] I was doing I was doing this

[00:29:25] Yes, after every Laura marling Laura marling is very chill

[00:29:29] Who's Laura Marling?

[00:29:32] She's a british singer and and I went to see her at a very small venue

[00:29:36] I sat at the bar because we couldn't get close to the beach and I ended up just the bartender just was hooking us up

[00:29:43] And she said yeah that yes guys really something, huh? And I was like, uh-oh. She's caught on to my yes

[00:29:50] I need to leave immediately got a burrito and then that happened

[00:29:53] Did you get kicked out? You left I I left because she called me out and not so nice

[00:30:01] It wasn't a nice how often were you saying yes?

[00:30:04] Like how many words after every song yes

[00:30:09] And she's like singing. She's like like if you hear this this person's music. It is not a cheering thing

[00:30:15] It is very serious. She's very

[00:30:18] In her feelings

[00:30:20] And she's not she's not a tell you know what i'm saying

[00:30:24] Yeah, all right, so where'd you get the burrito from?

[00:30:27] Burrito house burrito house and you get back and you don't remember anything aside from you smush your burrito

[00:30:35] Well, yeah, yeah, man. Don't call the ambulance. This is just the best story

[00:30:41] And then next thing you know you wake up to vomit house. It's unbelievable

[00:30:44] Yeah, and I survived by my roommate. She didn't she was not there that night

[00:30:49] So so it was all on me to take care of myself and I did a terrible job

[00:30:52] man

[00:30:54] What a time to be a burrito please how long ago was this?

[00:30:58] Oh gosh, this was like uh, you know maybe in my early 30s

[00:31:02] So like a decade ago last year

[00:31:10] So they're slipping and sliding on the ice

[00:31:12] Can I just really quickly

[00:31:14] They're slipping around and he and and he's like

[00:31:19] Hey, I gotta show you show you something. So what they do is they just

[00:31:25] Plowed right through that ice. They say let's go faster

[00:31:29] Backwards and no problem that I don't that's not really how ice works, right? Like the faster you go

[00:31:35] You won't slip like if you just go faster

[00:31:38] No, that's usually a recipe for disaster. Is there anything cooler than maybe need to call an ambulance

[00:31:43] Is there anything cooler than a mighty ducks one?

[00:31:46] When uh, the limo pulls up to the ice and amelia was like drive out on the ice and the driver's like

[00:31:52] I don't know about that. He's like I grew up on the ice

[00:31:54] I know when it's safe to drive on it

[00:31:57] Wow

[00:31:58] Wow, I mean there is there are things cool. It's pretty cool

[00:32:02] Yes, get out of here

[00:32:04] after that after the ice, uh, we learned that, um

[00:32:09] This man has seven brothers and sisters. He just drops that casually and uh

[00:32:15] Hard for me to concentrate on anything happening right now

[00:32:18] No, there's so many details that got dropped in this movie that just were like what? Um, so

[00:32:24] They decorate a barn

[00:32:26] That's where the festival is going to be

[00:32:28] Uh, but then something happens with the barn and like loses power or something

[00:32:32] And so they have to move it to the town square and kaylee brings her event experience

[00:32:37] um

[00:32:38] And as everything's getting squared away, uh, she gets a call from nick again

[00:32:43] And she's like, you know, we need to end things right. She's like over it

[00:32:49] over it

[00:32:50] um, the town squares thing goes really well everyone loves that they get all the generators and get get it going. Um,

[00:32:57] and

[00:32:59] Brett keeps like staring at kaylee and finally he asks her to dance they dance in the town square

[00:33:05] Kaylee's very uncomfortable

[00:33:07] um

[00:33:08] And he's like he's like, hey, I'm gonna go out on a date with this girl named Jill

[00:33:13] And they're like wait, where did that come from?

[00:33:16] And she's like, well, I broke up with nick. Um

[00:33:21] And I think you dating someone else is for the best because you know, I don't live here. Um

[00:33:26] That's the freaking worst right Brett's there. Yeah. Yeah, Brett wasn't likable in this movie, right?

[00:33:33] Never never doesn't sound like

[00:33:37] But danny

[00:33:39] Is back. Danny's the best Danny kid of the year kid of the year. She's back

[00:33:46] And better than ever because she wakes everybody up

[00:33:50] And is like, hey my christmas present came early

[00:33:54] I honestly for life me. I don't know why they did this but for some reason

[00:33:59] They they decided that Eli and the gang was going to move everything out of the barn to get everything ready

[00:34:06] And they forgot to put the candy house back in the barn. So she just stumbled upon it

[00:34:12] On her on her daily stroll and she's like santa came early left him at candy house on the day early

[00:34:17] This is amazing. How old is danny? Danny is cute. And that's all you need to know. Danny's dany's cute of the year

[00:34:23] It doesn't matter. She can do no wrong

[00:34:26] Um, probably 10 10

[00:34:28] Okay, I I don't really know why it's pretty old for santa in

[00:34:33] Candy house, but no, no, no, no, no

[00:34:35] Don't talk about dany this one. You're never too old. Don't talk about dany that way cute of the year

[00:34:40] Um

[00:34:42] Yeah, so that happens also also at this time, uh, like all the christmas wishes are coming true because

[00:34:49] Uh bret's mother who all of a sudden exists and uh son fly in from new york

[00:34:56] Yeah, bret's mom little debbie is there

[00:35:00] bret's little debbie and um bret's son

[00:35:05] But like big they they couldn't get flights out

[00:35:08] But new york is flying to wherever the hell we are. You know what i'm saying?

[00:35:12] Yeah, sure. No, they can obviously fly into town. They can't fly out of town. Yeah, of course

[00:35:17] Not out in not out situation

[00:35:19] And the airline's still calling and like we can't book a flight back to new york and kaley's like, I don't know what i'm gonna do

[00:35:26] Um, oh they say they can book a flight. Yes

[00:35:28] Because she does get a call in the middle of christmas charades no less

[00:35:32] Right

[00:35:33] And she's like, I don't know if I should go or stay and she asked bret what to do and he says do what's right for her

[00:35:39] That's the freaking worst man. Like just grow a pair, right?

[00:35:43] Yeah, yeah

[00:35:45] Yeah, so she decides to leave and before she goes bret gives her a snow globe

[00:35:51] And she's like, thank you for the snow globe. What is this for?

[00:35:55] Do you have anything else to say and he says, uh

[00:36:00] Uh, no you you're good. Bye

[00:36:03] He he does. He's just like see you later. He's the worst

[00:36:07] Uh, so she leaves she goes to the train station and then bret finally has a change of heart

[00:36:12] He's like, oh we got to go get her back

[00:36:15] And they get to the train station all the families there and danny

[00:36:19] Our girl danny. Oh, he says

[00:36:22] Y'all better kiss now. You need to kiss right now

[00:36:27] And they kiss and whatever danny wants danny gets and that's the end of the movie

[00:36:32] Can I just really quickly just add a add a couple of things there?

[00:36:36] Oh, okay. Did I skip something?

[00:36:40] I just I just

[00:36:42] I really hate bret and I I want it to be as painfully clear bret realize he done goofed

[00:36:49] D does the bare minimum

[00:36:53] Here bear like go like personally like

[00:36:56] Attack I just I like rooting for characters. There's nothing root for with this guy. Okay

[00:37:03] Oh

[00:37:04] Brett does the bare minimum and goes to the town square to call her

[00:37:09] She had already decided not to leave and she drives up

[00:37:13] And she's like answers the phone and then just stare at each other for a few minutes

[00:37:17] And she's like i'm staying and he's like, yay. That's good news and they kiss

[00:37:22] Brett's the worst bret didn't even run to the train station and do jack squat

[00:37:27] Oh, man. I made that up. I made it up to be better a better story

[00:37:30] It would have been better

[00:37:31] He they go to the town square because they see a new christmas tree. Oh my gosh

[00:37:36] Oh boy

[00:37:37] I wonder how we're all rating this movie

[00:37:40] Brett's the worst danny

[00:37:42] kid leader

[00:37:44] So i'm torn. I'm talking. What do we do here? Patrick?

[00:37:47] What do you do? What do you do?

[00:37:48] All right, so well, I guess we'll start with dan because he he didn't see the movie and he only has what we have to tell him

[00:37:54] About to go off of so what are you thinking? I

[00:37:58] This sounds like a disaster. I'm definitely pouring up patrick's story

[00:38:03] Of slipping down the stairs

[00:38:05] But I gotta thank you. I gotta put a cork in this movie

[00:38:08] Unfortunately, I think that it sounds like it doesn't make any sense and i've laughed a lot today

[00:38:13] But I don't think that would have translated to 84 minutes of me watching it

[00:38:17] So put a cork right on in it and I get the feeling it's going to be a clean sweep

[00:38:21] It's a cork for me

[00:38:23] I didn't like

[00:38:25] actively

[00:38:27] Disliked the movie

[00:38:28] I just what did you feel about brett actively hated brett?

[00:38:33] One of the most

[00:38:35] Unlikeable main characters i've seen in quite some time. It didn't like him wasn't rooting for him

[00:38:40] I thought I thought uh, she was delightful. I she's she's great. I liked her in the valentine movie and I like her here

[00:38:46] um

[00:38:47] Brett though a

[00:38:49] washed up

[00:38:51] Back turned sports agent

[00:38:55] Who's like pumped about his high school team?

[00:38:58] Maybe being I I didn't like any any part of him. I didn't like any part of them

[00:39:03] A kid of the year you're going places kiddo

[00:39:07] There you go

[00:39:08] Okay, so I like it

[00:39:10] You all might not remember this because you've recorded so many podcasts about uh

[00:39:15] Christmas movies and i'm only focused on lifetime. So so i'm the lifetime expert, right?

[00:39:20] Yes, this was a 2022 acquisition and we were warned by the canadiens

[00:39:27] Before because they have already seen it they the reviews titles were absolute cringe in audio torture

[00:39:35] We were warned and we did not heed their advice lifetime was like no absolute cringe

[00:39:41] I don't believe you with your one star review, but they were right. This is a total potec orc in it

[00:39:48] Absolutely terrible

[00:39:50] I would say the worst Christmas movie I've seen in a long while

[00:39:56] It it was

[00:39:58] It was like worse than up tv bad. It just made no sense

[00:40:01] Wow had no redeeming qualities except for danie and let's be honest. That's a bit

[00:40:07] Yes, yes. Yeah, we get it

[00:40:09] so

[00:40:11] Like come on

[00:40:14] Why did we acquire like the fact that lifetime spent money on this like really upset to be like they wasted so much money

[00:40:19] I would have rather seen a rerun worse Christmas movie. He's seen in a long time almost up tv Christmas movie bad

[00:40:27] That is impressive

[00:40:29] In it in its badness. Oh my goodness next week's got to be better, right? What are we doing next week next week?

[00:40:34] It's better. We are watching

[00:40:36] Christmas at the chalet

[00:40:38] Terry Hatcher joint

[00:40:40] I think that'll be good that we we got a big week next week catching up on the hallmark movies, but we're still

[00:40:46] Fittin in a lifetime movie next Sunday going back to the sunday. So we're back on sunday with that Christmas at the chalet

[00:40:55] Yes, love that. I can't wait. I love terry hatcher and I love dean kane even more dean kane is in the movie too

[00:41:04] It's a no, but i'm just saying he's like my sexual awakening probably okay. All right good

[00:41:08] I'm glad that you told us. I'm so glad that you feel comfortable sharing

[00:41:12] I just I was like this a lois and clerk reunion. No, you just brought up dean kane because of terry hatcher

[00:41:18] Yes, yeah, I like I envision myself as terry hatcher

[00:41:23] Or angela or or claire danes in jordan catalano one of those two one of those two

[00:41:28] Clear crystal. Yeah, clear crystal

[00:41:32] um

[00:41:33] Sorry to john. We'll be better next time

[00:41:35] Uh and see you next sunday until then may be the first to wish you a merry christmas

[00:41:43] Deck the hallmarks of bravel jam podcast is produced by erin shea

[00:41:46] For more information on deck the hallmark, you can go to deck the hallmark dot com for more information on the deck

[00:41:51] The hallmark family you can go to brable jam plus dot com deck the hallmark is presented by philo tv for a free trial

[00:41:57] Of philo go to philo dot tv slash dth

[00:42:01] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio

[00:42:11] Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point

[00:42:15] Is at the end of the show. I mean you're listening to me. Hi

[00:42:19] But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day