Deck the Lifetime Uncorked - Tall, Dark, and Dangerous (LMN - 2024) ft. Patrick Serrano

[00:00:00] I'm Patrick Serrano and I am a Lifetime Movie expert.

[00:00:12] I'm Dan and I despise Lifetime Movies and this is the Technolite Mooghma GASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS made of aside from sugar, but it can't be like, like for human consumption. Yeah. Like they're disgusting. Do you like those Patrick? I like the messages. I like to give the message just to people and say be mine or yeah. So X. So X. Yeah, whatever. Whatever they say. I like when they're me and you like when they're mean. Yeah,

[00:01:44] like be mine or oh wow. I haven Yeah. Good for her. She's getting those. She's getting the big chuckles. Speaking of big chuckles. Let's talk about this. What it stands for. Big jokes. Let's talk about this movie, Patrick tall, dark and dangerous. A wonderful Valentine's pick because it involves the Valentine holiday

[00:03:01] and a Valentine's date and all that good stuff. People must go up to you all the time and say it. And Braemblefest when you come down this year for Braemblefest 24 you should have like you know eight by 12 glossies when it says

[00:04:20] no further questions on your picture. I think that would be Blanchard. No. Yeah, three part documentary got it. So they've all been ripped from the headline super sad stories Either rip from the headlines or reality. You know, we have Amy winter over there. Yeah, Amy. One TLC or we're really seeing the TLC effect over

[00:06:44] Life Time movies that air on Life Time go international. Life Time movies, but Life Time movie network

[00:06:47] does not go international.

[00:06:48] So this is strictly for the American movie.

[00:06:51] It sucks. That's exactly right.

[00:06:52] Yes. I'm sorry.

[00:06:54] You were saying, Todd Burke and dangerous.

[00:06:56] Yes, Todd Burke and dangerous.

[00:06:58] We have a all-star lineup, you guys.

[00:07:00] You do. So get ready for this.

[00:07:01] Ready. We have Jamie Bernadette.

[00:07:04] Whoa!

[00:07:05] Bernadette Bernadette.

[00:07:07] I know. 10 minutes. I want your full take on Eric Roberts performance. I've seen Eric Roberts in a dozen things. He is giving a performance. He's giving a performance that I never thought he would give or should give in a movie. And I would love your take on it. That's all I'm going to say. I will check it out. Eric Roberts never says no. He never says

[00:08:24] listen, I've spent along a lot of time he was on another show. He was on Stars on Mars. Oh, yeah.

[00:09:40] He cheated.

[00:09:42] He did it.

[00:09:43] His wife, his Vanderplump, ruled. It's called pump. I don't know. I'm not I don't watch this show. I have no pump. I want to go Okay, so Tom Scavenagh. What's his name? Sandoval and he is he is like one of the most hated people in America Wow, okay Wait, why do we hate him? Why is he hey? I thought he got cheated on

[00:11:01] No, he was the cheater and also he wears white

[00:12:02] that's really bad i'll read you some of the title all out

[00:12:04] horrible horrible movie lifetime

[00:12:07] why

[00:12:08] yeah and then this one

[00:12:10] is seasonal

[00:12:13] whole holy crap

[00:12:16] man tom sandoval seems like a real winner and i would like a raise their hands

[00:12:19] okay go ahead and i just want to make a correction

[00:12:23] the other tom from the inner pimp to be on tonight on the Lifetime movie network. If it's raining where you live, like it is here in LA, you know, just have a nice, like, you know, make some popcorn or just some food and watch them Tall, Dark, and Dangerous.

[00:13:44] It's on tonight.

[00:13:45] Oh, and just a reminder, light show going on behind them. It's just nonstop. So I think that's, he's inspired. He's doing his own little light. There's a lot going on. That's a weird promo. Watch this if it's raining and I forgot it's not on Lifetime. It's a weird promo. Why are white nails bad? Patrick?

[00:15:01] I don't know. Okay, fair enough.

[00:15:02] No, I mean, I say no more.

[00:15:03] That's as clear as crystal.

[00:15:05] That's it.

[00:15:06] Yeah, I don't know about the

[00:16:22] Susie to a bridge what what was it that you the the Blanchard Queen Rose?

[00:17:26] Tall dark and dangerous, you know, so we start off we meet a woman her name's Alice and she's our protagonist Okay, she is the sweepy banks, which I spoke of I believe they're called curtain banks

[00:17:31] And she's having a great day her boss Eric Roberts gives her a promotion and she has made partner at her love firm

[00:17:40] Erika Ellis that is one and the man that gave her a promotion. I'm congratulating us for seeing him

[00:18:41] Yes, I did. I did. Yeah. So she has a vibe about her.

[00:18:43] I don't trust her.

[00:18:45] And she's immediately like everything

[00:18:49] that is about to happen is 100% Janie's fault.

[00:18:53] Yes.

[00:18:54] She is a terrible best friend.

[00:18:55] Sounds a lot like Janie from Ride.

[00:18:57] Yeah.

[00:18:57] Janie from Ride is exactly right.

[00:18:59] So yeah, Alice is on the dating app,

[00:19:02] the very specific Be My Valentine dating app, What is it? Sandoval. Sandoval from the Vanderplumps. Imagine if it was a thumb to the... It's Tommy Vanderplump and a picture of him and she's like boom, shooting the air at Tom Vanderplump. And we think it a weird thing going on which we see someone behind,

[00:20:20] how would even describe what's happening with this guy?

[00:20:23] So it's to show straight up photo shot. It's just a photo shot. We are on a deep fake. This was very topical, you know, we just had the Taylor Swift scandal. We just had, you know, you know, SAG-AFTRA, like all this stuff. SAG-AFTRA, what? SAG-AFTRA went on strike for a long time.

[00:21:40] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.

[00:21:42] I did know about that.

[00:21:44] I don't know about the Taylor Swift scandal, but whatever.

[00:21:45] Something about like somebody created a bunch of deep fakes. and she's like, are you sure about it? Are you sure I don't feel like I'm getting a bad feeling about it? She was screaming villain, as all I'm saying. Totally. And Alice is like, Chaney, don't worry, I'm going on an date. I'm not going off to war. Yeah, yeah, bring the troops in it. That's perfect. Good job. That's right. Okay.

[00:23:00] It's just an interesting writing choice.

[00:23:02] The writing on this was interesting.

[00:23:05] Interestingly, different.

[00:23:06] Differently, really interesting. she goes to leave and he grabs her arm and she's like, get off of me, you know, like, get off of me. And then she runs out of there and he takes her wine glass, he sniffs it and then he drinks it, but like inappropriate, like, you know, like he's making out with her, but he's like drinking.

[00:24:20] Yeah, it was like a, it was like a,

[00:24:22] he took a big, like a shot, he downed it like a shot,

[00:24:25] but with Eric Roberts. And he has one Eric Roberts over told Eric Roberts that he is her boyfriend.

[00:25:41] And Eric Roberts like, you didn't tell me

[00:25:42] you had a boyfriend, this guy is crazy.

[00:25:44] Eric Roberts loves this guy. Standing whatsoever. All right, okay Don't call me don't text me Don't email me don't contact me at all. I Never want to see or hear from you ever again

[00:27:03] You don't mean that and if you try I'll call the police She was like, oh, you're talking about flags there at all. None. Exactly. So, also, this is some writing details where I just want to quibble. I actually like this writer most of the time, but he was just trying to shoehorn in some stuff about like stalker, like logistics and stuff.

[00:28:20] And I'm like, we don't need to get into all that.

[00:28:23] We don't need to get into all that.

[00:28:24] He did have the exact legal phrasing ready for what is needed for a restraining order. go to the police. She of course talks to detective Jackie Harry who who lays out she sure is man to pour it on pour it all the way up. I. Like a like, it is, you see that and you go, that's clearly not like the face is clearly not correct on like the skin tone different altogether.

[00:31:02] You can see like the where the one that but you're here

[00:32:22] you're tell dark and you get away from my address

[00:32:25] so puts like the you know Here it comes, here it comes, the big reveal. It's not. Right. But what it is time for is the big break. Oh, yeah, that's very similar. We'll be right back here on Deck the Light Time on Chords. Oh, of course. Oh, yeah, that's very similar. We'll be right back here on Deck the Light Time on Chords. Oh, of course. Oh, of course.

[00:33:40] Oh, of course.

[00:33:41] Oh, of course.

[00:33:42] Oh, of course.

[00:33:42] Oh, of course.

[00:33:43] Oh, of course.

[00:33:44] Oh, of course.

[00:33:45] Oh, of course.

[00:33:46] Oh, of course.

[00:33:47] Oh, of course.

[00:33:47] Oh, of course.

[00:33:48] Oh, of course. tell me that's right. If I would have believed that somebody's bad just because they tell me I would have never been Dan's friend. You give people chances you learn about them you try to understand who they are and then then you can make that. Finally found a friend I was willing to pass all that Coast Court stuff. That's exactly right. I hate the Coast Guard. Okay so she we learned that

[00:35:01] he is actually Chris's roommate the st himself and to me. So they find a loophole and I guess she gets information about him. I don't really know what information she gets from this therapist. So the therapist, so I will just say,

[00:36:22] despite what this therapist thinks, she did very much break the law.

[00:36:25] She says, I can't talk about my clients, my choking. I would say three seconds tops. Wow. Tops. Yeah. Pressure. Yep. It's just like right. What a grab of the neck. Grab. Boom. Done. File on TV session. I acted it out. Good stuff there. Perfectly.

[00:37:45] It's great. So Alice now knows she's in danger. She doesn't feel safe at her house. So she decides to go to her parents.

[00:38:44] she's like well he knows where i am now i'm gonna go to my parents dumb dumb like he knows where your parents are of course he's gonna go

[00:38:50] so dumb

[00:38:51] she's so dumb did you tell the cops though

[00:38:53] and i mean she tells the she told the cops that she's going to her parents

[00:38:57] but why go why leave

[00:39:00] why leave

[00:39:01] and yet

[00:39:02] jackie says

[00:39:04] if you go there that's outside of a jurisdiction Help me or something or like save me something something like that. Right. And the dad likes to use the note. He like puts his drink down and goes and grabs a baseball. What I love about this is she could not have been less sly with this napkin. And Chris somehow does not see it.

[00:40:20] Does not see the dad.

[00:40:22] Does not see him.

[00:40:23] Uh, look at the nap and they go.

[00:40:26] Oh, this is helping me.

[00:40:27] I probably need to. I'll call it coffee. I don't know why. Yeah, she's like, why are you got that bat around? We're not about to grill. Let's talk about the barbecue ribs. So, Alice doesn't feel safe at that house so she decides to go to Jamie's house, her best friend, Jane.

[00:41:40] And she gets to the house.

[00:41:42] Which, she's like, again,

[00:41:44] why leave the place that he has now left?

[00:41:47] She did the same mistake again. walked on by. And yeah, there's Chris there and he's like, I am gonna kill your friend and why won't you date me? That whole thing, like he's like, just be my Valentine, which is great. I mean, this is all that it's for.

[00:43:00] He just wanted a date.

[00:43:01] So she's like, okay, bet.

[00:43:04] I'm in, let me just give my friend a hug.

[00:43:07] So she goes to get the end of the movie oh my gosh yeah yeah when he ran out of the room and I saw there was only one minute left I was like come again what man I know I didn't see you coming we were it we really got a whole story but I thought I thought when she went to

[00:44:20] when she says she was going to Janie's house I was like here we go I know what's

[00:44:24] about to happen Janie is in on it's this sounds like a fun time. It sounds like you got Jack A as a detective. That almost alone is a port up. Underutilized, though. You got Eric Roberts, you got a killer that gets away with it,

[00:45:42] which is so unusual in these movies.

[00:45:45] And the Tom Sandoval of it all, which you love.

[00:45:48] I love him.

[00:45:49] You love him. I'm moving on to the next place. It just for this guy who is so obsessed with this one woman, he gave up like he just gave up. He's like, I wasn't moving on. Like the one year later, I think works a little bit better if he goes, if he does like a little bit of time and then we get an update and he's back at it again or something like that. The fact that but um yeah i will pour it up i think it's getting unjustly hated on because of tom sandoval um so i got to has to stay below the poverty line or we lose money. That's right. Exactly. Which is something that Tom does not stand for.

[00:49:41] Tom's actually a really, really, really cool guy.

[00:49:44] But they need to pay the hallmark Dot com for information on the deck the hallmark family you can go to bramble jam plus