DTH Classic: Christmas At Pemberley Manor (Hallmark Channel - 2018)

[00:00:02] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast Hi, I'm Bran and I love Hallmark Christmas movies Hey, I'm Panda and I like Hallmark Christmas movies I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast

[00:00:37] We did it boys, we did it, it's a big big big, this is the day that we've been training for since July A quick four months ago, we did two preview episodes that turned into 14 Guys, it all started with a dream I believe last April I was driving down the road and I said I just want to watch Hallmark Christmas movies with my friends That's right And I said I'll trick them Now we've yet to watch one together That's true But we do talk about them But in a sense we do The next thing you know there was a group text thread and then here we are

[00:01:06] Those text threads will one day be in a museum somewhere That's right, a podcast museum Which I can't wait when that opens It's going to be great There's going to be cereal Oh There's going to be And printed out text threads Yeah That's what I'm most excited about It's going to be great It's going to be fans When podcasts are always Serial Yeah It's going to be Like when, what was the guy's name? Adnan Yeah, Adnan When Adnan finally gets out of prison That's right If he does It's the best buy call That's the thing Hey, we're cheering for you Adnan

[00:01:35] I don't know I don't know if I am I'm still on the fence there We might not be But anyways Merry Christmas everybody Let's get merry and right Merry Christmas from cereal It is our first Real episode Real episode We are reviewing a movie that came out yesterday Wow This is amazing This feels great We have, let me, can I set the scene? Please do We have Hallmark Channel on right now behind us So that we can kind of look over and just get a little merry cherry Merry Merry cherry Okay

[00:02:06] And we've got We've got some homemade hot chocolate We have that All three of us have the mugs And I will say that this hot cocoa is delightful Yeah, it's exceptional My sweet wife Yeah And with marshmallows on top She said I'm going to bed I said no you're not You're not going to edit that out are you? No Okay I love you Today's a really big day We're talking about Christmas at Pemberley Manor But before we do a couple of things Guys, we did it We had something called 100 by Halloween We crushed it

[00:02:35] And we crushed it Yeah We are not even to Halloween We've got three days before Halloween Three days till And we've got 110 12 112 reviews Wow They're just coming in Just coming in as we speak Oh, we've got an update from Johnny iTunes It's 1210 Thanks Johnny See you next time Yeah Which is why we're starting our new promotion Thousand by Thanksgiving Yes No But can I say this? No When we threw this out there I think we had 70 reviews

[00:03:04] And within like three days It went up to 90 Yeah When we threw out the idea So I don't know Maybe we should say thousand by Thanksgiving Well Because these crazy people will probably do it I love it But before we do that The best two reviews That's right By Halloween get a free shirt That's exactly right So you've still got a few more days By our next episode We will have our two winners in hand We'll read those reviews live on the air Oh boy For you to sink your teeth into Now this weekend Is a nice weekend to kind of get into It's just one movie One job

[00:03:34] That's right And we can kind of get there I don't know if I'm going to make it through We'll get to that in a second But this first one I'm glad we're off and running And can I say this? This is just a plug for the new Countdown to Christmas app I downloaded it You can keep a checklist of all the movies And so I think you guys should do that It's really rewarding when you hit those It is I watched the movie last night I went into the app And I said I've watched it And it turned green And it was like you did it And I was like thank you I told my wife

[00:04:02] I'm going to end up having to download that dumb app Because I'm going to forget to record these movies If I don't Well But as of now I've not downloaded it Thank you Hallmarks Um I guess I think that's I think that's everything Are we going to dive into our first movie? I think we are going to dive into it This is history Here we go History This is the audio that will be playing on loop At the Podcast Museum At the Podcast Museum Podcast Hall of Fame If you're listening right now At the Podcast Museum Like in 2050 Hey Hey Johnny iTunes says hello Hey

[00:04:33] Christmas at Pemberley Manor Good no No editing needed there Christmas at Pemberley Manor Uh Originally aired on October 27th 2018 And I want a little something Like this Our movie begins with a party planner Elizabeth Hard at We're trying to appease Her over the top Mean boss Uh We find out Two minutes in That Elizabeth still writes letters to Santa And if you think that's an unimportant plot point You're going to be in for a big surprise Uh

[00:05:01] She's heading to her first big Christmas festival That she's kind of in charge of Uh Thanks to a childhood friend named George Who asked specifically for her George is almost certainly too young to be a mayor But he's already been a lawyer So yellow Uh George and Elizabeth went on one date But she uh Just wanted to be friends So maybe this week will be uh His chance at redemption We then meet William Darcy Uh A big business boy Who's all business and hates Christmas

[00:05:31] Uh He's in town because he's selling a manor that is on an uncle owned And he sends his new assistant Travis to get coffee Uh And Travis taking life way too seriously Cuts in front of Elizabeth to get it And she's like nah nah And she goes and gives William a talking to Like don't be mean to Travis Uh And and and that's that's kind of like well okay Well that's that's fun But guess what Not the last of them Uh Thanks to a water main break into town square

[00:06:00] They need to move the festival So they go to Pemberley Manor to ask if they can use it And that's when Elizabeth realizes that the guy that she gave a talking to Is the guy that she needs permission from William After some convincing he agrees to let them use the space And Elizabeth and William begin to hang out putting up Christmas trees And making Christmas cookies Literally any Christmas thing you can think of they do it Uh A photographer takes a picture of them and publish it Which is bad on a couple of fronts

[00:06:27] One he doesn't like to be public with his charitable work And two um the article didn't give Elizabeth's boss credit And she gets super angry about that So she comes down to the town and basically takes over the project And it's at that point that George opens up to William and says Hey I still like her and I think I'm going to ask her out And William says go for it Like a moron Uh Elizabeth's boss sends her home and says I got this

[00:06:55] Uh and William signs the sale of the house The new owner of the house shuts down the festival And Elizabeth is like over my dead Christmas loving body So she hatches up a plan She figures out that Pemberley Manor is still technically William's Until his board signs off on the sale And so they go and they get the property ready for the big Christmas Eve festival extravaganza William thanks to some shenanigans by his assistant Decides to head back to Pemberley to tell Elizabeth how he feels But uh oh

[00:07:23] A solid ten feet of snow dumps on top of the car all at once Uh when all of a sudden Um the dude this guy comes out of the woods He's the dude that's been playing Santa at the festival He walks out of the woods and he's like yo I'm actually really Santa Claus I'm gonna fly you to the festival And so they just show up Um I I'm not kidding you that happened Um They show up Uh Elizabeth and William kiss And ho ho ho Merry Christmas

[00:07:51] That was Christmas at Pemberley Manor Yes it was Every bit of it Guys Wow Dan Yeah Bran How are you feeling bud You're one in Like I'm already I'm just in deep I'm in really deep Panda How you feeling I'm feeling good It was I'm feeling good Okay

[00:08:21] I wanna say this before we dive into our four segments I wanna say this This was a really great kickoff It really said Christmas is here I thought we may ease It is October after all Yeah I thought we may ease into this bad mood No no no no We had snow and Santa and festivals Like a legit Santa It was a real Santa Claus He was really Santa That is it Unbelievable For those of you that are joining us for the very first time Hi Hey Welcome aboard It's great to be listened to by you We have four segments here on this show

[00:08:51] Um and we're gonna go through these segments And we hope that you will join us In going on Come along Come on The very first segment is Hot Take Hot Take It's very simple We simply share how we felt about the movie Our Hot Takes Yeah Uh so let's start with you Panda Sure How'd you feel about this movie Hey Hot Take Bran I liked it Yeah It was a strong outing It was a great way to get the Christmas juices flowing Everybody I loved it I thought it was really good overall Yes Really solid Um I'll go

[00:09:21] I loved this movie I thought it was really fun I thought it was very Christmassy Everything that I was wanting out of the Fall Harvest movies As far as seasonal fun I got in this very first Countdown to Christmas Let me ask you a question Yeah Do you think we like this movie more Bran Because we are just coming off of the Fall films Yeah Because those were not great Also you've not been inundated with snow in Christmas movies And so you were just This is a This movie packs a Christmas wallop Yes I will say It's a haymaker

[00:09:50] It was so over the top Christmassy That I think it covered up a multitude of sins Like there's a lot Like fake snow on the ground Yeah yeah yeah yeah and we'll get to it Yeah But the amount of Christmas cheer in this movie makes up for all of the things that are really bad about this movie And there's a lot of things There's There's something to pick in So I'm a big fan but I also know Like I I was fully aware while I was watching it This is dumb This is Well yeah This is silly

[00:10:19] But I couldn't help myself I was very excited Caught up in the moment I'm pretty confident that Dan's gonna like this one I think so You feel like that first one out of the gate I'm gonna like it and then it becomes a different podcast I feel like if you liked this one we would just stop We would just shut down What's the point of continuing Everybody would be like okay Hey there's a scene in this movie where I love it when he does this There's a scene in this movie where Elizabeth and Darcy have worked together to bring the festival to life

[00:10:49] And there are lights everywhere and children running around and playing and they flip an abnormally large switch and they light a Christmas tree and everyone claps And I was like wow this movie really flew by And then I looked and we were not even halfway done We were not even halfway done with this movie that seemed to go on at a level that I cannot possibly keep up with This movie got started fast Yes it did It got started really

[00:11:17] I didn't know what they were gonna do for the last hour aside from walking around and holding bags And I will say this At one point caretaker Chris turns out to be Santa Claus says the things that you love are never far away I patently disagree because I loved this movie being over and it was still a long way from happening And so for me the movie was really bad and halfway through I looked at my wife and I said I'm not gonna be able to do it I'm not gonna be able to keep I'm not gonna be able to watch 36 more of these

[00:11:44] And so I really was fairly depressed on a Saturday night It was bad on top of bad and I just there was no end in sight And if the movies last this long the whole time I'm gonna go insane by the time it's done with Cool man Hot take Right on We asked last night after the movie aired for you guys to call in And you can do that after any of these movies You simply call 864-406-9733 Leave a voicemail You don't have to talk to anyone Frankly we don't want to talk to you

[00:12:15] Well that's not exactly fair I'm just saying I was probably asleep Yeah, that's fair It shuts off, posts a thing And then I go If you were to call me in the middle of the night, I'd answer I'd say hey Some people are a little bit wary of calling in I get that completely It is a random number We really just want to hear the hot takes Yeah I promise you that Look, I do feel like Kathy Ortego from the Facebook needs a shout out She sent a picture of where she was watching the movie from And the picture of her living room with the TV in the center

[00:12:45] Looked like A Hallmark Yes, as Christmassy as it could possibly be So God bless you Kathy There were a lot of written hot takes that we really do appreciate Oh my goodness And there were great calls, a ton of them We only time for one, right? That's exactly right But there was a ton of really good ones And so I'm gonna kick it to this one And then we'll talk about it for just a second But here it comes Hey, this is John from Trenton, New Jersey I thought Christ at Pemberley Manor was okay

[00:13:12] I had a lot of the things that I think are super cheesy And that I love about Hallmark Christmas movies But also like a lot of the silly stuff that makes them really easy to make fun of Like they seem to hit on all the little holiday moments That kind of give people like the Christmas feels You know, there was cookie decorating and tree trimming And horse-drawn carriage rides And a small town festival And everyone was caroling But then there was also like green grass covered in snow And people dressed for a snowstorm in light coats

[00:13:40] Without hats or gloves or scarves That actually touched their necks But you know, it was okay Because the snow was digital And I also didn't really understand Why there were so many parallels to Pride and Prejudice Except ones that actually mattered Like it didn't seem to follow any of the book's plot Or characterizations or themes But they all had the same names Including the estate of Pemberley Manor It was just really weird

[00:14:09] So I think they kind of went like over the top Christmas Eve For the first movie of the year And kind of threw everything at it But it only ended up like meh for me Although Meredith from the Lindsay Lohan parent trap Needs to be in a lot more Hallmark movies Like a lot Well there you go Wow And I will say this Let's just go ahead and address this Since John brought it up It is very weird that this movie Has so many parallels to Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen Without even for a second Trying to be anything like the book at all

[00:14:38] And I don't understand that And here's the other thing I don't understand There's actually a Pride and Prejudice There's a Mistletoe movie coming out Which from what I understand Will be more of a thing But we read the synopsis and it had nothing to do with Maybe I'm in a wrong Does Hallmark actually read the Jane Austen novels? But here's the thing is If this movie was called Pride and Prejudice and Mistletoe It would actually go up a little bit in my book Because at least you just matched it At least we have Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet And George

[00:15:07] And we have a name that matches it I mean like this is borderline copyright infringement at this point Right? Like why? I don't know what the names added Nothing This is a network that doesn't use England Like refuses when they do these princess movies Where everyone speaks British accents They make fake country names Like Winsure and Sansa Nova But when it comes to this A modern day Christmas tale

[00:15:36] You could literally have named any of those things Anything it wouldn't have mattered And you went with Bennett, Darcy, George, Pemberley Manor I don't understand it for the life of me It was It left me so inquisitive at the end of the movie Not only do I not get it I also just don't care Yeah well Be honest If no one had brought it up You would not have known that it was a parallel Absolutely not You probably Would you have known? About? Like if

[00:16:05] Would you have known that it was a lot of Jane Austen stuff Yeah Okay Yeah It just is one of those things where I just kept going I mean look Mrs. Monteith was my British lit teacher in high school Hi, Miss Monteith Hey, hey girl If you're listening And she really loved Pride and Prejudice She loved the Colin Firth movie She loved the whole bit Sure, yeah And I did not read the book I'm sorry, Miss Monteith But I remember having to learn about it in her class And so that in and of itself Like I remembered that when I was watching this movie And it was to my detriment Because I just kept going What's the point?

[00:16:35] Yeah, and that was my issue Why are we doing this right now? It just That was ridiculous to me It's time for all the feels When we talk about the things that gave us those Christmas feels There's a lot to choose from here Because it was such a like Just a throw up of Christmas And so I'm gonna give it to my good friend Dan So at some point we just need to have a podcast Where we talk about our favorite Christmas things Like favorite Christmas movies and songs and all that Because I think it'd be interesting for us to just get it all out there so people know

[00:17:03] These are a few of my favorite things So my favorite We're also putting out an album That's right You can find it on the Etsy That's right My, I have three or four favorite Christmas carols But my favorite Christmas carol is Oh Holy Night It's my favorite one Great And when it is sung well There's nothing like it Crushes it And when it is sung terribly It is one of the worst things in the world There is a very close all the feels moment for me

[00:17:32] When Elizabeth Bennett sings this song Because she's got a good voice At least whoever's singing in the studio does It's her It is her Okay And she's nailing it But the problem is It's like There's too much that is going on in my head To keep it from being a full all the feels moment It really should have been But this is the finale And it's not even the last night of the festival Why is the finale one verse in a chorus Of a cappella Oh Holy Night Like just a few things about it

[00:18:01] Just undercut it from being a moment That would have been for me And all the feels moment So close but no cigar But she goes hard on the hardest Christmas song Can we agree that's the hardest Christmas song to sing Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You go on those upper range octons You can't do it Josh Groban had a beard And was in the movie He could have sung it himself Like he does the best version He played Mr. Darcy, right? Close No, he didn't Okay, I'm sorry about that I thought it was him Josh next time Maybe next time I disagree, I think Christmas Shoes Is the hardest Christmas song to sing Well that's because

[00:18:30] It's hard to get through it with a straight face Okay, so for me And can I just point out again Dan doesn't actually do a real all the feels No, he does not do all the feels He still finds a way to just be a doofus about it Yeah, absolutely You know what would have been in all the feels If this movie was better It's my favorite Christmas carol And she's singing it well And it still was not good I wanted so badly for it to be in all the feels I did I wanted it Go ahead Couldn't have it I'm sorry No, it's all good Dan

[00:18:58] So here's where I'm at with this There were, for me There was nothing that really evoked Incredibly strong feelings But if I had to pin one moment It's actually the background of Darcy's aunt and uncle And just his relationship to this house And his love for the manor But at the same time Just some of his hangups that he has And just the pressure of his father being all business Like I really was invested in that storyline

[00:19:27] And when he finally resolves that No, we're not going to get rid of this Like I did feel that I felt that Because there was that hint of nostalgia This movie really did have everything Now that I'm talking about It had all the feels All the And so But that for me was something that played really well And I thought it was a really great moment Yeah In the film overall And I thought that was actually a pretty good subplot And what's going on And I will say You can never tell how Dan Panda actually feels about the movie During the hot take segment But once he gets going in the all the feels That's when his true colors come out

[00:19:56] So if you're If you don't know what he's saying In the hot take It's because in all the feels He's gonna set you straight Yeah, that's what I do And can I say this I actually do appreciate that they worked that That backstory in throughout the movie Yes Now lots of times you just get it one Like this is a quick snippet of my past Yeah But they actually throughout the movie They kept going back to it And they kept using it to kind of tear away the layers That is Darcy I will say this As absurd as the Santa plot line is Which we'll get to later Oh gosh

[00:20:26] It does at least make sense It's how caretaker Chris Who Darcy says he's never met Would know all of this stuff about his family Yeah Like they In a weird way they answer the tougher Like wait what's Yeah Because they just swing and miss on the big ones Right For me it's just the scene of him And Elizabeth decorating the Christmas tree Classic There's gonna be a lot of Christmas trees

[00:20:53] That's a good tree They're very fond And so seeing that Yeah that was a good scene And then seeing the Christmas tree all done It was my first Christmas tree that I've seen As I'm getting excited about Christmas And it made me want to go put up my own I'm actually gonna say something really bold Wow That scene with Elizabeth and Darcy When they're setting up the Christmas tree Is actually one of my favorite scenes Of a Christmas Hallmark movie Wow I've seen so far Wow Bold Bold That was beautifully said

[00:21:31] It's time for our third segment Which is wait what Wait what It's the time of the show Where we talk about some of those things That just didn't quite line up Didn't make sense Confuse us just a little bit And I'll start with my good friend Panda Can we start off with just the reality That that's not a manor Like that's not Wow It is not a manor It's not a manor Like if you watch an actual like Jane Austen film Those are You know like they made back in Jane Austen's day

[00:22:00] You almost spit cocoa everywhere Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice Like 1813 man They weren't even cameras Yeah but You know what I'm saying A Jane Austen film They would paint pictures And flip them all Like animation I don't know much about this Jane But I know she's not making any moves That's right Oh But she did Okay Jane Austen Yeah that's in the bonus features Of her last DVD She said look my movies are real manors only She just meant manors like you know

[00:22:29] Silverware placement and things like that She did not mean M-A-N-O-R manor I hate both of you guys But here's the thing is You just screwed up on the movie thing You're right about your point It's not a manor It's not a real manor It's maybe a big house It's a big house But even when I first saw it It's a pretty house Yes But when I first saw it When they first show it I was like so when are they going to show the manor That front lawn I was confused Because they drive at the very beginning They drive by slowly as they're going into town And they stop And I'm still not totally sure why they stopped It's not like they stopped But they wave to Chris And then they look at it

[00:22:59] And it's very Kind of a long scene And they drive on I was like that was weird But I'm assuming it's going to come out And then it ends up being the house I was like oh okay But also that front yard Isn't big enough to host Most Baptist church Christmas festivals Much less a town's Christmas Like this is the entire town of Lambden And you're telling me They're all going to be in the front yard I mean we didn't really get to see the backyard I assume that's Kind of where they take the carriage No they made a big deal about how nice it was back there They did And what's wrong with all these other places Like that's the best

[00:23:29] Like that's really the best They have the bait shack The bait and tackle shop The bait and tackle shop And then there's a farm And there's a farm Some of the cows are going to have to be moved Maybe that's the biggest house in Lambden What do you think you just call the biggest house In every town a manor Do you think that's the deal Like if it's just a If it's just a small town The biggest house Two story You know three bath Four bed I'm pretty close to having a manor on my street You are? Yeah You're doing good here You guys coming to the gray manor? The gray manor That sounds like a Jane Austen movie

[00:23:59] See what I did there? She usually wrote the movies first No no she did And the books came afterwards Before the Civil War You lost your mind It's one of the few times where I should say The movies are better than the books That's right Yep They just are Maybe you have time for one more? Oh I always have time for one more I'm Why are you in a hurry? I'm not Let's just revel in the crappiness that is this movie

[00:24:24] The concert scene for me is one of the most unbelievably stupid things I've ever seen in a whole art film Which I've just gotta say like when Chris comes up to her and he's like maybe this is your big night Yeah And like how I don't understand how this was relevant to anything Yeah They don't make a big deal about her singing really Well not to mention This is when the boss is in town She's kinda taken over She's very rigid She's taking She's putting tables where Hay was Big Boss Lady Jenkins Big Boss Lady Jenkins

[00:24:54] But when the person who was gonna sing which What happened? I don't know Everybody was out for some reason Like dudes who were supposed to read the story who was the local news celebrity Who was a new celebrity when dude was a When Darcy was a kid Yeah Which means how is his wife just now having a baby? What's going on here? It was the kid news Yeah What was I saying?

[00:25:23] Oh, but they need a singer and he's Alright Elizabeth you got it This is your moment right here She's really laid back about the singing Yeah that's right Yeah But then she again she goes hard on the hardest Christmas song Yeah she's like I'm gonna do Because it's the finale And I did use air quotes for our listeners out there Like on the not last night of the festival It's a finale that is a half a song sung acapella Alright I wanna be the I'll be this guy Do it Throughout the movie she's kind of singing

[00:25:52] More like talking Just kinda humming along And everyone's like you've got a great voice And she goes up there and I just I don't think she sounds good What? Yeah I know I'm sorry Wait a minute Wait a minute I thought she nailed it I disagree No I thought she was pitchy on the road She was pitchy? What's going on right now? She was pitchy There was parts when she was going Her range she was not singing her range First of all but second of all Hallmark Channel has never figured out

[00:26:21] How to use real music They haven't figured it out No I will say And by real music what I mean is People in the movies singing The arrangement was a mess There's no doubt about that And nobody should ever sing Oh Holy Night acapella Like we're This is all with no warm up You got warm up those chords She's okay Once again Josh Groban is watching She is okay at the beginning But when it gets a little bit higher And they move away They move away And there's some dialogue But you can still hear She's almost screaming It's awful Yeah yeah yeah I would agree with that

[00:26:50] It was rough I thought her voice was good So all I'm saying is Throughout the movie she's kind of talking She's like God breasty Mary Gentleman And someone walks in She was not doing that Boy you got out boy Breasty Mary Are we doing jazz hands? It was a spoke Nothing easy to smear She's like she's doing some spoken word Sir I wanna buy these shoes For my moment please See that's why it's the toughest one to sing Right there Christmas Eve And the thing is

[00:27:19] Is these shoes are just her size They're the only ones left Ba na na na Was that it? I'm sorry I mean that's all I really I could go on Those are two We could talk about the coffee shop being outside I don't understand that But continue on Yeah Who's next? I'll go Okay Are you taking Santa? We're gonna talk about Santa And I don't care if you bring it up You know what? Santa's gonna be its own thing We're just gonna Santa's gonna be Come back around to Santa Gotcha Yeah Santa doesn't count

[00:27:49] Santa's his own thing You do your two I'll do my two And then we'll talk about Santa So they're walking around this town Elizabeth and William are Shopping There is not a soul to be found Nope It is the week of Christmas Everybody should be out shopping I've got a theory Okay They have all the bags and the stuff Yeah all the bags Yeah all of them And they just keep At one point he puts the bags in the car And then they cut back to him And he has more bags in his hand Did you notice that scene? Yeah yeah

[00:28:18] And then my second way What is the water main So the water main breaks Yeah as it does And somehow causes the gazebo to go underground There's a sinkhole A sinkhole That city has larger problems Yeah it does I just And maybe it's my naivete showing About all things water Yeah But I just don't know what would have to happen You would have to ignore that water main break For a long

[00:28:47] Like an extended period of time So I don't know how long George has been mayor Yeah Maybe he wasn't briefed that Yeah Briefed on that He didn't know about the water main He didn't know about the water It was the last guy's problem And he chose not to fix it Yeah They briefed him on day one about it And he just said Yeah We'll handle it later Dude when you get sworn in as mayor of Lambden Yeah You go right into the room And they start telling you about all the things you didn't know about It's a different job It's a hard job A thankless job It is But here's the crazy thing First day

[00:29:16] Get that Christmas festival playing buddy Yeah that's right Don't worry about the gazebo going underground And everybody was like It's just one day what's the big deal No no Not when I'm mayor It's going to be a whole week event That's what I ran my And the finale's going to be on day three That's what I ran my Hear me out It's a midweek finale That's what I ran my campaign on Midweek finale George 2020 What is he doing? Dan what you got Oh my goodness So here's the thing Lambden's a small town right Yeah Can we all agree on that?

[00:29:45] All I want is the marshmallows at the bottom of my cup And I just can't get them I got plenty right here Plenty of mallows You want some of those? No I just They all sunk Yeah I drank the whole drink This is great stuff Yeah So Did you get them? They're cold Okay Just slowly but surely There they go Wow Thank goodness Is it worth it? Mmhmm So we can all agree that the city of Lambden is a small town Correct? Correct

[00:30:13] The level of snow is very inconsistent for a small town You can be in the middle of downtown and the streets are dry and there's a dusting And you go a couple of blocks over to the manor Three feet of snow Mmhmm Three feet of snow And then here's the thing Then the manor is cleared off It's a dusting And then all of a sudden Darcy's trying to get home And there is a ten foot pile of snow right in front of his car Well here's the thing Right before that Darcy's at the airport It's dry

[00:30:41] And what was the guy's name? Timmy What was his assistant name? Timmy Watson Timmy Watson Timmy Watson says hey we can't go because of the snow He's like it's clearing up It's Travis Uh oh it's not clearing up Yeah Because just a couple of minutes That's right There's literally just a thunder snow It is just Thunder In a small town How can we go from nothing dusting ten feet of snow And like it was laughable Like his car it was almost like he pulled into a

[00:31:08] They just kind of expected us to take their word for it Oh the weather's bad They come back from commercial He's evidently he's left But we don't know what's happening It looked like he pulled into a snow parking lot Like it looked just like mounds of snow It was Timmy's first day Oh it was really really bad So that's one I've got a bunch I'm trying to think of the best one to do I have to talk about when they first go to Pemberley Manor And they meet Chris the caretaker

[00:31:38] We'll talk about Santa in a second But Darcy gets really mad because he goes Chris why have you decorated for Christmas Why have you done this We're gonna sell this place Why have you decorated I'm really angry And then they pan out And you see no decorations And three ornaments in a random tree And the tree is not connected to the house It is there on the side of the house There's nothing on the house And in just a random like oak tree It's not even a Christmas tree There are three ball ornaments Just hanging there

[00:32:06] And it's like oh no we're supposed to have the thing decorated What are we gonna do Larry Well I don't know but I'm about to call action Like what in the world guys Hang them over there That's right Get them Give me all the ornaments you got Are there three of them Okay make them big The rest aren't coming until Samara Like I just I paused it I was like look at this Look what's going on here Bad news Maybe that's how Chris decorates up in the North Pole

[00:32:34] We all think it's super festive but maybe it's not Let's talk about Chris Did anyone see it coming Well I will say this That he's this is not a What is he maybe Santa Which happens a few times Yeah yeah yeah This is a he almost comes out right out and says He is Santa Claus He is Santa Claus He is Santa Claus The reason I didn't see it coming is because He's kind of an off-putting Santa I think he's what Dr. Phil imagined Santa would be Like he's got like a southern accent

[00:33:03] And he wants to confront everybody about their problems Yeah Like he's not like just benevolent all the time He's like hey let me tell you right here your problem is Your problem Like what are you talking about dude Just just mend the ground Just don't even worry about it I think the reason I was surprised that he actually was Santa was the names were all Jane Austin characters that had nothing to do with their character and then they named him Chris and I was like oh they'll have nothing to do with Santa Claus in keeping with the theme of the film Yeah yeah of course Oh Chris with a K Yep Of course

[00:33:33] Chris Kringle It blew my mind I just I was like who directed this Is this M. Night Shyamalan I did It blew my mind You know when I started to think something else was wrong and I'm just not going to use this as a what the hallmark That we only see two older males in this film Two Chris does anybody know the other one It's the guy driving the carriage Oh yeah yeah yeah Horse strong carriage and he also looks like Santa Claus He does like Also has a full white beard And so I'm thinking maybe in Landon

[00:34:02] Like there's a there's a law or an ordinance a city ordinance like if you live here and you're over 65 You've got to look like Santa You have to do your best Santa Claus impression I did find it like I guess the only thing that was like hinting towards it is when they were asking him to be Santa and they're like well we don't have the costume He says oh I might have some things lying around I thought it was kind of weird like But I surely didn't jump to oh he's Santa I will say it almost did draw a laugh for me

[00:34:30] They it was the closest thing to comedy in the film on purpose was when he was like oh you know anybody looks like Santa I don't know why you mean I look like Santa what are you talking about I don't look like Santa But what was it like I loved it was so on the nose it was very just like of course they're gonna do it It really did it really did blow my mind when it when he walked out of the woods. I was like what's that homie guy? This guy's weirder than I thought he stays in the Santa outfit all day

[00:34:58] Yeah, do you know because they do the big Santa thing and then they come back late at night and he they've not done anything for a while And he's still in the outfit and you're like wait a minute at that point the cat's out of the bag He's crazy or he is Kris Kringle. He is one of the other Those are the only two options What if this is a miracle on 34th street crossover? That'd be interesting It'd blow my mind. Yeah Chris Fitzfimberley made her too Jane Austen would have loved to direct that one

[00:35:24] It's time for what the homework is the time of the show where we uh maybe wonder what would have happened after the credits or maybe before the credits Some things that we'd like to know more about that we can dream about guys We can we can really put our our writers caps on Yeah, and come up with some ideas here. I'm gonna start with Panda guys One of my favorite parts of this entire film and maybe this is a cynical dark side of me was watching George get friend-zoned the entire movie

[00:35:49] Wow, dude, he was let's talk about can we or we like we're all is anybody in here team George? I'm team George. I'm team George. Yeah, I like team George your team George even though you liked him getting friends on the whole movie Oh, yeah, I mean It was enjoyable to watch It was enjoyable to watch I like him, but I love seeing him in misery Yeah, so neither one of you are team George No, no, I was making fun of him. Oh, I got you I'm in This whole movie. I'm like I don't see any downside

[00:36:18] No, George is the meta male Clark Kent like he just is like man I don't know I don't want to ask her out. I don't want to do anything Hey plan this I'm a mayor, but there's a sinkhole it's swollen the whole town Well, my thing is like if you don't want me to like him make him uglier Yeah, he's no he's a nice guy too. Yeah, he was a nice guy like the here's the thing they had they were they were two good two good boys There were two it was just actually the alternate title

[00:36:48] There's two good boys in this movie Two good boys the Jane Austen tail And it's like even even even bad boy is a good boy Like at heart you don't want anybody to know about it. Yeah, right. Yeah, he's like Yeah, he's grumpy, but he's got a smirk on it while he's being grumpy Speaking of which and I just thought of this it's not my notes that Is there an agreement between he and the newspaper that he can go out during the day and they won't snap any pictures?

[00:37:16] I was firmly team Darcy George net. No, I'm no point that no point was I team George Not at all. I wasn't actually sure he was kind of a doofus I just wanted there to be any sort of a thing there I wouldn't I'm like oh he's finally gonna do it and he never actually did He did not side it like that's because he's George like he just he was friendzone from the beginning from the very beginning I was really hoping he'd find love Yeah

[00:37:44] I just I just I can't say that no No, no, I I will I will say I'm hoping that there's a movie with George. I actually not George But the guy who played George I like him. I'd like to see him the acting job was actually solid No, I thought he was yeah, he was funny. He made me laugh I want to know what happens with George. Yeah, I hope he finds love so you mentioned this a little bit But I would like Um, the Darcy's aunt and uncle sound delightful. They sound like they've got cool. They sound like they've got Christmas down

[00:38:13] I would like a Darcy aunt and uncle uncle uncle and aunt Darcy's Christmas time flavor Yeah, no that sounds come out and come out in 2019. I'd really like that. Wow. Hmm You want me to give it a go? Give it So I did bring up the coffee stand earlier and I want to know I want to know who founded this coffee stand I want to know his backstory because basically in what appears to be a freezing cold town, but I'm not sure He has put a a stand up with no sort of shelter of any kind

[00:38:43] He's selling coffee for a dollar and the line always disappears So and I need to say that just so you understand what i'm saying the line doesn't disappear like it goes quickly like people disappear Right, like Travis jumps in line and there's other people there that aren't from the two groups Right, and then you see Elizabeth go to the car and in the background you just see the other three cast members standing there Like they're posing for a family photo no line at the coffee shop

[00:39:10] And then they go back to the coffee shop and there's people in line again and then all of a sudden he goes pay they're all gone They're all gone. So I need to know I want to know about the lamb and coffee shop. I want the back story I want everything. I can tell you the back story. Please do the coffee shop Uh is actually in the town square and this was just people are just falling through the ground Like the water main it's a sinkhole problem and it's a disaster and they gotta get a handle on it

[00:39:36] But is that why they're able to fit everyone at Pemberley mary because everyone's disappearing? Yeah How small is this town? It's it It's gonna be this gonna be packed. We got people from new york coming down That's right There's like five There's like a dozen people in the crowd max If I was from new york city and i'm like there's gonna be a freaking banger down there It's right I go down there. There's 20 people. I'm like what? Yeah, every old guy looks like sink to sink holes everywhere

[00:40:06] George is running the land and just straight into the ground What's that return of the universe that I just walked into? Oh my goodness It sounds like an apocalyptic Christmas It does a little bit The ghost of Pemberley Manor Oh It was a halloween flick Yeah, it's closer to halloween than christmas right now Speak for yourself No, that's that's just a fact Speak for yourself Got it Uh, do you have any more? I do have one more Yeah I wanna know some of the terms of this particular manor sale Like the deal between these two companies

[00:40:36] Because I've got like a series of questions Yeah First of all, we don't know who the other company is But apparently they're very concerned about the liability Of People walking on the grass Of people being like on the grass And hearing the nightmare before Christmas Or not the nightmare The night before Christmas This is halloween Yeah So But they're the reason they don't want the last night of the festival to take place Which is only Basically There's a there's just a story being read Right And people walking around

[00:41:05] Is there's a liability issue I don't know And can I tell you why The real Santa Claus is dead Yeah He's flying in with his reindeer Of course Yeah, yeah Well if they had known that Then they'd have a different story They had the insider And also What what kind of deal Is it that gets signed Yeah The papers are done Okay And then I can't have a deal This is how I understand it The board says We're selling Yeah He goes down A week early for some reason For some reason You can research all that at your own place

[00:41:35] To sign the papers He signs the papers It's gotta be ratified For those papers to go back to the board And where he came from And then he Yeah He's been gone He could have stayed where he was They don't have fax machines And then he convinces them If I was the board I'd be ticked But he convinces this board Clearly a bunch of dummies That even though the papers The ink is dry The papers have been signed There's still a vote He convinces them To all vote Against the thing That they asked for And the contracts have been signed

[00:42:05] Yes That he spent a week Not researching While he was in Pemberley Imagine being this other company That Just being like What? I mean And clearly they're a serious company They're worried about the liability Of four year olds Here in a Christmas tale Of some sort Wait no Not Pemberley Not the people who Oh not Darcy Worldwide No I'm confused No Yeah Pitbull Pitbull is actually the guy In charge Of Darcy Worldwide He's in the board He's Darcy and Mr. Worldwide Is that the name of the company Step in the room

[00:42:34] Yes it is But it just came to my mind Yes it is I would like to see that movie Oh It is If Pitbull is in Darcy and Pitbull Is there any way Sinbad could be in it? Like there's some comedic sidekick No? Yeah sure Okay I mean why not Yeah he's free He can't be booked Right? So the company that's buying it From Darcy and Mr. Worldwide That company is the one That cares about the liability Right Of the manor

[00:43:03] And also the ink is dry They've signed to buy it And all of a sudden They've been told They're not gonna get it Why would they be concerned About the liability though If they still actually Don't own the company Or the property That is why I need to know More information I need to know the company I'd like a Maybe a legal courtroom drama About the sale of Or the non sale Of Pemberley Manor Did you or did you not? Boom boom boom boom boom boom Darcy Worldwide Claims to have not sold Sold Pemberley Manor To no one who is present

[00:43:33] Oh my god Jameson and company He hates kids Who's gonna win? Guys I think that does it Wow Can you believe it? If it doesn't I don't know what does I don't know either Santa's mailbag's empty huh? I mean I could make something up But yeah Yeah it's empty You can email us At the homeworkpodcast.gmail.com And we will If you ask us a question there We will answer it That's true Maybe it's going to spam Maybe it's going to spam It's just we're not getting emails

[00:44:02] We've got so many movies coming up Oh yes we do Next weekend It's our first threefer A threefer Can I tell you about those three? Please do Can I grab them real quick? We've got three great movies There's going to be one That's on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries So if you don't have that channel yet Dan I got it I paid the $5 a month for it Great Next week On November 3rd We got Christmas Joy Which I'm just overjoyed for You nailed it On the Hallmark Channel

[00:44:31] And then on Sunday the 4th We've got Road to Christmas On the Hallmark Channel And Marrying Father Christmas On Hallmark Movies and Mystery And that movie my friends Is a big Big Big deal Why? It is the third part Of a three part series We had Finding Father Christmas We had Engaging Father Christmas Oh my goodness And this year fellas We get to finally Merry Father Christmas I gotta be honest Have you seen the other two? I have Are they great? I had

[00:45:01] Yeah well Are they gonna show up? Are they gonna show up? You've got a bunch of little draggy But look I guarantee you I will watch the third one And be caught up In five minutes from us You're gonna be okay But we do have a guest that day That loves those movies Ooh And she's gonna be able to help us With the whole thing Wow thank goodness Guys the response I know we say this all the time Has been unbelievable It's so cool to hear from everybody On Twitter and Instagram Thousand by Thanksgiving It's happening right now Leave us a rating or a review Come find us Talk to us Ask us questions We love talking with you guys

[00:45:31] Find us On the socials Speak for yourself You just gave out your gray manor last name This guy Good luck Come on Come find me You'll be taken aback by the manor Yeah I think they'll find the manor And they'll be like No no We don't get shot Guys I think we did it Hey I wanna start a side podcast Where we just review Jane Austen movies Bye guys we'll be back next week Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

[00:46:16] You're about to hear some ads That help keep the lights on here in the old studio Thanks for listening or don't listen It's really up to you at this point It's at the end of the show I mean you're listening to me hi But here they come I promise they're coming Yep here they are Happy day Bye Bye Golds