DTH Classic: Season 1 Christmas Kickoff (2018)

[00:00:02] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast Hi, I'm Bran and I love Hallmark Christmas movies Hey, I'm Dan and I like Hallmark Christmas movies I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast

[00:00:35] It's here! It's here! It's here! Countdown to Christmas! It is Friday. It is October the 26th. The Christmas movies are on. Can you believe it? I cannot. Not even a little bit. I literally cannot believe it. I gotta be honest, the Hallmark community, the people on the Twitter and the Instagram, they get very excited about this. Very excited. There's only one movie this weekend. There's only one new one. Yeah, new one. But that's okay.

[00:01:05] But these movies are on 24-7. There it is. Starting now. For the next couple of months. Wait, so there's no break? No break. Except for Hallmark Fam. Commercials. Okay, except for commercials. The TV show. And they have a TV show from 10 to 12 a.m. called Home and Family. What? It's where they cook and stuff. But it's all Christmas themed. Boy. That's so much about the network I just don't know. Hallmark Movies and Mysteries though, non-stop movies. No Home and Family. Really? Yeah. Wow. Boy. Guys, this is a big deal.

[00:01:34] We've embarked on this journey. And this is the official beginning even though we've done 14 movies. Yes, this is the official beginning. We have so much good stuff planned this season. We have a lot of fun planned today and we'll get to that in just a second. But this is a different kind of episode. It is a different kind of episode. We're not reviewing a movie. We're not reviewing a movie. Okay. So we've got to get a few things out of the way first. The first thing we've got to do. Oh boy. We've got to have Dan drink his very first pumpkin spice latte. I thought you were going to talk about 100 reviews for Halloween. No. But no, you're going to talk about this.

[00:02:04] Now Panda brought me a pumpkin spice latte. I feel like I need to get this on the vids just in case. Okay. Like for the people. Now what we are going to be looking for here in this review of this PSL is we're going to be looking for you to talk about the body. Okay. The robustness of it. The nuance. The nuance. Okay. What kind of flavor? Is it smoky? Is it oaky? You don't have to put words in my mouth. I mean let me. Just toss it. Well, I want to review it but I can't. I've already had one. So here you go, Dan. Okay. Hold on.

[00:02:35] I'm just giving it a smell, Brandon. Just call it out. Anyone who has ever tried a pumpkin spice latte knows that you've got to start with the sniff. There's hints of cinnamon. So for people that haven't been listening to the preview episodes, this is going to be a pumpkin spice latte. You've never had a pumpkin spice latte. Ever. People were shocked. We had a listener who donated some money just so that we could do this. That's right. That is true. Thank you. Thank you. And it does, it smells like there are hints of cinnamon. It does smell overly sweet for coffee, which is a little bit terrifying to me. Yes.

[00:03:05] Are you a coffee drinker in general? If it's cold outside, I like a warm cup of coffee. Okay. Aside from that, I'm not like a daily coffee guy. Black? Yeah, maybe a little bit of cream. Maybe a little bit of cream. Okay. So this is going to be sweet. This is going to be sweet. I did standard. It's a grande. Didn't make any change to the pumps or anything like that. This is standard. No change to the pumps. That's exactly right. Are you ready? I'm ready. Here we go. We're ready? He's diving in. He goes for the sip. Oh my gosh, that's bad. Gosh.

[00:03:34] Wait, time out, time out. Now when you say bad, could you express it in more robust language? I used to express it. It is like a pumpkin got bathed in milk until both went bad. What a weird way. You always have a way with it. And it soaked the milk up. And then what they did was it took a dive in like three-year-old cinnamon. Okay. And it rolled around and then took a little dirt bath on the way out into my mouth. Give it one more sip and see if it's better.

[00:04:04] Do I have to? You have to. People spent money on this. Oh, why do I taste like bad milk? Like that should not, that is no more. No, I'm done. I'm done. You take it. Let me try it to make sure that it's like, you're saying bad milk. Nah, that's a pumpkin spice. That's a PSL, huh? Yeah. No, that's spot on. That's as good as you're going to get for a PSL. You don't taste the fall in that? I mean, I guess I taste a hint of autumn, but it's browned out. Do you like pumpkin things though?

[00:04:33] I love pumpkin things. So let me toss this out to you. You have to watch Truly Madly Sweetly again or drink a venti, one of the biggest sizes of this pumpkin spice latte. What do you do? Well, it's clearly the drink because I can get through it quicker, but I would say this. If this was iced or frozen, then I could power through it. You think so? Yeah, yeah. Because if it's cold... All right, next episode. People, if you want to donate more money to buy more drinks.

[00:05:00] This podcast is just one big gambit for us to get free Starbucks. Yes, that's what it is. Yeah. That should accomplish. A few more things to get out of the way quickly. 100 by Halloween. I think we're going to do it. Half-tag 100 by Halloween. Okay, so here's the backstory. We're recording this earlier in the week. It comes out on Friday. That's right. I don't want to make assumptions that we got 100 by today. Although, we're recording this on a Monday and we have 98. Oh man, two away.

[00:05:26] So I can only imagine that we are going to get the 100 by Halloween. Boy, what an accomplishment. You know what? But what if we did 200 by Halloween? We got until next Wednesday. That was crazy. Let's really go for it. But guys, thank you so much. You guys have been the best. Dan, you wanted to do a quick little contest. Oh yeah. So our store is back up and running on the Etsy. You search Deck the Hallmarks. It's there.

[00:05:53] But what we're going to do is a little contest and Dan, I'd like to kick it over to you to kick that off. So it's the 26th currently by the 31st. That's right. What are we going to do? The best one or the best three? It's up to you, man. How about the two best reviews we read in the next five days before Halloween? You guys get a free shirt. You can go in the store. You can pick whatever shirt you want, the size you want and everything. And it's 100% free from us here at Deck the Hallmark. I think there's three different variations of shirts.

[00:06:22] There's Team Brand, Team Panda, Team Dan with our silhouettes, which is just a weird thing. You don't think I look like Abe Lincoln. You do in a weird way. I do. So if you want a shirt that has Abe Lincoln silhouette that says I love Hallmark, that's a shirt for you. But also just a couple of other cool things on there that you can check out. And also a shirt with just a logo on it if you just want to be very minimalist but support the book. Yeah, absolutely. So lots of great ways to get involved and support your favorite podcast. I'd love to say let's dive into our movie, but we don't actually have one. We're not going to dive into the movie.

[00:06:51] And I've got to be honest, can I tell you just how relaxing it was not watching a Hallmark movie this weekend? Really? I felt my soul kind of atrophied a little bit. I got an email from somebody this week that asked me if I watched the movie that was on this past weekend. And I said, you know what? No. I took the weekend off. And you didn't like the fall movies anyway. I didn't really care for the fall movies, but I did need it. I needed just a little breather before heading. Before we hit the marathon. And I love these movies. I just needed them. We're going to hit the ground running though. And I'm in.

[00:07:21] Don't hear what I'm not saying. It's just nice to be fresh. And I will say that we've got all the movies and the recording dates in our calendar for the next two months. It is going to be a crazy two months, guys. We hope you're in this the whole one. And here's the thing. We're going to do our best. Follow us on the socials at Hallmark Podcast. We're going to do our best to tell you when each movie is premiering and then when our review will come out for that movie. Right. So that'll be each week you'll see those posts on the socials. Beautiful. Explaining when that's going to be happening. Very detailed. Very organized. I love it. Because that's just the way we do things. Guys, what are we doing today though?

[00:07:51] So today is a special day. It's our official kickoff Christmas 2018 kickoff preview show. And what we're going to do is we're each going to pick three movies that kind of goes with how we feel about these Hallmark Christmas movies. So I'm going to pick the three movies that I'm most excited about because I love these movies. Panda. These are the movies that intrigue me. I like these movies. I'm intrigued by this synopsis. Be fun. And then Tom's Dan, you're going to say, I despise, I'm not looking forward to these three. Yeah. So that's where we're going.

[00:08:21] We're going to say the movie, the synopsis for those movies and we'll talk about them a little bit. Are we going to read the entire synopsis? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll go first. This was difficult. I read through all 37. Do you want to do the one, one, one or do you want to do three? Yeah. No one, one, one. One, one, one. One, one. So the movie is called the Highland. So it's called the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel. It's going to air on December 8th at eight, nine o'clock on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel.

[00:08:51] And here's the thing. It's starring Christina Milian, dip it low and bring it up slow and Mark Taylor. And here's the, I don't know what Mark Taylor's song is. It is the same song, just a little bit lower. Here's the official synopsis from entertainment weekly. Noelle, played by Christina Milian, was raised by the queen of... What's wrong? It's this synopsis. The queen of Christmas. That's who it was raised by.

[00:09:18] You cannot interfere in my synopsis. Go ahead. Noelle, played by Christina Milian, was raised by the queen of Christmas. When she inherits her late mother's house, she finds out that her mother had been hiring someone to decorate it. Dave, played by Mark Taylor. The deal's off, but Dave convinces Noelle to let him carry on the tradition. As the display goes up, Noelle's defenses start to come down.

[00:09:46] She embraces the town's Christmas gala. That was her mother's legacy. Finds unexpected love and develops a joy for the holidays that she never thought possible. Why are you so excited about that one, Brandon? I'm excited about that movie for a couple reasons, but mainly it is a classic. This is classic. Hallmark right here. Someone comes into town, a little bit grumpy about Christmas,

[00:10:13] and the entire movie is about the magic of Christmas, bringing that person from zero to hero. Zero to hero. In regards to the Christmas. Gotcha. Another reason I'm excited about this movie is because, and this is history, I think I tweeted about this. Christina Milian was in a movie on the ABC Family Network, and I believe like 2009 called Snow Globe. Oh, Snow Globe.

[00:10:42] Why would you chime in if you didn't know the correct movie? I thought it was Snow Baby. No, we don't talk about that one. It's called Snow Dogs with Cuba Gooding Jr. Called Snow Globe. And that movie has history for me because it was one of the first made-for-TV Christmas movies that I remember watching. Like I was like, oh, what is this? And I loved it. And it's beloved. Like it's a weirdly beloved movie. And now Christina Milian coming to the Hallmark Channel. This is going to be her first Hallmark Channel movie.

[00:11:12] And she's coming with a classic, like this is classic Hallmark Channel. When I think of Hallmark Channel, this is the type of plot that I think of. Someone who hates Christmas, has no Christmas spirit, comes into town, and by the end of the movie has a Christmas spirit. I feel like I'm going to have lots of feels to share about that movie. And so that's why I'm most excited. Not most excited. That's why I'm number three most excited about that movie. I've got to be honest. Reading these plots really just made me just cringe the whole way through. Because it did sound like the same plot.

[00:11:40] And I felt like there were a lot of No-Ls or just E-L-L-E. Something like Ls or No-Ls or Joe-Ls in there. Did it feel that way to you guys? There are lots of Christmas names. I will say that the plots are all running together in my head. Yeah, no, for sure. It's the same movie 37 times. And also, I know that they're predictable, but this just gave away the, like most of these give away the whole movie. Here's what you need to know also. Okay. Most of these plots that we're reading tonight,

[00:12:05] you guys, if you go back at January 1st and listen to this episode, you're going to be like, none of those movies aired. Oh, and not only that. The scripts probably aren't written yet. The scripts are probably not written, or at least they'll be... This is the pitch that got them in the door. That's exactly right. Right. And so if we learn anything from Randy Taylor about Switch for Christmas is... And Randy Carter. Now, Randy Taylor worked on it too, but Carter did most of the work. Well, Randy Taylor is from Home Improvement. That's right. He is. He is. He is. That's right. JTT.

[00:12:35] Randy Newman. What Randy Newman taught us... No, no, no. You got a friend to me. Randy Carter. Randy Carter. That's right. He taught us that these movies, there is an overarching idea, a plan, and then Hallmark Channel changes it. They film it. That's right. They probably filmed a variation of this, and Hallmark Channel changes it to fit their formula. By the time we see it, she'll be Princess Christmas. Yeah, it's going to be different. And even some of these names have already changed. So we talked about that.

[00:13:03] The original list came out on Entertainment Weekly. They put it out, I think, a month ago now. And some of the names have already changed. Some of the dates have already changed. So Hallmark Channel, they're putting out a lot of this stuff early on to get people excited, but that stuff is still subject to change. So just know that as you listen to this, even this plot, all the plots are running together. One, because yes, they are kind of similar, but two, they don't have enough information. Yeah, so they're going to put the stereotypical plot out there. Panda, let's go to you first. What's the number three movie that you're most intrigued by?

[00:13:33] Okay. When I was looking through this list, there were three movies that really did intrigue me. Yes. And the first one here is Christmas at the Palace. Uh-huh. Going to come out November 21st, 8 p.m. on the Hallmark Channel. Stars Merrick Patterson and Brittany Bristol. Anybody? No, no clue. No. Okay. But I will say that I read this plot and it did stick out to me as well. So go for it. This was also on my early list. Right, yeah. So here's the deal. Here's the synopsis.

[00:14:01] Katie, a former professional ice skater played by Patterson. As you do. Is hired by the king of San Sanova, Alexander, to help his daughter in a Christmas ice skating performance. As Katie spends time in the castle with the king, she and Alex begin to develop feelings for each other and ultimately fall in love. But will the tradition-loving people of San Sanova allow their king to make a foreigner their queen? Look, here's why I'm intrigued.

[00:14:28] There are so many things in that plot that I'm excited about. There's so many great elements that could be very intriguing. First of all, you have the great play of a commoner and the royal. Yes. Royalty. Love that idea. You have the foreigner and the insiders. You have the community. Will they embrace her? Won't they embrace her? I don't know. But that's true about every... But no, no, no. No. Not in San Sanova. Not in San Sanova. It's a tradition-loving people. Is that close to Windsure?

[00:14:57] Are we next door? It's in the vicinity. Over under them speaking in British accents. Over. Over. Yeah, that's what I thought. And I would also mention to you, there's hints of really great ice skating scenes in this. Yes. And I could not be more in it. I am intrigued by how, like, from a set design standpoint, right? So how much of this ice, like, how much of the ice skating are we actually going to see? Oh, yeah. Right? Less than half.

[00:15:25] Yeah, I think my issue is that you guys are getting built up about the ice skating scenes, but we all know it's going to be a close-up shot at the actor's face, and then a shot of legs and ice skates, like, doing a triple axel. Let's be honest. That's what's going to happen. I think that we could see something a little bit more this time, guys. And the tradition-loving people, I want to know what traditions they love. I'm going to guess it's Christmas related. It's just a shot in the dark here. It does get a prime spot. That's Thanksgiving week. That is Thanksgiving. Christmas at the palace. But it's what?

[00:15:55] What is it? Tuesday? Two or three days before Thanksgiving. Yeah. That's exciting. I'm excited. I'm intrigued. Wow. Although that week's going to be a cluster. I don't know how with it we're going to be during that review. We're going to be recording all those podcasts at the end of the week. We're going to do six in one night. So you can pray for us. Just thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. Yeah.

[00:16:24] So a lot of these movies look like turd buckets. There's no red around it. I will say that you could have just- Originally, can I tell people? Originally what we were going to do is we were going to do- All of us were going to do three movies that we're all looking forward to. And then I realized that's not true to any of this. No. So let's just give Dan what he wants. Look, I don't want this any more than anybody else does. But the bottom line is that you could pick all of, like just three random ones out and I would have issues.

[00:16:49] But boy, did Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe stick out like a sore thumb. It's going to air on November 23rd at 8 p.m. on the Hallmark Channel. Talk about prime placement. It has a Hallmark celebrity. Celeb. Lacey Chabert. Yes. People love them some Lacey Chabert. She is a big deal. Big deal. She's one of the queens of Christmas. Is she bigger draw than Candace Cameron-Bure? No. Bigger draw than Lori Loughlin? No. Because of what it calls to heart.

[00:17:19] Bigger draw than Tori Amos? Yes. Although I am so in for a Tori Amos Christmas movie. Bigger draw than Kim Basinger. Bigger draw than Dharma from Dharma and Greg? No. Okay, nobody is. Jenna Elfman, that's her name. I want to do her right. Sorry. So, let's go ahead and give you a little synopsis here. Darcy. Can I stop you right there? You're already being condescending in the way you're reading it.

[00:17:47] I need you to give the synopsis with some sort of decorum. How in the world is that? I've one word in. We all heard it. Yeah, but it was nasty. That's because it's the only thing about this entire synopsis that has anything to do with Jane Austen is Darcy. That's it. Get to it. Darcy has always worked hard to prove herself and be successful on her own terms, even choosing to start her own company rather than work with her father.

[00:18:14] Returning to her hometown for Christmas, Darcy reconnects with an old rival, restaurant owner Luke, and they are forced to plan a charity event together. Forced. Who saw that coming? As Darcy spends time with her family and Luke, she starts to realize what matters most in life and sets out to mend her relationship with her father and possibly fall in love. Based on the book by Jane, no, by Melissa de la Cruz.

[00:18:44] So, this movie is going to be terrible. I will say, one is just a bad name. It's a terrible name. But here's the thing. I traditionally do like Lacey's movies. I've never seen a Lacey should be a film. I think she could carry the film. Yeah, somehow we went through this preview season of ours and didn't cover a Lacey movie. Well, I just, how did we get to that name? I just don't get it. Yeah, it's bad. It's a bad name. It's a bad name. It's terrible.

[00:19:13] Do you think, what do you think? Do you think Jane Austen will make an appearance at some point? Not the actual person. She's dead. The ghost of Jane Austen probably. Let's be honest. That's Emma Thompson. Emma Thompson's going to play Jane Austen if anybody's going to play her. Well, of course. Emma Thompson's too good for Hallmark. So, it's a no. But do you think they make reference to Jane Austen? I would hope so. When I saw the title, I was like, oh no, this is going to be a disaster. It's a Jane Austen Christmas film on the Hallmark Channel. And the only thing worse than that is a movie that infers Jane Austen but has nothing to do with Jane Austen.

[00:19:43] So, except for Darcy is the name of Lacey Chabert. So, there is that. Mrs. Darcy. Mrs. Darcy. That's correct. Or Ms. Darcy. Yeah, we don't. Yeah, it's Ms. Darcy. I wonder what Luke's last name is. I wonder if they're going to have any gentleman callers. It's from a book. I will say my Pride and Prejudice knowledge is minimal at best. After you watch this movie, you'll be locked in. I don't know as much then as I do now.

[00:20:13] I believe. At least. I believe. So, it is time for my number two movie that I'm most excited about. And it is Mingle All the Way. No turbo men in this movie. Now, I will say, without even reading the synopsis, this was like one of the movies that I first saw. I was like, I love that. That's a fun thing. Mingle All the Way, I love it. Wow. It's, according to Entertainment Weekly, it airs on November 18th.

[00:20:40] According to the Hallmark Channel's website, as of today, when I looked at it, it airs on December 1st. So, we're going to go with Hallmark. We'll go with the Hallmark Channel. December 1st, 8 p.m. on the Hallmark Channel. It stars Jen Lilly. It stars Brant Daughtry. And it stars Lindsay Wagner. I'm going home. Is it Chris Daughtry you said? Yes. And the official synopsis goes a little something like this. Mingle All the Way is a new networking app designed to pair busy professionals together for upcoming events.

[00:21:09] Without long-term romance, Molly, played by Jen Lilly, founder of the app, is determined to prove to her family that it's a success. Therefore, she joins the app herself and meets another busy professional, Jeff, played by Daughtry. I'm going home. When Molly and Jeff are matched, they're both horrified to realize that they already had not one, but two disastrous previous encounters.

[00:21:33] Nevertheless, they agree to stay matched up for the entire upcoming holiday and their holiday arrangements. As the pair gets closer, perhaps their business arrangements might turn into something more this holiday season. Ooh. Something special. Let me tell you why I'm excited about this movie. Please do. I love it when Homer tucks tech. Yep.

[00:21:59] But at the same time, I love a good... This isn't just an old flame rekindled. This is an old flame rekindled, but we're going to fake it. We're going to fake it for the sake of family and for the holidays. This is the same storyline of another movie a couple years ago. Gosh, maybe it was last year. But they meet up and they're like, you know what?

[00:22:28] What if we just fake dips for the sake of our careers? Of course. It gets better, and then they end up falling in love. And I was disappointed it's not a sequel to the Sinbad hit, Jingle All the Way, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. That movie is so good. Turbo Man. It's a staple in the Greyhouse at Christmas time. I love that movie. I actually love Sinbad. I'm unabashedly a big Sinbad guy. We have argued about this movie. Yeah, but the movie is just not great. Agree or disagree? Panda?

[00:22:58] Okay. It's time for your number two movie that you're most intrigued by. Number two. Number two for me is a movie called Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas, which is the longest title, if I'm not mistaken, of any Hallmark movie. It's going to be... I can almost guarantee you that will not be the final name. Yeah. But here's why I think it might be is because it is based off of the book and a Blake Shelton song. Oh, it's Blake... Come on. It's based off of a Blake Shelton, the country singer song? Yes. And a book? And a book. I'll get to it. When's it coming out?

[00:23:28] December 15th, 9 p.m. on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries, starring Josh Henderson and Megan Park. Get a load of this. Here's the synopsis from Entertainment Weekly. Based on the song by Blake Shelton and the book by Dorothy Shackleford and Travis Thrasher. It's the worst. Dude, Thrasher, he doesn't write anything but hits. Yeah. Oh. Nothing but hits. Oh, man. So here's my question by that sentence. I just want to know, did they write the song and the book or is it just... My guess is that they wrote... Blake Shelton had the song. All right.

[00:23:58] And then they wrote the book based upon the song and the movie based on the book. Because if they wrote a whole movie based just upon the country song... How about Christmas Shoes? That was based on the movie. I cannot believe that that is a movie. I will never. Oh, my God. I can't even... We got to watch it next year. That's next year. It's the last Friday before Christmas in New York City and a massive storm is brewing. Yes. Small town businesswoman Cara Hill is meeting with her banker while country music star Heath Sawyer is playing Madison Square Garden.

[00:24:25] When the flight to Tulsa they're both booked on is canceled, this unlikely pair of strangers winds up traveling together. Each has a secret. Heath hasn't written a song since his father died. Whoa. That took a turn. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. And Cara's mother recently passed and her family's jam business is failing. How did this one slip through the cracks? Hold on. See this one.

[00:24:52] Will Christmas provide a miracle and a chance at love? Time for me to come home for Christmas is a touching story about finding a way home after a loss to your family and to your own true self. There's a lot of things I'm intrigued by. There's so much in this analysis. Christmas jam band. I was all in on that movie until I got to the jam part. And I was like, what? But you see, that's why I'm intrigued. Because how many different types of jam are there for somebody?

[00:25:21] Well, I think my issue is it's like, look, Heath hasn't written a song since his dad died. Cara's mom died. And her jam business is failing. Okay. Okay. Can I ask you a question? You don't save that for last. You don't do that. You don't go, well, his dad died. Her mom died. Jam business is failing. And that's the kicker. Would you rather be in a writer's block or your jam business be going out of business? What's the worst? What's the worst?

[00:25:49] I would rather have writer's block because I don't ever want a jam business. Unless I'm in Pleasant Valley for jam fest. Jam fest. Because you can get some honey. That's right. Yeah. Apparently they have honey at the jam fest. I love a good jam fest. And I'm sorry for you. Go listen to it. You know, how are jam businesses really working at all? Like, there's so many jams out there. It's Smuckers. Right? Yeah, Smuckers is it, right? But is that a jam or a jelly or a preserve? Because they're all different. Who's the old guy that used to do the birthday on the Today Show?

[00:26:19] I don't remember. Come on, guys. No, I ain't got nothing. Emails. Take the homework. We'll put it in the Santa's mailbag. Here's the second reason I'm intrigued, Brian and Dan. I'm excited to tell this. The potential of a road trip. There is going to be a road trip, clearly. There will be a road trip, and I freaking love road trips. Do you think there will be flashbacks in the road trip, or will it just be jam talk? Just jam talk. Over under Blake Shelton songs. Over. All of them. I love it. Somehow, all red, the dog in the prison, is going to get a song on there. I don't know how.

[00:26:48] The movie's going to end with a concert in the jam festival. In Pleasant Valley. No. The jam band. The jam building. There's a concert, and it's going to pan over, and it's going to be Blake Shelton turning his chair. He presses the button for the jam band. Oh, my goodness. And it brings it all up. Christmas Jam Band is a better title for that. It's a great title. It's a great title. Thank you. Check it out December 15th, 9 p.m. Boy. I mean, this is just going to sound like a downer.

[00:27:17] I like, dude. That is everything you could want in a bad movie, what you just talked about. Circle that. How's things going for you? My mom died in my jam business. It's like, how does that get served? That's the thing that starts the ball rolling. Well, the jam business is failing. Well, of course it is, Daryl. It's a jam business. You put all your money in jam. Is your name Charlie Smuckers? You should have diversified, but no. All jam. Not even honey in there. No, no, no.

[00:27:46] Should we do some butters? No. Get out of your butters. No biscuits. Jam or jam. Just jam. Jam or death. By the spoonful. All right. Time for the number two movie that Dan is most not happy about. Most not looking forward to. Least looking forward to. I think that's how we'd say that.

[00:28:14] I'm going to go with a God wink Christmas. A God wink Christmas. I agree 100%. Really? I looked at this and I thought, this looks like a train wreck. You know what I learned about from our good friend Patrick at the Lifetime Court? This movie apparently was originally slated for last year. It got bumped. Something happened with Kathie Lee Gifford. Oh. And it got pushed to this year. But luckily she didn't get bumped. It didn't make the top 34 from last year.

[00:28:42] It made the top 34 so it got pushed to the top 37. I wonder if there's any jam in this movie. I hope so. No. I'm out of business. So this movie airs November 18th at 9 p.m. on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. It stars Kimberly Sustad from Nine Lives of Christmas. I love her. That's right. Corky. You guys really liked her. I was mad. People were enraged. That I said something. Yeah. And I said that they made her look frumpy. Not that she was frumpy. But anyway. She's delightful. Paul Campbell. And then. Yeah. That's right. You guessed it.

[00:29:12] Kathy Lee Gifford. Yeah. Is going to be in a home office. She was the one that held up this one last year apparently. Wow. Well. Boy. As soon as I saw that name. I went. This is going to be an absolute train wreck. Until you read the synopsis. And you said. It is going to be worse than a train wreck. The synopsis makes me wish. Hope for a train wreck. It's bad. It's a long synopsis. If I had a top three that I was at least looking forward to. This would be it. You would even say you're excited about this one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Official synopsis. Everybody ready?

[00:29:43] As Christmas approaches, Paula, played by Kimberly Sustad, a St. Louis antique appraiser, reluctantly accepts a marriage proposal from her boyfriend. Look, it's 2018. Can we stop with the reluctant acceptance of proposals on Hallmark? It's like. They earned it. You know why? This year they have a movie where a female's a veteran. Wow. They have a few movies with some people of color and the leads.

[00:30:08] I'm just sick of women being like on the fence and it being okay for them to just go ahead with the proposal. That's not all right. It's an indecent proposal. Oh. I. You did it. Okay. Anyway. I hate it because it was all just one giant bill. I just did a good job. And I should have seen it coming. I'm trying to make like excuses for Hallmark and you're just still working your way to the bed. I was not trying to do a bit. It just came to me. Guys.

[00:30:38] Are you going to drink lukewarm pumpkin spice latte? Because I'm going to throw up. It's just sitting here. I'm going to throw up. It's just sitting. That's been sitting out forever. It's just sitting here. That is. Should I put it in the fridge and heat it up in the morning? Yeah. I wouldn't. All right. We got to get through this, guys. This is the longest. We're going to lose fans on this. All right. Yeah. I will say if you're still listening and this is your first episode, stop. Yeah. Please. Come back Monday. Go to the early ones. We heard they're our best.

[00:31:08] So Paula is a St. Louis antique appraiser. Big antique appraising business. And she reluctantly accepts a marriage proposal from her boyfriend, Daniel. Daniel. Played by Giles Panton from Chesapeake Shores. Is it Giles or Giles? It's Giles or Giles Panton, I think, is the last name of what's important. Could be Panton. Yeah. Check out some Chesapeake Chats by the Hallmarkies, if you don't mind. A career-focused attorney.

[00:31:35] When her aunt Jane, played by Kathy Lee Gifford, senses she has mixed emotions over her engagement, she invites Paula to her Nantucket home. Upon her arrival, Paula plans a trip to the nearby island of Martha's Vineyard where she meets Gary. Jerry. It's Gary with an E. It's hard to say. It's hard to know. Charming inn owner. When bad weather prevents her from departing, Paula winds up staying at Jerry Gary's Inn and enjoying local holiday festivities alongside him.

[00:32:05] They begin to have feelings for each other. But when the weather clears up, they part ways and Paula returns to Nantucket, sensing she's falling for Jerry Gary. Did they attach a script to this one? Sensing she's falling for Jerry Gary.

[00:32:31] Aunt Jane shares with Paula her belief, wait for it, that their meeting was God's way of winking at her to help determine which direction her life should take. When Daniel surprises her by spontaneously arriving in Nantucket, Paula decides to move forward with their marriage plans. But back in St. Louis, Daniel soon returns to his all-business ways, and a fed-up Paula finally realizes they're not compatible.

[00:32:57] When Jane invites her back to Nantucket for Christmas, Paula accepts, unaware that Jane has devised a plan to bring her and Jerry Gary together from author Squire Rushnall of the Godwinks book series Roll Credits. You won't believe it, but while you're talking about this, all of Christmas at Pemberley Manor airs. That's right. And we're going to start that episode right now. That was forever, and it sounds awful. Well, you know why? Because that movie's been around for a year.

[00:33:26] That's right. But it's part of a series. I mean, it's been in the can for over a year. What's the guy's name? What's the author's name? Squire Rushnall. Squire one night was sitting in bed. He was like, that's God winking. God winks. I'm going to write a series. Give me a pen. Stay out. If God's winking that much, he's got a twitch. That's a lot of problems. Boy, of the supernatural movies to put on us. I hate it when Hallmark gets supernatural. So bad. When there's angels.

[00:33:57] I've not seen one yet, but I get the feeling I'm going to hate it, too. They are the worst. Mm-mm-mm. And there's nothing I can say about it. I mean, just give me. That synopsis was enough for me to tell you that it's going to be a garbage movie. Give me a jam business going out of business any day of the week. Jam business going out of business. Wow. At that point, it's just a shelf. That's right. That's all it is. Man. Yeah, that looks like a trailer. We can all agree that one's going to be a chore. It's just going to be a chore. At least it's not a Hall of Fame one.

[00:34:25] I will say, if there is, for whatever reason, you know, something, God forbid, something awful happens to us that time, we are not going to go out of our way to make that one up. No, no, no. Well, we've got to do all 37. And that's the problem. No, we'll play Patrick. I'm just hoping the house burns down or something. You're like, your house? Yes. Wow. So you're telling me if the studio burns down, we've still got to figure out a way to watch God?

[00:34:55] That's God's way of winking and telling us my home. We shouldn't do that. We're all doing it. It's happening. Guys, it's time for my last movie, the movie, the number one movie that I'm most excited about. And I just want to point this out. The number one movie that I'm actually most excited about is Christopher Palaha's movie, Small Town Christmas. But what I didn't want to do is I didn't want there to be outside reasons. Because we love Christopher Palaha. We're big fans. I love Chris. He's great. And for that reason alone, I am most excited about Small Town Christmas.

[00:35:22] It sounds like a good movie, but I just wanted it to base solely on plot alone. And because of that, I'm most excited about Christmas Bells Are Ringing. It is coming out on December 23rd at 9 p.m. on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. It's starting Emily Allurep and Josh Kelly. Any movie with Emily Allurep in it is one of my favorites. Dude, that drink that we got from Ina has so much Allureps in it. It does. Give me eight pumps.

[00:35:51] How long is this podcast? We're over an hour. We're fine, but a lot of it's getting cut out. I got you. The official synopsis for this movie is this. Samantha, a freelance photographer, is returning to Cape Cod for the first time since the death of her mother years earlier. She's going to celebrate her father's Christmas Eve wedding to the lovely Helen, but is anxious to revisit past memories.

[00:36:16] However, having never been to the Cape during the winter, she finds that it's a whole new experience. On deadline for her first big Christmas spread that could ignite her career, she enlists the help of her childhood friend, Mike, to show her around. In the time she spends in Cape Cod with her dad, Helen and Mike, she finds meaning in her creative pursuits, falls in love, and realizes that Christmas is wherever your family is. Wow. Wow.

[00:36:46] I am intrigued by this movie. Not intrigued. I'm excited. I'm sorry. Wrong character. I'm excited. I'm excited for this movie for a few reasons, but I would say the reason I'm most excited about this is Cape Cod in the winter. I mean, come on. What? Is it anything like Martha's Vineyard in the winter? We just read about God ween Christmas. Yeah, but that one's going to be awful. Yeah. This is going to be two people rekindling their relationship. Her kind of restoring a relationship that seems to be frayed with her dad, also kind of realizing

[00:37:16] that family is what Christmas is about. All of that mixed with beautiful scenery in Cape Cod at Christmastime, two days before Christmas, boys, two days before Christmas's airs. I could not be more excited to spend my December 23rd eating some Christmas cookies, drinking a glass of frickin' milk, and watching Christmas bells are ringing on the Homework News and Mysteries channel. I can't wait. I want to know how a Christmas-like spread is supposed to ignite your career.

[00:37:43] Is anybody reading any periodicals or newspapers on Christmas Day that I don't know about? First of all, you don't even get it. You don't even get it. Are they busy down at the pet auction or adoption? Not the auction. I've got a beagle. Give me one dollar one dollar. I'm excited for that movie, and I hope you are, too. I want to see a movie about a pet auction. What would it be called at Christmastime? A Home for Christmas. Canines. Canine days for Christmas. Sold to the woofer of front.

[00:38:12] Panda, what movie are you most intrigued by? The number one most intrigued. Okay, guys. This is a winner on every level. And here it is. It's Northern Lights of Christmas coming out December 2nd, 9 p.m. on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. The stars Ashley Williams and Corey Sevier. Pretty pumped about this. It's a heavy-hitting cast there. You have no idea, Dan. And here's why. Because get a load of this synopsis.

[00:38:40] Zoe Hathaway, played by Williams, has been working towards her lifelong goal of being a pilot for years. But everything is thrown off course when she, wait for it, unexpectedly inherits a reindeer farm. Along with the dangerously handsome rancher, Alec Wynn, played by Sevier. Oh, man. There's a reindeer farm. Is that a real thing I want to pause and ask? Is that like a legitimate? I don't know if it's a real thing.

[00:39:06] But the fact that she can inherit a ranch hand means that we've got some issues. A handsome ranch hand. Unless it's pre-1865. It's a period of peace. Now buried in taking care of reindeer and all the Christmas responsibilities, Zoe thinks life has delivered her a strange and cumbersome blow. And she isn't sure about Alec, who has his own ideas about how best to run things. Being the one that's run it for years and years.

[00:39:36] Alec, who has never had many people have faith in him, opens up when Zoe invests trust in him and the two find themselves falling for each other. Could they both find happiness in the most unlikely of circumstances right before Christmas? Yes, yes they can. That's exactly what's going to happen. That movie's wild, man. She's going to be a pilot. She's going to be a pilot. She's been working. She's so close to getting her wings. Dude, what if she... She answers the phone. Hey, we got some reindeer. And I got one grand train. One grand train.

[00:40:05] His name is Alec. His name is Alec. You either come down here or they're all going to fly. So what if she at the end of the movie flies the reindeer? What if reindeer actually fly and like... Dude, dude, dude. I'm all in. I'm all in at that point. That's why I'm intrigued. Plus you've got great animals. So she's finally coming around. She gets a phone call from pilot school and they're like, you need to be here and take your final test or else you can't do it. And so she flies in on the reindeer. Oh. And they're like... Here's your life. Thumbs up. Yeah, here are the wings. That's all you get. Oh, that would be great.

[00:40:34] And then she goes to work for Santa. Of course. I think that's the natural byproduct of it. What happens with Handsome Ranch? What about... What happens to the reindeer that just don't measure up for Santa's sleigh? They go to this ranch. With Alec. With Alec. With Severe. What if it turns out that there's a dark twist to all of this? He's actually been slaughtering the reindeer and she's like, I've got an idea. Let's not do that. The leftover reindeer. Why did you need him to go there? Wow. Just dark? Too dark? Yeah. Oh, come on. I mean, we're an animal-friendly podcast here.

[00:41:03] I tried to give away a beagle in an auction a second ago. Did you hear that? To a good home. Of course. No, no, no. Of course, to a good home. You wouldn't just give one of them. Have your pets baby. No, I wouldn't. We are going to wrap this thing up with Dan. Dan. Mercifully wrap this thing up. Which movie are you least excited? Number one, it's not even close. It's A Shoe Addict's Christmas. Yeah. It doesn't look great. Now, we've got a couple things working against it. First of all, it's called A Shoe Addict's Christmas.

[00:41:31] I will say, so we've been reaching out to people. We've got a lot of great guests lined up for the holiday season. That's right. And one of the movies that I get asked about the most is, what in the world is A Shoe Addict's Christmas? If you think it's about a shoe addict who can't stop buying shoes and then discovering the true meaning of Christmas is giving, you'd be wrong. That would make sense. But instead, we get another quite long synopsis. But before we get there, it does star the Hallmark Queen herself,

[00:41:59] Ms. Candace Cameron Bure. What'd she say? Mrs. Candace Cameron Bure. Mrs. Yeah, there she is. Didn't want to come on our podcast. Whoa. We don't need a... Are we throwing shade? Edit it out. That's fine. Wow. Okay. I mean, look, he talked about slaughtering reindeer. I'm just telling the truth here. I think you're being harsher than I was. It's a puppy auction, okay? Just hear me out, all right?

[00:42:28] And there's an auction here. Here's a big one. Yeah. Hold it up. It's a whole bit. Brandon's getting frustrated over there. I'm getting sleepy. I'm going to read. I'm going to read. All right. Here we go. I'm going to read. A Shoe Addict's Christmas sold to the woofer in the front. That's what I said. I did like that. You did like that? That's good. That's the name of the movie. So dumb. This is why we have to have, like, segments. This is why. It's not because we don't... All right. Hold on.

[00:42:59] Shoe Addict's Christmas. Here it is. As Christmas approaches, Noel... Oh, another Noel. Get out of town. Two L's or one. Is at a crossroads in her life. Two L's or a one. Two L's and an E. It's the same thing. Man. Yep. Noel's at a crossroads in her life when it seems that a love... Nope. Seems that love, a connection with her father, and her dream career are out of reach. Still nothing about shoes. When she stays late at her job in a department store on a snowy Christmas Eve, she accidentally

[00:43:29] gets locked in after closing. Still nothing about shoes. She isn't too concerned about the prospect of spending the night in the store until a quirky woman appears out of nowhere. And she calls the police. No, she doesn't. She actually appears in the shoe department and tells Noel that she's her guardian angel. Soon, Noel finds herself revisiting Christmas's past, present, and future as she must work with her new neighbor, a handsome Christmas-loving firefighter. Wow. Got it.

[00:43:58] Hitting all the tens right there. Here, to plan the annual Christmas charity gala. Will visiting the holidays of yesterday and tomorrow help Noel take new chances and discover the true spirit of Christmas? All right. And in realizing that the only thing standing in her way of leading a fulfilling life is herself, will the love she has longed for all her life be the best surprise gift of all? Shoe addicts Christmas. All right. Let me tell you what I think about this one.

[00:44:28] I love takes on A Christmas Carol, which is clearly this. That's what's happening there. Here's the thing is, spoiler alert, I do too. Yeah. And that's what's really making me bummed out about this movie. You can keep putting out Christmas carols every year and I'll watch them. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the one no one's been asking for. That's right. And I don't know who... Is the shoe addict the quirky woman who appears as a ghost in the... Because it never says that Noelle's the shoe addict.

[00:44:58] It just happens in the shoe part. Yeah. Maybe when she gets stuck, she's like, yes, now I can try all the shoes. Even though she works there. Yeah. Well, she doesn't have time. During the day. I don't know, man. I'm trying to make two less of a right. It doesn't look good. It looks so bad. It does not look good. I will say, this is my one movie that... It's a wild card for me. A wild card? It's a wild card because I could see this movie actually surprising me and being one of my favorites

[00:45:27] of the season, depending on how it goes. I don't think that's going to happen. Bold. And this comes from someone who is not a fan of Candace. We've seen a lot of Candace Cameron so far, and I've got to be honest with you. She's a revelation. Yeah, you said she was a revelation. She's also not great. I don't buy that at all. Yeah, I feel like you've changed your tune. I love that you said Candace Cameron was a revelation, and we have it on tape. It's the best thing ever. Guys, we did it. Hey, we did it. Wow. Who's excited for these movies? I'm so excited. I could not be more than it. We can tell you this much.

[00:45:55] Tomorrow night, 8 o'clock, Christmas at Pemberley Manor, kicks this whole thing off. 8 o'clock, Hallmark Channel. Watch it. And then we will be back on Monday, just a few days from now, telling you exactly how we feel about the first movie of the season. I'm super pumped. I'm also kind of thankful that it's just one movie to kick things off. To get it going. It feels like a regular week for us. That's exactly right. And then it gets out of hand. Things get a little wacky. Get out of hand, for sure. Follow us on the socials.

[00:46:23] Make sure that you know when episodes are coming out. We're going to tell you exactly when to tap on. Continue to tell your friends. Rate and review. Thanks so much for all the love. The response is just so fun. 100 by Halloween. We're still not quite there, but hopefully by Monday we'll have good news. And what else did I have to say? I don't know. But if you have any questions, get the sling. Email us at deckthehallmarkpodcast at gmail.com with your questions. We love to answer those on air. For Santa's mailbag. We're looking forward to all of the excitement that the countdown to Christmas brings. Thanks for sticking with us for this whole podcast.

[00:46:53] And don't forget, our two favorite reviews are going to get their very own Deck the Hallmark t-shirt. That's right. Free on the house. So you still got time to squeeze on in there. That's right. The best two by Halloween. That's right. Free t-shirts. Guys, Merry Christmas. We're so excited to officially be doing this. It's happening right now. Merry Christmas.

[00:47:23] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.