DTH Classic: The Christmas Card

[00:00:02] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast. Hi, my name is Brian and I love Hallmark Christmas movies. Hey, my name's Dan and I like Hallmark Christmas movies. Hi, I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast.

[00:00:24] Oh boy! We made it to the top of the mountain. It is mid-October. We're getting close. We are so close. The leaves are crackling. Not really, but I hope that they will shortly. Yes. Soon. It's still hot.

[00:00:51] It's been a late fall. You know, out west they already got their first snowstorm. It's unreal. Well, we haven't even gotten our first sub-60 degree day, although that's coming this weekend. It's coming this weekend. I'm pretty excited. When this is released, we'll probably have our first one. Guys, are we going to go apple picking together? Fall. No, we're not, but fall will have officially started at that point. Fair enough. I'm excited. I'll bring you a pumpkin spice latte. So, never had one. Never had a pumpkin spice latte. If we bring it next week, we will do it live on the air. A PSL. Yes. Fair enough. A PSL.

[00:01:19] Can you bring an iced one if I want to do just one of these? A frappuccino? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You need to drink it hot. Okay. I actually would disagree with you on that. It's a fall drink. I get it, but it's 78 degrees outside. It won't be. It's going to be a nice week. Okay. If someone brings me one, I will try it on the air. Not so much. I don't know about that. We're doing it on the air. Okay. But Rhett and Link are the biggest guys on YouTube, and all they do is eat salt and vinegar chips. Will it latte? Yeah. That's all they do.

[00:01:48] We're better than them. What about the number one Christmas movie? Come on the show. Yes. We are finally here, guys. It was originally going to be like two months ago that we were here, and then we were like, let's drag it out. So here we are. Let's do some fall movies. It is. It's mid-October, and we finally got to the number one Christmas movie of all time as voted by you, the fans. And it's important to note, Hallmark Christmas movies, not Christmas movies in general. In general. Right. Because if this beat out, it's a wonderful life, and I've got some questions. It's everything that's wrong with America.

[00:02:18] But it is the Hallmark Channel's It's a Wonderful Life, and it is called The Christmas Card, and we're very excited to talk to you guys about it. But first, a couple of housekeeping things. You know the drill. One, leave us a review on the iTunes. We're getting so many. I think we're at 65. I would love to get to 100 before Christmas. How about before Thanksgiving? Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's good. How about before Halloween? 100 before Halloween. You know what would be scary if we got over 100 before? Prove me wrong. 100 before Halloween.

[00:02:46] 100 before Halloween. Hashtag it. And that's alliteration. 100, the 100 Halloweens. That's right. Don't try that. So please do that. That'd be wonderful. Another thing I'd like to throw out there, here's something that I hear is really helpful. If you take a screenshot of you listening to the pod and throw it on your Instagram story and tag us in it, apparently that's the new way people are finding things. Well, I am so on board with that, but you did put air quotes around helpful.

[00:03:16] I don't know why you decided it's helpful. Wink, wink. Well, this is just what I'm reading. Okay. This is what I'm reading. Gotcha. What else do we have from a housekeeping standpoint? You can find us on the socials. We're on Insta. We're on Twitter. We're on Facebook. If you're not following us on those things, I don't know even how you found us. No, no. But thanks for joining. Yeah. We're proud of you. So go find us on all those things at Hallmark Podcast because we did it. And last but not

[00:03:43] least, one of the questions that we get the most is I either have a cable provider that doesn't have both the Hallmark channels or I just recently cut the cord, but I want to watch the Hallmark movies. What can I do? So option one was me. I did not have the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel. And the thing I never thought I'd have to do was research how to add that to my package, to my satellite package, but it does cost extra money. And so people are asking these questions. But I'm a cord cutter. I've never had cable. I'm no interest in having me. Same here. Also, candor cord. Same here.

[00:04:10] See, I'm older than you guys. I think that's what it boils down to. And you're just very snobby. I am. When it comes to watching TV, I am very snobby. Oh, it buffered for a sec. Throw it out. That's it. Pretty much. And so what we did is we researched all the options. And what we've come up with is we think that you guys should go and get Sling TV. It's an app that you can get on your Apple TV, your Roku, your phone, or your computer. And you can get both of those channels. It's easily the best option, not only because it has all the channels you're used to in

[00:04:40] cable, but also because, as Brandon just said, it's the only one of the online options that offers Hallmark Movie Mysteries and the Hallmark channel, so you won't miss a single second. And Hallmark Drama. And I, what is, no. Yeah, it's a third network. They don't play the Christmas movies, but it's a thing. No. So anyways, here's what we want you to do. We're going to, we have teamed up, if you will, with Sling. Yeah, we have. And we're offering you, one, a seven-day free trial, so give it a try, maybe late October. Yeah. Try it. When it kicks off.

[00:05:08] When it kicks off. And then here's what I'm going to tell you to do. Get it for two months. Get it through the end of December. And then if you don't need to cancel it. And then you can cancel it. That's easy. And you can literally cancel anytime. Anytime. That's Sling. There's no penalty. It's great. And the great thing about it, can I tell you this? If you cancel it like mid-billing cycle, you still get it through the end of the billing cycle. Ooh. I know. I probably shouldn't tell you that. And Sling probably would be happy with us, but what are you going to do? So here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to bit.do slash Hallmark Podcast.

[00:05:36] And you are going to get a seven-day free trial. That's the key word. It's Hallmark Podcast. And so that's what you're going to do. And you're going to get it for the two months. Watch all these movies with us. Trust me. We looked into all the options, and this is what we think is best for you. I have to tell you, my mom, who is a big fan of supporting me, even though she doesn't like how negative I am on this particular program, my parents have Sling, and she added the Hallmark channels. She'd been wanting to do it for a while now. My dad doesn't like

[00:06:04] the movies because it's genetic. And my mom talked my dad into adding the channels so she could watch the movies and follow along. Dan's mom's a real champ. She really is just better than me. There's no way around it. We agree. How about that? I haven't told my mom about the podcast. Have you told your mom? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. Oh, yeah. No. I'm sure that was first night. Miss Panda's Fred. Okay. Bit.do slash Hallmark Podcast. Get it today. Or in late October. Let's be smart about this. That's right.

[00:06:34] We're trying to give you the most bang for your buck. Get ready. That's right. And that's all that we have for you. Are you guys ready? I'm ready as well. It's time to talk about The Christmas Card, which originally aired on December 2nd, 2006. And it went a little something like this. The movie kicks off with our leading gal, Faith, writing letters to the troops accompanied by just some really unfortunately chosen Christmas music, which somehow plays again later on in the movie. Every year, Faith takes part in Operation Christmas Card, a project that her church puts on to

[00:07:03] send Christmas cards to the troops. Sergeant Cody Cullen is one of those troops, and he's handed a card by a guy named Jonesy, who is the one who comes bearing cards, but also cookies. So Jonesy received the cards from his fiancee back home and asked him to hand them out to the troops. And Sergeant Cullen really seems to be finding great comfort in the card, but also in the cookies.

[00:07:29] We see Jonesy then get injured during an airstrike, and tragically, he ends up passing away. And so Sergeant Cullen doesn't really seem to be handling this well, and he's encouraged to take a leave instead of staying for another couple of years. So he gets to Nevada City, which is where Jonesy's fiancee is and where the cards originally came from to give her his dog tags, but also thank whoever sent him such a nice Christmas card.

[00:07:57] And so he decides to stay in town for a little bit and steps into a diner to order a sandwich, curly fries extra crispy, and a hot cocoa. And he goes to the bathroom for one second. He comes back and he sees this woman, Faith, just showing down on his meal. Turns out that she orders the exact same meal, extra crispy. Next, at the church, Cody sees Faith's dad, Luke, and he ends up pushing Luke out of the way of a car

[00:08:26] who was just going very fast in the middle of the town. A reckless abandonment by this person. And so he goes and he pushes Luke out of the way. And to say thank you, they basically force Cody to move in with them because it's the holidays. Cody and Faith spend some time getting to know each other, and she even brings him to the family magic spot, which isn't nearly as weird as it sounds. We then meet Paul, Faith's long-distance boyfriend, who suddenly drives into town for the holidays

[00:08:54] despite almost always having a glass of wine in his hands. Paul isn't a fan of Cody staying with the family, and the family isn't really a fan of Paul. We see Paul gets really whiny jealous a couple times, including when he donates stuff to charity and claims that Faith was more taken by Cody's generosity than his, which really shows just how generous he is. Paul buys a ring to propose and is convinced that she's going to be willing to travel with him and drink wine 24-7.

[00:09:23] But then Faith finds Cody at the magic spot, and they fall down, and they end up going to town and making out. And we're like, oh, man. And she's like, uh-oh, got to run. Paul rents out an entire restaurant to propose, and she's like, sure, but we all see in her eyes that she's not super pumped about it. Cody finds out and decides that he's going to reenlist. And Luke is just like, no, don't do that. You love her. You should stay. And he's like, no, I got to let her go.

[00:09:52] Well, Luke's not done yet. Faith's car battery died, and Paul's nowhere to be found. And so Luke sends Cody in a one-horse open sleigh because apparently horses can jumpstart cars. Cody and Paul bumps into each other outside the church on Christmas Eve, and we hope that there's going to be a fight, but they just talk, and it's a real bummer. Faith keeps looking back during the service, hoping that Cody's going to walk in, but he doesn't, and that's when Paul realizes that she's more in love with Cody.

[00:10:20] And so he storms out during Silent Night, which is just downright disrespectful. She runs after him and gives the ring back to him. Cody's nowhere to be found afterwards, and he left a card in the Christmas tree explaining that it was her Christmas card that brought him there in the first place. And Luke is like, I know where he's at. So she goes to the Veterans Bridge and brings him a sandwich and curly fries, extra crispy, and they kiss, and she drops the food to fade to black. And that, my friends, is the Christmas card.

[00:10:51] Yes, it is. It was a lot to get through. Man, those movies back then had a lot more plot points. A lot of plot. A lot of plot. Than truly madly sweetly. Sorry, it's usually quicker than that, guys. Oh, boy. Guys, we have four segments on this show. Yes, we do. And today is no different, and I'm very excited to dive into this one. The very first segment is the hot take, where we share exactly how we felt about this movie.

[00:11:21] I typically start with Panda, and I'm going to do the same today. Panda, what did you think? I got to shoot straight with you. I did not like this movie. Oh. Look, I understand why this movie is number one on a number of levels. Like, first of all, it packs so much in there. It has literally all the Hallmark cliches that you could expect in one film. And there's a side to this. Aside from the almost kiss. No, there's just some straight kisses. Yeah, no, there are some straight kisses.

[00:11:48] But this was racy 2006. But we've seen this before in older Hallmark films. Look, it just, to me, the lines were some of the worst. But I will also say this. There's a side to me where I was like, I also get it. So even though I wasn't a fan of it, I also get it. Yeah. And I didn't hate it. Let me be clear. Sure. It just wasn't a huge fan of it overall. Yeah, I like this movie. I've seen it before.

[00:12:17] There is this whole thing in the Hallmark Facebook groups where people are very upset because they don't play this movie very much. They don't play a lot of the older ones. They've kind of retired. They still show up, but it's usually like at 3 a.m. I get why people like this movie. I do like this movie. I think it's good. It gives me feels, and we'll talk about that. And I like, I love the dad. I love Luke. I think he's fantastic. He plays Santa in Elf.

[00:12:45] And Asner is an absolute pro. No doubt about it. He was incredible in this movie. He might be a redeeming factor in the film. He made me laugh so much. Same with Henry Winkler. Similar situation. Similar, similar. Yeah. And so he saved this movie a lot for me. But I didn't like Cody. He, to me, couldn't figure out what he was as an actor. He was serious.

[00:13:15] And then sometimes he had this weird grin, but sometimes he just looked uncomfortable. He looks like a mean head to me. Yeah. It's like a, uh. He kind of came across a couple times as whiny, too. Yeah. And it's weird, because I know they were trying to not make him that way. Still came across that way. Yeah. He was just unfortunate for me. He was the worst part of this movie. Wow. But I like the movie. I like the movie as a whole. Gotcha. You know what?

[00:13:42] There's one rule of thumb for me about movies in general. The best movies always end with an abundantly passionate kiss at a Vietnam War Memorial. Those movies where they're at a Vietnam War Memorial, and they decide to like next level kiss. Like, oh, kiss. Drop the curlies. Drop the curlies. Uh-huh.

[00:14:08] That scene that ends this movie does pretty much personify just how much tact the movie has. Guys, it's an abomination. Like, it's really, really bad, guys. And the wait what's just pile up. And I know that we won't get to all of them. But they're haymakers in this movie. Like, left and right. You cannot sit. If you take your eyes off the screen for a minute, you're going to miss something preposterous in this film. It was really, really bad.

[00:14:37] Well, can I point out one thing? Sure. Paul, the boyfriend. Yeah. I actually, he's uber whiny. He's a total. But there's nothing wrong with the guy. But there's nothing wrong, actually, with the guy. And in a lot of ways, I'm like, I'd rather do with that than cut down a Christmas tree. And there's no shame in that. It just is weird because this, like, of all of the boyfriends that get, like, disposed in all of these movies, literally his biggest sin is he likes wine and wants to travel.

[00:15:03] Like, that's legitimately, like, there's no, I take that back. His biggest sin is when he explains what a Riesling is, he's actually wrong. And I did not know that, but I looked it up. Riesling actually did originate in Germany. And he basically says that the Riesling wine is, like, a French version of a German wine. And that's just false. Although Rieslings do grow, grapes grow all over Europe now. Well, his company's trying a new thing.

[00:15:29] But, like, legitimately, and we do get another, like, terrible engagement out of this. Like, he's like, will you marry me? And she's like, Paul. And he puts the ring on her finger. Like, what is it? Actually, can I say kudos to him? Because it takes a lot more for a girl to say no once the ring's actually on her finger. That's right. That's true. So it's like, hey. We don't want to leave it in the woman's hands for sure. He's a salesman. He gets it. He does get it. And I will say that Hallmark has changed a lot.

[00:15:57] Because this movie does not shy away from religion or politics. It's not, like, political. But, look, they're in church. They're hearing a sermon. They're around the table. They're holding hands. They're praying. Like, all of these things that are, like, when you fight, you don't have to believe in something to fight for it. Look, this is in the middle of arguing over whether we should be in Iraq, whether we should be in Afghanistan. And Ed Asner and Cody have a talk about how it doesn't matter if you believe in it. What's right is to fight for it. Like, it is the first propaganda film I've ever seen from Hallmark.

[00:16:25] And that somehow does not detract from its badness but adds to it in just this crazy way. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Wow. It's time for all the feels. When we talk about what in this movie gave us those Christians' feels, I'll start. One of Cody's first days, he goes out and he plays a little game of football with the family. First of all, not a good arm.

[00:16:52] But second of all, that scene, oddly enough, gave me those Christmas feels. Wait a minute. I know. I know. I know. Hold on. Hold on. All right. Go ahead. I remember as a kid. Now, this was mainly a Thanksgiving thing. Yeah, yeah. Turkey bowl. But it was the kickoff to the Christmas season. Going out in the backyard with my brothers and with my neighbors and playing football together. And it was like this holiday thing. And I felt that. And it was fun. And I loved it.

[00:17:21] And so for that reason, that scene gave me, despite how bad of a quarterback he was. I totally am with you that I love playing football on Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that. But when you were growing up, did you know the rules of football? I did. Because these people are just kind of running around patting heads. Well, they often tackle at times. Like sometimes it's a tackle and sometimes it's just like tack. And the person doesn't have the ball. It looked like just like a mob of people doing like a weird greet at church. You know what I mean? I didn't say it was a good game.

[00:17:52] I just said the act of football. When it started, I was like, this is going to be a great scene. And I'm like, wait a minute. I don't think these guys know how to play football. No one out there has ever played football before. Kudos to the kid, though, for catching, like the little kid for catching that ball because it was wobbly. Yeah, it was a wobbly. It was a duck. Yeah, it was a great throw. I get all the things that are wrong with it. Still worked for you. But it still worked for me. Panda? You know, actually, there were like for as much as I didn't like this film and every single time I think I don't like a film,

[00:18:20] I hear Daniel and I'm like, I think I do like the film compared to Daniel. You're welcome. So, like, I will say this film actually has given me more feels. More scenes gave me more feels than other films. That said, picking was tough. Eloquently said there. You know what? Words are hard sometimes. So here's what I'll say. Early on, Faith and Cody are in the church together and they're making eyes at one another the entire time. And he stared at her. While they're singing the carols.

[00:18:49] While they're singing the carols. Let me tell you, when I was a kid growing up in church and there was that cute girl in church, I made eyes. Like during the singing. You know, I should have been worshiping the Lord, but there were times where I was checking out the girl. Did you turn back and like shrug like you didn't know how to sing? Like it was this weird. Like she keeps turning and like her shoulders keep going up. She was doing a weird jig. It was like a weird, like a sheepish smile and a shrug. Like I'm sorry I'm in front of you and singing. It was a very weird bit. Look, I thought it was cute.

[00:19:19] I'm around it. I was like, what is she trying to portray here? It got me. Okay. It got me. Hey, reminded of those early days of flirting while trying to worship the Lord. Ooh. I didn't have any eyes back. That's true. It was just me staring at us. Still less tone deaf than this film. Somehow. Somehow. Panda making eyes at a non-existent girl in church is still more on like point than this film. Not my proudest moments.

[00:19:49] I did not have any Christmas feels. I did have a couple of like, well, I will say this. Ed Asner is a treat. I think he does a lot to save this film like Henry Winkler does. Probably not as successful, but I think Winkler's given the better material. Everything Ed Asner says has a gravitas to it that I really appreciate, even if it's not founded. Like, even if it really hasn't been earned, he says it. I'm like, yeah, Ed Asner said it. I believe it. And then this may get somebody's weight. What?

[00:20:16] But I felt the Christmas spirit being removed from me when I saw this is in that segment, Dan. That's not all the, all the feels segment is not all the feels stolen. I still felt it and I need to say it. But the trees are bare. The Christmas trees that they're cutting down don't have any needles on them and they're loading up bare Christmas trees and they're selling Charlie Brown Christmas trees. And I'm like, who is buying these trees? I don't know if I'd even support the troops with these trees. I was on my weight watts, but it's okay.

[00:20:45] It's not a great weight. They're bad trees. They're bad trees. I knew that you would pick up on that for sure. They're bad trees. But I will say this. As weird as this is, the slushy snow in this movie was a weird feels for me. Yeah. The fact that it wasn't a perfect snow, it was like a wet snow. It's a very selective snow. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes there was a lot. At one point they try to explain it because they go up into the woods and it's just covered white. Yeah. And Ed Asner, or no, Ed Asner's brother, whoever he is in the movie. Richard.

[00:21:15] Yeah, Richard. He's like, oh, when you get up here, you hit the snow. And you're like, how far do they walk? Like if we had to walk to snow right now, we'd all die. So it is selective snow for sure. 100% agree. The weight watts, I'll start with Dan. Okay. Yeah, you will. The problem here is choosing because I have so many.

[00:21:46] And I feel like the first thing I need to say is this. Cody gets credit for saving Luke and he gets room and board for that decision. He did not save Luke's life. Not at all. That car stopped. And there are two things that prove he doesn't. One, the car that's driving with reckless abandon, which you said, I think you said reckless abandonment, which wasn't. Either way, the car that's driving with reckless abandonment. I'm going to need to pause real quick and say, if you want to start doing the thing, you can do it. Can I? No. No, that's right.

[00:22:16] Nobody wants that. The car that's driving with reckless abandonment stops on a dime. Yes, it does. Anti-lock brakes could have been on a Michelin commercial, right? And second of all, Cody tackles Luke to the ground still in front of the car. Yes. The only thing he accomplished was if the car's brakes did not work, they both would have been hit. That's it. Like, he's a soldier, he's been overseas, and he basically just doubled down on killing people in that scene.

[00:22:45] And it was really, really bad. And then I've got a bunch more, but I have to go to the end of the movie where he writes the Christmas card, and then he writes them, like, I made you a gift. And he apparently, Faith's parents had this spot they go to. The magic spot. Yeah, the magic spot for 30-some years, ever since he went off to war in Vietnam and came back, and they would go there, and they would think and talk, and, you know, whatever. And he made them a bench so they could sit there. The Christmas card does this whole thing where they're like, hey, this is the card, Faith's

[00:23:14] the card that brought you back, but also I made you something, and here's a clue. Follow this map to the place you've been every day for 30 years. It's like, here's a clue to find your gift. Now see if you're sharp enough to get this one. Go to the place you've been going every day for 30 years. Yes. And they cracked the case. It's like Luke's like, I know where that is. I'm like, I hope you do. How long did they follow the map before they were like, oh, this is the magic spot. This is the magic spot. We'll go to the magic spot.

[00:23:43] I just was bewildered. I was like, why did he take the time to draw him a map? Just say, go to the spot. Do you think the map wasn't even accurate? How long has he been there? I wish he knew how to get there. This map would have been more help. I've got so many more. I'm going to try to stop there, though. I've got to do one more real quick. She's in the restaurant. He bought out the whole restaurant. And she's like, you bought out the whole restaurant for me? And he's like, yeah, get whatever you want. And she's like, all right, I'm having shrimp.

[00:24:12] Some dude has bought a whole restaurant out. And you can order anything. And you are ordering the bottom dwellers of the ocean. You can have crab cakes or scallops or lobster or steak. And you're like, man, carte blanche? I can have anything I want? Shrimp, please. I like the shrimp. One order of shrimp. You don't get what it's like to be middle America. And that is why she was better off with Luke than that snowflake. That's right. And Cody, excuse me. That's his dad. My bad.

[00:24:42] Cody, excuse me. I'll do a couple. Well, first, Paul walks in. This was towards the end of the relationship. No, it's when the night that they're going to propose, he walks in. They're cooking. And he hands her a stuffed reindeer. He said, I got this for you. Homie, you were going to propose later. Like, you don't need another gift.

[00:25:10] Not only do you not need another gift, like, if you're going to do another gift, don't get a grown woman a stuffed reindeer. Ladies, you don't like stuffed reindeer? How'd that work for that girl in church you were flirting with? Guys, not so well. It was just a very odd choice of gift. Oh, it was bad. Pre-proposal gift. But all of his gifts have something attached. Like, the thing where he shows up and then Faith is more enamored by the gift. Yes. Like, that was a weird scene, too.

[00:25:37] And I think anything with gifts, I think they're trying to make the point that he just is materialistic, but it doesn't really succeed. Not with the reindeer. He's just a weird guy. Yeah. And then my last one was that the church had a contemporary service. This is a small town. They got their traditional service at 9, and then they got the contemporary at 1030. But I don't know for sure which service they went to that Sunday morning.

[00:26:06] The pastor did not have a tie on. He didn't have a tie on. And it was Christmas carols, which I think can go either way. But I'm just interested in what the differences are in those two services and also if there's enough people in this town to go to both. Because it's the one church. There's 80 people in the town. Yeah, they make a point to tell you there's one church. So I think when there's one church in the town, you don't really got to do the old appeasing. You do not. You show up for what they're all for. Good gosh. Pannon? Well, okay.

[00:26:32] So early on in the film, you meet Jonesy, who's going to have the misfortune of being blown up. So many Jonesy questions. And he comes up to Cody, and he's like, hey, have you seen this picture of my fiance? And now he's given this picture, sent overseas. He hasn't seen his fiance in a long time. That's right. He has this picture. Yeah. And then he hands it to the sergeant and then walks away. Like, just he's like, here's a picture of my fiance. She sent it to me. Hope you enjoy it.

[00:27:03] I like to think she sent copies. No, that was creepy. But I'll tell you when it doubled down on the creep for me is, remember, he shows up in Nevada City and goes to her house. There was a linger. And she hugs him because she has a picture of him. Jonesy is trying to set up Cody and his wife. There was a very weird thing going on. I don't really know what happened with Jonesy. I think he died from loud noises. Like, they did the best that they could. There's an explosion nearby.

[00:27:32] And he passed out. I don't know how. And there's blood running down his ear. Yeah, his eardrum popped. And then he died. His equilibrium was gone. We should not be joking about the troops passing. We should have a disclaimer before this episode. Like, at the beginning. Because I'm already starting to feel bad. Well, you should. You are kind of the worst.

[00:27:56] The second thing I would mention is Cody, at one point, begins tying down various items to his truck. And one of them is a chainsaw. Which, guys, I've tied down some things on the truck. But he just literally just puts a little bit of a... Well, that's... Yeah, it was an interesting choice. Because they're bringing the chainsaws to cut down the trees. But, like, I... Like, you could have just brought them in the truck with you. You could have done that. But he doesn't really secure that bad boy. Not really.

[00:28:24] That thing's going to be flying off that truck. Somebody's going to die. Yes. I'm concerned. No, no. That was a serious safety measure or precaution that you would think would be taken by a soldier. I have one more... No, we'll go to the what the homeworks. Because I'll throw it in there. Okay. Okay. So, one, I need to understand the dots. Oh, my gosh. Okay. The dot system. I want to know how did it start?

[00:28:54] How has no one said that this is not a good system? How... This poor guy spent almost all night doing the dots. Doing the dots. Hands it to Dottie. And Dottie comes out and says, do you know what this is? And he says, it's the dots. Go check it if you want. And so she goes to check it. She could have just done it. She could have just done it. Well, also, Dottie is Faith. We didn't mention that. Right, sorry. They call Faith Dottie because they have a dot system for counting wood, which could easily just be, there are this many blocks.

[00:29:23] All you have to do is go, I counted, and there's this many. I still don't understand. So if it's five dots, it's a full block? Well, you add an extra one. So you make five, and then when you cross it through to make a block, it's actually six. From what I understood. Yeah, but... But something to do with the size of them. All I know is this. What makes a not... It was the least efficient counting system of wood that you could possibly come up with. You would have been... I just want to know the origin story.

[00:29:51] I would love to hear, if somebody could explain the dot system to me. How are we going to count all these? I got an idea. We make five, six. You know what? That's the best. You take the rest of the day off. That's that dungeon. What if we said, there's five? No, that's six. What is that? It was very confusing. Oh my goodness. You would have been better with an abacus. And there might be people out there who haven't seen the movie and are like, what are they talking about? We don't know.

[00:30:21] We don't know. We don't know. We are unsure of the dot system. It would have made a lot more sense to have a four-year-old in a crayon writing a number down. There's 300 wood blocks. That would have made more sense than the dot system. Yeah, just confused about it. And do you think they wrote all of that just so they could call her Dottie? It seems like a law word. Did the director have a daughter named Dottie? He's trying to work into the film somehow? How am I going to do this? Which her name means to be Faith.

[00:30:49] What if we made an elaborate dot system? Oh my gosh. She likes counting the dots. I mean, if you've not seen the movie, guys, we really are explaining it to the best we possibly can. I explain it as good as the movie. But if you've seen it, please get on the horn. Let us know. And maybe if you work at a wood farm. A wood farm. A lumber yard? Yeah, a lumber yard is what we're looking for. You can tell us, is the dot system... It's a tree farm. Is the...

[00:31:17] Growing a bunch of stacks of wood. Is the dot system used across the board? Is it a... Yeah, a uniform system. Yes. Uniform dot system. Saw them live. Wow. I have one more. Okay. I would like to know. So after... Either after Luke passes or when he gets to the end of his life, he's going to hand the company off to Faith. I'm interested in how the company ends up.

[00:31:46] Once it goes to Faith running the company, maybe Cody's sticking around. I'm just interested in how the company continues to go. For sure. Luke seems to really have a good handle on things with his brother. It's a real document in Christmas situation. Yeah, they're really doing good things, but Faith, and this is no offense to her, she doesn't do any of the things. She does the dot system. She does the dot system. So Luke and Luke's brother know how to do all the things. Maybe the dot system was a way to keep her employed.

[00:32:15] Well, we've got to have Faith on the payroll somehow. What if we come up with a system and make her seem like the expert? And then we can justify passing the company off to her. Yeah. I mean, I'm just interested. It was rough. As somebody who doesn't seem to know what to actually do besides the dots, I'm interested in how the company ended up. Panda? I have a couple. First of all, I want to know about the magic spot a little bit more. The magic place.

[00:32:45] Let me tell you. There's two different scenes. One where when they first pan out across the magic place, there's homes on the other side of the shore, and it's actually this very expansive lake. And then there's another scene where it's literally just a creek. I kind of want to know when the buildings were developed in the past. To get to that point. Where did that lake form? I'm just confused because it's either a creek or a lake. I'm not sure. It could have gone either way.

[00:33:14] There's some geography issues that I've got. No, it just depends on which map you follow. That's right. If you follow the map that Cody drew, you're going to get lost in a hurry. I also want to know, origin story, Uncle Richard. We haven't given that guy his due, but he's a real tree. He's a real tree. He's a real tree actor. He's really fun. He's in a ton of movies. Hallmark movies do not have enough Uncle Richard. They don't do it. We need more Uncle Richard. I legitimately found him interesting, but he also has kind of an interesting backstory.

[00:33:41] He goes, you know, they're not really joking that I'm a bit of a mess or some trouble. I'd like to know more about his past, and I wish they would have integrated that more into the overarching story. Yeah, but at the same time, they gave me just enough of him to make me really like him, but they didn't spend enough time on him to take anything away from him. He was kind of a wild card, and I think the reason he was able to get away with that is because we didn't know anything about him. But also, he's a character that doesn't exist in a 2018 Hallmark movie. Yeah. He doesn't. They just make it simpler, and he's just not around. Yeah.

[00:34:11] So there is that. And I liked him. I liked his character. I thought he added a richness to this film as much as richness could be added. Yeah. Thompson? I want to know. I would like to actually see a prequel on Faith's family because I do feel like they're a really weird family, and there are things that they do that would only make sense if they were raised in a world that was just devoid of anything outside of them. Like, for instance, they're all shag dancing to What Child Is This?

[00:34:41] At what point? And I don't know. It was a weird song choice. If you ever hear What Child Is This? Come on. Don't you immediately go, grab a partner. This is beach music. Do you ever just... At one point, Luke's wife says to Luke, like, you need a smack on the bottom? Yeah. And he says, don't get me excited. That was a really weird bit.

[00:35:05] And then also, like, I don't think, because of how Faith was raised, I don't think she sticks with Cody. I mean, she's already cheating on Paul. She's in a relationship with this guy, and emotions just take over, and she kisses Cody anyway. But her mom seems to be fine with it. Yes. Very passive. Oh, you just got caught up in the heat of the moon. Yeah. Like, at what point is your daughter old enough to where that's not an okay response? Clearly not in her 30s or whatever it was. She seemed to be late 20s.

[00:35:35] Not only that, but there's a scene in the movie where Paul goes, where she looks at Paul and goes, we never discussed leaving Nevada City. Yes, you did. At the restaurant where you ordered shrimp, of all things, they sat down, and he looks at her in the eye, and he goes, look, we can travel the world, leave out here, and come back and visit on occasion. To which she just has a weird, awkward smile and says nothing. And then the next scene, he says it again, and she goes, we never discussed leaving Nevada City. No.

[00:36:02] And at the very beginning of the film, she even was like, yeah, I think my boyfriend Paul is going to try to move away and all this stuff. Clearly they've had this conversation numerous times. I think it was fine. I think it was one of those things. I think that response was warranted. And he said it once, she let it pass, and then he says it again, and she's like, why do you keep saying that we've never talked to you? No, she didn't say why. She said we never discussed it. But that's what she meant. But they legit discussed it in the previous scene. They didn't discuss it. He brought it up. She didn't say anything.

[00:36:32] But it's not like it's news to her. That's not what she said, though. She's busy with the dot system. It's a whole thing. It keeps her busy. And last but not least, and this is something, I don't know what category this falls in, her dad says baby back pork ribs, and I don't know why you would say baby back pork ribs. That is the definition of just repeating yourself for the sake of no other reason, but you don't know. There's nothing else out there that has baby back ribs. No, baby back ribs are pork only, not beef. Are you sure? I'm positive.

[00:37:00] Send in your corrections to deckthehomeworkpodcast at gmail.com. Please do it. Deckthehomeworkpodcast. Also, let us know about the dot system. Please. Those are a couple emails. Legitimately want to know about the dot system. But I will say this. Hallmark viewers and listeners of our podcast are good to correct us on stuff. They corrected us on something from Truly Madly Sweetie. They were completely right. That is true. The phone number? They were completely right on that. What happened? How did I miss this? The phone number on the napkin that we didn't know where it came from, she actually wrote that down. She said she would cover his dry cleaning. So she wrote down her phone number. We missed it. True story.

[00:37:30] So they'll correct me. Now, speaking of emails, we're going to end the show today with a quick segment that we're calling Mailbag. Mailbag. Santa's Mailbag. Okay. Did that ruin it? It did a little. We can edit it out in place. It's where we get emails and we answer them on the air. Beautiful. So this was the one that's from a guy named Dan. And what's the email address that people can send these to? Oh, I thought you were asking. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to read out Dan's email. This is deckthehallmarkpodcast at gmail.com. Deckthehallmarkpodcast at gmail.com.

[00:38:00] Got it. You can also slide into our DMs if you want to do it that way. Okay. This one says, hello, Bran, Panda, and Dan. I love the podcast. I'm curious, what do you guys think about the reoccurring big city versus small town themes in these Hallmark movies? Thank you, Dan. I believe what he's trying to get to here is similar to what you saw in this movie. Where you see a small town and these people are all very close knit. And then you got Paul, who's the big city guy, and he is the bad guy. Big city people are bad.

[00:38:30] Always bad. Yes. Small town people are good. In every movie. Rocky Mountain Christmas, Switch for Christmas. They're always bad. So, one, what do you guys think about that? And two, how accurate is it? Well, we can take this as a very serious question or as a very fun question because I think I answered it in my hot take, but it is absurd how often they go to this well. Like, the people from the big city just don't have a soul. Right. They don't get middle America, and they don't understand how Christmas is really done.

[00:38:57] At one point in Let It Snow, Alan Thicke's like, our demographic are people that don't like Christmas. Right, right, right. It is, like, I guess that's the easiest way for them to create a fake, like, straw man villain that we all know doesn't exist. And it's such an interesting thing, too, because they're constantly, like, big town people don't like Christmas. But, like, what is the most Christmas-y place? Rockefeller Center. Exactly. New York. New York City. Easy. And they do play to that sometimes.

[00:39:26] Like, Hallmark will occasionally do the big city gig, do they not? They do do the big city gig, but they always get away from the big city. That's right. Is it every time? Pretty much. Is there a film that takes place in the big city? Guys, and maybe, emails. Dectolmerpodcast.gmail.com. If you can tell us a movie where maybe sometime from a small town says, you know what, I really need to go to New York City. I've got to get out of this town with two services at the church, one contemporary. I've got to go to the big city. I really need to go to New York for some Christmas spirit. I've got to be honest. We live in South Carolina.

[00:39:54] Some of the, look, I'm from a small town in South Carolina. Born and raised, have people that still live there that I love dearly. Some small towns in South Carolina you don't want to go to. They're not all great. The amount of small towns in America that look like a Hallmark movie at Christmas time are few and far in between. Yeah, that's true. No, my grandparents live in a relatively small town in South Carolina, and they do have lights that stay up all year that they cut on at Christmas. And that's what it reminds me of. Having said that, the people in that town are not all like the people in these movies.

[00:40:23] But I also would say this is one of the things that makes Hallmark really great is they play off of a nostalgia that, to be perfectly honest, sometimes never existed to begin with. And this is, we're diving into deeper waters here, but you're 100% right. Right. Like, if you can play off this idea that at one point everyone was in Mayberry, sipping on an ice cold cherry Coke, and just everything was great. Or some of that lemonade Andrew Walker was drinking. Yeah. And everybody was doing that, and they're all were great. That's just not true about the history of our country or really anywhere.

[00:40:53] However, also, Hallmark knows their demographic. 100%. Look, 5 million people watch these movies on a regular basis. There's only like 300,000 people in Wyoming. So, like, they can cover pretty much all of that middle America ground, and then the people that watch them in the big cities, they know the joke. And if I'm being real, it still gives me the feels every friggin' time. Every dang time. No, at some point, like, I would like to be in New York for Christmas. I think that'd be cool. Like, I think that'd be neat. That's great. And it's weird that they would avoid that. Yeah.

[00:41:22] So fervently. But they know their audience. And I will say that it's evident that their audience is evolving based upon 2018 versus 2006. Yes. Because the stuff in 2006, they would not fly this year in Christmas movies. It's important to know there are some movies where the people don't leave. So there are some movies where they are in big cities, but they just don't play to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, not all of them, not every movie takes place in a small town. There was a movie last year. Truly Madly Sweetly. Yeah. But that's not a Christmas movie. Right. But there was a movie last year that took place in Chicago. Chicago.

[00:41:52] They didn't leave Chicago, but they just didn't play into this. It wasn't a small town thing. It was just like, it just was a one. The characters never get swept up in the big city Christmas. Well, Switch for Christmas, I thought, did an okay job of playing to the city. They showed that the city part was still an integral part. Like, they had the city Christmas versus the country Christmas. But the dad, Jerry Van Dyke's dad can't drive the 12 miles to Denver. Yeah, the whole point was like, oh, I forgot how much I loved Christmas. Yeah. I came back to the small town. I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah. Okay. Point made.

[00:42:22] Whatever. Send us a, that's Stan's mailbag. You can send us a... Please do. That was fun. Yeah. I didn't know we were doing that. I didn't know either. Dan, we like you for sending that. Yep. Thanks, Dan. Thanks, Dan. So do what Dan does. And then two more things real fast. We are on this week's episode of Lifetime Uncorked. Now, quick word of caution. It is a not safe for work language podcast. Not by Dan and I. No, no, no. We are as squeaky clean as ever. We are as squeaky clean as we are here, as we are there. For sure.

[00:42:49] But if you listen, if you tune in, because Brian and I are on that, we had a blast, but it is definitely R-rated, just so you know. So don't dive in and think you're going to get what you get here. Yeah. Next week, we're going to be tackling our very last movie. It's the last movie. It is falling for you. We get a little breather. We get a little breather, and we're going to do the following week. It's going to be a preview episode. We're going to walk through the movies, say which ones we're most excited about. Maybe a special guest. Maybe a special guest. And last but not least, we're going to be on an episode of The Bubbly Sesh.

[00:43:18] We're excited to join those gals. Oh, yeah. Super excited. So be on the lookout for that. And I think that's all we got, guys. Man. Hey, rate, review us on iTunes, 100 before Halloween, Instagram, Twitter, all the things that you can do for us. Thank you so much. The response has been overwhelming, and I can't tell you how much it means. You give us all the feels. You really do. That's a great – that's a good way to go about it. Thanks. And guys, troops, thank you for serving. No, thank you for – that's accurate. Thank you for your service. This movie does not do justice for what you guys do.

[00:43:44] We kind of took a beating, and I need to say that this nation is great because we're free, and we're free because of sacrifice, and that's very important. God bless the USA. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep, here they are. Happy day.