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Mia is driving the struggle bus. Chips in bed. Toothpaste barely there. Bringing store-bought cookies to work. It's tough out there. She is a webpage editor for the Seattle Tourism Board, and she’s just working so hard, as webpage editors for tourism boards do.
She runs home in the rain and finds a dog stuck in the fence. She frees the dog, and the dog follows her home. She reluctantly invites the dog in, and they eat dinner together. The next day, she goes to the shelter to check if the dog has a microchip. The owner, Max, is not helpful, so she leaves—but her dog, who she names Russell, takes a liking to one of the dogs at the shelter.
She takes Russell to the dog park, and Russell sees that other dog there. They start playing, and Mia records a video of them. The video goes viral.
This makes Max really upset. But Mia asks Max if she can record more videos. He says no way at first, but then he realizes it’s free publicity, and he needs all the help he can get.
He comes over to check out her place to dog-proof it, and obviously, help decorate for Christmas. They go on a hike together, and everything is going great. But when she tells him he’s being too mean to his dog, he tells her to scram.
He realizes he goofed, and they agree to continue working together for the sake of the dog.
It turns out Mia used to be a doctor. Her parents show up to try to convince her to take over the family practice.
Another curveball: Max’s ex-girlfriend shows up after seeing all the buzz, which makes Mia jealous. But when she finds out that Max’s shelter is going under, they decide to work together and put on a fundraiser for dogs. It’s a smash success but doesn’t raise enough. Luckily, Mia isn’t a doctor anymore, but her parents are, and they have money, so they write a check and save the day.
Mia tells her parents she wants to be a doctor again, but not the kind they expected. She wants to be a vet.
They both realize they miss each other and show up, and they kiss.
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[00:00:00] What do you mean?
[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Brian and I love Hallmark Christmas movies.
[00:00:06] I'm Brian and I like Hallmark Christmas movies.
[00:00:08] I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies.
[00:00:11] I'm Dave and I would prefer to be baking a chocolate frangipan bundt cake than watch anything on Crown Media.
[00:00:20] And this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast.
[00:00:23] Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast.
[00:00:27] My friends host this podcast.
[00:00:33] We hope you like this jolly podcast.
[00:00:40] Oh boy, what a treat.
[00:00:42] This is it.
[00:00:43] What a treat this is.
[00:00:44] It's Christmas Eve.
[00:00:46] It's Christmas Eve.
[00:00:47] It's the final Christmas movie of the year.
[00:00:50] It's Dave White.
[00:00:51] I mean, it's all happening in one episode.
[00:00:54] Can you believe that?
[00:00:54] This is a lot.
[00:00:55] What better way to spend your Christmas Eve than with us, Dave?
[00:00:58] I agree.
[00:01:00] Yes.
[00:01:00] We know.
[00:01:01] And you watched the movie.
[00:01:02] I love you guys.
[00:01:03] And I did watch this movie.
[00:01:06] Yes.
[00:01:06] Now, this is a-
[00:01:07] You can confirm.
[00:01:08] Don't just say it if you didn't do it.
[00:01:10] I, I, I, I, listen.
[00:01:12] I, yesterday I spent most of the day at a surgical center in Beverly Hills with a friend who was having a procedure done.
[00:01:19] And they gave him opioid medication to, for the pain.
[00:01:23] And he, he popped one.
[00:01:25] He was in our recliner kind of recovering a bit.
[00:01:28] And, uh, he popped one and about halfway through the movie, he started doing this to me like, yeah, man.
[00:01:34] And, uh,
[00:01:35] Movie was really hitting.
[00:01:36] Giving me the hang loose.
[00:01:38] And I was like, I wonder what your experience of this film is like compared to mine.
[00:01:44] I thought he was going to ask for more drugs.
[00:01:47] I thought that was the thing that was going to happen there.
[00:01:49] I was stark raving sober the entire time.
[00:01:52] Oh boy.
[00:01:53] Yeah.
[00:01:54] This is a tradition now.
[00:01:55] It is a tradition.
[00:01:55] If there's a, an animal movie, Dave White joins us, but it's also, uh, an important movie because you covered alongside Alonzo, the finding Mr. Christmas show.
[00:02:05] Yeah.
[00:02:06] And he did a wonderful time rave reviews.
[00:02:08] Have you heard the reviews rave reviews?
[00:02:10] I have not, you know, a journalist doesn't have to pay attention to these things.
[00:02:14] And that's, that's what I was in the role of as I watched finding Mr. Christmas alongside Alonzo Duralde.
[00:02:20] We were, we were excavating the truth.
[00:02:23] That's right.
[00:02:23] This reality competition.
[00:02:26] I'm fascinated as to if the fact that you tell me what the reviews are anyway.
[00:02:30] Sorry.
[00:02:32] Rave reviews.
[00:02:33] We were just hounded.
[00:02:35] Thank you.
[00:02:36] Hounded at Christmas con with people going, we love Dave and Alonzo on the finding Mr. Christmas recaps.
[00:02:42] I'm fascinated Dave to see how the fact that, you know, you seen Ezra's journey.
[00:02:47] Yes.
[00:02:48] From, from nobody.
[00:02:50] Yes.
[00:02:50] Nobody on the silver screen.
[00:02:52] Yes.
[00:02:53] Will affect your opinion of the movie or if it does at all.
[00:02:57] It does not.
[00:02:59] Fair.
[00:03:00] Now spoiler.
[00:03:01] It does not, does not affect my, my feelings at all.
[00:03:04] Got it.
[00:03:04] Now as someone who's not a watcher, uh, voluntarily of these movies, um, was finding Mr. Christmas
[00:03:12] eye opening for you?
[00:03:14] Was it, uh, maybe a gateway drug, if you will, into falling in love with these movies, uh,
[00:03:19] like Alonzo or was it, uh, was it really, was it really hard to do the opposite?
[00:03:26] I, you know, so, okay, let's, let's get clear this up right now.
[00:03:31] I do volunteer annually to watch one of these films, uh, because I think y'all are fantastic.
[00:03:41] I mean, God bless you.
[00:03:42] And, and so that is, that is, uh, no one's dragging me kicking and screaming into this.
[00:03:49] I hate it, but, uh, but I volunteer for it.
[00:03:56] So what I got from watching, finding Mr. Christmas was the understanding that Jonathan Bennett is the boss wherever he goes.
[00:04:10] Yeah.
[00:04:10] I, as a gay, as a gay, I'm here to support team gay.
[00:04:16] And, and he is proving from his hosting ability of that show and like being on the Macy's parade and everything that was like, I also, when I said this on one of the recaps, we were like, watch out Ryan Seacrest.
[00:04:30] You're going to get pushed down the stairs, like in show girls.
[00:04:33] That is, and I'm not saying that Jonathan Bennett is going to, is going to do something violent.
[00:04:38] Oh, he'll pay someone to do that.
[00:04:39] But that man should be, that dude should be hosting everything.
[00:04:44] Like he was the selling point of finding Mr. Christmas.
[00:04:49] Cause it just felt like sort of like a game of musical chairs, the whole thing, watching the whole thing.
[00:04:54] I was like, yeah, I don't, I don't have anything invested in who stays or goes here.
[00:04:58] Like they could all fit into the hallmark, you know, uh, uh, template with, with varying degrees of blandness or talent.
[00:05:08] And so, and it doesn't really matter from film to film because hallmark movies, the snippets that I've seen as I wander through the living room, sneer and say profane things that I could never say on this, uh, wonderful podcast.
[00:05:23] Um, I, I, if, if there's a good, good ish one that happens, it's not like the, the parent company learns a lesson from the good ones.
[00:05:34] And says, ah, yes, let's make more of these now they will turn out the very next week and give you like a steaming pile the very next week.
[00:05:42] And so, and it doesn't matter who's in them.
[00:05:45] Like you can have perfectly capable actors or people who just look good and the material can be good or the material can be bad.
[00:05:54] And it's all just sort of like this flat line, you know?
[00:06:00] So, so no, the short answer to your question, I will come back next year for my one.
[00:06:08] I love it.
[00:06:10] And no matter what Alonzo Duralde says, I will not be looking at anything else.
[00:06:15] Yeah.
[00:06:15] I love that Dave White said they can give you a decent movie and then the next week can give you a pile acting like we don't have to watch these every day.
[00:06:23] Like there's not four a weekend.
[00:06:25] Like one a week sounds great, Dave.
[00:06:29] Right.
[00:06:30] No, I'm, I'm, I'm aware that you guys are like, uh, drowning.
[00:06:34] Yeah.
[00:06:35] And for that, I am sorry.
[00:06:37] I'm very sorry about that.
[00:06:39] I wonder what he thought of the movie.
[00:06:41] Uh, well, uh, let's, let's find out.
[00:06:46] Let's find out.
[00:06:47] Let's talk about happy holidays.
[00:06:49] Our final Hallmark Christmas movie of the year.
[00:06:51] It originally aired on the Hallmark channel on December 21st, 2024.
[00:06:55] And, uh, also a few days early on Hallmark plus.
[00:06:59] They just threw it out there.
[00:07:00] Just threw it out there.
[00:07:00] It's almost like they're not confident in it or very confident.
[00:07:03] I don't know.
[00:07:04] We're a little something like this.
[00:07:05] Uh, Mia is driving the struggle bus chips in bed, toothpaste, barely there.
[00:07:11] Bring in store-bought cookies to work.
[00:07:14] It's tough out there.
[00:07:15] Could you drink that water?
[00:07:16] That was so loud.
[00:07:17] Oh my gosh.
[00:07:18] Good God, man.
[00:07:18] We got a professional here.
[00:07:20] What are you doing?
[00:07:21] Gosh.
[00:07:21] Um, she is a webpage editor and social media person for the Seattle Tourism Board.
[00:07:29] And she is just working so hard as those type of folks do for the tourism boards.
[00:07:36] Uh, she runs home in the rain and finds a dog stuck in a fence.
[00:07:41] She frees the dog and the dog follows her home as dogs are prone to do.
[00:07:46] Uh, she reluctantly invites the dog in and they eat dinner together.
[00:07:51] The next day, uh, she, she goes, what just happened?
[00:07:56] What did just happen?
[00:07:57] Huh?
[00:07:58] Uh, the next day she goes to the shelter to check if the dog has a microchip.
[00:08:03] The owner, Max, is not helpful.
[00:08:06] So, uh, she leaves, but her dog, who she names Russell, uh, takes a liking to one of the dogs
[00:08:14] at the shelter.
[00:08:15] So, she takes Russell to the dog park and Russell sees the other dog is there.
[00:08:21] They begin to play and she records a video of them playing and the video of dogs playing
[00:08:28] goes viral.
[00:08:30] Uh, this makes Max really mad.
[00:08:32] He's very mad about this because he did not give consent for his dog to be recorded.
[00:08:39] But Mia asked Max if she can record more videos consensually.
[00:08:43] He says no way at first, but then he realizes that it's free publicity and he needs all the
[00:08:48] help that he can get because the shelter is going through a tough time.
[00:08:51] He comes over to check out her place to dog proof it.
[00:08:56] And obviously that leads to him helping her decorate for Christmas because he can't do
[00:09:00] one without the other.
[00:09:01] They go on a hike together, see waterfall and everything is going great.
[00:09:07] But when she tells him that he's being too mean to the dog, he tells her to scram, get, get.
[00:09:15] Uh, he realizes that he goofed.
[00:09:17] Maybe he was a little too harsh or maybe that's just the way that he is.
[00:09:20] Um, and they agree to continue working together for the sake of the dogs.
[00:09:25] Uh, it turns out that Mia, it turns out that Mia used to be a doctor.
[00:09:31] Her parents show up to try to convince her to try to convince her to try to convince her to take over the family practice because she used to be a doctor.
[00:09:44] Another curveball, Max's girlfriend shows up after seeing all the buzz on the social media, which makes Mia jealous.
[00:09:52] But when she finds out that Max's shelter is going under, they decide to work together to throw a fundraiser once again for the dogs.
[00:10:00] It's a smash success, but it doesn't raise enough money.
[00:10:04] Luckily, Mia isn't a doctor anymore, but her parents still are.
[00:10:08] So they have the money and they write a check to save the day.
[00:10:12] Mia then tells her parents that she wants to be a doctor again, but not the kind that they want her to be.
[00:10:17] She wants to be a vet, an animal doctor.
[00:10:21] Six of one and a half dozen of the other.
[00:10:23] Thank you for your service.
[00:10:24] They, uh, realize, uh, her and Max, they realize that they miss each other.
[00:10:28] Miss each other, they show up and they're like, hey, missed you.
[00:10:32] And then you want to do the thing that we were going to do earlier in the movie?
[00:10:37] And they're like, yeah.
[00:10:38] And so then they kiss and he picks her up and they spin.
[00:10:42] And that, my friends, was happy holidays.
[00:10:48] We did it.
[00:10:51] Well, let's do this.
[00:10:52] Let's take a break.
[00:10:53] We'll come back.
[00:10:53] We'll break this movie down.
[00:10:54] We'll share our thoughts on happy holidays.
[00:10:57] The final Hallmark Christmas movie of the year until when we get back here on.
[00:11:02] Oh, I got caught in the ochres there.
[00:11:08] Dan, I'm excited that we are sponsored by Joanie this holiday season because they make sustainable period care accessible to everyone who needs it.
[00:11:17] And that was something, Dan, that I didn't know was an issue for a long time.
[00:11:21] And now that I'm aware of it, I'm so thrilled that we have found Joanie because what they're doing is incredible.
[00:11:26] They make period care available to everybody and they've donated over 700,000 products to nonprofit partners both here in the U.S. and in Canada.
[00:11:35] That's exactly right, Bran.
[00:11:36] I've learned so much.
[00:11:37] And with Joanie Pads, you're never compromising quality and comfort for a sustainable option.
[00:11:42] In fact, you're getting a quality product that is good for you, your body, and our communities through their 5% give back program.
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[00:12:03] Amazing.
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[00:12:07] That's exactly right, Dano.
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[00:12:14] We're talking about period care.
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[00:12:42] Welcome back to Brian Does ASMR.
[00:12:45] Brian?
[00:12:46] Go ahead, Brian.
[00:12:48] Ooh, tingles.
[00:12:50] It tingles.
[00:12:51] It's good.
[00:12:52] It worked for Dave, I can tell.
[00:12:53] It worked.
[00:12:54] Dave loves that stuff.
[00:12:55] Found it.
[00:12:55] I know, yeah.
[00:12:56] I love it.
[00:12:58] Alonzo has Hallmark.
[00:12:59] Dave has ASMR videos.
[00:13:00] That's right.
[00:13:01] Let's break this movie down.
[00:13:03] We're going to start with a hot take.
[00:13:04] We're going to share our thoughts on this movie.
[00:13:05] We're not going to hold back.
[00:13:06] I'll start with you, Brian.
[00:13:08] Because why not?
[00:13:09] Because let's start with a softball.
[00:13:10] What'd you think about-
[00:13:11] I'm thrilled for this hot take.
[00:13:12] What'd you think about Happy Holidays?
[00:13:15] I kind of liked it a little bit.
[00:13:17] I didn't despise it.
[00:13:20] Are you kidding me?
[00:13:23] Kind of.
[00:13:23] This is a bit.
[00:13:24] You're doing this on purpose.
[00:13:26] I think this was a good movie for Mr. Christmas to star in.
[00:13:30] Because the star, the real stars of this were the dogs.
[00:13:34] This is crazy.
[00:13:36] Jussel was the stars.
[00:13:38] Jussel?
[00:13:39] Yeah, Team Jussel.
[00:13:41] That's right.
[00:13:41] Team Jussel.
[00:13:41] The dogs were great.
[00:13:42] They were a lot of fun.
[00:13:43] So it didn't matter.
[00:13:44] Give them the portmanteau all the time.
[00:13:47] It didn't matter who else-
[00:13:50] What else was going on.
[00:13:51] All I wanted to do was watch these pups hang out.
[00:13:53] And I got to do that a lot.
[00:13:54] There was a lot.
[00:13:56] Ezra?
[00:13:57] I thought he did a shoulder job.
[00:14:01] I'm sorry.
[00:14:01] A stand-up job.
[00:14:02] A shoulder job?
[00:14:04] In his pectoral-
[00:14:05] He did his shoulder-
[00:14:06] Yeah.
[00:14:07] This is embarrassing.
[00:14:08] His pectoral debut.
[00:14:11] He is so fit for these movies.
[00:14:15] The guy-
[00:14:16] Are you kidding me right now with this guy?
[00:14:18] Yeah.
[00:14:18] But like you said, like you guys talked about on your show, Dave, in a lap.
[00:14:21] Guy was just created for-
[00:14:23] He looks great in these movies.
[00:14:24] A few more acting gigs and won't even know that he won a reality show and he's just starting.
[00:14:31] Like, I thought he was fine.
[00:14:32] The dogs, really great use of the dogs in this movie.
[00:14:35] So I guess I kind of-
[00:14:37] Like, not very Christmassy.
[00:14:38] That was one knock against it.
[00:14:39] Not super Christmassy.
[00:14:41] So could he use a little more of that?
[00:14:42] It felt just like Seattle, like Pacific Northwest-ish.
[00:14:47] But I guess I kind of liked it a little bit.
[00:14:49] All right.
[00:14:50] You're fired.
[00:14:50] Dave, you have the most experience with Ezra.
[00:14:53] You're fired.
[00:14:54] So let's see.
[00:14:55] You just don't even let the door hit you.
[00:14:57] What'd you think about Happy Holidays, Dave?
[00:15:00] There's a lot of urine in this movie.
[00:15:04] Yes.
[00:15:04] And I found that intermittently entertaining because Jessica Landis would occasionally, well, not occasionally, routinely, step into puddles of yellow liquid on her rug while wearing socks.
[00:15:22] And every time she did that, I would think, ha, ha, ha, you're dumb.
[00:15:30] And because you live in the house, right?
[00:15:32] And you can see it.
[00:15:33] It's a white carpet.
[00:15:34] And you can see it.
[00:15:36] And you're just going to walk right through it anyway.
[00:15:40] Anyway, that's what I think about this movie.
[00:15:42] There's a lot of urine in this movie.
[00:15:45] There's also some boring animals in this movie.
[00:15:49] They're very attractive animals.
[00:15:51] They're very cute animals.
[00:15:54] I like both of these dogs to look at them.
[00:15:57] If I weren't completely allergic, I would have pet them.
[00:16:01] But I could never do that.
[00:16:03] I can only admire them from afar.
[00:16:05] However, having said that about their attractiveness, I do wish that they had trained them to do something cute in a video that would ostensibly become a viral video.
[00:16:17] Because the viral videos that we see in this movie are like, oh, look, it's two dogs sitting next to each other and occasionally touching each other's snouts with their own.
[00:16:29] And this sets Seattle on fire.
[00:16:33] This makes everybody excited.
[00:16:35] And like Brian said, they portmanteau their names and become invested in this little doggy romance.
[00:16:43] And I've seen a lot of cute doggy and kitty videos on the internet because, as I just said, I can't go near them.
[00:16:51] I can only love them on the internet.
[00:16:54] And so just this morning, the friend who was watching it with me while taking opioid painkillers sent me videos of kittens frolicking with horses.
[00:17:05] That is a good video, right?
[00:17:09] These dogs make boring videos.
[00:17:11] And then they pee on rugs.
[00:17:13] Then they urinate on the rug.
[00:17:15] So that is what I think about this film.
[00:17:17] Why am I here?
[00:17:19] Why did I watch this?
[00:17:20] I love that Dave put it on the TV box.
[00:17:23] Dave White, ha, ha, ha, you're dumb.
[00:17:26] That's it.
[00:17:27] That's it.
[00:17:29] That's the takeaway.
[00:17:30] Oh, well, first of all, congratulations to us.
[00:17:33] We did.
[00:17:34] We did.
[00:17:34] We finished all the movies.
[00:17:36] That's how you know right there.
[00:17:36] It's always a momentous occasion and we love it.
[00:17:39] I had a lot of fun watching this movie.
[00:17:43] I laughed a lot at this movie.
[00:17:45] And I don't know if that was goal of movie, but I did laugh and I did have fun.
[00:17:55] And I just want to say to echo what Brian said, what happens when he took his shirt off is going to be talked about for years to come.
[00:18:10] It is the most, the only word I can think of right now is egregious use of no search that I've seen in one of these movies.
[00:18:20] They knew what they had with Ezra based off of the cute puppy animal photo shoot that they did in Finding Mr. Christmas.
[00:18:28] And they said, we got to work this in somehow.
[00:18:30] And did they find a good way?
[00:18:33] Oh, I don't know.
[00:18:35] But they did it.
[00:18:36] And we're going to be talking about it for a long time.
[00:18:39] So if that is Ezra's legacy, that he was in a movie with dog and he took his shirt off.
[00:18:47] What a legacy it is.
[00:18:49] And so we tip our hat to you, Mr.
[00:18:51] Finding Christmas.
[00:18:52] You did it.
[00:18:54] Congratulations.
[00:18:54] Congratulations.
[00:18:55] I don't, I don't think that I just, this is my feeling as somebody who has interviewed a lot of Hallmark actors who have worked a really long time to do this thing.
[00:19:07] I, I, I don't want them to lose their jobs to reality TV winners.
[00:19:13] It rubs me the wrong way and it bums me out for them.
[00:19:17] And so for that reason, I don't want to do this again.
[00:19:19] But dadgummit, did I have a good time?
[00:19:22] It was real fun.
[00:19:24] Dan?
[00:19:24] Not since Bogart and Bacall have we seen the chemistry of the, of two stars light up the screen in the way we've seen Ezra, no last name and Jessica Lowndes.
[00:19:38] Guys, this movie, I don't like, I'm trying my best to sit still right now.
[00:19:44] This is an absolute travesty.
[00:19:47] I, I, I watched 30 minutes of Finding Mr. Christmas.
[00:19:51] I agree with everything Brand said.
[00:19:52] We know a lot of actual actors and I'm sure this Ezra guy is a nice guy.
[00:19:57] I'm sure he's a nice guy.
[00:19:59] I watched 30 minutes of Finding Mr.
[00:20:00] Christmas.
[00:20:01] I want my time back.
[00:20:02] There was one actor that was competing to win this prize.
[00:20:09] And in the 30 minutes I watched, he was the only one that could act and they did not give it to him.
[00:20:17] They instead tried to find a replacement for Ryan Pavey.
[00:20:21] This movie is virtually unwatchable.
[00:20:25] It is terrible.
[00:20:28] It is.
[00:20:29] Guys, I like the attractiveness of our leads needs to be talked about.
[00:20:36] Jessica Lounds.
[00:20:37] For generations.
[00:20:38] Very attractive.
[00:20:39] Ezra, no last name.
[00:20:41] Very attractive.
[00:20:42] Shirtless scene.
[00:20:44] My goodness.
[00:20:44] This guy.
[00:20:46] But holy cow.
[00:20:48] We are treated to lines of dialogue and scenes where actors cannot do two things at once.
[00:20:55] So it's like, I'm going to scratch my ear and then deliver a line.
[00:20:59] One at a time, please.
[00:21:01] It's a single file line here.
[00:21:03] Everybody's going to get their turn.
[00:21:05] Do this.
[00:21:06] Then deliver your line.
[00:21:07] Know what?
[00:21:08] It is.
[00:21:09] It's an abomination.
[00:21:10] The dogs have more training as actors than most people do that are involved in this movie.
[00:21:17] They're good boys.
[00:21:17] Very good boys.
[00:21:19] It was an impossible watch.
[00:21:21] And not only that, Bran, who's being kind because it's who he is in his heart.
[00:21:26] And Brian mentioned it.
[00:21:28] It's barely a Christmas movie.
[00:21:32] There's no Christmas to speak of.
[00:21:34] They're asking dogs to do the work of Atlas in this movie.
[00:21:40] Like they are asking dogs to carry the world.
[00:21:43] And I love dogs more than anyone that I know.
[00:21:47] And I'm telling you right now, this is one of the worst Hallmark Christmas movies I've ever seen.
[00:21:53] Bar none.
[00:21:54] It's the worst of this year.
[00:21:56] Bar none.
[00:21:57] There is no, I don't have a comparison.
[00:22:00] Because any other movie that we watched had capable leads.
[00:22:05] And I'm sorry.
[00:22:07] I'm sorry.
[00:22:08] Aaron Shea, producer Aaron Shea, also doing Yeoman's work.
[00:22:11] Showed me pictures of Ezra and Jessica offset hanging out videos.
[00:22:15] And they looked like they had great chemistry off camera.
[00:22:18] They looked like they were buddies off camera.
[00:22:22] Not the case on screen.
[00:22:25] This movie's tough.
[00:22:26] It's tough.
[00:22:27] And we have 40 of these.
[00:22:29] I know it's a lot, but I'd love to see an established actor get another shot.
[00:22:33] Get another crack at it.
[00:22:35] May I?
[00:22:36] Please.
[00:22:36] May I respond to what you just said?
[00:22:39] Yeah.
[00:22:39] First, well, his last name is Morland.
[00:22:42] Great.
[00:22:42] Ezra Morland.
[00:22:43] Got it.
[00:22:43] I know because I watched Finding Mr. Christmas.
[00:22:46] That's right.
[00:22:48] Also, Finding Mr. Christmas season one.
[00:22:53] Analogous.
[00:22:54] This makes him the Kelly Clarkson of Finding Mr. Christmas.
[00:22:59] Oh my gosh.
[00:22:59] And so, I've watched enough little clips of other Hallmark movies to think to myself, he was as whatever as any other man that I've seen in a Hallmark movie.
[00:23:17] But most importantly, what I have to ask all three of you as heterosexual men, what is it about men taking off their shirts and being super ripped that makes straight guys go wild?
[00:23:31] Because he took his shirt off and I sat here thinking, yeah, I don't care.
[00:23:39] I don't care about that.
[00:23:40] The gay media is awash in abdominal muscles.
[00:23:45] We are immune to it.
[00:23:50] I see this kind of body and I think, yeah, yeah, move along.
[00:23:53] There's another one coming around the corner.
[00:23:54] Like, I don't care.
[00:23:55] But what I super really find entertaining is when a super fit dude takes off a shirt and straight guys go, wow, oh my God.
[00:24:04] Like, they get excited.
[00:24:05] And I think that's wonderful.
[00:24:07] That makes it kind of Christmas for me right now.
[00:24:09] Oh, there's Christmas for you.
[00:24:10] It's a lot of work.
[00:24:11] The amount of work it would take to look like that is crazy.
[00:24:15] I just, you got to respect the game.
[00:24:18] Oh, yeah, you have to suffer.
[00:24:20] You are a suffering person if you have a body like that.
[00:24:23] You're not happy.
[00:24:24] That guy hasn't seen his family in years.
[00:24:26] No, he hasn't seen a piece of bread in ages.
[00:24:28] You're hungry all the time.
[00:24:29] Yeah.
[00:24:30] It's not fun.
[00:24:31] Yeah.
[00:24:32] But, you know, it's a job.
[00:24:34] But also, we've watched a thousand of these movies, 980 of them of which people aren't allowed to take their shirts off him.
[00:24:41] So I think that's part of the new territory.
[00:24:43] Is this considered, is this considered, you guys have watched all these.
[00:24:47] I've watched barely any of them.
[00:24:49] Is this considered racy?
[00:24:51] You know, is this considered a horny moment?
[00:24:54] That was the rate as race.
[00:24:56] Like, because he takes his shirt off and then you see the camera angle from behind him.
[00:25:01] And he says, what do you want me to do with this?
[00:25:04] When he says that, that doesn't happen in Hallmark movies.
[00:25:09] It just fundamentally doesn't happen in Hallmark movies.
[00:25:12] And there's that.
[00:25:13] That's very funny to me.
[00:25:13] And I will say, as a bit of a caveat, like, I'm sure Ezra's a nice guy.
[00:25:18] And I also am sure that the first time Ryan Pavey was in a Hallmark movie, he probably was just reading lines.
[00:25:24] And then he got better over the time.
[00:25:26] So when I give this, like, scathing review of the movie, this guy's never acted before.
[00:25:33] I'm not blaming him.
[00:25:35] Okay.
[00:25:37] There was an entire machine that chose him over an actual actor.
[00:25:43] And then threw him into a movie immediately with no training.
[00:25:47] This is not Ezra Moreland's fault.
[00:25:50] I want to be very clear on that.
[00:25:53] I think he's got a future in Hallmark films.
[00:25:56] And there's going to be an acting coach show up.
[00:25:58] Yeah.
[00:25:59] And some classes and whatever.
[00:26:00] And you're going to see him improve.
[00:26:05] Because they're not letting go of that body, yaddy, yaddy.
[00:26:08] Yeah.
[00:26:09] At all.
[00:26:09] Yes, of course.
[00:26:09] They're going to keep, they're keeping him on the team.
[00:26:12] Yeah.
[00:26:13] So, yeah.
[00:26:13] You're going to watch him improve.
[00:26:15] I will not watch him improve.
[00:26:17] You guys will.
[00:26:18] Yeah.
[00:26:19] Of course.
[00:26:20] So you'd rather come back for next year's pet movie over the next year's Ezra movie.
[00:26:24] Is that what you're saying?
[00:26:25] That is correct.
[00:26:26] Okay, great.
[00:26:27] It's time for all the feels where we talk about one of the few games.
[00:26:29] Feels of any sort.
[00:26:31] Brian?
[00:26:31] It was just the dogs.
[00:26:33] Just seeing dogs.
[00:26:35] And, you know, them having a good time.
[00:26:37] I was inspired to, I made a donation to the Humane Society here in Greenville.
[00:26:42] Because I was thinking, you know what?
[00:26:43] This is great.
[00:26:43] Shut up.
[00:26:43] Let's adopt pets.
[00:26:45] Let's not shop for the pets.
[00:26:46] I love that.
[00:26:47] And so I was kind of inspired.
[00:26:49] I know.
[00:26:49] Yeah.
[00:26:50] That's what it's all about.
[00:26:50] So let's keep that going.
[00:26:52] That's right.
[00:26:53] Dave, any feels for you?
[00:26:55] Yes.
[00:26:56] I have one feeling about this.
[00:26:59] Aside from ha-ha, you're dumb?
[00:27:01] Aside from ha-ha, you're dumb.
[00:27:03] Yeah.
[00:27:04] I spent the first, what is it?
[00:27:08] 40, 45 minutes of this thinking, okay, you work these sort of entry-level jobs,
[00:27:14] but you live on a glamorous boathouse on the lake.
[00:27:19] Scenic view.
[00:27:20] And I don't know how you afford this.
[00:27:24] And then we get the big reveal that she was a doctor.
[00:27:27] Yeah.
[00:27:28] Which means she's living on her savings for a while.
[00:27:34] But then comes the kicker.
[00:27:36] And again, I barely ever watch any of these.
[00:27:39] So you guys can tell me if these films ever get this dark.
[00:27:46] She explains why she's no longer a doctor.
[00:27:48] Yeah.
[00:27:49] Yeah.
[00:27:49] And it's because she lost a patient.
[00:27:53] Now, that is what I anticipated.
[00:27:55] Someone died and it made me sad.
[00:27:57] And now I quit my job as a doctor after 12 years of medical school and interning.
[00:28:04] No one prepared me for the fact that sometimes patients die.
[00:28:07] I thought it's going to be this dumb, right?
[00:28:09] Yeah.
[00:28:10] No.
[00:28:11] That patient died because they didn't have insurance.
[00:28:16] That's true.
[00:28:17] Like, what are we going to, where is this going to go in the movie?
[00:28:24] Right?
[00:28:26] And so, of course, I'm sitting here thinking, well, this is tapping into my rage about the
[00:28:32] lack of universal health care in the United States and medical debt.
[00:28:36] And I had two surgeries this year.
[00:28:39] And guess what's happening to us in this house?
[00:28:42] The same thing.
[00:28:43] And so, and we have insurance, right?
[00:28:46] So it reminded me that as a film critic, it is my job to recommend good films.
[00:28:51] And here's one.
[00:28:52] It's called Sicko.
[00:28:54] And it's from the mid-2000s.
[00:28:56] It's a documentary by Michael Moore, who has since become incredibly annoying.
[00:28:59] But back at that point, we're still making films that I found relevant.
[00:29:03] And it was about the health care system in the United States.
[00:29:06] It would also, and you should watch it.
[00:29:08] It's available.
[00:29:09] I think it's streaming for free on YouTube.
[00:29:10] It's called Sicko.
[00:29:11] And if you're not furious, it'll make you furious.
[00:29:14] I showed it to my, when I taught economics, Dave, I taught economics to seniors in high school.
[00:29:18] I showed it to them every year.
[00:29:19] Every year they had to, every year, every, every class.
[00:29:22] I'm glad you did.
[00:29:24] You were doing the right thing.
[00:29:26] You're doing the best.
[00:29:26] Also, it reminded me, which is something in the film Sicko, referenced in the film Sicko, a 1962 spoken word record album recorded by future president Ronald Reagan.
[00:29:39] And the album is called Ronald Reagan Speaks Out Against Socialized Medicine.
[00:29:48] Because it was like this anti-communist thing to tell everybody that, no, no, no, no, no, we can't have government-sponsored health care.
[00:29:56] Because it'll make us all communists.
[00:29:58] Meanwhile, England has had this since 1945.
[00:30:02] Everyone seems pretty okay with it.
[00:30:04] So I'm thinking, oh, is this movie going to really go into it?
[00:30:07] They don't.
[00:30:08] But at least, like, it's spoken.
[00:30:10] It said, oh, this terrible thing happened because the system of health care.
[00:30:15] And she says it.
[00:30:16] Jessica Loundis' character says, I can't be a doctor with one hand tied behind my back by a system that's broken.
[00:30:24] Wow.
[00:30:26] Boy.
[00:30:27] I thought, is this movie about to get good?
[00:30:29] Nah.
[00:30:30] And then it didn't.
[00:30:31] But still, like, that was a moment where I was like, yeah.
[00:30:35] Happy holidays.
[00:30:35] Socialism.
[00:30:36] You're in the heat.
[00:30:36] That's right.
[00:30:37] Yeah, socialism.
[00:30:38] Dave's feeling is that this movie made him think of another movie.
[00:30:42] Yeah.
[00:30:43] About health care.
[00:30:44] Yeah.
[00:30:44] I'd love to see it.
[00:30:44] That is correct.
[00:30:45] Yeah.
[00:30:46] I also, the Ronald Reagan spoken word, that came straight to my mind, too.
[00:30:49] And so, like, we're same in that regard.
[00:30:51] So you don't have to mention that.
[00:30:52] Brad.
[00:30:52] His fault.
[00:30:53] Yeah, go ahead.
[00:30:53] I'm very old.
[00:30:55] I'm very old.
[00:30:56] Listen.
[00:30:56] I remember these things.
[00:30:58] I was alive in the 80s.
[00:30:59] His follow-up of Fuzzy Wuzzy is phenomenal.
[00:31:02] It's a great listen.
[00:31:03] Yeah.
[00:31:03] I would listen any day.
[00:31:06] Listen, I don't think that me and Jessica Lowndes have much in common.
[00:31:11] I think we probably operate in different circles.
[00:31:13] But I've never felt more seen than when she woke up in the morning and had chip crumbs
[00:31:20] all over her.
[00:31:24] Been there, done that, and am going to do that a lot over the next week and a half.
[00:31:29] Probably made you one joke.
[00:31:30] So, yeah, it made me hungry.
[00:31:32] And so, thank you.
[00:31:33] It's just good to be seen.
[00:31:35] Can you imagine?
[00:31:35] Would you ever?
[00:31:35] It's good to be seen.
[00:31:37] And I appreciate it.
[00:31:39] Brad, would you ever bring a bag of Lay's potato chips into your bed?
[00:31:41] That doesn't leave the kitchen.
[00:31:42] No.
[00:31:43] I would add one crumb and I would be like, change everything.
[00:31:46] Just live life.
[00:31:46] Guys, just go crazy.
[00:31:47] Go crazy.
[00:31:48] Live mass.
[00:31:50] A bag of potato chips is...
[00:31:52] A bag of potato chips can be your lover.
[00:31:55] Daniel.
[00:31:55] Daniel.
[00:31:57] That's true.
[00:31:57] I'm sorry.
[00:31:58] I didn't mean to.
[00:31:58] I'll do this in the kitchen, though.
[00:32:00] Why wouldn't you bring it to your most intimate location?
[00:32:02] Didn't mean to kick shame on you.
[00:32:04] That's right.
[00:32:04] You laceheads out there.
[00:32:05] Oh, boy.
[00:32:06] Don't you know it.
[00:32:07] Mine's also dog-related.
[00:32:11] Brian, fantastic job, Brian.
[00:32:13] Go adopt a dog.
[00:32:14] There's plenty in need.
[00:32:15] Go dogs.
[00:32:15] This movie does a terrible job of making you think that if you have a full-time job away
[00:32:21] from the house, you cannot own a dog.
[00:32:22] And I just want to set the record straight since I'm here and I have the microphone.
[00:32:27] If you think I should adopt a dog, my kids would love it.
[00:32:30] It would be awesome and an adored member of my family.
[00:32:32] But I have a 9 to 5 and my kids go to school.
[00:32:35] Dogs sleep 14 hours a day.
[00:32:37] Yes, you do need to be home for your dogs.
[00:32:39] That is accurate.
[00:32:40] If you're going to be gone 12, 13 hours a day, different story.
[00:32:43] But if you have a job, you can still adopt a dog.
[00:32:46] I would highly recommend, if it's something that your family wants and you can take care of
[00:32:49] a dog, to not let having a normal job where you leave the house stop you from going and
[00:32:55] adopting a dog, they will make your life imminently better.
[00:32:58] And it's proven to reduce all kinds of stress and stuff in your life and blood pressure.
[00:33:02] Including potato chips.
[00:33:03] It's just nice to add to your family and do that to an animal and eat.
[00:33:10] So there you go.
[00:33:10] You can have a dog and a full-time job is all I'm saying.
[00:33:12] And you can eat potato chips together in bed.
[00:33:14] That's wonderful.
[00:33:15] That's wonderful.
[00:33:16] It's a good experience.
[00:33:17] Let's take a quick break.
[00:33:18] We'll come back.
[00:33:18] We'll get to the way what's and the what the homework.
[00:33:19] You're on.
[00:33:20] Take the homework.
[00:33:28] I do love during that break, we got the soothing sounds of Dave White doing a rail of coke.
[00:33:33] That was fantastic.
[00:33:35] Hollywood elites.
[00:33:36] Just to keep things moving here.
[00:33:38] I've got the sniffles.
[00:33:40] I'm sure you do.
[00:33:41] I'm sure you do.
[00:33:41] Yeah.
[00:33:42] It's the California sniffles.
[00:33:43] The sniffles.
[00:33:44] I got it.
[00:33:45] Good, good, good.
[00:33:46] Yeah, of course.
[00:33:47] Let's get to the wait what.
[00:33:49] Before we talk about what the two minutes ago, wait what.
[00:33:50] All right.
[00:33:53] It's unbelievable.
[00:33:54] You probably have one, so go ahead and knock it out.
[00:33:57] All right.
[00:33:57] I got a couple.
[00:33:57] Okay.
[00:33:58] I'll do this quickly.
[00:33:58] Her job.
[00:33:59] I feel like in this movie, her job was unnecessary.
[00:34:02] It was sort of distracting.
[00:34:03] Like she could have just be living off her savings, staying with a friend, doing it.
[00:34:08] How else is she going to get these viral videos in Seattle?
[00:34:10] Well, she could have just been like having fun out there.
[00:34:12] Yeah.
[00:34:13] You know, and like gone viral by happenstance and just turn.
[00:34:16] She has no reason to keep hanging out with the boy if she doesn't have the job.
[00:34:20] Well, that's true.
[00:34:21] Yeah, that's true.
[00:34:22] But you're right.
[00:34:22] Her job is useless.
[00:34:23] Yeah, very true.
[00:34:24] I don't know why they had to really shoehorn that in there.
[00:34:28] Her stepping in dog pee with her socks on.
[00:34:31] Ha ha.
[00:34:32] Just let the dog out at night.
[00:34:35] Yeah.
[00:34:36] Do something.
[00:34:36] Do anything.
[00:34:37] It's a grown dog.
[00:34:38] Full grown dog.
[00:34:39] Yeah.
[00:34:39] The thing is how to go out.
[00:34:41] Yeah.
[00:34:41] So this isn't a training situation.
[00:34:43] This is her just being bad.
[00:34:45] Yes.
[00:34:45] Being bad.
[00:34:46] Just disgusting.
[00:34:47] With socks on.
[00:34:48] With socks on.
[00:34:49] Who do you think you are?
[00:34:50] And she kept them on walking around the house.
[00:34:51] Yeah.
[00:34:52] Oh, man.
[00:34:52] Get out of here.
[00:34:52] Just tracking it all through.
[00:34:54] And Brian doesn't care.
[00:34:55] He's sleeping with potato chips.
[00:34:56] Oh, boy.
[00:34:58] He's like, I'll just dry those socks right up.
[00:35:00] Right up.
[00:35:00] And then the last one.
[00:35:01] Turn them inside out.
[00:35:02] Yeah.
[00:35:02] You can't feel it that way.
[00:35:04] That's true.
[00:35:05] Science.
[00:35:05] Science.
[00:35:06] Science.
[00:35:06] Science fiction.
[00:35:07] Science fiction.
[00:35:08] When he took his shirt off, I hardly even noticed that his shirt was completely dry
[00:35:12] and that it was bright as daylight outside.
[00:35:15] There was no rain hardly at all.
[00:35:17] I hardly noticed.
[00:35:18] Yeah.
[00:35:18] I did notice, but it was barely.
[00:35:22] And I'll save some for the rest of you.
[00:35:24] Dave, what in this movie made you go, wait, what?
[00:35:28] Oh, where to begin?
[00:35:30] Yeah.
[00:35:30] Um, yeah.
[00:35:31] I wonder if Dave has it.
[00:35:33] The, the idea of the viral video is something that Hallmark doesn't seem to quite understand.
[00:35:44] If you want a viral video, there's something needs to happen.
[00:35:48] And the reality of viral animals, usually if they're going to go at solo or one or two,
[00:35:57] is there's something unusual about them?
[00:36:00] You know, skateboarding bulldogs, grumpy cat.
[00:36:04] Yeah.
[00:36:05] Little bub.
[00:36:06] Yeah.
[00:36:06] Three-legged, three-legged pit balls.
[00:36:08] Like you need the classics.
[00:36:11] Otherwise that animal better be extremely entertaining.
[00:36:15] And this is just, every time I saw one of the viral videos, I thought, eh, now next,
[00:36:20] show me, give me, you're done.
[00:36:22] You're not finding Mr. Dog Christmas at all.
[00:36:24] I have written down that my wife has no less than a dozen reels of our dogs that are as
[00:36:30] good as this on her phone right now.
[00:36:32] She could bring up immediately.
[00:36:34] It's not viral.
[00:36:34] It just is.
[00:36:35] Yeah.
[00:36:36] Yeah.
[00:36:37] Christmas time in Seattle.
[00:36:39] It's December, right?
[00:36:41] Yep.
[00:36:42] Almost.
[00:36:43] It's August.
[00:36:45] It's August when they're shooting this.
[00:36:47] And no one's wearing a coat.
[00:36:50] No one has one of those hooded rain coats or umbrellas.
[00:36:55] They're constantly being soaked in the rain.
[00:36:59] And I, that surprised me because I have lots of friends who live up there.
[00:37:08] Um, the, the other thing that I thought at the end when she, when she says, I'm going
[00:37:17] to become a veterinarian now.
[00:37:19] And I thought, you know, that's not exactly the same.
[00:37:21] Gosh, no.
[00:37:21] You know, there, there, there's basically one, there's like two kinds of, there's like
[00:37:25] two, there's like two kinds of humans and, and like a million different kinds of animals.
[00:37:30] Um, you have to go to school a lot more to be a veterinarian.
[00:37:34] You know, you're committing yourself to more and more and more school before this ever happens,
[00:37:38] but you know what you could do.
[00:37:40] You could learn from the past.
[00:37:41] And by the past, I mean the NBC television series, Providence, that aired for five seasons,
[00:37:47] uh, starring Melina Canikaridis and was about a woman who was a doctor and who was sick of
[00:37:54] her career, uh, as a plastic surgeon.
[00:37:56] So she moves to her hometown of Providence, Rhode Island, and lives in the coziest big family
[00:38:02] home that's ever existed.
[00:38:04] Uh, and she opens a clinic and it's for like people who can't afford things.
[00:38:10] And she maintains the integrity of her job while doing it.
[00:38:15] Uh, and she does it looking great the whole time.
[00:38:18] We used to call her Dr.
[00:38:19] Amy Grant when the show was on, we would watch it.
[00:38:22] And the, uh, you, you, you have that opportunity, right?
[00:38:28] You, you, you could go out and save the people who don't have insurance and provide them with
[00:38:33] some free medical care.
[00:38:34] You would just have to bully other doctors in the Seattle area into volunteering and helping
[00:38:39] you like, like a doctors without borders kind of thing.
[00:38:42] But just for your town, think outside the animal box.
[00:38:46] You do not have to have an entire new career.
[00:38:48] You can fix the one you have.
[00:38:50] If only for a few people.
[00:38:52] I thought about that.
[00:38:53] Um, I don't have any weight.
[00:38:56] What's about the story or the dialogue because I stopped paying attention to what they were
[00:39:00] saying to each other about halfway through, except for the thing about the true love tree.
[00:39:06] I had to Google that while I was watching it because I thought, is this a real thing?
[00:39:09] A true love tree.
[00:39:10] There are two giant trees in Seattle that are sort of growing together and they're called the true love trees.
[00:39:17] And of course, some developer wants to tear them down and build a parking lot, which is typical.
[00:39:23] And, but there's not a little tree that people hide in the woods and decorate for Christmas.
[00:39:30] And, or, I mean, maybe there is now, I don't know, but like there, the, that,
[00:39:34] that does not happen.
[00:39:35] And I thought, well, how do you, how do you find it?
[00:39:38] Who decorates it?
[00:39:40] Where's all the, where you're in the middle of the woods.
[00:39:42] Where are all these lights coming from that are draped around these other trees?
[00:39:46] And who did that?
[00:39:47] And that was weird.
[00:39:49] And then my other thing, uh, was the ex-girlfriend who poo-poos the idea that her dog has psoriasis.
[00:40:03] And then at the end, she comes back to, to the doctor lady and goes, and you were right.
[00:40:12] My dog has psoriasis.
[00:40:14] And I, I, I wish, I wish that had been more of a, of a, like a slam dunk moment for Jessica
[00:40:21] Loundis.
[00:40:22] Like, yeah, you don't argue with me.
[00:40:24] I'm a medical professional.
[00:40:25] But it didn't because everyone's too, everybody's too nice.
[00:40:29] Um, I also love the part where at the end, she's given her big speech about why she's
[00:40:35] so happy that she did what she did and it led her to him.
[00:40:39] And, and she says, and I've met, uh, uh, this isn't really a wait, what?
[00:40:43] It's just something I thought was really entertaining.
[00:40:45] Like she, she, she says, I met all these people that I would have never met before,
[00:40:50] you know, like my parents and this little red haired girl who's related to somebody,
[00:40:55] I guess, at the, at the pet, the pet rescue.
[00:40:58] And then this woman who thinks she knows more about psoriasis than I do a doctor.
[00:41:03] And then the curly blonde guy who chainsaws things and what's he doing?
[00:41:07] We never find out.
[00:41:08] And then we, I met this tree and then I met these other trees and you really did have a
[00:41:13] wonderful life.
[00:41:14] Didn't you?
[00:41:14] Yeah, you did.
[00:41:15] So anyway, that's my, I love it.
[00:41:17] Those are my, those are my thoughts about don't, don't argue with a doctor about psoriasis.
[00:41:23] Yeah.
[00:41:23] Come on.
[00:41:24] Think about psoriasis.
[00:41:25] They know it.
[00:41:26] Um, I have a couple, one lesson.
[00:41:28] I don't know.
[00:41:28] Oh yeah.
[00:41:29] Here's a, go ahead.
[00:41:29] Go, you go, you go.
[00:41:32] I'm sorry.
[00:41:33] I started, I remembered one more thing and I'm sorry.
[00:41:35] I talked right over you.
[00:41:36] I hate, I hate people who do that, but now I'm being that person.
[00:41:39] Listen, it's the first episode.
[00:41:42] It's fine.
[00:41:44] If her rich, if her rich parents had that money the whole time, why did they just not
[00:41:49] step in at the very beginning and say, Hey, you know what?
[00:41:53] We're rich.
[00:41:53] We have this money.
[00:41:54] Instead they sat back and let people beg for it.
[00:41:58] Right.
[00:41:59] They let people have like a bad, a really horrible bad day of not making enough money.
[00:42:05] And then they're like, you know what?
[00:42:07] Now that you've proven yourselves worthy of our largesse, we're going to give you the
[00:42:14] money.
[00:42:14] Here's a check.
[00:42:15] You could have written that check the whole time.
[00:42:17] You just wanted people to grovel and that's what rich people are like.
[00:42:21] So there you go.
[00:42:21] Maybe it was accurate is what you're saying.
[00:42:24] Yeah.
[00:42:24] And I won't interrupt you.
[00:42:25] I will not interrupt you anymore.
[00:42:27] Maybe this whole movie is just one big metaphor for the healthcare system.
[00:42:33] Yeah.
[00:42:33] We could step in and we could help, but we're not.
[00:42:36] Right.
[00:42:37] Just a little bit.
[00:42:37] I just wanted to see the puppets dance first.
[00:42:39] I want to make sure I still had it.
[00:42:41] I want you to jump through the hoops, do the thing, and then I'll cover like 10% of
[00:42:47] it tops.
[00:42:47] A little bit.
[00:42:48] I don't know what a microchip reader looks like, but I do know that the one that he's
[00:42:53] viewing looks like a bottle opener.
[00:42:55] Yes.
[00:42:56] I don't know if it is a bottle opener, but it did look like a bottle opener.
[00:43:01] And that's all I'm going to say about that.
[00:43:04] So dog parks are great.
[00:43:05] A great place to go and let your dog off the leash so it can go and play and hopefully
[00:43:11] not get into trouble.
[00:43:12] That's right.
[00:43:13] One surefire way for them to get into trouble is by having a thousand Christmas trees spread
[00:43:20] out throughout the dog park.
[00:43:23] They're not going to make it.
[00:43:25] The trees aren't going to make it.
[00:43:27] The ornaments aren't going to make it.
[00:43:28] It's just a mess.
[00:43:29] And I guarantee you those trees will be peed on and there's nothing they can do about
[00:43:34] it.
[00:43:34] Shout out to Theo.
[00:43:36] That's right.
[00:43:37] Her standing desk.
[00:43:38] It's 4-1-0 at the studio.
[00:43:40] Her standing desk is at an awful level.
[00:43:44] It's the worst standing desk I've ever seen hands down.
[00:43:46] If you're going to have a standing desk, have it to where you can stand upright and do it.
[00:43:51] Like her standing desk was at an awful level and it bothered me.
[00:43:54] It's at waist level.
[00:43:54] It's a sitting desk is what we call that in the soft sciences.
[00:43:57] I don't know what it was.
[00:44:00] I don't know for sure, but I think they used big bills in this movie.
[00:44:06] They're not normal sized monies.
[00:44:07] They seemed bigger.
[00:44:09] And so I have to imagine while they were making this, they were like, let's do one with the
[00:44:13] fun money and one with the real money.
[00:44:16] And the fun money shot one.
[00:44:18] That's the only explanation I can have for it.
[00:44:19] It just popped on camera better.
[00:44:21] Yeah.
[00:44:22] It just popped.
[00:44:22] It's big bills.
[00:44:24] I loved this moment in this movie.
[00:44:26] They are tallying up all the money.
[00:44:29] They have a calculator.
[00:44:30] The assistant does all of the addition, adds it all up.
[00:44:36] Number is going to be on.
[00:44:38] You know, you press the equal sign.
[00:44:40] You see how much they made.
[00:44:41] And Jessica Lown's character goes, I'm not good with numbers.
[00:44:47] Can someone tell me what that means?
[00:44:50] Now, I think what she's trying to say here is, is that total enough to save?
[00:44:56] The shelter.
[00:44:58] But what she said is, I don't know what that number is.
[00:45:04] That's how I took it.
[00:45:05] I'm not good with numbers.
[00:45:06] Can someone tell me what that means?
[00:45:09] Somebody explain those numbers to you.
[00:45:11] You did all the hard work of adding all the numbers together to make one big number.
[00:45:16] And that's where you lost me.
[00:45:17] You lost me at the one big number.
[00:45:19] I don't know what that means.
[00:45:21] Last but not least, shout out to her dad who went with the bold choice to start Christmas
[00:45:25] morning with very tiny blue Santa hat.
[00:45:29] A hat that cannot fit on his head.
[00:45:31] And it's blue.
[00:45:32] It's a double choice.
[00:45:33] And I loved them both.
[00:45:35] Dano?
[00:45:36] Jessica Lounds is a self-proclaimed not a dog person who immediately takes the dog to
[00:45:41] work, feeds him from her chopsticks, dresses him in a sweater, and takes him to a dog park.
[00:45:47] Classic not a dog person.
[00:45:49] Listen, I'm not a dog person.
[00:45:50] I don't really deal with dogs well.
[00:45:52] Would you like to eat from my chopsticks?
[00:45:54] Would you like to eat from my, could we, could we lady in the tramp this?
[00:45:58] Could we eat at the same time?
[00:46:01] They named the dog Russell because, and I want to make sure I get this right.
[00:46:07] They think the dog looks like Russell Crowe from Gladiator.
[00:46:12] He's the haircut that did it.
[00:46:14] That the dog that looks like the shaggy dog from the aforementioned shaggy dog looks like
[00:46:21] Russell Crowe from Gladiator?
[00:46:24] How did they get there?
[00:46:27] How did they get there?
[00:46:29] Why?
[00:46:31] This doesn't make any sense.
[00:46:32] You know how Russell Crowe's Gladiator is notoriously long-haired, blonde-haired,
[00:46:37] blonde-haired, curly-haired Russell Crowe from the arena?
[00:46:41] Got to be honest.
[00:46:43] Maximus.
[00:46:43] Maximus.
[00:46:44] If he was, he would have gotten a thumbs up.
[00:46:46] Yeah, he would have.
[00:46:47] Easily, nicely done.
[00:46:47] Thank you.
[00:46:48] You've seen that movie.
[00:46:50] This guy who's into Jessica Lounds who runs a pet rescue that is crazily quiet.
[00:46:55] I don't know if you've ever been in a pet rescue needle drop.
[00:46:58] You can hear pin drops in a pet rescue.
[00:47:01] Dogs are thrilled to be laying on news.
[00:47:02] They love it.
[00:47:03] They're thrilled to be laying on newspaper, getting vaccines.
[00:47:06] It's their safe space.
[00:47:06] Yeah, it's super quiet.
[00:47:08] And he's always kind of looking at her like he's going to murder her.
[00:47:11] He shows up at her house, and he's like,
[00:47:13] this place is a mess.
[00:47:14] You want to keep a dog here?
[00:47:15] Look at these cords over here.
[00:47:17] That are put away over here.
[00:47:18] Yeah.
[00:47:19] Look at all these cords in one place.
[00:47:20] You can't keep a dog here.
[00:47:22] You know what we should do?
[00:47:23] Decorate for Christmas.
[00:47:25] Right.
[00:47:26] He comes in with a full head of steam to go,
[00:47:28] your place isn't dog ready.
[00:47:30] Let's put up the tree and garland ASAP.
[00:47:32] Let's get that going.
[00:47:34] What this house needs is more obstacles.
[00:47:36] I see all of these things that a dog could have a problem with.
[00:47:40] What if we put a lot more up?
[00:47:42] That's my job.
[00:47:43] That's what we should do here.
[00:47:46] The woman with the red hair who works at the pet rescue,
[00:47:49] who is a delightful actor,
[00:47:51] she unfortunately gets to deliver this line.
[00:47:54] The landlord just called.
[00:47:55] Rent payment is officially overdue.
[00:48:01] Like everybody gets a lease, right?
[00:48:03] And like it's due on the first, late on the fifth.
[00:48:06] Ain't no landlord calling you till you're like 30 days due.
[00:48:09] Can you imagine on the sixth if landlords like,
[00:48:11] well, I got to get out the old Rolodex.
[00:48:13] And they just start calling everybody to go,
[00:48:15] just want to let you know it's official.
[00:48:17] It's official.
[00:48:17] It's official.
[00:48:19] The parade's going to be later.
[00:48:20] Your rent is overdue.
[00:48:23] And at that point, you're not getting kicked out.
[00:48:24] When your rent's overdue,
[00:48:25] that starts the clock of like months, if not years.
[00:48:28] So there's that.
[00:48:32] I want to believe that when Jessica Lounda's character
[00:48:36] took the medical licensing exam to become an MD,
[00:48:39] it said, congrats, you passed, check a box.
[00:48:42] And one box was human and the other box was dog.
[00:48:45] And you got to choose if you wanted to be,
[00:48:48] which Dave White did mention,
[00:48:49] you wanted to be a human doctor or dog doctor.
[00:48:53] Because the way she's like,
[00:48:55] I've decided at the ripe young age of 36
[00:48:57] with all the medical training that I'm going to go back.
[00:49:01] Being a vet is completely different.
[00:49:03] It's just not the same.
[00:49:05] It's fundamentally not the same.
[00:49:07] Like you don't get to just do that.
[00:49:09] Go, I decided on a career choice.
[00:49:11] It's something I've not studied for,
[00:49:14] which great for you, but also,
[00:49:16] no, that's not how that works at all.
[00:49:18] So that's all I got.
[00:49:20] It's time for What the Hallmark.
[00:49:21] It is where we wonder what could be,
[00:49:23] what might happen that would give any clarity to questions
[00:49:26] that we still have.
[00:49:27] What are we still wondering about after we saw this movie?
[00:49:29] Brian, what do you got?
[00:49:31] You know, I always say ABC always be fundraising.
[00:49:34] Yeah.
[00:49:34] That's a good classic.
[00:49:35] They haven't heard that one.
[00:49:38] No.
[00:49:38] Why?
[00:49:38] They have all these videos going viral.
[00:49:40] Like slap a hashtag on there.
[00:49:42] Slap something.
[00:49:43] Hashtag send us some money.
[00:49:45] Holy cow.
[00:49:46] They didn't try at all to leverage this viral series
[00:49:50] to raise some money.
[00:49:51] Like at the very end, they're like, oh, shoot,
[00:49:54] we got to raise some money.
[00:49:55] Let's have a big party and gather all the money.
[00:49:57] Not a single.
[00:49:58] Like, why didn't they even think of it?
[00:49:59] Why didn't they even talk about it?
[00:50:00] Like somebody could have at least put a shot it down
[00:50:03] and be like, no, we're not going to do that right now.
[00:50:05] We'll do that later.
[00:50:06] You have to imagine they tried, right?
[00:50:08] I don't think they did.
[00:50:09] Okay.
[00:50:10] Dave, what are you still wondering about?
[00:50:16] Why?
[00:50:17] Okay.
[00:50:18] I got something.
[00:50:19] Why?
[00:50:20] After we've seen the, what was the one that we watched?
[00:50:24] Alonzo.
[00:50:25] He's sitting over here next to me.
[00:50:27] Where the gay comes in in the middle and teaches everybody
[00:50:30] how to do things.
[00:50:31] What's that movie called?
[00:50:32] Oh, that was the Christina Milian one on Netflix.
[00:50:34] Right?
[00:50:35] The Christina Milian movie.
[00:50:36] Okay.
[00:50:37] Yeah.
[00:50:37] So that gay comes in and saves that movie.
[00:50:39] Right?
[00:50:40] Yeah.
[00:50:40] And, and, and teaches everybody how to behave.
[00:50:44] And then suddenly at the very last minute in this movie,
[00:50:48] spoiler, Jonathan Bennett shows up as another extremely competent gay
[00:50:54] who had he shown up at the beginning of the film,
[00:50:58] could have probably fixed everything with his expertise.
[00:51:02] Like he shows up to rent a, rent a dog, rent a dog,
[00:51:05] adopt a dog.
[00:51:06] There it is.
[00:51:07] Rescue a dog.
[00:51:08] Rescue and adopt.
[00:51:09] And rent.
[00:51:10] Rent perhaps.
[00:51:11] You can, I don't know.
[00:51:12] You can foster animals.
[00:51:14] Oh, that's right.
[00:51:14] That's the closest problem.
[00:51:16] He pops in and he is ready to, to, to, to tend to an animal.
[00:51:23] And if he had shown up at the beginning,
[00:51:25] this could have all been like fixed immediately.
[00:51:29] And he would have located all the rich people you needed to fix,
[00:51:32] fix the shelter as well.
[00:51:34] So what I'm saying is in the future,
[00:51:37] let's just have an,
[00:51:38] an extremely competent gay show up and handle everybody's business and
[00:51:43] teach them how to be and how to do,
[00:51:45] and how to do Christmas properly as well.
[00:51:46] And if that makes this queer supremacist,
[00:51:48] I mean,
[00:51:49] I actually,
[00:51:50] yeah.
[00:51:54] Oh,
[00:51:55] that an unexpected benefit.
[00:51:57] Yes,
[00:51:57] of course.
[00:51:58] Uh,
[00:51:59] I have no other thoughts.
[00:52:00] Yeah.
[00:52:01] Yeah.
[00:52:01] I mean,
[00:52:02] I guess,
[00:52:02] I guess there's going to be another one of these.
[00:52:04] No,
[00:52:04] don't say that.
[00:52:05] I mean,
[00:52:05] mine is,
[00:52:06] you know,
[00:52:06] is this,
[00:52:07] is this the,
[00:52:08] what's Ezra's deal?
[00:52:09] Right.
[00:52:10] What is his deal with Hallmark?
[00:52:11] Will we see him some more?
[00:52:12] Was it a one-off or is this the beginning of many more Ezra movies?
[00:52:16] Because I will say we have seen,
[00:52:18] uh,
[00:52:19] actors,
[00:52:20] uh,
[00:52:21] we've talked about this improve over the years,
[00:52:23] um,
[00:52:24] and become some of our favorites.
[00:52:26] And so,
[00:52:26] uh,
[00:52:27] if,
[00:52:27] uh,
[00:52:27] if Ezra gets more of these,
[00:52:28] what are we going to see?
[00:52:29] How's it going to go?
[00:52:31] Um,
[00:52:31] I am open.
[00:52:33] I'm open to it.
[00:52:34] I'm open.
[00:52:34] Now that he's got one under his belt,
[00:52:35] I'm open to it,
[00:52:36] Dan.
[00:52:37] Yeah.
[00:52:37] The biggest,
[00:52:37] what the homework of this movie that no one's touched on is our boy,
[00:52:40] Eddie.
[00:52:41] Uh,
[00:52:41] he gets one scene where he talks.
[00:52:43] This former some 41 roadie is now making wizard hats that look kind of like
[00:52:49] Christmas trees in the right light with a chainsaw.
[00:52:53] He shows up for one of these and then you never hear him talk again.
[00:52:58] What the bleep's going on with Eddie?
[00:53:00] What's going on with this guy?
[00:53:02] How do we chainsaw Eddie?
[00:53:04] As we call him.
[00:53:05] Who's not,
[00:53:05] that's not a Christmas tree.
[00:53:07] You got to lean just right to see Christmas tree there.
[00:53:10] Uh,
[00:53:10] he's,
[00:53:10] he's been out of work since sugar Ray called it.
[00:53:13] And I don't know what,
[00:53:14] what we're doing with this guy.
[00:53:16] And I need more information immediately,
[00:53:19] immediately for this guy.
[00:53:21] Yeah.
[00:53:21] He was at the fundraiser.
[00:53:22] Just kind of smiling.
[00:53:23] He didn't get a lot.
[00:53:24] No,
[00:53:25] he didn't go on.
[00:53:25] He brought a decoration.
[00:53:26] I think.
[00:53:27] Yeah.
[00:53:28] Uh,
[00:53:28] well,
[00:53:28] we did it.
[00:53:29] We did it,
[00:53:29] everybody.
[00:53:30] Congratulations to us,
[00:53:31] Dave.
[00:53:32] Thank you so much for joining us.
[00:53:34] So Dave,
[00:53:34] you have a decision to make right now.
[00:53:36] That's right.
[00:53:37] It is.
[00:53:38] It is Christmas Eve.
[00:53:39] It is,
[00:53:41] um,
[00:53:41] our final,
[00:53:42] uh,
[00:53:42] episode of the,
[00:53:43] of this holiday season.
[00:53:44] We finished here in a row.
[00:53:45] Do you want to give them a chance to shout out anything?
[00:53:47] Do you want to,
[00:53:47] before I give you the bad news,
[00:53:49] do you want to shout anything out?
[00:53:50] Uh,
[00:53:50] where can people find you?
[00:53:51] Well,
[00:53:51] I would like to tell you all that,
[00:53:53] um,
[00:53:54] you can listen to me.
[00:53:55] Uh,
[00:53:56] I'm an actual film critic.
[00:53:58] Uh,
[00:53:58] also Duralde is not the only one.
[00:54:00] That's right.
[00:54:01] This house.
[00:54:01] Uh,
[00:54:02] and we have a podcast.
[00:54:04] It's called linoleum knife,
[00:54:06] where we dissect the current cinema.
[00:54:10] so there's that you can find me on blue sky.
[00:54:13] I'm one of those,
[00:54:14] I'm one of those libs on blue sky.
[00:54:16] I gotta follow you right now.
[00:54:17] I'm D Leland.
[00:54:19] I'm D Leland white.
[00:54:20] Leland is my very beautiful middle name.
[00:54:22] And it saves me from anonymity,
[00:54:24] uh,
[00:54:25] that I would otherwise suffer through by name being named Dave white.
[00:54:30] Uh,
[00:54:30] so there's that.
[00:54:32] Uh,
[00:54:32] and that's where the name you'll find me on any kind of social media.
[00:54:36] Um,
[00:54:37] and,
[00:54:37] uh,
[00:54:37] you should buy a lawns and Duralde's book.
[00:54:40] Uh,
[00:54:41] what's it called?
[00:54:41] Hollywood pride.
[00:54:42] Buy that for your loved ones.
[00:54:44] And in fact,
[00:54:45] especially buy it,
[00:54:47] especially buy it for your most homophobic loved ones,
[00:54:50] uh,
[00:54:51] and watch them squirm.
[00:54:52] And that will be the merriest Christmas ever.
[00:54:54] There you go.
[00:54:55] I love that.
[00:54:56] Um,
[00:54:56] all right,
[00:54:57] here's the bad news.
[00:54:57] Here's the selfish choice.
[00:54:59] You're going to hang up.
[00:55:00] It's pretty easy.
[00:55:01] We end every one of these,
[00:55:03] uh,
[00:55:04] the last episode before Christmas by singing Christmas shoes.
[00:55:08] And so our hands are tied.
[00:55:10] We have to do it.
[00:55:11] And you are welcome to stay and listen or you can enjoy.
[00:55:15] Oh yeah,
[00:55:15] yeah.
[00:55:16] I want to be in on this.
[00:55:17] Okay.
[00:55:17] Great.
[00:55:17] Okay.
[00:55:18] Um,
[00:55:18] all right.
[00:55:19] Well that,
[00:55:19] that's great.
[00:55:19] Um,
[00:55:20] here we go.
[00:55:20] Another season in the books.
[00:55:21] Another season in the books.
[00:55:22] Sir,
[00:55:23] I want to buy these shoes for my mama.
[00:55:30] It's Christmas.
[00:55:31] It's Christmas.
[00:55:32] Even these shoes are just her style.
[00:55:37] Can you hurry?
[00:55:40] Daddy says.
[00:55:41] I don't know the rest of the words.
[00:55:43] She's right.
[00:55:44] She's been sick for quite a while.
[00:55:47] And I know these shoes will make her smile.
[00:55:50] And I want her to look beautiful.
[00:55:53] With mama meets Jesus.
[00:55:58] And I saw a glimpse of heaven's eyes.
[00:56:01] As it's a turn right now.
[00:56:04] I knew that God had sent this little boy.
[00:56:07] To remind me.
[00:56:09] What Christmas is all about.
[00:56:14] Sir,
[00:56:14] I want to buy these shoes.
[00:56:17] For my mama,
[00:56:19] please.
[00:56:21] It's Christmas.
[00:56:22] Even these shoes are just her size.
[00:56:26] But I don't know.
[00:56:27] Can you hurry?
[00:56:29] Sir.
[00:56:30] Daddy says there's not much time.
[00:56:33] You see,
[00:56:34] she's been sick for quite a while.
[00:56:36] And I know these shoes will make her smile.
[00:56:40] And I want her to look beautiful.
[00:56:42] If mama meets Jesus.
[00:56:46] I want her to look beautiful.
[00:56:51] If mama meets Jesus.
[00:56:56] Tonight.
[00:56:58] And may we be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas.
[00:57:02] Merry Christmas.
[00:57:03] The Bramble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shea.
[00:57:06] What?
[00:57:06] For more information on Deck the Hallmark,
[00:57:08] you can go to deckthehallmark.com.
[00:57:10] For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family,
[00:57:11] you can go to bramblejamplus.com.
[00:57:14] Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.
[00:57:15] For a free trial of Philo,
[00:57:17] go to philo.tv slash DTH.
[00:57:26] You're about to hear some ads.
[00:57:28] That helped keep the lights on here in the old studio.
[00:57:31] Thanks for listening.
[00:57:33] Or don't listen.
[00:57:34] It's really up to you at this point.
[00:57:36] It's at the end of the show.
[00:57:37] I mean,
[00:57:38] you're listening to me.
[00:57:39] Hi.
[00:57:40] But here they come.
[00:57:41] I promise they're coming.
[00:57:42] Yep.
[00:57:42] Here they are.
[00:57:43] Happy day.