Holidazed - S01E01 - The Beginning (Hallmark+ - 2024) ft. Alonso Duralde

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Bran and I love Hallmark Christmas television shows. I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas television shows. I'm Alonso and I'm here for a big bowl of cereal and this is Deck The Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast. Friends host this podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Well, hi there everybody.

[00:00:38] Welcome. Welcome. Another Monday, another TV show we missed. On the plus. And also you can stop emailing us. Stop messaging us. We're here. We made it. Unwrapping Christmas took precedent and we stand by that decision. But now we're here. Tia and Mia and Charlotte and Olivia and Carol. Their stories matter. That's right. And everybody moving in and out of that one house on Shirley.

[00:01:08] It's a Cherry Lane. So just an absolute cursed house. It matters. Cursed house. Yeah. We're excited to dive into holidays. It's gonna be a lot of fun. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Alonso, how are you? Happy Monday to you. Merry Christmas. Happy Monday and Merry Christmas. Yeah. How are things to agree with you? It's not snowing here, but I don't know. What about you guys?

[00:01:30] It is. So at the moment that we're recording this, it's just bitter cold, which colder than we are used to around here. But the school system has said they're sending Chromebooks home with the kids in case they have a e-learning day tomorrow. And I got it. There's not, there's nothing but a flurry maybe in the forecast. I mean, like it is, it just, it boggles them up.

[00:01:53] It might be too cold. It might be too cold. It might be a two hour delay because it's too cold. Yeah. It could be that. It could be a too cold delay. Are you telling me the snow day is no longer a thing? A snow day is not a thing. It is. It's an e-learning day. And I, can I tell you what I do? And if, if any of my kids teachers are listening, I'm fine with you knowing this because I want to be, I always want to be above board. That's big for me. It's an e-learning day and they'll send home the schedule. You got to be online in your zoom or it's a Google classroom meetup. Which is trash.

[00:02:23] So my kids do the first one. The kids do the first one at whatever it is. Eight, nine, every teacher's different. They do the first one and then they had their assignments for the day. As soon as there's snow on the ground, my internet goes out. And when, when I say my internet goes out, I, I'm not going to lie to anybody. I go and unplug it. And then I, and then I email the teachers from my phone. And I say, we're, we're having some connectivity issues, not a lie.

[00:02:48] And then we shut it down and we go play in the snow because my kid is not learning ones, tens and hundreds when there's snow on the ground. He's not doing it. There are more important things. So I, my conscience is clean. And if my teacher, any of his teachers are listening, that's what I'm doing. And they probably appreciate it. They probably wish every kid would do that. That's what we do. So there's that.

[00:03:12] I just, you know, I, I, I think of the snow day as a sacred relic earlier time. And I just, I, I'm with you and not letting it go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You used to wait and see if it was on the ticker, you know, the news in the morning radio. Let's watch the ticker. Let's watch the ticker. That's all I'm saying. Let's get back to the ticker.

[00:03:37] Let's get back to the ticker. Everybody's relying on their social medias and their websites. And I say, no, sir, not me. I wait until Greenville County schools show up on the ticker. The ticker. And I think my kids look at it too. Say, kids, look at this. Don't you get online. Look at this. Yeah. You know, I, I love that, that we do, we are building a generation to whom brand gets to be the, you know, in my day. That's exactly right.

[00:04:05] Brand is all of 32 years old and he's like, I do it while doing a viral dance. I'm like, let's go watch the ticker. You know, so I'm like, I'm still hip. You're a ticker talker. Yeah. I'm a ticker talker. I will say I don't miss. And we, we watched a ticker while I do the ticker talker dance. That's right. And you check on your ticker. That's exactly right. Because it could be going at any minute. I, the one thing I do miss about snow days and not the ticker is there's nothing teachers can do.

[00:04:32] Like before the Google classroom, you're out of luck teachers. I don't care if you want to move forward. You can't get to us. You can't get to us. There's nothing you can do. That's right. It's snowman time, baby. There's nothing you can do. And I love that. I love that so much. And it's gone because even though I, I have internet connectivity issues, my kids have a packet of work. They send them scissors and rulers tape. They send them literally everything they need to do the activity.

[00:05:01] And it's like, I'm so happy that you're playing and prepared, but also come on guys. So basically everybody is now the poor kid in that Christmas who gets stuck. A full day of class, even though there's snow on the ground. No, I don't make them do it. You can take the L kids. I don't even care if you're, I don't care if your report card looks worse. I just think it, I think it's, I think it's traumatic.

[00:05:27] I think all these, all these kids during COVID had to do the Google classroom. And now when they log back in, it's traumatic. It was a traumatic experience. Well, I mean, I'm just saying like, you know, in high school, it is. We're so old right now. We're so old. It just isn't, this isn't the way it should be. But no, I'm not, but like, I'm not like the thing is, is I'm not old in the sense that I want my kids to make good grades over having an experience in high school. It does go towards college in second grade. You, what are you going to get a couple of zeros in homework? You're not going to pass my kid.

[00:05:57] Good luck. Good luck. I'll, I'll be there for that conversation. They're going to take the zeros. I don't care. They don't care. They don't look at their permanent record. Get out of here. I was a principal. That's hysterical. Sixth grade parents calling me going, we're just worried about his permanent record. And I have to act like it's a thing. I'm like, no, no, no. Yeah, that's good. We all are. Could happen. We're all sixth grade. Permanent record. Get out of here. Harvard's really going to be asking about those second grade zeros.

[00:06:26] Please, please tell me those were snow days. Because if not, we're going to have to say no. Things were going well. And then that cold snap in January of 25 wrecked your kid's chances. That's right. Look, when I, at my high school, we had two computers in the library. They were Radio Shack TRS 80s. And that was it. Yeah, that's right. The good old days. Yeah. Let's do, let's do holidays. Shall we? Holidays. Yes.

[00:06:54] Episode one is called The Beginning, if you can believe it. Oh, really? Interesting. It originally premiered on my brother Pat's birthday. So shout out to Pat. Shout out to Pat. Brother Week. Brother Week. Brother Birthday. Brother Birthday. On November 14th, 2024. And it went a little something like this. The episode kicks off with some narration. So, I'm in. Setting up the magic of the holiday season and how we're all hoping for it to be the perfect Christmas, but it never quite works out that way.

[00:07:20] We meet Chuck, who gets himself a bucket lifter to get his Christmas decorations as high as possible. He doesn't care what his neighbors think, especially his next door neighbor, Manny, who seems to have some beef with Chuck. And Chuck has some beef with him as well, despite the fact that their kids are now dating. Then there's Jennifer, who is stressed because her mom, Linda, is dating a younger man and bringing him home for the holidays. Jennifer's dad, Robert, is coming too.

[00:07:50] But Linda has yet to tell him about her new young boyfriend. Josh Hill comes home for Christmas before his big move to Sydney. He buys his parents tech gadgets, but they don't use them. He probably is a big fan of snow day e-learning days. He probably loves it. He's like, yeah, every kid needs a Chromebook. Ted and Marcus arrive to celebrate their engagement with Ted's family this Christmas. And Ted's mom is pumped.

[00:08:19] We also meet two teenagers, not two strangers. They're strange to me. They're teens. What are they doing? Max and Annie are their names. They're best friends, and they're working on a gift drive. But when cool girl Stephanie shows up, Max is clearly smitten by her, which bums Annie out. And one has to ask, Annie, are you okay? She talks to her mom, Lucy, about it, which goes okay. She says, hey, take a candy cane, kid.

[00:08:49] That's really all you need. Lucy runs a bakery, and a hunk named Cole comes in to do some handiwork. Sparks are flying. Lucy's sister Sylvie is coming into town to spend Christmas for the first time in a few years. Sylvie is a lot. Josh gets pulled over by Detective Nora Jacobs when he recognizes her from school. It's clear that they never really got along. She gives him a ticket, much to his surprise. He's like, I thought we were pals.

[00:09:19] Meanwhile, Manny and his wife are so excited that their daughter Gabby is home for Christmas. She is big news. She may be getting her own cooking show. But that joy does not last long when she finds out that her brother Kevin is dating their next-door neighbor Katie, who used to torment her as a kid. Josh complains about the ticket to his parents, but his parents tell him that Nora's actually pretty awesome. Her husband passed away recently, and now she's raising the kid on her own.

[00:09:47] Josh begins to feel a little bit bad about giving her a hard time. Ted and Marcus are talking wedding plans when Ted brings up his grandma as a potential problem. Everybody skirts around the issue until Ted admits that his grandma doesn't know that he's gay. Marcus is shocked by this revelation and doesn't understand why Ted just doesn't tell her. They're even more surprised to find out that she's now coming for Christmas, despite planning a spa trip in Florida for her.

[00:10:17] When she meets Marcus, Ted introduces him as, quote-unquote, his good friend. Clark and his wife Rebecca show up at his family's house. Clark's dad is Chuck, the Christmas-like guy from the beginning. Their large family immediately gives him grief for deciding to go vegan this year. Yeah, fair. Josh goes to pay his ticket, much like Brian. Remember Brian was vegan?

[00:10:47] Oh, Brian, remember that. Josh goes to pay his... Hardest week of our lives. It was a tough week. Josh goes to pay his ticket and meets Nora's kid. He teaches them how to properly structure his Legos. Gabby and her family head to the annual karaoke festival, which she loves. They do it every year. She's upset when Katie shows up, and things get worse when they both choose the same song to perform. And everyone knows what that means. Duets!

[00:11:13] They crush the duet until Katie accidentally hits Gabby in the face, causing her to fall off the stage. To top it all off, Gabby learns that her parents are giving Katie her room to sleep in because she's too tall for the couch. Later, Josh is in a rush to sign some papers at the real estate office for his parents. When he forgets to put his car in park, it rolls into a fire hydrant. Of course, Nora shows up and tells him that this is pretty serious. He's actually going to have to go to court for this.

[00:11:42] Josh pleads, stating that he's going to be moving to Australia. Couldn't possibly make it to court, so she gives him community service instead. Something that she's going to be doing as well. Some community service. Gabby is looking for a blanket in the closet when she finds an engagement ring in Kevin's pocket. She is not happy. Ted's grandma finds the wedding planning photo album thing and assumes that Marcus is there.

[00:12:08] And Marcus is engaged to Ella, Ted's sister. So now she's staying because she's excited to help plan a wedding. Meanwhile, Chuck's wife, Connie, is tired of the family fighting, so she makes everybody sign a no fighting agreement. Chuck agrees that he will sign it, but we've got to go outside and turn the Christmas lights on first. They plug it in. It's magical until it's not, and they all turn off.

[00:12:35] And that, my friends, was Holiday's the Beginning. I was going to start in with episode one, or season one, episode one. Okay, fair. You went straight to the beginning. That's fine. I think it's... I audibled. Yeah. You did great. Yeah. You did great. No problem. Let's take a break. I love it. We'll take a break. We'll come back and we'll break this episode down here on... Jack the Hallmark. Welcome back, everybody.

[00:13:05] We're talking about the pilot, if you will. Sure. Of Holiday's The Beginning. They thought a lot about that. That title. Let's dive into it. Let's share our thoughts on it. We're going to start with a hot take. It's where we share exactly how we felt about this episode. We're not going to hold back, and I will start with you, Alonzo. Alonzo, I think you've already seen Holiday. I have. I have. I've watched the whole thing. Yeah, the first time that I watched it, I have to say I was pumped about it.

[00:13:33] You know, this is a thing they shot like a couple years ago, and they've been sort of teasing out for a long time, and I guess they were saving it for the big Hallmark Plus launch. And it's certainly ambitious, and they're really shooting for something big here and complicated, and kind of taking the stuff that they do in a Hallmark Christmas movie, but expanding it out into a series and giving themselves real estate and all that. So the first time I watched it, I think I was very excited about it and very into it.

[00:14:02] Watching it again, I'm kind of noticing how there's a lot of mugging going on. Like, this is directed by Stacey Harding, who did, you know, Round and Round. Trend of the Pod? Stacey Harding? Yes. Yes. I've interviewed her. One of the great, like, Hallmark comedy films of the last few years. But there's a lot of, like, people, like, making their eyes get real big and, like, getting all, you know, like Ian Harding is doing it. Gabby is doing it.

[00:14:31] Like, there's a lot of kind of, you know, histrionic behavior going on. The pros, I think, are a lot more chill. You know, Virginia Madsen. John C. McGinley. Loretta Devine. John C. McGinley is kind of doing it. But John C. McGinley mugs for a living. Like, that's his whole thing. That's why you bring him in. Yeah. Like, if anything, I think Dennis Hazard would say be underplaying it. What? You know, but no, but it is fun and I appreciate what they're going for here.

[00:15:00] And I think that look at as on the scale of, like, what Hallmark movies do and how they do it. You know, this is pretty good. I really, really, really like this first episode. Really? It's a trifecta of likes. Three really. I know. What's going to move to a love for you? Well. This is a full Polly Ray Jepsen. He really, really, really, really, really liked it. And I want you and I want you to whatever the lyrics are to that song. That's right.

[00:15:29] Shout out Carly Ray. And not the Call Me Maybe. No. Not that. No. Yeah. Different. She has other songs. She has other songs. Yes. And I would say all those songs are a good time. It's another track from her. It's good. I really, really, really like this show. I thought that this, but I'm holding it and I'm waiting to see how they play this out. But this first episode I thought was really solid.

[00:15:53] And I immediately felt drawn to all of the storylines. And I'm very intrigued to see how they play out. And my understanding, just looking at the titles, is that the next few episodes are going to be about kind of focusing in on one of the families each episode. Which is nice for me as the synopsis writer. Because this was a bear. This was a full-time job here. But really enjoyed myself. I thought that it was funny.

[00:16:21] I thought that there were lots of compelling characters. Even with it, like some of the people that aren't like the main people that they connect. Like just the people that kind of had a line or two. Really interesting. I'm very intrigued by our guy Sedarius coming in as the younger guy. I happened to see him in the IMDB. Okay. And then when I heard his voice, I was like, oh, he's going to be a boyfriend. Man, when he came out, I didn't see it coming. So when he came out of the car, I was like, oh, that younger.

[00:16:50] That's what we're talking about. That's fun. So really intrigued by that one. I think all the storylines are really fun. But that's the one that I felt like they spent the least amount of time on that one. And I think just because of the reveal of Sedarius was kind of the one that I was like, I can't wait for that episode in particular. But I'm really excited about all these episodes. I think it's going to be really fun. And I thought as far as a pilot episode kind of spotlighting these different stories, I thought they did a great job of jumping around. I don't have very many critiques at all. I really enjoyed myself. Dan? Yeah, this is a good time.

[00:17:19] It's ambitious. For Hallmark, it's incredibly ambitious. It is serialized television. So unlike Mistletoe Murders, which basically just broke up a movie into two episodes, this very much is how do we take eight Hallmark movies and make them serialized television? And I think that this structure makes more sense and is also tougher to pull off. But just a pure 40 minutes to 40 minutes, I like this more than Mistletoe Murders.

[00:17:49] Now, do I think it can continue to grow in quality and how much I love it like Mistletoe Murders? I don't know. But per capita, if you will, Brian. I will. You know I love the capita. I think this is a better show. And I think it is. You do have an embarrassment of riches here. I mean, we have Oscar nominees here. We've got Dennis Haysbert. We've got John C. McGinley. We've got Loretta Devine. We've got Virginia Madsen. Ian Harding, who he might be mugging some. He's never looked better.

[00:18:20] He always looks great. But I was struck by Ian Harding just like, dude, this guy looks great. For some reason, I don't know what it was. He just has never looked better. Ian Harding two years ago. Oh, that's what it was. He was younger. Come on. Got him. Ian Harding and Aaron Cahill together are like genetic lotto. Well, Aaron Cahill is one of the sweetest people we've ever met in person. Like thoughtful, remembers everything, is always like thinking of others. It's unbelievable.

[00:18:49] And whenever I watch her movies, I'm like, she's a really great actor trapped in a bad movie. And so for me to see her in this, those two together. Yeah. I'm excited to see them more. But I think that's the thing that I would say. This is more than a bit overstuffed. I think if you're going to have a complaint about this, it's okay. Stop throwing characters at the screen. You can character development happens over eight episodes with five characters. You don't need 50 characters. And so that is the big complaint.

[00:19:17] But every storyline I care about everyone, I care about the Haysbert storyline. I care about the Hill family with the grandma showing back up. I care about the John C. McKinley storyline. I care about Ian Harding and Aaron Cahill. Absolutely. So I care about it all. It's ambitious. The acting is great. A bit overstuffed. Absolutely. But as it stands right now, had a great time. It's time for all the feels where we talk about what in this episode gave us feels.

[00:19:48] Alonzo. I have had the family friend who I wasn't allowed to come out to for a very long time because she just wasn't going to be able to deal with it. And then finally, there was the Thanksgiving that Dave and I came home and she was also going to be there. And my dad had to sort of take her aside and spell it all out. So I get that tension there. How old was she? Was she older than your parents?

[00:20:17] She was the same age as my parents. My parents were old, though. Like my dad was 47 when I was born. Yeah. So, you know, these are people that remember the Spanish Civil War firsthand. Yeah. There it is. There it is. You know. But anyway, so that kind of called memories of that. When Ted was like, I'm just going to tell her. And his dad's like, you want to kill her at Christmas? It's a very funny line. Very funny line and great delivery. Yeah. That gave me feels.

[00:20:48] And then, you know, here's the thing. I got, you know, I hate to like spoil anything. But the thing about this show is that it sets you up to think that, oh, this is a cul-de-sac. They're all neighbors. They're all going to be in each other's business. There's a lot less crossover than you would imagine that's going to happen. Aside from the neighbors, they're not really, right? They're not. Yeah. Like you'll see like a case like Gabby. It turns out his friends were there in Cahill.

[00:21:14] And, you know, like the stroll becomes a big deal and stuff. But like, I mean, had I not been told that there was a cul-de-sac, I wouldn't have even gotten that for this episode. Yeah. There's obviously the two next door neighbors. And then one family. Oh, when Josh is complaining about the cop, they explain how she helped multiple of the neighbors. And so they, but aside from that, like I would, they never really do an establishing shot of the cul-de-sac or whatever. Yeah.

[00:21:44] This, the, well, go ahead. Go ahead and finish. No, no, no, no, no, no. That was, I mean, I, you know, I, the, the fields build as this thing goes. So that's all, that's what I got for now. Were you going to say something? I was just going to say like, for me, the, the fact that they've done this and set this up, it just made me angry that this wasn't on Hallmark Linear. And I know that that's a, since we're being old people today, I just like, I just. Oh, it will be. I get it.

[00:22:12] I get why you put it on Hallmark Plus, but like this, this reeks of perfect programming for Christmas time for the maximum number of viewers. I'm interested to see what they do with this coming holiday. And by coming, I mean, you know, 10 months from now, because of, because of. And when you say 10, I think you mean nine. And I hate it.

[00:22:35] That the, the post from the post from sleepy kiddie paws on the blue ski, uh, kind of out, uh, laying out just how dropped dipped another 8% a tough, a tough year. I don't think they could possibly do that many movies again next year, although we've been wrong before, but, um, maybe kind of moving in like, Hey, we'll do, you know, a good batch of movies, but then we'll also have a show here or there that kind of makes more sense financially. I would be fine with that. Cause I think this is really great.

[00:23:04] Oh, I would, if you'd, if you tell me I get to get rid of like novel Noel and private princess Christmas and I get holidays instead. Are you kidding me right now? Like that's like me getting a raise. Like that's crazy. The difference there. Like that's, that's insanity. It's a raise in spirits, but also like, I don't know, like they, you know, uh, cherry lane and this, like most of our LGBTQ inclusion is on the plus. I think as far as a characters go totally. Yeah.

[00:23:34] Like we, we, we, we had, we had some bees scattered scattered throughout the Hallmark season, but yeah. I mean, I don't know if there are bees or not. Bee stories. I mean, that's the, I mean, I don't know. That's their business. No. Like a story, bee story. You know, we, we had a lot of supporting characters in the Hallmark movie. But that's some bees. Yeah. Where are the teas? Thankfully we, thankfully we didn't have any C's. Teas matter too, man. What are we doing here? Let's go. We didn't have any C's.

[00:24:02] All of the, all of the, all of the queer presence on Hallmark linear this year was supporting characters and sort of, you know, side stories. Whereas like, you know, you know, you, the, the, the couple here, like Jonathan Bennett on, you know, cherry lane, like that all got put behind a paywall, which was kind of frustrating. And I'll tell you the episode that focuses on that family is not only like super gay, but it's also super Chinese.

[00:24:30] Like they really get into the things of how they celebrate and what they eat and that kind of stuff. And again, like would have been nice to see that on Hallmark and one day we will. Yeah. I mean, it's another, it's just another, like with, with Lisa Hamilton daily now gone, rest in peace, obviously. Obviously. How much, how much of that placement was her directive is like, will we see any changes because if there's a big change, then we'll know. Then we'll know. And so that's another interesting thing to keep an eye out for. Did you happen to catch those February movies we, we covered during the decades, Alonzo?

[00:25:01] Uh, yes. So that, uh, it's a new, it's new. It's new. They're doing a new thing. I don't know. It's different. I don't know how well that bit worked, but I liked it. Oh, we loved it. It was much funnier than the stop the steal one, but that's just me. You know. Here's mine is, listen, they have a lot of people have. Christmas karaoke in the Hallmark movies. And that's wonderful. This is an annual Christmas festival. Yeah, it is.

[00:25:29] I don't, I don't really know what that means, but I am here for it and, uh, would really like to partake in an annual Christmas. Uh, it's not even Christmas. It's just a karaoke festival. I would like to partake in that. Dan? Yeah. Mine, we've pretty much covered it, but like kind of frustrated that this is where it is after being sitting on a shelf for two years. Yeah. Like this is the equivalent of all of those bad Marvel movies. Some Sony's releasing that have sat around that.

[00:25:56] Like when stuff sits on a shelf, it's because people have no confidence in it. I, I just don't understand how this sat or like Ian Harding told us off the record after ghost of Christmas. Christmas always he talked to us about this show. We had him on our program after ghost of Christmas. Always. He told us about filming this show. How, how, how has it sat around that long? I, I, I, I'm going to say this.

[00:26:25] I don't think, I think it's the opposite of usually. Yeah. If something gets shelled, they just like, you know, they want to kind of just sneak it out of the world. I think they were very excited about this and they were like, we have a streaming platform we want to sell. We have to put something on it. That's going to really draw in viewers. And really all they had to do is just show the new Christmas movies the next day. And that's what people really wanted, but they didn't want to go that way. They wanted to do original stuff. And they were like, we got this thing and it's got all these people in it.

[00:26:54] And it's like, it's different than what we use. It's different. And so, you know, I think the, I think, I think they were hanging onto it because they were like, this is how we're going to launch the streaming service and it's going to go great for us. All right. All right. You say so. Yeah. I do think that's it. I just don't think they had the, the, the, the manpower to promote it. Like, it's just like between all of the backing that they gave to holiday touchdown and hear really anything about this.

[00:27:23] You may have saved it for the plus, but you buried it. Like I, even if that wasn't the intention, I mean, mistletoe murders could have easily launched the plus. Like they, they, when they, but they started this thing so late that the last episode aired on Christmas Eve. Good gosh, man. They didn't even try with this. They tried with the groomsmen. They definitely try with the groomsmen. They did not try with this. So that's Philadelphia. Yeah. If they had maybe skipped groomsmen and started this a little bit earlier,

[00:27:52] that might've helped, you know, and maybe not drop everything on a Thursday. I don't know what that is about. It's a mess over there. Let's, let's take a break. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll get to weight what's, and then we will unveil a brand new segment called, what are we calling it, Alonzo? What's your holiday? What's your days? What's your holiday? What's your days? Fantastic. Take the Hallmark. Take the Hallmark.

[00:28:23] Take the Hallmark. Nailed it. The delay's crazy. As good as we've ever done. The delay's crazy today. It's unbelievable. The two better revocates. Let's get to the weight what's. This is where we're talking about what in this episode made us go weight what. I'll start with you, Alonzo. So I was originally trying to talk Christy Lemire at Breakfast All Day into recapping this show on our Patreon channel where we do TV recaps and we usually do like kind of prestige shows and like the Marvel and Star Wars stuff, whatever. And I thought, oh, this would be fun.

[00:28:52] Let's do this Hallmark thing. And she watched the one episode and immediately came back to me and said, do they all look like this? And I realized, oh, right. If you're not used to, if you're having a steady diet of Hallmark, you forget like that everything is like super bright all the time. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, I knew immediately. Yeah. But what I did notice this time is that all of the movies that we watch,

[00:29:20] everybody's house looks not lived in. You know, it has that sort of like model home generic quality where like all the countertops are gleaming. If anything, there's too much, too many Christmas decorations in the actual kitchen. But generally speaking, everything's very bland and personality free. And it doesn't feel like people really live there. So what if we now get six of those houses where no one looks like they live anywhere?

[00:29:49] Like the Minetti Hanahans who have established themselves as being rambunctious and eccentric and, you know, like tons of kids running underfoot and all that stuff. Even their house looks like a mausoleum. And so seeing that many bland featureless model homes next to each other really drove home the point for me that that's what we do on this channel. And I just, and I hated it.

[00:30:19] And then, I mean, that's kind of it because like we're so early into the, we're just setting up the plots now. We haven't gotten nearly into the weeds yet of the way what's to come. I have a few. One, what's her? I don't even remember what the character's name is. But she's very bothered by that. Her sister is using so many emojis in the text message. And she's like, what type of adult uses this many emojis? And I'm here to let her know, unfortunately, a lot.

[00:30:49] A lot. A lot of them. A lot of the adults. I mean, I'm with her, but also, yeah. A lot of them do that. Yeah. A lot of them. You know, as I was watching this, I was wondering, how big is this town? What's the size of this town? And it was answered in the fact that Aaron Cahill gave him a handwritten ticket, which is next level. She didn't go back. She didn't do the thing. And then process the credit card payments in the police station by hand. She may have had a credit card machine somewhere.

[00:31:19] Credit cards, you got it. But she wrote the ticket and processed the credit card payment for the ticket, which there has to be something illegal about that. But that's fine. She didn't do the thing where she's like, let me go back here. Let me go get the person that does that in the office. Or even just when she's writing the ticket, she didn't go back to her, like, look up the license. Like, hey, let's see. As someone that's paid my fair share of speaking tickets. Square on her phone, even. No one ever pays the police officer that wrote the ticket. No one does that. That's not. So that's how big the town is. Now we know. Now we know.

[00:31:49] That's nice. I'd die there. For sure. That's a small town. That's exactly right. I, you know, I talked about the karaoke festival and I'd love to go there. I found it so interesting that of the things that they put effort into in this show, one of the things that they decided to do was to write a really weird duet. That's right. That was just like, I don't even know how to describe the genre of this song.

[00:32:18] It was such an odd song. And I just don't really know what, I didn't really know what to do with it. And so I, I'm not saying I disliked it. I'm just saying it was, it was different. It was, it was different. It's different. Last but not least, I was personally underwhelmed by Chuck's house when he plugged in the lights. If you're going to, if you're going to bring in a thing and go up and do the bucket lift and do the thing, I want it to be very elaborate and take my breath away.

[00:32:47] And you will not be. West Brown would not be coming to that house. I was just about to say that. I was like, not only would you. It was his best day. It was his worst day. You don't have a chance of making Great American Life Fight. Maybe West Brown show, but probably not. Underwhelmed was I. Dano? Just three quick ones. One, if you tell me I got lunch, I'm bringing you a Power Bowl. I will not eat said Power Bowl. You don't get to do that. You don't get to decide that I'm eating a Power Bowl. I don't.

[00:33:17] No, no, no. You don't just do that. My body, my choice. That's right. You don't even do that to your own parents. Like get some sort of like verbal, like, yeah, Power Bowl sounds. You can't just be like, I'm bringing Power Bowls. We'll see you guys later. Anytime I hear Power Bowl, though, I think of the Power Team. And that makes me happy. Of course, ripping phone books, the whole thing. But I will say this. You heard about Jesus. I will say this. It is not that I think you can't. Like if you said, I'm bringing a pizza to your parents above board. Like you can do that.

[00:33:45] Like I know what kind of pizza both of my parents eat. That's not a problem. You can't just look at someone and say, I'm bringing Power Bowls. Unless you work out with them every day and you guys all go eat the same Power Bowl, you've lost your mind. Unless you're doing a thing with them. That's right. You know, we're doing a thing. We do a thing around here. That's true. We have smoothies. Power Bowl is one step. Power Bowl we're not doing. No, no, no. It's Power Bowl. They karaoke at a place called the Mellow Mushroom and they act like that is a local bar. And I have news for you.

[00:34:14] The Mellow Mushroom is a chain of pizza bars. That is a chain. And it's one we have in town here. And I don't know if it was just happenstance or they filmed it there and thought they would change it in post. But they do the interior. The interior of the Mellow Mushroom does not look like that. And they do karaoke there at a place called the Mellow Mushroom. Maybe it was just like it happens to be a bar called the Mellow Mushroom. I don't know.

[00:34:40] But as soon as I saw it, I went, they're karaoke at the pizza place. The pizza establishment, the Mellow Mushroom. But it doesn't look like that in there. I like Mellow Mushroom. And then lastly. I bet in British Columbia a place called Mellow Mushroom has a whole other content. A whole different. Oh, no. That's a vibe they also did not land. But it could have been that. They don't do a lot of karaoke there. They think they're doing karaoke. But they're not. The last one I have is a legitimate one. And maybe it's just me.

[00:35:10] I'm the guy that says I have internet connectivity issues and my kids don't do the snow day. So maybe this is just me. But if I'm moving to Australia and you threaten me with a court date in a small town, I'm still moving to Australia. What are you going to do? Extradite me. Extradite me to your podunk one cop town for your fire hydrant court case. Just send me the fine in the mail. It'll get to me in a month. I'll write you a check in Australian dollars.

[00:35:39] Get lost. Get lost. Are you kidding? Get bent, small town. I'm leaving. There is no world where your threat of a court appearance is going to stop me from flying to Australia. What are we doing here? As soon as she says it, he's like, well, I'm bound by the law. What are you talking about? It's nothing. It's a nothing thing. Go to Australia. Australia. This is crazy.

[00:36:07] You think maybe it would stop him from getting back in the country? No. No, it's not a federal anything. Yeah, well, I'm trying. It's like if the town of Greer, South Carolina was like, you hit a mailbox. And I'm like, all right, take that up with Delta Airlines because I'm out of here. That is stupid. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Good luck. It's time for are you holly or dazed? We ain't no hollaback.

[00:36:39] Alonzo, what's your holly and what's your dazed? My holly is that we have a lot of really talented people and I think they find a way to find the fun in this as it goes along. And so that's, I think even from this first episode, you can tell that there's their game and they're ready to really kind of sink their teeth into this. My dazed is that they are not even trying to make this seem like winter.

[00:37:09] Oh, that's true. Like, could I have some like cotton batting or some fire extinguisher foam something? All the money we made in the cast. Yeah, there's no snow on the ground. Like they're barely like bothering to put coats on half the time. Like fake it a little, a little holidays. Come on. My holly is also the cast. My dazed is there's not nearly enough murder in this show.

[00:37:37] We just watched a show where there's a murder in one town three times in one month. So let's just divvy it up a little bit. Maybe a crossover show. Maybe she comes into town. Mistletoe murder days. That's exactly right. Maybe something, maybe there's something there, but it's just not realistic to me that there's not any murder in this because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that there's at least a little murder and typically a lot of murder. So disappointed, disappointed in the amount of murder. One of the safer small towns that we've seen. Yeah.

[00:38:07] Yeah. For sure. Well, you do paper tickets. Yeah. Paper tickets. I don't think they get a lot. You have to look the cop in the eye that you paid, that pulled you over. You got to look him dead in the eye and be like, I know, and now I'm paying you. Can you take personal checks? So my holly is Sir Darius Blaine. I mean, this guy, anytime we can get more Sir Darius Blaine, I'm here for it. The idea of him and Dennis Haysbert having any sort of confrontation is great.

[00:38:35] Like Dennis Haysbert is just built entirely out of gravitas. Like he's the nationwide or all state guy, whatever. He's like, he's the president of 24. Like I can't wait for them to talk. He's Pedro Serrano from major league. That's a shout out to nobody. He is like Dennis Haysbert is everything he says matters and it's important. And Sir Darius Blaine is a mountain of a human being.

[00:38:58] And so those two having any sort of like anything where they have to talk is definitely the holly of this. There's no question about it. And then the days is like, while I did like every story, I am upset that I know that it's not going to be like this every week. I think the most ambitious would have been to do all of these stories every week. The fact that I know that it's one family next week and so on and so forth.

[00:39:26] And then the finale is kind of another hodgepodge beluga. That is disappointing to me because I feel like episodes will live and die on that one family's plot line. And I like, I feel like as overstuffed as it was, I feel like I knew all of these characters by the end of 40 minutes. And so I want to keep seeing all of them every week instead of the focus being on just a few of them. Think of poor brands. That's true. That's right. Think of the synopsizers out there. Okay.

[00:39:56] Synopsizers. There are dozens of us. There's dozens. There's dozens. We did it. Yeah, we did. We'll be back next week with episode deuce of holidays. So coming back for that. And then, of course, we'll be back tomorrow with another episode. Until then, maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shea. What? For more information on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.

[00:40:25] For a free trial of Philo, go to philo.tv slash DTH. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.