Holidazed - S01E02 - The Hill Family (Hallmark+ - 2024) ft. Alonso Duralde

[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Brandon and I love Hallmark Christmas television program. I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas television program. I am Alonso and Ruthless Ornament Contest and this is the Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark gets this podcast and friends host this podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Hello everybody. Oh boy. How are we? Another week of

[00:00:36] this podcast is here already? Are you kidding me right now? Days go by fast. Days go by. That's what I've heard. We're living the dream. In the dream of a family. Ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da. Take it Alonso. I have no idea what we're doing. You 90s sitcoms you didn't miss much. Oh okay. All you had to do was ba da ba da ba ba ba. That's all you knew. Ba da ba ba da. I can't believe it immediately come to mind.

[00:01:05] I you know what I if I'd known there would be scatting I would have run some scales before. To be fair though we've already covered the Urkel movie on this podcast and true Alonso has been honest in saying he didn't really watch much family matters so. Um zero family matters. That was the family matters theme song so you. Oh okay. You feel better? And it all. That's how we tied it in. We knew we wanted to bring back up the family matters movie and that's right. That's the way to do it. Yep. So at all. By the way did you guys ever watch Bojack Horseman on?

[00:01:35] I watched the first season and I know I need to get back because I hear it's amazing. Amazing show and like a lot of it has to is is goofing on 90s sitcoms which I'm sure a lot of it flew over my head. Like I could tell they were making fun of like Full House and other stuff like that but a brilliant show. Yeah. Full House. Great show. Full House. Full Airhouse. I have a hard time with animated television shows.

[00:01:57] Like animated movie here for animated television shows I just lose interest faster than I should and it's a me problem and I know it is. Okay. You should work on that. Yeah I should. That family of yours. I'm going to do the best I can. Specifically ones that are geared towards adults. I like I don't care. It's tough. I'm just kind of like yeah. It's just a hard. I'm with you on this. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I just can't seem to be like I'm going to sit down and watch this knowing there's other things to watch. I just think it's less than and I shouldn't.

[00:02:26] It's not but that's what I think. I'm just being honest. Movies though. Dan loves Sausage Party. He watches it on a loop which is crazy. It's crazy. I say you're watching it again. It's a funny movie. Watching it again. The writing of BoJack is really great. I think I would dig it. Somebody called it the greatest sitcom about depression ever made. Wow. How about that? There you have it. Alonso it's great to see you. How are you? I'm good. It's February.

[00:02:54] What is even happening here? It's unbelievable that it is February. Why should we even decide to have one? Are you feeling a little closer to Christmas now that we're out of January? Yeah. We had our first Christmas party on Christmas morning. 863 days till Christmas. Impossible. But we had our first Christmas party episode on Christmas morning on the 25th of January. And that's always nice. So now we're 11 months. I couldn't wait. I know. This year it was on a Saturday.

[00:03:24] I know. And I woke up just sprung out of bed. You told your kids to pipe down. I got Christmas morning to listen to. Yeah. My kid had a basketball game that morning. I was like, kid, I'm sorry. I can't make it. I got to listen to this Christmas party. The Christmas aficionado is guesting. Come on. Yeah, that's right. It was a big deal. I couldn't already sleep. It was like Christmas morning for me. You always talk about Joe Joe. Yeah. Joe Joe. I met him at the Christmas party. I know. Wonderful guy. We love Joe. There you go. I do feel closer to Christmas, though. It's because it is. And partially because of holidays. It's nice that we held these. Yeah.

[00:03:54] I do think we're too late for this. There's only eight of these. But we should have covered more than one of these, I think, at a time. Well, yeah. And now we're in it. But we're in it. We're in it now. I find myself champing at the bit to get ready for Carry On and Nutcrackers. Which, by the way, I forgot what we were doing, and I watched it over the weekend. The Carry On? Yeah. The Jack Black one. What is that called? Dear Santa. Dear Santa. Like those three movies I missed during the holidays. I want to watch those now.

[00:04:21] And I'm trying not to hold that against holidays, which I am enjoying. Well, Dan, part of the thrill of Christmas is the anticipation. Good God. But it's not the thrill of March and April. Dan's get it. Dan likes the Christmas. Yeah. Hey. There's no sausage party. I'm going to take my anticipation where I can get it. Yeah, that's right. Let's stop. You're ready for it. Here we are. Everyone's anticipating what we're going to say about this one. Of course. I was trying to segue into it. I couldn't quite get it.

[00:04:51] Naturally. We all could tell. Thank you. Thank you, Aaron. Let's talk about it. Season one, episode two of Holidays. It's the Hill family, which came out on the 14th, apparently, of November, and it went a little something like this. Josh is talking to his girlfriend, Stacy, who, by the way, her mom. Dude, her mom. Incredible. A good person. Yeah. No, no, no. As a human being. Yes. Obviously. I haven't even noticed. No. I've not met her in person.

[00:05:19] I just know, like, on the phone, seems like a lovely. Phenomenal. Great voice. Come on, man. And pays on time for lawn services. Yeah. Always. She does. Always fully clothed. Pool services, too. Yep. Anyway. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I got it. And Stacy, they're talking, and he's complaining about the community service situation and is talking about Nora. And Stacy's like, Nora, you call your local sheriff by her first name? That's weird and fair.

[00:05:49] So, Josh makes it to the community service a little late, mind you, and starts complaining about Nora to this woman as they're decorating trees, and she's not having it. Everyone loves Nora. Nora's son, Theo, is there and recognizes Josh from the Lego situation, from the last one, and asks him to help with the project. They are trying to come up with the perfect Christmas ornament for the Christmas ornament contest.

[00:06:18] And so, they're trying to come up with something perfect and not quite getting it. They're going to need some new art supplies. So, Nora reluctantly agrees to give them a ride as they go out and they do this thing. And they immediately clash. They're clashing. They're arguing. It's a whole thing. After trying to help Theo make the perfect ornament, Theo invites Josh over to their house to hang. He reads Theo a bedtime story and then discovers that apparently, Josh isn't good at hugs.

[00:06:49] So, luckily for him, Nora is there to help. Nora and Josh hug, and she is teaching him how to hug, and it is all above boards. No problems here. No. No problem. She's just doing him a favor. That's right. Helping him. Well, if you find out someone who doesn't know how to do something, you know how to do it. You teach them. Yeah, that's right. The next day, they work on the ornaments, but they need more inspiration. They're just not quite... He wants it to be this, like, hug. The feeling that you get when you have a hug wants that in ornament form. And, you know, it's tough.

[00:07:19] So, they head to the Christmas carnival, which is where you would get inspiration. They're having a blast until Stacy shows up. She came into town unexpectedly. And Theo was hurt when he finds out that Josh, no longer is he leaving the carnival, but he's leaving the country. He's going to Sydney, and that bums him out. Nora tells him that Josh is good on his community service and that they're not going to see him anymore. Didn't know she could do that. Thought I had to go to the judge.

[00:07:47] Josh and Sarah go to spend Christmas with his parents, and he gifts them with a retirement home inside of a community, something that they didn't ask for and are clearly offended by. Josh feels discouraged by this. Really thought he was knocked out of the park. By telling his parents they're going to die? That's crazy. That's exactly right. And so, he goes for a walk and is struck by inspiration after talking to his high school

[00:08:16] art teacher. He runs to give Theo an ornament that he made that is perfect. It's got angles, and it's everything that he could have possibly hoped for. Nora is shocked to see Josh again, but sees the ornament and is like, come on in. And they bring the ornament to the contest, and it wins. Winner. We love it. Sarah shows up as this contest is happening, and is like, you said you were dropping off an ornament.

[00:08:45] Typically, that implies you're going to be back, but that's fine. You weren't back, and I found you, so all good here. She watches as Theo shares a hug with Josh and Nora, and there's a moment there where she's like, huh, huh. And so, when they return to the parents' house, Sarah tells him that she can tell that something has changed in him.

[00:09:11] She says that she is going to Sydney tomorrow because that is what she wants, and it is up to him to decide if that is also what he wants still. And so, before he can respond, lightning crashes, and the power goes out. And that, my friends, was Holidays Episode 2 to the Hill family. We did it. We did it. Let's set. Thank you, Aaron. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think it's all right. Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

[00:09:40] We'll come back. It's no four minutes, 24 seconds, but we'll get there. Let's take a break. We'll come back, and we'll break this episode down. Not even a record anymore. Here on Deck the Hallmark. I just wanted it to be over so badly, Brian. What? I said Merry Christmas. I just decided the show was over. Yeah. That's fair. Well, it's not. It's time for us to break down holidays. We're going to start on our hot takes.

[00:10:10] It's where we share our thoughts on this episode, the Hill family. We do not hold back. And I will start with you, Alonzo. Alonzo, what'd you think? Well, it's funny. I can't hear the phrase the Hill family without thinking of Kenneth from 30 Rock talking about the Hill people. Yeah, of course not. Hill people milk and whatnot. So, yeah. This is a fun episode. It's trafficking in a lot of familiar Hallmark tropes.

[00:10:34] We've seen the, like, cold-hearted business people who want to design homes for other cold-hearted business people. And one of them learns that, oh, wait, humans. You know, but, like, here's the thing. I think this whole episode is really about Sebastian Billingsley Rodriguez. Remember that name, kids. He plays Theo in this. You also saw him recently in the Best Christmas Pageant ever. And he is nailing it. He's excellent.

[00:11:04] It's so good. And, you know, like, Hallmark kids can be iffy at best. What? And this kid is, like, really, I think, you know, making a character who is quirky but believable and, you know, vulnerable and not too precocious. Like, I think he's dynamite. I found his scenes with Ian Harding much more interesting than Ian Harding's scenes with Aaron Cahill. They're fine.

[00:11:33] They're doing what they're supposed to be doing. But I think the kid really elevates this thing. But, you know, it's fine. I think this is not necessarily one of my favorite of the many stories we're going to encounter over the course of this series. But I can see why they started with it because I think it's the one that feels among the Hallmarkiest for viewers who are digging into it. I would agree with that.

[00:11:59] It is, let's be honest, this is very little to do with the Hill family itself. It should just be titled Josh and occasionally his parents, but almost mainly Josh. Yes. And so... They're going to be gone soon, so it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter. They're on their way out. They're basically on their way out. You're Twilight years. That's right. At this point. But, yes, I did feel like this is the most Hallmark-y.

[00:12:25] And in a way, I was a bit disappointed by that because the first one felt so different and this one felt like something I had seen before. But of things that I have seen before, I like this thing. It is a thing that I like. And so I did enjoy this. I liked the two together. I thought that Ian Harding and Aaron Cahill were wonderful. And I really... That hug scene didn't think it would work for me. And then the longer that they hugged... It was like that eight-second... What was that thing that happened? Yeah, the eight-second hug. Yeah, it was weird. It starts out weird. You're like, it's weird. And then you're like, oh, it's nice.

[00:12:54] It's nice that they're hugging. So, yeah, overall, just okay. Mainly just because I wasn't surprised by anything that happened in this episode. And I felt like in episode one, I never quite knew what was going to happen. And this one, it was all the beats that you're familiar with, albeit lovely, lovely beats indeed. Dan? Yeah, at this point, I'm just echoing the sound of the echo echoing the echo.

[00:13:18] I don't have anything new to tell you aside from I realized halfway through this, this might be the storyline I'm least interested in. And that is shocking considering how I do think that Aaron Cahill and Ian Harding have good chemistry. Alonzo's not wrong about the kid. Theo, what's his name again, please? Because I did not write it down. Sebastian Billingsley Rodriguez. Sebastian Billingsley Rodriguez. The kid's great.

[00:13:43] We have to deal with the fact that in Vancouver, Winnipeg, and Toronto, there's like a lot of kid actors that end up getting hired by some of these production companies that aren't given a lot of training. And they just go out there and it is line reading. And that's where they, you know, figure out how to act. And we have to watch it. That's not what's going on with Mr. Rodriguez here. He is giving a performance. It's great.

[00:14:10] But yeah, this is a 45 minute Hallmark movie is all this is. I appreciate that everybody acts pretty much above board in the movie, in the, in the 42 minute mini Hallmark movie that we get here. There is no real cliffhanger. He's clearly going to stay. And it's the most generic of them.

[00:14:27] Like I found myself like appreciating what was happening on screen, but thinking I can't wait to get back to some of these more nuanced or different storylines that we have here in holidays. And I'm glad we just kind of got this one out of the way, which I can't believe I'm saying because on the surface, these actors would maybe be a real highlight. So yeah, just kind of run of the mill Hallmark with great performances.

[00:14:56] But not, not something that I was nearly as interested in as I was the first episode. And I'm hoping that that's not a harbinger of things to come. It's time for all the feels where we talk about what in this episode gave us feels Alonzo. Yeah. Again, like I think the Josh stuff is, or sorry, the Theo stuff is so well put together where like he, you know, he's, he can be kind of whiny, but at the same time, like he, you know, he, he's insightful.

[00:15:23] And, um, I love the way, like when Nazine contractor comes, uh, sweeping in as, as horror girlfriend, um, she speaks to him in that condescending way that adults speak to children and he clocks it immediately. And it's just like, he's just like, deals with her in a very formal way. Cause he can tell that she is giving, you know, just that kind of like that, that veneer of, oh, aren't you precious? You know, kind of thing with him.

[00:15:53] Um, you know, I think the, uh, the, the, the, the Hallmark works the dead parent thing harder than Disney does. But I will say that the thing about the, the, the, the, the, the talisman that the, the kid has at the dad gave him to keep the bad dreams away is lovely. And the way, and the way that that is, um, the, the, the button that they put on that is, is quite nice. Uh, so yeah, there's some feels here. Yeah.

[00:16:20] I mean, I, I, uh, the, the ornament, the, everything like the kid, the fact that the kid was kind of wanting, like he was describing what it was that he was wanting. And then when it finally happens, when he finally gets it, everything's kind of tying back to his dad, I thought was very sweet. And so, uh, uh, it was strong. It was a strong moment, Dan. There's a rendition of Oh Holy Night. Oh, thank you. Yes. This episode by a band called Branches, which Bran has heard of cause he's into the music.

[00:16:48] Um, I only listened to bands that start with B-R-A-N. B-R-A-N. Does she bring them in the books? Yes, exactly. I, I Shazammed it for that very reason. Uh, Branches. Branches get a Shazam bump. That's right. From Hallmark Plus. That's right. Oh Holy Night by Branches. Really, really enjoyed it. Fun list and you should check it out. There you go. Hey, let's do this. I love this. I love all right. I knew you were going to say take a break and I love it. I think it's a great idea. It's one of your better ones. We love break. We love it. We'll be right back here on Deck the Hallmark. Deck the Hallmark.

[00:17:18] I love this. Merry Christmas. Welcome back everybody. It's Deck the Hallmark. Hopefully you're watching us. Philo. Philo. DTH. This is always a good episode to watch because you get to see Alonzo's face. Yeah, that's right. Look at it. Repping his alum, the Commodores. Oh, look at him go. I hear our basketball team is like doing things. That's why you're wearing it. SEC is a tough basketball company. That was it. He's right. He's excited about it.

[00:17:48] Let's get to the wait. What's the way we're talking about? What in this episode made us go? Wait, what? I'll start with you, Alonzo. So I agree with you that the ornament is an emotional fulfillment. Thrilled you guys were invested in that ornament. I'm also going to say that the ornament is garbage. Yeah. It's weird looking. I think unless you know exactly what their intent was, like the only way that ornament wins a contest is if it is hanging in a gallery with a card next to it explaining what it is and why.

[00:18:17] If you just look at this thing and it's a round piece of plastic with some like shiny stuff and a little blanket and a pine cone in it, you're like, I don't. Okay. You know? So, and the thing is like they set themselves up for failure in a way because the kid's idea for the ornament is so abstract and so not, you know, like he's, the kid is describing a vibe basically that we're trying to turn into a physical object.

[00:18:47] And it would be nearly impossible to do it. And this movie does not do it. So, uh, you know, nice try, I guess. If the premise of the show is that all of these people live in the same cul-de-sac, why does she need to give him a ride home? Yeah. Yeah. I don't get that at all. Does Sheriff Nora not live in the same cul-de-sac with all the other families involved? Or I like that, that kind of loses me. Speaking of Sheriff Nora, does she ever police? No.

[00:19:16] Because she's just got all day to hang out at carnivals and, uh, ornament making sessions. And it's like, lady, like crime is running rampant in the streets of small town, USA, Fortin Wild or whatever we're calling this town. Like, like what, what is even happening here? She, she just seems to, you know, be, uh, unless Nora though, that's Nora. Like if Josh isn't doing things like that, she can't be bothered with anything.

[00:19:43] Um, and then yeah, just the, the ornament competition itself. It's like, we're coming off of that ridiculous gift wrapping competition in all of the unwrapping Christmas movies. And now it's like, this child is up against like, I'm imagining, you know, like adult serious artisans and crafters for this. Like, can it just not be. And like, they can be happy with it. Does that have to win a ribbon too? Come on.

[00:20:09] Can you imagine somebody who just spends their whole year crafting an ornament for this competition? Like from out of town, like drives in from the nearest non-ornament contest town and shows up and loses to that thing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my. There's just no way. I decoupaged this thing for three months and you're telling me you're giving it to the plastic orb with the shiny stuff. Oh man.

[00:20:32] Um, I have a few, uh, one of the, the movie starts, he's talking to, uh, Sarah and I don't, what hat, like those AirPods look ginormous coming out of her ears. And I don't know if it's like they were, they weren't real and they just made like, what do you think they look like? Like, like, like a AirPod mascot. Yes. Yes. They came out of the 3d printer and they were like, we must've got the dimensions wrong, but we done goofed or something we can do. Or a Nasnean contractor's head down.

[00:21:02] Or is like Nasnean just like a tiny, tiny little head. And then the AirPods just looked massive in, in, in her ears. I don't know the answer to it, but they did look massive and that's what we're doing here. Well, uh, the, uh, listen, I don't know, uh, what I got to do. Uh, obviously I, I, I would have to do a crime to get community service. So I know how, how to get community service, but if I was given community service, what do I got to do to get this community service that he's getting?

[00:21:29] Which is basically like help decorate for Christmas. That's great community service. Pretty good community service. I know there he's up against it. He's going to Sydney and they're trying to like be nice, but like, that's really great community service. He should be picking up garbage by the freeway. 100% he should, instead of helping all of the volunteers do their job. Or as I said last week, he should have just left town. Well, yes, you could do that. Yes.

[00:21:54] Um, I did get a kick out of the fact that they finished for the day and he's like, I'm out of here. And they, uh, Theo and Nora drive by right outside of the community center. And Theo's like, wait a second. Is that Josh? Yeah, man. You guys just left from the same place at the same time. It's crazy how that works when someone says they're going to walk home and you're going in the same direction. It's crazy. Wait a second.

[00:22:24] I thought I was never going to see him again. The odds of seeing you right after we just saw you are crazy. Um, and when you play peekaboo with him, he thinks you've disappeared. That's right. That's right. Where'd it go? Um, and then during the, uh, hugging tutorial, uh, that is given by, uh, Nora, Nora says. I saw a hugging tutorial a lot. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Unbelievable. Um, one of the tips that she gives is never go in light in terms of pressure. I don't know if that's a great.

[00:22:52] And I think that's like dependent on. Who you're hugging. Yeah. Who you're hugging. How much pressure do they consider to be? Cause if I'm like, I don't know. I just feel like that, that could be bad. Like that could not go well for you. If, if someone hears that and goes, okay, never go light in terms of pressure. You can't, you can't hug Theo with the same pressure that you hug Nora. There's a, you gotta. Sorry about your spine, grandma. That's exactly right. I was told that never goes on.

[00:23:21] I always go hard with pressure. That's what I was told. I'm sorry that I, that I broke your back. I took a, a, a hugging tutorial and they said, they said never go light in terms of pressure. Never Dan. Yeah. Not only does, uh, Aaron Cahill never really police, but when she does, she does like everything that we hate about police officers. Um, like, let me call in a few favors. Let me use my lights.

[00:23:48] As I get to the craft store. She has her lights on, on her police officer car. As she's entering the car. Why? Why do you have your lights on? So you didn't have to deal with the red lights on the way to the Michaels. Uh, I, I, I can't believe that. Let me lock somebody who's not under arrest in the backseat of the patrol car. Let me decide if you get community service. Like everything. Like she's a terrible police officer.

[00:24:17] She's really, really bad at it. And it needs to be said. And I, I hope this is the end of all of that, but she doesn't ever work. She doesn't shoot anybody. She doesn't shoot. And that's a win. Maybe that's not the worst thing. That's right. When that's true. That's true. Um, I got a couple of big ones here. I can't believe that none of you mentioned him getting a home, uh, like an assisted living home for his Gen X parents. Nobody, the guy, the guy who plays his dad is 52 years old.

[00:24:48] I like this is tone deaf. This is unbelievable. Alonzo, wait until you find out what we got you as a deck. You're going to love it. I just figured it was of a piece with the power bowls and the blender. They never use. Like this guy clearly doesn't get it. You know, he gives them like, it is the best. It's not like he's like, Hey, I'm going to Australia. I'm going to be there for 30 years.

[00:25:13] He buys them a, like he buys them a place to die. He buys, he, and he does it. And he thinks he's crushing it in this gift. And it is, he can't believe that they're mad at him. He can't believe that they're mad at him. And I just, I was mad at him. Like I was mad at him just secondhand for this. I just, I couldn't get over it.

[00:25:39] It falls under the category of thing you would discuss with them first. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. And he doesn't, he surprises them with a, a, a assistant. Oh my gosh. I bought you a house that comes with a nurse. Yeah. What are you doing? Stop it. But, uh, we gotta, we gotta get down to brass tacks here. Um, there's a Christmas carnival in this episode that I assume is only around during Christmas season. I would hope so. Okay.

[00:26:08] And there's a game where you try to throw something at these inflatable penguins and you got to knock these penguins down. Right. Everybody with me? So love it. And then Theo wins. He beats Josh at this game and he goes crazy winner winner. And Josh looks at Aaron Cahill, Nora, and he goes, I let him win. And then Nora goes, Oh really? And then she gestures to a sign behind Josh and Josh moves.

[00:26:32] And we find out that the, the all time winner of the knock down the penguins game at this Christmas carnival is Theo. He has won this game 478 times. Are they, are police officers made of money in this town? He's won it. How many times have you played a carnival game in your life, in your life? How many times have you attempted one?

[00:27:00] This kid, this kid who's eight years old has won a carnival game 478 times, 477 on the sign plus the one. Let's do a quick math. Let's do a quick math here. Okay. So he's how old is he? Maybe eight. He's eight. How old is he? So if it's around for, let's say two months out of the year. Okay. So that's like what? 60 days. Let's be generous. He goes every day. Is it even mathematically possible? From when he's throwing.

[00:27:29] If he's eight, it's 60 times, 480, 60 times a year, but he'd have to win as a baby. What if it's not the number of times he's won, but it's a score? Well, that would make more sense, but everybody, it doesn't say top score. It says all-time winners. We rewound it. That's interesting, though. This guy? That would help. Can you imagine being the guy that has won the most times at a carnival game, first of all? Being that guy.

[00:27:57] And then that guy being a child and that child having won it 478 times by the time he's eight years old. I have to imagine, to Alonzo's point, there was some wires crossed. And whoever was making the prop thought is score. Yes. That has to be. But I'm pretty sure- How many cruddy stuffed animals does he have in his attic? Yeah. And they need that money back. It could have been a college fund for that kid. Because he's lost some, too. He's not undefeated. He's not 478-0.

[00:28:26] We don't know that. I mean, if he started at baby, he never lost his baby? He never lost his baby. But I'm pretty sure Aaron Cale's character says, look who's won the most in history. Like, I just, I couldn't get past this seat. Like, literally for the rest of the episode, I just kept talking to Brand going, there's no way an eight-year-old's won that game 478 times. Maybe there's also a summer carnival. Yeah, maybe it's a summer. It comes back to the- Summer penguins. They're penguins that like the warm weather. That's the kind of penguins that they like. Penguins.

[00:28:55] And then lastly, they buy a bike, and the bike has not been put together yet. And first of all, rare, rare occasion. I have my first bike my kids had when they were three or four years old was from Amazon. I had to put it together. But it still comes with the frame all done. It's very, I mean, under 10-minute process. But they talk about this bike for this child. Like, if you don't get started right now and put it in together, you're not going to finish. And where did you buy this bike?

[00:29:23] Like, bikes usually come, it's chain. Your chain has to go on. But I'm pretty sure a bike for eight-year-old, you just, it's not a thing. This isn't a, like, are you forging the steel for this bicycle? Like, it's just bicycle, right? It's just a single, like, I couldn't seem like a weird, weird thing to me. That's all I got. It's time for, oh, what did we call it? Holly or Dazed. Holly or Dazed. Yeah. I remember that for sure.

[00:29:51] Alonso, remind us how to do this. Can we do it like what the Hallmark? Yeah. I thought it was like, you know, your hopes and your values. I love that. Your Holly or your Dazed. Yeah. My Holly is the Branches song that Dan wrote. Like, it was rare that I feel like Shazamming a Hallmark movie. And I was like, oh, hey, this is all right. Yeah. My Dazed is still the continuing lack of commitment to the fact that this is supposed to be December.

[00:30:22] Everybody's looking real, real summery and the sun's real bright. And the commitment to scarves is minimal. Except, of course, for BJ Harrison, who's been in a million of these and knows exactly what the assignment is, who plays the art teacher. Yes. My Holly is, I would like to take part in Christmas Carnival. And I'm surprised we don't have one. Yeah, we should have one. We have the Christmas markets. We have markets galore. We have Christmas. But the Christmas market's a big deal. Yes.

[00:30:52] Carnivals, though? We don't. We don't. Not even festival. You know, they might consider what they do out there at the Speedway. Yeah. They might consider that. I don't. So I'd like it. I'd like it. Get a booth at the market. Set up the penguins. And then everybody who plays, if you win once, it counts for 100. Don't ask. It's the only way mathematically to make this work. So he's 1.78 times? Yes, he is. Okay. All right. If you say so. Whatever. Divide it by, like, what's realistic? Divide it by eight. Divide it by eight. Let's say he's won eight times.

[00:31:21] So a little bit less. It's not going to be exact. But with nine points and it's 477 points, that means he would have won 53 times. There you go. There you go. 53 times. That feels good. Let's do that. Let's do that. Let's do that. Let's go with that one. I like that one a lot. My days is I forgot that this was all going to come together at the end and we're getting towards the end of the episode. And I remembered that we're not going to get a resolution. And that kind of made me sad. And then and I'm not going to get a resolution on this story in particular for another six weeks. Am I doing that? Pretty much.

[00:31:51] And so I'm going to forget. I know myself. I'm going to forget. I'm going to forget what happened. I'm going to be like, oh, what is he doing there? I thought he was getting an ornament and hugging people. I'm going to be confused. And so I'm sure there will be a previously on holidays. Previously on. And then Dan will skip it. And so it's tough. It's tough for me to figure it out as we go. Dan, if I ever watch a previously on wind calls the heart, you just punch me straight. What a waste. You're saying Dan. So much to keep up with, though.

[00:32:18] It was like, do you remember when they do the next episode on Mad Men? Do you remember that? You never knew what it meant. It was literally like, shut the door. Yeah. They're going to do that? What do you mean? Yeah. Hand me a cigarette. Like, it's like nothing. For you that's not watching Wiggles the Heart, Alonzo, it's been previously on. We learned about dancing. Previously on. We tried some dancing. That's right. Previously on. They danced. That's right. So that's how the season's going. It's going awesome. It's going well.

[00:32:44] My Holly is whoever this human being is that is staying at Nora and Theo's house. Because Sarah drew over a mistletoe murder. We know who she is. What's her name? She comes in. She's the daughter. Yes. I don't know her name. She's visiting. We do see her. Gabby. Hey, Gabby. Gabby. Sarah drew over a mistletoe murders could learn a thing or two about how to exit and enter a building completely inconspicuous.

[00:33:11] Like she shows up in this scene where they're going to kiss and you don't hear a door. You don't hear anything. I don't even know how she got in the house. She's sneaky that Gabby and good for her. My dazed is I'm very confused at how Ian Harding storms out of house with iPad drawing and gets to Nora's door with actual ornament. In the same evening, he's like, I've got it. And he draws this ornament.

[00:33:39] And that evening he shows up and shows Theo the ornament. And I don't know how that happened. I'm dazed and confused. You could say. At how he leaves house with iPad and shows up at door in same cul-de-sac, I might add. Yeah. So it is a 200 foot walk. He went to craft store first. And made ornament. And made ornament. Wow. Wow. What a night for this guy. Impressive.

[00:34:08] The only thing I can figure is that Nora doesn't live in the cul-de-sac. I guess. Either way, I still know how he did it one evening. Sure. That's such a specific design. That would take some doing. And then if he did that in less than an hour, imagine all these other ornament design contestants who spent their lives once again. Did he 3D print this? Is this a joke to you? I don't know. I don't know. But there are some serious ornament designers out there who are real upset at Ian Harden. This is my career, kid.

[00:34:37] I have spent 20 years. I studied at the Sean Astin School of Ornament Design. And you get an iPad, a Hobby Lobby in an hour, and you come and take my ribbon. I feel like I'm Brian here asking for more practice. But to go from, okay, here is a, apparently what happened here, best we can figure, is he looked at the house or whatever that they were architecting, made some changes, and that became ornament. Because he goes in there and he's like, change this, do the wall.

[00:35:06] She's like, we don't want curved walls. And then that becomes ornament. And so I don't know how, what we don't get is any explanation of how they went from that to ornament. Because he says the drawing has spires reaching out to eternity. Guess what doesn't have that? Ornament. Ornament. I don't know. I don't know. I would have liked a little bit more ornament creation, to be honest. I love the idea of the kid wanting to house his father and the memories in the ornament. I love that idea.

[00:35:32] I don't think that we quite nailed it with competition and design. But I love the idea. There you go. There you go. Conceptually, it works. Very similar to how we had it right on the page. And then how did they design it? I don't know. All right. Well, we did it, everybody. Next week, the Lynn family is who we're going to be hanging out with. So come on back. We'll hang out with the Lynn family. It's going to be a lot of fun. And of course, we will be back tomorrow with another episode. Until then, maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas! Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast.

[00:36:02] It's produced by Aaron Shea. What? For more information on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV. For a free trial of Philo, go to philo.tv.dth. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening. Or don't listen.

[00:36:32] It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.