Home Alone 3 (1997) ft. Alonso Duralde

[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Bram and I love Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise Christmas movies. I'm Alonso and... AHHHHH! And this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast! Deck The Hallmark, it's his podcast. Fa la la la la Manfriend's host, his podcast.

[00:00:20] Fa la la la la la la la la We hope you like this jolly podcast. Fa la la la la Well, hello everybody and happy Christmas in July. It might not look it today, but it might look at tomorrow. You think it'll look at tomorrow?

[00:00:41] I might, it might look at tomorrow. Yeah, we have the May flowers up. We've had them up for a long time. They were definitely, we're definitely not recording this in June. We're definitely not recording this in June. It's Christmas in July.

[00:00:52] I came in today and I was like, what if we did the May flowers? Yeah, we actually, Erin had actually decorated for Christmas. She literally put the last piece of tape on. Dan came in, threw the tree out. Not today. Put the flowers back up.

[00:01:04] That's right, not today. That was messed up, man. She worked really hard on that. Christmas in July is such a scam. I just, yep. Oh, look at this. Oh, swim swim to you. That's right, exactly. I love it. Happy Christmas in July.

[00:01:20] We've got, it's going to be so much fun this July. We're doing so, we're going to be covering some ABC Family Classics with Ryan throughout the month. We're going to be doing some Lifetime Christmas Classics with Patrick, of course.

[00:01:33] There's a few new Hallmark movies that we're going to be covering. It's featuring Brian Harrell, featuring Brian, of course. And then on Mondays, we're going to be heading looking back to 2023, some more to see if we can find a worse movie. We're not, we're not.

[00:01:50] We're going to be covering some classics. Maybe not who's who can say, but Alonzo, you once wrote a book called Have Yourself a Movie, A Little Christmas that was at the time, the exhaustive list of Christmas movies. You wrote the book on Christmas movies. We'll just say it.

[00:02:07] I mean, I would never call it exhaustive or comprehensive because there's always stuff that falls between the cracks or that, you know. Yeah, I wouldn't say anything. I didn't say that. We would never say any of those things. Not ever.

[00:02:17] But what we're going to do, and this is fun for the rest of the year until we get to count down to Christmas. These are movies that even you, the Christmas czar of all Christmas movies have not seen.

[00:02:31] Some I haven't seen or some I just haven't written about in full detail as I do in Movie Little Christmas. So I thought it'd be kind of a fun way to sort of like update the listings and talk about it. In real time. I love it.

[00:02:43] I love it. So of course, go get yourself Have Yourself a Movie, A Little Christmas if you would like to see all the movies that he's, what year did that come out at this point? 20, 20, 10. Wow, man. That's wow. You might even met. I graduated high school that year.

[00:02:58] Stop. Get absolutely kick rocks. I can't control it. Man, that's brutal. 2010. You know what? I've never seen a Hallmark movie back then. That's crazy. That's crazy. So it was a whole better. That was a whole lifetime ago.

[00:03:17] So a lot of movies have come out since and a lot of the movies that we're going to be covering on Mondays are post 2010, but there's also a handful of movies that you just didn't cover in the book that you would like to talk about now.

[00:03:28] And the first of which is Home Alone 3, which we're excited about. But while you're buying books. Hey, now I'll be home for Christmas movies. That's great. Yeah, great job with the camera work too. We got them all.

[00:03:42] I'll be home for Christmas movies and when's it going to be Christmas again? Yes, for your Christmas July treats. That's right. Absolutely. So that's nice. Awkward silence, effort. That's nice. Yep. You could at this point, you get three Christmas, you know, this one, that one movie, Little Christmas.

[00:04:00] That's three. You only need one more and you'll have a book every week for Christmas in July. So just something to think through. Easy. When we should write, when's it going to be fourth of July again? When's it going to be? I have thought about a sequel.

[00:04:12] When's it going to be like Halloween again or something like that? Because the spookies are always. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. We'll tell you. We wrote about how they didn't care about Halloween. But now they do. They're older. They're older. Okay. They're older. Yeah.

[00:04:22] Well, my kids asked to talk about what they're going to be for Halloween. Yes. Yeah. Might as well. Maybe it's not. When's it going to be Halloween again? Maybe I'm going to be. I don't know. We'll workshop.

[00:04:32] We'll workshop at Home Alone three is what we're talking about today. The, I believe the final theatrical Home Alone movie. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I went straight to elsewhere. Straight to elsewhere. Physical media. Well, did they premiere on cable and then get on physical media?

[00:04:52] Were they like, I think about four and five. Four was a home video. Five was ABC family. Family. It was a Disney plus. All right. We did it. December 12th 1997 is when this movie premiered in the theaters. And what a little something like this.

[00:05:11] The movie starts off with four criminals. You got Peter. You got Alice. He got Burton. You got Earl Burton. Not Burton. Not Burton Ernie. Burton and Earl. They are internationally wanted criminals. That's exactly right. They, they are working with a terrorist organization to steal an important microchip.

[00:05:35] They get that microchip and they are going to hide it in a remote control toy car. Cause airports. Of course airports. Cause airports. Um, but oh, the luggage is a luggage switch them up.

[00:05:49] And, uh, the luggage that has the car in it actually is in an elderly passenger named Mrs. Hess, uh, her luggage and she is in Chicago. So the baddies head to Chicago. Now, Mrs.

[00:06:02] Hess is neighbors with the Pruitt family and she hires eight year old Alex Pruitt to shovel her walk and pace him with you guessed it, the remote control car. So Alex gets home and he realizes that he has chicken pox.

[00:06:19] And so he is going to be stuck at home for a while. Luckily for Alex, he loves spying on people and has more than any kid should have a gear to spy on people. And so he's looking through binoculars and telescopes and other stuff to really look

[00:06:39] into the blinds of his neighbors. And as he is doing that one day, he spies some burglars. The baddies have come to Chicago. They were able to track down where the taxi driver dropped off Mrs. Hess, but the general area, he didn't, he didn't know that.

[00:06:57] So, um, they are going to have to break into a whole block of houses. So they get going. He spies the burglars. He calls 911, but the baddies are gone when the police show up. And so, hey, don't do that again, kid.

[00:07:11] The next day he does the same exact thing. He sees the baddies across the street, calls 911. The burglars are able to hide by like being up in the rafters of the basements that the police don't look up. That's the thing. They always just look straight forward.

[00:07:27] Can't look up. And so, um, the police chief comes to Alex and he says, don't call us again. Basically, like I don't really care what happens. We will not be. We're not going to, we're not going to police for you anymore. You've lost your police privileges.

[00:07:45] So he's like, I know what I saw and I'm going to prove that I have seen this. And so he straps a video camera to the top of the remote control car.

[00:07:56] And he has rigged it in such a way to where the camera, even though it is outside of his house is showing up on the TV. Don't ask. Does it matter? It's a remote situation.

[00:08:07] And so he sends a remote control car into the house that would be next on the list of houses that the burglars are going to come for. And sure enough, there they are. And the burglars see this car and they are trying to get it.

[00:08:22] They end up grabbing the car and ejecting the tape and taking it. But the car ultimately is able to get away. And so when Alex sees that even after taking the tape, the burglars are still going after this remote control car.

[00:08:38] Alex, this eight year old is able to deduce something must be inside this car that these burglars want. And so he looks throughout this remote control car and finds the microchip. And so he calls the military. Who better to call than the military?

[00:08:55] They will know what to do, but they don't really do anything about it. The Air Force is like, we'll pass it along to see what we can do. So he takes matters into his own hands, knowing that the baddies are going to come back because

[00:09:09] he has the remote control car. He sets up a bunch of traps throughout his house to make sure that these baddies get what they have coming for him. And he starts off strong with electrocution and home alone, too. We work our way there. We work our way there.

[00:09:28] They've already gone through a whole house full of stuff like a hot doorknob. You know what I mean? No, no, no, no. Start with electrocution and work our way up. So there's traps. There's tomfoolery, some good traps, not so good traps.

[00:09:44] But overall, you know what we're talking about here. Alex is able to get across the street to Mrs. Hess's house, who is taped up because they found her. And they're like, we're not going to let you come and save the day. So he saves her.

[00:09:59] One of the baddies tracks him down and gets scared because Alex has a gun. It's a bubble gun, gum, folks. It's a bubble gun. It is not a real gun. But that guy doesn't know that. So he runs away. The police come. They arrest all the guys.

[00:10:16] Then the military show up and they go, hey, this is a pretty big deal, buddy. You did a pretty, pretty, pretty good thing here. And they give him a nice little reward. And he is now the coolest kid in the family.

[00:10:30] And his family is happy that he is safe. And that, my friends, was Home Alone 3. We did it. We did do it. Let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll break this movie down here on Deck the Hallmark. Hello, everybody. Welcome back. We're talking about Home Alone 3.

[00:10:58] Now, we talked a little bit about our feelings on Home Alone before we started recording how you and I adore these movies because part of it was age in which we saw them. We saw them as children. Alonzo, you did not see them as children.

[00:11:13] And so you don't care about this franchise as much. Not really. No, I mean, by the time, you know, if you see this movie for the first time and you're the age of the burglars, you know, it goes down different. What can I tell you? Yeah.

[00:11:27] But Dan, you and I both hold the opinion that Home Alone 2 is the better. The correct opinion. Opinions are all subjective aside from this one, which is that Home Alone 2 is the superior film to Home Alone 1. And you and I talk about this all the time. Yes.

[00:11:40] It's just common parlance here at the studio that we will just be like, how do people not get it that Home Alone 2 is the movie? Dan, really quickly, Aaron, if you could go wide to Dan's cam. Dan, give me a bird lady. Come on. Thank you.

[00:11:59] We're talking Home Alone 3, though. And the final of the theatrical Home Alone. Alonzo is not amused. He loves it. He loves it. Is this a joke? Mom, Dad. Oh boy, see what did we do? What did we do? This is a joke. That's Home Alone 1.

[00:12:16] Still great moments in Home Alone. Listen, you know, Home Alone walked so Home Alone 2 could run. That's right. Like I want to be very clear. That's right. It's standing on the shoulders of a giant, right? Like I'm not like trying to.

[00:12:29] Now, I did find out via Wikipedia that Home Alone 3 was originally meant to be filmed at the same time as Home Alone 2 and star Macaulay Culkin, but it didn't work out. And so then when they came around to finally wanting to film Home Alone 3,

[00:12:47] Macaulay had decided to take a hiatus. And so they reworked this entire script. And here we are today talking about Home Alone 3. We're going to start with a hot take. We were sure exactly how he felt about this movie.

[00:12:58] Alonzo, now our second Home Alone movie that you and I are reviewing together. What did you think of Home Alone 3? Well, I appreciate the idea that this movie wants to be rear window for kids. Brand, are you familiar with rear window? I love rear window.

[00:13:18] No, no, I don't. Shia LaBeouf. I know Disturbia. Is a direct rip. Okay. Aside from the end where dude comes in and they have a full fight. It's not from that part. All right. No, that's kind of in rear window too, actually.

[00:13:32] Well, the way you saw Disturbia, the horror movie traps everywhere. I saw Eagle Eye, but not Disturbia. Yeah, well, Disturbia might be better than Eagle Eye, but it's like the end of the movie is like a horror, like a full horror movie, like trapped haunted house.

[00:13:47] And it's what I felt like we were promised going into Disturbia and then it wasn't that. Well, Brandon, sometimes you should watch rear windows. Okay. Great. But it's a Hitchcock movie.

[00:13:58] Jimmy Stewart plays a photographer who's broken his leg, like all the way up to the hip in a photographing a car race that has an accident. And so he's trapped in his apartment and uses his camera to peer into the other apartments behind him.

[00:14:14] And he thinks maybe he's seen a murder. And so, you know, that sounds great. So, you know, like that for kids. Sure. Great idea. Does this movie pull it off? Not really. It's, you know, this movie, it made me appreciate the relative subtlety of Home Alone and Home

[00:14:34] Alone two, weirdly enough, like Chris Columbus, it turns out has a much lighter touch than Roger Gosnell, who edited the first two movies and is now stepping into the director's chair. Chris Columbus gets that all the time.

[00:14:49] In fact, when I read reviews for Bicentennial Man, all I could see, I saw it a dozen times. If I had a nickel, the light touch Home Alone three still written by John Hughes, though. It is still written by Johnny.

[00:15:02] And and I was going to detour real quick about like the cast here, just because I think there are folks here that wouldn't necessarily mean anything to y'all because age thing again. So the mom is played by Haviland Morris, who is the prom queen in John Hughes's directorial

[00:15:19] debut 16 Candles. Oh, yeah. Is the is the handling of the prom queen one of that film's most problematic aspects? Yes, but not for a ball. But one of the bad guys, in fact, to be clear, Burton is played by Lenny Von Dolan, who passed

[00:15:36] away recently, who is the romantic lead and one of my favorite sort of underseen 80s movies, Electric Dreams. Yeah, which from Electric Dreams, you know, and I said that to him. It was also on Twin Peaks. He was the orchid guy, really blue eyes. Yes, him.

[00:15:52] But anyway, Electric Dreams was out of circulation for a long time. But you can stream it now. It's actually pretty fun. Y'all might actually enjoy it, I think. But the biggie here is that Mrs. Hess is played by Broadway legend Marion Seldes.

[00:16:06] This woman has five Tony nominations and a win. Wow. Like, who plays the sister, Alonzo? Oh, yeah. And Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett Johansson is in this movie. Who gets maybe four lines in this movie. Yes, barely.

[00:16:19] And this is like pre like, you know, the Horse Whisperer, Manny and low Scarlett Johansson. This is like the very beginning of her career. And that was when her name popped up in the credits, I was like, really? Yeah.

[00:16:30] So that was that that is a wacky bit to see her in this. But anyway, so far overqualified cast in many respects to do this nonsense. But I guess if you were eight at the time, like sure, why not?

[00:16:45] You know, like I it's all of these movies are so not made for me that like I can't really evaluate them in the way that the people who continue to hold them to their bosom, you know, talk about them.

[00:16:58] But I will say that even people who grew up loving the first two Home Alone's are not necessarily stands for this film. And I get why. So I had seen this movie when I was a kid and hadn't watched it since.

[00:17:15] Because why when there's the best movie of all time, Home Alone 2? Yeah, Home Alone 2. Why watch Home Alone 2? Why watch Home Alone 3? All Christmas kids catastrophe movies. So but I've seen, you know, the other Home Alone's and I've obviously I watched the

[00:17:30] most recent one that came out on Disney Plus, which I liked way more than everybody else did. But what what happens with Home Alone and what makes Home Alone 1 and 2 so great is obviously you got Macaulay Culkin just crushing it so lovable and like also just like it's

[00:17:48] just so great. And there's a reason why he was so overworked. And then you've got burglars that are funny and like as a kid kind of scary, but also kind like it was just perfect. And so what you get with Home Alone 3 is you get a new kid.

[00:18:05] So you have to you get that's a big that's a big, big shoes to fill. And I think what's his name? Alex D. Lins. Does a pretty good job. Like he you know, I you watch it and you're like, he's no Culkin. But like honestly. Pretty darn good.

[00:18:26] But then you get four burglars, all of which I don't care about at all. And this movie starts off with a 5-10 minute intro of the of getting the crime and the crime and the thing and the stuff and the explanation of who these guys are.

[00:18:44] And they're not funny. They're not scary. They're not enjoyable. The great thing about Marvin Harry is they're bad. Yeah. And you're kind of like rooting for him, kind of ready to see what they do next. Like the funny, the funny moments and none of that.

[00:19:03] They're also bad at their job. Yes. Yeah. And so I just. I don't know. It just didn't. The burglars are what really hinder this movie because you got a great cast.

[00:19:17] You got a kid that is he's no Macaulay Culkin, but he's really good at being this kid that's doing this thing. And unfortunately, the baddies in this movie are the worst part of the movie and it's pretty important part of it.

[00:19:30] And so I did like it more than I remembered liking it as a kid. And I think as a kid, you watch and you go, that's not that's not that's not Kevin.

[00:19:40] I kind of had the opposite thing here where I'm like, I don't miss Kevin as much as I thought that I would. I just really don't care about these baddies. And so liked it more than I thought that I did. But still, it's no Home Alone 2.

[00:19:53] And I think. Come on. How dare you even utter it in the same sentence? I would say same as Bran, but expand on all of that. I didn't get to see Home Alone or Home Alone 2 in the theaters. My parents didn't let me. I was under 10.

[00:20:10] They didn't like, I think, particularly the way Uncle Frank treated his family. Fair. And so I didn't see him in the theater. But what's wild is, is he would rent them and watch them at home and laugh hysterically.

[00:20:23] And so when it doesn't it doesn't penetrate the heart as well. I can tell you this. This is 100% true. When I got Home Alone 1 came out, I was in second grade. So prime Home Alone territory. And when we everybody else thought, right?

[00:20:37] Yeah, well, everybody else was at the theater. I remember like it was yesterday. Line up the door. I went to the theater under 10 times my whole childhood. We're there. All of my. I saw other friends from school there. They're all going to see Home Alone.

[00:20:47] What am I seeing? Rescuers down under. Not mad about it. Not bitter. I promise. When we when we finally see this movie, we rent it like a year or two later. I had to watch the Uncle Frank scenes in the first 20 minutes on mute.

[00:21:03] Oh, so mom and dad made me at. We sat in the room and muted the television until those scenes were done. But can Harry get his hair burnt? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. He can. He's bad guy. This was before the device that muted it. That's right.

[00:21:19] Yes, whatever that TV angel, whatever. So I was 14 when the third one came out and I was like, I'm so excited to get to go to the movie theater. And I remember walking on the theater so disappointed and I couldn't explain at 14 why it was so bad.

[00:21:36] But the thing about the first two Home Alones is they have spared no expense in the trappings of that movie. John Williams does the score. Yeah, in the first two. Oh, that's another huge thing. That score slaps. It's so good.

[00:21:50] And they go hard to the paint on Christmas in those movies. Rockefeller tree is in the second movie, right? They meet at these big Christmas locations. It is not all taking place in a home. Really, really hard on the Christmas.

[00:22:06] They bring in a lot of really big fun stuff for that. And that's just not here in Home Alone three. And now we get to the villains, the villains. This movie makes more sense than Home Alone one and two from why the kid is left at home.

[00:22:20] Yeah, like he's barely home alone in the 1990s, leaving your responsible eight year old home for an hour. Like, unfortunately, was not unusual. Mom just had to run off. Whereas the parents are straight up derelict in Home Alone one and two. Like, do we have everybody?

[00:22:35] Yeah, I get to move on it like. And so this kid's home alone until dinner time. That's right. Each night. And so this movie makes more sense and has all the plot elements. And the kid is not bad.

[00:22:50] The problem is, is it doesn't have all this great score, this great Christmas. And then the bad guys, which are all talented actors, as Alonzo has pointed out, they aren't Marvin Harry and Marvin Joe Pesci.

[00:23:02] This is literally good fellas came out like, I think a month or two before this movie raging bull. This is the gangster Joe Pesci and it is Daniel Stern pre city slickers. This is like breaking away and diner Daniel Stern goofing it up, like hamming it up.

[00:23:21] And they're so funny together. You care about those scenes so much. So by the time that we get to them frying their hand on the door or getting hit with a paint bucket, it lands because you care about their reaction.

[00:23:34] And I didn't know the names of these characters and I'm an adult in this new movie. I know the names of these four henchmen. And so it just, it just doesn't hit the same when the villains don't have that perfect,

[00:23:47] scary, funny combo that eight year olds love to see victorious Macaulay Culkin victorious over. So I don't blame Alex D Lins. I think it works more plausible as a movie, believe it or not, but it just doesn't have all the stuff that makes home alone home on two.

[00:24:04] So great. Yeah. The villains are straw men basically. And, and the, whereas home alone gives you the sort of kid fantasy of like, I have the house to myself. I can eat whatever I want.

[00:24:15] You know, that kind of thing here, the, the, the bestest movie can muster is the kid fantasy of like, I was right. Yeah. You didn't believe me, but I was right. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:24:26] But I do, I think that's partly why I liked home sweet home alone so much is because they could have easily just redone it, but the baddies in home sweet home alone, aren't your traditional baddies. They're just doing the wrong thing for the right. Yes.

[00:24:43] And so that was such a fun way to flip this franchise on its head and be like, this kid is actually pretty annoying kid. And then you got these parents that are like, try like it's, it was a really clever way to flip it.

[00:25:01] And so this movie was just a remake of home alone, but with worse baddies. And I also would say like the baddies are so nondescript and they're straw men that occasionally I just feel bad for them. Like I felt bad for Marvin Harry one time in two movies.

[00:25:15] It was when Marv gets electrocuted in the basement down there and we just see his skeleton with a beard on it. And for some reason I'm like, this seems over the line. And I think Kevin would say that.

[00:25:28] Kevin, Kevin looking back at it would be like, that was too much fourth brick. This is why I don't like home. Not that I'm going to stand for any of these movies, but I don't love home alone too, because

[00:25:43] the, the, the Marvin Harry stuff just seems extra sadistic to a point where I'm just like, like, I love all those pieces online. We're like, did Kevin grow up to be jigsaw? And then you, you know, these movies is evident that like, it just, it seems like

[00:25:59] tossing bricks off the second floor and they keep getting hit. All you do is move. You got plenty of time and they just keep getting hit in the head with a brick. Wow. A lack of reaction time comes up in this movie too, but we'll get there.

[00:26:14] In Home Alone 2's defense, it was a natural progression up from one. The thing with three is it's a new kid, new baddies, and they try to one up two. And it's like, you can't do that. You gotta work your way up to, to electrocution.

[00:26:32] I almost forgot this, which I needed to mention in the first two, we have a really good neighbor or sage advice, older person. The first one, the old guy with the, who he meets at church.

[00:26:42] There's that great scene where they talk at church and then the bird lady, it goes without saying, I mean, Home Alone 2 is a two hour movie and you can't cut a second from it. Okay.

[00:26:51] This movie, Mrs. Hess, while she may be a five-time Tony award-winning amazing Broadway actor. She's no bird lady. She doesn't add anything to the proceedings. Well, that's the writing. They don't give her anything to do. Yeah. So you just don't have the trappings just aren't here.

[00:27:07] And that's what you, you hated her from the beginning when, when she told him to stop scratching and run in front of her, you tell an eight-year-old, he can't scratch his stomach. Get out of here. Get out of here.

[00:27:17] Well, but that's your checkoffs gun for the chicken party. So that's how we know it's coming. I know. So for all the feels, we're talking about what and who he gave us feels Alonzo.

[00:27:27] I like the fact that there's in the montage of, I think, I guess of him really setting all the traps is that they play Oingo Boingo is home again. Cause I really liked that song and it fits, you know, it's thematically appropriate.

[00:27:42] So Danny Elfman actually lead singer, Danny Elfman, which we knew before this. For sure. We knew before today, I didn't do a ton of research on it. We know. Yeah. We, it's just a classic. This is the music of my youth. This is the music of my youth.

[00:27:56] You guys big fan of that one Oingo Boingo song. I know I loved it. I loved it. Home again. It's great. Um, I there's something about home alone, uh, one and two that despite it's not being it's,

[00:28:14] you know, it's just a kid stopping bad guys, but the Christmas feels of it and the snow at the end of one and like all, like they do such a good job in one. Yes. They do such a good job of making it feel like Christmas.

[00:28:30] And I felt like they did a good job of that in three as well. The snow in the movie is really great. Those plows were plowing. So, um, and like, despite the score not being there, which I think is a huge part of why

[00:28:44] this movie falls flat, um, you still do feel the Christmas and the winter. And, um, you know, part of that is that big, big theater budget, but you felt it. It wasn't a huge like drop off in regards to the aesthetics of the movie. Um, and the Christmas.

[00:29:01] So I like on January 8th when this movie is taking place. Yeah. That's not great. Uh, yeah. My feels is the kid, Alex T Lins. I, I remember leaving the theater as a 14 year old going, man, the problem is where's no McCulloch hookup. Like he's not Kevin.

[00:29:17] He never will be. But looking back, the kid is good in this movie. Like he's funny. He hits his marks. He seems younger than Kevin McAllister. Like he, he is like a whiz kid and he has some funny lines.

[00:29:30] And so, you know, he, it's very easy to make him Jake Lloyd and, and, and just put all this heap, all this nonsense on this kid. And that's what I did when I was 14 and I was wrong. I think he does a good job. Yeah.

[00:29:41] It's a thankless gig. And Dave, Dave walked in the room and he goes, who is this kid? Why don't know this kid? We look up his IMDB and I go, um, he was in Max Keeble's big move. That's right. That's it. That's the one. That's right. That's right.

[00:29:53] I'll say a quick break. We'll come back. We'll get to the weight. What's where we talk about what in a home alone. It's go wait. What? Uh, no, here on take the home. Kevin, we're back. We're talking home alone three. Uh, it's time for the way.

[00:30:18] What is where we talk about what in this movie made us bird lady, one of the greatest supporting characters in cinematic history. I, we might have to do a dis list. Stop it. Just stop it.

[00:30:31] Do we want to, do we want to tease that Alonzo is doing a dis during the month of Christmas in July and it is July dis list with Alonzo. I've already got my gloves on. Oh yeah. Let's go. You're not ready for this. It's turbo time.

[00:30:47] Just you wait, baby. He's not changing your list. It's time for the way. What? Brenda Fricker as the bird lady had already won an Academy award and she got paid way less than Macaulay Culkin for that movie. Wow.

[00:31:01] I mean, I didn't know she'd already wanted to Academy award my left foot. Oh yeah. I can't, I can't, I mean, you know, Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, it makes sense. Uh, I can't, I do. It's not surprising she got paid way less though. He's the draw, you know?

[00:31:18] Uh, yeah, no, you're right. Like, uh, Alexey Lins is giving it his best shot here. So I'm not going to throw any blame on him. Uh, okay. So my weight, what's first of all, uh, like I thought these were all Christmas movies.

[00:31:31] I'm not here for January back to school sale. Um, so I get it. The premise is that he's got the chicken pox and the kids have to go back to school and the moms at work and the internet, but somehow making this post-Christmas just already sucks.

[00:31:46] It is not, but the snow was good. Yeah. The snow is good. They, they are effective with that for sure. Um, given that these bad guys are actually looking for a toy car, they encounter a toy

[00:32:00] car, a whole bunch before one of them finally realizes, Oh, wait a minute. Could that be the one? That's right. Yep. Um, and by the way, microchip, I think it's a macro chip. Huge.

[00:32:12] Such a huge, big enough to have like an air force serial number on it that he can call in. Um, you say, you say like we're doing weight, what's for, for a home alone movie.

[00:32:24] And I mean, I will say the first two, whether or not, I think the, the, it always lands in a comedy way. I kind of feel like there's a lot of setup payoff and he's using things around the house and it all kind of makes sense.

[00:32:38] This movie parents don't work like that. Nope. They just don't, they don't have a million different things that they say and know exactly what they're saying. They're not fluent in English. Exactly. They're not there. They are ESL at best. You know, this, this pair is doing bits constantly.

[00:32:58] Um, all the stuff with like the video camera that can also, like they can both record and transmit back to you ahead of its time. There's so much going on here that like, how do you make yarn electrified?

[00:33:12] Like I would just, there's a basic logic test that I think the first two home alone movies rather stringently at least try to pass. You know, you could bring up questions about like not having a credit card at the hotel

[00:33:27] or whatever, but like, this one is just like way off in cloud cuckoo land and not even trying. You don't. And the thing is, is that home alone goes to painstaking links, uh, links to basically show every prank ahead of time. Yeah.

[00:33:43] Like almost everything in those movies, forget just the chicken pox. They introduce you to almost everything in those movies before the big finale. It's wild how much they go to.

[00:33:55] And he used to talk boy who needs a credit card when you had the top card, you got clear, clear as crystal. Yeah. They set up the tarantula, they set up like all these different things. And yeah, this movie is very lackadaisical about that.

[00:34:08] So that was the movie that he's playing, that he can rewind and hit perfectly. We suspend the disbelief that he can hit it perfectly because at least there's an effort to set up the situation.

[00:34:18] Dude, maybe the hardest I've ever laughed in a movie ever is when all those people come to get them at home alone too. And he's like, you've been smooching with everybody. Cliffs, cheeks, bony Bob, little, and it's cliffs to police officer. I just thinking about it.

[00:34:35] My stomach hurts from laughing. Oh my gosh. It's the perfect movie. Yeah. Okay. And he loves us. You tell us. We love you. This is where the age difference comes in. That's all it is. But it's fine. It's fine.

[00:34:56] Um, as we were saying about Marvin Harry, but more so here, these people have no reflexes. What none, none, no one is moving out of the way of the barbell that is rolling off the roof. Like they've got plenty of time to get out of the way.

[00:35:11] Oh my goodness. And they just, they, they cannot, uh, be bothered. So yeah, that's, those are my main ones. Um, I did get a kick out of the fact, and I think it was Aaron that pointed this out of

[00:35:25] she was watching it with us that this eight year old kid walks in from shoveling snow, doesn't take off his snow stuff. No. He's like, oh, it's, it's a seven o'clock. I gotta go feed the goldfish. Yeah. So he goes over does his weird, uh, goldfish mechanical system.

[00:35:44] And then it's like, okay, my job is done. He takes off his stuff, just the most responsible eight year old. He's, but he does throw his stuff down. So that is what it is. But he knew, listen, I got to feed my fish.

[00:35:55] If my fish, he's on a routine, if my goldfish doesn't get right catapulted fish into his tank guys immediately, I gotta get right to it. Um, if I was eight and I had this remote control car and I was trying to figure out

[00:36:12] why these baddies want it and I'm looking at it and I find a chip that big, I'm going to assume must be how it runs. Must be how the, the remote control car, it must be a unit for the remote control car. He's like, yes, duh.

[00:36:30] That's the microchip that's baddie stuff here. The size of a Mr. Good bar. He knows so clearly how remote controlled cars work that when he sees that chip, he's like, there's no, there's no freaking way. There's no freaking way this would be in here.

[00:36:46] Uh, I'm just, I was a dumb eight year old. I would've been like, oh, that's the thing for the car. That's the remote control. That's how it controls. What else would it be? Um, listen, I'm fine with a lot of things. Electric, electrical yarn. Sure. Why not?

[00:37:00] Where I do draw the line is towards the end of all the traps. Our guy, Alex just begins to get lucky. He gets real lucky. Um, specifically the bad guy has a gun, puts it down, does something and come back, comes

[00:37:20] back and picks up the wrong gun, which Alex had painted black. It's a dark gun. He had painted black and just put their willy nilly just in case like the, the chances there. That's the thing. Like a lot of this is like, okay, that's that. That's that.

[00:37:38] But towards the end, things were just going perfectly for Alex. Yeah. It was just lucky at that point. Um, last but not least, this movie does end with all of the baddies taking their mug shots

[00:37:50] and all of them having chicken pox, which means none of them, none of them had it as a kid. None of them. I had the vaccine cause I'm five. Cause you graduated in 2010. That's exactly right. Um, but none of these folks had chicken pox as a kid.

[00:38:05] So that's a tough break for them. Dano? Yeah. Back to the gun real quick. It is a good thing that this kid has such realistically like gun like toys. This kid has two toys that look exactly like real guns. Um, no, you just know what? No, they don't.

[00:38:29] When he first pulled it out of that case, which is a case that a gun would be in. Yeah. You're like, Whoa, Whoa. No, it's a dark gun. No, can't do that. Just to thank goodness. Just a dark gun. We won't get confused there.

[00:38:40] You won't pick up the wrong one by accident there. Uh, these are the worst police officers on the planet. It goes without saying, but a couple of reasons why one, they go into a house and let a dude

[00:38:49] literally above them just like core strength to the side of the wall and not even look. I mean, it's not like it's like a, like a, it's two feet away from him.

[00:38:59] Um, they're perif would have caught at one point, look at a kid and look him dead in the eye and say, don't call the police. We brought the chief of police down to give you an important message. Sean.

[00:39:12] Now I know your whole life you've been taught that police are there to help you at a call nine one one in case of an emergency, but I'm telling you don't, don't do it. Don't call us. We will not answer you. If something bad is happening.

[00:39:29] Do you know what you do? Yeah. Run, run. That's right. Don't call the police. The one, the big thing in, uh, in, in Kevin, uh, is the big thing. The big thing in the first two home alone movies is he doesn't really call the police

[00:39:45] until the end of one, I think. And it's like, why wouldn't you call the police in this movie? He does. And instead of learning like a lesson and like, instead of that, they just show up at his door and go, don't call us again. Don't call me anymore.

[00:40:01] Uh, uh, there's a part in this movie where they have a weatherman on the screen talking about how there's a massive snow storm that's coming in. And that's why it's going to be hard for the mom to get home from work.

[00:40:11] The problem is, is the radar showing that massive snowstorm is all the precipitation is all green. So universally on a radar green is rain white is snow. That has been true since Doppler's were in existence. And yet on this map, they're like, look at all.

[00:40:29] He literally is like, look at all this snow and it's all green. It's coming over Chicago. It's all green. There's no snow anywhere to be found. Um, and then lastly, Mrs. Hess, Alex finds Mrs. Hess at the end of this movie tied up.

[00:40:43] And I use that in air quotes, uh, they have wrapped. I mean, Lucas Bouchard in season 11 of when calls the heart is more wrapped up. He, she is in Scotch tape, but not connected to the chair. At one point she leans forward and it just comes with her.

[00:41:05] She, even at her age easily has the strength to Hulk out of those three layers of scotch tape, like masking, whatever, you know what I mean? I don't, I don't, I don't do tape. I've never wrapped a gift gift successfully in my life. I'm sorry.

[00:41:21] When I listen, you ever paid a room. About that painter's tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. Could have been that one masking tape. Fair enough. Uh, she, she's not connected to, and then her wrists are kind of connected to a chair,

[00:41:35] but they're like protruding out of the chair with it. Could they, this was a last minute, oh yeah, she was supposed to be tied up situation. And it's unfortunate. It's an unfortunate part of a movie that did air on the big screen.

[00:41:50] Um, so that was, we're not going to bring any discomfort to this five times. I'm Tony. That's right. Yeah. Take good care of her. She's won five Tonys, but we got to tie her up. Well, do we do we show acted? It'll be great. Yeah.

[00:42:05] She's a Tony winner. She can act easy. No problem. Uh, it is time for what the hallmark story one of what could have been maybe having some clarity, any questions that we still have Alonzo. So my big question is about something that occurred after the movie came out.

[00:42:21] Um, so Roger Ebert very often has talked about how, like, you can tell that a franchise is getting desperate when they bring spies in, you know, like when they get to like chapter three, chapter four, and it's suddenly it's like, it's hidden microfilm or like there's,

[00:42:37] they get caught up in like international espionage. That is your sign of like, we have run out of ideas. Le Cajon fall three. It was a movie and it was the microfilm. It's like, it's a, it is a trope that is recognized in movies and Ebert has recognized

[00:42:52] it as such. Also Roger Ebert liked this movie better than one or two. Look it up. Look it up, man. His review. You think I'm crazy for liking Jupiter ascending? Go read Roger Ebert review home alone three where even he's like, I don't know, maybe

[00:43:10] I was in a silly mood that day, but I had a good time and I like the better. I love how on like Roger Ebert, you never ever like had an inkling of suspicion that he was in the can for a studio.

[00:43:21] Like he was just, and I'm like, sometimes you hear stuff like this and it doesn't, it simultaneously doesn't surprise me because of Roger Ebert, but also I'm like, he had a weird day. He must have, something must've been in his drink. Like, are you kidding me right now?

[00:43:35] Get out. Look, it happens. I, I, many is the time where I like, there's a movie that people hate, you know, Madam Webb, but where am I? Can I, what I had fun with it.

[00:43:45] I'm not going to say it's a classic or anything, but like it worked for me. I'm glad I saw it, you know? So yeah, this was this and speed to a Roger Ebert's like, can't explain it, but he loves them. I, you know, it's wild. Isn't it?

[00:43:57] It's so offensive on so many levels. But when I saw Gore Verbinski's lone Ranger, I was like, I don't know why everybody hated this movie. Like, it's fine. Like for what it is, it's fine. I remember leaving the theater going, why did everybody just like loathe this movie?

[00:44:13] And I'm not seeing it since, but I, I, like, I remember that. I remember leaving the theater going, yeah, okay. It was fun. I didn't even finish that movie. Wow. Yeah. There you have it.

[00:44:21] My friend who went with me argued with me about it afterwards because I thought it was rotten and he was like, what? No, you're not alone. I mean, I also hated the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean movies so much that

[00:44:35] that were just so bloated and like useless and just like a, just a Johnny Depp film reel. And so I was like, this is a good use of Gore Verbinski. So like, this is like great. And everybody's like, no, it's not mean by comparison. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. Yeah.

[00:44:51] Um, yeah. Finding out that, uh, originally the third one was supposed to be in continuation and McCauley was going to be in it. And then things got reworked. Like how much of this was the, the thirds, you know, was, was Macaulay Culkin's Kevin

[00:45:07] McAllister going to go up against spies or was it completely reworks? Uh, would be something that I would like to know. Dano. Yeah. So I looked the movie up on box office Mojo shout out.

[00:45:18] Uh, and it's a movie that did not do well here, but did actually do well overseas. Uh, it, I made almost double the amount of money it made here overseas. It didn't crush at the box office, but it had a $35 million budget and it made $80 million worldwide.

[00:45:36] So it's not, the movie wasn't not profitable. Like it, it was a profitable film. And so I guess. Were they just, I just am curious how we went from this to direct a DVD.

[00:45:49] I like, it seems like if you can make one of these for $30 million and, and, and double it up, that's something that studios do regularly. If you can promise a studio that you double your money. Yeah.

[00:46:01] Well, but I think they probably figure, okay, we got lucky on this one, but like without Macaulay Culkin, this isn't really a franchise. It's like when they tried to make pink Panther movies without Peter Sellers.

[00:46:12] It was like, and then they did it again, even with Steve Martin, but which was me. But, but my thing is, is like, like the fast movies, fast, fast and furious movies. They tank over here by comparison to what they do abroad.

[00:46:27] And so clearly like there was a growing, I don't know, maybe I just am misreading it, but I feel like if you could go over double your budget. But the, but the fast series is very kind of plug and play in terms of who's in it.

[00:46:41] I mean, like five seconds of Vin Diesel at the end of three, you know, whereas I think they looked at the home alone thing as like Macaulay Culkin is the star of this franchise. He's the breakout. He's the one that makes it work.

[00:46:53] We tried doing one without him. And even though we got a kid who's talented and whatever, it just that, that magic, that spark wasn't there. So at this point, and I bet you the budget for this one probably went way down after Culkin was out. Sure.

[00:47:09] You know, like, yeah, John Williams, not on this, not with these bones, you know, like they had to really, you know, dial it all back. And that in turn leads to other things that make the movie less successful.

[00:47:20] And so who's to say, but I can see the train of thought from the studio being like, well, without Culkin, this, we don't really have a thing here. Dude, how much money would you pay to see a new home alone with Culkin in it? It's so much money.

[00:47:37] It doesn't have to make sense. Just Culkin is in one as one of the leads. In a, not happening. Home alone where Culkin's an adult is such, it's just. They get Daniel Stern.

[00:47:53] I do think the first, I think the, I think if ever there was a time that he might do it, he might do it. Do you watch Righteous Gemstones Alonzo? Off and on. Yeah. He, he's in one scene in Righteous Gemstones and it is phenomenal.

[00:48:09] The fact that he did. He gives an amazing performance. He's unbelievable. And the fact that Culkin did that commercial, uh, that like makes me think that maybe he's coming around to it.

[00:48:18] And you know, he has kids, I think there's something to it to where if ever there was a time. Never say never. I mean, you know, he's got this movie, the Jesse Eisenberg movies. Oh no, actually that's not him. Different Culkin. Nevermind. Anyway, it's entirely possible.

[00:48:33] But like, um, I, you know, I know that Daniel Stern, the only reason he said yes to doing two was that Fox let him direct some. Rookie of the Year. Really? That was it?

[00:48:45] Well, he, I don't know if it was, I listened to him on Mark Marin and he said, I did one. I went back, like I auditioned left and was like, I didn't do a good enough job. I'm going to go back to Chris Columbus and it was fun.

[00:48:56] But then I got to, he didn't say would let him do. He said, then I got to direct a movie called Rookie of the Year and it was a hit for the studio and they loved it and wanted me to do more. Yeah.

[00:49:07] I think that was the deal actually was that he, he said, I will do Home Alone two. If you let me direct this film and then, you know, very often those trade-offs don't go well, but Hey, we got Rookie of the Year out.

[00:49:20] It was a fantastic movie, but do you like Rookie of the Year? I like Rookie of the Year. Yes! Look at us! Freaking go. I saw it when it came out, I reviewed it and I enjoyed it. It holds up man. Just rewatched it.

[00:49:33] Uh, but Daniel Stern, I listened to him on Mark Maron. He stopped acting to just raise his family and like has like an avocado farm out in the Southwest. But now, now that all of it, he's got grandkids now.

[00:49:43] He's like, yeah, I'd be down to do more work. He said like, Oh, Mark Maron. He's like, I'm not seeking it out, but if somebody asked me to come back and do more acting, like I'd do it in a heartbeat. So, you know, look at this guy.

[00:49:54] Maybe we could de-age Joe Pesci like they did in the Irishman. Please stop selling right now. Scorsese direct. It'll be amazing. They have to ask those three once a year, right? Like, Hey, where are you out on the new home alone?

[00:50:14] Pesci's got to be in his nineties, right? How old is Joe Pesci? Uh, yeah, 81. 81. Okay. Spring chicken. Yeah. This guy. We're running out of time though. Oh my gosh. But for Pesci to have stuff done to hit, like obviously stunt double, but we're running out of time. Yeah.

[00:50:35] He doesn't have to be in all the stunts. I think he and Harry can have like an apprentice or some, some, you know what I mean? Their own kids or grandkids at this point. Yeah. Great grandkids.

[00:50:46] Even we don't have John Hughes, but whoever wrote that last one, which we do have Chris Columbus, Columbus loves Christmas. God, what are we doing guys? His filmography shows us. He loves Chris. What if they're all going on vacation and it's Rory, Kieran and Macaulay Culkin and

[00:51:04] their families? Are they all three in the first one? I know one of them plays the cousin who wets the bed. Right? Yeah. I don't remember which one that's in the second one. He's in both. He's in both. The second one's where he wets the bed though.

[00:51:20] I think it's always sipping on. I think it's well, it's just scuffed in the first one because that's what he does. Well, it's just scuffed in the first one because that's why Kevin winds up sleeping in the attic and then I think it's right.

[00:51:30] Why do I remember this better than you do? Come on. Easy kid. The sheets are packed. Yeah. Yeah. Classic line from uncle Frank, which you've never heard until it does it. What are we doing? Yeah. Are we making? How can we do this?

[00:51:45] How can we make this happen? I'll have it happens somewhere on the Fox lot now at Disney every three months. Yeah. Someone has this conversation. I'm sure. Um, all right. We did it, everybody. We're going to be back.

[00:51:59] At least for hopes and hope they got buzz at an inopportune time because like didn't the movie come out and then like buzz got arrested for something or something. Oh no. I don't know. No one talked about it. It was like, oh, there's buzz. That's too bad.

[00:52:13] Couldn't get called criminal record. All right. We'll be back next week. And we are going to go not that far back only to 2019. And we're going to talk about last Christmas. Oh boy. I've also seen that movie once. What should to give it another shot?

[00:52:32] That's what I'm interested in doing. Ditto. Okay, great. Until then, maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmarks of Bramble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shay. For more information on deck the homework, you can go to deck the hallmark.com for information

[00:52:47] on the deck, the Hallmark family. You can go to bramble jam plus.com deck. The Hallmark is presented by Philo TV for a free trial of Philo. Go to philo.tv slash DTH.

[00:53:01] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. Is that the end of the show? I mean, you're listening to me. Hi, but here they come.

[00:53:16] I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.