Love by Design (UpTV - 2024) ft. Jacklyn Collier

[00:00:00] Hi I'm Brandon I love up TV movies. Hi I'm Jack and I like up TV movies. I'm

[00:00:10] Dan and I despise up TV movies and 2024 with love by design a title that has not been taken and not to be confused with Love in design another pergola love movie. Yes, and Andrew Walker Danica McKellar movie where he does make a pergola for her

[00:01:42] Yeah, pergola

[00:01:47] Zebo who knows there's also another it's Andrew. Oh my god. I'm so sorry that's not know the name of Andrew Garfield out on her. Here's a thing is Oh, Donald Glover. Donald Glover, of course. Why is, what's the Gambina doing on there? You want to be on his next album? I just want to hang out with him. I also do with like, I would like to hang out with him. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a fun time. That's great. If you've not watched it. Oh, I'm really excited to watch that. I also love Maya from.

[00:04:21] Yeah, Maya, she's great.

[00:04:23] Yeah, she's great.

[00:04:24] She's unbelievable.

[00:04:25] They're so good together.

[00:04:26] They are.

[00:04:26] Chemistry's wild. said, there were roles that I'm okay with not booking because they were all moms of 18 year olds and 40s. So I was like, I feel like I'm reading especially with your fresh skin. You don't stand a chance. Everyone at Bramblefest tell Jax that her skin is looking fresh. So fresh. So I'll know

[00:05:41] that my vision board is coming to you. That's right. And

[00:05:43] what's our show? Like just what we're doing here?

[00:05:46] My sister and I are pitching a but before we get going this is so off the beaten path And I could ask you this anytime and I'm gonna forget I saw in your Instagram stories

[00:07:02] Well back you got to go see Gutenberg

[00:08:02] Russell Crashmore Crow. Yes, Crow.

[00:08:03] Yeah.

[00:08:03] Who was Josh Gads understudy?

[00:08:05] Glad he was Josh Gads understudy.

[00:08:08] Russell.

[00:08:09] Russell.

[00:08:09] Russell, Cass.

[00:08:10] The Russell, Cass Moore Crow.

[00:08:12] We got it.

[00:08:13] Yes.

[00:08:14] Let's talk about love by design, not starring Andrew Garfield.

[00:08:19] Or Russell, Cass Moore.

[00:08:20] Or Russell, Crash Moore Crow.

[00:08:23] But we're still excited about it.

[00:08:24] We're so excited.

[00:08:24] Originally, aired, I found someone else.

[00:09:41] It was love at first sight.

[00:09:42] I already bought the ring for her.

[00:09:45] Also, sorry about it.

[00:09:47] You can get to bed. The next morning, wouldn't you know it, she's lost five pounds, just like her vision board set. She goes to her new job that she got and meets a hunky woodworker named Josh.

[00:11:01] She's like, hey, I-

[00:11:02] He's also a dog out there, right?

[00:11:03] Yes, there's a dog.

[00:11:04] There's a dog out there, Mr. Noodles.

[00:11:06] Yes, yes.

[00:11:07] Well, we haven't gotten there yet. It's like her vision board. Captain with the full team now. That's exactly right. Whoa, whoa. Joey Lawrence. Joey Lawrence. How actually has properties that are in need of some interior design? Designing. And she's like, like, like, like, like,

[00:12:20] like,

[00:12:21] like,

[00:12:22] like,

[00:12:23] like,

[00:12:24] like,

[00:12:25] like,

[00:12:26] like,

[00:12:27] like,

[00:12:28] like, kiss situation, psalm live by the way, fantastic. But then she keeps going along with whatever Hal wants because Hal's the guy on the vision board. She asks him to go to her niece's birthday party and he says, Hal says yes, but then lies and says that he has to go out of town for work.

[00:13:41] But Josh actually overheard that he's going to Vegas

[00:13:44] with the boys. He notices hey, that's how how is on the vision board you like yeah That's the only reason why you're putting up with this guy stuff is just on your vision board They have this party to celebrate the house being complete and she that's when she finds out that he wasn't Vegas Not out of town on business and she says she's gonna break up with him She goes to find Josh, but she sees Josh with a woman that he calls baby

[00:15:05] She is like oh

[00:16:04] that he was Josh is actually on the vision board. The picture of the mascot.

[00:16:05] That's right.

[00:16:06] And you flip it and he's on the other side of it.

[00:16:09] And also, that's it.

[00:16:11] That's the big whopper that you missed.

[00:16:12] We can talk about the rest later.

[00:16:14] Whopper.

[00:16:14] What a whopper.

[00:16:15] Let's take a quick break.

[00:16:16] We'll come back and we'll break this movie down

[00:16:18] with four segments here on.

[00:16:19] Deck the Hallmark. got a few big laughs for me but like I couldn't believe what I was watching. This was to start off the I'll keep this as short as I can but I was really quite angry about the lose five pounds. That's not how a vision board works especially one that you've put together when you were

[00:17:42] 14. this and one of the biggest villains I've ever seen in the movie like this in her sister like it was just wild from beginning to end but as we'll get into in later segments I did have quite a few laugh out loud moments that you know work for the quote unquote right reasons but it really got me maybe it's Jane Austen maybe it's just kind of how things have been lately

[00:20:05] by design over any Jane Austen movie this month,

[00:20:08] and I haven't even seen two of them. So what you need to know, first of all,

[00:20:10] is it's not fair, the Jane Austen movies

[00:20:12] are predisposed for a brand not to like them.

[00:20:14] They're about a book, but the other thing is,

[00:20:16] and you need to be very clear,

[00:20:19] is this movie, it brand loves,

[00:20:22] not because qualitatively it's great,

[00:20:24] but because it has that he is playing just a super flamboyant furniture worker and he's having to do it this way against his will. Like it doesn't look like, Jackson's like he looks like he's having fun. It looks like somebody pointed a gun at him and said, you better look like you're having fun.

[00:21:40] It looks like he's twice removed from fun.

[00:21:43] He has an earring dangling on his left ear.

[00:21:46] He has tangerine orange clothes, big vest, those two people are supposed to be in the same high school together. Joey Lawrence looks like what he read in the script was, smokes a lot of cocaine, just snorts it right up real good. And Joey Lawrence, it is super dynamic, but he's super dynamic on fast forward three times speed. He is like super glitchy and just like,

[00:23:03] and he's taught, and he's like,

[00:23:05] and it is like, I don Lawrence act, it's like Steve Buscemi in grownups who's like, hey there fellow teenagers, I'm sorry, Joseph, it's just not the role you need to play anymore. And so you've got that going on, you've got a mom who is villain of the century in this movie. She is world's worst human,

[00:24:21] and having a scale in the kitchen,

[00:24:25] she makes her adult daughters.

[00:24:26] Well, I don't think she became a terrible villain. Doc Ock, that would be like saying I blame science. Yes, science is the root cause. I'm still thinking the sister is the worst. She's so mean. What? Dude, the sister is so mean. Wait a minute though. She doctors a scale.

[00:25:42] She steals a dog to this guy, brings the vision board over on purpose. by a writer, a director somewhere. We have, you know, an hour and a half of bad movie jazz. But no scenes are just popping up. Full wall callily paintings are just here. We gotta make this make sense somehow. The editor should win a Nobel Peace Prize.

[00:27:03] This movie is such a train wreck.

[00:27:07] I don't agree with brand qualitatively, Dude is there and looks like he's a buffoon or an idiot and the girl comes up and makes him feel more manly or appear more manly in front of the party. Love Hard where she shows up and overly acts out the part of being his girlfriend because his brother is so very unimpressed. That happens regularly in this movie.

[00:28:21] This guy who's not even like fake dating her at the time sees that these dudes don't take

[00:28:26] her seriously.

[00:28:27] Especially when he's with baby. darn it that i love that uh... i love that it happened i love that the people responsible for friends said uh... you're gonna introduce him as fred playing mister noodles and we need to be the the final name and if not we walk uh... which i just love it was a go to the country

[00:29:42] was they said listen we you are it introducing fred as mister noodles it house that's a weird giant big door yeah you deal with those doors all the time in New York City I'm sure you're big big parties your fan fancy fresh parties let's take a quick break we'll come back that's exactly right let's come's wife, his brother's wife. His brother's wife. Yeah. His brother's wife. That's right. It is 100% his brother's wife that he calls baby. Correct. Because his brother in law had a hard time saying brother. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[00:32:20] I keep saying brother. His brother had a hard time saying the name of the of the woman. And then our poor lead is left to act like what they just said to her was normal. Yeah, she's in that. I can see. I see. Oh, you call her baby. Of course you kiss her on the cheek to greet her and say, Hey, baby, normal.

[00:33:40] I'm I'm sorry.

[00:33:42] I'm the weird.

[00:33:43] I miss read.

[00:33:44] This is the first time ever. We're gonna have to coffee over here, but if you want sugar, you're gonna have to go to my desk drawer to get it. That's where I keep it, because I also like to just down some sugar package to the middle of the work thing. Furthermore, the desk is out amidst the furniture that is for sale, which means if you were robbing the place, there would be one less barrier of entry to get an expensive diamond ring

[00:35:02] that you're just leaving out there.

[00:35:03] It's like, is this desk for sale?

[00:35:05] No, this is my office.

[00:35:06] This is where I buy all like, I have a flash. Do are they under the impression that Brooke created the idea of a TV picture frame? Are they that they came up with that case, man? How do you make it both classy and functional?

[00:36:22] What if it was a TV frame?

[00:36:24] No one's ever done that before.

[00:36:25] Amazing. Amazing. make sure people of every different type of physical ability can feel comfortable. And what's accessible for all is better for everybody. This has a door that's big enough to drive a car through except the hinge is in the middle. So it only opens at like these weird 45 degree angles.

[00:37:40] I never see them spinning all the way out.

[00:37:42] The stairs have no railing and at one point

[00:37:44] are covered in plastic wrap,

[00:37:46] even though they're everything in this movie. But also the idea of going, you want the TV to be there where everyone can see it, and it'd be in the best possible place for this room? When Jackie Moore goes, you want to put the TV in the middle of the room? Where else are you gonna... No, I'd like it just tucked away.

[00:39:03] I don't want anybody to see this thing.

[00:39:05] I want it to be gone.

[00:39:06] In fact, no TV would be great, in my opinion. You could. It's amazing. This mom is the worst further proof when Jackie Moore moves back in with her mom. She's like depressed because she's been dumped and all this stuff. And her mom comes in the room and she's sleeping and there's a plate of cookies on her bed. Now the rest of her room is immaculate.

[00:40:20] And in fact, most of the cookies are still on the plate.

[00:40:23] Her room couldn't look cleaner.

[00:40:25] My rings never looked that clean. of Chevy Impala car alarm I've ever seen. Oh, no. This is a 12 year old Chevy Impala. Don't steal it. And she grazes it with her hip, and that thing goes off like it is a Bentley. The hips don't lie. It is just absurd what happens in this scene. That alarm is so sensitive. If there's a breeze outside,

[00:41:40] the Chevy Impala is gonna let you know

[00:41:42] someone is interested in it, which there you have it.

[00:41:45] A couple more, this dude but I understand what up TV is trying to do and then he throws in this little gym it comes with a complete you right I mean, since you insist, I will take an entirely new closet and a day at the sure. Sure, sure. If I'm going to deal with your BS, sure, absolutely. That is a wild gift. That gift cost him $100,000, whatever. I mean, that's everything.

[00:44:21] A complete wardrobe, shoes, accessories, everything.

[00:44:26] Get out of your mouth. Jackie Moore, which she was like manifesting.

[00:45:41] So I was like, honey, you were not Oprah. You said it. But yeah, that's like, associate and she kind of picks up on the fact that he is lying to investors. He then secures the deal with the hotel guy that wants the picture frame TVs and all of his hotels and secures a deal with him and she goes. If you don't tell him, I will. Yeah. Because now we're in business together. I like this guy wants my picture from TVs. Yeah. No, I'm with you. Tell him. Tell him or I will. Dan? Um, yeah, I at the end of this movie, we find out that is it Charles? Is it who's the guy's name? That's the contractor Josh?

[00:48:20] Josh.

[00:48:21] Yes.

[00:48:22] Josh buys the house for her, which I'm not.