Momma Said Come Home for Christmas (Starz - 2023) ft. Alonso Duralde

[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Bran and I love stars Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise stars Christmas movies I'm Alonzo and let's discuss the fault in our stars and this Markets is podcast Oh Boy this is it. Yeah, it is we have made it we made it the top

[00:00:41] Harry I've reached the top stripe Go we have reached our final week of 2023 stinkers bangers that we missed And we're going out swinging with the stars flick mama said come home for Christmas

[00:01:00] So yeah, and then we were gonna believe that nobody none of you texted and said hey Maybe we should keep this going after watching mama said come home for Christmas No one said I've brain. I think you've been right this whole time. There are still some gems

[00:01:15] I just was so jealous of y'all's 25 weeks of Christmas sure and I wanted to be a part of it So I said what if we maybe dabble in some theatrical releases?

[00:01:27] Yeah, just some yeah any that is true starting next week to kick off Christmas in July here on Mondays We are gonna be watching some bigger movies movies that that we would like to cover for various reasons and

[00:01:45] We're kicking it off with Home Alone 3 the trace that's right Which is nice cuz Alonzo you and I have reviewed Home Alone 5 True. Yeah, I've seen it. I reviewed Home Alone 6 with Christie when that came out

[00:02:00] Oh, there's a six when I thought it was just home sweet home alone. That's home sweet. Okay? Okay. Yeah but first Come on man get it right the details matter. I don't know how many times I gotta tell you Now Alonzo as you know tomorrow is June 25th

[00:02:19] halfway to Christmas Yes Happy Leon Merry half-mas how because Leon days a dumb name I think like we a lot so you and I agree on this It's not the greatest and it turns out there is actually a like a baseball player named Leon day

[00:02:38] I'm sure he is not Out there that are obsessed with Christmas Mary Mary half-mas will say half-mas. Yes, I think that works just as well Are you any big plans? This this today or this week to add a little sprinkle of Christmas cheer in your life

[00:02:58] I mean, it's the it's the 25th. Of course. I will be listening to the Christmas morning party episode Somebody here on our team put some respect on the name of Christmas morning Why do you think I don't like Christmas morning brain? I love Christmas morning

[00:03:20] Do I need to take you back to last week when you made a mockery mock our own shows all the time? That's how you know, we love them shows. You're on you don't mock other shows that you're not on buddy

[00:03:32] We don't have time for this. Can you get to the joke of the day, please? Can't wait for Christmas, so, you know, that's that's a monthly bounty. Oh, there's one the first person to do the 25th thing, huh? Just stealing

[00:03:48] That's an add-on it's an extra with no extra We're also not the first one to review made for TV movies if you can believe Sure, I think we might be the first podcast to review mama say come home to review it

[00:04:05] We're just we're breaking new ground here, yeah, we are Actually by my celebration for the 25th will be if you were in Los Angeles at the Egyptian theater, I'm gonna be signing copies of Hollywood pride my new book and

[00:04:21] Screening all about Eve one of the all-time classics and introducing the film with me will be the Grand-nephew of the films writer director one Ben Mankiewicz. Oh, oh Turner classic movies Ben Mankiewicz. How about that sir? The big names this guy and

[00:04:38] Forget about it. Like are you still gonna do the show? Are you still gonna do our show now that you're like a huge deal? I'm always making space for you Okay, and this Friday speaking of Turner classic movies

[00:04:51] I will be on with Dave Carger introducing a couple movies from the book. So please could you drop a few more names along? We get it Get it We're just here with us will be over very quickly

[00:05:09] Dan and I were on the South Carolina Public Radio Pledge Drive last week. You didn't hear us make Have I been invited on Good Morning America once no have y'all gone on multiple times I believe yes, so Let's just years ago We were on last year, weren't we?

[00:05:32] Also only one of us has been on that that weird LA show that we did We recorded linoleum knife. Yeah It was like good day LA or something LA now, good morning, LA. I don't know it was it was weird, but it was only on the way

[00:06:00] What's cracking? One of those shows is still going on only knife or LA one of those two is now now more people 100% hurt us on the only 100% Let's talk. Mama said come home for Christmas. Nothing. I'm looking forward to more this

[00:06:20] Year than you doing this synopsis. I'm honestly like I'm really set like I've enjoyed this going back to 2023. I've really enjoyed this Yeah, for better or worse a Holly Goodfellow in the chat said that there's a Christmas at the Holly hotel sequel One and a 25 I've heard rumors

[00:06:42] There can't be yeah, we got to get on that How do we get invited to that that premiere? I mean after? Mankiewicz to review that with We'll all come together it'll be a good time. I'm almost said don't have

[00:06:56] Said knock you mama said come home for Christmas originally premiered on stars and the first November first Something like this Jarvis is a football player two-time count it two time a fireman for Christmas. Oh my gosh Brian

[00:07:17] It says 2023. Yeah, is it out already out? How do we get this? All right, hold on pause pause Everybody trailer. Oh my gosh hold Hold the printers I hear that matrix back there shut it down See you see it's not just a joke of the day I

[00:07:44] Do a better Gary voice than you do. I don't do a Gary voice like what are you talking about? So is my Gary pretty good then based your Gary is pretty close to the Gary. Yeah a fireman for Christmas The sequel of Christmas at the Holly hotel man

[00:08:01] Unbelievable unbelievable. Oh my gosh It says The guy was proposing at the beginning, okay great Yeah, I know. I know we had big plans For the rest of the year, but there's a chance that we just review a fireman for Christmas every week for the rest

[00:08:24] We'll see what happens Jarvis is a football player whose team it's two-time Super Bowl winner by the way Dan two times He was two times plus respect on Jarvis. This is rented out a locker room. That's right just for him

[00:08:39] Just lost a big game his career is coming to an end He is having a tough time grappling with that and mama said come home for Christmas we then meet a Newscaster journalist Right short in there. Yes, our names Letitia. She just gets a hit on

[00:09:01] Live on TV all the time. That's just her life hates she hates it she doesn't have any desire to Get into the mess of celebrity gossip, which is apparently what her job of Newscaster journalist is is a gossip columnist

[00:09:22] So but her boss is like listen. I need you to get me something good Well, you're fired Jarvis said Tells his mom don't set me up with anyone this year. I don't wanna. I don't want to be set up with anybody Okay, I'm bringing someone home so

[00:09:41] One night Jarvis is struggling still ill assist the end of the season don't know what my future holds two times He's going to the bar. He's he's getting doubles. That's right. It's just like he's just he's

[00:09:55] And Letitia spots him at the bar doesn't know who he is but her friend Who does not have a scene where she does not mention her feet does? Recognize Jarvis, what do you mention her feet just mention them just talk about him casually

[00:10:13] That's it and throws feet in the conversation. What she How how what what how she handles her feet? No so Letitia now goes over there and is like maybe this is my story so goes over there Talks to him and at first he's like

[00:10:33] I don't have any interest in talking to you, but then he remembers that he needs a date That's right for the holiday season so they agreed to meet up at the At the workout place Jim if you will My second home

[00:10:52] Tell you the number of times you roll in you're like I'm out of your man. I'm going to the workout place Just say yeah Off the is crazy So they they made it the workout place and ultimately They do not agree to to continue

[00:11:14] Until they do because they show up at his house for Christmas together She's gonna be his date, and he will give her her story that she needs so they show up And it doesn't go great To begin with the family is weird

[00:11:33] Yeah, weird about her just being there lots of Judging her they also trick her into eating possum despite the fact that she is Vegan vegan and vegetarian vegetarian this is a hard for her. She gets over it though after having a twerk contest with Jarvis's sister as

[00:11:59] We all been there sometimes guys You were there at the workout place the other day. I know yeah every time Alonzo comes into town we go We have a meal and then we talk that's just

[00:12:14] He is undefeated with that dump truck, I don't know I wanted to try something new That'd be fun I Say it respectfully of course That's how I think of course so Jarvis's cousin slim then shows up mid twerk contest and shade and no and Leticia is

[00:12:39] quite smitten by Slim and rightfully so I mean come on. It's not a love about slim And at it's at this point nine three priors like he is like he's doing great. Yeah They've been Get high together and

[00:12:58] Sleep together yeah pants on of course pants pants on sleep session Jarvis then Jarvis who has been talking to his ex-girlfriend CC outside Yes walks in and sees them in bed together and gets really mad

[00:13:12] He's like I was actually starting to fall for you, and then CC's behind like oh wait what the heck man I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie And then CC's behind like oh wait what the heck man

[00:13:23] and so you might be wondering how are our two main characters of Jarvis and Leticia gonna end up together, that's right They're not they're not they're not in fact Jarvis falls back in love with his ex-girlfriend Leticia and slim are all about each other and

[00:13:47] Jarvis and CC all about each other so that's dope that's the best case scenario here Mom's not pulled a gun on dad mom is gonna pull a gun on dad there throughout the movie Dad has been talking to a woman out in the front yard and

[00:14:04] Everybody just assumes dad's cheating. Yeah, it's just kind of Giving her cash giving her cash. Yes cash and so mom Uh Shows up pulls a gun on dad and is like

[00:14:18] This is the end of it all and dad explains, and it's a tale as old as time. He sold this house and The money that he was giving her He was buying a condo for them at the beat. That's right. Yes

[00:14:33] Come on. What's this all about boards all above board indeed? Leticia quits her job To manage Slim's career and Jarvis and CC are gonna move in together and that my friend said was

[00:14:52] We did it say if we break we'll come back and we will break this movie down here on Hello everybody, it's great to be back. We're talking mama said come home for Christmas our final 2023 classic

[00:15:21] We're gonna start with the hot take or share exactly how he felt about this movie Alonzo What did you think of mama said come home for Christmas? Wow, well, you know after another Christmas

[00:15:32] I thought surely we're never gonna see another movie where the big plot reveal surprise at the end is that dad has bought an entire new house But I was wrong. Yeah are going to see classic Again

[00:15:49] This is there like a kit you can buy now where like you make almost in your entire Christmas movie inside one Nondescript house because I feel like the George Lopez movie we saw this is the kit like that we've seen some very like the the

[00:16:07] The Santa Samson movie like so often it's just like we're all gonna be in this one house and things are gonna happen It that's just Episode Alonzo, come on 12 angry men classics

[00:16:21] You know what at least when hacks did a bottle episode they sent him out to the woods somewhere Sort of TV. Oh my goodness This was not very good Yeah, this was you know, I I admire their Like, you know

[00:16:38] We talked a lot about formula and repetition and certainly this one just goes off the tracks early and often and so like I'll give it That like they're not Shewing to like, you know, oh the the fake girlfriend and the guy are gonna get together

[00:16:52] No, they're not the fake girlfriend is gonna not sleep with the other guys cousin. Oh, no. No she is So I I liked the fact that they were just like You know tweaking things and and doing things their own way but their own way isn't good and

[00:17:10] We are I Have a theory about this movie and it is that this is actually two different movies so the first movie is Letitia and Jarvis and

[00:17:28] You know they meet and they agree or they say we're not gonna we're not gonna go together to the to the thing and Then I think what they had planned to do was earlier in the movie

[00:17:39] There was a date that Jarvis went on where one of the dates talked about how she's recently vegan and Yeah When they walk in so they leave guys they leave the gym Saying we're not that's right. We're not going to get I'm not going with you

[00:17:59] I'm not doing this at mom's house and then they walk into mom's house and one of the first things that Letitia says is I'm a vegan and

[00:18:10] That tripped us up it does suck because we're like is this is this because she also did something different with her hair When she the high school girlfriend is a vegan, too. Yeah. Yeah, so there's so much

[00:18:24] Weird confusion and not to mention Letitia's character once they get to the house especially post twerk contest is a completely different character like Not even close to the same person does it like the way that she even responds to people is completely different than how

[00:18:43] Letitia was responding to people, and I don't know if it's because she's high or what it is But there but post it was a day of everybody telling her you think you're better than us just got here Yeah, it's just so it like legitimately

[00:18:58] From before getting to the house to after they get to the house are there two totally different movies So much so in fact that They weren't even supposed to show up at the house together because they agreed that they weren't going to try so it's so weird

[00:19:14] So confusing and I don't really know what to do with it because it's two different movies But I don't think either one of them is necessarily particularly good but the I will say I

[00:19:28] was about to be done with this movie, and then and then we got the gun scene and Don't know really a wild movie to go out on I Don't know yes, wow Dana Yeah, when we started this movie

[00:19:44] We sat down and we hit play and I saw it was 81 minutes long And then we got a two minute opening credit scene with public domain music and just like weird establishing shots I'm like we are in good hands. We are welcome home

[00:19:58] You take the credits out of this bad boy. It's a it's like a tight 76 minutes and Bram buried the lead because Harriet Winslow Joe Marie Payton from family matters I was gonna say the mom in this movie. She just has decided at 74

[00:20:13] She wants to just act a little bit and she is acting Circles around everyone else in this movie, and it's a riot to hear her try to make sense out of the script She's been given

[00:20:25] She pulls a gun on her husband. There is a pants-on sex scene there is Hard $10,000 in an envelope handed in the front yard of a crazy overgrown house the leads don't end up together This movie has it all and it sucks

[00:20:45] It's such a bad movie, but at least it knows and at 75 minutes whatever It's an hour and 15 minutes long in the six years We've been doing this is this the first movie where the the two leads just don't end up together That's a that's a great question

[00:21:02] We have to like of the Christmas movie. Yes, because we've watched movies that aren't that exactly but Man, I don't know like this is a fake relationship movie where the fake relationship doesn't end up I Can't think of another one offhand

[00:21:20] Credit credit to our credits do what movie that we watch that's still going on somewhere that was interminable. What movie was that? There was like an Hour 40 like a couple weeks ago. Yeah, it was the movie that I was like Fargo is shorter than this movie Yeah, so

[00:21:39] If that movie is 75 minutes long, it's probably better than this movie, but it isn't there's a huge deal between 75 minutes and a hundred and one minutes and

[00:21:50] That that and the fact that the two leads don't end up together means it isn't even in the bottom three for what we've watched this Year, and that's embarrassing. That's embarrassing because it's a bad movie. Yeah, so there you have it

[00:22:03] What Santa's second one shout out Harriet Winslow? Shout out Gosh Let's let's get to all the fields where we talk about what in this movie gave us those Christmas feels or feels in general because It's not a ton of Christmas in this movie Alonzo

[00:22:19] Well boy, this sure is set in LA at Christmastime What the snow didn't throw you off the scent the Incredibly long of the lengthy opening montage that you reference where it's like. Oh look at the Grove. Oh look

[00:22:37] Like all these like landmark landmark. I get it. I you have established place We're covered yeah, actually what are my weight what is where is home they just say the South Yes, okay Big air quotes. It's home Alonzo

[00:22:57] Well, it's where the heart is. I was I was baffled by that You're right. The the mom is the one person in this movie who knows what she's doing and she really can land When went on those rare moments she gets a zing she gets a zing

[00:23:13] We've got the proper insurance this year made me laugh what she's talking about We're gonna fry a turkey again, but we've got the proper insurance Can be a real disaster I the the joke about the cousin rapper

[00:23:27] When somebody describes it as being local and he's like regional. Yeah, that was really funny But then they do it like a couple more times. Yeah fills it I Immediately knew that this movie was gonna be good based off of the locker room scene. It was

[00:23:45] So believable the locker room. I I knew immediately that this movie had money to spare What was that locker so wild I don't know man. No real feels aside from just like I can't like there were a couple of things Like

[00:24:06] It's it's always it's always a surprise when something happens in these movies and I'm like Dan I think we need to rewind it and when they leave the gym and then walk into the house together I couldn't believe it. I cuz they she said I we went back

[00:24:22] Well, I said that she said she's not gonna he you got on your laptop and went back on your laptop because you didn't believe me Like it is wild that she's like I respectfully decline your offer and he's like, okay

[00:24:34] Great. I have a good one pump it iron and then the next thing you know, they're either in the South together Scene missing There's a scene missing. Yes. Yes, and I seen that like, you know, this movie was trying to get to that time I guess

[00:24:53] We had to cut a scene okay, what's the least important scene we got to keep it under 76 minutes If we were gonna cut a scene is probably the one where they do agree like that's we don't need that right

[00:25:05] Yeah, we don't need to see the scene where they agree to go and be I don't know that was wild So, I don't know what type of feel that gave me but it was a feeling was a feel. Yeah There you go

[00:25:14] My feels this movie is the dad in this movie because not only is he all over the map with this script But sometimes he decides halfway through a line that he's going from comedy to drama and

[00:25:30] Fantastic like he will be delivering a line and then midway through he will just just Shift gears entirely to trying to make you cry and it's almost worth the movie to go and watch this guy

[00:25:45] Especially talking to his son. It is so funny. He wears his chef's hat at the table. He's doing bits He's out in the front yard giving $10,000 to some strange woman Everything every time he's in a scene the scene is better for it and

[00:26:00] He's what kept this movie going for me, even though yes, Joe Murray Peyton is way better as an actor It's time for the way. Well, it's time for us to take a break. Sorry. I gotta have myself wait wait

[00:26:10] Take a break. Let's take a break. We'll be right back here on take the hallmark Welcome back everybody we're talking about mama said come home for Christmas

[00:26:29] It's time for the way what is we're talking about one of the swimming minutes go wait, what's Alonzo do you have any At the beginning of the movie after the locker room of the damned We then cut to Leticia in a TV studio. That is a waiting room

[00:26:50] Like an office building in the middle of like the floor where like there's a bunch of glass wall Offices behind them with windows that they've hung football jerseys on and closed the blinds, but like that it's a it's a waiting room I'm sorry. Yeah

[00:27:08] We cut back to Jarvis leaving the stadium and being mobbed by the Paparazzi. Yeah, which is one guy with a camera and a bunch of people with Like low-rent paparazzi for an NFL superstars like

[00:27:26] Did we just you could get the one guy with the camera everybody else is just kind of like faking it like I get that a lot of Internet gossip and stuff probably happens via phone but like not that much

[00:27:37] I'm gonna see that thought we were a big deal in New York were more professional than that They ran they sprinted towards us and then and then saw us up close and we're like, oh never mind. Oh walked away

[00:27:50] Who's the name dropper now? That's right. Yeah, that's right Then I was in the paparazzi I Wrote down sweetie and I forgot now what that means Put a coat on like they get to the south and the idea is supposed to be that

[00:28:06] Oh suddenly and they're still dressed like I mean even yeah, and I've always I've called this out before LA Christmas movies, it's never snowing here But it's you have to have a coat on in December

[00:28:21] Jacket something it gets it gets LA cold, you know, if you live here, you know, you want to you need some layers We were watching this and Aaron popped in the room

[00:28:31] And we couldn't stop laughing at the fact that they show us a scene with snow falling and then the next scene They are out on a deck green foliage everywhere sipping ice-cold lemonade With no coats on like that try has not entered their vocabulary

[00:28:51] Like the sister's wearing a tube top. Yeah this movie like yeah, it's a there's one girl And I think that star is snow so I was gonna be quite the doozy. That's right There's like a little bit of snow on the chair

[00:29:02] There's like palm trees that are super green and they're sipping ice-cold lemonade on the porch outside It is pitch perfect Christmas. Yeah The barrage of vegan jokes is so like oh my gosh, I'll have it 2017. What are we doing?

[00:29:22] Did you notice the scene where the dad is drinking a beer and the shot is backward Yes, I mentioned that to bran it's a fat tire amber

[00:29:32] Oh, and I was like did they not have the rights to show fat tires? So they flipped it or is this just that bad? Also, can you do that does that count If you don't get the rights you can just flip it show it backwards I don't know

[00:29:49] Like there's a good one that you were supposed to shoot or not shoot and then press or not present. They didn't you know? She Vomits when she has been fooled into eating possum by being told that it's what is it? Improbable meat. Yes

[00:30:08] Possibly of course and when she is done her lipstick is perfect So, you know hats off to that brand Let's unpack the dad and the realtor for just a moment. All right, first of all The whole supposed to be a secret. It's a secret

[00:30:27] He has sold the house and he's bought the condo that he's gonna spring on the wife for like Christmas or whatever Where does he decide to have all of their meetings on the sidewalk in front of their front yard?

[00:30:37] Yep, how did their financial transactions work cashiers check electronic transfer? No Envelope of cash counting out hundreds to her making it rain on the sidewalk in front of their house. That's right And does he watch her walk away and go?

[00:30:56] Every time the real estate agent walks away. Yeah, it's all above board Does he also pay the real estate agent for some reason? Yeah, which is not how you buy anything You pay the bank or the person you're buying it from he's paying in in stacks of hundreds

[00:31:15] The real estate agent. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he didn't buy like he they're gonna get to that condo and find Out quick. They have not bought the condo there

[00:31:23] I was just when she's pointing the gun at him and he's like, you don't understand I'm like whatever he's gonna say next is not gonna make sense Because I just can't imagine a world where something needed to be done in that manner

[00:31:38] The whole point of setting up the mistaken thing is that you have an action that can be read in two different ways but nothing that he's doing has a Legitimate explanation, you know, unless your last name is Escobar. You are not paying cash for real estate

[00:31:55] You know, so and even they are laundering it better, you know Yeah, when the snow started I just wrote down in all caps. This movie is deranged. Yep. Yep And then I wrote down CC leaves which made me laugh because that's also the

[00:32:12] mascot but classic but I wrote CC leaves why like it they don't explain why she Chooses that moment to walk out even though like, you know, the Letitia has been there the whole time

[00:32:25] No one cooks in this movie. Nope and an entire Christmas dinner happens and all I can think is like well Boston Market is delivering Is there still around? I don't know a while, but Somebody win Dixie. Somebody is bringing a cooked turkey and like, you know

[00:32:43] Everything on that city of Boston. I think of that fast-food restaurant that served whole rotisserie chicken That's Boston for you, yeah, well, they're no Kenny Rogers April 2024 there's 322 Boston Market restaurants in the United States

[00:33:00] 23 states there you go. And then this is maybe I'm hyper sensitive about this but There is one white character in this movie, yeah who is both an a-hole Oh and gay. Oh boy, I did I actually

[00:33:17] Did the last the last scene when he's on the phone with her and it's Christmas Day and she's quitting He is clearly with the dude in the kitchen like Making the dinner and also like terrible act like just it is awful. Yes And like could we not

[00:33:37] Yeah black and gay or white and straight I'm that sure but like really movie come on Yeah, or just have him by himself in the office on Christmas. That was really easy to do To this movie by that point Near the end

[00:34:00] It's you know, it's waiting room TV, you know got she's a gossip columnist that interviews football players She's also maybe she's a host for the the the show that we went on back in 2019 That would track that would track in LA. What's crack?

[00:34:16] Is that it Alonzo, that's all I got just that I have a few for a guy that is Being mobbed by the paparazzi as you point out It is a very interesting move to go on so many dates at the same restaurant at the same booth

[00:34:34] Yes, I think I think they might find you Yeah I think someone might tip the paparazzi off and hey Jarvis over here comes to the same Restaurant for all of his dates and he sits in the same booth and when he's not on a date

[00:34:49] Do you know where you might find Jarvis drinking at that same restaurant? That's right. If you can believe it at the bar until he makes it over to the booth if you're a pro football player

[00:34:59] Are you really going on a bunch of bad dates from like tinder or whatever? That's supposed to be no world We're that Doing that The ladies, right yes

[00:35:14] Yeah, I've already talked about but she does she says no I'm not coming to your house and then they show up at the house It's just I still still can't get over it Mom throughout this movie is putting some alcohol in her mug from a flask and

[00:35:31] When Jarvis sees that he says ma you better not I thought the pastor delivered you from all that And there's so much there Mom had at some point had such an alcohol problem that they were like mommy better go to the pastor and Pastor exercise her it's a

[00:35:53] name of the Father Son the Holy Spirit Get out of what y'all get up to in the Protestant faith Yeah Well what the other thing is is this is coming Mom is clearly finest until she has the gun

[00:36:09] This is coming from a guy who routinely is going and just shooting double shots of Jameson Until I cannot stand up and his mom has a little something in her tea, and he's like I thought

[00:36:23] Jarvis maybe go ahead and take that speck out of your eye pal. That's right. Yeah Be delivered from that Dave white points out that a pro football player would be on Raya Which is of course? Fancy people that's their dating. Oh, yeah

[00:36:36] Your pastor didn't exercise alcoholic. He did not that's so weird It's unbelievable. It's right there in the Bible I did write down right I did write down that they live in the house number Yeah, one eight zero five five How long does this road it goes on forever?

[00:37:00] It's crazy just keep driving until you hit the 18,000 When you get to the 1800s block Then you'll know So in this gun scene The gun gets dropped on the floor

[00:37:21] Mm-hmm it lands on the floor and everyone dives out of the way like it's a bomb like it's like oh now It's been activated. We gotta hide cuz it did like it it clearly hasn't gone off like the gun lands Like it's like I don't have a delay

[00:37:38] bullet situation if it was supposed to have gone off or not because if you notice about these movies the one of the The worst offenders is in the Christmas house movies whenever the mom blows the whistle and you don't hear the yeah Worried about like loud sounds

[00:37:59] If it did go off it would make sense, but I didn't hear anything so my last one is this she does have She calls up her boss as you mentioned and says you can take that job and shove it

[00:38:14] And I'm not gonna be giving you that story. I think the first thing Like you can take that down shove it I'm also, but I am gonna send you have a story you'll have a story of course well

[00:38:28] I'm one of my word, but you can say this is my two weeks notice She follows that up with and I'm not even coming into work Reverse it reverse it. I'm not coming into work

[00:38:40] I'm not giving you that story. You can take that job and show that works Ridiculous she dropped the note cards So you take your job and shove it yeah, you're not gonna get your story whatever Prompter she will read

[00:39:00] Cuz the whole thing I said Dana um I know you've mentioned the locker room, but did the rapture happen the locker room scene Maybe people were getting the alcohol exercise right out of them

[00:39:15] But this is a locker room where every locker is filled with jerseys and with street clothes But no one is in there, but the lead It is like everyone's clothes have been neatly folded both what they would wear for the game and after the game

[00:39:33] And it is empty you could hear a pin drop in there I've never quite seen a locker room scene like and he is like just out of the shower and a towel

[00:39:42] Like he's he is acting like there's other people in the locker room, but I also loved that he The coach comes in and you think it's gonna be a motivational speech

[00:39:56] Coach comes in and every coach even after you lose the big game is usually gonna say something like Motivational and he goes don't you think of coming back here? They're not renewing your contract Worst coach ever John dudes mentor and crit in the crib

[00:40:15] He's a better coach this guy would never this job mentor John would never I mean this guy just lost the Super Bowl up ten points The locker room has been raptured, and he's looking for any straw any sort of positivity

[00:40:28] To help his current state of mind and the coach is like let me throw you a raft That is you suck, and you'll never be better retire now It is it's impressive

[00:40:38] And then we cut to Letitia interviewing this football player on what appears to be a regional or national TV show and this guy Is going hard in the paint with sexual harassment like live on air like it is not like

[00:40:52] It's not like they do an interview they finish and then he starts sexually harassing her during the questions She's asking him a question. He knows this is televised

[00:41:03] Everywhere, and he is just literally trying to get her bed. He says it point-blank. He's trying to get her to bed I've never like what is it? What are they on? What is the what is happening in that scene?

[00:41:17] That he just has decided he's just gonna gonna talk like I couldn't believe it I didn't get it The boss who we find out is the only white character in the movie and gay

[00:41:28] He says this to Letitia on her way out the door fine. You can leave for Christmas, but I'm gonna need a big story Preferably this is how he says it preferably with a question mark. I'm gonna do a big story preferably a celebrity secret

[00:41:41] And if you don't then it'll be no secret that you're fired He and the coach clearly went to the Motivational school. Yeah, I think preferably there was like the next line down was you know?

[00:41:56] It's like when brand reads a synopsis in the preview episode. Yes, and he didn't know what to do there. So we were preferably a Celebrity secret, you know those just grow on trees You mentioned the number of vegan vegetarian jokes

[00:42:09] But I need to point out that this movie in the year of our Lord 2023 Doesn't know the difference between vegetarian and vegan and they just toss it into one big bowl

[00:42:18] They think if you're vegetarian vegan, you're the exact same and if you know any vegans, you know, that's not true You know, it's not true There is a scene where they go back and forth between mama's house and Him at the bar. They come home Yeah

[00:42:36] Him at the bar getting drunk and meeting Letitia back and forth and the problem is is that mama's house is like broad daylight and The bar is the middle of the night and not even on your best three hour time difference. Is that adding up and

[00:42:52] So there's that He's in Los Angeles three hours earlier pitch-black dark unless it's like 7 a.m. But it's still not light enough. I don't know. I don't think that works Surpassed you yeah. Yeah this house that she mama lives in is

[00:43:14] That I mean he's a two-time Super Bowl champion could buy his mom any house you time this mom's house hasn't had landscaping on it Whatever they planted when they built the house When they built the house, they have let it grow it is I

[00:43:35] Cannot overstate this to you the front yard. You cannot see the front door from the front yard The plants are six feet tall They are eight feet. They're massive like it is like we need to establish the house. Is there a house? Imagine

[00:43:54] Imagine how much money dad could have been handed in an envelope if they had a landscape before putting on the market. Yeah the Early in the movie to like really bring her to the south like Letitia's

[00:44:07] I guess never been to the south to like incorporate her into the south The dad's that you gotta learn to shoot a gun now does this make sense and the confines of this movie at all know it does not but he takes her to shoot a gun and

[00:44:18] She can't hit the bullseye and what he says to her is Some sort of thing about like this is how you like get your rage out which Worst advice ever maybe don't and then she proceeds to start screaming about all the things in her life

[00:44:34] She hates and shooting the gun as she's screaming these terrible things and she's like shaking the good like Look, if you grow up in the south, you do get taught how to shoot a gun at an absurdly young age

[00:44:45] I was how to shoot a gun before I turned 10 And the one thing you are taught is to be sit like still like if you hook around the trigger finger

[00:44:54] It's gonna it's gonna move it and to be still and take a deep breath and exhale before you shoot that is like and she's Like yelling which don't don't don't But then all of her shots are hitting the bullseye

[00:45:08] Like this movie is basically saying if you raid shoot It works out better for your accuracy in your life and I'm on safety with grumpy I just don't think that that's don't own a gun. First of all, don't be a part of a gun but if you're gonna

[00:45:28] This isn't the way to go about it. I'm just saying I'm gonna give him credit for this dramatically. They are introducing the gun in the show. That is true. That is true We know they got exists to be fair

[00:45:42] And then last but not least and I just couldn't get over this line when the dad meets Letitia He decides to comment on her figure and he basically is like you just don't have any meat on your bones

[00:45:54] Down here in the south. We you know, blah blah blah and he says that her posterior He has not seen nothing that round and flat since I looked up tortilla That's what he says Just of all the things to say Why are you looking up?

[00:46:15] Are you googling tortilla? Why? He saw Restaurant google it since I've seen tortilla, okay You gotta go like what is this he went to a restaurant and said tortillas And he googled he's like, oh

[00:46:40] That is really flat and round. I'm gonna keep that in the bank for later And he didn't even say googled either. It could have been a real dictionary It could have been an atlas an encyclopedia since I looked up tortilla. What a movie. Yeah

[00:46:55] Stop for what the hallmarks where we wonder what could have been maybe have because unclear any questions that we still have Alonzo Well at one point the mom says to her son like well, you know, baby just keep making that money and I'm like

[00:47:08] He's about to retire from the NFL in disgrace So, I don't know if he's going to keep making that money I think maybe he needs to hang on to every cent He's got now because who knows what his post pro football career prospects are

[00:47:23] You know how much money he's got left and you know, I mean like the half Landscaping from mom's house or anything, but you know also Does he ever tell his parents that he's about to retire? Does that ever come up in conversation in this movie?

[00:47:40] No, that he is he I know that I usually talk about it But like the coach is like you should retire your worthless But like I don't know if well the whole thing with the story that he's giving Letitia is his retirement

[00:47:53] Yeah, right. Yeah, he doesn't ever do it. You're right He also like that they don't really talk like he never really gives her much like so she didn't have a bunch of a story

[00:48:01] Anyway, right? Yeah. No, I mean I think all she would have had would have she Had she'd have the exclusive on it because you know, whatever but but yeah Then it's it's dropped so much that it never even comes up like he doesn't tell

[00:48:13] Like I guess the implication if he's gonna move in with CeCe is that well, I'm not gonna be in LA anymore But like yeah, they just drop the idea of like oh by the way after these interceptions. I'm quitting

[00:48:25] I'm leaving the NFL that is just like is never brought up again So I Just kind of I'm really interested in how this movie was written like how Things happen What almost It felt like it felt like slim they you know, they they hired slim slim

[00:48:54] You'll be in and out in a day They get slim in there and they realize Slim's dynamic slim is like slim might have something on screen. He's the real slim What if we throw throw caution to the wind here and have her end up with slim?

[00:49:06] Cuz it like they don't do any like if they had introduced slim early in the movie I would have been like, okay there, you know, at least we care about slim We know slim slim comes in for one scene and next thing, you know

[00:49:20] Yes, forget about Jarvis and it just it felt so like Spur the moment. Yeah that I know just wonder if that was the initial plan or if something Something they do make it clear that CC is not a Baxter like like sure he is

[00:49:38] She's not like some awful Golding or something like the mom loves her. She's clearly the right woman for Jarvis and so that yeah, so I'm like, okay Why do we have this many women in the orbit now?

[00:49:52] But then I guess slim is the way to get out of that Yeah, the best thing you can say is this movie doesn't follow any of the rules No, no, they don't Dan

[00:50:00] So if I'm holding a gun and you're saying that you don't wrap that you don't wrap your finger around the finger Actually pull the gun hold the gun Gun safety is like you get your fingerprint taken right here. How about that true story about that?

[00:50:14] Yeah, they're anything for you just that what position does Jarvis play in football? And I only ask because the beginning of this movie and we were laughing really hard during the locker room scene so maybe we missed it, but the beginning of this movie is

[00:50:30] We had a 10-point lead in the Super Bowl and you blew it. What position is that? I I think well, I think he's quarterback. They talk about an interception Yeah, they talk about it. Okay, so it is quarterback All right

[00:50:43] That's all I unless he's wide receiver and he like chips it up in the air tipped it or something because a lot has to happen For you to blow it with one interception as a quarterback with a 10-point lead

[00:50:54] Like there's a lot of other players on the field. I think he's quarter to interceptions where they scored on Interceptions would do it. Yeah, for sure But wait, is this a universe where the Super Bowl takes place before Christmas or is this not?

[00:51:08] Yeah, yeah, especially for those. Yeah. Yeah for the NFL. Of course, it definitely the maybe it wasn't this I thought it was like that. Maybe it was to get into the the playoffs. This is still regular season

[00:51:21] Trying guys a lot of games on Christmas Day even I know this. That's right. Yeah All right. Well, we did it Congratulations next week. We start our new journey through what some might call real movies And we're going to start with Home Alone 3

[00:51:39] Very much looking forward to that It's gonna be a lot of fun until then maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas Take the hallmarks of bramble jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shay For more information on deck the homer you can go to deck the hallmark

[00:51:54] calm for information on the deck the hallmark family You can go to bramble jam plus calm deck the hallmark is presented by philo TV for a free trial of philo Go to philo dot TV slash DTH

[00:52:09] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio Thanks for listening or don't listen it's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show I mean you're listening to me. Hi

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