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The movie begins with these kids sneaking into a carnival after hours and turning everything back on. The ride goes nuts and they're able to get away before the security guard catches them.
Cut to this rich dude speeding down a rural road. His name is Michael and he's driving to meet with a social worker at his sisters house. His sister & brother-in-law passed away and he thinks he's just going to sign some paper work. Turns out, he needs to watch his nephews until she finds a foster family for them. The kids are a lot. They live on this massive farm and just do whatever they want and Michael doesn't have time for this. He's got a big work presentation he is working on but the kids won't let him work.
These kids keep messing with Michael and he has no idea what to do, so it's a lot of that. Michael keeps having to go into town to take calls because he's worried his boss is going to give his big project to his rival, Dog Face Devin. And keeps bumping into the social worker.
Slowly, he begins to find his footing around the kids and they begin to understand each other a little more.
When the opportunity presents itself for the kids to go live elsewhere but they'd be split up, Michael opts to stick around.
There is this family in town that may be interested in adopting all the kids. Best part? They're rich. They get invited to come to their Christmas party and it's going great until the kids put a brick on the gas of a golf cart and it plows through a massive nativity set into the swimming pool.
There's another prospective foster mom but after meeting with her, it becomes clear she's just in it for the money.
Then Mike is hit with a big blow - his project is being taken from him and given to Dog Face Devin.
The kids mom taught ballet and the kids are pretty good themselves. One of the kids, Junior, even wrote a "Much Better Nutcracker". Mike, who suddenly has a lot of free time, tells the kids that they're going to put the show on!
They work hard to prepare for the event and they're all ready to go. Before the show, he's talking to Gretchen, the social worker. When she finds out that all of this is just to get attention on the kids to find them a foster family, she tells him that the kids are growing attached to him. He tells them that he loves them but there's no way he could take care of 4 pain in the butt kids. Unfortunately, one of the kids overhears this. Before he can fix things, he gets a call - his boss wants him back. He goes to tell the kids it's time to start the show but he discovers that they're gone. Michael goes on stage and tells the people that the show is cancelled. When everyone leaves, they see that the kids are doing the show outside at their parents memorial.
The show is a big success. During the performance, the oldest boy, Justice, stabs Mike with his prop sword as he feigns an injury. He finally comes to the realization that he loves his nephews. After the show, he promises he's not going to leave them.
[00:00:00] Hi, I'm Bran and I love Hulu Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise Hulu Christmas movies. I'm Alonso and David Gordon Green is back baby and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark gets his podcast. And friends host his podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Hi everybody. Welcome.
[00:00:34] I just want to be clear the director of many episodes of The Righteous Gemstones never left. I just died back. He's never left. We'll be very clear. I you know we at breakfast all day we do a thing called table for one where it's kind of like our version of a cameo where you pay us and we'll you pick a movie and we'll review it with you and you get to keep the audio in the video. Wow. Very in-depth cameo. Yeah, it's fun. We have a good time doing it.
[00:01:00] Um, and somebody recently made us rewatch Halloween and oh no. And uh, yeah, I mean yes, David Gordon Green still doing fine work on TV but boy for the last few years on the big screen he's been uh, uh, mucking about with the Halloween and Exorcist franchises and it's like please stop and so I'm glad he did. I only saw the first of those three Halloween movies and quite enjoyed it but I did not see the other two. So, uh, didn't didn't care for any of them and really didn't care for his Exorcist uh reboot.
[00:01:30] But I'm a fan like going all the way back to you know like pineapple Express. Pineapple Express. Um, even like a lot of little movies that sort of fell between the cracks like if you've never seen Prince Avalanche with uh Paul Rudd or uh, Manglehorn with Al Pacino these are really good movies that David Gordon Green directed that quite possibly went under your radar. Shout out to Manglehorn. How did you yeah? A real movie I swear. How did he get um uh linked up with Righteous Jimsons?
[00:02:00] He and Danny McBride both went to film school in like Wilma in North Carolina. And Jody and Jody Hill. That's right and then they all moved back to Charleston all three of them with all their families their kids just go to public school live in Charleston, South Carolina and they work together. So like Danny McBride wrote Halloween with David Gordon Green. David Gordon Green directs Righteous Jimsons that Danny McBride helms they work together a lot. Yeah and and director Jody Hill has done stuff with them as well. Uh this is my I have a fun David Gordon Green story.
[00:02:28] He uh lived in Dallas for quite a while when he was much younger and um it turns out that he worked at the movie theater where the film festival that I used to program took place. Uh the AMC. Oh wow. That no longer exists. And then cut two years later he comes back to the festival for opening night. They we show Prince Avalanche.
[00:02:51] I do the Q&A with him and at the end of the Q&A he unbuttons his shirt and reveals his t-shirt from like the 1990 film festival that he stole. Oh wow. Working there and had kept all these years and wore back to the festival in like 2000 whatever. So it's like oh well played sir. Probably when that festival needed that money too. 1990? Stealing merch? That's nine bucks we'll never get back. That's right. Yeah I'm sure he paid it back. Oh I'm sure he did. He said you know what I can do it now. Yeah.
[00:03:20] Um let's talk Nutcrackers shall we? Yeah. Um the Hulu movie. November 29th 2024 is when it dropped and it went a little something like this. Uh the movie begins with these kids sneaking into a carnival after hours and turning uh one of the rides back on. The ride goes nuts. Sparks are everywhere. Uh they're able to get away though before the security guard catches them. Cut to this smug rich fella speeding down a rural road.
[00:03:49] His name is Michael and he's driving to meet a social worker at his sister's house. His sister and brother-in-law uh recently passed away and he thinks that he's just gonna have to sign some paperwork. Uh turns out he needs to watch his nephews until she can find a foster family for them to be placed with. The kids are a lot. There's four of them. Four boys just running around. They live on this massive farm. They kind of do whatever they want.
[00:04:19] Um and Michael doesn't have time for this. Okay? He's got a big work presentation he's been working on for six years. But the kids won't let him work. Uh these kids keep messing with Michael. And he has no idea what to do. He is not prepared for this. So it's a lot. Uh Michael keeps having to go into town to take calls because he's worried that his boss is gonna give his big project to his rival Dogface Devin. That's his name.
[00:04:49] Dogface Devin. Dogface Devin. Uh and keeps bumping into said social worker. Slowly he begins to find his footing a bit around the kids and they begin to understand each other a little bit more. When the opportunity presents itself for Michael. I'm sorry. For the kids to live elsewhere but they would be split up. Michael opts to stick around until they can all be placed into one house. Uh there is a family in town that may be interested in adopting the kids. The best part? They're rich.
[00:05:18] Uh they get invited to come to the Christmas party that they're throwing. And it's going great until the kids put a brick on the gas of the golf cart and it plows through a massive nativity set into the swimming pool. Needless to say they will not be going to live with this family. Uh there's another prospective foster mom. Uh but after meeting with her Michael realizes that uh she may just be in it for the money. Then Mike is hit with a big blow.
[00:05:47] His project has been taken away from him and given to Dogface. Uh the kid's mom taught ballet and the kids are pretty good themselves. One of the kids junior even wrote a much better nutcracker. And Mike who suddenly has a lot of free time on his hands tells the kids that they're going to put on a show. Uh they work hard to prepare for the event and uh they're all ready to go.
[00:06:13] Before the show uh he's talking to the social worker Gretchen. Um when she finds out that all of this is just to get attention on the kids so that a foster family um inquires about them. She tells uh him that the kids are growing attached to him. He tells her that he loves them but there's no way that he could take care of four pain in the butt kids.
[00:06:38] Unfortunately one of the kids overhears this and before he can fix things he gets a call. His boss wants him back. He goes to tell the kids that it's time to start the show but he discovers that they have left the theater. Michael goes on stage and tells people that the show is canceled. But when everybody leaves they see that the kids are going to perform the show outside at their parents memorial. The show is a big success.
[00:07:05] And during the performance the oldest boy Justice stabs Michael with a prop sword. And he falls down laying acting as if he is dead. And laying there and hearing what is going on. He finally comes to the realization that he loves his nephews and does not want to leave them. After the show he promises the boys that he's not going to leave them. And that my friends was Nutcrackers. We did it.
[00:07:35] Let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll break this movie down here on Deck the Hallmark. Hello everybody. Welcome back. We're talking Nutcrackers. The Hulu movie from 2024. Ben Stiller. A big fun. Let's find out. Let's share our thoughts on this with the hot take. I will start with you Alonzo. So Alonzo what did you think of Nutcrackers?
[00:08:04] So yeah this is a shaggy movie in the way that a lot of Green's early indies were. If you've seen like George Washington it's very much a movie about kids running around. Actually in an amusement park at one point. And you know I think that it given the way these the kids are and they're sort of like somewhere between feral and just bohemian. That's suitable. Like that's what the movie should be like.
[00:08:32] And I kind of love the fact that Ben Stiller is basically a Hallmark heroine in this movie. Yeah. Big city. He's the big city boy who learns to love. So yeah you know I find this movie really charming. I love the performances. I think the four kids are amazing. They're apparently the children of an old friend of David Gordon Green's and when he met them he was like I gotta build a movie around them.
[00:08:56] And so you know yeah it it sometimes lurches off in weird directions and doesn't quite nail everything it's trying to do. But overall I find this movie really charming and funny. We're back Alonzo. You and I. We're back. I also really enjoyed this movie. I did not see it during the holiday season and so I watched it for the first time for this. And found myself being really charmed by the movie. I thought that it was you know you mentioned the Hallmark.
[00:09:24] It really is a couple of ticks away from a Hallmark Christmas movie. You know you put a little bit more of an emphasis on Michael and Gretchen getting together at the end and you've got yourself a Hallmark movie. It's also a bit like the greatest Christmas pageant ever came to mind when I was watching this. And but I thought that the kids were just really fun.
[00:09:51] Like it was clear to me that they were having fun while they were doing this. And they you know they're not actors. And I found that to be really charming and wonderful in this movie. And I love Ben Stiller. And so I thoroughly enjoyed this movie way more than I anticipated to be honest with you. Like I watched a trailer. I was like oh this is going to be one of them sad Christmas movies. And I did not find it to be overly sad.
[00:10:18] I found it to be quite heartwarming and endearing. Dana? Yeah this movie rules. I love this movie. I was so shocked by how good this movie was. David Gordon Green goes up to Ohio shoots on 35 millimeter film and makes a very like I just he makes an independent Hallmark movie is what he does. He gets Linda Carnelini and Edie Patterson and Ben Stiller.
[00:10:47] And then these kids clearly just friends of a friend because they're real kids. There's no acting that they are. Ben Stiller is doing amazing work just in these kids interrupt him constantly and he just pauses and he takes a beat and he tries to get him back on track just like you would real kids.
[00:11:09] Um it's and it shocks you with some really funny scenes that are just have the same tenor as the rest of the film does. It is meandering. It's wandering but in all the best ways super heartfelt. The performance at the end is is magical. It's so good. So Christmassy. So fun. It's my favorite new Christmas release from 2024. There you go. Um I I did some thinking on it in the war room and out of the war room for that matter.
[00:11:38] And I don't know what really would come close to this that was released Christmas 2024. We haven't done Christmas Eve in Miller's Point yet. We haven't. I've not seen it but but that's all that's left. So we'll see what happens. But I I like I clearly that's where you are. I I just am like of all the Hallmark Lifetime and then theatrical and we've done what carry on red one this this is the best one. I I loved it. It's exactly what it should be. I mean an indie Hallmark movie like fantastic. Great.
[00:12:08] They nailed it. Uh it's not for all the feels is where we talk about what this movie gave us feels Alonzo. Yeah um I'll tell you I am somebody who is not I don't have a proclivity for uh taking care of kids. Like I was youngest child youngest grandchild so I didn't I grew up with everybody around me being older. So I never like learned how to sort of talk to little kids or tend to them or whatever. I I don't have that gene. I don't have that skill.
[00:12:38] But I also like to think that given in the some bizarre thing where like you know my entire family is wiped out like I could step up for the kids who would need me to be there for them. So I totally relate to Ben Stiller's arc in this. I love how much of the movie he spends just trying to get rid of them trying to fob them off on somebody anybody.
[00:13:03] But the more time he spends with them the more selective he gets and then ultimately kind of realizes no it's got to be me. I have to step up here. So just his his trajectory in general um you know the way the older kid keeps asking him you know are you going to be here tomorrow?
[00:13:22] You know uh you know was was just like uh um and yeah that that final performance is great because they're right the the nutcracker for all the music is wonderful but the story is terrible. Um and just try watching any nutcracker movie uh none of them work um so yeah I love the fact that they were willing to rewrite it. Um yeah so so plenty plenty of feels here.
[00:13:46] Yeah um Ben Stiller having to like teach a sex ed class for these kids is very funny. Um he's very funny and then the kids are also hilarious like the things that they're saying are so funny and uh I think Dan and I will be quoting some of these lines. Oh you're not going to say it huh? Well there's a good no I'm not going to but it's a very funny scene.
[00:14:11] Um but I now have a new uh thing that I aspire towards which is when uh Ben Stiller goes to uh the rich guy's Christmas party he's talking to this guy and this guy for some reason says this line to Ben Stiller. What's a hot hot shot hunk like you doing around here? And that's now something I just want someone to say to me. Someone I don't know very well. No no no yeah if you're listening you can't say it. You can't say it. It's got to be random. It has to be random.
[00:14:38] It has to come out you know organic and authentically. I want someone to come up to me and just say so hey what's a hot shot hunk like you doing around here? Uh I thought I think that that would kind of make my day and my life. So uh new goal for me. Dano? Uh yeah I had two uh aside from the ones that were all mentioned the hot shot hunk including obviously. Um the we've been watching this series called Hearts Around the Table uh for Hallmark.
[00:15:02] Hallmark yikes um but it you know Hallmark does a lot of stuff around the foster care adoption world and their intent is always very good and their impact typically is C plus at best. Uh this movie kind of flips that whereas in showing a movie that is heartfelt but is on the surface very much Ben Stiller just going somebody take these freaking kids from me right now. It actually shows you a much more realistic picture of foster care and and found family
[00:15:31] and I think it does so very very well. Even the weird Edie Patterson character who Edie Patterson's almost always a delight but in this movie she's this weird person that's trying to collect foster kids for the paycheck and it's kind of disturbing. It's like the most disturbing part of this movie by by a good distance uh but this movie does show you like the impact of presence of just being present uh and I love that and then uh second and this is really
[00:15:59] just me I had an Uncle Mike uh my dad's brother who passed away suddenly when I was in middle school and he was you know single dude never had kids and like whenever we hung out he worked in a movie theater I would talk movies with him all the time but there's no way my parents would have ever left just Uncle Mike in charge of us ever uh and he was awesome like I stood the movie he went when he passed away I got all of these like original movie posters they hang in my house to this day I love my Uncle Mike dearly uh so this like reminded me of him so that was cool too.
[00:16:29] Uh let's take a quick break we'll come back we'll get to the Wait What's and the What the Hallmark here on Deck the Hallmark. Welcome back everybody we're talking nutcrackers today 2024 let's go to the Wait What's is where we talk about what in the sweet minute school we want I'll start with you Alonzo. I don't know that I have any.
[00:16:58] Yeah it's tough I mean we are we are reaching I have one just very technicality one and Brian has a decent one and that's all we got. We could split some hairs about cell phone reception you know but like. That's when you know. I don't know what the story is in America's farmland so uh yeah I don't know what do you got Brian? Well I got one that is just like uh what's wrong with this person on Reddit uh when I
[00:17:24] when I googled this movie that's not a way I was brought to uh a Reddit post in the movie subreddit that just says nutcrackers starring Ben Stiller ruined my day and then it's just a rant about this movie and then I read the comments and a lot of people really didn't like this movie and I don't know what's wrong with them um and and this person deleted their uh page on Reddit and so maybe they were shamed. I don't. Maybe they were shamed and they said I'm gonna delete my Reddit. I can't do it anymore.
[00:17:54] The Rotten Tomatoes score is not stellar. It's that was kind of about what the Hallmark or Hulu you did it I don't know whatever that is like the critics were very mixed on this and I don't know what they were looking for. I was shocked to see that. But as far as movie wait what's go uh when he shows up for the the first time uh the cop is out there
[00:18:17] and he hands him this bill for the stuff that they broke at the uh the carnival and included in that is some uh fried Oreos and the carnival had been closed for a while. I don't know if they were just fried Oreos sit around. Were they just lying around or on their on their way out of running away from the carnival did they stop by
[00:18:43] crank up the the fryer wait for it to come to temp put them in there I don't know what the deal is there but if the fried Oreos are left over from when it was open you don't want to touch those suckers and you should give those away for free because they're going to waste anyway. Dano? Also it's like a hundred dollars worth. Yeah that's a lot of fried Oreos. I mean not the it must be retail cost I guess. A fried Oreos is only good if you eat it within the first like 10 minutes after it's fried.
[00:19:10] Like you can't like you can't tell me there were 75 fried Oreos sitting around there. It's crazy. This is super technical and maybe you could take it to the tape but I'm pretty sure this happens in this order like 99% sure. Rewound it while I was watching it. Um the first time he tries to make coffee in the coffee pot it's leaking everywhere out of every side. It's a mess. Later in the movie Linda Cardellini stops by. He goes to the coffee pot. It is completely clean. It's pristine.
[00:19:40] He pours a cup out of it. And then at the end of the movie he goes to try to talk what's his name into being the nutcracker. And he says Junior got the coffee maker working. I couldn't figure it out. No. The coffee maker's been fixed for at least a day now. That's as good as I've got. That's all I've got is the timeline of the coffee maker doesn't add up. Yeah. We need answers. It was fixed before then and you know it. Yeah. That's right.
[00:20:07] And then like the other one they're doing you know they're basically doing crosswalk Broadway. Yeah. James Corden style out there. And there are cars behind them shining the lights and we talked about how the cop comes in and he tells Ben Stiller hey they're moving cars or whatever. But then there are people like getting out of their car looking. Are they driving? Are they waiting? Are they going to have to wait this out?
[00:20:34] Because there are some people leaning out of their car that's facing. Got to be able to go around. You got to go around or something right. But it just. There's a sign that says ballet zone. Based on ballet zone you know you got to go around that sucker. It's time for what the hallmark or the hello where we wonder what could have been maybe how it goes to clarity and questions we still have. What are we still wondering about? I'll start with you Alonzo. Well I kind of love the fact you were saying this is one sort of you know romance shy of being full on hallmark.
[00:21:02] Like if you sit through the closing credits you do get like the beginnings of a genuine courtship between Ben Stiller and Linda Cardellini. You know you just kind of want to see like how he adjusts to the town once he you know obviously he's all in on now taking care of these kids.
[00:21:24] But for Mr. Hot Shot Chicago Yellow Ferrari to suddenly find himself in this like one stoplight ballet zone Ohio you know agrarian town. I really that's a whole other Ben Stiller movie I think of him like learning to dial down his you know neuroses and cope with that stuff. It's every Ben Stiller movie. He's a hot shot hunk. What's he doing around here? That's what we're all wondering.
[00:21:49] You know we talked about how the kids you know weren't like he goes there he like sees these kids and he's like I'm basically going to write a movie around these kids which is a phenomenal story. These kids I imagine they took some acting classes beforehand but the thing that I was intrigued by was the ballet. Like these kids were really talented. They were trained to ballet dance.
[00:22:13] Really talented and like they're not old like they're they're kid like they seem like they've been doing ballet since birth but like I was very impressed by the ballet of it all. And you know how long how long you been doing ballet? I guess it's my what the homework at the end of the day but like like obviously he got must have gotten to know the the kids some more and like writing this movie like obviously wrote this with them in mind.
[00:22:42] All of it's just very interesting and I just kind of want to know more about the process of of how how what got put into the movie because these kids were already so good at it and what you know what is them acting like just stuff like that. I'm very interested in Dana. Yeah mine's similar to that which is just I would love to know you know what favors were called in for this this cast a movie that probably could have been you know shot for really cheap with no cast.
[00:23:09] But like is this I mean I can't imagine Ben Stiller doing this just to take a paycheck like I know that Danny McBride worked on Tropic Thunder and they have a relationship. Ben Stiller is really heavily involved in in severance like what all like somebody called it. Stiller's production company is co-produced. Okay, so he just did it is probably for for scale so they could keep the movie cheap then.
[00:23:33] Okay, yeah, that that kind of answers my question because this movie does kind of mash up a true independent film with some pretty big name stars. You know, so I I that was my that was my only question. That's all I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe the shortest episode of deck the homework ever brain. No, I don't think so. Truly madly sweetly is up there. It's really short. Well, listen, sometimes there's really good movies in this, you know, it's good. Yeah, go watch it.
[00:23:59] I have a non holiday recommendation, by the way, if you like Ben Stiller, and you like the White Lotus, you should check out Brad's status. Okay, Mike White comedy starring Ben Stiller that is on Prime Video. That is one of my favorite films the last few years that I think people don't know exists, but it's really great. And Manglehorn to and Manglehorn. We're going to be back next Monday with Alonzo.
[00:24:25] And I believe we are doing Miller's Point, which Alonzo alluded to earlier in this episode. Nice. So we're finally getting there. And I can't wait for it. And then, of course, we'll be back tomorrow, Dan. You and I. Of course. Doing this thing. Until then, maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast. It's produced by Aaron Shea. What? For more information on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV.
[00:24:54] For a free trial of Philo, go to philo.tv slash DTH. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.