Operation Nutcracker (Hallmark Movies Now - 2024) ft. Alonso Duralde, Jacklyn Collier, Patrick Serrano, and Ryan Pappolla

[00:00:02] Hi, I'm Brandon and I love Hallmark Christmas Movies! I'm Alonso and I remain determined to go case by case on Hallmark Christmas Movies. I'm Brian. I'm Ryan. And we like Hallmark Christmas Movies! It crushed! It crushed! I'm Patrick Serrano and I am a Lifetime Movie Expert. I'm Jackson.

[00:00:27] I'm really dying to be in a Hallmark Christmas Movie. Please call me. I know you fired me a few years ago, but please, I'd work for you again. I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas Movies and this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast!

[00:00:41] Deck The Hallmark it's his podcast! Bala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Brandon and friend toast is podcast! Bala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! We hope you like this jolly podcast! Bala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! How are we, everybody? We're doing well. Dude, big energy! Big energy. We haven't done anything the last few years. We haven't done anything? We've done just this.

[00:01:13] Can I ask you a question? Yeah. What is everybody's favorite part of the weekend so far in six words or less starting with Ryan. And then working out. So to be Ryan, and then Ryan, then Ping Pong. That's not working out, Brandon.

[00:01:33] I'm trying to come up with some foil method up here. Like let's just do the thing. When, Bran, and I kissed. Now, you got one more word. I got six good words. Six. Exclamation. I don't know if you know this part of speech, not a word.

[00:01:47] You're gonna have to... Exclamation. Got it. He's saying the word exclamation. Oh, he said it word less? Wow, look at you. My bad. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Ryan. Thank you, Dan. Marcus Rosner Bench Press Ryan Papola. That's right.

[00:02:06] Love you, Marcus. Silent disco, anybody? Thanks, Ben. Y'all all saying chumble wumba. That's like 14 words. Bundle, baby. Nice. Patrick Serrano flirting with Marcus Rosner. Being in this room now. Exclamation mark. Now, Dan, it's not very often that we get all of the deck to

[00:02:51] Hallmark hosts on one place altogether, which is very exciting. And I guess we'll find out why that is in just a little bit. We'll see how well this goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It always goes great. It's always going to go great. I'm not worried about anything. You worried?

[00:03:07] No, you worried. You seem worried. I'm not worried. I'm worried. I'm worried. I'm not worried. You worried about anything else? Was it good? Was your weekend good? My weekend was great. Thank you. Thank you. Are we ready to talk about Operation Nutcracker? I thought it was nutcrack. Sorry.

[00:03:22] Yeah. Operation Nutcrack. Operation Nutcrack originally aired on Hallmark Movies Now on July 1st, 2024, and it went a little something like this. Hey, Dan, vamp real quick. Hey, so here's the thing that you need to know. I don't have anything. I took him to Hot Publix today.

[00:03:54] I took him to Hot Publix today. I didn't really know what was Hot. It was his first time there. And it reminded me of when I was at Hot Publix a few weeks ago. My wife and I like to go to the grocery store on Fridays together.

[00:04:05] It's like a date day. And we like to go to the grocery store together. I don't know why. It's just fun. We have to hold hands on the cart. It's a whole thing. So she's like, can you grab me some turkey at the deli counter?

[00:04:16] And I'm like, hey, can I get a half pound of butter? He's like, yes, Mootches. And the movie kicks off with just a ton of nutcrackers. So many nutcrackers were introduced to Lottie Morgan, who is busy with a lot of work.

[00:04:32] Hey, Dan, what were you saying about the pot? What were you saying about Hot Publix with your wife? Can we get back to that? Man, it was a great story. It was a great story. I was riveting. Isn't it not air-conditioned or the people there are Hot?

[00:04:45] The people there are Hot. Oh, OK. Yeah, it's Hot Publix. It's Hot Publix. Yes. So she's so busy. She's decorating this hotel lobby into a winter wonderland. She is so good at her job. So good in fact that the Warby family wants her. Warby Parker. Great.

[00:05:05] The Warby family is a big deal. Well, they want her to pitch to them. They don't really want her. They want her to pitch to them. Cut to Tristan Warby. He's got a beard and a suitcase full of nutcracker, a very popular, famous, expensive nutcracker and a dream.

[00:05:25] He's walking through the airport and accidentally bumps into Lottie Morgan. And wouldn't you know it? They both have the same suitcase. I'm sure it'll be fine later. What a dog. He likes it in the entire airport. She starts talking about what she's going to be doing.

[00:05:44] And he gives her some helpful pointers about the pitch. She doesn't know who he is. It's a funny bit. They land, their backs get switched, but then he fixes it before she leaves. Crisis averted, I guess, because he has the famous nutcracker in his bag.

[00:06:00] I'm sure of it. She goes to the pitch and is shocked to see Tristan there. Oh my gosh, you're this guy. She gets to the gig. She is pumped. She asked Tristan, Tristan, can I see the nutcracker for inspiration? And he is like, totally no problem.

[00:06:17] He opens up his luggage. It's not there! I know. Apparently his luggage got swapped with someone else's luggage that had the same exact bag. It's a three-back switch him up. I saw three-back switch him up live. You were with me.

[00:06:31] There are B-sides that are out of this world. We had a great time. The Trumbone solo. We held hands during it. It goes in, one, two, three, four, ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Three backs. I take that back. That sounds nothing like a Trumbone.

[00:06:48] So now they have to find out who this bag belongs to because there's a baby doll in it. And that's probably a Christmas present. So they go through the rest of this person's stuff and they find out that it's Dave, classic Dave.

[00:07:02] He's a dad and they are now on the case to try to find this guy and they call it Operation Nutcrack! Cut to Dave who is now frantically trying to get his bag back from the airport. It's not looking good.

[00:07:20] When it becomes clear that they might not find it in time, Lottie takes a different nutcracker, makes some changes and ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, you got the nutcracker. While walking around town they bump into his ex-girlfriend and she seems like your type. Okay, judgy much.

[00:07:38] She is spending a lot of time chasing down the nutcracker and not enough time actually trying to figure out what is going to happen or what this party is going to look like so she's freaking out.

[00:07:49] So they hug for seven seconds and we're all going to do it here. Ready? Go! That was nice, that felt good. I actually feel worse. They're getting closer to the event and it becomes clear that they do not have the nutcracker, they might not get it back

[00:08:17] and so they have to come clean to mom so they have time to fix it. But he's like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know about that.

[00:08:25] She's convinced that after all this happens, oh, then mom does find out and she's like, oh man, I'm so mad. And she is convinced that she's not going to get the promotion and he's like, don't lose hope and what gives somebody hope? The nutcracker.

[00:08:40] They go to see the nutcracker. She holds his hand. It's a moment. They get a call from the airport that they found the bag. Spoiler alert, they didn't find the bag. And to make matters worse, mom finds out about the nutcracker before they have time to tell her.

[00:08:57] She's mad and she tells Lottie this is grounds for dismissal and Lottie is like, I understand. Thanks for the opportunity. She goes to leave and Tristan tries to stop her and she's like, I wanted to tell the truth a long time ago but you wouldn't let me. Ahhhh.

[00:09:15] He's like, he's like, I know. He's like, I have feelings for you and she's like, I can't deal with this right now. I'm out of here. The next day she's looking at the nutcracker program and recognizes Dave's daughter is in the program

[00:09:31] but she wasn't there last night because she was in the hospital. So she goes to the hospital and gets, gets go find, go find Dave. First, go find Dave. Thank you. Dave is at the. She's hand-fing the turkey by asking if she's a girl.

[00:09:51] Do you go straight smoke turkey or is this like. It's an oven gold situation. It's a great story. Yeah it is. So she goes to meet Dave at the hospital.

[00:09:59] Dave has given the nutcracker to his daughter so she's a little bit sad as she has to give it back. So Tristan. You can't put the nitrates in the deli. That's right. They have a jerky. Turkey is pretty solid really. Yeah, it sounds nice. Guys I'm almost done.

[00:10:15] Guys I want a karaoke. Let me get through this. So they, it's like hey if you, sorry about the nutcracker situation but how about you come and dance at our event. And she's like all right cool.

[00:10:28] So the movie is basically over but then this like sexy Santa goes over and puts a present under the tree. It's for Dave's daughter. It's the nutcracker that sold for a ton of money. Dave's baffled. I'm baffled. I don't know.

[00:10:44] And then I guess Lottie's going to move back to Boston and she and Tristan kiss and that my friends was. Operation Nutcracker. We did it. Yeah we did. Yeah. Let's take a quick break and we'll come right back. We'll talk about Operation Nutcracker here on. Take the Hallmark.

[00:11:14] We're back. We're back. Mike Lye from Bramble Fest we're talking about Operation Nutcracker the Hallmark movie is now exclusive. That's the good stuff. Let's break it down. We're going to start with the hot take it is where we share exactly how we felt about this movie.

[00:11:30] We will not hold back and I will start with you Alonzo. Alonzo what do you think about Operation Nutcracker? Well I watched this movie in two halves. And both halves I watched at the end of a day taking care of my husband who had just had surgery.

[00:11:47] So by the time I sat on the sofa I was exhausted and I was like oh this is how moms watch Hallmark. Nice. They put the annoyance to bed and they're just like I got to have something in front of my eyes that's going to...

[00:12:03] And I had that moment and I felt an amazing sense of empathy. The movie is crap but I mean that moment really gave me a new appreciation for moms, for caregivers everywhere and for what Hallmark can bring to people's lives especially when they are exhausted.

[00:12:23] That's the nicest bad hot take I've ever heard. That double as you're all the feels? Oh I got more. Brian what do you think bud? I watched it. I woke up put this thing right on in the morning fresh as a daisy.

[00:12:37] That's the opposite way the most people I think. I watched this in two halves as well. I watched this in two parts. I actually liked it. I thought the writing was really good.

[00:12:46] Written Erika, Deutschman I believe it is. She's written a bunch of stuff Marcus has acted in. I thought it was just really well done. The key takeaway for me, I had like a realization at one point where it was like... Were you on drugs? Absolutely not.

[00:13:04] I was freaking out if I were in this scenario looking for this guy Dave. Freaking out. I would have stood outside the Boston marketplace. I wouldn't have left until I saw it. The Boston market? It's the marketplace. They got turkey at the Boston market.

[00:13:17] They were so like, oh yeah we'll figure it out no big deal. We'll find it. I would have been losing my mind. So I had this realization. You can either freak the freak out about stuff and it'll resolve itself.

[00:13:29] What I want to do now is freak the freak out. Or you can just chill and let stuff happen and it'll figure itself out too. Are you being kind to this movie because of Boston? Yes! No, absolutely not. I did enjoy the Boston accent.

[00:13:45] The dead accent. That was a good time. That was a good time. I said I enjoyed. I love that. I love a bad and a good Boston accent. So I had a good time with this movie. I thought it was pretty good. Ryan? He has problems. That's right.

[00:14:06] So much like Marcus Rosner trying to bench press me. This movie was a journey for everybody. It's a journey for everybody. Never doubt Rosner. There's a line early on in this movie, nutcracker important. I'm here to tell you this movie, not great.

[00:14:24] I'm probably higher on scavenger hunt movies than pretty much anybody else up here. Wait, seriously? I love scavenger hunt movies. We're probably best friends! There's a lot of energy here. Scavenger hunt or finding the missing trinket Christmas item are different.

[00:14:43] I feel like this had a little bit of a comma-may. I feel like it was clues that had been planned out ahead of time. Brands big on those. We love a variety of objects. But this felt better than looking for a locket.

[00:14:56] This had a map drawn in crayon. There was an element of jingle all the way to this, which I liked. Ultimately, there's zany stuff was good, but I didn't think a ton of chemistry was there between the leads. Brian Cover Years, I didn't think the script was great.

[00:15:12] And ultimately, my biggest thing, hey man, ultimately no child would ever be that excited about getting a nutcracker as a present. This movie stunk! Wow, that escalated quickly. Patrick! Okay. Lifetime movie expert? I am a lifetime movie expert, so what am I doing here?

[00:15:33] Don't worry guys, I also watch this in two parts. Yes, and you know, I think it's great that Hallmark has a streaming service now at the Hallmark Plus. Creative name! I love it! Well okay, great, it's new to me. It really went in hard for that. Right, yeah.

[00:15:54] So the thing for me is I work in the theater, okay? And the nutcracker is triggering for me because that is a very traumatic time in theater. You get all the little tutus running around backstage, you have to listen to the music all the time.

[00:16:07] All the families come and they want to take pictures in the lobby after, you have to stay until midnight. It's terrible! Don't ever go see the nutcracker at Christmas time. Don't ever go! Let your local ballet die on the vine. Please, yes! It's Toronto. It's terrible!

[00:16:22] But this movie had very little nutcracker in it as far as the ballet. The ballet was featured, but we did not have to watch like a whole thing. There was like one scene where we saw the actual dancers dancing. So I was very thankful for that.

[00:16:38] So that's my... I mean yeah, it was fine. This is the typical Hallmark movie that I would have expected, for sure. Great. Jax! So Daryl Hines, who played Dave, also appeared in Jacqueline Collier's Fit for Christmas. Nice. Starring. Nice. Nice. You know I can...

[00:16:59] And Starring Jack O'Callier produced by... Yeah, I believe... Jack O'Callier presents Jack O'Callier's Fit for Christmas. So I... Thank you so much. And I just... I love to see my friends working and doing things.

[00:17:11] Thinking about this movie, you know, I'm sort of in Patrick's hand in the sense that like it's fine. Like the leads are painfully good looking. I actually think they have decent chemistry and the thing is for me this movie,

[00:17:26] it didn't reinvent the wheel but when acting in a movie is bad, I get really, really angry and this didn't make me angry. I thought it was actually like an easy watch for me. It wasn't offensive. All right. That translates to you didn't like it.

[00:17:43] Jack's, it wasn't offensive. It was like burn it down. Burn it down. It is contact or representation. That's right. It's been a hot summer. Yeah. It's been a hot summer. Tell me about it. I walk outside. I walk right back in. I don't want to be outside.

[00:18:03] I don't want to be in the sun. I want it to be Christmas. And this movie rules. Yeah! Oh, hold on. Yeah, this gave me some Christmas. It made me feel cooler. And I am also happy that I can continue my streak of not watching the Nutcracker. Dano?

[00:18:29] Yeah, I'm sure I've seen a worse movie but I cannot remember one off the top of my head. It's been a long weekend. I have to be honest.

[00:18:39] Two of my least favorite tropes in these movies are we've got to find the missing artifact and let's plan a party. And this one was like what if we mix them up into a big bad movie stew? This is a tough watch.

[00:18:56] Chris Russell, Ashley Nubrow both have been on our program. They're both lovely. They're both capable. This is not anything I think that would be near the top of their sizzle reels. They would be like this is what I want to show you. It just seems very perfunctory.

[00:19:11] It seems like Hallmark made a call. Perfunctury, that was the word. I was looking for it. I know it was. And if you asked me... You gave that to me beforehand. And we all know how to spell it. It's P-U-Functury. That's right.

[00:19:29] And they gave us one really good Christmas in July movie crashing through the snow. And since then, most of these movies have been... Taking me back for Christmas was definitely quality higher. But most of these movies have been... Wait! They've been movies that Hallmark has acquired.

[00:19:50] Hallmark didn't make the 12-sided snowflake movie. They acquired... Royal Christmas Crush. Royal Cr- They acquired these movies and it's like... We know that acquiring these movies equals big ratings in July. It doesn't cost us any money.

[00:20:05] And so, it's just kind of like we know what can happen here. This was kind of bottom of the barrel. Yeah, it was really, really bad. I did not have a good time and I watched it all in one part. Maybe that was my problem.

[00:20:16] I should have split it up. Yeah, two-parter. Two-parter. And this is all serious. Not because he's in the back of the room. Following like snowflakes, a far better movie than Operation Black Friday. Yeah. Yeah. It's time for all the feels.

[00:20:29] This is where we talk about when this movie goes. So, it's feels... Alonzo. So again, my feels were my recently operated upon husband is sleeping in the recliner in the living room

[00:20:41] because he has to stay on his back and keep his legs separated because of his new hip. And so usually I would watch these movies after he's gone to bed in the other room but he had to be there while I was watching it.

[00:20:53] And Dave knows just enough about art to be like, okay, first of all everyone's just touching that nutcracker without gloves on. Yeah. They would have a bonded guy shipping it. He wouldn't just cram it in his overnight case

[00:21:09] and just like rattled off every single thing that was wrong with the nutcracker up to and including the fact that nutcracker was a piece of garbage and did not have any value whatsoever on the open market or in a private auction.

[00:21:23] So that was my feels was listening to somebody who already doesn't like hallmark movies dig deep into everything they were getting wrong about artifacts and auctions. That's a great feel. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Brian? Yeah, this may be my perfunctory naivety. Nice, bro. Oh.

[00:21:41] But is it contrapuntal? It was a pay-it-forward situation. Brian gave me perfunctory. I gave Brian naivety. Let's try it. Yes. And so I wasn't aware of the story of how the nutcracker originated or Tchaikovsky, the patroness who funded him and... Yeah, I'm still not.

[00:21:59] It was at the moveable. It was a real brief conversation. It's true though. Yes, I looked that up. Oh, okay. And it was, it's really a touching thing. It's really important. Badger, badger, badger, badger washroom. Good.

[00:22:13] So a very important thing, and as much as Dan bashes the arts, I think it goes to show how important they are. He does hate ballet. So... I love the arts. Really touched by it. Very clear. Brian, mine just happened. Not only did Alonzo hate Operation Nutcracker,

[00:22:29] he hated the nutcracker in Operation Nutcracker. Yeah. That nutcracker was stupid. Yeah. It looked like they got it at Ross Dress for less. Like there was not even an effort to make it look old, let alone valuable. Alonzo and Dan hate art. Yeah, this one.

[00:22:48] Which is a classic Hallmark thing of like, oh yes, my grandmother's heirloom ornament. It's like you just bought that at Marshall's. Yeah. Let's not present. You can already go ahead and subscribe to Alonzo and my new podcast, We Hate Art. It's called We Hate Art.

[00:23:03] And we just talk about which we hate art. It's gonna be really good. Patrick, any feels for you? Well, you know, my normal feels are like, you know, little sexy feels for the hunks in the movie. Sure. That goes unsaid, you know? That's just standard at this point.

[00:23:19] Right. So I had some feelings about our character, what was her name? Lottie, Ashley Newberg's hair choices. So, Ashley Newborg. Newborg. Ashley Newberg. Ashley Newberg. She's the gayest villain. Okay, great. Star Trek The Next Generation. Well, okay, my girl Ashley, Newborg.

[00:23:44] My girl Ashley put a lot of time into her hair for this movie. She took all the Christmas decorations she could find and she put them in her hair. She had a ribbon headband. She had a little bow tied in the back.

[00:23:56] She had like a, all over the place. And you guys, like, I was like, okay, this hair, I don't know. And then in the news, there was a news article and I only get news updates about Britney Spears. Britney Spears is outraged because a British celebrity

[00:24:14] who's not really coming to my mind, maybe like Elizabeth Hurley or something like that. Ashley Newborg? Oh no. Okay, a silent there. There was a celebrity that Britney was defending on Instagram who was wearing bows in her hair and everyone was saying, oh, you're such a little girl.

[00:24:29] Why are you, you're a grown-ass woman like, where, where, what did women wear into their hair? Yeah, exactly. Whatever that is. And Britney's like, leave her alone. She can wear whatever she wants in her hair. So now I've come around and I say, Ashley Newborg.

[00:24:43] I say, Ashley Newborg, I was gonna say that that was like very juvenile, but you know what? If you're a grown-ass woman, you can wear a little bow in your hair if you want to. Okay? Well said. Hey, Marcus, where's that video going? I'm gonna ask you more.

[00:25:05] Thought it might be. Agency. Uh, Jax? Um, okay, so I'm, I'm gonna be uncomfortably earnest. Um, I think because I- Are you gonna cry again? No. No, no, I won't, no, no, no, you hold me. Um, I think also because I knew I was coming to Bramble Fast

[00:25:25] and my dad was here last year and it really meant a lot to me that he got to see such an important part of my life that when Lottie's dad, I'm not gonna cry, when Lottie's dad showed up to see her at the party,

[00:25:37] it really did, it really did hit me and I thought it was really beautiful and it, yeah, it got me right in the feels. Yeah. He was there for one reason. You want me to go? No, I'll go. I'll go. So, does anybody else throughout Christmas

[00:25:55] leave their lights on even if it's sunny outside even in the daytime? Oh, my God. Raise of hand, how many of you leave your Christmas lights under in a day? A smattering of hands. A smattering. A smattering. 15. Great.

[00:26:08] They left them on in the middle of the day in this movie. That made Dan mad, that made me happy and so it gave me all the feels. It's just like sunlight is just beaming through this window. It's just- Yes, the feeling of Christmas. Yes, yes. Yeah.

[00:26:24] Feeling real good. We have limitless resources. Yeah. And I've only lost one house in a fire. It's fine. Let's burn this planet. Let's just burn this mother to the ground. Yeah, let's just get it. I love how my hot take was, man, it's hot outside.

[00:26:36] All the feels was like, I love contributing to it. That's right. Yeah. I hate to do this. I hate it because I did hate this movie. Pig bones, you good? Okay, great. Mr. Taunton.

[00:26:52] They do this thing where they're like a seven second hug, releases and doorfans and stuff. And I was like, dear God. And then they did the seven second hug and I kind of liked it. And Dan liked the hug. Dan liked the hug. I earned that.

[00:27:24] But I didn't say that obviously. I was like, ugh, this hug. And then it happened and I just was quiet and Brian goes, how did that work for you? And I went, better than expected. Like, and I do think it was the performances.

[00:27:37] Like if you go and look at the scene, like that shouldn't work on the page. That seems like a terrible idea. But it actually was pretty well done. And then he looked at me and he said, what about you? And I was like, yeah.

[00:27:51] And that was a sweet moment too. And then we hugged. We even held hands briefly. It's not a bit, sweet dude. Let's take a quick break and we'll come back with the way it went and the what the hallmark here on. Dekahalmah!

[00:28:07] That won't mess with the levels at all. It's great to be here. We're talking about Operation Nutcracker. And it's time for the way it is where we talk about what in this movie. Wait, what's Alanto? I have concocted this elaborate scenario in my mind.

[00:28:29] You guys with your words? Good. What's your concoct? Christopher Russell, like, had a liaison with the wife of an executive. And he's now being forced to do the worst Christmas movies. And to be humiliated in them. So like we had the color blind.

[00:28:50] Oh that one's worse than this one, yeah. We had the personal shopper one. And now we have that beard. Oh boy. He's a handsome man. And they have glued on to his handsome face.

[00:29:08] The worst beard I've seen in a hallmark movie since my friend Kevin Chamberlain played Santa Claus in the Mariah Carey directed movie. And I was just like, are we really doing this? And then I just thought, who did you cross?

[00:29:25] Who is mad at Christopher Russell and is pranking him with these movies? We couldn't stop talking about the beard. And Brian had already seen the movie and he came in to watch a little bit of it with Bran and me.

[00:29:37] And we kept talking about it and like 20 minutes in Brian goes, I didn't see, the beard looked normal to me the first time I watched it. But now that I'm looking at it again, it's so clearly fake.

[00:29:48] I'm like, how'd you miss this the first time you watched it? Yeah, there's a made in China tag sticking out of one side of it. You know how you know it's because it's crazy but even in line. Yeah, it's all the things that are wrong. So there's that.

[00:30:03] I have never seen a worse manhunt in my life. Like Mr. Policeman, I gave you all the clues. You've got this guy's suitcase, you've got his itinerary, you've got his child's Christmas present. And somehow they can't piece together any of this.

[00:30:21] And it's just like, did you need to have a copy of his driver's license? Like, I, you know, granted it's a challenge and you got to piece things together. But the whole movie just presents him as like, ooh. And so that got on my nerves.

[00:30:37] The aforementioned terrible, terrible nutcracker. Dude, please don't go there. Oh come on, no, no. That's like two and moves. It runs over here like, oh, how many letters? It won the fifth grade art contest, that nutcracker.

[00:30:52] Yeah, I mean there's a bunch and I'm sure we're going to cover a bunch here but just, yeah, generally speaking, you know, the movie was really trying to make the rich family also seem nice and philanthropic, but come on, they're rich, they're awful. We know this.

[00:31:09] Eat the rich. I don't know where their money came from but it ain't good. It's never good. And now they're trying to buy their way out of it with all this charity. Anyway, I'll leave the rest for y'all. Brian?

[00:31:24] Yeah, they say the Warbeys are the most philanthropic family in Boston. Like, there's... I thought it was the Heralds. That's the problem. That's dangerous. That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem. I mean, they're rich. They make a great living.

[00:31:41] They look like they live in a great neighborhood. But Boston, home of the Claremont Family Foundation, $46 million donation in donations. He did a research gang. The Yockey Way Foundation, $20 million in donations. The Harold Whitmore. 16 million... Harold. Harold. Harold. The Harold Whitmore.

[00:32:01] This family's donating more than $46 million a year to charities. Like, get him out of here. If it helps them in their tax shelters, probably. If they're smart. Yeah. I mean, obviously. So, just... We could pump the brakes a little long. The most philanthropic in Boston.

[00:32:16] They arrived in Boston. You know, this is a work of fiction, right? Yeah. All they... Now, I have the list and they're not on it. They hire us. They don't have to provide receipts. They can just say it. And then we are...

[00:32:31] They establish that and it's like it's true. In this cinematic universe. Yeah. Small town or a smaller city, look. This is home of some heavy hitters. Spastas. They arrive at Logan, Boston Logan Airport. That's not Logan Airport. I mean, I hate to break it to you guys.

[00:32:47] When you arrive at... What? You arrive at Logan, okay? Or they're not Christmas trees all through the back. You know, that they might be. You arrive, you walk out to the arrivals area and they get right into a taxi. You don't get right into a taxi. No.

[00:33:03] The doofus would think that you can walk out onto the arrivals platform and get in a taxi. Only a doofus. You know how I know this? I'm a doofus because I tried to get into an Uber that I tried to order and they said,

[00:33:18] oh no, you dumb moron. You have to go to the second level of the arrivals terminal. You walk 100,000 yards across a bridge into the parking garage and there you get in your taxi. It's just not how it's done in Logan. You stop at Duncan. Let's talk about Logan.

[00:33:34] You dip an ashtray. Walking to the Uber, how many Duncan's do you pass? There's just Duncan in the Uber. One on your left and one on your right. On your way to Southie. And then Dave had his fireplace on and fire on his TV. What's up with that?

[00:33:49] That's a lot. Double up. Yeah. I've done that. No serenade, no fire brigade. Try any way you can to manufacture some Christmas spirit down there. It's great. It's great. Ryan, early on in this movie they say that the Whitmore family is the most charitable in Boston.

[00:34:07] I've crunched some numbers. The Crenshaw family? They don't even know they exist. Listen, I'm just a public school kid. I watch this movie in one part. I paid very close attention. If I'm wrong, just please tell me I'm wrong.

[00:34:20] I'm pretty sure in the last three minutes of this film, Lottie's dad and Tristan's mom with no build up throughout the rest of the film have a meet queue. With three minutes left.

[00:34:32] And then one minute after that, Santa just shows up, does a quick run in with, is that right? Did I get that right? Magical Santa at the end of this movie. Backloaded. Yeah. Jack's like this movie everybody. Yeah.

[00:34:45] Jack's just gonna be on the front of the DVD box. It's not offensive. Thus concludes my wait what? There you go. Thank you. Good one. Thank you, Dan. Well, mine is delivered to the props department. Props? If you're out there, I'm not giving you props.

[00:35:06] So we're in an airport, right? And I've been traveling to come to this lovely festival that we are attending. And so I was hyper aware of the travel bags that everyone had. And there was one woman.

[00:35:21] She had a yellow suitcase from the 1960s that was in a square. And it's like a briefcase kind of suitcase where you lift it up. You know what I'm talking about? Is this in the movie or in your life? This is in the movie.

[00:35:33] This is in the movie. And I was like, oh, that suitcase is so out of time. Is this a time travel movie? It's out of time. It's out of time. We are out of time everybody. Oh, good night. No.

[00:35:45] So that kind of got me thinking as I'm traveling, do people have carry luggage? Like, we don't all have rolly bags? And yeah, people like are in the airport carrying bags. Like not rolling them. I carry a bag. I travel with a bag. Yeah.

[00:36:07] And I was literally counting as I was traveling here, all the people. Wait, what? Patrick Saronov, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. You got that props to partners. Yeah, take that props.

[00:36:24] So my way what is a little bit pee backing off of Ryan's and that this me cute at the end with Lottie and Chris Russell's mom and dad. And she like gives this look like, mm, it's happening. And I was like, I, my weight, what was that?

[00:36:40] I completely spiraled after this. So I was like, oh my gosh, that means that if it works out, they're going to be step brother, step sister, right? And then I was like, right, right? Okay. Yeah, exactly.

[00:36:52] And then I was like, okay, you, but then I was like, Jax, don't King shame. And then and then I thought about when my mom brought this really hot guy right after my parents got divorced to a football game and a bunch of people were like, oh

[00:37:10] my gosh, Jax, like, I didn't know you had an older brother's at your step brother. And I was like, that's my mom's date. And I was like, I have lost the plot. Wait, what is happening? And that was that it took me on a journey. Yeah.

[00:37:24] Yeah, I can see that. I have a couple really quickly one. Lottie is talking to Chris Russell and they're opening up and she says after my mom died, my dad buried himself in work. And I don't think the pause was that long.

[00:37:43] But in my mind, it was for that long because I had enough time to say this afterwards after my mom died, my dad buried himself next to her. I had enough time to say that. And so it felt like a long time and that made me laugh.

[00:38:01] I have one. Yeah, go ahead. After my mom died, my dad buried her in the cellar. Whoa. Yeah. Wow. Lifetime, sorry. Wow, that's dark. You mess with the wrong cellar. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Let's make it happen.

[00:38:19] Last but not least, if here's the thing that happens in this movie, there's a montage of them going around and asking questions, trying to find out some information. The problem is, is there only asking extras who have to go like this? And that's a tough montage.

[00:38:39] It's like, have you seen this guy? Or they put the camera behind him and so they're acting like they're talking. They're not talking. So dynamite acting by the extras. That's tough though when he can't talk. It's just a lot of people going like this.

[00:38:54] Yeah, they don't think of the one word, it's $1,000 more that they have to pay and it is wild. Wow. Well, because like SAG minimum is like $1,205 and they could pay an extra like $180 or $200. A background actor is only like $112 per day.

[00:39:11] But my question, this actual question maybe this is what the hallmark, but if they make a sound during filming and then they just cut it out in the edit, do they have to pay them $1,000? Oh, I think if it's not scripted.

[00:39:24] If it's just like in there you want to make it more realistic and it's... Oh, yeah. No, no, I don't think they have to pay them that note because then they wouldn't have had the cut.

[00:39:31] Yeah, because you imagine like just people just I would just be giving myself lines. Watch your step up. Watch your step up. You need this? Great weather. You would like that. I would. Yeah. You leave.

[00:39:48] Jack walks into a boardroom with a sizzle reel of all the words she says in movies. Exhibit A. Dan? Every now and then a movie has some dynamite lines that make me just know that there was no editing that was going on because they were on a...

[00:40:03] They're up against it. Someone does get to say this, Humdinger, nutcrackers are all the rage this year. Which is my absolute favorite. There's a new trend, Christmas trend sweeping the nation. Have you heard about crackers? For years and years they've been undersold but this year, 2024,

[00:40:25] Hot, hot, hot year of the nutcracker is what it was. This dad has what I can only describe as the nicest dad handwriting of all time. He leaves his daughter a note that is just I've gone to work,

[00:40:39] which every dad ever would just be like I've gone to work dad. This guy is like, Dearest daughter. It's been a fortnight since I've... It's a full note in like calligraphy with a quill pen. Just because he's taken a shift at the tiner.

[00:40:56] And I didn't understand that at all. I hear conditions will be tough. That's right. Pray for me. I fear we will run out of eggs before the brunch. Should you have a gentlemen caller? Yes. I don't care. Your gentlemen caller. I'm a gentlemen caller.

[00:41:17] Do we have a gentlemen caller on the line? Yes, how are you? I'm doing great. Do you need anything, sir? You rang? I did. I rang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfunctory. Yeah. It's good. Can't say that.

[00:41:29] Are you a caller in the sense that you're coming to take someone out or just that you're calling on the phone? My time is up. It was also like, I think originally a crank call. Yes. It's not important. But gentlemen... Anyway.

[00:41:44] So I don't care who the real donors are in Boston because this is a fictional movie. This movie can't even determine what would be a big number to say. So they literally say, we've received an anonymous donation so big, can't tell you the number,

[00:42:04] that we've exceeded our fundraising goal of redacted. Like, they can't say it. They literally are like, we received a donation so big that we don't need any more money. What does that even mean? Like, what do you... That is the most generic... Those are placeholders.

[00:42:19] I have to give me actual numbers. It was upsetting because I was like, what do they think is a big number? And what do they think we think is a big number? And then where is the big number? The whole thing. I was so upset.

[00:42:32] The car Michael family gave 47 million. It's over 46 million. Yeah, 47.5 is what it's going to be. Hey Dan, what year is it in Hope Valley? Right now, 1920 or 1921. We have a real number? Okay, I thought that was also a big... Sheila knows. Sheila? What year is it? 1921.

[00:42:55] Oh, she's proud of you. The way she said that, I could tell she was proud of you. That's because us team Nathan folks, we stick together. I remember the early years where we were like, you know, in 19... That's right.

[00:43:07] The Logan Airport has one lost and found baggage employee and it's Rhonda. This isn't a wait what. It just seems accurate. It just seems like Logan is getting flights from all over the world and they're like, let Rhonda handle it. There's no... Yeah, that's it.

[00:43:26] They're going to pass out flyers to try to look for the nutcracker because of course they are. And they're standing on the sidewalk and some sort of demon spirit wind out of just an absolute tornado goes through completely still behind them

[00:43:42] and just terrorizes them as the papers go everywhere. It's an EF5. And then they pick up the papers. Ashley Newborough's hair not moving. Nothing's moving. And it's like what sort of spirit just came through here to mess everything up? That's all I got.

[00:43:59] It's time for the hallmarks for everyone. I wonder what could have been maybe having this as a clarity any questions that we still have? Alonzo. Thank you. The key is to have one drink before recording and you're good to go. That's the key. Dan, I'm sorry.

[00:44:14] I got a head of myself. I was so confident. Alonzo, the better Dan. Also known as... That's very kind of you. My other conspiracy theory apart from someone has it out for Christopher Russell is I believe that this movie was funded by big luggage tag. Yes.

[00:44:35] Because if these people would just have tags on their luggage with the address on it there's no movie. And there is a movie called What's Up Doc that does the same thing a million times better if we see that. But in the meantime,

[00:44:50] yeah, y'all rich people, party planners, hairy dads, tag your luggage. Yeah. Brian? Yeah. Promo codec. Yeah. Go ahead. It fell off. It fell off. And they are packed. Tag them better. There it is. Big tag on better is this one. Brian? My perfunctory inquiry here. Nice.

[00:45:13] What did this family... How'd they get their money? What are they covering up here? According to you, they didn't. According to you, they're liars. Doctors are rich but they're not rich. So what's going on here? They hit Doge and under a penny. That could be...

[00:45:28] They only invented some painkiller they're trying to make up for. I'd like to know. Is that the case? I'm thinking Boston Family, Big Ships, South of the Equator. You know what I'm talking about. Ryan? Did anyone else keep thinking that Tristan's sister looked like Julianne Huff

[00:45:45] and then they named her Jules? Have a great night everybody. Thank you so much. That was excellent. That's Aunt Bodie as Ryan on social media. Yeah. Thank you very much. Thank you all. Dude, thank you. That's freaking crazy, bro. The Huffster what? I don't know who that is.

[00:46:05] Thanks everybody. Patrick? Yes. So I liked Rhonda, the lady that worked at the airport and I liked how small her office was. I loved that there was just luggage behind her and someone kept coming in and just throwing luggage on her.

[00:46:21] Just like repeatedly just like throwing crap at her. She's like where are these got me from? So I'd love to see her extended movie of just people throwing luggage at her the whole time. Trying. Jax? So that was actually mine but I will say yeah, absolutely.

[00:46:37] Of course it is. Of course it is. I was delighted by her. I think to just you know, yes and that a buddy comedy kind of like Santa summit where it's me, you and Rhonda. Yeah. And I would watch that. Where are the ones throwing?

[00:46:52] You're supposed to wildly applaud. Good one. Good one. Where are the ones? And yeah, I would watch that movie. Oh and I'm TSA. Ooh. Yeah. Oh, Merry Christmas, Jingle Bells. I mean the obvious one is that Santa at the end.

[00:47:13] I just, it was so shocking and so out of nowhere and I've thought about it many times since. What the heck was that? That was fine too. Okay great. We were both baffled at the last minute Santa magic. Classic last minute Santa. Reveal for no reason whatsoever. Yeah.

[00:47:31] Yeah really good. I love that. We did it everybody congratulations. Oh we didn't do it. I didn't quite do it yet, Bran. I know this is not technically a Tuesday episode but I was talking with Brian and some folks

[00:47:43] and I felt like we needed another double decker of the week and then I was talking and I realized you are technically a double decker. You've never been double decker of the week if you can believe that. Did you guys know that? No I didn't.

[00:47:55] And I'd love for you to hold your applause because you're going to want to clap to the ends of this but we got a special somebody to do a little bit of research for us and offer Bran a little some words of encouragement

[00:48:09] if you could turn your attention to the screen Bran. What? Double decker of the week. Hello Brandon. It's Phil Daniels from Boy Meets World. Yeah. I hear from your best friend Dan that you've lost your Christmas spirit. Well Christmas is a long time from now

[00:48:37] but I think it's very important today and every day to be grateful for the good things we have and the people we love. Dan is certainly thankful for your friendship so I hope his support helps you find the things in life worth celebrating.

[00:49:00] Remember the words of George Feeney believe in yourself, dream, try, do good. Good luck and best wishes. Oh my god. Holy? Double decker of the week. Seven second long. How about that? George Feeney knows my name. Oh my gosh. Incredible. Incredible.

[00:49:37] I guess we should end the show now. Maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point.

[00:50:14] It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me, hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep, here they are. Happy day.