The Holiday List

[00:00:01] Hi, I'm Bran and I love improv. I'm Dan, I need an occupation, a time of day, and a season. I'm Alonzo and off the top of my head I have nothing interesting to say. And this is Deck The Hallmark Podcast. Deck The Hallmark is his podcast. Friends host his podcast.

[00:00:30] Hope you like this jolly podcast. Bye, bye, bye. Hi everybody. Hi everybody, it's great to be here today. Weirdly enough, that opening sounded scripted. It sounded like we planned that when it was about improv, so, you know, there you go.

[00:00:52] It's true, we are talking improv today, everybody, with The Holiday List, a movie that is apparently... Available places. Available places, but also apparently 100% improvised by the cast. We'll get to it in a little bit. Alonzo, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. September is here. Christmas is almost here. September is here. The Burr months are happening.

[00:01:20] You know, the pumpkin spice is flowing. You know, thankfully, Christmas morning has been counting down to October 1st, because I think that's really where the action is. Oh, I've been locked in on that counting. Were you aware that on Christmas morning, we counted on Christmas, obviously, but then Scotty also gives us a countdown to October 1st. I mean, I knew that instinctively, I feel like. It makes sense. In my spirit.

[00:01:47] Well, Dan responds because you always play the baseball na-na-na-na thing every time you do it. So that's, he was like, what are we talking about? The Yankees? Why are we counting down to October 1st? At first, that was my question. It's a great question. Why? I mean, like. Now, it just makes sense. It doesn't. It makes sense. It doesn't. It just doesn't. Look, October 1st, it's the last quarter of the year. And I think for a lot of us, the last quarter of the year is just like, F it. It's Christmas time. We're doing it.

[00:02:17] F it. It's Christmas time. We're doing it. That's a t-shirt right there. I was going to say, you alluded to this on another show. And then we didn't talk about it on Deck the Homework. And so now we will. A couple weeks ago. Another show. I was outside. And you drive by in your quiet car. Oh, yeah. And Brian was taking down Christmas decorations in August. So let me explain. My kids are in the car. And I see him taking down lights. At first, were you concerned I was putting up lights? I was very concerned.

[00:02:44] I rolled the window down, stopped in the middle of the street and went, no. Okay. Absolutely. I have bushes in front of my house. I had bushes in front of my house, right? Yeah. And I, last year, put net lights on them. Net lights are notoriously. We saw it on the vlog. Thank you. Notoriously annoying to store. And like, how do you fold it up? Like, it's just a mess, right? Better to just leave them. Better to just leave them, right? And of the Christmas lights, they literally, like, they just sit in the bush, right?

[00:03:14] So it's not like you see them all year. Well, we decided to get rid of the bushes in front of our house. And so I said, well, I'm going to try to get up these net lights to repurpose them this holiday season. And so that is what you saw. It was not. Now, I will say, have I been thinking a lot about my Christmas light display? Yeah, I have.

[00:03:36] If you literally 30 minutes earlier, if you would have driven by Dan, you would have seen me out at the road just kind of looking at my house. Hands on hips. Just looking. Visualizing. Yeah, just really thinking it through. I hate it. So. The thing is, this is, is this, it's the, it's the domino effect. Like, you're just like, why can't you just let me have my fun? But it just doesn't work like that.

[00:04:02] Like, if you put your Christmas lights up, my kids now think it's Christmas season and it's 98 freaking degrees outside. Like, what are we doing? I waited until we got back from trick-or-treating to turn on my lights last year. You did a great job. Yes, and I think that was restraint. That is restraint. After trick-or-treating, I went inside and that trick-or-treats. I think that's more than fair.

[00:04:22] While I'm a staunch Thanksgiving to Christmas supporter of Christmas season, I think that's more than, I think that's more than fair that November 1st or whatever that is, the night after Halloween, whatever you want to call it. Daniel, whenever my husband complains about Hallmark movies, I remind him that we got a book deal out of it. And I think you should appreciate the place that Christmas and people's Christmas mania holds in your present career.

[00:04:48] I would argue that it's my love of Christmas that makes this bothersome, not my despisal of Christmas. Yeah. I'm just, what I'm saying is other people's Christmas mania is keeping you afloat right now. That's true. So a little respect. That's true. A little respect, but not lights in August. Also, this just, and it's still August. I said it. When you first said it's the Burr months of September, I was like, is it September? Yeah. I don't know. August is a 31 day month.

[00:05:17] You also didn't know what Labor Day was. I didn't know what Labor Day was. I told you, my family, we were going to go to the beach for Labor Day on August 29th. And you said, which is today, obviously we know that. And you said, Labor Day is like way later than that. Yeah. Like what? You're going to be gone for weeks. And I was like, no, it's not. It's Monday. He's like, no, Labor Day is like what? The 8th or the 12th? I'm like, it's the first Monday. Labor Day is September 1st. Yeah. September 1st? First Monday every year. That's crazy.

[00:05:48] Whatever. You want to talk about this movie now or not? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's talk the holiday list. It originally went to various on-demand platforms on November 22nd, 2024. And it went a little something like this. Charlie and her husband, Wesley, go to visit his family after the death of Wesley's mom, a woman who Charlie really respected and felt like a mother to her.

[00:06:13] His sister Jackie shows up with his girlfriend Lola, and it remains to be seen whether or not their dad knows that Lola is her girlfriend and not just a girl who is a friend. It is pretty clear quickly that this family is a bit on the dysfunctional side. There is arguing. There is fighting. Wesley and Jackie immediately start to argue. It does not take long. Wesley won't stop bringing up the fact that Charlie was flirting with the cab driver on the way over,

[00:06:43] and Charlie won't stop mentioning that Wesley doesn't wear his wedding ring anymore. It's a whole thing. And that whole argument is dad's cue to leave the family and go to the pub by himself. No one can come with me. They all end up getting wasted at the house, and after Wesley falls asleep, Charlie stumbles into the kitchen and opens up Wesley's mom's diary from the box.

[00:07:13] And basically is like reading it and talks about how much she wishes the family was closer or something like that. So she takes that into her own hands and writes a list of things that she wants the family to do in the handwriting and in the diary of Wesley's mom. So the next day when they wake up, his sister comes in and says, you won't believe it.

[00:07:40] Mom's diary was open, and inside of it was a list of things that she wants us to do as a family this Christmas. We have to do it. And Charlie begins to feel quite bad about this. Like, oh, no. Like, what do I do? But they begin to do these things as a family. And honestly, not that hard of a list. It's not a Christmas scavenger hunt. It's like, hang out. Be friends with your family. Yeah, Nikki Deloach could knock this out in an afternoon.

[00:08:10] 100%. This one's an easy one. Find a family member who hasn't been around for a while. Stuff like that. And that is what it is. Ultimately, Charlie and Wesley continue to kind of have this tension. There's an argument, basically, where she's just like, are you happy? It's this whole thing. And by the end of the movie, they decide, let's go.

[00:08:38] And so they decide that they want to keep staying together. And he and she gets him the wedding ring and says, we'll get you a new band. And they're going to give it a go. And that, my friends, was the holiday list. Holiday list. Yes? Yes? We did it. There's another proposal in there. There is. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. His sister proposed. And some ashes. Yes, and some ashes. Yeah, they talked about snorting those. Yes, yes. I apologize. There's so many plot lines. Guys, I will be honest.

[00:09:07] I stopped writing halfway through. Yes, the sister does propose or to the girlfriend. The girlfriend proposed to her. Yes. And that happens. And yes, they do spread the ashes. Instead of snort them. Yes. Yes. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll get to the movie. Here on Tech Go, Mark. Hi, everybody. Welcome.

[00:09:34] We're talking about the holiday season. I'm sorry. The holiday list. A completely improvised movie. And I'm going to propose that we completely improvise the rest of the show. Wow. I have all of my notes. Yeah, I was going to say. Awesome. The cue cards are out. Okay. Here we go. This is what I'm going to recommend. We start with the hot take. No one's going to see it come in. I need a take, and it should be hot. It should be hot. I will throw it over to Alonzo. Alonzo, you got this one.

[00:10:06] Thanks. I hate it. This was quite terrible. And I mean, like, okay, there's a premise here that we've seen Hallmark do. Seriously, Nikki DeLoach has done this at least a couple of times. The dead person's list of Christmas things that it turns out not to be a dead person, but that, you know, she wrote it in her handwriting. And who knows? Maybe with an actual written script, they could have made some chicken salad out of this. But they do not.

[00:10:35] And what you're left with is a lot of scenes that go nowhere, plot points that don't advance anything, and a waste of some really talented performers. I mean, like Simon Callow, we have talked about him before. He played the illustrator John Leach in The Man Who Invented Christmas, the book about Christmas Carol. And he is himself a Dickens scholar and, like, has written a multi-volume biography of Orson Wells.

[00:11:03] Like, he is one of the great living Renaissance people in my estimation. And he's trying. He is trying to, like, squeeze something out of this. Brittany Snow, terrific actress. Lucas Bravo. I don't watch Emily in Paris, but I hear he's good on that. And yeah, this just feels like there's a minimum of momentum here. And nothing adds up to anything.

[00:11:28] And scenes just sort of plop instead of, like, fit into a larger narrative. So it's like, yeah, Wales is lovely in the winter. And they have a very talented older men's choir. And that's about all this movie has to offer. We were concerned. We were concerned you were going to like it. Because, you know, it's bad. And the family is dysfunctional. You know, you love a dysfunctional family. In a good movie, yes.

[00:11:59] This is not that. This is not that. I thought there was a chance you'd be with us. So more brain. Yeah, I don't care for this. And I think that this is a wonderful movie to show to anybody that says, that's like, watches a Hallmark movie or a Mayfrey TV movie. And it's like, I could do that. You know, maybe you could. Maybe you could.

[00:12:20] But let's give a little credit to the people who spend time writing a complete story with typically complete arcs that work. This, I don't know how much of the movie they had, like, planned ahead of time as far as, like, beats that they wanted to hit. I don't know all of that. Literally all I know is that IMDb says it was fully improvised. And I can't believe it. Just not fun.

[00:12:50] Barely funny. And there's just not enough meat on this bone. There's just not enough story. It's just, it just meanders. And I was not here for it. Tano? Yeah, I really hated this movie. We've seen movies this year and over the last seven or eight years that are worse than this qualitatively, but very few that I enjoyed less.

[00:13:12] This movie made me feel like I had ADHD in the sense that everyone that I live with has ADHD in the sense that I wanted to do literally anything else. Like, 20 minutes in, I was just like, all right, lunch is in an hour, and I've got to send these things. Let me check the email. I was like, at some point I told Bran, Bran, I'm really having trouble locking in here. And that's usually not a problem for me. But it was a problem here.

[00:13:39] I listened this week to an interview with Bob Odenkirk, and he was talking about directing and how he said the movie you should direct is the movie that you read the story or you write the story and you go, I can see how I would direct this. It's not, what would I do here, but I know how I would do this, or this is very personal to me in a way that only I or I believe I'm the person to direct it. It feels like, and I'm not trying to throw shade at someone who put their time behind this movie.

[00:14:07] It feels like that sentiment was not felt by anyone involved with this movie. And that could be because of the improv portion. But this is a comedy set up with a drama improv. Like, the setup of I got drunk and I wrote in your dead mom's journal a list that now you think is real and from the grave is like a darkly comedic setup that they don't play for that.

[00:14:37] If the list is funny, like, do something with the list. But like, some of my favorite comedies of all time are Christopher Guest movies, and those movies are notorious for having a skeleton of plot and then letting people cook. Just letting Eugene Levy and everybody go to work. And the thing about that is, is that the bones have to be really strong and the actors have to be superb. And this movie, there's talent on screen. Alonzo went through that. That's not the issue. The issue is, is that it's rudderless.

[00:15:07] The bones here are not strong. There's no foundation to make something to move it along. I don't know how Christopher Guest does it, but if you watch Best in Show or Waiting for Guffman or This is Spinal Tap or For Your Consideration or A Mighty Wind, these movies still feel like they're moving in an organic pace, even though those guys are just riffing. And this movie's the opposite. It feels like it is not moving at all. And I don't really know what it's supposed to add up to.

[00:15:35] Dude, this is a really tough watch and it felt like it was hanging on for dear life. And we watched The Snow Sister before this. That's about 15 minutes longer and it felt half the length. I mean, it just did. This movie wears its length. I had a tough time with this one. It's time for all the feels. We're talking about when this movie gave us feels. I'll start with you, Alonzo. Well, you know, Dan mentioned Christopher Guest. I would argue that they are trying to do a Mike Lee here. Mike Lee is a British filmmaker, like one of our greatest living directors.

[00:16:03] And he has this rap, oh, your films are improvised. But here's what happens. He comes up with a framework of a plot and a story. He works with the actors for months and they improvise and they try things and the actors will bring a lot to it. And then at some point they lock it. They're like, okay, this is it. This is what the script is going to be. This is what the structure is going to be and we're going to do it and it's going to work. And because we have tried it all these different ways, we know this is what goes. This is not that. And subsequently I have zero feels.

[00:16:33] Yeah. What? Get out of here. Yeah. The general idea of write like the list is a good idea. It's a good idea for a movie to like be drunk, write a list and somebody's. Quite a turn on a Hallmark movie idea. Right. So the Hallmark movie that Alonzo's mentioned is very sincere. Yes. We got to finish these things because it's what Granny Petunia would have wanted. Right.

[00:17:00] This is a we've stumbled upon this and it's gospel now. Yeah. And it just happened to be the drunken musings of not even an in-law. But then the movie like half forgets it exists. That's right. Well, that's because there was nothing to the list. It's basically just like live and be not harming with everybody. So if you're going to like I really like the idea. Have a Coke and a smile. I guess we can do that. Sure. Here we go.

[00:17:25] But it would have been like really funny if, you know, she'd like took the frustration that she had with her husband out in this list. And basically like, you know, there were things that you could have done with this list to make it really engaging and fun. And they did nothing with it. Everybody be nice to Charlie. You know, like if that had been the list, you know, sure. I got it. Tell Charlie 10 things you like about her. Dan? Yeah. I searched my heart, found nothing. Nothing to report back, unfortunately.

[00:17:54] Still just an empty, empty cavern down here. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We will get to the way, what, the what, the Hallmark. You're on Tag the Hallmark. Welcome back, everybody. We're talking about the holiday list. Let's get to the way, what. So we're talking about when this is going to go. I'll start with you, Alonzo. Yeah.

[00:18:21] Much like the holiday letter, the Christmas letter. What was that thing we did a few weeks ago? The Chevy Chase movie. Yeah. Like this movie has so few stakes and such a lackadaisical structure that there aren't a ton of wait, what's just because like something has to happen that you would then go, wait, what, why have this? But nothing happens in this movie.

[00:18:48] So the wait, what is why are we discarding what little premise we have, which is why isn't the list a bigger deal? Why is it a bigger, is it a bigger deal that Charlie has to build up to the reveal of, oh, I actually wrote it. It's not your dead mom. Like, because nothing weighs anything. There's nothing to wait. What about? I will say one of this movie's most sort of desperate gambits that really goes nowhere is when they decide out of the middle of nowhere that they're going to put on a nativity

[00:19:17] play to guilt the dad about his drinking. And so they make Charlie be the lobster, which I guess is a love actually shout out, but they don't acknowledge it as such. And then that everybody just sort of stares at him like, what are you even doing? Which is what the audience of the film is doing as well, because it doesn't, it's not like, oh, every year we do this nativity play, but this year we're going to make it about dad being drunk, you know? So, so yeah, again, this is one of those movies where to, to have a wait, what is to give

[00:19:47] it too much credit for doing the baseline of what a movie should do. Oh, so this is a wait, what? Why? What's a wait, what? Why? Why not? That's right. Wonderful. Love it. Yes. I have one singular wait, what? And it is when I realized that this movie was not going to be for me. It is when for reasons I don't know at the 15 minute mark of this movie, it goes black and it just says the holiday list.

[00:20:15] That's when I knew I wasn't going to 15 minutes in is egregious. You can't do that. For a 90 minute movie. You can't do that. Oh, you didn't see drive my car. That title doesn't show up for like an hour plus into the movie. Oh, that's a, was, is it called drive my car? Is that what it's called? That movie's great, but you're right. It was like 50 some minutes into the movie. Listen, there are, there are movies where you can get away with this. Yeah. That earn it. Not this one. Not this one.

[00:20:45] And they did it a couple of times leading up to it. And I think that was the, like about five minutes in if they did all the production company and all the production companies up front and then weirdly in the middle, they did a good pals production. Like five minutes. Really weird. And then I was reminded now of another way. What? It's not exactly the way what, but like, what were they thinking? The movie opens with the Charlie giving her sort of heartfelt speech about what the mom

[00:21:14] meant to her, which I understand because we need to know that for later. But it also opens with the ashes being dumped, which we then find out is like a major plot point because the whole movie is about. I think they show you the ending at the beginning. Yes. And which is crazy for an improv movie. Right. Right. Which you can certainly do. But again, this movie doesn't earn it or have it make sense in any way. Not even a little bit. I have exactly. Go ahead. I have exactly one white watch.

[00:21:40] And when I first, when she writes the list drunkenly and the next morning, the daughter gets the list and reads it. I'm like, how in the world this daughter has had a lifetime of seeing her mom's handwriting. How in the world does she think her mom actually wrote this? And then later in the film, Charlie says, I even copied your mom's handwriting. And I'm just here to tell you that woman was 10 glasses of wine deep.

[00:22:07] And on her first try, she copied this dead mom's handwriting so perfect that the kids and the husband bought it. That is a wait. What? And I did it. This movie sucks. Back to you, Brandon. Well done. I mean, that is a plot point in Heather's, you know, where she can do other people's handwriting. But you kind of have to set that up. Heather's has a dark, darkly comedic sense about it that this movie could have. Oh, heck yeah.

[00:22:34] You're at your best as a handwriting forger when you're almost black. Half in the bag. Yeah. That's when you're at your best. Flows. Yeah. It's time for What the Home Mark is, where we ask questions that we would still like some answers to, Alonzo. Yeah. I would have really enjoyed it. Just a documentary about that choir. That choir is real good. Choir was fun. Maybe they do some songs in Welsh. That'd be fun. There's a good feels. The choir was good. The choir was good. Yeah. I'll give them that.

[00:23:03] I think they lucked out in having that. And I'm sure Simon Callow has the chops to sing with them at the end of the movie. But yeah, I will never think about these characters ever again in my life. Ever. What happens to them or anything else. Yeah. So you mentioned it, Alonzo, but the movie does start in a weird way. It does show the spreading of the ashes, but she's like standing up in front. I don't know what she, like, is she in some sort of like AA or something?

[00:23:33] Or is this therapy or what? Like she's standing up. She's in the living room. And like at the end of the movie, we get like the sister standing in the same room, giving her memories about the mom. So apparently they must have had something where they all talked about her and then went and dumped the ashes. So that's what that is from. That's what that's from. Yes. But again, not particularly well delineated. Dan? Yeah. I mean, I don't have much here. I don't want it. I mean, maybe a prequel where the mom's alive and there's a script. I don't know.

[00:24:03] Like, what do you want from me? I have zero questions. The choir was cool. I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. Well, where are y'all? We are. We're going to be back next week. Here's the thing. Where we've got a handful of 2024 Christmas movies to get to that we will get through in September. October, we will shift our focus to some Christmas preview shows, which I'm very much looking forward to.

[00:24:33] Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Next week, we are going to be heading over. I don't know if this was a Tubi exclusive movie or not, but it- Tubi or not. Tubi exclusive. It began on Tubi and it is still on Tubi, although I don't see a Tubi branding on it. So do with that what you will. But it is The Holiday Exchange, which from my understanding, it was pitched to me as The Holiday, but gay. And so that is my understanding of it. And so we will watch it. The Holiday Exchange.

[00:25:03] The Holiday Exchange. The Holiday Exchange. So dive into that. It is on Tubi and maybe some other platforms. Just Google it. We'll be back next festive Friday with that one. Until then, maybe the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast. It's produced by Aaron Shea. What? For more information on Deck the Hallmark, you can go to deckthehallmark.com. For more information on the Deck the Hallmark family, you can go to bramblejamplus.com. Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV. For a free trial of Philo, go to philo.tv slash dth.

[00:25:36] You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi. But here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.