The Holiday Spark (Roku - 2026)

[00:00:03] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast Hi, I'm Bran. I love Roku Christmas movies. Hi, I'm Jax and I love Joey from The Bachelor. I'm Dan and can we give actors jobs? I'm Alonzo and smiling's my favorite. And this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast! Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast.

[00:00:30] Friends host this podcast. Well, hello, hello, hello everyone. It is great to be here today talking about Roku! Roku! You want to know what's really grinding my gears right now? What is it Brian? Tell me what's that.

[00:00:57] This is what happens when you try to plan anything. Yeah. We did our preview show. I tried to pick a really great selection of movies, mainly sticking to Netflix, but occasionally doing something else. And then out of nowhere, they announced that the Ian Harding Lucy Hale Christmas movie was dropping like the next day on Hulu. And I'm like, well, I want to watch that! Yeah, we did not get the best. Can we?

[00:01:26] Sure, I'll find a place there. The movies that we are watching for Deck The Netflix this year are not the best that we could have watched. And that sucks. What do you mean? Like Ian Harding. But I didn't do the Ian Announcement. I'm not saying you did wrong. I'm saying we really should have. There's another one that was on the Netflix slate that I wanted to see that we didn't. Tyler Perry's Gospel Christmas? Might have been that one. I don't know. It could have been. There was another one I saw when I opened the app that I was like, is this a Netflix original that looked like we should be watching it? We did the best we can. We're here! That's all the matter.

[00:01:56] The Dream Team's assembled. That's exactly right. You know what I mean? How's everybody doing? Alonzo, you doing good? Yeah, yeah. You know, loving those daily Christmas mornings. Oh! Yeah, and Alonzo's a part of it this year. Every Friday, a little dose of Alonzo. Yeah. Not busy enough, Alonzo. You wanted to add a little something. You know, I find my niches where I can. You wanted a weekly trip to the North Pole is what you wanted. I did. Yeah, I did. Alonzo, are you coming to Christmas Con? No, he's not. Not this year.

[00:02:26] I just, you know, look, I had a great time hanging out last year, but as far as a place to move my book, turned out not to be really the right audience for me. So given the time and expense involved, I just had... Well, yeah, it's a lot. I will say this. It's a lot of money to just hang out. Like, that's one of those events we have to sell stuff to make it worth our while. No. It's a lot of money for a hangout sesh. But we're going to miss you, for sure. I will miss being there. I will...

[00:02:55] I'm sure you'll be capturing stuff for the vlog, so... Oh, yeah. For the vlog. Yeah, the video will be on. That's for sure. Jax, how are you? I'm great. I'm... They say boys don't make passes at girls that wear glasses. And I'm okay with that. They say that? Because... They do. They said that until Brendan Penny started wearing them. That's right. Then all the rules were thrown out the window. He said, you know what?

[00:03:24] I remember growing up with that. And you know what? I don't care. I don't care. I think that was... I think that was before they started doing like stylish... Stylish glasses. Yeah. You know? I've literally never heard this saying in my life. For real? No, I've heard it. It is an old saying. I think Big Contact Lens put that out there. Oh, wow. You think it's Big Contact propaganda? Yes. Big Contact. Wow. How about that? I mean, Jax, you don't look like an absolute total nerd today.

[00:03:53] Thank you. I felt like maybe... Yeah, for those who are not watching us and having this as just an aural medium, I have glasses on and a striped shirt that feels a little nerdy. I was like, this feels like it kind of goes together. It's a little Where's Waldo, but you're pulling it off. Wow. Alonzo just being honest over here. It's an aquamarine Where's Waldo look. I like it though. Yeah. No, Alonzo could say anything to me and I would eat it up with a spoon, but I heard the affection

[00:04:23] in his voice and saw the affection in his face and it was like, I feel seen and heard and understood. What's going on with your right eye? Oh, you're terrible. It is swollen. It is swollen. It is swollen. I will say it doesn't look swollen. Yeah. I mean, can you see a little bit? I can't. I think it looks great. No, I honestly, I can't see that it looks swollen. Yeah. I mean, you still look like a total nerd, but you don't look... It doesn't look swollen.

[00:04:53] At least it's not pink eye this time. Yeah. At least the boys aren't making passes because you're wearing them glasses. Thank God. How are you kids doing? What are we three, four weeks into Hallmark now? Yeah, you're okay. Thank you for asking Alonzo. We're actually doing really well. Shout out to screeners. I think we're thriving. Screeners are a part of it. I though think a bigger part is Kringle of the day. You've seen Danish Kringle? That's exactly right. How did you know Alonzo? You're delicious. Call it a hunch. Open up that Kringle freezer, Dan. We got a classic this week.

[00:05:23] What do we got here today? It's pecan. Oh, it's pecan. Heck yeah, it is. Love a pecan Kringle. I mean, come on. Open it up. You know what we found out? And we're seeing Danish Kringle. I've not emailed them yet. We found out just recently, and it may come up in a podcast in two weeks from now, maybe, that they also have a cinnamon coffee cake. We didn't know. We weren't aware that they had it. Very the lead. But it's on the website. And the thing about the-

[00:05:50] And with the coffee cake, you get their special- They have a cup of coffee. It's like a- I'm sorry. What? And they sell it by itself. And here's the thing. We found out because we were reading the catalog. We were reading the catalog. We were reading the catalog. We were reading the catalog. Doing our research. Kringle.com DTH NOV26 is good for the entire website, including the cinnamon coffee cake and coffee, neither of which I've tried, but I can tell you, having eaten no less than

[00:06:18] 50 Kringles this holiday season, that it's gotta be great. Because the cinnamon Kringle's my favorite Kringle. Where was this action during the marathon? No kidding. I ask you. I gotta talk to Chris Kringle and Maria Kringle over there. That's what I gotta talk to. Man. Man, oh man. Man. But yeah, we got a classic today. Look, they're homemade. They're hand iced. They freeze well. Great for your Christmas party. Kringle.com, you know the rest. You get it. That's right. Absolutely. We got to talk about Holiday Spark today.

[00:06:47] A Roku Christmas movie right out of the gate November 2nd, 2026. They said, yeah, sure. We'll get in on the action. Yeah, we will. And I think their other Christmas movie with Aisha Curry is also out. They just went, bam, bam. Yeah. Tank them. Yeah. You can have them. It's a streamer, man. It's a streamer. Have them. Let's talk about it. November 2nd, 2026. I got stuck. Let's talk about it. I got stuck. I got stuck. I went a little something like this.

[00:07:17] Oh, really quickly. No, I didn't. The other day, I'm reminded because I'm looking at Alonzo right now. Dan knows about National Kringle. No, somebody in the comments on not an episode that you were on, but I believe because they see your face in the intro was like, is that the guy that used to be on What The Flick? On the Young or whatever before they sold the thing and stuff.

[00:07:45] And then somebody else replied and just said, no, it's not. That was a really fun interaction. Yeah, man. No, it's not. No. Couldn't be another Alonzo who looks like that. Alonzo, you have a lot of fans that pop up during the marathon. A bunch of people that were watching for making the merge, the Survivor podcast, were taking a shine to you and asking so many questions about you.

[00:08:12] And I was like, one, I don't blame them, but there was such a curiosity. And then other people started like double deckers, rightfully so, have an attachment and the legions and like, he's our guy. That's right. Filling them in on it, but being like, but he's ours. And I'm like, well, no, he can't. He's open for business. I don't know if you know. He's on any podcast yet. I'm kidding. I think we're all a little Alonzo curious at the end of the day.

[00:08:42] Anyway, as it works, I get 2026 and we're a little something like this. We meet Dan. Oh, that's Alonzo. Here I am. He's from the What the Flick. No, he's not. No, he's not. No, he's not. We meet Dean who is a firefighter who smiles after walking out of a burning building as you do. Unfortunately for him, he draws the short candy cane and has to plan the firehouse Christmas party as one does. We then meet Laura, who is an illustrator who is booked and blessed.

[00:09:12] When she gets home, she sees a fire truck outside of her parents' house. Nothing to worry about. But when Dean and Laura meet each other, the fire in the fireplace literally turns on. Subtle, Roku. Real subtle. When we find out that he doesn't do holiday events because he works a lot, he's all about his work. She encourages him to meet her later at the first event, the Coco Madness. Coco Madness!

[00:09:42] He agrees much to the shock of the other firefighters. After hanging out, he asks if she'd be willing to illustrate the invite for the Christmas party. Obviously, she says yes. She goes to bring them right as he's in the middle of his tire lifting workout. You know the kind. Sometimes you got to do that. He's not wearing a shirt. And that's just what happens sometimes.

[00:10:05] She decides that she's going to help with the party planning because he's got no vision for the party itself. And so, obviously, that starts with chopping down a Christmas tree together. He teaches her how to chop a tree down, chop some wood. I wonder if he's going to come back later. No, there's no way. It's just a one-off tree chopping. Yep. They start hanging out constantly and almost get killed while decorating a tree.

[00:10:33] The problem is he has sworn off dating. He just needs to focus on his job so that he can get the, I don't know, what's it called? Promotion. Promotion for lieutenant or something. Yeah. And he's distracting her from doing her work because she's up against a deadline. But he's sending mixed messages when he shows up to decorate cookies at her parents' house. What do you want, Ethan? What do you want?

[00:11:00] Well, what he really wants more than anything in the world is to win the chop-a-thon. But they don't have enough people on the team to compete because somebody got sick or hurt or something. So why not Laura? She's chopped down a tree before. And so they end up winning and his boss comes to tell him that he got the gig. Obviously, that means the promotion. Yeah, there would be no confusion there. There's no reason a boss wouldn't say anything else like that.

[00:11:28] Feeling real good about himself, he tells her that he can't stop thinking about her as more than just as anything. He wants to be more than friends. And asks her out to dinner. But before dinner, he goes in and finds out that the gig he got wasn't the promotion. Rather, he gets to play Firehouse Santa at the Christmas party. Pretty big deal.

[00:11:52] They go out to dinner and it's going well until he hears the third siren. Oh, no. One, I can deal with. Two, I'm listening. Three, I can't. Call me twice. I can't stop wondering what's going on. He has to go. After they put out the fire, the other firefighters are like, dude, you're an idiot. You left your date for this? If we needed your help, we would have called you. He goes to tell his boss that, you know what?

[00:12:21] I'm going to start thinking about me for a change. Yeah, you are. I'm going to take off Christmas because there's a girl I really like. And his boss is like, that's what I needed to hear. You get the promotion because you now know what it looks like to take care of yourself, which means you now know how to take care of your team. Wow. Real Willy Wonka situation. Could have told me. Could have given me some feedback. He goes to make things right with Laura, but she has her notifications off.

[00:12:50] She's focusing on her work. She doesn't want to hear from anybody until she does. She's actually done with the job. She ends up showing up at the firehouse Christmas party. Those two lovebirds see each other lock eyes. She begs him to stop being Santa. She does not like when he wears that Santa costume. And they end up hanging out, going on a walk, going back to her place and kissing. And that, my friends, was the holiday spark. We did it.

[00:13:20] We did do it. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll break this movie down with four segments here on Deck the Hallmark. Today's episode is also brought to you by Cozy Earth. It's getting dark earlier. You're sitting on the couch. You got the tree lit, the Hallmark movies on. You're missing one thing. And it is the Cozy Earth Bubble Cuddle Blanket. I love this blanket.

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[00:15:15] We got our Christmas movie magic game that we could play while we watch Holiday Spark. We're living large, Dan. We're living large. We're living large. That's right. Let's break this movie down. We're going to start with a hot take so we can share exactly how we felt about this movie. I'm going to propose that we don't hold back. I love this play, man. If that's okay with everybody. It's awesome. Jax, I'm going to start with you. You were really the only one familiar with our Bachelor. I believe you creamed this movie. I believe you creamed this movie because of The Bachelor. So, what did you think now that you've seen the movie?

[00:15:46] Okay, so I'm happy I creamed this movie but not necessarily because of Joey who, yes. Oh, you did not creamed this movie. I'm sorry. You creamed A Dog's Perfect Christmas. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Go ahead. Wait, really? That's what it says here. That's what it says here. I don't have, but I don't have Alonzo creaming anything so clearly these shouldn't be trusted. No, I creamed Man with the Bass. That's right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, no, I have you creaming A Dog's Perfect Christmas along with Brand. Oh, yeah. Did we creamed the same thing?

[00:16:15] Sometimes when the moons align, you know? Yeah. You get a simultaneous. That's right. It happens. It happens. When you and I were both in the escape room with Caitlin, I think we were both creaming the same thing. We had a great time. We had a great time. I love that. I'm still wearing my escape room bracelet. That's how much I love that. I love how loyal you are. So, okay. Yes. I, well, now I'm sad I didn't creamed it because let me say this. So when I was hired by Hallmark Channel, it was Bill Abbott and another woman named

[00:16:44] Ashley Squires who did the initial meeting with us. Ashley Squires is a fantastic producer. Uh, I think that not only is she gorgeous, she is. Okay. Um, but she was, um, Are you trying to get a job right now? No, no, no, no. When is she not? Yeah, that's true. Well, not only is she gorgeous, but she was part, um, as, as a queer woman herself,

[00:17:13] she was part of Hallmark really starting to be a bit more progressive in their storytelling. And then what do you know? She didn't have a job when everything started shaking down. And that disappointed me greatly because everyone loved working with her. And Ashley Squires is the executive producer of this movie and is written. Yes. Yes. And I am thrilled for her.

[00:17:38] It is also, uh, written by a woman named, um, Mary Kate Hegarty, who used to date Ashley. I only know this. Mary Kate dated Ashley. Get out of here. There's no world that that's true. No. I thought you were doing a bit, Jackson. It just dawned on you. Oh, wow. How awkward. No, not a bit. Mary Kate and Ashley. Mary Kate and Ashley are coming over later. They're dating. What? What?

[00:18:08] That's amazing. Uh, Dave's Dave and I have a niece named Meg and, uh, her husband's name is Ryan. So there are a couple of names. It's Meg Ryan. Man. So good. And he's a firefighter by the way, which is relevant to this conversation. Really? Yes. It's like how Taylor Lautner married Taylor and now Taylor Lautner and now both Taylor Lautners. Yeah. I mean, Mary Kate and Ashley does. That's crazy. They did not name their baby Taylor Lautner, but the baby's middle name is Taylor. Oh, well, sure.

[00:18:36] They had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever and they didn't do it, but that's okay. Either commit to the event or no. Exactly. Thank you very much for that. Or name your kid whatever you want. Yeah. Will you shut up? Will you shut up this time? Just saying. We don't need it. Well, you're married at Taylor Lautner. Why couldn't you name your kid that too? Yes. Why aren't you funny? Yeah. Thank you. You love Taylor Lautner so much. Why don't you marry? So you do. So you do understand the general idea.

[00:19:05] So Mary Kate dated Ashley from. Mary Kate dated Ashley. Yes. This movie got made. Look, there's plenty to say about it. This movie did get made. That's true. We'll go into it later. But I just want to say when I saw Ashley's name on the credits, I was so tickled pink and I was filled with joy for the fact that she's producing this movie.

[00:19:29] And I think you could see a lot of the fun women who love women stuff happening in this movie. I would take more. So all in all, I was delighted by this film. That was peak Jack's there. That was peak Jack's hot take. I've always said I really admire that Mary Kate and Ashley got out of the limelight. That's right. And to see that they are now putting all of their efforts into made for TV Christmas movies. It's beautiful.

[00:20:00] Yeah. I love them. Having made their gajillions in fashion. That's right. Yes. I got to be honest. I really enjoyed this movie. I thought this movie was so much fun. I really, I, I thought that I got to be honest. I thought the bachelor, um, you know, you could tell he hasn't acted a ton, but not the worst, not the worst I've seen this season. Um, and I just want a video of Alonzo's face. It was just the best.

[00:20:30] Not the worst I've seen this season. Really? Yes. I thought that he was fine. Um, and I talk off air who that is then. I mean, yeah. I mean, we've watched stuff for other networks. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just trying to think of one. I mean, I, we talked about this earlier today. We agreed that somebody was better. Oh my God. You're right. I'm going to talk about that. My hot take. Don't worry. You're not going to name names. No, I would never.

[00:20:56] Um, but I really, what, um, what's the, what's the lead? You're right. I'm fully corrected. Julie. No, no. Jamie Chung. Jamie Chung. Jamie Chung. She was a delight. Uh, would love. She started off in a reality TV real world. Yeah. And she had a great acting chops and really funny. Like the way that she would deliver certain lines, I thought was really funny. And I'd love to see her in more of this type of stuff. That'd be wonderful. And like, it is like a movie we've seen a million times, but it had a really good energy

[00:21:26] about it. I thought that it didn't take itself too seriously. And I really enjoyed, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. Really enjoyed it. Um, Alonzo. Is this the equivalent of like the first Hallmark movie that you get excited about? Yeah. Inordinately. Sheesh. I mean, look, yay lesbians. Don't get me wrong on this, but this movie reminds me. Put it on the box. Okay. When, when I was in college in the eighties, I convinced my news, my college paper to get

[00:21:56] a subscription to weekly variety for me. Wow. And one of the fun things about weekly variety, especially around the time, like the Cannes Film Festival is all these ads for movies that you would never in a million years see, but that they were going to sell in overseas markets. And this being the eighties, there was, there were just so many movies where if you had like an angry looking dude, preferably white, but not necessarily holding an enormous gun. Like that was the poster for your movie.

[00:22:23] And that was going to sell it in all the territories. And we have reached that point now with Christmas movies. Like if you go on any streamer, there's a million like bland couples standing in front of a Christmas tree. And then that's a movie now, you know, and we're all just supposed to tune in for that. And obviously from festive Fridays, we went through a lot of chaff and a little bit of wheat.

[00:22:47] This movie couldn't be more generic and it couldn't be more just like we, we took it out of the box and didn't modify a thing and just plop, plop, plop, plop. Ridiculous exposition dumps. That guy just smiles a lot. And that's it as far as acting goes. Jamie Chung is a great smile. It is a great smile, but like maybe we're kind of second thing. There we go. Jamie Chung is too good for this. I'm a fan of hers.

[00:23:16] Again, if you haven't seen the movie 1985, a really powerful drama that is set at 1985. 1985. 1985. That's right. That's right. I'm still preoccupied. Yeah. Alonzo with the bowling pursuit reference. It should, you know, and it's set at Christmas. So, you know, it's a good time of year to watch it. It's mentioned in my book. Have yourself a movie on Christmas. Oh, that one. Anyway, all of that said, this was a snooze. Oh. Jamie Chung is a delight. This movie is a disaster.

[00:23:45] Uh, I just, the wait, what's I had to, during your synopsis, I paired it down to a page. Um, I just, partridge. Uh, nope. Uh, I just, I just couldn't get over the, how they were just going through the motions here. Uh, just a brutal watch all in all. And I, listen, I don't, I'm not mad at bachelor Joey. Like he took the job cause somebody offered him the job and he got a paycheck. There are a lot of actors out there that would love to have gotten this role.

[00:24:16] Um, and he has a great smile and he clearly is a good looking dude. What are we doing here? Dang. What are we doing? Why are we doing this? Roku clearly knows what they're doing. If they're going to make a few of these, let's have somebody recognizable. It costs too much money to have a recognizable actor as our male lead. What if we get a recognizable reality star that will bring people in stream and then we'll make our money on ad revenue. It all makes sense. Yes. I have a question for Jax. Is this the kind of project that gets him like a SAG card? Ooh.

[00:24:45] Uh, I would assume. Yes. Okay. Wow. I will. I will say my hot take is, is that there is, I think Hallmark's been pretty down this year personally. Like I don't think it's been a great crop of movies. They've been sad. There is say what? Like Hallmark's been sad. However, it's been sad. They've been in the dumps. Uh, yeah. Uh, there has been one movie that I was shocked to find everyone.

[00:25:10] I watched it and I watched it with my buddy brand and I, and then I was shocked to find that people loved this movie. Like I couldn't get over that. They love this movie. It's a movie called who's coming for Christmas. Well, this woman who's single buys a five bedroom million dollar house, puts a table up and then reads the secret and manifest a full table in one of the dumbest movies I've ever, ever seen ever. It was so bad. It was so bad.

[00:25:39] And I will say this right now. Give me the linear germane nature of this movie over that movie. Now, if a movie takes a big swing and misses, I'm here for the big swing. What happened and who's coming for Christmas? I don't, I just, that was when I felt like I was speaking a different language. So for this movie, which is just standard bad, I see why they make a bunch of these, right? I don't, I didn't like it. I wish the lead would have been different, but at the end of the day, we're doing this for a living.

[00:26:09] So I would still have this movie better than a movie like who's coming for Christmas. So, you know, to take that for what it's worth. I think Dan, it's so sad. I've not seen who's coming for Christmas. And when you were describing it, I was like, this sounds fantastic. And I liked who's coming for Christmas. Well, I got, I got chills. So it was one of these things where I like, I love Rhiannon Fish. I do like, and we don't have to relitigate that movie, but we watched it and did a screener.

[00:26:38] And so we recorded our episode before we knew what it was felt. And it was like, to me, so obvious halfway through the movie, no chemistry between the leads. Things are just happening because I thought of them in my head. And I just was like, oh my God, this is, this is just going to be a real bad movie. And people loved it. So there you go. Also just screw with you about the chemistry. Yeah. Oh, well. Yeah. Agree to disagree. So like for me, give me this over that. But I think that this is growth because normally it takes, it doesn't take this long for you

[00:27:08] to feel like everybody's speaking a different language. And like the first week of November, this is growth. Well, I like to put it in perspective, adopting St. Nick, a movie I did not like either. I knew people would like that movie. Like I watched that movie, hated the movie. And I was like, people are going to love this. For somebody. That's right. And I got it. Like there's a lot of these movies that I don't like that you do. Then I go, I get it. I get that it wasn't for me and I like it. Not the case with who's coming for Christmas. So there's that. Yeah. Let's get to all the feels.

[00:27:38] What in this movie gave us feels. I'll start with you, Jax. It will come as a surprise to no one. And I'm going to quote my dear friend, Alonzo Duralde. Yay lesbians. Don't get me wrong. Yay lesbians. Yeah. Please do the full quote. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. That's on the box. On the DVD box. Don't get me wrong. Yay lesbians. We're going to put on a t-shirt. Yeah.

[00:28:08] For this crew. Don't. I'm not kidding. Um, you know, I'm not. I went when Jamie Chung's best friend casually referred to her wife, girlfriend and said, look at me and Courtney. I literally said, yes, queen. And then I was thrilled beyond belief that when Courtney walks in, she is a stunningly attractive, also a woman of color, which I loved.

[00:28:35] And we see two women of color casually kissing all the feels baby. That's all I need for my Christmas joy. Uh, yeah, absolutely. In a lead in a movie where the lead is a woman of color also. That's right. Yes. Right. I was. Okay. Look, as a white woman who's an actor and always trying to get jobs, I have to say, I'm thrilled. They didn't throw a white woman in there for any of it. I mean, please guys, we don't need it. And they always try and do it.

[00:29:04] There are plenty of us out there. We don't need more. There is. It's a weird thing because I, I'm thrilled that they did that, but also they made her and her family, the widest Asian family of all time. Like they made them. If you close your eyes, you would not know. Like they took all of the culture out of that family. All like sapped it completely. Like that, that it's insane. What they did to that family, but they did at least have the representation.

[00:29:32] So mixed bag for me, but I see what you're saying. No, but Dan, to your point, they did do the cringe white people, parent dancing in the living room thing. That's right. It felt very white. No, no, there is no, but like, there are like, there are a lot of, there's a lot of Asian representation at Christmas time. There are a lot of different Asian people that love Christmas. The fact that they made this house, like a place that just looked like it was out of a catalog and there was no personality to this house. And there was no personality to the parents.

[00:30:02] They just were in love. There was no, it just was like missed opportunity. Is there anything? Do you need anything else? If you're in love, let me ask you that. Thank you. I mean, give me sugar and spice holiday. There we go. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little specificity. Talk about like when it, you know, my going over to my in-laws house on Christmas, we would do stages of meals for Christmas and all of them were these amazing Asian dishes that were unbelievable. And it's crazy that no one mentions.

[00:30:30] It's just like they're trying to like sneak it under the radar. They're like, we don't want to talk about it. So we could just let this sweet old couple decorate the house how they want to. They don't decorate it at all. It's just trees in the middle of the hallway. Please just name your kid Taylor Lautner. Just do the thing. That's right. Just do the bit. God. Yeah. This has been really sweet. Let me talk about my white guy, Joey. My guy, Joey, had himself a red truck and I'm still a sucker for red trucks at Christmas time.

[00:31:00] I am who I am. I'm a simple man. I'm sorry, Alonzo. I don't need your eye roll. I don't need it. I don't need it from you. Alonzo, what feels you have? Yeah. I, you know, I mean, I have to admit, I was amused by the fact that in the first five to 10 minutes of this movie, we have the fire chief explaining to firemen about how to keep Christmas trees from being a fire hazard, which presumably they would all already know. You have at least three conversations in which people are prompted to explain everything

[00:31:29] about themselves to someone else for the benefit of the audience. And we find out it's a party planning movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And think about it. My feels and it's real feels is the restraint of Roku and the respect to the viewing audience to have this party on the 23rd and not Christmas Eve. Shout out to you, Roku. We've seen enough of these. This party's on Christmas Eve in most, most cases. True. And it's so stupid. And they're like, you know what? We know better. 23rd.

[00:32:00] 23rd. We backed it off a day. It at least makes sense why everyone would be here. 23rd. Good for you, Roku. So little things. So little things. Let's take a break. We'll come back. We'll get to the way what and the what the Hallmark here on. Back to the Hallmark. Back to the Hallmark. It's just like, imagine though. Like, hi, I'm Taylor Lautner. This is my wife, Taylor Lautner. This is my child. This is our kid, Taylor Lautner. We want our whole family to be a joke. And so we did this.

[00:32:29] It worked for George Foreman. Oh my God. He made multiple sons, George Foreman. Sons, George Foreman. Gee. Did it work for him? I don't know, man. A four for two at least. Yeah. I share, I mean, honestly, he shares my birthday, but out of respect, I'll say that. I share a birthday with George Foreman. Shout out Brian. Cool. Brian, can you tell us when your birthday is? Because Facebook tells us that it's your birthday. Facebook lies constantly. I know what it is. Isn't your birthday in December? Don't tell. I like living in the mystery. I like living in the mystery.

[00:32:59] Okay. It's in December though, right? No, it's not. I know what month it is. I know what month it is. October? Brian's is in December. Did it just pass? No. No. No. When is it? It's coming up. It is coming up. You don't want me to text me? Yeah, text it to me. No, it's January 10th. There's one of this. January 10th. Oh, okay. So I didn't miss it. No, you haven't missed it. Nope. Not this year. Okay, good, good, good. You've missed it every other year, but not this year. I have not. I texted you on October 14th. That's true. You got ahead of it. Yay! You got ahead of it. Facebook tells us that it is.

[00:33:29] You got ahead of it. Let's get to the Weight Wads where we're talking about what in this movie made us go away what? I'll start with you, Jax. Now, you gentlemen may think that because I've been glazing this movie that I don't have any Weight Wads and you would be wrong. I have a bunch, but I'm going to save most of them because I think you guys will cover them. Here's what I think happened. This is my theory. I want to know what you guys think. So this movie was written, as I mentioned, by Mary Kate, who is a queer woman. Love to see it.

[00:33:56] I think what happened here is I see little pops of that. I see the MFA when they're talking about the MFA program. I see the queer women. I see when the trope is acknowledged by the boss saying, why would, yeah, oh, I need it on December 23rd because I like to torture my friend. These little pops. Okay. What I think happened with this script is we had a pretty original script written by Mary Kate.

[00:34:26] They took it. They put it into chat GPT and they said, make this what your idea of a Hallmark Christmas movie is. 100% other little things snuck in that were little pops of fun. But mostly this was there. There was not enough conflict. The dialogue was very simple. I don't even want to say bad.

[00:34:55] It was so simple. I'll say bad. Just as long as I don't have to. All this is hot take stuff, by the way, Jack. But Jack stayed positive in her hot take and saved it for the way what? And she crushed it. Go back and listen to her hot take. I'm telling you, it's peak podcasting. It's peak Jack's. It's as good as it gets. You guys didn't know. It was a full. She fully was Trojan horsing in this movie sucks and it's awesome. Go listen to it. It's amazing work.

[00:35:26] I meant everything I said. But the thing is, it definitely, it definitely like I know that this is what happened here. And I blame either Roku or whatever the network is or the production company. Whatever happened, I know this script was very different and they took it and they made it basic and boring. But little fun things happened despite that fact. And for that, I give kudos to Mary Kate and Ashley.

[00:35:56] Mm-hmm. So what's the way, what? The script felt like it was AI. Okay. Yeah, it truly, it truly felt like except for MFA, acknowledging the tropes as even Dan mentioned with the December 23rd of it all, which was his field. No, the woman who's like, I send this to her on 23rd, she'll have a lot to read. Yes. Great, great piece of writing. Great. Great piece of writing. Yeah. Yes.

[00:36:18] And those little pops of great pieces of writing, knowing who the writer is, knowing how this was developed, I think that the script was completely different. And I think they threw it into ChatGPT because this is not just smacking of like another writer doing a pass or rewrite. It feels like ChatGPT took the script and just kept these things. There are some lines that feel very much like, how did we get this? How? How?

[00:36:48] How? How?

[00:37:19] How? How? How? How? How? How?

[00:37:47] Oh, yeah. We tried that. Oh yeah, probably. The mic? That sounds good. That sounds good. That sounds good. want to work your way backwards. Let's try context clues. And speaking of the wood chopping competition,

[00:38:16] you got it, wood chopping competition, what they're wearing during this competition is nuts. But they're not wearing firefighter garb, which I thought was interesting. They're wearing longs, they're wearing flannels. Yeah, but then she comes out with a sweater vest over top white button-up crazy wood chopping garb. Granted, I don't chop wood very often.

[00:38:46] Nope. Maybe once. So maybe this is what you should wear. Maybe sweater vest is ideal with button-up white shirt. I don't know. That's when I chop wood. It's definitely that combo. Yeah. And then speaking of just wild lines, this line is said, I believe by her at the end of this movie. Hopefully not by him. It's definitely by her. She says- Oh, this is it. You're going to take it. I learned something about fire. I learned

[00:39:15] that it all starts with a spark. Are you dumb? Are you dumb? You didn't know that? Bruce Springsteen told us this decade. I start a fire. I learned start a fire without a spark. I learned something about fires. You're off to a rip-roaring start. If you start your set- I learned something about fires. Oh, did you? Oh, did you? What did you learn? It hurts. What did you learn? What did you learn?

[00:39:44] It hurts when you touch it. Good God. It makes s'mores. Does it make s'mores? God almighty. And then she says, it all starts with a spark? Well, yeah. Have you seen Survivor or literally any other television program or read a book? Yeah. Oh my goodness. Brutal. Have you been outdoors? I'm over here taking notes. Tell me, I need a spark. What in the world? This is why I've never made one of my friends. Yeah, I did really enjoy the movie. You know?

[00:40:15] Alonzo? I'm glad that Jax mentioned AI because I thought the artwork in this movie all seemed kind of AI-ish. Especially for that children's book that she suddenly created at the last possible moment. I think that's the new norm with these movies. Oh, I hate it. It's sad. I'm still mad about them doing it in Adopting Saint Nick. Like every sign in that movie is an AI slop. Yeah.

[00:40:45] Also, like, they also treat the idea that she is both writing and illustrating this children's book as a typical thing, which I don't think it is. No. Unless you're Dr. Seuss. I mean, we tried to illustrate our children's book. And it was just stick figures. So we turned it over to professional. That's right. Yeah. So that was hideous. And then the prize wreath is barf. Someone needs to say it. The coveted wreath that they're on. Backspace right out of that for me. What's a wood chopping competition for?

[00:41:16] Awful. Hideous. Hate it. Here's the big one, though, for me. And again, this is, I don't know if this is Mary Kate's fault or not, but you have two characters in this movie that basically have to learn the same lesson. She's too much a perfectionist. He's too much devoted to his work. They both need to, like, learn to be human, basically, and kind of, like, you know, allow for things in their lives. But they don't learn the lesson from each other. No. She learns it from her advisor. He learns it from the fire chief.

[00:41:46] And I'm like, I don't know. It's a romantic comedy. What if they taught each other things and that's how they became better people? Nah. That's silly. It's time for what the homework is. I didn't even do my weight. Wait. Oh. It's fine. He's got plenty of weight. What's he saying? He's got a page. No. It's not right there. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Right there. Come on, buddy. Short candy cane

[00:42:13] has to run the firehouse Christmas party. So let me get, listen, anybody, look, this is, the gender stereotypes we're playing with here are insane. Insane. Okay. First of all, they have a room full of bros at the firehouse in their movie room in their recliners. And the chief is like, all right, you guys know the drill. Whoever draws the short candy cane has to plan the firehouse Christmas party, which is insane.

[00:42:41] You're leaving up the party planning to just whomever draws the short straw. And then the guy that draws it, he, like, is going to put one tree up and some streamers. Thank God a woman comes around to put a woman's touch on this Christmas party to make it passable. But before that happens, they go and get one tree. He sticks it up. They do a meet, like a, like a, a bump where they hit each other because they're trying to decorate the tree with lights going

[00:43:11] in opposite directions at the same time. And then they just walk away and somebody's like, sick decorations, bro. And it's one tree, half lit, and, and everything else is empty. I don't know what happens, but I was real done with the, thank God this woman's here to plan this Christmas party. When we found out Joey drew the short candy cane, we knew we were in for it. Um, whatever, man. Uh, that's crazy. It, at the fire station, one of the firemen

[00:43:39] tries to start a chant where he's like, real tree, real tree, real tree. No one ever joins him. You go back and look at the scene. People show up. They kind of go, yeah, but they never, I don't think we've seen it in a Hallmark movie where someone tries to start a chant and just, it's unsuccessful. They just, it didn't happen. Um, so there's that. Uh, Joey almost kisses, uh, uh, Jamie Chung. And he goes back and he tells his bro and he says, we almost kissed. And his bro goes,

[00:44:09] Jones owes me 20 bucks. You bet on an almost kiss. You bet on a not quite, uh, which is not the worst moment for that character who does say the line, you know, what's even more crazier lost at sea with all the extra syllables there. Uh, I even more crazier cause let's, we could, we could cut it in half at least there. I feel like, um, so that was a lot. Uh, I talked about the family. Um,

[00:44:38] what else do I need to get to? Uh, Oh, what's going on outside of this restaurant? Because we hear, Oh, right. The carolers, the carolers. I was, I was talking about the carolers, but then we hear five distinct, distinct sirens. So we hear, and it goes away. And then we hear that five times out directly outside of this restaurant. Something major is happening here. And I don't know what it is, but like,

[00:45:08] that's a lot for a small town. That's a lot of different, uh, emergency professionals that are for one town. But my favorite, how many fire trucks do they even have? I know. It's crazy. I have two that are like tied for my favorite. Number one is what in the fake newspaper is the fire chief reading? He is doing a crossword and the crossword puzzle is bigger than his torso. His, I'm not joking when I say this. The, the newspaper is like three feet tall.

[00:45:38] It's not, it is not. He gets the large print edition. He's like, make it bigger. They're like, give me the sprinter van of newspapers. Um, it's a crazy thing. People that print out the banners that she makes for the library, they do an edition of the paper. You've got to see this. Listen, I've never seen a newspaper this big ever. Not even as a joke, not even a joke newspaper. But my favorite is, is Joey gets the role of, of, uh, firehouse Santa, which apparently is a coveted role by all of these young men. And there's a kid

[00:46:08] sitting next to Santa and he's reading him a story. And after three pages, he stops reading and basically goes, we'll read more of it later, buddy. And just brushes, brushes him off. You know, sometimes we read three pages of a book scram of my girlfriend's story. What in the world? Yeah. It's her book, which is, Oh my God. You know, sometimes you're reading books to kids and then the hottie walks in and you're like, ah, yeah, we'll, we'll knock it out later. Just remember where we were. Okay. Child.

[00:46:37] I couldn't possibly. Ridiculous. And kids are good about that. They're great about that. They know exactly where they were for sure. They're not going to get mad. They're not going to. It's fine. They like, honestly, they prefer it that way. Um, all right. What the hallmark questions that we still have that we'd like some answers to Jax. You know, I, I want to know more about Courtney and our BFFs relationship. Her name is escaping me.

[00:47:07] I'm so sorry. Totally. All right. But I want to know more. Are they planning on having kids? Are they actually married? How did they meet? What was their courtship like? Were they out to their parents before they met each other? Was, is one of them by? Like I have questions. How do they do Christmas? How do they do Christmas? Christmas. I, exactly. How do they do Christmas? And I want to know it all. Yeah. Um, I mean,

[00:47:36] I want to know clearly when he hears the third siren, he goes a running, right? Yes. Um, and his, two more once he walks outside and his, and his buddies afterwards, they did let him do the whole thing and then they get back to the firehouse and like, Hey, that was dumb. Like we'll call you. Does he, does he learn the lesson? It like, I don't like, that was clearly a big strain on their relationship early on was the fact that he did this and he,

[00:48:05] I mean, he did say like, sorry about that. But like, I, I think he's always going to be one of those guys going to take him a long time when he hears the siren, his brain's going to be like, like what's going on? Like, well, I hope so. There are five firemen in this town. I know. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I don't know if he's just going to be able to not do that. I think it's in his, it's in his DNA. That's a problem. He needs to be a therapist. Like, that's a problem. Like,

[00:48:35] wait a minute. Are we, I think we're disagreeing. I think he needs, there are only five men that work. But if you're not working, you have to, you need to, your time off needs to be your time off. You got to leave your job at the job. I get it. It's a, it's a first responder gig, but the only way to stay mentally healthy is to not like, to have time where you're not doing it. Trust the other shift to cover it. Yeah. Okay. And if they really need you, they'll page you or whatever. Yeah. No. Okay. Yeah. He can't run every time there's a, he's not the only one that can fire fires. I think he. Mr. Rogers said,

[00:49:05] look for the helpers. Yeah. Hey, look, my, my, my dad was a surgeon and he would be on call, but he was not always on call. Like there was a rotating thing of who was doing it. Every time the ambulance went by the house. All right. I gotta go. It was like Pavlov. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I just think that this is going to be a longer journey for him. I don't think it's a one and done, but I could be wrong. It just seems like his personality. He claims he learned a lesson, right?

[00:49:34] The line that it's not all about work. That quick. I don't know. If you got to go to work every time you hear a siren, you don't learn that lesson overnight. That's right. It's going to take a while. Alonzo. Well, speaking of smiley faces journey, what does being Lieutenant change? Yeah. For him, because there doesn't seem to be any kind of hierarchy in that firehouse, except for chief and everybody else. Yeah. So I don't know what being, what is being Lieutenant smiley face bring to his life. How does it change his responsibilities?

[00:50:04] How does it change his relationship with his fellow firefighters? I don't know. Yeah. So there's one actor in this movie that is, I just heard a siren. I gotta, yeah, I got, you gotta get going. That's me. Sorry. There's one actor in this movie that is acting the most. I'm not, there's one actor that's acting the most there. Oh yeah. I know who you mean it. Yes. I thought. And so my question actually is for Jack's when you're on set and there is one person acting the most, what's the,

[00:50:33] what do you do there? Do you just stay quiet and let that happen? Well, sometimes. And as the one who's acting the most, Jack's, how do you, wait a minute. Sometimes they'll just tell you to talk quieter or do less. Just eat your ice cream. No, I wasn't trying to, I wasn't trying to make a joke. And when it's you, I knew you weren't. That's what I'm saying. I knew you weren't, but as someone who grew up in the theater,

[00:51:03] I have been told to simply talk quieter and do less. The person that you're talking about, well, this was happening. I was saying, and Dan, I completely agree with you. I was like, I want actors to have jobs, but maybe Joey should play that role too. Joey would have been better than that. Joey would have been great in that role. It would have been a great role for him. Best way to answer your, what was, I think in earnest, Dan,

[00:51:33] I think the best way you can lead is by example. So you just don't get pulled into their theatrics and you just try and keep it. It's like parenting a child with ADHD. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. I, in every scenario, I'm the over actor. I'm the child of ADHD. So like, I empathize with who we're talking about, but someone should have told that person. A question for the group. Could Joey have won finding Mr. Christmas? Yes.

[00:52:03] I mean, I don't think he was as good as Craig last year's winner, but he's miles better than Ezra the year before. I think he's better than Ezra. You don't think so? Is he better than Ezra? It's good. It's good. Good. I remember running through the wet grass. I think he gave a better performance than Ezra did and the dog movie. I do, but it was close. It's not much better, but it is better. Yeah, I'll give you that. But yes. Okay. Yes. Yeah. We did it, everybody. Congratulations to us. We're back next time.

[00:52:33] Congrats to better than Ezra and Bowling for soup. Two artists that you just don't expect to hear from on deck to homework. And we covered both today. I was thinking about you guys this week. Did you guys hear the whole Susan Collins election night story? No. Okay. So Susan Collins, incumbent Senator for Maine, seemingly, you know, unbeatable. Yes. Right. Gets stomped in the blue tsunami and was apparently at her own like campaign party that night. But never emerged, never appeared, never spoke to her people.

[00:53:02] And basically at one point, her campaign staff put closing time on the speakers. Oh my gosh. Shout out. Man, man. I only know closing time because of y'all. Yeah. Wow. That is so, that is so sweet. Cause she was one of the senators that initially sometimes would vote with the Democrats. I had hope in her and then she let me down. So bye. Bye. Susan Collins. Closing time. Closing time. One last call. Closing time. We did a congrats to us next week. A dog's perfect Christmas,

[00:53:32] our first Netflix movie. We will dive into it and see if we cry. Until then, I'm the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast produced by Brandon Gray. And yeah, that Greenville, South Carolina presented by Racine Danish Kringles at Kringle.com. Head on over to deckthehallmark.com or on Insta at deckthehallmark. Leave us a five star rating review on Apple Podcasts. If you please, then head on over to bramblejamplus.com to find the best corner of the internet, the best Facebook community, ad-free podcasting, live video watch-along movie chats, and so much more.

[00:54:02] That's bramblejamplus.com. You're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio. Thanks for listening or don't listen. It's really up to you at this point. It's at the end of the show. I mean, you're listening to me. Hi, but here they come. I promise they're coming. Yep. Here they are. Happy day.